That final point about the prevalence of limerence possibly being linked to the extent to which people feel connected to those around them is mind-blowing. In light of the fact that limerence grows from a sense of lack: feelings of loneliness and isolation, it is highly likely that we have developed this condition as a wake up call to ourselves that we are straying from our deepest desires for meaningful connections. Beautiful video and analysis by the way!
Been with my husband 16yrs. Open relationship for past year. Everytime I fall for someone (usually after we've hung out for months) nothing comes to fruition except deep personal growth and understanding ourselves better. I'll take it, lol
My most recent LE ended when I realized the qualities that I had projected onto LO that drew me to him, were actually qualities that I possessed myself. It allowed me to see him for who he really was, and to love myself as i was the person I wanted to be all along!
I understand what you are saying. It was after I studied Neuroscience and Psychology MS ( as a very mature student) , that I realized I experienced limerance as a man for a woman. Completely obsessed. I have suffered CPTSD from a very bad childhood string of traumas. When I met this person, the feeling was mutual and it was like a spring inside me that had been unwound. All of my starved love from being a very small child was unleashed and I absolutely could give her all of the love I was capable of giving. 27 years later we are still together, happily married and devoted to each other. It was the best thing that ever happened in my life. And btw, she picked me up after spotting me at a business meeting.
It really seems like ur excusing hoe like behavior as a spiritual journey, and tho it is all a spiritual journey in a sense , 15 in a few years is not just finding urself. 🤷🏽♂️🧐
This is so good. I have walked out this exact experience over the last 4 years and just reached the final stage and have begun to self actualize after a lot of work on myself.
'Under possession' - I felt possessed. I COULD NOT LOGIC MY WAY OUT OF IT. I fought and fought it and being freed of it, feels like it was also not something I can take credit for. Although I prayed and prayed for it. Alot of personal development is likely the reason I was freed. Great way to frame it ❤❤❤ 2 yrs of it, and I'm hugely transformed and authentic, and it was a huge gift. I now am free of it and I found love for myself but I needed to epxerience myself through another to see myself in a real way and learn to love myself. Now I have myself. ❤
Excellent summary of llimmerence. The inherent trend associated with it-towards-creativity is something I never connected. Creativity is especially possible if the lo is supportive and somewhat intentionally or not reciprocates or appears to encourage the limmerent drive within. It is when the lo finally breaks with the limmernt individual that mental chaos erupts nearly non stop. The limmerent individual works lik a crazed beaver to ‘get that feeling back’. In a way the limmerent person now is own their own. They have to utilize their Eros force on their own withou the lo. The ‘without the lo’ is what creates huge mental anxiety. And the need for ‘reconnection” with the lo drives the compulsive behaviour evident in limmerence. This is the first account of limmernece that has made me understand its inner obsessive drive and continual pestering of the love object to keep the connection going even when the lo no longer wants to reciprocate the limmernets drives. The drive towards coherence and authenticity is still extremely difficult for the the limmerent who still craves for the lo and ‘can’t let go”-I speak from experience. Great work citing clinical literature instead of just ‘talk’.
I can understand your points and from my experience with limerence, my behavior was out of pure ignorance. The men I liked had options, and always had a tougher mental state than I had. They didn’t see me through rose colored lenses and always were careful about what they’d give me. Alternatively, I was raised to have an open heart and open behavior. Even when I’d see physical flaws, and behaviors that weren’t great with them, I’d choose to override my negative feelings because I wanted to believe that things were meant to be. I was desperate to be loved by a certain kind of person. I think many people who experience limerence have an immature mind.
But there are limerent relationships that do manifest in physical world, as there are twin flame connections that manifest in physical world. I totally agree that the hostile takeover of “twin flame” connections has gotten out of control. But the true essence of twin flame journey is just what she described here - coming into wholeness with oneself. I actually think it would be fascinating to do more exploration into the connections of twin flame flame journeys and limerence. I think it would be even more fascinating to add astrology to the mix and examine the energies between two people that draw them together. I think there are many more commonalities among these topics than meet the eye.
I am a fellow limerence experiencer or suffer. I do struggle with hardships, anxiety, stress, depression, and the human experience. I know the pain. This video was so helpful and insightful. Thanks for sharing this.😊❤️
Thank you for this video and rooting it in actual research! I developed my own theory based on personal experience with limerence and my life, which is summed up as so (in very crude terms with updated terms from your video): We are attracted to an LO because there is a lesson we need to learn from the experience of not being able to actually realize the fantasy in our minds. So basically what you’re saying about that self-expansion! It’s an opportunity to observe oneself through the stages of this psychosomatic journey and learn why we are attracted to/fantasize about those specific LOs as a tool of self-awareness. It’s never about them to begin with, but it takes great mindfulness to recognize this. For me, it happened when I was actually able to develop a relationship with an LO and be severely disappointed when they didn’t live up to the fantasy, which make me reconsider the meaning of love and attraction in my mind.
