Being the smart kid in high school is a trap. If everyone always tells you you're smart, you begin to base your identity around it, but you also never learn how to teach yourself new skills. So one day your classes catch up to you and you have no idea how to study, so your whole identity gets challenged. It took me years to break the cycle.
THIS. Being smart and able to breeze through everything is cool until you get to the point where there's something you can't breeze through and you realize "oh no I have no idea how to handle this D:"
Elias E. Yes! I graduated HS with over a 4.0, never needing to study. Got into a good university. Left after 4 semesters with a 1.5 gpa. Finally back at again (current gpa 3.7) but my past brings my cumulative down so much...
Intelligence is the ability to see what mistakes you could make, and limit the amount of mistakes you do make. This advantage can lead to an easy life. The best advice I have ever heard was given to a dumb child by a smart parent. "Life is hard. I suggest you find a helmet, and hope it fits."
I think being labeled as a “smart kid” is a giant cause of stress, anxiety, and depression for those being labeled. I don’t stress about school because I’m worried about my grades - I’m stressed about school because not getting 100% on everything means I’m failing, at least it does to me and to my peers. If I get an 80% on a test, I’m not praised for trying. I’m bullied for stooping down to the “dumb kid” level. And it sucks.
@@skytower1662 Never happens where I live, in fact bullying is a federal crime (or something like that, but it is a crime). We don't stress ourselves to always get As, we're perfectly fine with a B and whatever. (Or a B-, I'm not American)
Girl. I swear to God ppl are so dramatic. I was labeled as the smart kid and I wasn't that stressed. Surround yourself with different ppl and quit telling ppl your grades.
Hunter Lee it’s not about being happy when you aren’t. Even titles that sound nice like the smart kid can actually be stressful like the video details. Sometimes we can’t even tell what’s stressing us out. Like thinking, “why am I so stressed out about school? I’m the smart kid!” But then you realize it’s actually the problem.
@@AbramSF it comes off a bit different when you change it to "why am i so stressed out about school? I'm the normal kid!" which is what we expect incremental oriented people to think i suppose.
I was the "smart" kid. Whether by natural talent or hard work or both, I don't know. Introverted, shy, VERY anxious, nervous, fragile, sensitive, obviously bullied and harrassed. But constantly praised. But also, the slightest look and/or tone of disappointment when I failed the slightest crushed me. Today I have all those papers, racked up awards, diplommas, certifications, stuff for my CV... ... For what purpose? Years later I'm a depressed, anxious, severely mentally ill (that's started spreading to physical symptoms) being, diagnosed at ELEVEN YEARS OLD and I don't feel accomplished. I'm an adult now and I haven't even finished my HS education when I should be finishing university today. While all my younger cousins and other relatives keep thriving on in life and whatnot. Me? I'm just side-eyed, stared at with disappointment, sometimes disgust. Hurtful remarks. Negligence. I feel empty. Whenever I hear someone say things like "you're so smart", "don't let your intelligence go to waste", "you could become a doctor or a lawyer", I just feel wrath, sadness, disappointed. People pushing expectations onto me. It hasn't really helped me in career terms either, and I mean, with how my health has plummeted, I can't even hold a job for god's sake. Not even retail hires me anyway. I'm not saying you should slack off and become sedentary either. But if you're going to be the smart kid, do it out of your own will, motivation, and passion. Thank you for this video. I plan on translating it soon; I hope you can accept it.
Keep fighting, for yourself, its never too late to do something, even if its tough. Getting more positive is in fact one of the hardest things to do, but managable. Hope you get better
It’s been four years since you left this comment, but I swear I could’ve wrote it. I relate to every word you typed so damn much. Only thing I’ve been able to do the last couple years to feel somewhat okay is get back into painting, which I stopped doing at age 12 because people told me I wouldn’t need it since I’d be a lawyer🙃 painting is my escape from reality. It’s my peace. I’m 19, got my GED at 16, and entered college at 17. I have since dropped out do to all the stress + major traumas that happened in my life + an in patient psych hospital stay that resulted in me being very behind in all my classes. I’m just hopeful that maybe someday I get back to college and hopeful that I’ll be able to sell paintings in the meantime
'The Smart Kid' at my middle school went ballistic one day in grade 7, and bit the teacher, tore off his shirt and tie.. (yes, his parents made him wear a tie), and ran through the halls screaming. We never saw him again. Absolute true story. Wherever you are, Roger.. hope you're feeling better.
It would be really nice if schools weren't literally designed to treat it as if there were smart, normal, slow, problem and special children. Smart kids are the ones who make districts their bonus grants, anyone else is a happy accident being shuffled towards a workplace they aren't ready for.
Agreed, over half my graduating class barely recalled ANYTHING they had learned just that year, and many barely met the requirements to graduate. I genuinely fear for their success and happiness.
Being the 'smart kid' might seem awesome but it's not. There lots of stress for when you mess up. When I was younger and got a 96 on a test I would literally cry. Thanks for helping me understand this more SciShow Psych.
I'm the smart kid. I think I'm an idiot because I'm lazy. I make the dumbest mistakes sometimes and laugh them off. If I can remember too, I'll announce all of my mistakes to the entire class because I find them hilarious. I'm also dramatic, annoying, and socially awkward. I'm nobody's friend but I'm perfectly happy with the peace and quiet when I can hear my own thoughts. Also because if I'm near anyone, they can't hear their own thoughts.
@@davidwillcocks808 Yes, but any reasonable person would know that you don't actually need to do perfectly on any test to prove that you're smart and that in most cases you don't actually need to prove you're smart. A smart person would also know that it is completely possible to enjoy life without approval from anyone and that even if you want approval, there are better ways to get it than trying to prove you're flawless when nobody is.
@@9nikolaiAll of this is undoubtedly true. The problem is that I think very few people would be that rational. This is most apparent when you consider the age of the people receiving such positive feedback in the form (maybe even exclusively) of high test scores. A teen, despite clearly being intelligent from a learning standpoint, is unlikely to have the emotional intelligence to realise they need not prove anything and will therefore internalise the feedback into their self image at a level that is unhealthy in the long term. The realisations you talk about take a lot of time to reach and will be the most difficult for those who have already developed so much of their self esteem based on their intellect. It's also important to note that the pressures can come from your own reactions to your results without having any external feedback and that oftentimes one must be 'the smart kid' to be perceived as 'the smart kid' which is why I think that the difference between those two things is almost non-existent. This is why I say the pressures are the same and that I think you have described someone who has developed themselves enough to some to terms with them, something that we should all strive towards.
I personally think our definition of "smart" in the first place needs to be re-worked. Defining it by grades doesn't really work because one person with an A could've spent no time studying and the other several hours. Not to mention that the person who didn't have to study may not be smart. They may just be better at the skills you often use in school like memorizing and regurgitating info. Not to mention that how things are taught and how the student tries to study or learn has a big effect on their overall learning. (Passive vs active learning) Then there's also the fact that there are a whole bunch of different types of intelligence and school only formerly addresses spacial, linguistic, or mathematical intelligence while ignoring natural, musical, existential, interpersonal, bodily-kinesthetic intelligence, and intra-personal intelligence. They should really try to incorporate that into the curriculum, I think, so people can stop pressuring the smart kids as well as falsely thinking that they themselves might be dumb when they're just better at skills that schools don't test.
@@Divine-sw7cc It would be super hard to consistently cheat enough to get straight As in all your classes. I'd be surprised if you could find even one case. Plus, being the "smart person" isn't just getting good grades in class, it's also being the one that often raises their hand to answer questions, or being the one who ends up doing all the work in group projects, or being the one people look to to answer questions. You can't cheat with those things. Not to say people don't cheat or ever get away with it whether they are "smart" or not, but just that the statistics and sociology suggest that cheating isn't a likely way that a large majority of smart kids get their "smart" label, if any do at all.
@@Vivi_Pallas well, I know my material instead of memorizing it, never cheating, and still get A's. I rarely answer questions despite being the most talkative and the smartest in all my classes. It's possible for smart people to never answer questions. I'm also the most socially awkward, annoying, friendless, and judgemental person in my grade. And physically weakest, too! I've sacrificed a lot, except time because I don't study.
I could ace every single test in the world, if I was given unlimited time to do so. This is most likely true with the vast majority of people. Take a theoretical immortal person (15,000 years old); obviously he would be incredibly intelligent in the area of experience, but would he have the fastest natural processing reflexes(ability to answer every question at lightening speeds)? Probably not. It would probably take him a couple of minutes to find the right info, then process it as the right response.
I would say I am more of a philosophical person, when it comes to philosophy, I believe I am pretty good at it, also I am good at forming advanced sentences, writing, and I guess I could have something in poetry too But nah Lets ignore a type of intelligence that was considered the best frigen gift in one of the most ancient and respected I could say civilisations, that one dude who knows how to mix and remove a buncho symbols is obviously the only smart one in here Oh also lets ignore the one who knows how to make a nice sculpture and comes up with ideas that can help the class Or the other one that is amazing at strategy and could help with the school's team for *insert random sport* who could also help the country with military and organising the country and stuff in the future Lets also ignore that one person who is capable of understanding other people, can help their problems, and sometimes that skill reaches the extend of knowing how be an animal whisperer, which is a skill some people completely lack Only the symbol boi is worth it
Ooooooooooooof hard relate on that one. You know how many times I get treated like a human calculator despite not even having an above average arithmetical processing speed? It's annoying
Twenty Seventh Letter Usually Im methodical when making a decision. Figuring things out and summing it up before coming to a conclusion. They ask for your opnion, want an instant yes/no answer, and get mad when you introduce conditionals or complications. Worst part is when they just want you to agree with their conclusion, and try to get you to argue for it, (If you want a faster travel time, take this route, if you want an ‘easier’ one, take this one) (Just tell me which one is best.)
Everyone around me has been calling me smart ever since I was little and I they are probably right. However I feel that I have been banded as some pure genius when really I'm not. All my success seems to be attributed to my 'natural intelligence' and not to all the hard work and effort I actually put into all the thing I do. It somehow feels like my achievements don't have any value. I guess the moral of the story is think about how you complement others. Even if they are intelligent they are still human and struggle as much as you do.
You forgot the word "think" after "I". "However" should have a comma after it in this context. The word "banded" should be "branded". There should be a comma after "really". A common misconception is that single words or phrases should only use apostrophes when quoted, however, this rule only applies to quotes within quotes. i.e. "test 'test' test." Wrong version of "compliment". "Thing" should be "things".
