My delusion has evolved into social anxiety... 🙃 Living with schizophrenia
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- Опубликовано: 30 май 2024
- Hi!
This was not the video I thought I would upload today but here we are...
just me rambling about how my delusion has basically evolved into social anxiety and how i'm (not) coping with that.
thank you for watching me ramble about stupid things 💚
contact: kimberlyhallberg95@outlook.com
#schizophrenia #mentalhealth #livingwithschizophrenia
Equipment:
Camera: iphone 13
Editing software: Imovie
Thumbnails: canva, procreate
Music: epidemicsound
All of my music is from epidemic sound! www.epidemicsound.com/music/f...
I have social anxiety, probably mostly stemming from my CPTSD. You do such a good job of describing your experience! I have just begun therapy, and I still have a very hard time describing my experience to my therapist.
My social anxiety was borderline agoraphobia about 10 years ago. Then I slowly got better through a lot of work. The pandemic isolation completely undid all my progress 😣 This year I have been able to start small steps to recover again.
For me, focusing on enjoyable and gentle activities helps me stop obsessing over the social aspect of going out of the house.
I recommend going to quiet places like libraries, museums, craft or book or secondhand shops, parks during the morning or later in the evening (if safe). It exposes you to being in public and maybe interacting with one person, but with less pressure and less stimulation, so it’s easier to process the anxiety and ground yourself.
Going for walks in the morning, either before people are out or as people are going to work/school, helps me expose myself to being in public, but everyone is too busy to pay attention to me. Riding a bicycle is great at any time of day because even though I feel self-conscious, even riding a bicycle slowly is still much faster than walking, so I know that even if some random person is staring at me, I will be out of sight quickly.
Basically, I highly recommend choosing quiet activities that are interesting to you, so you can give yourself gentle exposure therapy and have built-in distractions and easy exit strategies.
Things like the gym and grocery shopping are more advanced in my opinion, because those environments are bright, sometimes loud, often crowded, most people aren’t happy to be there, and it’s harder to have a quick exit if you’re overwhelmed. For myself, buying food, and especially eating food in public, is be very difficult for me to do alone. Exercising in public is impossible for me right now. If you want to exercise, I highly recommend the youtube channel / website Fitness Blender. They have many free, beginner friendly, no music, no equipment necessary videos.
I recently started taking a yoga class and it’s been incredibly helpful exposure for my social anxiety, but the only reason I tried was because the instructor is a someone I know from work and the class is beginner-friendly. If you eventually want to try taking a class, choose one where you can verify the instructor is kind (from reviews or other recommendations). It also helps to choose an activity with a low commitment, not something where you have to commit to many days/weeks.
Anyways, best best wishes on your journey!! Sending lots of social anxiety solidarity 😊 Just the fact that you are able to film a video and put it on the internet is proof that you are so courageous! 💪❤️☀️
oh wow thank you for all of the tips! 😍 visiting quieter places and going on walks sound like a great start for me! as you say, the gym and grocery store might be more advanced since they're usually more crowded etc...
Again thank you for your comment! I'm really going to try some of these and good luck with your yoga class! ❤️
I'm also dealing with social anxiety big time. It comes with depression, and makes everything so complicated. Imagine trying to avoid your neighbours while having to take your dog out for a walk and when walking,trying to also avoid other dog owneres,even cars passing by ..Impossible. and yes I've worked while having these issues,it made me consider to just find a job or study something where I don't need to have any contact with people. Tho I also know if I start avoiding people, it'll get worse.
Thank you for speaking about your struggles. I hope you'll get some relief from your anxiety soon
thank you for watching and I hope you also get some relief from anxiety, I can relate to what you write a lot! have a nice day! ❤
some psychiatries say that is good to expose yourself very gradually to things that make you afraid. little by little you overcome the fear
yep! 😊
Anxiety is like a bully. I'm thinking of you as I am forcing myself to go out as well.
it really is! i'm glad you're trying, I am too! 🥰
I have noticed that the more I avoid what’s uncomfortable the more fear builds up toward it
I have panic attacks while driving and when I started to avoid it I started to feel like pretty soon I wouldn’t be able to drive at all
I force myself to do it just to keep my anxiety and panic at that level and not spiral out of control
yes I also find that avoiding it usually just worsen the anxiety...