I really like your idea around the person being a lesson for us. That’s kinda how I’ve processed the shame and mistrust in myself that comes from allowing myself to fall into limerence over the years when I otherwise consider myself a self aware and intelligent person.
I’ve leveraged my limerence into self growth! And now, even though that LO isn’t a LO anymore, she is a friend lol and her bf is very friendly to me awwww It was intense at some points though ! I’m happy I didn’t get stuck at the first level of it
This is an AMAZING video. Ive been thinking about this a lot, and you're the only source who has touched on these ideas in this particular way. Interestingly, I have a form of limerance even in relationships. This whole thing about experiening limerance as a way to recognize parts of yourself that you don't have access to/repress is very relatable to me. Please write/post more about these ideas if you can!
I believe you’d have the predisposition/ constitution. Also it’s an imaginary friend you develop in order to feel loved when there’s neglect in your family. Where development was supposed to happen. Instead of developing we had to put our attention outward onto this unspoken dilemma. Whenever I experience limerence, I have a meeting with my inner child to find out what’s being neglected. Getting to that root makes it go away. The reason it has that expansion quality is because of the love chemistry that’s a drug. The growth comes from when you pull back to recognizing you are self neglecting in the first place. Or something you were looking for that you needed and maybe some of those qualities you projected onto your LO. That quote about the crack is where the light gets in specially seems to relate to this as well as trauma.
Limerance, to the damaged person, feels like love for painfully obvious reasons. Love is not rational nor is limerence. No one has ever planned to fall into love. Nor has anyone "rose" into love. There is always the idea of "falling". And both truly falling love and descending into limerence have the idea of the fall. The total loss of control. It's impossible to discern to the limerant person. So unfortunate. For me, it took 50+ years to identify, acknowledge, and resolve. I literally can be "hooked" for decade easily. I still have echoes of someone I encountered in 2016. I'm much better today as I have realized everything for which I am looking is intrinsically in me....already. What I see and am attracted in others is actually...ME. Like I said, it took a long time. For me, after reorienting and reorganizing my internal operating system, limerent encounters were actually a journey to find out who I really am. I was just pointed in the wrong direction.
I thought I needed the Lo for closure, I didn't. I needed to fully detach and give myself the unmet needs/acceptance "love" that the Lo in my mind had provided. When we met, I was depressed and didn't even think they could like me but they did for whatever reason at the time. I made a list of all the pros and cons of the connection or lack thereof. There were more cons that helped me too see the reality of things. What kept me stuck is blaming myself... if I'd been a better person they'd stick around. They were in and out of my life. (A lot of broken promises from that person and emotional immaturity). More recently, being more self-compassionate and being treated better by other people helped me heal too. I let go fully and the Lo came back around as a test. It triggered me. I don't plan to reconnect because I always deserved better from myself and others. 👑
This is a fantastic video; my analytical brain is always in problem solving mode - limerence is not solvable via logic. This video teaches how to USE limerence to find one’s authenticity. I’ve never heard this perspective. My sincere thanks to you, Adele Deriquito LCPC! 🙏
Yes, I was so lonely when I met my two L.O.s in two consecutive years Dec2021-May2022 and Feb2023-Feb2024. I just needed someone to see me. But all that is "fixed". I am home in myself now. Thank you Jessica (2021) and Jay Ar (2023). I hope both your tribes prosper.
A brilliant post and, for me, very timely. Thank you for this. You go through degrees of limerence to the extent that you understand what is happening. I have actually had many conversations and experiences with my LO. However, she has repeatedly rebuffed the chances to add more emotional and physical intimacy to our relationship. In addition, she knows that I love her and I am very, mindful of our boundaries. This is timely because many aspects have been creative and developmental for me. Having had some limerence in the past, I understood what I was getting into. There is also synchronicity in these events. As a result of this relationship, I have experienced more heart-opening; I work hard, I create art, I write, and I have returned to playing my guitar, which I gave up during a very stormy divorce and MDD. So, I am grateful for all that has happened. I especially note that men and women like to be around me and that I love myself more than I ever have. I am ready to let go and change my daily practices to be more open to the needed relationships.