@@yellowishnesses1138 you are actually incorrect on one point. I did not forget to write "think" after "I", I actually forgot to remove the "I" when deciding to express myself in a different way. As for the spelling mistakes, I am dyslexic and therefore Have a hard time seeing the difference between similar words. This effect is even more noticeable when I know what word it is supposed to be, for example, if I wrote it. I hope you feel really smart for pointing out the spelling and grammatical mistakes of dyslexic non-native English speakers in the comments section of a RUclips video.
@@Oskiirrr I was trying to be ironic. I had the impression that everyone posting their stories had a connection to the feeling of being chipped away. Sorry, didn't mean to offend you, I will try to make my intention more clear in the future.
I was the smart kid. I went to an underperforming school where they legally had to build a "gifted" group around me even though I was the only one who had tested into it. During the rest of the school day I finished class work early, so I was praised for sitting still and not disrupting other students. In high school I was still doing my best: finishing early, then staring into space or reading library books under the desk. I didn't socialize or participate in class discussions (not out of arrogance, I just didn't understand how to at that point) and teachers would sometimes ask me to leave. When this happened I would walk to the public library to read books for the rest of the day--so much more fun than just sitting! Then I began staying up at night on the computer in my parents' living room, researching and interacting with people through early blogs and online journals. The internet made the world feel so beautiful and open again. I nearly didn't graduate from high school despite a high GPA, because I was truant at the public library for almost half of my senior year (I didn't understand at the time that it was unacceptable to go off-campus when I had been asked to leave). However, a teacher appealed my case, and I graduated. I scored in the 98th percentile on the SAT and got into one of my top choice universities. It was depressing, so I founded three different social clubs. Life took an upswing when I received a small grant and had the opportunity to organize two software businesses--one was a failure and one became a moderate success. Currently, I am studying Economics at a graduate school in Hong Kong. I cannot believe how I ended up here. What a trip. I learned to apply my intelligence and grow because the system I was in either didn't have room for it or rejected it. I had to grow in order to prove myself in the outside world--there was no window into the future other than what I could create for myself. I am grateful that there was more than one way to become who I wanted to be, and that even though the world wasn't built for "smart" people, it was still possible to find new opportunities to grow with each venture.
just my unsolicited, unscientific opinion, but i think that the growth mindset is the best mindset to have, not because it correlates to better academic achievement, a higher salary, or even success in life, but because i think people with growth mindsets tend to view things not in absolutes, but in compromises. simply put, i think that people with growth mindsets when it comes to learning tend to view life not from a fixed standpoint, but different standpoints, giving them a clearer, nuanced view of life and the world. again, just a dumb, unscientific opinion. i wish researchers can research this too, but it will take so many years to even get a conclusion.
Pro tip. If you're looked at as just "the smart kid" find a way to make that look more like a trait and less like your whole personality. Play a sport or join a weird club. Develope your self as an individual and others will see you differently.
Better yet, ignore what other people think of you. Unless they're great friends, anyone from your high school will be gone from your life in 4 years. Same goes for college. In the long run, the only one who matters is yourself, so just focus on improving that.
In primary school, I was the 'smart kid.' I vividly remember one time I forgot to bring my homework to school. Everyone jeered and made fun, saying things like, "I can't believe SHE forgot. She couldn't do it.." etc. I still remember the humiliation, and worse, the teacher was doing it too. I think this has played a big part in why I'm still afraid of failure, but I soon moved to a class in a different school where everyone around me was just as, or smarter than me, and that helped me grow as a person so that I could actually live normally without people judging me for the tiniest mistakes the whole time.
True story. Another thing I'd like to see studied (which doesn't appear to have been) is the correlation with level of challenge... I've got a near photographic memory, and was always "that smart kid" (and also "that arrogant kid") in school - to the point that I was in 3rd year at University the first time I ever felt the need to study for something (all the while pulling in A/A+ average in pretty much everything I tried - the lowest grade on my high school transcript was still a B in statistics/finite math). You'd think that would have set me up for success but in truth, it taught me that I could phone it in and still be above average. I'm probably the laziest person I know, and I'm certain I could be doing better in business if I'd had to actually learn a work ethic at a younger age.
This is me aswell. I don't feel like I can motivate myself to work hard to achieve my goals. It really frustrates me. A big problem is that other people don't get what is so hard about spending a day doing something I don't like. I just had the idea to join the military for a couple of months, maybe that can motivate me.
Same here. Now that I'm in university I feel the need of something I should have started years ago: studying properly. I never done it, just had it easy because I'm curious and like to go deeper and forward, my hoobies when I'm free were always like 60% related to learning something, but in a more relaxed and less strict way than school books, like sci show itself for example. That pulled me through highschool as being one of the best, but I already had problems with some things I struggled with because being what I am wasn't enough to get near perfect grades in those subjects, so I think that's one of the aspects for my depression to develop, too strict and demanding of myself, and very little tolerant to frustration and failure, I even named it, although I admit people usually misinterpret when hear the word "perfectionism". Today I truly hate being called smart, it feeds that fixed mindset of perfectionism, and if I really want to live properly in the future and not kill myself before that, I need to learn to understand fails and value them more than the successes I have.
@@Ludix147 I had that idea when I was younger. They wouldn't let me join because I had wonky feet... 15 years later and I've almost got my medical degree. Still don't feel very motivated.
You put a challenge in front of me and I'll attack it like a wild psychopath, physically and mentally overexerting myself to overcome it. You set a performance standard in front of me and I will trudge through it with the absolute minimum of exertion possible. They don't pay me more if I work harder, they just make my life harder in return.
I always did well in school but I was very insecure and now i feel pressure to be better because people assumed, that i'll do great in every test. Exept for my mum. She loves me anyways but the fear of failure is my daily companion.
I was always praised for my skills and exceptional abilities as a child, but no matter how I tried, I was scolded for being lazy and not trying hard enough. ...Long story short, I have more mental disorders than you can count on one hand.
I was the "smart kid" up until the ninth grade, at which point I had a massive concussion on the third day of school. It's very difficult to have anything resembling good mental health when the one trait you defined yourself by is gone.
couple of decades too late for me. i think thanks to this, i have a very serious problem with commitment to an activity. i get all fired up when i'm learning but when i notice i'm doing well i go "welp, seems i could master this pretty easily if i kept going. heck, maybe i could even be among the best. point proven, time to find the next thing". So i have a very wide range of unsharpened skills at my disposal. that goes from a work skill to simple stuff like games or physical activities. for example, pushing myself to run / bike far. start at 20~km in an hour, end up doing 4 hour sessions for over 100km within a few weeks. then once i have proven to myself that i can improve that much, i just lose all my will to continue doing it. i already know i _could_ after all, which is all that seems to drive me in the first place. proving me to myself. also the feeling of improvement, which is obviously fastest when you're starting
can relate quite a lot i can do well in almost all videogames that are popular for example but i never go past the top 1% or when there is a new topic in college / school i always do extremely well in the beginning and end up average after a couple of weeks later when everyone else learned properly while i just coasted trying something else thats new in my free time
Doesnt tricking yourself to care a bit less works a bit, or viewing a bit like a serious game to get the stress out? Physical training can be tricky to motivate youself to keep up. And really works better when you have a training buddy. Or swimming which is fun because i can get my mind off, and no sweating. Still I am no one to talk. Finding motivations is really hard. Self discipline too. Or sticking to something, where you would need a fun challenging group to go to.
People called me smart when i was younger, i now hate that they did. Due to this when i was a young teen i was afraid of failure, however i'm starting to finally improve now i'm 18. I try and put my hand up when a teacher asks a question, even if i'm not 100% sure i'm right. If i am right, then great it helps my self esteem. If i'm wrong, well it's humbling and i see it as an opportunity to learn. I was always afraid people would think i was dumb if i answered wrong, but other people care as little as i do when someone answers wrong. Don't be the kid who just thinks like they know it all already and doesn't pay attention in class. You don't know it all (unless you're getting perfect scores on your tests that is), and chances are that you're not any smarter than the people around you. More than 50% of people think that they're smarter than average, which is impossible. so pay attention in class. Doesn't matter if you're good or bad at a subject, everyone can improve their grade with enough effort. And if you're one of the people who's afraid of failure, don't worry most people are. Just remember, you're in school to learn the things you don't know. And in life in general, most people are just kind of winging it. Personally i have 0 clue what i'm doing,
I can be called the 'smart kid', only in certain classes though. I raise my hands a lot and usually get somewhat good grades. I would say I'm more incremental, a growth mind set. I don't really care what people say when I get worse grades then I usually do, everyone fails sometimes. I don't like being put on a higher branch as someone who isn't though, it really a lot of times come to how you were raised and I was fortunate enough to live in a house where academic skills isn't everything and trying new things is highly praised. My parents give me good feedback on good things and it's true that sometimes they pride me on how smart me and my brother are but usually they'll give us both negative and positive feed back. Like "Oh this is really good but you could make it better buy doing..." and yeah sometimes it's good to be praised completely but don't raise them to have Golden Child Syndrome.
Ever heard "It's not to my standard." When you tried to clean a room or do a chore? "I don't care if you tried. Do it." Sounds familiar to me. We hear that throughout our entire lives as well. "Nobody cares about your feelings, you sell!" was a common meme. And in real life, your boss does tend to lay you off indiscriminately for failure, and you get the same message. And that bleeds into your kid's lives after you're defeated by it. And I guess nature itself, not personified as anyone in particular, whom you can never please. In the end it doesn't matter if you succeed or not. One finality is absolute. Maybe it could be hard to tell when that is; but know that it's very distant.
People don't see me as another teenager like them, they only see me for my intellect and nothing else. It's kinda hard to find people who just want to hang out and be friends
Lizzie K Stop doing homework and become “the lazy kid”. That’s what I did for a few years. Then start doing your homework again and let the praise rain down. It looked great to colleges that my freshman year was my worst year, looked like I worked hard to make progress.
I am big picture smart but horrible with details so I have a bad GPA but but got a 5 on the AP world test because I watched the entire crash course multiple times and the test is about big picture so now a bunch of people with way better GPAs than me think I am super smart
Don't forget that there's also that rare occurrence when someone is actually a "smart kid" and not just the "performing kid" or the "active kid" or the "remembering kid", but someone who actually is smart and thinks their own thoughts. They choose their own homework with or without permission, they do what they realise is best and they have the abilities to make connections between knowledge, and to be themselves and accept their faults and improve. They aren't just "the smart kids" just because they have the best grades or because they raise their hands quickly, they're "the smart kids" because they are SMART.
Hah! I’m a weird person then. I’m seen as the ‘smart’ kid throughout my class even though I don’t want them to call me that since I don’t see myself as especially smart but rather interested. I don’t really want to care too much about failing but I am always searching for something else to learn or improve in.
