Finally my ex lover came back begging me for mercy after he has left me for more then 9 months without no phone call or even chat, he came to my house begging us to come back again after finishing Dr ojie prayer spell prayer thank you do much #Doctorojie channel on RUclips .
I gave myself and my time with him a deadline without him knowing. We were exclusive after a few months but he had a year to make a major commitment. He did that within the first 8 months. We bought a home and moved in together. The following year, we got engaged and then married a year after that. He had no pressure from me to do ANYTHING. The right man will see your value and step up to be the man that you need. Ladies, state what it is you want and need from day one, set a realistic timeline and stick to your standards. Do not be afraid to walk away. Don't settle. ❤️❤️❤️
yeah but you opened your legs and home before marriage. Like you said he had no pressure from you at all .Yeah I wont settle , my legs and home are closed until marriage
@@irlandaise5631 There's such a thing as right message wrong delivery. I too hold to the belief that cohabitating and lovemaking is reserved for marriage, still I would hope to convey that message to sisters in a loving manner.
@@richelletvforyou8324 yeah it depends sometimes no , its just I see tones of comments where women say the men waited but they didnt wait if you see what I mean. They were doing what the society expects them to did, yeah make the man wait for 8 months but do the above without a marriage first so there was no commitment.. Women need to speak up and stop the loving manner bs etc .You hold that belief but you say nothing like plenty other women who dont speak up . You are conveying any message to her but you reply to me. Her comment is making look like she did something subversive but she didnt and didnt spread up either., no need to do if you follow the society rules and promotion in fact .
I cant lie. I just got out of a relationship that was on and off for four years for all of the same reasons he has described. Over and over again disappointments and issues. When I say emotionally drained is how I felt. Depleted and torn down fighting tooth and nail. Breaking free is best and it’s not an ultimatum to request more. Know your worth ladies.
And nowadays to find a person who is sincere, honest, pure, love from his heart and comes to you just out of no specific reasons is a real blessing, probably here we will not need deadlines.
This is why after a bad break up you need to heal and find yourself so you won't take any hurt into the other relatioship. Thank you for this ❤🙌😇 God really speaks through ppl 😊
I told him at the start I wanted to be married after 5 years. We are at 5.5, and I know it isn't going to happen. I've got my apartment and am moving Saturday 2/26. Of course, we have other issues like communication and his video game addiction, as well as his ability to help around the home, etc... so... I think it is time to cut my losses, and thank him for teaching me that I am worth so much more, and deserving of so much more. You Sir, are wonderful. I don't know if I would have had the strength to let go if I didn't listen to your advice, as an individual who I have never met or spoken to, but who spoke to me in a way that felt personal. Thank you.
A wise woman once said, “Taking him as he currently is could you handle him being 10x more of that? If not, don’t marry him because marriage doesn’t change the person for the better.”
When someone show you who they really are, believe them the first time. Maya Angelou Know the difference between someone that wants to marry because they really want to and someone that's trying to pacify you.
Men will also trap women with babies. Make no mistake. They do it for control. And if a man feels he’s more invested and really wants to be with you, he knows that many women will stay “for the kids”
So timely. 100% on right man wrong time. 7 years ago I met my now husband. The first time we met him we had a really pleasant first date. But something within me told me/God told me it wasnt worth comitting there and then so I deleted my now husband's number after one date because he wasnt showing me enough interest (I did not want to beg for his attention). I went on with my life... 5 years later I receive a random text from unknown number low and behold it was my now husband who texted me. I had zero expectations but to my surprise he was showing me interest and showing me he wanted to give me his time and efforts... it wasnt long till we met eachothers parents and committed to marriage. Ladies! Listen to that inner instinct that is God helping you to live a fulfilling life dont force love... God gives his love freely and he will provide a man for you who will love you freely and naturally at the right time. I'm here because I'm trying to understand and learn how to communicate these advices to my friends who are holding on to something that I can see is not right. It is a blessing that this video has popped up as my spirit has been troubled and concerned for my friends, this video confirms why I have concerns. Thank you Stephen!
@chanelwatson1983 then don't chase him. If he can't decide what he wants from you or the relationship, it's not up to you to figure it out for him. It's not at all unreasonable to expect that at your age, the two of you can break up now, and then get back together in a few years, after you've both done some personal growth.
@chanelwatson1983 He is stringing you along. If he really wanted you, he would commit. Walk away, ask God to give you your heart back and heal. I am praying for you 🙏.
Wow… this message came right on time! I’ve been second guessing myself about a decision I had to make even though I really didn’t want too… this video validates my decision and I know I did what was right for me and my mental stability. So much of this video resonates with me and my situation. I am still in love with him, and it hurts so bad…but I will have to just love him at a distance. If it’s meant to be, it will be. If not, I will silently wish him the best.