You fall in love with someone out of your league and find new insecurities you weren’t aware you had. You feel bad about yourself and you need a reciprocation =validation from that person. You don’t receive it , you begin with your self searching, you grow. As more you cling onto your LO, the faster they run. What makes you want them even more. All normal human behavior.
I've been limerent for almost one year now, seen this person only 3 times. I think it's because I had the most intense kundalini activation of my life, on our first meeting, it was like meeting God. (I know it sounds insane, but he is a very spiritual person, who had done energy work). I became super depressed afterwards, since he became 'busy' and had all of these excuses why 'we' wouldn't work. I tried to move on, cut all contact. Dated someone else in the main time, but that also didn't work out, since my heart is still with the spiritual guy. I dont know if I gave a part of myself away, or did that he took it away from me? I'm intrigued by him and scared at the same time. I haven't been myself since. Talking to other people also doesn't help, because no one truly understands.
Is there a way for you to give this “God-like” experience to yourself? Can you command and call back your power from him? Maybe it’s just your perception of the experience and he was just an Angel to show you your true potential that you could give yourself. He’s not that special. He’s just a human like the rest of us.
@@hayleysterling3598Thank you! Yes, I would like to know what that was exactly what I experienced.. He also said to me on the phone that it wasn't 'him' that I felt: it was something greater then that/something greater than us. And that you can have that with many other people. (Which I didn't believe when he said that, I thought this is what happens when you meet your soulmate.. ) So yes, I can see what you mean, I just don't know yet how.. HOW I could give that to myself..?
...hmmm.... Spiritual guy who fed on the energy you both created, and then left you high and dry w no explanation! The thing with Kundalini energy, is that it is a cocktail of good chemistry your own brain creates. So yes, technically it's a natural high. And technically, there. Be a come down! This kind of goes into doing drugs responsibly And integrity in spiritual work and practices And into gurus and spiritual teachers! Trust this helps someone. Much Love
I can relate to the kundalini experience. I had this once for a LO, felt like all of my chakra centers opened up. Could feel energy from the heart to the head to my genitalia, a warm energy that surged through these areas via the spine. I’ve always tried to understand what it was but it doesn’t make sense at all and is super confusing. I never know when I have a crush or a LO these days because of the intensity I feel
This was really a thoughtful and insightful presentation- never heard limerence broken down this way- I felt this- but never knew it was backed up with research. New sub. Thank you so much 💗 With deepest gratitude from Bermuda 😊
could we have limerence towards are abusive toxic families who don't love us back, yet we still stay aside from repetition compulsion and trauma bonding, but when we know for a fact the abuse, we receive how could we love those who truly dont love us back some kind of delusion must be taking place regardless of them being our parents or family especially with all the hurt pain resentment , is it possible what we think is love we feel for our abusers it might just be limerence ?
Im appreciating the thoughtfulness you've put into this. I am curious about the research paper and video clip you have referenced. Would you please share those? I would like to educate myself through those as well. Thank You.
Wow, this lecture explains so and makes complete sense of some of my past experiences. Thank you for the brilliant and intelligent and super interesting insights!
I heard you say “feminological” several times, and was unsure if that was intended or if you meant “phenomenological.” Was confused about whether I should be thinking about what you’re saying in the context of feminism or of phenomenology.
Thank you, that is the recurring piece of feedback I've received about the VO (I was getting a little too experimental lol). I’m familiar with the Anima/Animus, but not the four stages..looking into this. It is very interesting. If you have any recommended readings on these stages, I’d greatly appreciate it!
@@reflectionswithadelle afaik there are only the few pages Jung actually wrote. Physical Power, Planned Action, the Word, Spiritual Power. Eve Helen Mary Sophia. if you're limerent to an archetype are you trying to become that stage in yourself?
I'm looking more into this. Everyone keeps bringing up Jung. And I love his work, but trying to condense it all may be challenging. Thank you for sharing!
My therapist told me she has limerence for people then 3 months into our sessions she told me that she loves me and that I am her favourite patient.. why would she say this to me? This has made me somewhat uncomfortable to be around her, should I stop seeing her?
Yes you should stop seeing them, that's unprofessional and dangerous. It doesn't matter how they feel, it's an abuse of position and high risk to your treatment. Edit: did you mean in love or love having you as a patient? Either way your comfort should take priority in your treatment.
@@m3ntyb after something I said had amused her she threw her head back and said “I love you you’re my favourite patient” she said this to me twice on 2 separate occasions, something feels eerie about it like she’s saying these things to try and get me to love her back..
