This is a tough subject. I started out very trusting of my girlfriends with their male friends but after two instances of being cheated on by girlfriends with their guy friends I started to feel super anxious if a girl I was dating had a guy friend. I also experienced a 7 year relationship with a really honest girl who never entertained a single guy friend. I was the one who had female friends actually, mostly from work and old friends. I never really hung out with them privately except on rare occasion and I always let my girl friend know. That relationship eventually broke up but trust and jealousy wasn't the reason. A few years later I meet this amazing woman who had all the qualities I was looking for except that she thought it was normal to go on one on one dates with her guy friends. She would go out for dinner, drinks, road trips, you name it. No holds bard with regard to doing anything as "just friends" with her guys... Needless to say this triggered all of my old trauma from having been cheated on for which she had no sympathy. I tried to establish boundaries but from her point of view boundaries were my way of controlling her because I was insecure and jealous. We both got so defensive and triggered over it that we broke up. I was left completely distraught and confused. Now I'm getting ready to go to Hawaii to visit an old girlfriend who is just my friend not but is trying to reconcile with her ex husband. I am going to be staying with her at her apartment and probably having breakfast lunch and dinner with her and taking long walks on the beech just as friends.... Doesn't look good right? So I called her ex to let him know that I am totally supportive of them getting back together and I just want to be her fiend because we have known each other for over 20 years and she has the hookups in Hawaii. He was actually totally cool with it so the plan is a go and hopefully we can all be good friends.
I’ve been friends with my best friend since 9th grade. I’m hetero and so is she. There is and has not ever been any sexual thoughts, feelings, or ulterior motives between or behind our friendship. She’s been married and divorced, and I’m single and have been in and out of situationships. We have a great friendship and bond and there is nothing more to that. I’m truly and genuinely grateful to have her in my life and wouldn’t trade or change anything about it for anything in the world. I think opposite friendships are possible but sometimes it’s based off of how it originates. School, church, work, childhood neighborhoods and things like that, are ways/places where I believe friendships like this happen organically and naturally🤷🏾♂️
Id ssy yes, but ive never found that male friends want it to stay that way and inevitably the friendship ends. 😔
completely agree
Sometimes it can
All women I know say the same thing... Eventually, romance ruins what they thought was just a platonic friendship.
This is a tough subject. I started out very trusting of my girlfriends with their male friends but after two instances of being cheated on by girlfriends with their guy friends I started to feel super anxious if a girl I was dating had a guy friend. I also experienced a 7 year relationship with a really honest girl who never entertained a single guy friend. I was the one who had female friends actually, mostly from work and old friends. I never really hung out with them privately except on rare occasion and I always let my girl friend know. That relationship eventually broke up but trust and jealousy wasn't the reason. A few years later I meet this amazing woman who had all the qualities I was looking for except that she thought it was normal to go on one on one dates with her guy friends. She would go out for dinner, drinks, road trips, you name it. No holds bard with regard to doing anything as "just friends" with her guys... Needless to say this triggered all of my old trauma from having been cheated on for which she had no sympathy. I tried to establish boundaries but from her point of view boundaries were my way of controlling her because I was insecure and jealous. We both got so defensive and triggered over it that we broke up. I was left completely distraught and confused. Now I'm getting ready to go to Hawaii to visit an old girlfriend who is just my friend not but is trying to reconcile with her ex husband. I am going to be staying with her at her apartment and probably having breakfast lunch and dinner with her and taking long walks on the beech just as friends.... Doesn't look good right? So I called her ex to let him know that I am totally supportive of them getting back together and I just want to be her fiend because we have known each other for over 20 years and she has the hookups in Hawaii. He was actually totally cool with it so the plan is a go and hopefully we can all be good friends.
Thanks for watching and sharing your story Jim! Great that you've been able to learn from your past to support your friend in a healthy way.
I tend to disagree.I would be okay with my wife going an overnight trip with a woman.I wouldn’t be with a straight man.
I’ve been friends with my best friend since 9th grade. I’m hetero and so is she. There is and has not ever been any sexual thoughts, feelings, or ulterior motives between or behind our friendship. She’s been married and divorced, and I’m single and have been in and out of situationships. We have a great friendship and bond and there is nothing more to that. I’m truly and genuinely grateful to have her in my life and wouldn’t trade or change anything about it for anything in the world.
I think opposite friendships are possible but sometimes it’s based off of how it originates. School, church, work, childhood neighborhoods and things like that, are ways/places where I believe friendships like this happen organically and naturally🤷🏾♂️
Great perspective! Thanks for sharing! 🥰
What if you started as friends with benefits and now they are your best friend. Most partners won’t except that.
Why should they?
If you don’t have kids together I don’t see a reason you should be kept around.
Y