I know it hurts so bad... It's been a week since I left.. all I can think about is him.. and looking at my phone.. 😢 it's hard but one minute at a time.. I have to do this for me.. must pick my broken wings up and go..
@@stormyv.8890 .. same for me tomorrow makes a full week. I had to conquer my fear of not letting go. I’m getting stronger and you are too. 21 days makes a new habit.. you are well on your way!
Thank you! I needed to hear this TODAY! I asked someone im dating on sunday what his intentions were with me… i was in a 17 year toxic marriage in the past and i do not want to waste any time. His energy has changed since that conversation and i started feeling like i shouldnt have asked him. This video confirms that i made the right decision in asking. Thanks Stephan!
@@MeetStephanSpeaks thank you! I have purchased your books and have done the healing work. Your resources have been instrumental with my healing. I am at the most peaceful happiest point of my life… relationship or not. I wake up everyday excited about what is coming my way. ☺️
This is the reason I never ask due to the fear of the dynamic of the “situation” changing. However, I need to start asking because too much of my time has been wasted. Some men are cool with “going with the flow” versus making something official.
Yeah you have to always set a BOUNDARY with men so they understand you are not always going to be available when they need you. If a man comes back, never forget how they left you. FULL STOP. BE RARE.
Thank you! Worked for me. I made the decision of how much time I would give it and didn’t beat myself up for staying 1 month longer. Just didn’t want to spend so much of my life always being the one compromising. I matter too! Very inconsiderate and thought gifts would make up for it. I was no longer willing to become attached to a relationship that was one-sided; hoping he would hear me tell him about my needs and it never happens. I was no longer willing to settle for less than what I deserve.
I completely agree with this video in totality. I made sure I set my own standards and how much I can afford to invest spiritually, emotionally and time wise.
I also heard that a lot of men actually be over it...but don't want to be the 1 to end it...for various reasons. They want the lady to end it. So they end up doing whatever they want at the end of those relationships
I just starting dating a guy and I ended the relationship because he says he honors God, however, nothing he does shows that he applies the word of God to his life and this is key to me.. I didn’t see no love for Jesus..(even though men who love God are not always good or whatever), but knowing they have a foundation that God is number one in their life.. allows God to work first. When I don’t see that I resist the devil and he always flees.it was hard though and it still is because I liked him and he liked me. We never had sex, because we only dated for 2 months. He wanted to honor the boundary that I set . Glad I saw the red flags before it grew to where it would be harder to let go. God is worthy. He will send the me the one that I won’t have to second guess.
Yes, clearly defined boundaries and expectations can minimize disappointments in the long run. It's better to have that difficult conversation now verses 5 or 10 years from now when your life has intermingled in this web. Stephan, you put your heart into this message, and spoke passionately about making the most of our lives which I appreciate. One thing we can never get back is "wasted time" and it's always better to release and let go what truly isn't for us. If the relationship doesn't uplift, encourage, edify, & nurture your spirit, then it's a solid no, and release. Release with love. Bottom line, if you are not leveling up and becoming the best version of you, then that's the not the man you need to build & grow with. Excellent message. Great points, & examples. Blessing & peace to you. "Love is a seed, if you water it, plant it on good soil, it will flourish."
Finally my ex lover came back begging me for mercy after he has left me for more then 9 months without no phone call or even chat, he came to my house begging us to come back again after finishing Dr ojie prayer spell prayer thank you do much #Doctorojie channel on RUclips .
This is so true there needs to be dead lines in when you want to be engaged/married too, I have seen women in a 15 year engagement and women in a 20 year relationship not even a ring on their finger I feel like this don’t get touched on enough. Loved the video!!
Now that I know how to properly vet men better, I’m not ignoring red flags or giving him a deadline. Instead, I’m keeping the deadline to myself and if he doesn’t meet it then that’s on him.
Haha. Mine did that. Treated me bad for years. Disposed of me over and over. I begged him to do things to try to make our relationship better. He would make fun of me for it. Then when I finally walked away for good, he cried and said he didn't ever believe that I would leave. I'm thinking, "so that's a reason to treat me like trash? ".
This is such an eye 👁 opening message for our … “Mind , Body & Soul” !!! Now let’s do better ladies. We got this 🙌🏾. Thank you 🙏🏾 Stephan ☺️. Your changing the “Game” again. Or should I say “Mindsets” again.