@@m3ntyb I’ve already told her that she looks a lot like my ex boyfriend (who was trans) and something lit up in her eyes when I told her this.. she asked me why I fell for him and I told her it’s because he said that he loved me.. so her having this knowledge and then telling me “she loves me” just feels like a weird manipulation to me and I can’t fully trust her now.
@@m3ntyb I’ve told her that I desperately want to get married and have a family but she tells me things like marriage isn’t that great she told me she got married one year older than I was and now she’s divorced and her husband is attempting to sue her for one million dollars, this is making me rethink life and my personal goals because I don’t want to end up in her situation.
@@meganbaute4254 it sounds like a lot of boundaries are being crossed with how much she is sharing about her personal life and giving you suggestions. You should probably just trust your instincts and abandon. Ask the place to give you a referral (not them), and don't allow guilt about being a "bad person" for moving on. There are other therapists out there, don't settle for one that feels familiar and you have a bond with just because you need support. That's exactly how you might end up in a bad relationship.
I'm really interested in the topic and your take on it, but you use very difficult words that make it hard for me to understand properly. I wish you could use simpler language. Thank you for the video❤🙏🏼
Doesn’t falling into limerence feel like imprinting on someone, like in the Twilight books? You see your LO for the first time and are immediately and inexorably whisked, against your will, into your own personal world of tragedy and fantasy.
I apologize but your speech phrasing is simply horrible... It seems you cut the movie after each word spoken sounding more like AI rather than a real human being. I literally couldn't focus to the meaning of the phrases because the speech was so slow and words cut as if coming out of a wood chopper. As for the essence, is disappointing because there is something good in there but boy you get lost in terminology and there's little substance. With a more natural speech flow and some easiness in the way you're talking + a better preparation and connaissance of the topic you'll do better next time, I am sure
Thanks for the feedback. I am super new to filming, editing, etc. I spend a lot of time on the videos and feedback like this can definitely help me do better on the next one.
Kinda have some recent experience with this. Where my LO in a sense, inspired me to do things i was putting off or needed to do, as if it was to prepare for being with them. Though i knew my chance were low and the signs showed it. I think my LO woke me up from my stagnation. Made me find interest in the world through her perspective. I think in mtime my feelings for her may fade. I feel like i view them more grounded now and realize they prb wouldnt be a good partner haha tbh neither would i at this moment, but i think thats the point. Instill have ra lot of room to grow. This was both painful and lovely and confusion as an experience, but view it was something within trying to tell you to.wakw.up
That final point about the prevalence of limerence possibly being linked to the extent to which people feel connected to those around them is mind-blowing. In light of the fact that limerence grows from a sense of lack: feelings of loneliness and isolation, it is highly likely that we have developed this condition as a wake up call to ourselves that we are straying from our deepest desires for meaningful connections. Beautiful video and analysis by the way!
yup I think too we live in a digital age that its more common on the young generation with social media and all
Been with my husband 16yrs. Open relationship for past year. Everytime I fall for someone (usually after we've hung out for months) nothing comes to fruition except deep personal growth and understanding ourselves better. I'll take it, lol
My most recent LE ended when I realized the qualities that I had projected onto LO that drew me to him, were actually qualities that I possessed myself. It allowed me to see him for who he really was, and to love myself as i was the person I wanted to be all along!
Your animus❤
I understand what you are saying. It was after I studied Neuroscience and Psychology MS ( as a very mature student) , that I realized I experienced limerance as a man for a woman. Completely obsessed. I have suffered CPTSD from a very bad childhood string of traumas. When I met this person, the feeling was mutual and it was like a spring inside me that had been unwound. All of my starved love from being a very small child was unleashed and I absolutely could give her all of the love I was capable of giving. 27 years later we are still together, happily married and devoted to each other. It was the best thing that ever happened in my life. And btw, she picked me up after spotting me at a business meeting.
Limerence 100% helped me find myself and feel whole. It took a few years and about 15 different LOs to get to stage 4 & 5, but I’m here!! 😂
It really seems like ur excusing hoe like behavior as a spiritual journey, and tho it is all a spiritual journey in a sense , 15 in a few years is not just finding urself. 🤷🏽♂️🧐
Confusing getting holes stuffed with filling ur soul 🧐
How the f does the algorithm knew I’ve fallen into limerence? Is it spying on how often I open a chat without getting a reply? Gosh this is effed up
haha
the algorithm go crazy
the algorithm knows too much
It studies the patterns of people similar to you, because people aren't really that unique, it suggests based on your demographic
@@TheLastMimzie people unique but we had based similarities as humans
I'm going through that too.. but only AFTER 2 years of constant contact... it's like withdrawing
This is so good. I have walked out this exact experience over the last 4 years and just reached the final stage and have begun to self actualize after a lot of work on myself.
