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1. Life is not a meritocracy 2. You have to ask for something. People won’t figure it out on their own. 3. Regret is worse than failure. 4. Sometimes there is no right choice/answer. 5. Change is inevitable. 6. You shouldn’t always take the easy way. 7. If it won’t matter in 5 years, don’t spend 5 minutes being upset by it. 8. Somebody is always going to have more than you. 9. You are responsible for your happiness. You’re welcome.
I think that I must come from a long line of wise women. I am 69 now. Many years ago, my grandmother told me to look at a situation that was bothering me and ask myself if it is going to bother me when I am on my deathbed. If the answer is no, as it usually was, then let it go. From my mother, I learned about change. When I told her that I wasn't sure that I could have handled the difficult cancer treatments she was going through with as much grace as she had.... she said simply, "I can go through anything if I know it will end. And everything ends!" She went on to live 13 years after the doctors said she only had weeks to live. I feel blessed to have had both those women in my life.
Your mother might have read Saint Teresa of Avila. Let nothing disturb you. Let nothing make you afraid. All things are passing. God alone never changes. Patience gains all things. If you have God, you will want for nothing. God alone suffices.
My Mother never told me this but I’ve learned it! Lots of great advice on here ! I’ve always had a tough time asking for help , my Brothers told me. To figure things out . This year I began writing a children’s book Corky the Quirky Pony and hoping it gives me extra income . I enjoy creating the books.
Your learning because your alive, 59, more life and wisdom comes every year some good and of course some not so good, I’m 83 I’ve learned and still learning.
I believe that it was Oscar Wilde who said: "If you ever feel disappointed about not getting something you wanted, just think of all the things that you don't want, and didn't get."
I am close to your age and I have two college aged sons. When they were little I told them our three family rules. They have both often let me know how helpful they have been. 1. Be a good guy. You know when you are a jerk. Don’t do it. You will regret it. 2. Always do your best. It is your time to either waste or utilize to its fullest. If you have to *fill in the blank* anyway - might as well do your best. 3. Make your own fun. It is no one’s responsibility to entertain you. Wherever you are or whatever you are doing - participate! Bonus: If you have to do the dishes - it means you had food. If you have to clean your house - it means you have a house. If you have to walk the dog - you get it. Nice video sharing your wisdom. ❤
I worked for a large urban hospital for 40 years. My work ethic was over the top- unpaid overtime, carried a pager constantly, etc. In the end It was not worth it at all. Never be married to your job.
I am actively trying to let my younger co- workers know this, and they are seeing first hand the treatment that I personally am getting from my employer. My advice to them is not to build his dream, build theirs.... find something you can make money doing that you enjoy.
Happiness = gratitude. I am happy with simple things like a sunny day, petting my cat, enjoying a good cup of coffee in the morning. There is a long list of things that don't cost money. We just need to be aware of them.
I traveled the world and I keep in mind that there’s many more people in the world that don’t have a bed or peace to rest during the night, than those who do have. This is the very first thing I’m grateful for every morning. Everything else is grace.
My hard truth: everything comes down to money. Have a health issue? Money can fix that, or if not, get you a comfortable death. Need food/shelter? Money. Want to travel? Money. I have been poor and rich, and the latter is a million times better. Anyone who says "money doesn't buy happiness" has clearly never experienced poverty.
i'm myself more on the poor side, and while your not wrong, i think what people often forget is that there is no security, not even in money. and people WITH money (i lived in shared flats for 23 years now and had all kinds of flatmates) are very often not prepared for that. that's a tiny positive in being used to having no safety net, right?
While I agree that money makes things better it doesn't solve every problem. It isn't the end of all end. I lived in poverty at one point. I was even homeless for a short stint. Yes, going through that difficult time in my life was hard. Yet, I remember walking down the street realizing that at that moment I had only the clothes on my back and myself and what bubbled up through my fear was exhilaration. My thought was that the only way was up from there and I was starting all over again with a clean slate. It proved to be true! I had so many pretty cool experiences on my way back to a "normal" life. The thing is, even now I live comfortably but I still don't have a lot of money. What I enjoy the most when it comes to living with less money is my ability to be more creative...which I am. I take better care of myself, and I've done so much more than I thought I ever would have and it's all because I went through grief years ago, quit my job, and ended up with no money. Obviously, you can't sustain a life without money, but I know first-hand that you can survive and even thrive with not a lot of money. So, I don't believe that everything comes down to money. What everything comes down to is you and the hard truths of this video, especially #9: You are the only one responsible for your own happiness. 😊
This topic just came up with a friend last week. I told her that for me, money buys happiness because it provides financial security, reduced stress, freedom and options. She seemed disgusted by this. I've been at both ends of the spectrum (thankfully, I'm at the plentiful end now) and I know for a fact that money can indeed buy happiness.
@@KathleenMcNe i see no reaon to show disgust to sb, who finds a way to feel secure. seems strange, to think we all would feel the same way. i for example find security in the people around me who i can rely on.
Hi Nancy Good morning. I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this complement. If you don’t mind can we be friends? Thanks God bless you….🌺🌺🌺
All the people that promise to stay in touch, when you leave a long term work place, don’t. No matter how much you are friends in the workplace, make sure to have real friends, outside the workplace. It took me about 5 years and I finally gave up on being the one to connect and try and stay in touch. Thankfully I have real friends that are part of my real life. Also, your work will never miss you, once you are gone, you fade. I volunteer now and we have had two sudden deaths within our team in the last few months. Both were much liked people. No one, ever, talks about them now, because no one thinks about them. I am sure their real friends and family do. Work is work. It pays the bills, is a necessity which we hopefully mostly enjoy.
Yep. At my job, this woman was the life of the party. She left for another job after working at my job for 13 years…Once she left, it was as if she had never been there; no one even mentions her name…Talk about out of sight, out of mind!
I would like to add that it's important to frequently stay in touch with your real, non-career friends. Work friends are usually temporary friends, and you spend so much time with them that it's hard to remember that. If the only thing you have in common with them is work, then they won't be around when you move on from your job.
3 месяца назад+28
We’re the same age. I retired two years ago and I’m happy and satisfied. Since I retired, my brother died (my age), my brother in law (my age) died, my four dogs died and two months ago, my friend died at 32! Live NOW! Don’t wait!!
When I was 53 I lost my job of 32 years. I was budged out. I took that time to finally get my Bachelor degree. I could not find a job. Ageism is a real thing. It took me almost 10 years to find a position suited for me with a livable wage. My salary is about 40% less, but it a work from home position and why less stress.
I found out the hard way that hard work, loyalty and doing favors for your employer doesn’t mean anything. In the end we go to work to pay the bills. Do what’s best for you. Tomorrow they may just let you go or turn around and do something mean. 😢 Thanks for sharing your experience and wisdom. ❤😊
My hard truth is Only people matter, family, friends ... It's not about the big job title, the money. Only People! I'm 59 too, let's Go! I am loving life, figuring out this new chapter. Thanks for sharing
Hi Silver and Solo, I wouldn’t call it a hard truth, but I would tell my younger self to take care of my health…develop good habits like eating right, staying active, etc. I would also remind myself that kindness is the real currency in this world.
You are soooo right about these hard truths. As a woman age 72, living alone most of those 72 years, I have spent too much of my time waiting for happiness. Finally, thank the Lord, I learned this lesson and a few other things you mentioned. Shortly before I watched this video, I spent some time in grateful thought about how happy I am to be living alone. My privacy is so important to me, also I love that I can keep my home exactly as I like it. Small things like the temperature, the level of light and sound and cleanliness contribute so much to my happiness and I realize that I wouldn't have it another way if I could. Thanks, you.
