I love the transition from "I saved people from potentially getting killed by rendering a loaded howitzer safe" to "oNe TimE I shAt MYseLf wHeN I snEeZed"
I once asked a vet about their experience in Desert Storm and they went on to describe eating lots of cheese so they wouldn't have to shit as often because the Porta potties were so terrible and then talked about shitting over a hole because it was too hot in the Porta potties
"Hey that bombs armed" "You're not supposed to touch that" "What if it would've gone off, and people in my workplace died" "You're not supposed to touch this"
I would of went off and chewed them both out about being bad at their jobs for not having someone clear the howitzers. I would still get my ass reamed but damn would it feel good. If I was lucky they might even put me back in anger management! -zach, probably.
LOL so Agent 47 loaded the blanks? I love it. Wouldn't that be an interesting Hitman mode? Agent 47 has setup a trap(s) and you have to find it before it goes off and kill his target(s), that you must protect.
pal1d1nl1ght Do NOT ask that question, because the next thing you know: Folk Polk will be burned to the ground, and new flag of the city-state Zachlantis will rise from the ashes where it was. I’d also say the military bureaucracy will be wiped out, but Zach and Mike have probably already done that three or so times to the NCR or similar factions. 🤣
Once again, several wrongful death suits and manslaughter charges were avoided thanks to Zack. This angered the military bureaucracy who punished him severely.
I’ve coughed hard enough to crack my ribs. I was really happy they weren’t broken. They later broke when my gym teacher ignored my doctors note and forced me to play kickball, where I was promptly hit in the stomach by a kickball going roughly too fucking fast.
Hmmm is it possible to refuse, and when they send you to the principal's office, explain to him the stupidity and reckless endangerment of the gym teacher's demands?
So, adding to this far later; the gym teacher still has her job despite almost every student and parent complaining to the school board about her actions. She is also not allowed to even look at anyone who isn't a freshman nor is she allowed to teach them. As for suing, the school I went to protected her throughout all of this, they actually fired the broadcasting teacher instead because she had kids help with cleaning equipment
@@christophersmith8848pretty much like experiencing extreme absurdity from leader figures or bureaucracy. His story "The Trial" is about a man who wakes up 1 morning to find that he has been arrested. The man keeps trying to figure out his crime but never once is told what he did wrong.
Everytime I watch one of these videos I realize just how much Zach deserves to have more joy than most. He's gone through so much bullshit but remains a genuinely funny guy. Thanks for another couple of great stories!
Wow, those people with the howitzers are completely dumb. That is just irresponsible... Sneezing hard? Yeah, I know that, my neighbours complained before, those one floor above and to the side, not even directly connected to my flat!
I think they knew they fucked up but just can't stand being told off by someone beneath their rank so they still screamed at him anyways to make themselves feel better
Zach thank you for keeping people safe (despite making your own cannon with a bucket of gunpowder), lord knows what would have happened if that gun fired with a loaded round, and for dealing with years of hell keeping things maintained while also gritting your teeth about superiors. Thank you for being the person who cared just enough to act and being able to take on this mountain of dung the military gave you.
5:00 With every single story Zach tells, I like how the military and closely-tied government organizations work less and less. Got no problem with the soldiers themselves, but at this stage I would gladly call even an on-base, never saw Combat worker a veteran because they were able to put up with that crap.
I worked in privatized housing for just shy of 10 years I was almost close enough to be considered in the military I dealt with all of the ceremonies we always had events we had to go to you had to address officers by the correct rank and let me tell you. I love our soldiers in appreciate everything they do God I hate the military most of them are the biggest f****** I have run across I got an emergency call one night to fix a dishwasher because the wife of a one-star general had to do her dishes at 3:00 in the morning
Chulio R. Chulio if you become an armorer, you then at least also have a potential civilian employment option, and the ability to sleep. Though if the NGSW trials succeed, I would recommend knowing a good therapist.
I *guarantee* if you hadn't unloaded them and someone fired it would be "why didn't you check the Howitzer, *Zach?* Half the bay has ruptured eardrums, *Zach!* "
When my appendix ruptured my mom stood next to me the whole time telling me "You better not be faking" even while they were puting me under for surgery
same appendix thing happened to me, my mom let me be sick for weeks and the doc said I had maybe 5 days left befor a rupture would have happened. Take care of you're kids folks.
In the first story, i think they knew that it was wrong and dangerous yet they stuck to their own egos and used the logical fallacy to chew Zach instead.
When my appendix ruptured I spend 3 days incapacitated on my floor before going to the hospital, had to have an emergency surgery and later spent 18 days stuck in the hospital.