'Under possession' - I felt possessed. I COULD NOT LOGIC MY WAY OUT OF IT. I fought and fought it and being freed of it, feels like it was also not something I can take credit for. Although I prayed and prayed for it. Alot of personal development is likely the reason I was freed. Great way to frame it ❤❤❤ 2 yrs of it, and I'm hugely transformed and authentic, and it was a huge gift. I now am free of it and I found love for myself but I needed to epxerience myself through another to see myself in a real way and learn to love myself. Now I have myself. ❤
Excellent summary of llimmerence. The inherent trend associated with it-towards-creativity is something I never connected. Creativity is especially possible if the lo is supportive and somewhat intentionally or not reciprocates or appears to encourage the limmerent drive within. It is when the lo finally breaks with the limmernt individual that mental chaos erupts nearly non stop. The limmerent individual works lik a crazed beaver to ‘get that feeling back’. In a way the limmerent person now is own their own. They have to utilize their Eros force on their own withou the lo. The ‘without the lo’ is what creates huge mental anxiety. And the need for ‘reconnection” with the lo drives the compulsive behaviour evident in limmerence. This is the first account of limmernece that has made me understand its inner obsessive drive and continual pestering of the love object to keep the connection going even when the lo no longer wants to reciprocate the limmernets drives. The drive towards coherence and authenticity is still extremely difficult for the the limmerent who still craves for the lo and ‘can’t let go”-I speak from experience.
Great work citing clinical literature instead of just ‘talk’.
I can understand your points and from my experience with limerence, my behavior was out of pure ignorance. The men I liked had options, and always had a tougher mental state than I had. They didn’t see me through rose colored lenses and always were careful about what they’d give me. Alternatively, I was raised to have an open heart and open behavior. Even when I’d see physical flaws, and behaviors that weren’t great with them, I’d choose to override my negative feelings because I wanted to believe that things were meant to be. I was desperate to be loved by a certain kind of person. I think many people who experience limerence have an immature mind.
Yes! They have immature defenses and immature coping mechanisms. Definitely a regressive state.
The new way to capitalise on Limerence - "The twin flame journey". Relationship's need to be mutually experienced in the physical realm as well.
Your limerent object is not a fucking runner
Totally agree. There is a lot of nonsense about this new-age silliness.
But there are limerent relationships that do manifest in physical world, as there are twin flame connections that manifest in physical world. I totally agree that the hostile takeover of “twin flame” connections has gotten out of control. But the true essence of twin flame journey is just what she described here - coming into wholeness with oneself. I actually think it would be fascinating to do more exploration into the connections of twin flame flame journeys and limerence. I think it would be even more fascinating to add astrology to the mix and examine the energies between two people that draw them together. I think there are many more commonalities among these topics than meet the eye.
I am a fellow limerence experiencer or suffer. I do struggle with hardships, anxiety, stress, depression, and the human experience. I know the pain. This video was so helpful and insightful. Thanks for sharing this.😊❤️
Thank you for this video and rooting it in actual research!
I developed my own theory based on personal experience with limerence and my life, which is summed up as so (in very crude terms with updated terms from your video):
We are attracted to an LO because there is a lesson we need to learn from the experience of not being able to actually realize the fantasy in our minds.
So basically what you’re saying about that self-expansion! It’s an opportunity to observe oneself through the stages of this psychosomatic journey and learn why we are attracted to/fantasize about those specific LOs as a tool of self-awareness. It’s never about them to begin with, but it takes great mindfulness to recognize this.
For me, it happened when I was actually able to develop a relationship with an LO and be severely disappointed when they didn’t live up to the fantasy, which make me reconsider the meaning of love and attraction in my mind.
I really like your idea around the person being a lesson for us. That’s kinda how I’ve processed the shame and mistrust in myself that comes from allowing myself to fall into limerence over the years when I otherwise consider myself a self aware and intelligent person.
I’ve leveraged my limerence into self growth! And now, even though that LO isn’t a LO anymore, she is a friend lol and her bf is very friendly to me awwww
It was intense at some points though ! I’m happy I didn’t get stuck at the first level of it
This is an AMAZING video. Ive been thinking about this a lot, and you're the only source who has touched on these ideas in this particular way.
Interestingly, I have a form of limerance even in relationships.