Yes, there are advantages to living alone, but at times I feel incredible loneliness. Mainly because so much just comes down to me, and I find that hard at times. To have a shared vision with someone somehow makes life feel less burdensome
My hard truth:you can’t control others actions, just your response to them. There will always be toxic people; limit your exposure to them. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good, and not bring you down . As you said- you are responsible for your choices in life. If you’re unhappy, try to change it if you can.
One day I took my elderly dad out for his groceries. I was complaining about this or that. He pointed around the parking lot and said “look at all these people. Every single one of them is dealing with some big problem right now. Maybe lots of problems “. I’ve never forgotten that lesson. RIP dad.
I remind myself this every time I feel like my life is spiraling out of control. It help to let you know you're not alone and you can get through whatever your dealing with.❤
Also, if you don't ask, you don't know where you stand with a company. Are you really a valued employee? If they value your contributions, then they will find a way to agree with your request.
I'm 55 now. When I was a teenager my mother gave me the advice to advocate for myself, stand on my own two feet financially and never be dependent on a man. Best advice ever, served me well so far and got my husband and me through some very tough times in the volatile economy of the past 20 years.
Everything is relative. I used to think 60 was old. Now that I am several years older, 60 seems quite young. My mother, a teacher, always had a selection of wise sayings to fit every occasion. She often said, "Time and tide wait for no man." I never quite understood that as a child. But, now, it has become very clear that time is not infinite, and that as each day passes, we have fewer days left, and need to make sure we get the 'best bang for the buck' out of each one remaining. Living purposefully in all areas of life, is worth refining frequently, keeping a journal helps keep one on track. It is a lesson I learned about the urgency and fragility of life when I had cancer. However, my risk of recurrence is only 3%. For some reason, I used think that old age creeps on slowly, and for the most part, goes unnoticed. But that is not true, it happens when we least expect, in fits and starts we had not considered. All of a sudden hauling heavy sacks of animal bedding has become hard for me, and I can nolonger toss a 60lb bale of hay the way I used to just months ago. Such activities result in feeling he need for a nap. Exhaustion arrives suddenly when it comes, when before, it wasn't even on the radar. My Oncologist said she noticed the same thing about her family members too. So not just my observation. To compensate, I make it a point to pace myself by following particularly long hard days with a more relaxing one. I nolonger strive to complete the entire garden, when I can do a bit one day and more the next. Paying someone to help with heavier chores isn't an option. That said, I managed to accomplish quite a bit with the use of a small electric chain saw, which worked great to cut down small tree limbs and bushes quickly and efficiently. It was worth the $60.00 plus, even though the motor eventually burnt out. I'd say it is one tool I cannot do without. I am also increasing exercises to gain muscle strenghth, and riding my electric bike to help maintain good balance.
I think we need to stop viewing the word "old" as negative. Being old has many benefits one of which is wisdom--at least for some of us ol' folks. If you had a sweater or car for 60 years, wouldn't you consider that old? However, these old items could appreciate in value.
Great content, as always, Jen. I'm 65 and so much of what you said resonates with me. Especially the part with keeping up with the Jones' . That was my dream in my 30s. I has a great career, was happily married, built our dream home, and thought, "I've made it!" Not always the case. The girls went off to college, my husband left me, and my dream house went on the market. I'm now in a townhome which I purchased, and happy with my decision. Economically, things have changed, but as you said, I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back, and food in the cabinets. I'm no longer in competition with anyone. ❤❤
I was just reminiscing about my similar life yesterday. Beautiful house, beautiful baby, great job, good husband (I thought). Everything I dreamed about .... gone when he decided to leave when that baby was almost 3 years old. She is now 34 and I am 61. We survived. Our lives are very good. But, the dream was gone the minute he walked out the door. Life goes on and we must be thankful for what we have, not resentful for what is lost. This video was a good reminder ...
These truths are spot on! I really needed to be reminded of number 8 & 9! Today I was feeling upset because I was comparing myself to family members in my circle. They are planning trips, outings to sporting events, even day trips and dinners opening the invitation to us all. I feel left out because I don’t have the funds to participate. Most are couples and make at least 4x as much as I do. If they need a new car, they get one. They have houses and are talking about selling them to live in a luxury community. I’ve been a renter my entire life. Usually this doesn’t bother me. I live within my means and I’m grateful for all I do have. But every once in a while, like today, when I hear about their plans, I get depressed. I know I shouldn’t compare myself with others. So like number 9, I am responsible for my own happiness! A hard lesson I can add is if you don’t like something, do something about it. So I can’t do everything they’re doing. What can I do? Can I make extra money doing something, selling something, etc. to save up? Can I see about coupons or other ways to save? Different flights or accommodations? For dinners, don’t get drinks, appetizers or a dessert…or only get an appetizer or lower cost item. See, I’m feeling better already! 😊 I enjoy your channel more than I ever expected!
My perspective on aging is a bit unique. The AIDS crisis took everyone around me. Why is a useless question. The reality is I am and I exist. I lived a more carefree life and found joy simple things. Still, in my mid 40s I realized so many things you just explained. People can say something is a midlife crisis, etc but, we hit moments as we age that are pivotal. I realized no one would care if I quit my corporate management position even though I had been there over a decade and a half. But rather than buy some expensive toy and the typical distraction I decided to just change into the person I needed to be for myself. I moved thousands of miles away to a place where I knew no one and built a new life that followed the new rules. I needed to be kind to myself, open to new experience and opportunities and my big one was this, and it's a big one. When asked to join a person or group for something fun or interesting, the answer is always yes unless I had a valid reason I couldn't participate.
Happiness is enjoying what you have. If you practice gratitude daily it will become your default attitude. Of course there will be times of sorrow and fear etc. but this attitude has gotten me through tough times. I recently finished 18 months of cancer treatment. I was happy to have a fabulous doctor, caring nurses, a helpful husband, the science that invented a new cure for my type of cancer, etc. That went a long way.
Happy Birthday, Jen! 💐💐💐Best wishes! Listening to you is like listening to a close friend. Every Hard Truth resonates with me. Would like just to add my 2 cents: working well for yourself depends on the level of consciousness; regrets are useless and drain the energy; while making a decision, listening to our intuition/inner voice is helpful; my mom used to say, " there is always someone who is in a much tougher situation"; yes, WE and only WE are responsible for our happiness and let's not "delay" it. Two more Hard Truths might be added: 1) The sooner you move out from your parents' home, the stronger and more independent you become; 2) Don't persist in trying to save someone, no matter how dearly you love them: "You can bring a horse to the water, but you cannot make it drink" ...
I'm 75 and I'm impressed, you have some amazing and absolutely on point stuff here. And so you know when you're 75 nothing much bothers you, which is my contribution. You've seen it all, you've done it all, or you decided it wasn't worth doing or seeing. **In the end what matters is the things and people you care about (and by things I don't mean possessions).**
You have no idea how you have helped me move forward. I just turned 54. I want to sell baby quilts at the market near my home. I have pulled my fabric out to piece my patches together. Thank you for the inspiration. ❤
Greetings from New Zealand. All good advice. I have another hard truth which it took me a long time to learn. If you do a lot for a friend do not expect her to acknowledge it or pay you back in any way, some people are just takers, so don't beat yourself up. On the other hand a stranger may do something nice for you without asking, enjoy these people and be sure to say thank you. "Thank you" are two very important words.
Thank you Jen for another insightful video. I am now 70 which is a huge number but in my mind I still feel 40. Silly but true. I am more fortunate than some and less than others but I am ok with that. Never wanted a big house or fancy cars although I did own a few sports cars in my early years. I live in a small cottage style home on Georgian Bay in Ontario which is perfect for me. I learned early that there is no company loyalty. I did my job well but have had many layoffs over my career as a nurse. I always managed to find work even though it might have been only part time. I never really thought about retirement in my early years and all of a sudden it's here. That is my only regret that I didn't plan better for this time. Money is tighter than I'd like but the economy has contributed to that strain for everyone. There are a few things I might have done differently in looking back but no major disasters.