I used to have severe social anxiety. How I got over it was doing things that made me anxious. But with baby steps so I didn't overwhelm myself!
thank you for the tip! 😊
I also have social anxiety and OCD. So I can understand you. Its very hard. You are not alone with it. Sending you healing energy 💚
Thank you, im sending you some healing energy as well! 💚
@@KimberlyHallberg thank you!
I love it when you talk to your cats in Swedish!!!!
🥹
I love her transparency and her inner strength shines bright. What's been helping my anxiety and mild ocd has been mindfulness meditation, eliminating coffee (the high caffeine was causing my body too much stress), and journaling every day (even just writing one affirmation or CBT exercise). The book "30 Days to Reduce Anxiety" by Harper Daniels is something I also liked a lot because it gave me a simple mindfulness exercise to try every day. We all have to find the things that serve our healing process because we're worth it.
thank you! and I will look up that book, I don't know much about mindfulness but I have heard its great 🥰
I recently released a short (70 page) book I wrote called "web island) the main character has schizophrenia ocd and anxiety... It's only on kindle though... Anyway not an add for it but I reckon it's an enjoyable insightful read... The main character hates the supermarket too and gets into some strife there! Anyway good luck!
thank you! is your book on amazon? 😊
@@KimberlyHallberg hi yes Amazon Kindle 🙂 it has it's very strange bits but persevere if you ever did read it... No pressure it's not Shakespeare but my editor sister and myself liked it... "Web island author Alexander Matthews"
I also have social anxiety. It varies from day to day, some days are easy with no anxiety and some days are not fun :P Trying to accept it and push through it, but it isn't easy.
sad to hear! I hope you also feel better soon ❤️
I hope the same for you!@@KimberlyHallberg
Hi Kimberly, I'm sad you have to go through so much struggle. I too have struggled with social anxiety. I will pray for you. God bless!
thank you! 🥰
Hi Kimberly, thanks again for sharing with us! I hope your trip to the store on the bus went well and also your upcoming dentists appt. I hear your struggles and some things I can relate to. Ive learned a few coping skills over the years that help me when I am out among people, at social functions, or family or whatever. They say to have a script before you leave, like an action plan of what you will do or say. What we tell ourselves is so important. I think you had talked about this in other videos. I feel like I failed so many times, for instance, its hard for me to be around my family. Too many reasons to go into. But I think I am getting better. I plan out in my head or write it down as to what I will do there or who I will hang around with etc. It has helped. Ive been very introverted and shy and afraid to speak most of my life. I still feel like noone pays any attention to me when I try to join into a conversation, but I guess thats more having low self esteem. Just keep on posting and talking about your fears and struggles! I believe that helps oneself and I give you lots of credit for letting yourself become vulnerable. I do that sometimes and afterward sometimes, I feel very ashamed. But as a friend told me, thats me feeling guilty for telling my truth. So keep telling your truth! I m sending you good vibes and prayers you will get through this! Hugs, Mary Ann 🤗🌺💜
thank you Mary Ann! 🥰 Im also a big introvert so being in crowded places and interacting with people isn't my strong suit. thank you for the tips, I did never go grocery shopping by myself... but i'm going to the dentist today and hope I will not be too anxious.. ❤️
@@KimberlyHallberg Hi Kimberly! I hope your at the dentist went well! Someone once told me How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. So I try to remember that. Im not very patient and going slower is hard for me, but theres a lot of wisdom in doing that. You are making great progress! Love ya! 🥰
thank you for checking up on me, the visit at the dentist actually went great! and I think baby steps is sometimes needed in order to battle it. ❤️
@@KimberlyHallberg Definately! Baby steps are good! 😍❤🤗
I got quite bad anxiety at the end of my first hospital stay, thankfully it went away after a while but I know it’s so tough. I have autism and suffer with social anxiety every time I socialise. It’s hell, I hope it goes away for you.