This whole thing about experiening limerance as a way to recognize parts of yourself that you don't have access to/repress is very relatable to me.
Please write/post more about these ideas if you can!
I believe you’d have the predisposition/ constitution. Also it’s an imaginary friend you develop in order to feel loved when there’s neglect in your family. Where development was supposed to happen. Instead of developing we had to put our attention outward onto this unspoken dilemma. Whenever I experience limerence, I have a meeting with my inner child to find out what’s being neglected. Getting to that root makes it go away. The reason it has that expansion quality is because of the love chemistry that’s a drug. The growth comes from when you pull back to recognizing you are self neglecting in the first place. Or something you were looking for that you needed and maybe some of those qualities you projected onto your LO. That quote about the crack is where the light gets in specially seems to relate to this as well as trauma.
kind of amazing, to reflect on Eros and life force...as my excruciating limerance happened while grieving for one of my parents.
Limerance, to the damaged person, feels like love for painfully obvious reasons. Love is not rational nor is limerence. No one has ever planned to fall into love. Nor has anyone "rose" into love. There is always the idea of "falling". And both truly falling love and descending into limerence have the idea of the fall. The total loss of control. It's impossible to discern to the limerant person. So unfortunate. For me, it took 50+ years to identify, acknowledge, and resolve. I literally can be "hooked" for decade easily. I still have echoes of someone I encountered in 2016. I'm much better today as I have realized everything for which I am looking is intrinsically in me....already. What I see and am attracted in others is actually...ME. Like I said, it took a long time. For me, after reorienting and reorganizing my internal operating system, limerent encounters were actually a journey to find out who I really am. I was just pointed in the wrong direction.
To seek outwardly for divine union instead of finding it inwardly, where it actually can be found.
I thought I needed the Lo for closure, I didn't. I needed to fully detach and give myself the unmet needs/acceptance "love" that the Lo in my mind had provided. When we met, I was depressed and didn't even think they could like me but they did for whatever reason at the time. I made a list of all the pros and cons of the connection or lack thereof. There were more cons that helped me too see the reality of things. What kept me stuck is blaming myself... if I'd been a better person they'd stick around. They were in and out of my life. (A lot of broken promises from that person and emotional immaturity). More recently, being more self-compassionate and being treated better by other people helped me heal too. I let go fully and the Lo came back around as a test. It triggered me. I don't plan to reconnect because I always deserved better from myself and others. 👑
This is a fantastic video; my analytical brain is always in problem solving mode - limerence is not solvable via logic. This video teaches how to USE limerence to find one’s authenticity. I’ve never heard this perspective. My sincere thanks to you, Adele Deriquito LCPC! 🙏
Wow! Thank you. ❤️
I just wanted to say that this is a fantastic video.
Yes, I was so lonely when I met my two L.O.s in two consecutive years Dec2021-May2022 and Feb2023-Feb2024. I just needed someone to see me. But all that is "fixed". I am home in myself now. Thank you Jessica (2021) and Jay Ar (2023). I hope both your tribes prosper.
hm so how do you think love is then? now that you found peace.
Really good explanation of my “twin flame” experience. I am a better/healthier me because of it.
A lot of people's twin flame is their limerent object!
From my experience your work seems spot on. Really grateful for the healing journey my limerence set me on. I'm good now.
A brilliant post and, for me, very timely. Thank you for this. You go through degrees of limerence to the extent that you understand what is happening. I have actually had many conversations and experiences with my LO. However, she has repeatedly rebuffed the chances to add more emotional and physical intimacy to our relationship. In addition, she knows that I love her and I am very, mindful of our boundaries. This is timely because many aspects have been creative and developmental for me. Having had some limerence in the past, I understood what I was getting into. There is also synchronicity in these events. As a result of this relationship, I have experienced more heart-opening; I work hard, I create art, I write, and I have returned to playing my guitar, which I gave up during a very stormy divorce and MDD. So, I am grateful for all that has happened. I especially note that men and women like to be around me and that I love myself more than I ever have.
I am ready to let go and change my daily practices to be more open to the needed relationships.
You fall in love with someone out of your league and find new insecurities you weren’t aware you had. You feel bad about yourself and you need a reciprocation =validation from that person. You don’t receive it , you begin with your self searching, you grow. As more you cling onto your LO, the faster they run. What makes you want them even more. All normal human behavior.
that's all i know of love: a delusion
I've been limerent for almost one year now, seen this person only 3 times. I think it's because I had the most intense kundalini activation of my life, on our first meeting, it was like meeting God. (I know it sounds insane, but he is a very spiritual person, who had done energy work). I became super depressed afterwards, since he became 'busy' and had all of these excuses why 'we' wouldn't work. I tried to move on, cut all contact. Dated someone else in the main time, but that also didn't work out, since my heart is still with the spiritual guy. I dont know if I gave a part of myself away, or did that he took it away from me? I'm intrigued by him and scared at the same time. I haven't been myself since. Talking to other people also doesn't help, because no one truly understands.