That was Aristotle who said if all of the villagers brought their troubles to the village square & could choose any one of them to take home, they would choose their own.
I stopped taking notice of age many years ago. I love working and will continue until I don’t. I’ve had my brush with death about ten years ago. This changed my whole outlook. Now, i do art, write for fun ( and money), read endlessly, smoke occasionally, drink occasionally, spend time with my daughter. I really have no regrets, other than wasting time with idiots. I could spend hours watching a lake, trees or on solo hikes. Ive had money; Ive lost money. I love just being.
One I would add is that change is inevitable, focus on the beauty and lesson in the change. Allow yourself to be happy and get out of your own way. Savor all the wisdom from the people you meet. Listen more and ask good questions. All of life is a classroom. Get to know what lights you up. And above all enjoy the journey. This ain’t no dress rehearsal. Be good to yourself and don’t feel guilty about having it all. Most of the time it was by design. Happy birthday 🎉
Birthdays, ask for what you want rather than thinking your partner or family will read your mind and know what you want. This took me 50 years to learn.
I have been aware of these 9 things since I was in my early 20’s. The number 10 hard truth is that in many ways, happiness is a concisions decision. If you want to be mad about everything that happens in your life, you will be mad. If you let everything that occurs make you sad, then you will be always looking for things to make you sad. And if you want to ba happy, you will find happiness in the simplest things in life, like a sunny day, or helping a friend. Just having the ability to not only see the darkness side to every experience that comes your way, but instead be realistic and understand that sometimes bad things happen. But in time all things past, and try not to live in dark regret, but live in bright optimism, and be happy
The bonus at number 8 really hit home with me. I find living in gratitude to actually pay off in many ways: less stress, less spending, better care of ourselves and belongings and better time management. Being happy for our own blessings inspire us to take better care of what we have and focus on enjoying and improving our lives by not wasting time comparing ourselves to other people and invest that time and energy into improving our circumstances and people we care about.
Hard truth, know the difference between want and need. Knowing that might save you from making a lot of unnecessary purchases and storing a lot of underused stuff.
There's quite a bit Stoic philosophy in here. When we did Ancient Latin philosophers in school (30 years ago), I was quite impressed and wrote a quote on the inside of the cover of my folder: Plus dolet quam necesse est, qui ante dolet, quam necesse est. (Seneca) "If you suffer before you must, you suffer more than you must." In a nutshell, don't worry, all it does is increase your pain. Today, your video reminded me of another of Seneca's quotes: Volentem fata vehunt, nolentem trahunt. Fate carrys you, if you accept it, and drags you along, if you don't. I imagine a chariot, fate holds the reins, you can't choose where you go. But if you accept it, you stay in the chariot, if you don't, you get dragged through the dust. Quite an ugly frog to eat, this one. The comfort it holds for me is the idea that there is always a part of your pain you can relieve - or worsen - by your mindset.
@katoptron6583 During Covid, I spent a lot of time watching RUclips content creators who quoted Seneca. He is by far my favorite Stoic Philosopher, although I do not really implement the ideas into my own life (yet). 😊
Just came for my daily life advice video from random author to listen to something while washing up, but couldn't leave my laptop because I was hooked. This was high quality good advice. Also, you gave me hope that growing old won't be that bad.
9. It is true that one must be responsible for ones happiness. Sit down and think what would make you happy. Then do a plan to make it come true. Don't rely on any other to make you happy. Take action and guard your happiness well because people will try to destroy it if they get a chance. Take it from a bitter person.
Spot on. I live in Spain ( half Spaniard half French )in beautiful Canary Islands , what could posdibly go wrong? Hate change, my dog died 2 years away and been devastated since then , always had pets but this was an angel on earth, my hubby and I were so happy with her and now shes gone, got another one but you true live happens only once, change and loss of someone you truly love is the most heartwrenching experience l've ever had, sorry for the rant, just wanted to share. Like you say in America, bless your heart
😢 I had a little dog that was an angel too. I adored her. She lived only 14 months. From a small pup she kept being sick and we couldn’t find out what was wrong. After many trips to the vet he finally decided to do a full blood test. He was shocked when it came back that she had terminal kidney disease, it was inherited by interbreeding😭. He was an elderly vet and he said he hadn’t seen seen this condition since he was a trainee. On that day that we had come back to him for the result of the test he was nearly in tears himself when he told us she had two weeks to live😭 she lived four. That was 15 years ago and I have never got over it. The only consolation I give myself is that I had her, no~one else, I nursed herthrough all the months she was ill and she was so loved by me and my husband. I feel your pain xx
Rewrite of #4, courtesy of my former therapist, if your choice is between a bad choice and a worse one, don't get down on yourself for making a bad choice!
A regret free life is very rare. I like to look at regrets as a way to learn, to accept that is life, maybe it was not meant to be. But, yes, indeed we have regrets, but, life goes on, on to new paths that can teach other things important to know. Is there anybody that leaves this earth without any kind of regret? We all are in that respect in the same boat, just doing the best we can with what we know. We can only move forward, and strive to make the best decisions in the future as best we can and not spend too much time/energy regretting the regrets. Tomorrow is a clean slate, to some degree. : )
Jan, I have loved this video, and having had a little think about life these are thoughts of mine. When it comes to work, be aware you are not indispensable, but a number, regards of position, easily disposed of. When it comes to our children, an older friend said not to expect anything from our children then anything we get is a bonhs. Thirdly, though so necessary life is not about money. Finally, don't put off something you really want to do while we know we are healthy enough because our life could alter in an instant. Give yourself without guilt, the gift of saying 'no'. If you don't want to do it, don't.
Chuckled when you mentioned not taking a Forestry Class, I did take forestry classes when I was in high school, and it was the one of the best decisions ever! Didn't end up getting into a forestry job as a career but the things that I learned in that class were some of the most valuable lessons for my life.
@@EmerySand Some stuff off the top of my head was about planning long term...like growing and planting seedlings that won't mature for many years. Working on small engines or other equipment, needing to troubleshoot, to think thru a problem. One of my favorite things was that I learned "my pace", it's 2.5 ft per step, you need to know that to pace 66ft away from a tree to get some of the measurement's you need to calculate the board feet in a tree. I can "pace out" things and have a rough idea of the length, like the other day when we needed to know how long the driveway is so we can buy the right amount of asphalt sealer. We also had "leadership day" once a week where we learned how to set goals and make plans to reach those goals. A wonderful class, not a class that many gals took back when I took the class at the end of the 70s.
An old trawler fisherman once told me that life is like a ratchet, you take one step forward, it goes click behind you, and you cannot ever go back. Enjoyed your video, greetings from New Zealand.
I will allow myself to call a grandma since I don't have one. I was feeling down and hating on myself, but weird enough your calm voice and wise speech made my day, so now I can sleep.
I worked so hard I ended up on dialysis at 40. being relatively young and disabled is a real eye opener about your devoted relationships. You have to let the toxic people go and the sooner the better. I cannot emphasize enough how bad people will drag you down hard.
You only have your self to count on especially as you age. Your family won't be interested because they have their lives, their partners and their children, in fact their families in which you are not included 😢
@karenirving7088 Life has many disappointments but with age we only find peace with acceptance, well, that's what I constantly remind myself. Seek what gives you pleasure❤
I don’t think I will make it to 60. But it’s getting closer and closer as I get older. My life has improved greatly so maybe I will make it. I wouldn’t have said that a couple of years ago. I’m only 36. Life is still hard, but I’ve met a lot of people recently who say that they love. And love comes with Longsuffering.
I don't typically stick around to watch these videos because I feel they drag sometimes. I'm 18 turning 19 soon and I really appreciated this video. I love your approach.