thank you! 🥰
I'm so sorry you are struggling, beautiful Kimberly! Sending you lots of love and healing thoughts from Texas
thank you! 💚have a nice weekend! 💚
I have severe OCD, and I know too well, that the obsessions and anxiety that comes with it is so so debilitating. I am glad that you have contacted your nurse. CBT, and exposure and response prevention therapy helps me a lot. And also I have to take meds for it, but it can definitely be managed if you find the right treatement that works for you. I wish you luck!
thank you Agnes! 💚
Do you also deal with intrusive thoughts? I get horrible anxiety with intrusive thoughts 😓
@@sunny4lady yes!
@@sunny4lady yes. Intrusive thoughts are part of OCD, so I get them a lot
@@AgnesBalla9602 they are so horrible ☹️ wish i could get rid of Them ☹️
hope you can find a safe place or reasoning to get out and have a good day and do your things. i have this issue i sit inside all day /; id say its delusions that got me here where its basically they know where im at always when i leave and srry if this is triggering but yea no use to work when the person next to you knows everything about you basically
thank you, I hope you feel better soon too! delusions can be so very hard to deal with 💚
Hi Kimberly, I feel for you. Your struggle is real. I have heard and seen how people with a diagnosis of schizophrenia can have more mental stress, anxiety which makes it difficult to be around a lot of people and get basic things like shopping done. I hope you are able to find some solutions that work for you. ❤ Your cat is adorable.
thank you Jean! ❤️
Sending you love Kimberly ❤️
thank you! 🥰
i hope you get better in the coming days
thank you!
Hi Kimberly, I know exactly what you are feeling! It is so easy to get into the habit of staying home and avoiding life....I hope you can push through and go to your appointments because each time you do that things may become just a wee bit easier. Hope you have a wonderful week :)
thank you Pam! and you too! 🥰
I‘m sure you will get through it 💛
thank you! 🥰
Take b12 and b complex help lot with anxiety,lots love stay strong and positive
thank you! 😊
So sorry you are struggling with anxiety. I am sending ❤️ to you and hope you will be able to overcome it.
thank you! ❤️
I have anxiety to
sad to hear!
Hi Kimberley! So sorry you are going through this 😢 I know hard it is to deal with anxiety. I have anxiety with intrusive thoughts, its awful! What do you take for anxiety?
thank you! ❤️ I don't know what it's called in English but it's just an ordinary anti-anxiety med, not very strong...
I wish you all the best at your therapy appointment.
thank you! 🥰
What is it about the other people at the gym or on the bus etc which makes you nervous? There are usually about 3 or 4 people at my gym, & I'm able to just get on with my exercises & ignore them..
I had a pretty bad experience with a delusion and it generalized my anxiety to include other things and sadly the gym is where the anxiety is the highest since im already anxious about being at the gym before this. but I have now been to the gym 6 times in the last 3 weeks which im proud of! also my gym is kind of crowded sometimes sadly... 🙃
@@KimberlyHallberg I'm quite lucky that my gym is usually quiet, with only a few people.
Lucky! I usually go when there's less people there but there is always at least 5-10 people there anyway I would say. 😊@@jamespassas9441
@@KimberlyHallberg Morning! I guess in the Netherlands you must be 1 hour ahead of us here in the UK, so it must be about 20 to 10 over there? Anyway, I had a job interview yesterday, which I think went well, should find out next week. My hand blender hasn't arrived yet, but should do within a day or two...
Im not from the Netherlands! im actually from Sweden 😊 Hope you get a good response from the interview! 😊@@jamespassas9441
Hi Kimberly, have you ever thinking about changing medication maybe that might bring you some relief.
it has been brought up but we're still not sure if its going to help.
@@KimberlyHallberg i understand, thank you for responding.
You should just get out there