Is there a way for you to give this “God-like” experience to yourself? Can you command and call back your power from him? Maybe it’s just your perception of the experience and he was just an Angel to show you your true potential that you could give yourself. He’s not that special. He’s just a human like the rest of us.
@@hayleysterling3598Thank you! Yes, I would like to know what that was exactly what I experienced.. He also said to me on the phone that it wasn't 'him' that I felt: it was something greater then that/something greater than us. And that you can have that with many other people. (Which I didn't believe when he said that, I thought this is what happens when you meet your soulmate.. )
So yes, I can see what you mean, I just don't know yet how.. HOW I could give that to myself..?
@@ruci I'm almost certain, 99%, that he's not a drug user. It's something in the energy.
...hmmm.... Spiritual guy who fed on the energy you both created, and then left you high and dry w no explanation!
The thing with Kundalini energy, is that it is a cocktail of good chemistry your own brain creates. So yes, technically it's a natural high. And technically, there. Be a come down!
This kind of goes into doing drugs responsibly
And integrity in spiritual work and practices
And into gurus and spiritual teachers!
Trust this helps someone.
Much Love
I can relate to the kundalini experience. I had this once for a LO, felt like all of my chakra centers opened up. Could feel energy from the heart to the head to my genitalia, a warm energy that surged through these areas via the spine. I’ve always tried to understand what it was but it doesn’t make sense at all and is super confusing. I never know when I have a crush or a LO these days because of the intensity I feel
honestly this video title is so profound!
This was really a thoughtful and insightful presentation- never heard limerence broken down this way- I felt this- but never knew it was backed up with research.
New sub. Thank you so much 💗
With deepest gratitude from Bermuda 😊
could we have limerence towards are abusive toxic families who don't love us back, yet we still stay aside from repetition compulsion and trauma bonding, but when we know for a fact the abuse, we receive how could we love those who truly dont love us back some kind of delusion must be taking place regardless of them being our parents or family
especially with all the hurt pain resentment , is it possible what we think is love we feel for our abusers it might just be limerence ?
I think it's more so of you feeling a sense of compassion.
Yes.
Im appreciating the thoughtfulness you've put into this. I am curious about the research paper and video clip you have referenced. Would you please share those? I would like to educate myself through those as well. Thank You.
Thank you so much for this vido, it clarified so many things I was wondering about
Glad it was helpful!
Also an MA in counseling from Northwestern here!
This is an interesting perspective on limerence!
your closing thoughts remind me of jung’s idea for the individuation process
Wow, this lecture explains so and makes complete sense of some of my past experiences. Thank you for the brilliant and intelligent and super interesting insights!
I heard you say “feminological” several times, and was unsure if that was intended or if you meant “phenomenological.” Was confused about whether I should be thinking about what you’re saying in the context of feminism or of phenomenology.
I had a really difficult time saying the word lol apologizes for the confusion. it's phenomenological.
the voiceover transition is a little bumpy. the study is very interesting and well presented
do you include Jung's anima/us stages?
Thank you, that is the recurring piece of feedback I've received about the VO (I was getting a little too experimental lol).
I’m familiar with the Anima/Animus, but not the four stages..looking into this. It is very interesting. If you have any recommended readings on these stages, I’d greatly appreciate it!
@@reflectionswithadelle afaik there are only the few pages Jung actually wrote.
Physical Power, Planned Action, the Word, Spiritual Power.
Eve Helen Mary Sophia.
if you're limerent to an archetype are you trying to become that stage in yourself?
I'm looking more into this. Everyone keeps bringing up Jung. And I love his work, but trying to condense it all may be challenging. Thank you for sharing!
My therapist told me she has limerence for people then 3 months into our sessions she told me that she loves me and that I am her favourite patient.. why would she say this to me? This has made me somewhat uncomfortable to be around her, should I stop seeing her?
Yes you should stop seeing them, that's unprofessional and dangerous. It doesn't matter how they feel, it's an abuse of position and high risk to your treatment.
Edit: did you mean in love or love having you as a patient? Either way your comfort should take priority in your treatment.