My hard truth is that I don't know everything. What I learned, especially in my old age, is that there are professionals for all my needs. They took the training and have the skills. I refer to my mechanic who works on my grocery getter.
Lots of great advice here 🙂 The path to a happy life starts with being grateful for everything you have instead of focusing on the things you wish you had. Surrendering to what is and appreciating all life's blessings - even the tiny ones - can bring a lot of joy once you overcome the misconception that you "should" have more or different things in life Acceptance is the key to gratitude and abundance. Keep striving, but recognize that it's impossible to change the past or predict the future, we only have today so "don't worry, be happy."
Happy Birthday! I find that as I get older, I still feel the same. I may look older and have the invisibility that comes with that for women and have more aches and pains but essentially I am the same. I remember in my 20's I thought I would be dead by my 60's because my grandmother died at 60. Funny or silly as it was the truth is you are just older. I find it to be ok and a blessing to continue.
Good video. Thanks so much. Another hard truth: Sometimes friends and family will largely disappear from your life, and sometimes you do the same to them, although there might be a clear reason when this happens often times there is not-it’s like a slow fade. But, in large part, I “leave the door open” for their return, and I hope they do the same for me-and sometimes we reunite to a degree. Good luck to all and I ask you to consider to stay curious in life and make a consistent enough effort and you will be better off than you might think.
I am PNW born and raised, my husband is military and we were sent to Texas for a few years. You made the right choice. Texas is great, for Texans, I did not belong there.
@debbibobetty5620 😆⏰. Wow! I would have been annoyed, but then laughing at the oddly sad gift. If you take a hammer to it, you can say that you _really beat time._ 😁
Reminds me of the time my coworker, an older lady, got a rusted lock with no key at the annual Secret Santa work luncheon. She just smiled and said, "oh thank you. I've been needing one of these!" Smart lady.
A hard truth is that life is short and time cannot be counted on. "Memento Mori" is the beginning of wisdom. You cannot guarantee tomorrow. Therefore, learn humility; learn that wisdom, guidance and assistance come in many forms and under many guises, perhaps even from someone of a different faith or culture. Learn to lower your pride, and accept help and wisdom when it's given to you. Speak truth to power when you have the opportunity--you may not get another chance. Pass on goodness and mercy to those less fortunate--you shall not pass this way again.
Spot on advice, totally agree with all your pointers. My mantra has always been if and when you experience a negative situation always find a positive. Survived 40 years in teaching, moved house from London to start a new retired life in Wales and have 2 grown up children. One lives in London and the other in Melbourne. Many people commented how sad that you don’t see your grandchildren often because they live in Australia but do you know what we have amazing video conversations and have quality time with them when we visit them all in Melbourne.
Number 10 might be that you will likely learn these things when younger but dismiss them and only accept them as truth when you are older. Ah youth…. Appreciate you, Jen, and Happy Birthday.
i love you silver. i was having a really hard time accepting my age (54) and where i was in life until i found you, now i am content and have started a Uni degree! thank-you for sharing your wisdom it has helped me muchly.
My dad used to tell us, every time we were fearing to make a move in our lives: what's the worst that can happen? You already have the no, but if you don't ask, you surely won't have the yes. He also told us, since we were 5 years old or so, that the best way to neutralize a bully who wants to make jokes at our expense is to laugh and continue with our lives. Nobody likes it when you don't respond as a butt hurt. The best way to be a victim is acting like one.
THANK YOU. I watch a lot of RUclips videos, but this has been one of the most helpful ones I've ever seen. I legit paused it, and sent it to everyone that I love. How are you so much wiser than a lot of our world leaders?
One of my hard truths is that we care most about the things in our lives (the slights, hurts, mistakes, etc.) Others don't really care about these things.They're too busy thinking about their own lives.
I agree with this. I used to worry about what people thought about the dumb stuff I said or did. Then I realized… they’re not thinking about me, they’re thinking about their own dumb stuff. 😁
You've just inspired me to go back to school. I've been thinking about it, but the part about regretting things you didn't do made my brain explode. I don't want to keep working the job I'm in. I want something different for myself. And I'm going to make it happen. Thank you.
Thank you! You rank high on my ever-growing list of worthy humans. You function as a mentor through your podcast. At the risk of being redundant, my gratitude is boundless.
I just discovered your channel and I’m so glad I did. I’m 36 and I’ve being feeling really adrift in life and your content has been a great comfort. Thanks for sharing your wisdom!
Thank you, Jen! Sitting here, feeling sorry for myself and on the verge of tears…. I feel so much better having listened to you! I so wish we were neighbors! While I am older than you by four years, I feel like there’s so much you could teach me! Thank you so much! ❤❤
Jen, belated happy birthday. Someone once told me don't give your employers everything you are capable of, because, when it comes down to it you are just a number and they always want more.
You've got to ask for what you want. I'm sooooo bad at that! I drop hints and beat around the bush...but I need to start asking! I loved all of your truths and at 50 I'm still learning! You have great content Jen! Thank you! :)
Love your videos. My husband of 38 years passed last February, and cold, hard facts are right and left these days. #6 really hits home, learning to ask for help (amazing!) So far living single isn't too bad, sure different too! Thanks Jen!
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Hello from a silver solo in Campbell River. Just found your channel, enjoying.
@@whereswendy8544 We are moving to Campbell River July 2025. Love Van. Island so much.
1. Life is not a meritocracy
2. You have to ask for something. People won’t figure it out on their own.
3. Regret is worse than failure.
4. Sometimes there is no right choice/answer.
5. Change is inevitable.
6. You shouldn’t always take the easy way.
7. If it won’t matter in 5 years, don’t spend 5 minutes being upset by it.
8. Somebody is always going to have more than you.
9. You are responsible for your happiness.
You’re welcome.
Thanks! Good recap!
Thank you- this recap allows me to screen shot and review when I'm in my own way and can't watch the video.
thanks
Thanks ❤
thank you
One truth that gives me comfort: Stop worrying about what other people think about you, because they probably aren’t thinking about you at all.
I think that I must come from a long line of wise women. I am 69 now. Many years ago, my grandmother told me to look at a situation that was bothering me and ask myself if it is going to bother me when I am on my deathbed. If the answer is no, as it usually was, then let it go. From my mother, I learned about change. When I told her that I wasn't sure that I could have handled the difficult cancer treatments she was going through with as much grace as she had.... she said simply, "I can go through anything if I know it will end. And everything ends!" She went on to live 13 years after the doctors said she only had weeks to live. I feel blessed to have had both those women in my life.
Good advice
Beautiful message! Thanks so much for sharing!
Thank you so much for sharing, I find it very helpful. ❤
Your mother might have read Saint Teresa of Avila.
Let nothing disturb you.
Let nothing make you afraid.
All things are passing.
God alone never changes.
Patience gains all things.
If you have God, you will want for nothing.
God alone suffices.
Thank you so much for sharing that ❤
My mother used to say, "The only hand you can count on is at the end of your own arm." This is a truth I learned the hard way.
That’s a good one!
@@MeeCee5204 so well said.
My Mother never told me this but I’ve learned it! Lots of great advice on here ! I’ve always had a tough time asking for help , my Brothers told me. To figure things out . This year I began writing a children’s book Corky the Quirky Pony and hoping it gives me extra income . I enjoy creating the books.
Facts
Your learning because your alive, 59, more life and wisdom comes every year some good and of course some not so good, I’m 83 I’ve learned and still learning.
❤
As Rush remind us, “Even if you choose not to decide, you’ll still have made a choice.”
I believe that it was Oscar Wilde who said: "If you ever feel disappointed about not getting something you wanted, just think of all the things that you don't want, and didn't get."
I am close to your age and I have two college aged sons. When they were little I told them our three family rules. They have both often let me know how helpful they have been.