One thing I learned in the Army, is if you get mad enough, they’ll usually drop it. As a cook, one time we had an officer set down a 5 gal fuel jug next to an MBU (basically a moveable stove) while it was running I told him that he needed to move it, he said “You don’t get to order me around.” Or some shit like that. I lost it and screamed “If you want to fucking die, my gun is right there, but don’t set this fucking place on fire while the rest of us are in here!!!” The fuel can was moved, no shit came my way out of that. Sometimes people have their heads so far up their ass, that you need to scream for them to hear how stupid they are being.
4:50 “You are telling, me the Armourer responsible for all the small arms within my work area, that I should NOT be making sure that the weapons left in MY area whilst teaching STUDENTS are LOADED or not? To be making sure, you are formally telling me to leave ACTIVE WEAPONS IN A WORKSHOP WITH STUDENTS WHICH COULD LEAVE PERMANENT DAMAGE!”
The "Military" at this point: Yes, yes we are, for you don't have enough permission to do such a thing as fixing it! Zach: Okay then... Then who?! The "Military": The current commander of this Base. Zach *while rubbing & pinching his forehead* : You mean the guy who has his dick out and is currently drunk in the corner of the Work Area? The "Military": ............... ummm...... yes? I think? Everyone else like Zach: uuuuugggghhhh!!!!
And they just respond with "you weren't supposed to touch those". It's like trying to reason with a brick wall, but also there's a guy throwing cups at your head from the top of the wall because he thinks he's the king.
This story just goes to prove how little military members really know how to handle guns vs CC civilians. ANYONE who own firearms responsibly as a civilian could tell you the rules of guns safety as is required to know before purchasing or carrying. Predominately the two rules about treating all guns as if they are loaded and checking all firearms for chambered ammunition before handling them.
There is a reason my dad made us ensure a weapon was cleared and safe before we did anything with it. It is a very good habit to get into when dealing with any sort of firearm. Magazine removed, chamber cleared, safety on.
He saves several soldiers from getting their heads blown clean off due to someone leaving live rounds chambered in the cannons, but by god he touched them and that's unacceptable! 🙄
Man you know your healthcare’s bad when you’re like “My appendix may have ruptured, but I can’t afford it, so I’m gonna wait it out until it goes away or I die.” people really be arguing for having to pay to not die in the replies.
4 years ago jeesh. When I first listened I didn't have much experience working. Randomly came across this tonight after several weeks dealing with other people's BS at work and being blamed for it and having to do more cause of it, and talking to my own boss about something and him completely ignoring my concerns because I didn't do something exactly the way they want it done. Kind of blows my mind how it seems not long ago I was younger looking up to you guys just enjoying both of your many stories about life, but now today I'm older and able to relate much more to one. Although my Manager was polite when he basically just wasted my time saying nothing of value, instead of chewing me out like an army officer. Mike, I really admire your optimism even if I relate more to Zach's occasional pessimism, love both of you guys keep up the good work.
It's worth remembering that after the Vietnam war, where we lost to geurilla tactics, higher ups were embarrassed of the lost and removed geurilla tactics from the training regiment for (I think) 6+ years after the war ended
You know, these campfire stories stuff is really great in the background while working or doing something else, it's like easy to digest and listen to, you get a few chuckles out of it, it does not distract you. this is such a winning formula, I'm loving this
I relate so hard to that howitzer story. Sometimes when people are idiots they want to just punish you for fixing their error because they would rather be stupid and get someone else hurt and/or killed if something goes wrong because of it, but for some reason they'd rather it be that way.
Me: Yeah, this Video seems interesting enou- the guy at 0:11 in the background: *_exists_* Me: WELP, I GUESS THIS RANDOM NPC NOW HAS MY ENTIRE ATTENTION!
The howitzer story tells a pretty frightening tale about military procedures over common sense. I get the need for a rigorous system of rules when you deal with so much personnel and whathaveyou. But....... you know.
I just found you guys and that appendix story reminded me of when I was 16. I was staying at my dads and his then girlfriend’s house. I started feeling sick at 9pm basically stayed up all night laying in the bathroom clenching my stomach and praying to the purslane god. My dad had enough of hearing me throwing up at 5am to take me to the hospital. Just in time before it ruptured. American healthcare is terrible.