Then you are an actual "smart kid". You are smart enough to understand that you have to learn and improve rather than spend time gathering stress from strangers. Anyone who gets called "the smart kid" without these abilities is just covered with illusions set by those who strive towards something they can't achieve.
9nikolai: You put that quite well. :) When people say to me the usual « you are so smart » I quickly answer with. « I don’t want you to use the word ‘smart’. I am simply interested in something to the point of mastering a part of it. You could have achieved that, and anyone could have. »
An unpopular opinion for all those talking about how terrible being "the smart kid" is: As someone who has been on both ends of the academic spectrum, it's totally fine to be "the smart kid." Frankly, it feels pretty nice. The problem starts when you stop learning and just assume you'll always be the best at everything. That's when you go to high school or college or get a job or whatever and reality hits you in the face. If you're the smart kid in your class, step outside your community and seek out others like you so you can face some real competition and challenge yourself. To all the smart kids out there, maybe you hate it when people think you're smart, but I find it nice. I feel like a lot of the supposed problems smart kids face are brought on by themselves, by worrying too much about what others think of them, or by not actually putting in effort. So stop whining about your stress on RUclips, and go do something about it. I believe in all of you.
@@tomhannah3825 i absolutely agree, i don't believe in the mindset stuff though because i do not feel pressured when people expect high standards of me, however a problem is I've always been lazy, even when i wasn't smart so it's a problem I've got. I think everyone has different natural intelligence levels and as long as you're at least slightly smart then you can achieve anything if you try hard, not all about natural intelligence. I once had a girl in my highschool who was really smart but everyone put pressure onto her and she kept crying from the stress of exams, i was one of those people with high expectations of her, i was always trying to compete against her (even though i was average) but it never came to thought what i was doing to her, i think she would have done a lot better without the stress and now i feel bad about that. anyway i could blabber on about this whole topic but it would take way too long.
@@merrymachiavelli2041 Can't relate to your situation because I've always been a tad egotistic. It's one of my most defining traits. I'm an average student in my area, but my area is unusual. So most of my friends are smarter than me, but I'm smarter than most people in the school / state / country. It's a weird position to be in, but I think it's pretty good because I have a lot of competition while still feeling smart.
I feel like a lot of being the "smart kid" has to do with being smarter than other students your age in elementary. Once you get to high school, other people catch up. Being the smart kid means being praised because your brain's a year or two ahead of your classmates.
@@_hector__ Theres a suprising amount of ppl in public/private school who dont develop their social skills even with the amount of talking opportunities. Very easy to go through school without talking to many people and having lots around you doesnt increase the odds if the person doesnt wanna communicate in the first place
Yeah, I definitely fit this description. Always got called smart, actually did pretty bad at school, judge myself harshly for failing. It's something I work on all the time.
Thank you. This video really speaks to me considering how I failed a year in med school. I'll try to stop worrying about what others think of me and my failure.
the weirdest thing is being the dumb kid who could barely pass algebra 1 in middle school then doing really well on one test bc its the subject you actually like and being inducted to the secluded group of smart kids bc they think you're finally at their level when youre really not. its stressful and my imposter syndrome is crazy, i did well on one test and theres one unit im able to help them with, nothing else. theyre starting to realize this and its worrying me.
Who else gets excited when Sci show videos actually have Hank in them? That's what the people want, man. No offense, but no one does it better. Keep up the good work.
Have u hacked my brain?? U always have answers to the questions I have been unconsciously asking myself or videos about what's currently going in my life. Thanks!!!
Story of my life. I was always the "smart kid" growing up, and as a result of that, not only did I never develop the habit of trying hard to learn things (like what was discussed in the video), but I also feel like a complete idiot if I don't exceed everyone's expectations, which frankly makes it seem pointless to even try. Additionally, being smart was the only thing I was appreciated for (and still is, really), which made me feel like my IQ was my only trait with any value. As one can imagine, that didn't lead to healthy emotional development or good self-esteem.
I was "a smart kid". Telling me that did me zero favors. I'm one of the first people in my family, in 3 generations, to NOT finish my BA. I skated through high school, never learned how to study, etc., and then started drowning in the middle of college. I fell into a severe and extended episode of depression. By the time I was mentally ready to go back to school, my finances had no room.
I was called smart, then my undiagnosed ADHD got me failing and I dropped out cause I hated the repetition of school. Now I've been struggling with the praise and low internalized self worth these imbalances caused during my life
My Advanced Art never called us talented when she praised us. She would say that we were skilled or acknowledged that we worked hard to make our art and I always appreciated that.
I've always been top of my class and my parents praised it when I was younger, but I've always been the incremental mindset, picking up the instruments and teaching others
Was brought up as the "smart" kid, became growth oriented after a rude awakening in the form of a PSAT test. I found out I was handicapped in the areas of mathematics and spatial recognition. I have since recognized that it's ok to not be good at everything, and that I can learn new skills if I am willing to put forth real effort.
Enlightening! I was brought up with lots of praise for my academic and creative achievements but I’ve always strived to push myself (too far) outside my comfort zone. As a kid and young adult, things came very easy for me academically but I was a social outcast. For example, I graduated with a BSc from a US university with a 3.8 gpa when I just turned 21 (I am Dutch, so the language, culture and country were foreign to me). I was caught between the fixed mindset that my environment was trying to reinforce and my own growth mindset. Now that I’m older, acquiring new skills no longer comes as easy to me and I feel like a failure. I was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (what used to be called Aspergers syndrome) at age 48, which helped explain the social awkwardness. This video goes towards helping to explain my negative self-image. So thanks! 👍😅
Wouldn't the two categories also just be easier defined as "talents"(things you do well naturally) and "skills"(things you work on/have to learn)? Just my own theory, not like I'm a psychologist, so it may not be valid. I can identify with the premise of the video, having grown up as one of the 'smart kids', even though I ended up becoming massively jaded with the quality of education and the fact that I was supposed to skip several grades, but then a law/policy got enacted(No Child Left Behind (aka No Child Can Go Ahead)) that prevented it.
Being the "smart kid" was stressful. My IQ in 5th grade was a 125, my reading level was approximately 12th grade, and all my grades were C's, D's, and F's. I never felt the need to put in effort, and I paid dearly for it. Now I'm barely making it by in college. Wish someone had told me about this stuff sooner
Thank you, you really helped me growing up everyone(including me)labeled myself as the smart kid when in reality didn't want to be that one thing i didn't want labels hopefully now I'm better prepared for highschool now.
For me, performing well academically was not about academic success, it was about the control in life I thought I had. (VERY Type-A, by the way.) By flexing my “control” in life, I felt very satisfied. It was my coping strategy for dealing with family and myself. It was a tough lesson to learn that everything cannot be controlled all the time in life. At this point, some may say I developed new skills by adopting an incremental strategy.
I was the smart kid that didn't have to work hard which made me bully bait. Doing well at new things just drew attention to my existence. It taught me to hide who I was
People always told me I'm intelligent and praised me for it. Now I feel such a strong pressure to live up to the expectations that I'm afraid to do anything at all.
Personally growth is always possible, i used to be terrible at maths until i realised by my believing i was bad at it really held me back from my true potential. Now im good at it, as i worked on it. Anyone can advance with any subject with work , and self belief
My school was big enough to the point that there were tiers of smart kids. I was at the highest tier through most of my high school years but then I realized that I needed to have a balance. I became friends with people who were similar to me and I learned to just relax and have fun. And so, I dropped down a tier. I was still one of the "smart" kids but not one of the perfect "smart" kids. But I was (and am) much happier.
Being labeled "the smart kid" led me to fall into a deep depression when my innate abilities were no longer enough to sustain that image, ultimately leading to me dropping out of high school. At 35, still struggling to get through my first undergraduate degree with many stops and starts due to burnout because I'm still figuring out how to study.
And here i thank my mom who made great effort to emphasis work over talent in us, despite all of us siblings being "gifted". Such a healthier education than many of my "professional" teachers
You're talking about mindsets, but I thought it was already pretty clear that people generally do have a natural talent for certain types of activities or abilities, but ALSO that practice or work at it makes you better.
I used to be called "the smart kid"and this did put a lot of pressure upon me with very high expectations from my parents and people around me which eventually led to faliure because no matter how well i do it will never be enough
My own experience as a kid was that adults nurtured what I was already good at with praise ("you're a natural" type) and I steadily improved in those areas, but the areas I struggled in were met with criticism and comparisons to what I already did well. Now as an adult, I'm working on building up the skills I just didn't focus on developing when I was young because they were overshadowed by whatever talent.
This sort of things is the reason I hate finishing everything. If I never get something done, it can never be a failure. I know that being a hard worker is far more important than being intelligent. I wish I could act on that.
As a former college recruiter, he students who perform best are those who are the "B" student and those who are first generation attendees. These are the people who have to work for their grades (study) and who also have "nagging" parents who have their best interest at heart. There are many students who have a lot of responsibilities such as teenage parents, and youngsters who have to look after parents and siblings and hold down jobs. These students have the work ethic! In my opinion are worth more to a company or institution because they get the job done! Being smart has nothing to do with actually work conduct, taking initiative, etc.
This reminds me of my Junior year of HS, when I was section leader for the Euphoneums bringing up two freshman players. Initially, Thomas was the better of the two with Jeremiah lagging behind due to having started on a different instrument. However, Jeremiah was far more receptive to instruction and coaching, so it didn't take long for him to catch up and far surpass Thomas. At the end of that year, Jeremiah had risen so much that he was playing at the same level I was at his grade, which I call a success.
from a young age i was labelled a smart kid but unfortunately this was probably due to not being diagnosed with autism from a young age. since i didnt like to socialize too much and liked learning, i feel like i was labelled incorrectly. i wasnt "smart", i just liked to gain new information about my special interests (which were astronomy and natural disasters). being labelled as naturally smart really took its toll when i got into high school (as it does with a lot of kids who were told they were naturally smart), my grades started taking a hit and i went from having my lowest grades at B+ to a D, sometimes a D-. But thankfully i learned something, i dont remember who told me but it was something along the lines of "try your best, and remember your best always changes depending on what happens in your life because sometimes, all you CAN give is a C- and that's ok!" That phrase didnt stop me from dropping out thanks to depression, anxiety and ptsd (which was diagnosed at around 15?) but i was still better off with that advice. i remember a teacher who really liked to label me as smart once said "this c grade isnt like you. just... try your best, ok?" but in my mind i knew better. i DID try my best for the time and not only did i still pass, but i still learned some slills from it. that's not bad or useless, that's where real intelligence comes from. and hey even though i dropped out im still taking bridging courses into uni and im getting resources for my autism and help for my mental illnesses so thats definitely a step in the right direction! anyway thanks for reading this far! hope you have a great day ^u^
I struggle with this a lot. Even at the university level, I often have being saying "you're the smartest person I know." They mean it as a compliment, but for me it is anxiety inducing. When I'm told that, I feel as if there is this high expectation to do super well. But I too struggle. I too work hard. Sometimes it doesn't go well, but having that expectation only makes it harder.