1. Be a good guy. You know when you are a jerk. Don’t do it. You will regret it.
2. Always do your best. It is your time to either waste or utilize to its fullest. If you have to *fill in the blank* anyway - might as well do your best.
3. Make your own fun. It is no one’s responsibility to entertain you. Wherever you are or whatever you are doing - participate!
Bonus:
If you have to do the dishes - it means you had food. If you have to clean your house - it means you have a house. If you have to walk the dog - you get it. Nice video sharing your wisdom. ❤
I didn't know I was a jerk.
Lovely ❤
That final one is amazing, it makes me feel so grateful having things I have.
I think the younger generations are realizing that hard work and loyalty to a job mean nothing.
Yep the whole quiet quitting thing is directly born of that
I learned this recently!
I think it depends who you work for and loyalty goes both ways.
I worked for a large urban hospital for 40 years. My work ethic was over the top- unpaid overtime, carried a pager constantly, etc. In the end It was not worth it at all. Never be married to your job.
I am actively trying to let my younger co- workers know this, and they are seeing first hand the treatment that I personally am getting from my employer. My advice to them is not to build his dream, build theirs.... find something you can make money doing that you enjoy.
You never lose. Either you win or you learn.
"Advocate for yourself because no one else will" Amen!
That's very important when you're seeing a doctor. Do your homework when being prescribed medication. It's not all good.
Happiness = gratitude. I am happy with simple things like a sunny day, petting my cat, enjoying a good cup of coffee in the morning. There is a long list of things that don't cost money. We just need to be aware of them.
So true. I feel the same way. Some days, like today, I slip. But I’m back on track 😊
Sorry, but no, gratitude and happiness are very different things.
I traveled the world and I keep in mind that there’s many more people in the world that don’t have a bed or peace to rest during the night, than those who do have. This is the very first thing I’m grateful for every morning. Everything else is grace.
You’ll have to tell me where you’re getting your coffee 😛
My hard truth: everything comes down to money. Have a health issue? Money can fix that, or if not, get you a comfortable death. Need food/shelter? Money. Want to travel? Money. I have been poor and rich, and the latter is a million times better. Anyone who says "money doesn't buy happiness" has clearly never experienced poverty.
i'm myself more on the poor side, and while your not wrong, i think what people often forget is that there is no security, not even in money. and people WITH money (i lived in shared flats for 23 years now and had all kinds of flatmates) are very often not prepared for that. that's a tiny positive in being used to having no safety net, right?
While I agree that money makes things better it doesn't solve every problem. It isn't the end of all end. I lived in poverty at one point. I was even homeless for a short stint. Yes, going through that difficult time in my life was hard. Yet, I remember walking down the street realizing that at that moment I had only the clothes on my back and myself and what bubbled up through my fear was exhilaration. My thought was that the only way was up from there and I was starting all over again with a clean slate. It proved to be true! I had so many pretty cool experiences on my way back to a "normal" life. The thing is, even now I live comfortably but I still don't have a lot of money. What I enjoy the most when it comes to living with less money is my ability to be more creative...which I am. I take better care of myself, and I've done so much more than I thought I ever would have and it's all because I went through grief years ago, quit my job, and ended up with no money. Obviously, you can't sustain a life without money, but I know first-hand that you can survive and even thrive with not a lot of money. So, I don't believe that everything comes down to money. What everything comes down to is you and the hard truths of this video, especially #9: You are the only one responsible for your own happiness. 😊
This topic just came up with a friend last week. I told her that for me, money buys happiness because it provides financial security, reduced stress, freedom and options. She seemed disgusted by this. I've been at both ends of the spectrum (thankfully, I'm at the plentiful end now) and I know for a fact that money can indeed buy happiness.
@@KathleenMcNe i see no reaon to show disgust to sb, who finds a way to feel secure. seems strange, to think we all would feel the same way. i for example find security in the people around me who i can rely on.
Sad, but true
I’m 75 years old and my personal mantra is that nothing lasts forever. Sometimes that’s good news and sometimes it’s scary.
Hi Nancy Good morning. I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this complement. If you don’t mind can we be friends? Thanks God bless you….🌺🌺🌺
All the people that promise to stay in touch, when you leave a long term work place, don’t. No matter how much you are friends in the workplace, make sure to have real friends, outside the workplace. It took me about 5 years and I finally gave up on being the one to connect and try and stay in touch. Thankfully I have real friends that are part of my real life. Also, your work will never miss you, once you are gone, you fade. I volunteer now and we have had two sudden deaths within our team in the last few months. Both were much liked people. No one, ever, talks about them now, because no one thinks about them. I am sure their real friends and family do. Work is work. It pays the bills, is a necessity which we hopefully mostly enjoy.
Yep. At my job, this woman was the life of the party. She left for another job after working at my job for 13 years…Once she left, it was as if she had never been there; no one even mentions her name…Talk about out of sight, out of mind!
I would like to add that it's important to frequently stay in touch with your real, non-career friends. Work friends are usually temporary friends, and you spend so much time with them that it's hard to remember that. If the only thing you have in common with them is work, then they won't be around when you move on from your job.
We’re the same age. I retired two years ago and I’m happy and satisfied. Since I retired, my brother died (my age), my brother in law (my age) died, my four dogs died and two months ago, my friend died at 32! Live NOW! Don’t wait!!
When I was 53 I lost my job of 32 years. I was budged out. I took that time to finally get my Bachelor degree. I could not find a job. Ageism is a real thing. It took me almost 10 years to find a position suited for me with a livable wage. My salary is about 40% less, but it a work from home position and why less stress.
I found out the hard way that hard work, loyalty and doing favors for your employer doesn’t mean anything. In the end we go to work to pay the bills. Do what’s best for you. Tomorrow they may just let you go or turn around and do something mean. 😢
Thanks for sharing your experience and wisdom. ❤😊
My hard truth is Only people matter, family, friends ... It's not about the big job title, the money. Only People! I'm 59 too, let's Go! I am loving life, figuring out this new chapter. Thanks for sharing
Hi Silver and Solo, I wouldn’t call it a hard truth, but I would tell my younger self to take care of my health…develop good habits like eating right, staying active, etc. I would also remind myself that kindness is the real currency in this world.
You are soooo right about these hard truths. As a woman age 72, living alone most of those 72 years, I have spent too much of my time waiting for happiness. Finally, thank the Lord, I learned this lesson and a few other things you mentioned. Shortly before I watched this video, I spent some time in grateful thought about how happy I am to be living alone. My privacy is so important to me, also I love that I can keep my home exactly as I like it. Small things like the temperature, the level of light and sound and cleanliness contribute so much to my happiness and I realize that I wouldn't have it another way if I could. Thanks, you.
I am 72 also and live alone too. We are SMART ahahahahhaha
Yes, there are advantages to living alone, but at times I feel incredible loneliness. Mainly because so much just comes down to me, and I find that hard at times. To have a shared vision with someone somehow makes life feel less burdensome
My hard truth:you can’t control others actions, just your response to them. There will always be toxic people; limit your exposure to them. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good, and not bring you down . As you said- you are responsible for your choices in life. If you’re unhappy, try to change it if you can.
This, too, will pass. This mantra seems more true as I age.
One day I took my elderly dad out for his groceries. I was complaining about this or that. He pointed around the parking lot and said “look at all these people. Every single one of them is dealing with some big problem right now. Maybe lots of problems “. I’ve never forgotten that lesson. RIP dad.
I remind myself this every time I feel like my life is spiraling out of control. It help to let you know you're not alone and you can get through whatever your dealing with.❤
I'm trying to be aware of when I complain, and change the narrative. It's not always easy.
Don’t live your life for someone to the point that you lose yourself.
Nature: Yes, I did that ... and wasted my life. I finally came to my senses after 23 years; but have now lived another 23 years with much happiness 🙏
One thing I often tell people is "If you don't ask they can't say yes". That holds true whether you are young or old. It has served me well.