That apendix story reminds me of something that happened to me. We're on vacation in spain (i'm belgian, europe wise it's pretty close and one of the more "cheaper" european destinations) and what they tell you is, "don't drink the tap water, it isn't propperly treated." I'm like ok, bottled water it is. Night time comes on day three of my vacation, i'm brushing my teeth. I'm done, the idiot that i am, out of reflex i rinse my brush with (you guessed it) tap water. Next night i brush my teeth and go to bed. Morning comes, i open my eyes *half my fucking mouth is on fire.* I'm litterally in agony, i can't eat, i can't drink, i can't sleep. I begged my parents _"Please, allow me to go to the hospital, they probably deal with this thing all the time, _*_PLEASE_*_ i'm in an incredible ammount of pain"_ My dad said _"Stop over reacting, you probaly have heat stroke or something, it will wear off"_ I spent 5 more days like this in spain, every moment was torture and i only got some sleep because i litterally fell uncauncious every night cramming pain pills inside of me. (Mom is a walking medicine cabinet) Then i got home (oh yeah we rode by *BUS* by the way so the trip took a day and a half), contacted my dentist and i had to wait *3* more days before i could go there. (Listen she's the best and well worth the wait compared to other dentists around here, i'm talking about you, "the butcher") She too X rays and she said that we imidiatly have to go to work. Aparently i had a bacteria in my jaw *that was eating away everything.* She spent *4 hours* basically drilling my entire jaw open and flushing it out. I was concious for the entire thing by the way, you guys in the states can get knocked out, over here you get a local anesthetic and you better like it boyo. But i didn't care, i was without pain for the first time in like a week. She told me she only heard about this kinda thing in med school and that it normally happens in like south america. I told my parents this, they didn't believe me, i told them to contact the damn dentist. She explained everything, and suddenly it was all super "concern and hugs." Next time i have pain, i'm ignoring their asses and just head to the hospital.
Had my appendix explode in the sixth grade. I stand to be one of the weirdest medical miracle. It had wrapped around my intestine. Formed a wall around itself (essentially a second appendix) Then exploded. It had ruptured TWO WEEKS before I was hospitalized. Dr at the time told me it was the stomach flu. I got in a cat scan (think that's what that weird orange drink was for) then I remember the doctors rushing me out, putting me on an ivy and I apperently had no time so they drilled into my appendix and drained it. Followed by a fuckton of morphine. A 48 hour surgery. And 3 more weeks of recovery and movies in the hospital I was released and went from 200lbs to 92. Either God wanted me to live or Deaths ruth goldberg machine made from my organs was a poor design.
my dad was in the army and now all his medical oes through the VA. last year his apendix burst and he did not realise that that was the cause of his pain. he thought it was a kidney stone. well a week later he went to the hospital and found out how lucky he was that he did not die. then the va tried to say that they did not have to pay because it was not a emergency.
An appendix removal and the care taking in the hospital and all the other stuff involved costs between 4000 and 64000 Euros in Germany, but only if you are like from the USA and have no insurance, a german doesn't have to pay even 1 cent, but he can if he want even better treatment.
I remember one time when I was so sick, I threw up so hard that I crapped myself at the same time. And that's another reason why I never want to go to Florida again-EVER!
yeah sneezing can break bones, like a couple years ago i sneezed so hard i broke my sternum. Took like a year to fully heal up from that. That was fun.
In regards to the appendix/blockage in gut thing, I've experienced the exact same thing strangely enough. It was such intense pain that I couldn't even move my lower body without feeling like I was being drawn and quartered and it was all from some piece of crap stuck in my intestines...
I probably would've said: "I didnt disobey your orders, I saved you from a headache, both figuratively ad literally." And explain the issue. General safety outranks everone.
Oh man, I remember getting appendicitis. What a goddamn nightmare. It's surprising how much the pain level seems to differ from person to person. Some people say it was like a moderate stomach ache that kept persisting, but for me, it was literally the worst pain I've ever felt in my life so far. I've sliced the tip of my finger in half with a model knife on accident before, and that was more tolerable. The appendicitis sent waves of pain throughout my entire body. I never had writhed helplessly from pain before, or had been in so much pain that I vomited, but appendicitis introduced me to that. By the time I got to the emergency room, they had to inject me with morphine THREE DIFFERENT TIMES, because the pain just didn't want to screw off. My nerve endings: suffering from success I guess. Thanks for at least letting me know something was wrong
I've sneezed so hard that I shat my britches too. It was very early in the morning, I was the only one awake because it was a school night and everybody else didn't have to do anything that day, I let out the hardest and loudest sneeze I've ever had, so much so that I shart in my asscurtains. I didn't want to tell anyone about this so I threw my underwear into the trashbin outside and bury them under a garbage bag, then I take a shower, get dressed, go to school and I've never told anyone about this until this day. Sneezes can be horrifying, if not for the potential of shitting yourself in private or in public, then definitely for the potential of breaking your ribs or suffering a heart attack.