....oh yeah, as a "smart kid" who has always liked redoing old puzzles and also am constantly concerned about what people think of me. I have _ALWAYS_ been praised for how smart I was. I've always gotten good grades in "the subjects that I was good at" ...except for when I didn't.
Everyone else always thought i was the smart kid, but I never really let it go to my head. We all need to study sometimes, and everyone can do anything, it just takes time
I often wish now that I was never called “smart” because you can’t be “smart” forever and it was absolutely devastating to me in university tbh. I got so anxious over performing well in school that I developed a severe panic disorder that would trigger anytime I felt I was being evaluated. The last four years of my life have been absolutely hellish emotionally and mentally. I’ve been in therapy for a year now, but honestly a lot of my issues over perfectionism have caused me too much grief to fully explain it. Lots of people I used to know kept saying how I should be capable of doing more or better than I was when I was at the point where I just needed to survive my next semester and be able to leave my room without having a breakdown.
I had a lot of trouble being the "smart kid," largely because it felt like that was the only character trait anyone could comment on. Someone would meet me, and inevitably comment "you're really smart." I was so determined to get away from that, I almost dropped out of high school. Wound up graduating college with a 3.8 GPA in a pretty challenging program, but it took a few years of soul searching to really figure it out. By then, I'd stopped being "smart kid," and became "old guy."
I moved from an inner city school where I was known to everyone as the smart kid to a new, high ranking school where I was relatively just average. My first few weeks at the new school I got home and just cried because I wasn’t good enough
In primary school, I was "the smart kid". I was the fastest at maths, advanced in reading, placed well in standardized tests, told I was smart all the time. I was bullied because of it. I would self-harm - smack myself in the head as self-punishment for some perceived failure or misbehavior. By late high school I was struggling with math and other subjects in silence. Everything I remember points to having a fixed mindset. But as I am now, 23, with a love for learning new skills, I definitely have changed to having a growth mindset at some point. Looking back, I think there was a handful of key moments that let me change. When I was very little, I would flick through science textbooks my parents had and look at the illustrations, but I would refuse to read fiction because I thought it was stupid, since it wasn't real. Very obvious logic to a child, obviously flawed to me as an adult. I showed an interest in Harry Potter since my parents were excited about the next book that was coming out, so that was how my parents got me to read my first fiction series. That wasn't one of those key moments. The key moment was when my parents got me to read my second fiction book series. My mother had taken me out to the library, and I couldn't find anything I wanted to borrow. The librarians had a display at the front counter including the first book of John Flanagan's "The Ranger's Apprentice" series. I didn't want anything to do with it when my mum suggested I borrow it, but she persisted and I relented. It only took me a few chapters before I was completely immersed. I had tried something new and found it inherently rewarding. The rest of these key moments proceed along a similar vein - pushing the boundaries of what I knew I liked and finding whole new things to enjoy. Finding a Murderous Math book in my high school reading room, and learning that there was a whole heap of maths that I didn't know. Learning to use a computer, playing various games, and looking at early meme boards led me to a host of new interests. Developing an interest in My Little Pony as a teenaged male helped keep me openminded, and certain fan-made cross-overs led me to whole new genres of games I never thought I'd enjoy. The latest one was when I was learning to drive, and I figured out that I could apply the developments I'd had getting better at Super Hexagon to improving my response time to hazards while driving. This eagerness to learn new things has made my current job in retail a blast. But there are still relics of my old fixed mindset in my psyche. Every time an authority figure expresses disappointment in me, I start crying uncontrollably. I am very frequently anxious about something. If I'm convinced of my position in a argument, it is very difficult to get myself to stop arguing for it, even well past when it stops being relevant or worthwhile discussion.
Totally on the entity side. Got praised a lot for my perfect grades, skipped a class nobody skips in my country (5th grade), I liked redoing the same puzzles as a kid. I've always worried about what people think when I mess up, and I compare my performances a lot... You know what ? It's great. I became excellent at what I was already good at. It makes me want to be good at the new things I try. I have always insisted on one thing until I got as close to perfect as possible. At work, I'm the fastest at what I do. If I'm given a task and can't do it well, I'm angry at myself (even if the result is good enough for my boss). "Everybody fails sometimes" is ok, but people use it too often, to justify the fact they don't care about their job. It's also a go-to excuse to not fix their methods to avoid messing up again. Biggest problem when you hold yourself to super high standards : just like in school, some people think you're sitting on top of the world, sucking dicks... when in reality, you're just chilling, working well and fast. I get praised by management for the performances, and disliked by coworkers (probably thinking I'm here to set their bar higher or something, idunno).
3:00 defintely in the fixed mind set box just how i feel, despite knowing better ( when looking at videogame perfomance for example ) going to college ( mechanical engineering ) for 3 months have made me feel dumber than i ever have and despite knowing that practicing/learning would help i just get frustrated and think about changing to another subject this might be a good time to rectify 18 years of being called smart / not having had to prepare for stuff quite so much
I often think of myself as the smart kid, but I think I'm doing okay. I was worried at first in this video, but reminded myself that i often do try new things. Also, when I'm talking to other students, I always say I'm 'good at school' rather than 'smart', because that's what I believe.
I have a request for a sci show psyche video. Are weddings worth it psychologically? Does spending more or less make people happier? Does it make the couple last longer? Would love to see a video about this, thanks!
I was the smart kid in school. I have a fixed mindsey. Always nervous of failing because my family always had high hopes for me...I was bullied throughout all my school life. I've now dropped out of college 3 times. I can't improve at anything. There's a barrier that won't let me study anymore. I spent all my childhood believing that grades were everything, and now, at age 24...I realized I wasted my entire life.
Take it from me, don't let people call you the smart kid. Because, for me, this is what it led to. Imposter Syndrome, being afraid to fail, feeling SO dumb when asking for help, being expected to know everything and panicking when you don't, everyone has high expectations for you, getting mixed signals from your own parents (getting a lot of praise when you're doing well but A LOT of criticizing when you're doing poorly)
People call me "the smart kid" and i hate it because when people know that, they kinda forget everything else about me and only see me as smart and nothing more
I think the achievement is less affected than your self-image. Admittedly I am in the fixed camp, even though I like the growth mindset better. The fixed mindset makes you dismiss small improvements, and even if you will still practice and improve (nevermind setbacks), you will feel like crap about it until you have achieved the end goal of being a master. In the long run, it makes you feel really shy about picking up a new skill, bad at managing failure and disappointment.
I was always "the smart kid", but too introverted, unmotivated and depressed to ever really be successful in society. I've failed enough in life that my brain always tells me, "why bother, nothing matters". It's a constant struggle for me to do anything really. Stagnation.
It's also really problematic being "the smart kid" when it comes to self esteem. Back in school people would continuously tell me how I was ugly, fat, weird etc... The only positive feedback (or at least envy) I got was for my academic performance. I basically thought that being "smart" was the only thing that made me valuable as a person and that put a lot of pressure on me. It really took some time for me to learn that I was (just like everyone else) inherently valuable as a person and that I have many positive traits beyond being "smart".
I had a friend once who literally quit a new thing because he wasn't immediately good at it. I told him he was crazy of course you are bad at first and you have to keep learning. He told me he knew that but he his emotions still forced him to quit.
I used to be called the smart kid but I never thought I was so it never affected me that much. When I go older I realized I am smart and that academic achievement is all about effort. Kids that had way better grades than me were not "smarter". Just good at remembering stuff or studied harder.
Being the smart kid in high school is a trap. If everyone always tells you you're smart, you begin to base your identity around it, but you also never learn how to teach yourself new skills. So one day your classes catch up to you and you have no idea how to study, so your whole identity gets challenged. It took me years to break the cycle.
Couldn't have said it better. It wasn't until I was already in university that I realised this and it ruined my whole career.
THIS. Being smart and able to breeze through everything is cool until you get to the point where there's something you can't breeze through and you realize "oh no I have no idea how to handle this D:"
Elias E. Yes! I graduated HS with over a 4.0, never needing to study. Got into a good university. Left after 4 semesters with a 1.5 gpa. Finally back at again (current gpa 3.7) but my past brings my cumulative down so much...
Jennifer Herron
This, this is my life in a couple of sentences.
Thank you. I'm in the middle of this in freakin college studying exactly what I want. I have found my people!
I used to be called "smart kid" but I have long since rectified that mindset by becoming intimately familiar with failure
Mood lol
Same.
Same here. Well, I'm still labeled as the "smart" person in most places I go, but that's only because they don't know of my many failures.
Same
You and me both, and probably a lot of us who got hit with that useless label.
I read the title and knew its content already. Living this label is a blight once you hit adulthood and realize you are only slightly above average
Truer words have never been spoken.
The ache...
This, so much this. Not to mention intelligence only gets you so far in the adult world.
What are you on about?
Intelligence is the ability to see what mistakes you could make, and limit the amount of mistakes you do make. This advantage can lead to an easy life. The best advice I have ever heard was given to a dumb child by a smart parent. "Life is hard. I suggest you find a helmet, and hope it fits."
I think being labeled as a “smart kid” is a giant cause of stress, anxiety, and depression for those being labeled. I don’t stress about school because I’m worried about my grades - I’m stressed about school because not getting 100% on everything means I’m failing, at least it does to me and to my peers. If I get an 80% on a test, I’m not praised for trying. I’m bullied for stooping down to the “dumb kid” level. And it sucks.
@@skytower1662 Never happens where I live, in fact bullying is a federal crime (or something like that, but it is a crime). We don't stress ourselves to always get As, we're perfectly fine with a B and whatever. (Or a B-, I'm not American)
Never heard about being bullied for getting low marks... Where I live getting low marks creates a camaradrie lol.
I used to care about grades but over time grades lose all meaning. I now have to force myself to care about grades which sucks.
Girl. I swear to God ppl are so dramatic. I was labeled as the smart kid and I wasn't that stressed. Surround yourself with different ppl and quit telling ppl your grades.
You're not alone.
Don’t let anyone put you in a box, even if that box sounds nice like: the smart kid. We are all so much more.
This is so cringey and sounds like something an edgy teen made while trying to think of inspirational quotes
Okay I'll just stop feeling sad then.