Also, if you don't ask, you don't know where you stand with a company. Are you really a valued employee? If they value your contributions, then they will find a way to agree with your request.
I love that - “If you don’t ask they can’t say yes.” 😀🙌🏼💗
I'm 55 now. When I was a teenager my mother gave me the advice to advocate for myself, stand on my own two feet financially and never be dependent on a man. Best advice ever, served me well so far and got my husband and me through some very tough times in the volatile economy of the past 20 years.
Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. That advice from my mom made making some decisions a lot clearer.
Everything is relative. I used to think 60 was old. Now that I am several years older, 60 seems quite young. My mother, a teacher, always had a selection of wise sayings to fit every occasion. She often said, "Time and tide wait for no man." I never quite understood that as a child. But, now, it has become very clear that time is not infinite, and that as each day passes, we have fewer days left, and need to make sure we get the 'best bang for the buck' out of each one remaining. Living purposefully in all areas of life, is worth refining frequently, keeping a journal helps keep one on track. It is a lesson I learned about the urgency and fragility of life when I had cancer. However, my risk of recurrence is only 3%.
For some reason, I used think that old age creeps on slowly, and for the most part, goes unnoticed. But that is not true, it happens when we least expect, in fits and starts we had not considered. All of a sudden hauling heavy sacks of animal bedding has become hard for me, and I can nolonger toss a 60lb bale of hay the way I used to just months ago. Such activities result in feeling he need for a nap. Exhaustion arrives suddenly when it comes, when before, it wasn't even on the radar. My Oncologist said she noticed the same thing about her family members too. So not just my observation. To compensate, I make it a point to pace myself by following particularly long hard days with a more relaxing one. I nolonger strive to complete the entire garden, when I can do a bit one day and more the next. Paying someone to help with heavier chores isn't an option. That said, I managed to accomplish quite a bit with the use of a small electric chain saw, which worked great to cut down small tree limbs and bushes quickly and efficiently. It was worth the $60.00 plus, even though the motor eventually burnt out. I'd say it is one tool I cannot do without. I am also increasing exercises to gain muscle strenghth, and riding my electric bike to help maintain good balance.
I think we need to stop viewing the word "old" as negative. Being old has many benefits one of which is wisdom--at least for some of us ol' folks. If you had a sweater or car for 60 years, wouldn't you consider that old? However, these old items could appreciate in value.
@@Rahbinah I learned that when I spotted my high school Prom dress on a rack in an antique store! :)
Hard Truth ... Friends come and go
I learnt along the way that I didn't need friends to have a life.
They say friends for a reason, friends for a season, friends for a lifetime.
Great content, as always, Jen. I'm 65 and so much of what you said resonates with me. Especially the part with keeping up with the Jones' . That was my dream in my 30s. I has a great career, was happily married, built our dream home, and thought, "I've made it!" Not always the case. The girls went off to college, my husband left me, and my dream house went on the market. I'm now in a townhome which I purchased, and happy with my decision. Economically, things have changed, but as you said, I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back, and food in the cabinets. I'm no longer in competition with anyone. ❤❤
I was just reminiscing about my similar life yesterday. Beautiful house, beautiful baby, great job, good husband (I thought). Everything I dreamed about .... gone when he decided to leave when that baby was almost 3 years old. She is now 34 and I am 61. We survived. Our lives are very good. But, the dream was gone the minute he walked out the door. Life goes on and we must be thankful for what we have, not resentful for what is lost. This video was a good reminder ...
Sounds like my life but without the kids. I’m looking forward to the future and will not look back with sadness.
These truths are spot on! I really needed to be reminded of number 8 & 9! Today I was feeling upset because I was comparing myself to family members in my circle. They are planning trips, outings to sporting events, even day trips and dinners opening the invitation to us all. I feel left out because I don’t have the funds to participate. Most are couples and make at least 4x as much as I do. If they need a new car, they get one. They have houses and are talking about selling them to live in a luxury community. I’ve been a renter my entire life. Usually this doesn’t bother me. I live within my means and I’m grateful for all I do have. But every once in a while, like today, when I hear about their plans, I get depressed. I know I shouldn’t compare myself with others. So like number 9, I am responsible for my own happiness! A hard lesson I can add is if you don’t like something, do something about it. So I can’t do everything they’re doing. What can I do? Can I make extra money doing something, selling something, etc. to save up? Can I see about coupons or other ways to save? Different flights or accommodations? For dinners, don’t get drinks, appetizers or a dessert…or only get an appetizer or lower cost item. See, I’m feeling better already! 😊 I enjoy your channel more than I ever expected!
My perspective on aging is a bit unique. The AIDS crisis took everyone around me. Why is a useless question. The reality is I am and I exist. I lived a more carefree life and found joy simple things. Still, in my mid 40s I realized so many things you just explained. People can say something is a midlife crisis, etc but, we hit moments as we age that are pivotal. I realized no one would care if I quit my corporate management position even though I had been there over a decade and a half. But rather than buy some expensive toy and the typical distraction I decided to just change into the person I needed to be for myself. I moved thousands of miles away to a place where I knew no one and built a new life that followed the new rules. I needed to be kind to myself, open to new experience and opportunities and my big one was this, and it's a big one. When asked to join a person or group for something fun or interesting, the answer is always yes unless I had a valid reason I couldn't participate.
Love this!
I’m about to turn 60, and I gotta say, my regrets are much more about what I did do that I wish I hadn’t. But that’s me.
Nah. ..truth..is give give. Stop giving. Takers move on
Same here, but hell I did some amazing things.
Happiness is enjoying what you have. If you practice gratitude daily it will become your default attitude. Of course there will be times of sorrow and fear etc. but this attitude has gotten me through tough times. I recently finished 18 months of cancer treatment. I was happy to have a fabulous doctor, caring nurses, a helpful husband, the science that invented a new cure for my type of cancer, etc. That went a long way.
My depression era dad told me that no one is irreplaceable. Good advice
Happy Birthday, Jen! 💐💐💐Best wishes! Listening to you is like listening to a close friend. Every Hard Truth resonates with me. Would like just to add my 2 cents: working well for yourself depends on the level of consciousness; regrets are useless and drain the energy; while making a decision, listening to our intuition/inner voice is helpful; my mom used to say, " there is always someone who is in a much tougher situation"; yes, WE and only WE are responsible for our happiness and let's not "delay" it. Two more Hard Truths might be added: 1) The sooner you move out from your parents' home, the stronger and more independent you become; 2) Don't persist in trying to save someone, no matter how dearly you love them: "You can bring a horse to the water, but you cannot make it drink" ...
I'm 75 and I'm impressed, you have some amazing and absolutely on point stuff here. And so you know when you're 75 nothing much bothers you, which is my contribution. You've seen it all, you've done it all, or you decided it wasn't worth doing or seeing. **In the end what matters is the things and people you care about (and by things I don't mean possessions).**
Same age and completely agree. Don't feel I've done it quite all though; plenty of great new things for me to explore and enjoy!
You have no idea how you have helped me move forward. I just turned 54. I want to sell baby quilts at the market near my home. I have pulled my fabric out to piece my patches together. Thank you for the inspiration. ❤
Greetings from New Zealand. All good advice. I have another hard truth which it took me a long time to learn. If you do a lot for a friend do not expect her to acknowledge it or pay you back in any way, some people are just takers, so don't beat yourself up. On the other hand a stranger may do something nice for you without asking, enjoy these people and be sure to say thank you. "Thank you" are two very important words.
