Its Christmas time in Yorkshire and the Bin men Knocks on a woman's door to see if they will get any Christmas money for emptying the bins (I know!) So the first bin man knocks on and asks if everything was alright with the bins over the last year. The woman says "Yes" invites him in takes him up stairs and fuks his brains out. He goes back to the others and tell them what happened. The next bin man knocks on and asks if everything was alright with the bins over the last year. The woman says "Yes" invites him in takes him up stairs and fuks his brains out. He goes back to the others and tell them what happened. Finally the driver goes for his gift knowing what he is really going to get. He knocks on and before he has a chance to ask her how the bins was all year. She opens her purse and give him a fresh crisp £5 note. Shocked he protests "You didn't give all my mates a fiver how come you gave them something else and not me!" " She holds her hands up and says "I am sorry!, I am only going off what my husband told me to do. He said if the bin men come round asking for a Christmas gift I was to give the driver a fiver and fuk the rest"
Saw him a couple of times back in the 70's in Manchester and Bolton,shame he never comes as far as the top of the Scottish Highlands, like Wick or Thurso , as he's a true legend
I’m from the south but I absolutely know without any shadow of a doubt the people who will laugh the mostat this are the people from Yorkshire who are great
watched him.live some years ago in west Cornwall and everyone could not stop laughing he is universal and great live I met him outside the theatre by accident before the show and chatted to him he is the same off stage s great guy
Trotskyxx...you don't know what you don't know!.....this is a sampling of the great and good from Salford: James Joule. Graham Nash. Emmeline Pankhurst. Sir Ben Kingsley. Sir Peter Maxwell Davies. Albert Finney. Chris Eccleston. John Thomson. Robert Powel. Don Whillans. Harold Riley. Peter Hooke. Ryan Giggs. Shaun Ryder. Mark E Smith. Tony Wilson. William Mayo. William Renshaw. William Ellis. Tony Warren.
Bloke from Barnsley goes to a sculptures and says "I want a golden statue of mi dog." Sculpture - " d'ya want it eighteen carrot?" Bloke - "Nah, chewin' a bone's fine."
Angie H Home A bloke goes to a sculptor, could have been Yorkshire I don't know, and said do me a sculpture of my two pet spaniels . The sculptor says, 'do you want them mounted?', he says no, side by side will do fine.
In our current climate, this is politically incorrect. Indeed, it is 'Yorkist.' However, I am from Yorkshire and I found it just really funny. If we can't laugh at ourselves, might as well pack it up now...
Here's one from Yorkshire, my mates Dad had to have carers look after him for awhile. He begrudgingly agreed. They'd do their usual jobs. Making a cup of tea, prepare a sandwich. Perhaps a spot of hoovering. One day they'd finished up and asked him if there was anything else he needed, he replied 'front door could do with a clean' lol owt for nowt.
Two old yorkies sat on a bench outside a pub in"t dales one sez "t' other see this landlord ere in this pub he's fiddling us in" t next village you can buy a pint a pie an a mucky woman for a five t'uther old lad sez aye but who's pies are thur!!! 😆😆😆
@The Bike Bodger No that joke is about extolling the characteristic of the inbred Yorkshire misogyny, and that goes back much further than any general strike, come to think of it, it goes back further than Wigan!!
Funny stuff and all, but we're 'tight' in Yorkshire due to being treated like serfs for centuries and having to endure poverty. And as to the accent, a lot of it stems from our Viking ancestors, and how they spoke. I used to take it all as a joke, but try saying these jokes about anyone else; about how they speak, or their way of life, and you'd be arrested, so all in all, I'm just jaded by the humour.
I was sat back to back at a dinner with this guy once, seemed he wanted plenty of leg room which had his chair hemming mine (and therefore me) up close to the table, I (being a pleb with no big ego) thought it rude to ask for a ittle room but even ruder that he knew it was happening and cared fuck all about it, it's a minor gripe but quite telling and sadly even typical of these 'man of the people' types in their everyday lives
Im a Yorkshireman born n bred,I’ve always been a fan of Johns he’s a fkin genius God bless ya John 🏴✌️
na'then, me too
Bloody hilarious .JCC never disappoints ! I’m sure even Yorkshireman would probably laugh at these jokes ! !
Yes im one and pissing myself .brilliant 👍
I'm from Leeds, this is funny as fuck, love JCC
Yes, we do.