Nihilistic pancakeface don’t let anyone put you into the *troll* box. You don’t have to feel the immense pressure to troll anymore. **hugs**
Hunter Lee it’s not about being happy when you aren’t. Even titles that sound nice like the smart kid can actually be stressful like the video details. Sometimes we can’t even tell what’s stressing us out. Like thinking, “why am I so stressed out about school? I’m the smart kid!” But then you realize it’s actually the problem.
@@AbramSF it comes off a bit different when you change it to "why am i so stressed out about school? I'm the normal kid!" which is what we expect incremental oriented people to think i suppose.
I was the "smart" kid. Whether by natural talent or hard work or both, I don't know. Introverted, shy, VERY anxious, nervous, fragile, sensitive, obviously bullied and harrassed. But constantly praised. But also, the slightest look and/or tone of disappointment when I failed the slightest crushed me.
Today I have all those papers, racked up awards, diplommas, certifications, stuff for my CV...
... For what purpose?
Years later I'm a depressed, anxious, severely mentally ill (that's started spreading to physical symptoms) being, diagnosed at ELEVEN YEARS OLD and I don't feel accomplished. I'm an adult now and I haven't even finished my HS education when I should be finishing university today. While all my younger cousins and other relatives keep thriving on in life and whatnot. Me? I'm just side-eyed, stared at with disappointment, sometimes disgust. Hurtful remarks. Negligence.
I feel empty.
Whenever I hear someone say things like "you're so smart", "don't let your intelligence go to waste", "you could become a doctor or a lawyer", I just feel wrath, sadness, disappointed. People pushing expectations onto me.
It hasn't really helped me in career terms either, and I mean, with how my health has plummeted, I can't even hold a job for god's sake. Not even retail hires me anyway.
I'm not saying you should slack off and become sedentary either. But if you're going to be the smart kid, do it out of your own will, motivation, and passion.
Thank you for this video. I plan on translating it soon; I hope you can accept it.
Keep fighting, for yourself, its never too late to do something, even if its tough. Getting more positive is in fact one of the hardest things to do, but managable. Hope you get better
Hey man how are you doing?
@@jonsnor4313 Heyy, how arw you doing now? :)
It’s been four years since you left this comment, but I swear I could’ve wrote it. I relate to every word you typed so damn much. Only thing I’ve been able to do the last couple years to feel somewhat okay is get back into painting, which I stopped doing at age 12 because people told me I wouldn’t need it since I’d be a lawyer🙃 painting is my escape from reality. It’s my peace. I’m 19, got my GED at 16, and entered college at 17. I have since dropped out do to all the stress + major traumas that happened in my life + an in patient psych hospital stay that resulted in me being very behind in all my classes. I’m just hopeful that maybe someday I get back to college and hopeful that I’ll be able to sell paintings in the meantime
'The Smart Kid' at my middle school went ballistic one day in grade 7, and bit the teacher, tore off his shirt and tie.. (yes, his parents made him wear a tie), and ran through the halls screaming. We never saw him again. Absolute true story. Wherever you are, Roger.. hope you're feeling better.
New Message oh man
@@kiddio7165 Noope, that's me. Wuusuuwhie-
Oh man that's relatable
Not all heroes wear capes
He was probably being abused.
It would be really nice if schools weren't literally designed to treat it as if there were smart, normal, slow, problem and special children. Smart kids are the ones who make districts their bonus grants, anyone else is a happy accident being shuffled towards a workplace they aren't ready for.
Agreed, over half my graduating class barely recalled ANYTHING they had learned just that year, and many barely met the requirements to graduate. I genuinely fear for their success and happiness.
Being the 'smart kid' might seem awesome but it's not. There lots of stress for when you mess up. When I was younger and got a 96 on a test I would literally cry. Thanks for helping me understand this more SciShow Psych.
There's a difference between being known as the "smart kid" and actually being the "smart kid"
I'm the smart kid. I think I'm an idiot because I'm lazy. I make the dumbest mistakes sometimes and laugh them off. If I can remember too, I'll announce all of my mistakes to the entire class because I find them hilarious. I'm also dramatic, annoying, and socially awkward. I'm nobody's friend but I'm perfectly happy with the peace and quiet when I can hear my own thoughts. Also because if I'm near anyone, they can't hear their own thoughts.
@@9nikolai The pressures that come with them are basically the same.
@@davidwillcocks808 Yes, but any reasonable person would know that you don't actually need to do perfectly on any test to prove that you're smart and that in most cases you don't actually need to prove you're smart.
A smart person would also know that it is completely possible to enjoy life without approval from anyone and that even if you want approval, there are better ways to get it than trying to prove you're flawless when nobody is.
@@9nikolaiAll of this is undoubtedly true. The problem is that I think very few people would be that rational. This is most apparent when you consider the age of the people receiving such positive feedback in the form (maybe even exclusively) of high test scores. A teen, despite clearly being intelligent from a learning standpoint, is unlikely to have the emotional intelligence to realise they need not prove anything and will therefore internalise the feedback into their self image at a level that is unhealthy in the long term. The realisations you talk about take a lot of time to reach and will be the most difficult for those who have already developed so much of their self esteem based on their intellect.
It's also important to note that the pressures can come from your own reactions to your results without having any external feedback and that oftentimes one must be 'the smart kid' to be perceived as 'the smart kid' which is why I think that the difference between those two things is almost non-existent. This is why I say the pressures are the same and that I think you have described someone who has developed themselves enough to some to terms with them, something that we should all strive towards.
its even worse when you get called a nerd because you read books during spare time and still get bad grades
It’s probably because you aren’t reading books that can get you good grades in those subjects, like I don’t know
, maybe read a textbook?
I personally think our definition of "smart" in the first place needs to be re-worked. Defining it by grades doesn't really work because one person with an A could've spent no time studying and the other several hours. Not to mention that the person who didn't have to study may not be smart. They may just be better at the skills you often use in school like memorizing and regurgitating info. Not to mention that how things are taught and how the student tries to study or learn has a big effect on their overall learning. (Passive vs active learning) Then there's also the fact that there are a whole bunch of different types of intelligence and school only formerly addresses spacial, linguistic, or mathematical intelligence while ignoring natural, musical, existential, interpersonal, bodily-kinesthetic intelligence, and intra-personal intelligence. They should really try to incorporate that into the curriculum, I think, so people can stop pressuring the smart kids as well as falsely thinking that they themselves might be dumb when they're just better at skills that schools don't test.
@@Divine-sw7cc It would be super hard to consistently cheat enough to get straight As in all your classes. I'd be surprised if you could find even one case. Plus, being the "smart person" isn't just getting good grades in class, it's also being the one that often raises their hand to answer questions, or being the one who ends up doing all the work in group projects, or being the one people look to to answer questions. You can't cheat with those things. Not to say people don't cheat or ever get away with it whether they are "smart" or not, but just that the statistics and sociology suggest that cheating isn't a likely way that a large majority of smart kids get their "smart" label, if any do at all.
@@Vivi_Pallas well, I know my material instead of memorizing it, never cheating, and still get A's. I rarely answer questions despite being the most talkative and the smartest in all my classes. It's possible for smart people to never answer questions. I'm also the most socially awkward, annoying, friendless, and judgemental person in my grade. And physically weakest, too! I've sacrificed a lot, except time because I don't study.
I could ace every single test in the world, if I was given unlimited time to do so. This is most likely true with the vast majority of people. Take a theoretical immortal person (15,000 years old); obviously he would be incredibly intelligent in the area of experience, but would he have the fastest natural processing reflexes(ability to answer every question at lightening speeds)? Probably not. It would probably take him a couple of minutes to find the right info, then process it as the right response.
Exactly. Grades are mostly about effort and partly about whether or not your brain is good at that thing.
I would say I am more of a philosophical person, when it comes to philosophy, I believe I am pretty good at it, also I am good at forming advanced sentences, writing, and I guess I could have something in poetry too
But nah
Lets ignore a type of intelligence that was considered the best frigen gift in one of the most ancient and respected I could say civilisations, that one dude who knows how to mix and remove a buncho symbols is obviously the only smart one in here
Oh also lets ignore the one who knows how to make a nice sculpture and comes up with ideas that can help the class
Or the other one that is amazing at strategy and could help with the school's team for *insert random sport* who could also help the country with military and organising the country and stuff in the future
Lets also ignore that one person who is capable of understanding other people, can help their problems, and sometimes that skill reaches the extend of knowing how be an animal whisperer, which is a skill some people completely lack
Only the symbol boi is worth it
Try being known as the “smart kid” in the extended family. Responsibilities and expectations....
Yep! It's freaking awful! The semester is about to end and all I have is Cs for my classes. Idk what I'm going to tell them
@@ltariku i started college a couple of months ago and i feel you
Ooooooooooooof hard relate on that one. You know how many times I get treated like a human calculator despite not even having an above average arithmetical processing speed? It's annoying
Twenty Seventh Letter
Usually Im methodical when making a decision. Figuring things out and summing it up before coming to a conclusion.
They ask for your opnion, want an instant yes/no answer, and get mad when you introduce conditionals or complications.
Worst part is when they just want you to agree with their conclusion, and try to get you to argue for it,
(If you want a faster travel time, take this route, if you want an ‘easier’ one, take this one)
(Just tell me which one is best.)
@@uss_04 I think that's really the crux of it; they want simple what isn't, and think of me (us) as a tool to achieve that simplicity.
Everyone around me has been calling me smart ever since I was little and I they are probably right. However I feel that I have been banded as some pure genius when really I'm not. All my success seems to be attributed to my 'natural intelligence' and not to all the hard work and effort I actually put into all the thing I do. It somehow feels like my achievements don't have any value.
I guess the moral of the story is think about how you complement others. Even if they are intelligent they are still human and struggle as much as you do.
You forgot the word "think" after "I". "However" should have a comma after it in this context. The word "banded" should be "branded". There should be a comma after "really". A common misconception is that single words or phrases should only use apostrophes when quoted, however, this rule only applies to quotes within quotes. i.e. "test 'test' test." Wrong version of "compliment". "Thing" should be "things".
@@yellowishnesses1138 you are actually incorrect on one point. I did not forget to write "think" after "I", I actually forgot to remove the "I" when deciding to express myself in a different way. As for the spelling mistakes, I am dyslexic and therefore Have a hard time seeing the difference between similar words. This effect is even more noticeable when I know what word it is supposed to be, for example, if I wrote it. I hope you feel really smart for pointing out the spelling and grammatical mistakes of dyslexic non-native English speakers in the comments section of a RUclips video.
@@Oskiirrr I was trying to be ironic. I had the impression that everyone posting their stories had a connection to the feeling of being chipped away. Sorry, didn't mean to offend you, I will try to make my intention more clear in the future.