Thank you Jen for another insightful video. I am now 70 which is a huge number but in my mind I still feel 40. Silly but true. I am more fortunate than some and less than others but I am ok with that. Never wanted a big house or fancy cars although I did own a few sports cars in my early years. I live in a small cottage style home on Georgian Bay in Ontario which is perfect for me. I learned early that there is no company loyalty. I did my job well but have had many layoffs over my career as a nurse. I always managed to find work even though it might have been only part time. I never really thought about retirement in my early years and all of a sudden it's here. That is my only regret that I didn't plan better for this time. Money is tighter than I'd like but the economy has contributed to that strain for everyone. There are a few things I might have done differently in looking back but no major disasters.
I’m a senior in my mid seventies,
I enjoyed your observations and
would hope that life experiences
continue to educate us as we get
older.
ما أجمل وجود مكتبة في كلّ بيت بكتب مفيدة في حياتنا ! ..منظر المكتبة وراءك مُريح للعين ..القراءة متعة !
That was Aristotle who said if all of the villagers brought their troubles to the village square & could choose any one of them to take home, they would choose their own.
Number 4 is definitely a realization I have. There’s was no right choice, I did the best I could. This just reminds me to give myself some grace.
Wow I'm also 59, tuning 60 in 6 weeks , and I love this video
I stopped taking notice of age many years ago. I love working and will continue until I don’t. I’ve had my brush with death about ten years ago. This changed my whole outlook. Now, i do art, write for fun ( and money), read endlessly, smoke occasionally, drink occasionally, spend time with my daughter. I really have no regrets, other than wasting time with idiots. I could spend hours watching a lake, trees or on solo hikes. Ive had money; Ive lost money. I love just being.
I like your way of thinking sister ❤
Or brother even lol
@@vickysimpson3750 brother very brother. Lol
I love this post
One I would add is that change is inevitable, focus on the beauty and lesson in the change. Allow yourself to be happy and get out of your own way. Savor all the wisdom from the people you meet. Listen more and ask good questions. All of life is a classroom. Get to know what lights you up. And above all enjoy the journey. This ain’t no dress rehearsal. Be good to yourself and don’t feel guilty about having it all. Most of the time it was by design. Happy birthday 🎉
Birthdays, ask for what you want rather than thinking your partner or family will read your mind and know what you want. This took me 50 years to learn.
I have been aware of these 9 things since I was in my early 20’s. The number 10 hard truth is that in many ways, happiness is a concisions decision. If you want to be mad about everything that happens in your life, you will be mad. If you let everything that occurs make you sad, then you will be always looking for things to make you sad. And if you want to ba happy, you will find happiness in the simplest things in life, like a sunny day, or helping a friend. Just having the ability to not only see the darkness side to every experience that comes your way, but instead be realistic and understand that sometimes bad things happen. But in time all things past, and try not to live in dark regret, but live in bright optimism, and be happy
Wake up in the morning and be glad for the day. I stand by this.
Agreed!
The bonus at number 8 really hit home with me. I find living in gratitude to actually pay off in many ways: less stress, less spending, better care of ourselves and belongings and better time management.
Being happy for our own blessings inspire us to take better care of what we have and focus on enjoying and improving our lives by not wasting time comparing ourselves to other people and invest that time and energy into improving our circumstances and people we care about.
Hard truth, know the difference between want and need. Knowing that might save you from making a lot of unnecessary purchases and storing a lot of underused stuff.
There's quite a bit Stoic philosophy in here. When we did Ancient Latin philosophers in school (30 years ago), I was quite impressed and wrote a quote on the inside of the cover of my folder: Plus dolet quam necesse est, qui ante dolet, quam necesse est. (Seneca) "If you suffer before you must, you suffer more than you must." In a nutshell, don't worry, all it does is increase your pain.
Today, your video reminded me of another of Seneca's quotes: Volentem fata vehunt, nolentem trahunt. Fate carrys you, if you accept it, and drags you along, if you don't. I imagine a chariot, fate holds the reins, you can't choose where you go. But if you accept it, you stay in the chariot, if you don't, you get dragged through the dust.
Quite an ugly frog to eat, this one. The comfort it holds for me is the idea that there is always a part of your pain you can relieve - or worsen - by your mindset.
@katoptron6583 During Covid, I spent a lot of time watching RUclips content creators who quoted Seneca. He is by far my favorite Stoic Philosopher, although I do not really implement the ideas into my own life (yet). 😊
Just came for my daily life advice video from random author to listen to something while washing up, but couldn't leave my laptop because I was hooked. This was high quality good advice. Also, you gave me hope that growing old won't be that bad.
It's not that you may not get what you are due, it's that we are not actually due anything.
3. Regrets is one of the worst things to feel. It can eat you away.
Especially as you get older
The best piece of advice I've ever heard was "Just because things could have been different, doesn't mean they would have been better."
9. It is true that one must be responsible for ones happiness. Sit down and think what would make you happy. Then do a plan to make it come true. Don't rely on any other to make you happy. Take action and guard your happiness well because people will try to destroy it if they get a chance. Take it from a bitter person.
I have done that many times and I am surprised how wrong I am some times about what will make me happy 😊. I'd say I am wrong about it 50% of the time.
Spot on. I live in Spain ( half Spaniard half French )in beautiful Canary Islands , what could posdibly go wrong? Hate change, my dog died 2 years away and been devastated since then , always had pets but this was an angel on earth, my hubby and I were so happy with her and now shes gone, got another one but you true live happens only once, change and loss of someone you truly love is the most heartwrenching experience l've ever had, sorry for the rant, just wanted to share. Like you say in America, bless your heart
I know your pain. ❤
😢 I had a little dog that was an angel too. I adored her. She lived only 14 months. From a small pup she kept being sick and we couldn’t find out what was wrong. After many trips to the vet he finally decided to do a full blood test. He was shocked when it came back that she had terminal kidney disease, it was inherited by interbreeding😭. He was an elderly vet and he said he hadn’t seen seen this condition since he was a trainee. On that day that we had come back to him for the result of the test he was nearly in tears himself when he told us she had two weeks to live😭 she lived four. That was 15 years ago and I have never got over it. The only consolation I give myself is that I had her, no~one else, I nursed herthrough all the months she was ill and she was so loved by me and my husband. I feel your pain xx
Rewrite of #4, courtesy of my former therapist, if your choice is between a bad choice and a worse one, don't get down on yourself for making a bad choice!
Thank you for that reminder there there’s always someone with less than “me” out there.
A regret free life is very rare. I like to look at regrets as a way to learn, to accept that is life, maybe it was not meant to be. But, yes, indeed we have regrets, but, life goes on, on to new paths that can teach other things important to know. Is there anybody that leaves this earth without any kind of regret? We all are in that respect in the same boat, just doing the best we can with what we know. We can only move forward, and strive to make the best decisions in the future as best we can and not spend too much time/energy regretting the regrets. Tomorrow is a clean slate, to some degree. : )
Jan, I have loved this video, and having had a little think about life these are thoughts of mine.
When it comes to work, be aware you are not indispensable, but a number, regards of position, easily disposed of.
When it comes to our children, an older friend said not to expect anything from our children then anything we get is a bonhs.
Thirdly, though so necessary life is not about money.
Finally, don't put off something you really want to do while we know we are healthy enough because our life could alter in an instant.
Give yourself without guilt, the gift of saying 'no'. If you don't want to do it, don't.
Thank you.
I would add to #8, "You can't take it with you."
No one lays on their death bed thinking, "I should have spent more time at work."
Chuckled when you mentioned not taking a Forestry Class, I did take forestry classes when I was in high school, and it was the one of the best decisions ever! Didn't end up getting into a forestry job as a career but the things that I learned in that class were some of the most valuable lessons for my life.
Any examples?