I love the transition from "I saved people from potentially getting killed by rendering a loaded howitzer safe" to "oNe TimE I shAt MYseLf wHeN I snEeZed"
The Duality of man :D
Both is about a violent accidental discharge/explosion. Where is your problem? 😂
I once asked a vet about their experience in Desert Storm and they went on to describe eating lots of cheese so they wouldn't have to shit as often because the Porta potties were so terrible and then talked about shitting over a hole because it was too hot in the Porta potties
@@arthas640 Anyone ever try gluing the hole?
"Hey that bombs armed"
"You're not supposed to touch that"
"What if it would've gone off, and people in my workplace died"
"You're not supposed to touch this"
But sir it could collapse the whole building-
"DID I FUCKING STUTTER"
@@tristonmurdock4586 "DID I FUCKEN STUTTER, PRIVATE?"
Lol
Fucking Skyrim NPCs. "YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE IN HERE"
I would of went off and chewed them both out about being bad at their jobs for not having someone clear the howitzers. I would still get my ass reamed but damn would it feel good. If I was lucky they might even put me back in anger management! -zach, probably.
at that point, i would just assume he's an undercover terrorist
That first story sounds like Zach interrupted one of Agent 47's plans. Watch out for a bald guy next time.
LOL so Agent 47 loaded the blanks? I love it.
Wouldn't that be an interesting Hitman mode? Agent 47 has setup a trap(s) and you have to find it before it goes off and kill his target(s), that you must protect.
I mean everyone in the military has reaaally short hair, so might be a moment.
i just imagine a corrupt general inspecting those howitzers and getting his face blown off then
"good job 47"
@@warbird333 maaaaan, a security vs hitman mode would be amazing!
@@antekknapek4635 "Good work, 47. Proceed to the nearest exit."
I can’t believe Zack! Not only did he gauge weapons for the enemy, he was tampering with friendly artillery!
How far will he go??
pal1d1nl1ght Do NOT ask that question, because the next thing you know: Folk Polk will be burned to the ground, and new flag of the city-state Zachlantis will rise from the ashes where it was.
I’d also say the military bureaucracy will be wiped out, but Zach and Mike have probably already done that three or so times to the NCR or similar factions. 🤣
@@justin2308 Zach is too lazy to burn down Fort Polk but he would probably be overjoyed to hear the news
Whoever is in charge of the military should spank him
_No not zack!_
A classic case of "you found a problem so now it's your fault ".
Story of my life
No, they just were mad he solved it.
(Me asks for advice for when I want to go in the military)
Zach: “uh don’t.”
Draft: Ding dong your opinion is wrong.
that's the whole point of these fucking military stories, dude. There is no glory in it.
*agrees in service member*
@@walnzell9328 Good thing a draft will literally never happen, because it didn't even go well the last time it was tried during Vietnam.
LordVader1094 The GOP would like to have a word with you.
Once again, several wrongful death suits and manslaughter charges were avoided thanks to Zack.
This angered the military bureaucracy who punished him severely.
Is that a reference to oversimplified?
Dude....uncool.
Dude he wasn't supposed to touch the howitzer
@@martinvargas9624 They weren't supposed to leave a chambered fucking CANON in the area where they knew civies would be.
Rafa Vargas It’s called OH&S.
I’ve coughed hard enough to crack my ribs. I was really happy they weren’t broken. They later broke when my gym teacher ignored my doctors note and forced me to play kickball, where I was promptly hit in the stomach by a kickball going roughly too fucking fast.
Sue him for involuntary manslaughter and abuse of authority
Yeah, please sue that gym teacher. Personal injury, pain and suffering wreckless endangerment
Gym Teachers = Apparently anyone at Fort Polk except those guys at anger management.
Hmmm is it possible to refuse, and when they send you to the principal's office, explain to him the stupidity and reckless endangerment of the gym teacher's demands?
So, adding to this far later; the gym teacher still has her job despite almost every student and parent complaining to the school board about her actions. She is also not allowed to even look at anyone who isn't a freshman nor is she allowed to teach them. As for suing, the school I went to protected her throughout all of this, they actually fired the broadcasting teacher instead because she had kids help with cleaning equipment
A lot of Zach's military stories really help you understand the meaning of "Kafkaesque".
"yeah... totally 'Kafkaesque... MAJORLY."
Eh?
*Kaf·ka·esque*
/ˌkäfkəˈesk/
adjective
characteristic or reminiscent of the oppressive or nightmarish qualities of Franz Kafka's fictional world
@@Ghostrecall_Mthat definition is so very not helpful lol
@@christophersmith8848pretty much like experiencing extreme absurdity from leader figures or bureaucracy.