@@yellowishnesses1138 thank you for understandnig. Sadly irony does not come across well in text based comments.
*branded.Yeah you are smart...
I was the smart kid. I went to an underperforming school where they legally had to build a "gifted" group around me even though I was the only one who had tested into it. During the rest of the school day I finished class work early, so I was praised for sitting still and not disrupting other students. In high school I was still doing my best: finishing early, then staring into space or reading library books under the desk. I didn't socialize or participate in class discussions (not out of arrogance, I just didn't understand how to at that point) and teachers would sometimes ask me to leave. When this happened I would walk to the public library to read books for the rest of the day--so much more fun than just sitting! Then I began staying up at night on the computer in my parents' living room, researching and interacting with people through early blogs and online journals. The internet made the world feel so beautiful and open again. I nearly didn't graduate from high school despite a high GPA, because I was truant at the public library for almost half of my senior year (I didn't understand at the time that it was unacceptable to go off-campus when I had been asked to leave). However, a teacher appealed my case, and I graduated. I scored in the 98th percentile on the SAT and got into one of my top choice universities. It was depressing, so I founded three different social clubs. Life took an upswing when I received a small grant and had the opportunity to organize two software businesses--one was a failure and one became a moderate success. Currently, I am studying Economics at a graduate school in Hong Kong. I cannot believe how I ended up here. What a trip. I learned to apply my intelligence and grow because the system I was in either didn't have room for it or rejected it. I had to grow in order to prove myself in the outside world--there was no window into the future other than what I could create for myself. I am grateful that there was more than one way to become who I wanted to be, and that even though the world wasn't built for "smart" people, it was still possible to find new opportunities to grow with each venture.
just my unsolicited, unscientific opinion, but i think that the growth mindset is the best mindset to have, not because it correlates to better academic achievement, a higher salary, or even success in life, but because i think people with growth mindsets tend to view things not in absolutes, but in compromises. simply put, i think that people with growth mindsets when it comes to learning tend to view life not from a fixed standpoint, but different standpoints, giving them a clearer, nuanced view of life and the world. again, just a dumb, unscientific opinion. i wish researchers can research this too, but it will take so many years to even get a conclusion.
Pro tip. If you're looked at as just "the smart kid" find a way to make that look more like a trait and less like your whole personality. Play a sport or join a weird club. Develope your self as an individual and others will see you differently.
Better yet, ignore what other people think of you. Unless they're great friends, anyone from your high school will be gone from your life in 4 years. Same goes for college. In the long run, the only one who matters is yourself, so just focus on improving that.
Easier said than done.
Your profile pic should say: "No Step on Snek"
In primary school, I was the 'smart kid.' I vividly remember one time I forgot to bring my homework to school. Everyone jeered and made fun, saying things like, "I can't believe SHE forgot. She couldn't do it.." etc. I still remember the humiliation, and worse, the teacher was doing it too. I think this has played a big part in why I'm still afraid of failure, but I soon moved to a class in a different school where everyone around me was just as, or smarter than me, and that helped me grow as a person so that I could actually live normally without people judging me for the tiniest mistakes the whole time.
True story. Another thing I'd like to see studied (which doesn't appear to have been) is the correlation with level of challenge... I've got a near photographic memory, and was always "that smart kid" (and also "that arrogant kid") in school - to the point that I was in 3rd year at University the first time I ever felt the need to study for something (all the while pulling in A/A+ average in pretty much everything I tried - the lowest grade on my high school transcript was still a B in statistics/finite math). You'd think that would have set me up for success but in truth, it taught me that I could phone it in and still be above average. I'm probably the laziest person I know, and I'm certain I could be doing better in business if I'd had to actually learn a work ethic at a younger age.
Same. Trudged water for years because of it. Still just coasting.
This is me aswell.
I don't feel like I can motivate myself to work hard to achieve my goals.
It really frustrates me. A big problem is that other people don't get what is so hard about spending a day doing something I don't like.
I just had the idea to join the military for a couple of months, maybe that can motivate me.
Same here. Now that I'm in university I feel the need of something I should have started years ago: studying properly.
I never done it, just had it easy because I'm curious and like to go deeper and forward, my hoobies when I'm free were always like 60% related to learning something, but in a more relaxed and less strict way than school books, like sci show itself for example.
That pulled me through highschool as being one of the best, but I already had problems with some things I struggled with because being what I am wasn't enough to get near perfect grades in those subjects, so I think that's one of the aspects for my depression to develop, too strict and demanding of myself, and very little tolerant to frustration and failure, I even named it, although I admit people usually misinterpret when hear the word "perfectionism".
Today I truly hate being called smart, it feeds that fixed mindset of perfectionism, and if I really want to live properly in the future and not kill myself before that, I need to learn to understand fails and value them more than the successes I have.
@@Ludix147 I had that idea when I was younger. They wouldn't let me join because I had wonky feet... 15 years later and I've almost got my medical degree. Still don't feel very motivated.
You put a challenge in front of me and I'll attack it like a wild psychopath, physically and mentally overexerting myself to overcome it.
You set a performance standard in front of me and I will trudge through it with the absolute minimum of exertion possible. They don't pay me more if I work harder, they just make my life harder in return.
I always did well in school but I was very insecure and now i feel pressure to be better because people assumed, that i'll do great in every test. Exept for my mum. She loves me anyways but the fear of failure is my daily companion.
Well, it's the opposite for me. My friends think that I'll botch the test and my mom expects me to come home with straight As
I used to be “smart kid” now i am narcissistic failure...
I was always praised for my skills and exceptional abilities as a child, but no matter how I tried, I was scolded for being lazy and not trying hard enough. ...Long story short, I have more mental disorders than you can count on one hand.
I was the "smart kid" up until the ninth grade, at which point I had a massive concussion on the third day of school. It's very difficult to have anything resembling good mental health when the one trait you defined yourself by is gone.
damn how did uoi hit uo head?
couple of decades too late for me.
i think thanks to this, i have a very serious problem with commitment to an activity. i get all fired up when i'm learning but when i notice i'm doing well i go "welp, seems i could master this pretty easily if i kept going. heck, maybe i could even be among the best. point proven, time to find the next thing". So i have a very wide range of unsharpened skills at my disposal.
that goes from a work skill to simple stuff like games or physical activities. for example, pushing myself to run / bike far. start at 20~km in an hour, end up doing 4 hour sessions for over 100km within a few weeks. then once i have proven to myself that i can improve that much, i just lose all my will to continue doing it. i already know i _could_ after all, which is all that seems to drive me in the first place. proving me to myself. also the feeling of improvement, which is obviously fastest when you're starting
can relate quite a lot
i can do well in almost all videogames that are popular for example but i never go past the top 1%
or when there is a new topic in college / school i always do extremely well in the beginning and end up average after a couple of weeks later when everyone else learned properly while i just coasted trying something else thats new in my free time
Nice icon! Or avatar. Whatever, the Cacodemon.
Doesnt tricking yourself to care a bit less works a bit, or viewing a bit like a serious game to get the stress out?
Physical training can be tricky to motivate youself to keep up. And really works better when you have a training buddy. Or swimming which is fun because i can get my mind off, and no sweating.
Still I am no one to talk. Finding motivations is really hard. Self discipline too. Or sticking to something, where you would need a fun challenging group to go to.
People called me smart when i was younger, i now hate that they did. Due to this when i was a young teen i was afraid of failure, however i'm starting to finally improve now i'm 18. I try and put my hand up when a teacher asks a question, even if i'm not 100% sure i'm right. If i am right, then great it helps my self esteem. If i'm wrong, well it's humbling and i see it as an opportunity to learn. I was always afraid people would think i was dumb if i answered wrong, but other people care as little as i do when someone answers wrong.
Don't be the kid who just thinks like they know it all already and doesn't pay attention in class. You don't know it all (unless you're getting perfect scores on your tests that is), and chances are that you're not any smarter than the people around you. More than 50% of people think that they're smarter than average, which is impossible. so pay attention in class. Doesn't matter if you're good or bad at a subject, everyone can improve their grade with enough effort.
And if you're one of the people who's afraid of failure, don't worry most people are. Just remember, you're in school to learn the things you don't know. And in life in general, most people are just kind of winging it. Personally i have 0 clue what i'm doing,
I can be called the 'smart kid', only in certain classes though. I raise my hands a lot and usually get somewhat good grades. I would say I'm more incremental, a growth mind set. I don't really care what people say when I get worse grades then I usually do, everyone fails sometimes. I don't like being put on a higher branch as someone who isn't though, it really a lot of times come to how you were raised and I was fortunate enough to live in a house where academic skills isn't everything and trying new things is highly praised. My parents give me good feedback on good things and it's true that sometimes they pride me on how smart me and my brother are but usually they'll give us both negative and positive feed back. Like "Oh this is really good but you could make it better buy doing..." and yeah sometimes it's good to be praised completely but don't raise them to have Golden Child Syndrome.
3:48 growth mindset can make me better at math but not necessarily make me start enjoying it.
PERSONAL ANECDOTE.
Ever heard "It's not to my standard." When you tried to clean a room or do a chore? "I don't care if you tried. Do it." Sounds familiar to me. We hear that throughout our entire lives as well. "Nobody cares about your feelings, you sell!" was a common meme. And in real life, your boss does tend to lay you off indiscriminately for failure, and you get the same message.
And that bleeds into your kid's lives after you're defeated by it. And I guess nature itself, not personified as anyone in particular, whom you can never please. In the end it doesn't matter if you succeed or not. One finality is absolute. Maybe it could be hard to tell when that is; but know that it's very distant.
I'm considered a "smart" kid and I hate it
Lizzie K weird flex but ok
you can't call yourself smart on the internet
Same here
People don't see me as another teenager like them, they only see me for my intellect and nothing else. It's kinda hard to find people who just want to hang out and be friends
Lizzie K Stop doing homework and become “the lazy kid”. That’s what I did for a few years. Then start doing your homework again and let the praise rain down.
It looked great to colleges that my freshman year was my worst year, looked like I worked hard to make progress.
I am big picture smart but horrible with details so I have a bad GPA but but got a 5 on the AP world test because I watched the entire crash course multiple times and the test is about big picture so now a bunch of people with way better GPAs than me think I am super smart
I mean who wouldn't want to be like hank
I would love to be more like Hank like if you want to be like Hank
@@summerforest3867 ill do it if you do it
Don't forget that there's also that rare occurrence when someone is actually a "smart kid" and not just the "performing kid" or the "active kid" or the "remembering kid", but someone who actually is smart and thinks their own thoughts. They choose their own homework with or without permission, they do what they realise is best and they have the abilities to make connections between knowledge, and to be themselves and accept their faults and improve.