@@EmerySand Some stuff off the top of my head was about planning long term...like growing and planting seedlings that won't mature for many years. Working on small engines or other equipment, needing to troubleshoot, to think thru a problem. One of my favorite things was that I learned "my pace", it's 2.5 ft per step, you need to know that to pace 66ft away from a tree to get some of the measurement's you need to calculate the board feet in a tree. I can "pace out" things and have a rough idea of the length, like the other day when we needed to know how long the driveway is so we can buy the right amount of asphalt sealer. We also had "leadership day" once a week where we learned how to set goals and make plans to reach those goals. A wonderful class, not a class that many gals took back when I took the class at the end of the 70s.
Thanks for sharing these valuable and wise. lessons
An old trawler fisherman once told me that life is like a ratchet, you take one step forward, it goes click behind you, and you cannot ever go back. Enjoyed your video, greetings from New Zealand.
I will allow myself to call a grandma since I don't have one. I was feeling down and hating on myself, but weird enough your calm voice and wise speech made my day, so now I can sleep.
I worked so hard I ended up on dialysis at 40.
being relatively young and disabled is a real eye opener about your devoted relationships.
You have to let the toxic people go and the sooner the better.
I cannot emphasize enough how bad people will drag you down hard.
I really appreciated the analogy of throwing everyone’s problems into a pile
Shut the door on it
You only have your self to count on especially as you age. Your family won't be interested because they have their lives, their partners and their children, in fact their families in which you are not included 😢
@karenirving7088 Life has many disappointments but with age we only find peace with acceptance, well, that's what I constantly remind myself. Seek what gives you pleasure❤
Sad but so true!! 😢
It's like they forgot us, they don't need or want us around.
I don’t think I will make it to 60. But it’s getting closer and closer as I get older. My life has improved greatly so maybe I will make it. I wouldn’t have said that a couple of years ago. I’m only 36. Life is still hard, but I’ve met a lot of people recently who say that they love. And love comes with Longsuffering.
I don't typically stick around to watch these videos because I feel they drag sometimes. I'm 18 turning 19 soon and I really appreciated this video. I love your approach.
That's awesome!
My hard truth is that I don't know everything. What I learned, especially in my old age, is that there are professionals for all my needs. They took the training and have the skills. I refer to my mechanic who works on my grocery getter.
Lots of great advice here 🙂 The path to a happy life starts with being grateful for everything you have instead of focusing on the things you wish you had. Surrendering to what is and appreciating all life's blessings - even the tiny ones - can bring a lot of joy once you overcome the misconception that you "should" have more or different things in life Acceptance is the key to gratitude and abundance. Keep striving, but recognize that it's impossible to change the past or predict the future, we only have today so "don't worry, be happy."
Happy Birthday! I find that as I get older, I still feel the same. I may look older and have the invisibility that comes with that for women and have more aches and pains but essentially I am the same. I remember in my 20's I thought I would be dead by my 60's because my grandmother died at 60. Funny or silly as it was the truth is you are just older. I find it to be ok and a blessing to continue.
Good video. Thanks so much.
Another hard truth: Sometimes friends and family will largely disappear from your life, and sometimes you do the same to them, although there might be a clear reason when this happens often times there is not-it’s like a slow fade.
But, in large part, I “leave the door open” for their return, and I hope they do the same for me-and sometimes we reunite to a degree.
Good luck to all and I ask you to consider to stay curious in life and make a consistent enough effort and you will be better off than you might think.
Not moving to TX is the smartest thing you could have done!
I am PNW born and raised, my husband is military and we were sent to Texas for a few years. You made the right choice. Texas is great, for Texans, I did not belong there.
Learn to just not care about most everything.
Yes- caring less, allows freedom!
I got a plastic clock after 33 years of service weee! Life is hard ...work it!
@debbibobetty5620 😆⏰. Wow!
I would have been annoyed, but then laughing at the oddly sad gift. If you take a hammer to it, you can say that you _really beat time._ 😁
@@amg9163 hysterical 🤣
Thanks!!!
Reminds me of the time my coworker, an older lady, got a rusted lock with no key at the annual Secret Santa work luncheon. She just smiled and said, "oh thank you. I've been needing one of these!" Smart lady.
A hard truth is that life is short and time cannot be counted on. "Memento Mori" is the beginning of wisdom. You cannot guarantee tomorrow. Therefore, learn humility; learn that wisdom, guidance and assistance come in many forms and under many guises, perhaps even from someone of a different faith or culture. Learn to lower your pride, and accept help and wisdom when it's given to you. Speak truth to power when you have the opportunity--you may not get another chance. Pass on goodness and mercy to those less fortunate--you shall not pass this way again.
Spot on advice, totally agree with all your pointers. My mantra has always been if and when you experience a negative situation always find a positive. Survived 40 years in teaching, moved house from London to start a new retired life in Wales and have 2 grown up children. One lives in London and the other in Melbourne. Many people commented how sad that you don’t see your grandchildren often because they live in Australia but do you know what we have amazing video conversations and have quality time with them when we visit them all in Melbourne.
Number 10 might be that you will likely learn these things when younger but dismiss them and only accept them as truth when you are older. Ah youth….
Appreciate you, Jen, and Happy Birthday.
i love you silver. i was having a really hard time accepting my age (54) and where i was in life until i found you, now i am content and have started a Uni degree! thank-you for sharing your wisdom it has helped me muchly.
Rock on!
My dad used to tell us, every time we were fearing to make a move in our lives: what's the worst that can happen? You already have the no, but if you don't ask, you surely won't have the yes.
He also told us, since we were 5 years old or so, that the best way to neutralize a bully who wants to make jokes at our expense is to laugh and continue with our lives. Nobody likes it when you don't respond as a butt hurt. The best way to be a victim is acting like one.
THANK YOU. I watch a lot of RUclips videos, but this has been one of the most helpful ones I've ever seen. I legit paused it, and sent it to everyone that I love. How are you so much wiser than a lot of our world leaders?
👋A kindred spirit. I'm 59, no kids but several beloved nieces and nephews. 💙👍
The best!
One of my hard truths is that we care most about the things in our lives (the slights, hurts, mistakes, etc.) Others don't really care about these things.They're too busy thinking about their own lives.
I agree with this. I used to worry about what people thought about the dumb stuff I said or did.
Then I realized… they’re not thinking about me, they’re thinking about their own dumb stuff. 😁
Notching ever stays the same, things and situations can change in the blink of an eye ! So never dwell upon them ... just take it in your stride !
You've just inspired me to go back to school.
I've been thinking about it, but the part about regretting things you didn't do made my brain explode.
I don't want to keep working the job I'm in. I want something different for myself. And I'm going to make it happen.
Thank you.
Thank you! You rank high on my ever-growing list of worthy humans. You function as a mentor through your podcast. At the risk of being redundant, my gratitude is boundless.
I just discovered your channel and I’m so glad I did. I’m 36 and I’ve being feeling really adrift in life and your content has been a great comfort. Thanks for sharing your wisdom!
Thank you, Jen! Sitting here, feeling sorry for myself and on the verge of tears…. I feel so much better having listened to you! I so wish we were neighbors! While I am older than you by four years, I feel like there’s so much you could teach me! Thank you so much! ❤❤
Amen to all that! One of my latest hard truths is: my adult son views us, as a family, differently than I do! Be well.👍😎🇨🇦✨️
Jen, belated happy birthday.
Someone once told me don't give your employers everything you are capable of, because, when it comes down to it you are just a number and they always want more.
The shoes look great! Good choice not to move. I’m a true Texan, born and raised. However, you live in a uniquely beautiful place. Good on you.
You've got to ask for what you want. I'm sooooo bad at that! I drop hints and beat around the bush...but I need to start asking! I loved all of your truths and at 50 I'm still learning! You have great content Jen! Thank you! :)
Love your videos. My husband of 38 years passed last February, and cold, hard facts are right and left these days. #6 really hits home, learning to ask for help (amazing!) So far living single isn't too bad, sure different too! Thanks Jen!
Thanks for sharing!!