His story "The Trial" is about a man who wakes up 1 morning to find that he has been arrested. The man keeps trying to figure out his crime but never once is told what he did wrong.
Everytime I watch one of these videos I realize just how much Zach deserves to have more joy than most.
He's gone through so much bullshit but remains a genuinely funny guy.
Thanks for another couple of great stories!
Wow, those people with the howitzers are completely dumb. That is just irresponsible...
Sneezing hard? Yeah, I know that, my neighbours complained before, those one floor above and to the side, not even directly connected to my flat!
After hearing that howitzer story, I could imagine anyone would be done working in the military if that's the response you get.
I think they knew they fucked up but just can't stand being told off by someone beneath their rank so they still screamed at him anyways to make themselves feel better
no one:
legion explorer in the backround : 🏃
Lol I was wondering who that was.
@@ArgentDeer thats alternative universe mike
What cat?
1:56
Zach thank you for keeping people safe (despite making your own cannon with a bucket of gunpowder), lord knows what would have happened if that gun fired with a loaded round, and for dealing with years of hell keeping things maintained while also gritting your teeth about superiors. Thank you for being the person who cared just enough to act and being able to take on this mountain of dung the military gave you.
Forgot about that thing... what if he put the whole bucket
5:00 With every single story Zach tells, I like how the military and closely-tied government organizations work less and less. Got no problem with the soldiers themselves, but at this stage I would gladly call even an on-base, never saw Combat worker a veteran because they were able to put up with that crap.
welcome to the us military, where insane bureaucracy kills any hope of a good career
Vets are people who served and got out not just those who saw combat that's a combat vet
I worked in privatized housing for just shy of 10 years I was almost close enough to be considered in the military I dealt with all of the ceremonies we always had events we had to go to you had to address officers by the correct rank and let me tell you. I love our soldiers in appreciate everything they do God I hate the military most of them are the biggest f****** I have run across I got an emergency call one night to fix a dishwasher because the wife of a one-star general had to do her dishes at 3:00 in the morning
I joined the army recently and i fear Turning into zach
Do not become the armourer aka the guy fixing all the weapons cause that is a surefire way of getting yourself in trouble according to Zach
You will but kudos for being in the military
Chulio R. Chulio if you become an armorer, you then at least also have a potential civilian employment option, and the ability to sleep. Though if the NGSW trials succeed, I would recommend knowing a good therapist.
Pray to god you don't get sent to Fort Polk.
The Atomic Cherry that’s implied.
I *guarantee* if you hadn't unloaded them and someone fired it would be "why didn't you check the Howitzer, *Zach?* Half the bay has ruptured eardrums, *Zach!* "
Yep sounds about right
The army only learns if someone get hurt or die, the army do not learn from fixing the problem...
Oh but don't worry, he still would have been reprimanded for having left an unsafe weapon in his work area.
@@comingupooo I can't believe Mr Universe himself watches Mike and Zach too!
You're assuming they learn even from that.
A majority of the US budget goes to the military. They only care about looking strong. Not being.
whats with the legionaries running around in the background?
That was Legion Mike trying to get back into the series.
@@HereticalKitsune Was Legion Mike a pre-war thing or a pre-pre-war thing?
The Legion declared war on the ants not long ago. Those Legionaries are assaulting one of the main ant nests in the dry lake.
foreshadowing
something?
Legionarie=Mysterious stranger 1:57
Mike: always interrupts Zach's stories with little jokes
Zach: does it once
Mike: how dare you
I see that legion spies are also interested in these stories as us
Mr Anonymous haa yup
I can feel the anger of every ammo handler and armorer I have ever dealt with in my military time after listening to this.
When my appendix ruptured my mom stood next to me the whole time telling me "You better not be faking" even while they were puting me under for surgery
Did you know how much it costs?
Oh lord, I regret getting an ambulance ride when I had a kidney stone as a child
@@Okuni_ our insurance covered most of it. My mom just really didn't believe me because I was a little bastard some times
same appendix thing happened to me, my mom let me be sick for weeks and the doc said I had maybe 5 days left befor a rupture would have happened. Take care of you're kids folks.
I ruptured my appendix and I can't afford to survive the sepsis!
And other American horror stories.
In the first story, i think they knew that it was wrong and dangerous yet they stuck to their own egos and used the logical fallacy to chew Zach instead.
When my appendix ruptured I spend 3 days incapacitated on my floor before going to the hospital, had to have an emergency surgery and later spent 18 days stuck in the hospital.