They aren't just "the smart kids" just because they have the best grades or because they raise their hands quickly, they're "the smart kids" because they are SMART.
Hah! I’m a weird person then. I’m seen as the ‘smart’ kid throughout my class even though I don’t want them to call me that since I don’t see myself as especially smart but rather interested. I don’t really want to care too much about failing but I am always searching for something else to learn or improve in.
Then you are an actual "smart kid". You are smart enough to understand that you have to learn and improve rather than spend time gathering stress from strangers. Anyone who gets called "the smart kid" without these abilities is just covered with illusions set by those who strive towards something they can't achieve.
9nikolai: You put that quite well. :)
When people say to me the usual « you are so smart » I quickly answer with. « I don’t want you to use the word ‘smart’. I am simply interested in something to the point of mastering a part of it. You could have achieved that, and anyone could have. »
The videos in the Up Next bar scare me...
Oh no I looked
I saw it and I was like, why is this here...
There's only 3 videos in mine. One's got cyrillic text in the title and another is Baldi's Basics
WTF RUclips algorithm
Mine shows some kid with a deformed mouth drowning in a pool while apparently eating $4 million.
An unpopular opinion for all those talking about how terrible being "the smart kid" is:
As someone who has been on both ends of the academic spectrum, it's totally fine to be "the smart kid." Frankly, it feels pretty nice. The problem starts when you stop learning and just assume you'll always be the best at everything. That's when you go to high school or college or get a job or whatever and reality hits you in the face. If you're the smart kid in your class, step outside your community and seek out others like you so you can face some real competition and challenge yourself.
To all the smart kids out there, maybe you hate it when people think you're smart, but I find it nice. I feel like a lot of the supposed problems smart kids face are brought on by themselves, by worrying too much about what others think of them, or by not actually putting in effort. So stop whining about your stress on RUclips, and go do something about it. I believe in all of you.
Agree. I still think of myself as the smart one, at 64, and it's nice. It helps me in poverty and when people diss me.
@@tomhannah3825 i absolutely agree, i don't believe in the mindset stuff though because i do not feel pressured when people expect high standards of me, however a problem is I've always been lazy, even when i wasn't smart so it's a problem I've got. I think everyone has different natural intelligence levels and as long as you're at least slightly smart then you can achieve anything if you try hard, not all about natural intelligence.
I once had a girl in my highschool who was really smart but everyone put pressure onto her and she kept crying from the stress of exams, i was one of those people with high expectations of her, i was always trying to compete against her (even though i was average) but it never came to thought what i was doing to her, i think she would have done a lot better without the stress and now i feel bad about that.
anyway i could blabber on about this whole topic but it would take way too long.
+Irina Blitz I can sympathise with the 'both ends of the spectrum' thing. Probably mostly due to dyslexia, when I was a child (
@@merrymachiavelli2041 Can't relate to your situation because I've always been a tad egotistic. It's one of my most defining traits.
I'm an average student in my area, but my area is unusual. So most of my friends are smarter than me, but I'm smarter than most people in the school / state / country. It's a weird position to be in, but I think it's pretty good because I have a lot of competition while still feeling smart.
@@jennali9800 Being the smart kids help early. But use it for something. You define the thing you use it for.
I feel like a lot of being the "smart kid" has to do with being smarter than other students your age in elementary. Once you get to high school, other people catch up. Being the smart kid means being praised because your brain's a year or two ahead of your classmates.
I was homeschooled
Haha Gottem
Yeah lol, gottem social skills
@@_hector__ Theres a suprising amount of ppl in public/private school who dont develop their social skills even with the amount of talking opportunities. Very easy to go through school without talking to many people and having lots around you doesnt increase the odds if the person doesnt wanna communicate in the first place
@@KingButcher Yup but its still better than nothing. Exceptions and predetermined factors don't make a good argument.
@@_hector__ Although i wouldnt say homeschool is "nothing" as you can choose who you want to talk to and when (depending on their time too of course)
@@KingButcher All this time you've been splitting hairs lol
Yeah, I definitely fit this description. Always got called smart, actually did pretty bad at school, judge myself harshly for failing.
It's something I work on all the time.
I am labeled as the smart kid and it really gives me a lot more stress than I should have, thank you for speaking about this.
I'm called the smart kid despite my grades never being above 3.0 in middle and currenty, high school.
I don't even know what to do at this point
Thank you. This video really speaks to me considering how I failed a year in med school. I'll try to stop worrying about what others think of me and my failure.
Fixed mindset: Character classes. Incremental mindset: EXP purchase systems. I prefer the latter.
the weirdest thing is being the dumb kid who could barely pass algebra 1 in middle school then doing really well on one test bc its the subject you actually like and being inducted to the secluded group of smart kids bc they think you're finally at their level when youre really not. its stressful and my imposter syndrome is crazy, i did well on one test and theres one unit im able to help them with, nothing else. theyre starting to realize this and its worrying me.
Who else gets excited when Sci show videos actually have Hank in them? That's what the people want, man. No offense, but no one does it better. Keep up the good work.
Have u hacked my brain??
U always have answers to the questions I have been unconsciously asking myself or videos about what's currently going in my life.
Thanks!!!
Story of my life. I was always the "smart kid" growing up, and as a result of that, not only did I never develop the habit of trying hard to learn things (like what was discussed in the video), but I also feel like a complete idiot if I don't exceed everyone's expectations, which frankly makes it seem pointless to even try. Additionally, being smart was the only thing I was appreciated for (and still is, really), which made me feel like my IQ was my only trait with any value. As one can imagine, that didn't lead to healthy emotional development or good self-esteem.
I was "a smart kid". Telling me that did me zero favors. I'm one of the first people in my family, in 3 generations, to NOT finish my BA. I skated through high school, never learned how to study, etc., and then started drowning in the middle of college. I fell into a severe and extended episode of depression. By the time I was mentally ready to go back to school, my finances had no room.
I was called smart, then my undiagnosed ADHD got me failing and I dropped out cause I hated the repetition of school. Now I've been struggling with the praise and low internalized self worth these imbalances caused during my life
My Advanced Art never called us talented when she praised us. She would say that we were skilled or acknowledged that we worked hard to make our art and I always appreciated that.
I've always been top of my class and my parents praised it when I was younger, but I've always been the incremental mindset, picking up the instruments and teaching others
Was brought up as the "smart" kid, became growth oriented after a rude awakening in the form of a PSAT test. I found out I was handicapped in the areas of mathematics and spatial recognition. I have since recognized that it's ok to not be good at everything, and that I can learn new skills if I am willing to put forth real effort.
Enlightening! I was brought up with lots of praise for my academic and creative achievements but I’ve always strived to push myself (too far) outside my comfort zone. As a kid and young adult, things came very easy for me academically but I was a social outcast. For example, I graduated with a BSc from a US university with a 3.8 gpa when I just turned 21 (I am Dutch, so the language, culture and country were foreign to me). I was caught between the fixed mindset that my environment was trying to reinforce and my own growth mindset. Now that I’m older, acquiring new skills no longer comes as easy to me and I feel like a failure. I was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (what used to be called Aspergers syndrome) at age 48, which helped explain the social awkwardness. This video goes towards helping to explain my negative self-image. So thanks! 👍😅
Wouldn't the two categories also just be easier defined as "talents"(things you do well naturally) and "skills"(things you work on/have to learn)? Just my own theory, not like I'm a psychologist, so it may not be valid. I can identify with the premise of the video, having grown up as one of the 'smart kids', even though I ended up becoming massively jaded with the quality of education and the fact that I was supposed to skip several grades, but then a law/policy got enacted(No Child Left Behind (aka No Child Can Go Ahead)) that prevented it.
_"things you do well naturally"_
We're not supposed to talk about that.
Being the "smart kid" was stressful. My IQ in 5th grade was a 125, my reading level was approximately 12th grade, and all my grades were C's, D's, and F's. I never felt the need to put in effort, and I paid dearly for it. Now I'm barely making it by in college. Wish someone had told me about this stuff sooner
Thank you, you really helped me growing up everyone(including me)labeled myself as the smart kid when in reality didn't want to be that one thing i didn't want labels hopefully now I'm better prepared for highschool now.
What if you believed that both were true? A predisposition to excel doesn't mean you can't improve with effort. They're not mutually exclusive.
For me, performing well academically was not about academic success, it was about the control in life I thought I had. (VERY Type-A, by the way.) By flexing my “control” in life, I felt very satisfied. It was my coping strategy for dealing with family and myself. It was a tough lesson to learn that everything cannot be controlled all the time in life. At this point, some may say I developed new skills by adopting an incremental strategy.
It wasn't fun being picked on, but so sweet when they realized that they needed my help.
I was the smart kid that didn't have to work hard which made me bully bait.
Doing well at new things just drew attention to my existence. It taught me to hide who I was
"Incremental orientation" makes a lot more sense to me than "growth mindset." Thanks for that perspective.
People always told me I'm intelligent and praised me for it. Now I feel such a strong pressure to live up to the expectations that I'm afraid to do anything at all.
I had to learn this as an adult and it’s definitely something I’ll be teaching my kids from the moment they start learning things.
An important lessin, it is alright to fail.
Thank you so much for shaping the thoughts into words.
Personally growth is always possible, i used to be terrible at maths until i realised by my believing i was bad at it really held me back from my true potential. Now im good at it, as i worked on it. Anyone can advance with any subject with work , and self belief
My school was big enough to the point that there were tiers of smart kids. I was at the highest tier through most of my high school years but then I realized that I needed to have a balance. I became friends with people who were similar to me and I learned to just relax and have fun. And so, I dropped down a tier. I was still one of the "smart" kids but not one of the perfect "smart" kids. But I was (and am) much happier.
Being labeled "the smart kid" led me to fall into a deep depression when my innate abilities were no longer enough to sustain that image, ultimately leading to me dropping out of high school. At 35, still struggling to get through my first undergraduate degree with many stops and starts due to burnout because I'm still figuring out how to study.
i needed this episode. thank you
And here i thank my mom who made great effort to emphasis work over talent in us, despite all of us siblings being "gifted".
Such a healthier education than many of my "professional" teachers
Smart kid = hella more anxiety. So.. I think it's obvious which sort of praise is more important
You're talking about mindsets, but I thought it was already pretty clear that people generally do have a natural talent for certain types of activities or abilities, but ALSO that practice or work at it makes you better.
the latter half of my teenage years was all about shifting from the smart kid mentality to the incremental growth mindset
I used to be called "the smart kid"and this did put a lot of pressure upon me with very high expectations from my parents and people around me which eventually led to faliure because no matter how well i do it will never be enough
The end of this video made me feel a little bit less bad about my bad Dutch grades. Thank you Scishow!!!!!!!!!