Of course we are laughing. We got to see this for free
Its Christmas time in Yorkshire and the Bin men Knocks on a woman's door to see if they will get any Christmas money for emptying the bins (I know!) So the first bin man knocks on and asks if everything was alright with the bins over the last year. The woman says "Yes" invites him in takes him up stairs and fuks his brains out. He goes back to the others and tell them what happened. The next bin man knocks on and asks if everything was alright with the bins over the last year. The woman says "Yes" invites him in takes him up stairs and fuks his brains out. He goes back to the others and tell them what happened. Finally the driver goes for his gift knowing what he is really going to get. He knocks on and before he has a chance to ask her how the bins was all year. She opens her purse and give him a fresh crisp £5 note. Shocked he protests "You didn't give all my mates a fiver how come you gave them something else and not me!" " She holds her hands up and says "I am sorry!, I am only going off what my husband told me to do. He said if the bin men come round asking for a Christmas gift I was to give the driver a fiver and fuk the rest"
All his stuff ages perfectly. People will be laughing for years . As others have said. Paint my house!!😂
This man is so individually unique,no one will EVER come close. I luv Dr.J.C.Clarke. xx
Laverne X
Saw him a couple of times back in the 70's in Manchester and Bolton,shame he never comes as far as the top of the Scottish Highlands, like Wick or Thurso , as he's a true legend
For some people the wars of the roses never really ended.
I’m from the south but I absolutely know without any shadow of a doubt the people who will laugh the mostat this are the people from Yorkshire who are great
As a Tyne Sider, I will always giggle at the genius of J C C🎉
The man is a living LEGEND
yorkshireman takes his cat to the vet's
vet - is he a tom ?
yorkshireman - no, I brought him wimme
f$ck That's funny :)
I was 51 yesterday and that ones older than me! :)
exceltraining Copyright Ken Dodd.
Stick to your day job. The way you tell it, the vet has answered his own question. Needs to be “Is it a tom?”.
I love ❤️ this man. He's so brill. AND stunning....Mistress ⛓
JCC. A genius. Best thing to come out of Salford. Ever.
watched him.live some years ago in west Cornwall and everyone could not stop laughing he is universal and great live I met him outside the theatre by accident before the show and chatted to him he is the same off stage s great guy
True, but there's not a great deal of competition, is there?
Trotskyxx...you don't know what you don't know!.....this is a sampling of the great and good from Salford: James Joule. Graham Nash. Emmeline Pankhurst. Sir Ben Kingsley. Sir Peter Maxwell Davies. Albert Finney. Chris Eccleston. John Thomson. Robert Powel. Don Whillans. Harold Riley. Peter Hooke. Ryan Giggs. Shaun Ryder. Mark E Smith. Tony Wilson. William Mayo. William Renshaw. William Ellis. Tony Warren.
not forgetting Ewan Maccoll
@@pfg333 he's Irish
Wish I'd been at this gig. As a Yorkshireman, I'd have asked for my money back.
I'd have asked for both mine and yours...
Ironic
@@charliesmithers7663 Sreeet.....
I don't reckon he'd a paid in first place neither.
If you are a Yorkshireman then someone would have paid for your ticket for you!?..looool
Yeah, but like all true Yorkshiremen you're watching for free on RUclips.
Bloke from Barnsley goes to a sculptures and says "I want a golden statue of mi dog."
Sculpture - " d'ya want it eighteen carrot?"
Bloke - "Nah, chewin' a bone's fine."
Angie H
I
Angie H Home A bloke goes to a sculptor, could have been Yorkshire I don't know, and said do me a sculpture of my two pet spaniels . The sculptor says, 'do you want them mounted?', he says no, side by side will do fine.
Hahaaaaaaa!
Classic Yorkshire lol
What time is it when there’s a meat pie on Barnsley town ‘all clock?
Summat to 8
As a Yorkshireman these are superb 😂😂😂😂😂
ruclips.net/video/WQcjanPGqAA/видео.html
@@gaz4840 pure class, Yorkshire 😅😂😂😂😂
Hahaha 😂 He should come with a health warning: Do not watch whilst eating or drinking - SEVERE RISK OF CHOKING
I nearly just died!
don't watch him while eating a condom
In our current climate, this is politically incorrect. Indeed, it is 'Yorkist.'
However, I am from Yorkshire and I found it just really funny. If we can't laugh at ourselves, might as well pack it up now...
This being a youtube thread, good luck with that.
Aye. Sithee tho, if tha geets tired, us on'tother side of Pennines 'll still do it fo thee.
Never gets old
My ex was from Yorkshire and she wasn't tight.
😁😀😁😀😁😀
🤣🤣
Then he's not a true yorkie then coz i am!!!
@@martinburke362 Jeez t'lad said tha were mean ~ nod bluddy slow.
@@babboon5764 strong in"t arm weak in"t eard!!!!