I could honestly listen to these two talk all day
I would love to see this as an 30min to hour long podcast
Arthur you Zach have something in common you both get yelled at when you try to help your boss.
Missed the and.
Mr. Tux you are speaking true FACTS
One thing I learned in the Army, is if you get mad enough, they’ll usually drop it.
As a cook, one time we had an officer set down a 5 gal fuel jug next to an MBU (basically a moveable stove) while it was running I told him that he needed to move it, he said “You don’t get to order me around.” Or some shit like that. I lost it and screamed “If you want to fucking die, my gun is right there, but don’t set this fucking place on fire while the rest of us are in here!!!”
The fuel can was moved, no shit came my way out of that. Sometimes people have their heads so far up their ass, that you need to scream for them to hear how stupid they are being.
Well this definitely didn't work with Zack and his cabinets lmao
Though he got in way less trouble than he should have
@@Treyman-yi7ei anger management is CoCs way of saying they are slightly afraid.
4:50 “You are telling, me the Armourer responsible for all the small arms within my work area, that I should NOT be making sure that the weapons left in MY area whilst teaching STUDENTS are LOADED or not? To be making sure, you are formally telling me to leave ACTIVE WEAPONS IN A WORKSHOP WITH STUDENTS WHICH COULD LEAVE PERMANENT DAMAGE!”
The "Military" at this point: Yes, yes we are, for you don't have enough permission to do such a thing as fixing it!
Zach: Okay then... Then who?!
The "Military": The current commander of this Base.
Zach *while rubbing & pinching his forehead* : You mean the guy who has his dick out and is currently drunk in the corner of the Work Area?
The "Military": ............... ummm...... yes? I think?
Everyone else like Zach: uuuuugggghhhh!!!!
And they just respond with "you weren't supposed to touch those". It's like trying to reason with a brick wall, but also there's a guy throwing cups at your head from the top of the wall because he thinks he's the king.
with the first story I feel like those who were in charge of Zach realised he was right but had to save face
Howitzer story is a textbook case of "there are times, sir, when men of good conscience cannot blindly follow orders."
This story just goes to prove how little military members really know how to handle guns vs CC civilians. ANYONE who own firearms responsibly as a civilian could tell you the rules of guns safety as is required to know before purchasing or carrying. Predominately the two rules about treating all guns as if they are loaded and checking all firearms for chambered ammunition before handling them.
As my grandfather said many time before, there is no such thing as an unloaded gun
Key word being "responsibly"
There is a reason my dad made us ensure a weapon was cleared and safe before we did anything with it. It is a very good habit to get into when dealing with any sort of firearm. Magazine removed, chamber cleared, safety on.
He saves several soldiers from getting their heads blown clean off due to someone leaving live rounds chambered in the cannons, but by god he touched them and that's unacceptable! 🙄
The United States Military: You will die for your country, the odds of it being friendly fire are not to be asked!
I was working on my comic having this playing in the background and when Zach said "i sneezed so hard I S**t myself" I lost it
9:33 a legion guy runs through the shot
So this is the power of the most expensive military in the world.
Man you know your healthcare’s bad when you’re like “My appendix may have ruptured, but I can’t afford it, so I’m gonna wait it out until it goes away or I die.”
people really be arguing for having to pay to not die in the replies.
Im so happy for once to live in Germany
@@derkurier2710 Why don't you like there?
@WoomyBlitz About right.
No it was a small goblin man
@@derkurier2710 How is the German government in any way Orwellian?
Look like someone had someplace to go in the background in the beggining
4 years ago jeesh. When I first listened I didn't have much experience working. Randomly came across this tonight after several weeks dealing with other people's BS at work and being blamed for it and having to do more cause of it, and talking to my own boss about something and him completely ignoring my concerns because I didn't do something exactly the way they want it done. Kind of blows my mind how it seems not long ago I was younger looking up to you guys just enjoying both of your many stories about life, but now today I'm older and able to relate much more to one. Although my Manager was polite when he basically just wasted my time saying nothing of value, instead of chewing me out like an army officer. Mike, I really admire your optimism even if I relate more to Zach's occasional pessimism, love both of you guys keep up the good work.
Can't believe Zach would clear those howitzers, how are the casualties going to increase if dumb mistakes aren't made?
It's worth remembering that after the Vietnam war, where we lost to geurilla tactics, higher ups were embarrassed of the lost and removed geurilla tactics from the training regiment for (I think) 6+ years after the war ended
You know, these campfire stories stuff is really great in the background while working or doing something else, it's like easy to digest and listen to, you get a few chuckles out of it, it does not distract you. this is such a winning formula, I'm loving this
I relate so hard to that howitzer story. Sometimes when people are idiots they want to just punish you for fixing their error because they would rather be stupid and get someone else hurt and/or killed if something goes wrong because of it, but for some reason they'd rather it be that way.
this is one of those stories that give a reason why everyone, including civies, hate military officers.
except my bro, he's very competent.