@@m3ntyb after something I said had amused her she threw her head back and said “I love you you’re my favourite patient” she said this to me twice on 2 separate occasions, something feels eerie about it like she’s saying these things to try and get me to love her back..
@@m3ntyb I’ve already told her that she looks a lot like my ex boyfriend (who was trans) and something lit up in her eyes when I told her this.. she asked me why I fell for him and I told her it’s because he said that he loved me.. so her having this knowledge and then telling me “she loves me” just feels like a weird manipulation to me and I can’t fully trust her now.
@@m3ntyb I’ve told her that I desperately want to get married and have a family but she tells me things like marriage isn’t that great she told me she got married one year older than I was and now she’s divorced and her husband is attempting to sue her for one million dollars, this is making me rethink life and my personal goals because I don’t want to end up in her situation.
@@meganbaute4254 it sounds like a lot of boundaries are being crossed with how much she is sharing about her personal life and giving you suggestions. You should probably just trust your instincts and abandon. Ask the place to give you a referral (not them), and don't allow guilt about being a "bad person" for moving on. There are other therapists out there, don't settle for one that feels familiar and you have a bond with just because you need support. That's exactly how you might end up in a bad relationship.
thank u so much for that
Feminological! (Thats going straight in my lexicon)
I had a REALLY hard time saying that word lol I probably had to shoot it ten times..still didn't work out. Thanks for pointing that out. 🥲
I felt alive!!!!
Thank you for sharing this information great video 👏👏👏
I pray people experiencing this snap out of it . People are dying because of this .
How are they dying?
the high and lows of limmerence do not compare to the highs and lows of highschool football.
Jk great video, it really helped my self reflection :)
Wow your knowledge enlightened me ❤
great video, thanks 🙏🏾
i like how you started reading and the voiceover finishes! cool effect
Limerance is shadow work
you have opened a window
thank you
Very interesting perspectives, thank you!
What's the research paper called? Whats the citation thanks
She provided the links in the description
I'm really interested in the topic and your take on it, but you use very difficult words that make it hard for me to understand properly. I wish you could use simpler language. Thank you for the video❤🙏🏼
I can't connect the dots here but I'm not familiar with the subjects and technical jargon, so it's probably me.
Hey, I am writing a novel about this ight now 👀
I'd love to read it!!
I wonder if there is a difference in occurrence in the asexual aromantic population compared to the general population.
Actually, I am very interested in this topic to see the parallels. Maybe when more research comes out I can do a video on this. Thank you!!!
Very good
Thank you!
Doesn’t falling into limerence feel like imprinting on someone, like in the Twilight books? You see your LO for the first time and are immediately and inexorably whisked, against your will, into your own personal world of tragedy and fantasy.
I love the twilight series and I would definitely agree with that.
Wow! And you like this?
Fen-ah-men-oh-law-gi-cawl… Phenomenological.
hahahah thanks. I really tried.
Trying so hard to be normal about this crush
Why is being true to others about ridding yourself of these feelings?
Because if the person is not returning the same romantic feelings in real life outside of your mind , you are adding them to a lie and that's not fair
Because of that you need to tap more into reality and release your obsessive feelings.
Well put!
Regardless of how someone else feels, I’ll… feel what I feel.
Being true to others is about… what??
I apologize but your speech phrasing is simply horrible... It seems you cut the movie after each word spoken sounding more like AI rather than a real human being. I literally couldn't focus to the meaning of the phrases because the speech was so slow and words cut as if coming out of a wood chopper. As for the essence, is disappointing because there is something good in there but boy you get lost in terminology and there's little substance. With a more natural speech flow and some easiness in the way you're talking + a better preparation and connaissance of the topic you'll do better next time, I am sure
Thanks for the feedback. I am super new to filming, editing, etc. I spend a lot of time on the videos and feedback like this can definitely help me do better on the next one.
@@reflectionswithadellemy own personal feedback is that you sound very conversational which is pleasant to my brain
Deep covers
Reciprocity
This reminds me what cognitive dissonance does with pseudo science
Kinda have some recent experience with this. Where my LO in a sense, inspired me to do things i was putting off or needed to do, as if it was to prepare for being with them. Though i knew my chance were low and the signs showed it. I think my LO woke me up from my stagnation. Made me find interest in the world through her perspective. I think in mtime my feelings for her may fade. I feel like i view them more grounded now and realize they prb wouldnt be a good partner haha tbh neither would i at this moment, but i think thats the point. Instill have ra lot of room to grow. This was both painful and lovely and confusion as an experience, but view it was something within trying to tell you to.wakw.up