My own experience as a kid was that adults nurtured what I was already good at with praise ("you're a natural" type) and I steadily improved in those areas, but the areas I struggled in were met with criticism and comparisons to what I already did well. Now as an adult, I'm working on building up the skills I just didn't focus on developing when I was young because they were overshadowed by whatever talent.
This sort of things is the reason I hate finishing everything. If I never get something done, it can never be a failure. I know that being a hard worker is far more important than being intelligent. I wish I could act on that.
As a former college recruiter, he students who perform best are those who are the "B" student and those who are first generation attendees. These are the people who have to work for their grades (study) and who also have "nagging" parents who have their best interest at heart. There are many students who have a lot of responsibilities such as teenage parents, and youngsters who have to look after parents and siblings and hold down jobs. These students have the work ethic! In my opinion are worth more to a company or institution because they get the job done! Being smart has nothing to do with actually work conduct, taking initiative, etc.
This reminds me of my Junior year of HS, when I was section leader for the Euphoneums bringing up two freshman players. Initially, Thomas was the better of the two with Jeremiah lagging behind due to having started on a different instrument. However, Jeremiah was far more receptive to instruction and coaching, so it didn't take long for him to catch up and far surpass Thomas. At the end of that year, Jeremiah had risen so much that he was playing at the same level I was at his grade, which I call a success.
from a young age i was labelled a smart kid but unfortunately this was probably due to not being diagnosed with autism from a young age.
since i didnt like to socialize too much and liked learning, i feel like i was labelled incorrectly. i wasnt "smart", i just liked to gain new information about my special interests (which were astronomy and natural disasters).
being labelled as naturally smart really took its toll when i got into high school (as it does with a lot of kids who were told they were naturally smart), my grades started taking a hit and i went from having my lowest grades at B+ to a D, sometimes a D-.
But thankfully i learned something, i dont remember who told me but it was something along the lines of
"try your best, and remember your best always changes depending on what happens in your life because sometimes, all you CAN give is a C- and that's ok!"
That phrase didnt stop me from dropping out thanks to depression, anxiety and ptsd (which was diagnosed at around 15?) but i was still better off with that advice. i remember a teacher who really liked to label me as smart once said "this c grade isnt like you. just... try your best, ok?" but in my mind i knew better. i DID try my best for the time and not only did i still pass, but i still learned some slills from it. that's not bad or useless, that's where real intelligence comes from.
and hey even though i dropped out im still taking bridging courses into uni and im getting resources for my autism and help for my mental illnesses so thats definitely a step in the right direction!
anyway thanks for reading this far! hope you have a great day ^u^
I struggle with this a lot. Even at the university level, I often have being saying "you're the smartest person I know." They mean it as a compliment, but for me it is anxiety inducing. When I'm told that, I feel as if there is this high expectation to do super well. But I too struggle. I too work hard. Sometimes it doesn't go well, but having that expectation only makes it harder.
....oh
yeah, as a "smart kid" who has always liked redoing old puzzles and also am constantly concerned about what people think of me.
I have _ALWAYS_ been praised for how smart I was.
I've always gotten good grades in "the subjects that I was good at"
...except for when I didn't.
Everyone else always thought i was the smart kid, but I never really let it go to my head. We all need to study sometimes, and everyone can do anything, it just takes time
I often wish now that I was never called “smart” because you can’t be “smart” forever and it was absolutely devastating to me in university tbh. I got so anxious over performing well in school that I developed a severe panic disorder that would trigger anytime I felt I was being evaluated. The last four years of my life have been absolutely hellish emotionally and mentally.
I’ve been in therapy for a year now, but honestly a lot of my issues over perfectionism have caused me too much grief to fully explain it. Lots of people I used to know kept saying how I should be capable of doing more or better than I was when I was at the point where I just needed to survive my next semester and be able to leave my room without having a breakdown.
I had a lot of trouble being the "smart kid," largely because it felt like that was the only character trait anyone could comment on. Someone would meet me, and inevitably comment "you're really smart." I was so determined to get away from that, I almost dropped out of high school. Wound up graduating college with a 3.8 GPA in a pretty challenging program, but it took a few years of soul searching to really figure it out. By then, I'd stopped being "smart kid," and became "old guy."
I moved from an inner city school where I was known to everyone as the smart kid to a new, high ranking school where I was relatively just average. My first few weeks at the new school I got home and just cried because I wasn’t good enough
In primary school, I was "the smart kid". I was the fastest at maths, advanced in reading, placed well in standardized tests, told I was smart all the time. I was bullied because of it. I would self-harm - smack myself in the head as self-punishment for some perceived failure or misbehavior. By late high school I was struggling with math and other subjects in silence. Everything I remember points to having a fixed mindset. But as I am now, 23, with a love for learning new skills, I definitely have changed to having a growth mindset at some point. Looking back, I think there was a handful of key moments that let me change.
When I was very little, I would flick through science textbooks my parents had and look at the illustrations, but I would refuse to read fiction because I thought it was stupid, since it wasn't real. Very obvious logic to a child, obviously flawed to me as an adult. I showed an interest in Harry Potter since my parents were excited about the next book that was coming out, so that was how my parents got me to read my first fiction series. That wasn't one of those key moments. The key moment was when my parents got me to read my second fiction book series. My mother had taken me out to the library, and I couldn't find anything I wanted to borrow. The librarians had a display at the front counter including the first book of John Flanagan's "The Ranger's Apprentice" series. I didn't want anything to do with it when my mum suggested I borrow it, but she persisted and I relented. It only took me a few chapters before I was completely immersed. I had tried something new and found it inherently rewarding.
The rest of these key moments proceed along a similar vein - pushing the boundaries of what I knew I liked and finding whole new things to enjoy. Finding a Murderous Math book in my high school reading room, and learning that there was a whole heap of maths that I didn't know. Learning to use a computer, playing various games, and looking at early meme boards led me to a host of new interests. Developing an interest in My Little Pony as a teenaged male helped keep me openminded, and certain fan-made cross-overs led me to whole new genres of games I never thought I'd enjoy. The latest one was when I was learning to drive, and I figured out that I could apply the developments I'd had getting better at Super Hexagon to improving my response time to hazards while driving.
This eagerness to learn new things has made my current job in retail a blast. But there are still relics of my old fixed mindset in my psyche. Every time an authority figure expresses disappointment in me, I start crying uncontrollably. I am very frequently anxious about something. If I'm convinced of my position in a argument, it is very difficult to get myself to stop arguing for it, even well past when it stops being relevant or worthwhile discussion.
Totally on the entity side.
Got praised a lot for my perfect grades, skipped a class nobody skips in my country (5th grade), I liked redoing the same puzzles as a kid. I've always worried about what people think when I mess up, and I compare my performances a lot...
You know what ? It's great. I became excellent at what I was already good at. It makes me want to be good at the new things I try. I have always insisted on one thing until I got as close to perfect as possible. At work, I'm the fastest at what I do. If I'm given a task and can't do it well, I'm angry at myself (even if the result is good enough for my boss).
"Everybody fails sometimes" is ok, but people use it too often, to justify the fact they don't care about their job. It's also a go-to excuse to not fix their methods to avoid messing up again.
Biggest problem when you hold yourself to super high standards : just like in school, some people think you're sitting on top of the world, sucking dicks... when in reality, you're just chilling, working well and fast. I get praised by management for the performances, and disliked by coworkers (probably thinking I'm here to set their bar higher or something, idunno).
3:00 defintely in the fixed mind set box
just how i feel, despite knowing better ( when looking at videogame perfomance for example )
going to college ( mechanical engineering ) for 3 months have made me feel dumber than i ever have
and despite knowing that practicing/learning would help i just get frustrated and think about changing to another subject
this might be a good time to rectify 18 years of being called smart / not having had to prepare for stuff quite so much
I am regarded as one of the smart kids, but I actually don’t want people to say that, because is you rise up, you’ve got a long way to fall...
I often think of myself as the smart kid, but I think I'm doing okay. I was worried at first in this video, but reminded myself that i often do try new things. Also, when I'm talking to other students, I always say I'm 'good at school' rather than 'smart', because that's what I believe.
I have a request for a sci show psyche video. Are weddings worth it psychologically? Does spending more or less make people happier? Does it make the couple last longer? Would love to see a video about this, thanks!
I was the smart kid in school. I have a fixed mindsey. Always nervous of failing because my family always had high hopes for me...I was bullied throughout all my school life.
I've now dropped out of college 3 times. I can't improve at anything. There's a barrier that won't let me study anymore. I spent all my childhood believing that grades were everything, and now, at age 24...I realized I wasted my entire life.
Take it from me, don't let people call you the smart kid.
Because, for me, this is what it led to.
Imposter Syndrome, being afraid to fail, feeling SO dumb when asking for help, being expected to know everything and panicking when you don't, everyone has high expectations for you, getting mixed signals from your own parents (getting a lot of praise when you're doing well but A LOT of criticizing when you're doing poorly)
People call me "the smart kid" and i hate it because when people know that, they kinda forget everything else about me and only see me as smart and nothing more
I'm the silent cool art kid
who plays the violin and piano
good at literature
yet never gets high scores
and a reble at heart
I think the achievement is less affected than your self-image. Admittedly I am in the fixed camp, even though I like the growth mindset better. The fixed mindset makes you dismiss small improvements, and even if you will still practice and improve (nevermind setbacks), you will feel like crap about it until you have achieved the end goal of being a master. In the long run, it makes you feel really shy about picking up a new skill, bad at managing failure and disappointment.
I was always "the smart kid", but too introverted, unmotivated and depressed to ever really be successful in society. I've failed enough in life that my brain always tells me, "why bother, nothing matters". It's a constant struggle for me to do anything really. Stagnation.
It's also really problematic being "the smart kid" when it comes to self esteem. Back in school people would continuously tell me how I was ugly, fat, weird etc... The only positive feedback (or at least envy) I got was for my academic performance. I basically thought that being "smart" was the only thing that made me valuable as a person and that put a lot of pressure on me. It really took some time for me to learn that I was (just like everyone else) inherently valuable as a person and that I have many positive traits beyond being "smart".
I had a friend once who literally quit a new thing because he wasn't immediately good at it. I told him he was crazy of course you are bad at first and you have to keep learning. He told me he knew that but he his emotions still forced him to quit.
I'm gonna do my best to praise both the achievements and the effort of my kids if I ever become a parent.
I used to be called the smart kid but I never thought I was so it never affected me that much. When I go older I realized I am smart and that academic achievement is all about effort. Kids that had way better grades than me were not "smarter". Just good at remembering stuff or studied harder.