Zach: Better check to make sure these howitzers are clear so they don't kill anyone.
U.S. Army: No good deed goes unpunished.
i love how the first story is essentially, "zack gets in trouble for having to teach military personnel basic gun safety rules"
Best birthday gift I could ever ask for thxs for making quality storytime with zach
This is straight up my new favorite channel. Found out what was wrong with my stomach for the past 2 weeks as well!
Finds unsecured ammunition
*stares at SOP*
Me: Yeah, this Video seems interesting enou-
the guy at 0:11 in the background: *_exists_*
Me: WELP, I GUESS THIS RANDOM NPC NOW HAS MY ENTIRE ATTENTION!
Watching these makes me realize how much I take the nhs for granted thank you zach and mike
This story is an epitome of the military
I love that they're just talking and suddenly an NPC runs to do something in the background.
"Then what could be large arms?"
*brings in a metal gear*
Just found this channel randomly and I am enjoying it so far. Keep up the content!
The howitzer story tells a pretty frightening tale about military procedures over common sense. I get the need for a rigorous system of rules when you deal with so much personnel and whathaveyou. But....... you know.
I just found you guys and that appendix story reminded me of when I was 16. I was staying at my dads and his then girlfriend’s house. I started feeling sick at 9pm basically stayed up all night laying in the bathroom clenching my stomach and praying to the purslane god. My dad had enough of hearing me throwing up at 5am to take me to the hospital. Just in time before it ruptured. American healthcare is terrible.
Isn't that how the dinosaurs went extinct when one of them sneezed, burped, coughed, and farted at the same time n they all blew up
"we will give you a formal reprimand for saving lives, yes we didn't think that through"
The “you’re not supposed to touch that” reminds me of idiocracy
the transition between stories
Who's running in the background😂😂
“The Cesar has marked you for death”
Legion spies.
Bill Nye the Legion Spy.
8:07 a small goblin man living in the armrest sounds like a good bed time story
These campfire stories videos are the best
I nearly died from not being able to breath!
Thanks Manks and Zanks
That apendix story reminds me of something that happened to me.
We're on vacation in spain (i'm belgian, europe wise it's pretty close and one of the more "cheaper" european destinations) and what they tell you is, "don't drink the tap water, it isn't propperly treated."
I'm like ok, bottled water it is.
Night time comes on day three of my vacation, i'm brushing my teeth.
I'm done, the idiot that i am, out of reflex i rinse my brush with (you guessed it) tap water.
Next night i brush my teeth and go to bed.
Morning comes, i open my eyes *half my fucking mouth is on fire.*
I'm litterally in agony, i can't eat, i can't drink, i can't sleep.
I begged my parents _"Please, allow me to go to the hospital, they probably deal with this thing all the time, _*_PLEASE_*_ i'm in an incredible ammount of pain"_
My dad said _"Stop over reacting, you probaly have heat stroke or something, it will wear off"_
I spent 5 more days like this in spain, every moment was torture and i only got some sleep because i litterally fell uncauncious every night cramming pain pills inside of me.
(Mom is a walking medicine cabinet)
Then i got home (oh yeah we rode by *BUS* by the way so the trip took a day and a half), contacted my dentist and i had to wait *3* more days before i could go there.
(Listen she's the best and well worth the wait compared to other dentists around here, i'm talking about you, "the butcher")
She too X rays and she said that we imidiatly have to go to work.
Aparently i had a bacteria in my jaw *that was eating away everything.*
She spent *4 hours* basically drilling my entire jaw open and flushing it out.
I was concious for the entire thing by the way, you guys in the states can get knocked out, over here you get a local anesthetic and you better like it boyo.
But i didn't care, i was without pain for the first time in like a week.
She told me she only heard about this kinda thing in med school and that it normally happens in like south america.
I told my parents this, they didn't believe me, i told them to contact the damn dentist.
She explained everything, and suddenly it was all super "concern and hugs."
Next time i have pain, i'm ignoring their asses and just head to the hospital.
“How dare you this is a serious story about my appendix rupturing...
So my appendix didn’t rupture” damn it mike
God I never realised how violent sneezing really is an IV actually broken a rib from sneezing but I never believed thats what really broke it.
I quickly stopped thinking this was funny when I remembered that I too live in America.
Yeah, that shit got real, real quick.