Here's one from Yorkshire, my mates Dad had to have carers look after him for awhile. He begrudgingly agreed. They'd do their usual jobs. Making a cup of tea, prepare a sandwich. Perhaps a spot of hoovering. One day they'd finished up and asked him if there was anything else he needed, he replied 'front door could do with a clean' lol owt for nowt.
im a Yorkshireman and i love this! ya not gettin a tip though, John.
You can always tell a yorkshireman........but you cant tell him much!
Paint my house music to Yorkshireman's ears.
I grew up in Yorkshire.. hilarious
Excellent
As a Yorkshireman I'm thoroughly amused! 🤣
Try to find his joke about the Cockney who joins the Foreign Legion - excellent
This is Yorkshireism 😂😂😂😄😄😄😄,John Cooper is an absolute gem.
Genius.... and funny too! Enjoy.
JCC gigs: The rowdiest most rawkus poetry readings ever!
"Paint my house" 🤣
Love him ❤
turn on the subtitles to really spice it up
I think JCC needs to add it was a Blue Cross vet, where you pay nowt.
Superb
in would have thought it would cost more for a vet than another condom.
i am a yorkshireman.
You Sir have my sympathies.
That’s the punchline - he was too tight to pay for the vets bill - the condom was the cheapest option
What was he doing with the dog to make it swallow a condom?
Twas t't principal oth matter. That might be more Lancashire I don't know.
reet grand ..tha knoes, the bugger !
😂😂😂 brilliant!
Paint my house !😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣....funny thing is...its probably true !!
Genius
Very good.
Daily Express is no longer owned by a porn baron, it's now owned by the Daily Mirror under its deceitful corporate name Reach UK.
Not offended. Too accurate.
30 people are from the wrong side of the Pennines.
Awesome!!! :)
GRrreeaat jokes from a great teller.
He has a great way of delivering jokes. He was on R3 recently, I'll send you the link.
The series is called Between the ears
The 21-Gun Salute Suit
www.bbc.co.uk/podcasts/series/bte
The suit poem is classic JCC! Well spotted, or is it audited? Thanks Andrew.
Yes, he has a great way of delivering jokes. His sense of timing is just perfect. Glad you liked it, Fred.
'paint my house'......
Imagine a world without drugs. I do
The Manc needs to eat more pies😂
Brill
Hilarious!
.
What is it about the Yorkshire accent that kids find so attractive?
55 Yorkshire men
All good leg-pulling. You won't find many oversensitive Yorkshire men taking you to court or pulling down statues over it.
❤😂
Two old yorkies sat on a bench outside a pub in"t dales one sez "t' other see this landlord ere in this pub he's fiddling us in" t next village you can buy a pint a pie an a mucky woman for a five t'uther old lad sez aye but who's pies are thur!!! 😆😆😆
@The Bike Bodger No that joke is about extolling the characteristic of the inbred Yorkshire misogyny, and that goes back much further than any general strike, come to think of it, it goes back further than Wigan!!
Has this man ever been recorded professionally?
Your the thicko, have to write it down
😊😅😂❤😅😂❤😊😂❤😊😅
😂😂Paint my house😂 😂😂
🤣🤣🤣
Funny stuff and all, but we're 'tight' in Yorkshire due to being treated like serfs for centuries and having to endure poverty. And as to the accent, a lot of it stems from our Viking ancestors, and how they spoke.
I used to take it all as a joke, but try saying these jokes about anyone else; about how they speak, or their way of life, and you'd be arrested, so all in all, I'm just jaded by the humour.
Point taken. But let's not let that affect our intra-english piss taking freedom. I say that as I take the knee during Scouse History Month.
How do you know when a Yorkshireman's been skulking around your house?
Go on
Steve, you're fucking this up.
@@evcarr3008 l could fuck up a ham sandwich.
Come on Steve it's been 5 years
needs sum new material for sure
I was sat back to back at a dinner with this guy once, seemed he wanted plenty of leg room which had his chair hemming mine (and therefore me) up close to the table, I (being a pleb with no big ego) thought it rude to ask for a ittle room but even ruder that he knew it was happening and cared fuck all about it, it's a minor gripe but quite telling and sadly even typical of these 'man of the people' types in their everyday lives
Sounds a bit disappointing. Maybe his poem Twat is partly autobiographical :)
did you ask him to give you more space?
I just dont find him funny. Fair enough.
He even buggered up the condom joke
I think he must have found a 1950s Borscht Belt comic's notebook, and played it off as his own. No joke under 75 years old in this set.
All the giggling by the Champagne Socialists.
wat?
@@kelzuya Wat. Wat's no country I've heard of. Do they speak English in Wat?
@@fasthracing #WatTyler
100%, its all his fanbase is. Middle class boomers who think this is 'authentic working class England'. Complete rubbish
😂😂😂😅
JCC the Salford bard. Absolute legend
Genius