Dont get hurt
Zach; "which they're not supposed to be doing!"
Legion Runner: "Oh fuck." *Runs away*
Had my appendix explode in the sixth grade. I stand to be one of the weirdest medical miracle. It had wrapped around my intestine. Formed a wall around itself (essentially a second appendix) Then exploded. It had ruptured TWO WEEKS before I was hospitalized. Dr at the time told me it was the stomach flu. I got in a cat scan (think that's what that weird orange drink was for) then I remember the doctors rushing me out, putting me on an ivy and I apperently had no time so they drilled into my appendix and drained it. Followed by a fuckton of morphine. A 48 hour surgery. And 3 more weeks of recovery and movies in the hospital I was released and went from 200lbs to 92. Either God wanted me to live or Deaths ruth goldberg machine made from my organs was a poor design.
200lbs in 6th grade? Bruh
@sakamoto2467 I was a fat kid. I'll own up to that. I've stayed in shape since then. Good wake up call that young
1:56 that vexillarius just running by
my dad was in the army and now all his medical oes through the VA. last year his apendix burst and he did not realise that that was the cause of his pain. he thought it was a kidney stone. well a week later he went to the hospital and found out how lucky he was that he did not die. then the va tried to say that they did not have to pay because it was not a emergency.
This should be a podcast series
Well at least my vision Will be better next year
The sneezing think is so funny.
It surely didn't have to do with the fact that had happened yesterday.
Been in the Army for going on 3 years and I know Zach's pain.
its been like 2 years since i last watched these dudes, and i still cant figure out if the story is his characters, or his actual military experience
I started to DIY of laughter after you said once I shat my pant after sneezing
1:58 A legion trooper ran by...!!!
>small arms repair
>howitzer
OH BOY WHAT A SMALL ARM.
If I don't have something behind my back when I sneeze I dislocate my ribs
You don’t see this in those military commercials lol
“Howitzer/Appendix”
I hope this isn’t going where I think it’s going
An appendix removal and the care taking in the hospital and all the other stuff involved costs between 4000 and 64000 Euros in Germany, but only if you are like from the USA and have no insurance, a german doesn't have to pay even 1 cent, but he can if he want even better treatment.
I remember one time when I was so sick, I threw up so hard that I crapped myself at the same time. And that's another reason why I never want to go to Florida again-EVER!
yeah sneezing can break bones, like a couple years ago i sneezed so hard i broke my sternum. Took like a year to fully heal up from that. That was fun.
In regards to the appendix/blockage in gut thing, I've experienced the exact same thing strangely enough. It was such intense pain that I couldn't even move my lower body without feeling like I was being drawn and quartered and it was all from some piece of crap stuck in my intestines...
"I sneeze"
-zach
I knew a guy that somehow bent the barrel of a C7. Like, the entire barrel... Handguard and all. Honestly slightly impressive.
I probably would've said:
"I didnt disobey your orders, I saved you from a headache, both figuratively ad literally." And explain the issue.
General safety outranks everone.
Oh man, I remember getting appendicitis. What a goddamn nightmare.
It's surprising how much the pain level seems to differ from person to person. Some people say it was like a moderate stomach ache that kept persisting, but for me, it was literally the worst pain I've ever felt in my life so far. I've sliced the tip of my finger in half with a model knife on accident before, and that was more tolerable. The appendicitis sent waves of pain throughout my entire body. I never had writhed helplessly from pain before, or had been in so much pain that I vomited, but appendicitis introduced me to that. By the time I got to the emergency room, they had to inject me with morphine THREE DIFFERENT TIMES, because the pain just didn't want to screw off. My nerve endings: suffering from success I guess. Thanks for at least letting me know something was wrong
appendicitis story is just like my experience.
Love how there's just a legion guy running around in the background.
The legionnaires running in the background is just fucking amazing 😂😂😂😂
I've sneezed so hard that I shat my britches too. It was very early in the morning, I was the only one awake because it was a school night and everybody else didn't have to do anything that day, I let out the hardest and loudest sneeze I've ever had, so much so that I shart in my asscurtains. I didn't want to tell anyone about this so I threw my underwear into the trashbin outside and bury them under a garbage bag, then I take a shower, get dressed, go to school and I've never told anyone about this until this day. Sneezes can be horrifying, if not for the potential of shitting yourself in private or in public, then definitely for the potential of breaking your ribs or suffering a heart attack.
That sneezing thing is real. My dad broke two ribs on a super sneeze. He didn't tell anyone and quietly drove himself to the hospital.
fun fact: I once sneezed so hard I blew out my fucking hearing. It hurt like hell and I couldn't hear properly for a week.