Oh Stephan, I have learned these lessons hard way and it hit me so hard the last part, regarding emotional impact on health. When it came to the point that I didn’t recognised myself I said enough it’s enough. Being independent it’s powerful and I’ve promised myself nothing like that will ever happen again and deadlines…well, are a must in relationships otherwise time get waisted and in a case of a woman wanting kids and family, sometimes might be too late due to biological ⏰ I woke up just in time😁 but definitely my intuition was screaming, I had to end it up sooner, people don’t change even though they say they will
This message came right on time. Dude kept saying it's only been 4 months, but I will not be disrespected and if he could that bad in 4 months, I don't want to invest anymore time.
As a P.S: After watching a few of your videos, I blocked 3 other men, who were not right for me total of 4 men who were either toxic or too immature or both. Thank you. (Initially on RUclips, I stumbled upon your videos. Hmmm,think God wanted to get my attention.) You got it.
This is a great reminder & helpful. Do you have a video on advice for dating over 50+. I've noticed these men just looking for a woman to pay her way for everything or a playmate, don't want marriage or a helpmate 🤔. I'm 50+ years old. I'm sure there's got to be some good men this age group with good values. 😊
Points 2&3 are very crucial.. if he wasn’t acting or doing what I needed there was definitely no money given let alone sex! I had to stop dating so much because I was depleting myself. Now I ask questions to get a feel for him before giving my number.
Dude you are a real one for mentioning the pregnancy thing. Unplanned or planned by him and not the girl lol. That's my biggest fear about sleeping with guys... because people don't think a guy will try to trap you like that but they will!!!
Well said ☯ Setting boundaries at the dating onset holds yourself accountable and lets him know where he stands. He either steps up or steps back while you stay on track and live in alignment with yourself.
Dang it Stephan. Stop reading my journal!!! I swear you are telling my story play by play. Sis, please don’t just hear, listen!!! Apply these principles. They are sooo applicable. I wish I would have received this years ago. Many blessings all!
I like that you mentioned how women can get to a point where there is no more energy to even try or care, this is very, very true. It's sad and scary how I literally no longer have the energy to care or give anything. There is a special place in hell for a man or woman who deliberately takes the wind out of another's soul where they cannot love anymore. I wish I had a positive male mentor back in the day, but they simply were not around. Thank you for your content.
I have really learned a lot being apart of your Q&As in the manifest the man God has for you. Your videos on U-tube and your 📚. It has helped me sit back and really evaluate myself as a person,when it comes to any type of relationship. I have found myself actually getting a lot closer to God than I thought I was before. And because of that I am so willing to wait patiently on him(God)and never go by anyone else’s understanding and my own understanding. When it comes to a relationship Between man and woman. And with that being said I Thank God For You. And keep doing what God allows you to do. Thank you Stephan you are so amazing. 🙏🏽❤️🙌💘☺️
Your messages always come at the right time... I feel guilty for walking away but I know God has better things in store... I want what God wants best for me 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾 Thank you for this reminder!!!
Thank you for this. Because this will help me when this comes up for me. I gave him only one year and that is it no matter what. He has showed me enough to make a decision. Ladies stand up to these men and don't be afraid to walk away it will be the best thing. Love yourself frist. Do not pour all of yourself in to him. Love all my beautiful sisters 💜❤💜❤💜❤
Thanks 👍🏾, I definitely believe that. My patience is now gone with alot. I let someone linger way to long knowing he wasn't marriage material, didn't want to get married, hypocritical , narcissist and a host of other very unhealthy attributes that don't add value to me.
I like something Tyler Perry said about seeing someone in all four seasons, to see how they handle trauma, anger, ups, downs etc. My question is in doing that, u would need longer than 2 months wouldnt u?
Thanks Stephan for your advice on this topic! I agree that some men have a hard time with letting go or moving forward for that matter. I will say that unless he’s a true man of GOD and he’s realized that you’re his match, women will not experience any hesitation when it comes to taking the next step. However, we definitely must have a cutoff as to how long we’re willing to waste our time. Time is valuable and should not be wasted under any circumstance.
There's other various reasons why he lingers too. Some other guys explained that very recently. They consciously let you be the 1 to end it...for various reasons actually.
I totally agree with you. My whole life is a testimony to what you have described in this vidéo. Thank you so much for opening women's eyes. God bless you.
I knew 3 months in that Peter Pan Man Boy was not the one, though I stayed engaged because I felt bored and lonely at the time. I knew better and stayed in that situationship 9 more months. Lesson learned to never settle. Thank you for this message Stephan 🥰🥰
I really appreciate your videos and I thank God for putting you in my path. I wish I knew a lot of things you talk about here before I agreed to move in with this person :( but I strongly believe that God has someone for me, but now with everything that I am learning from you, I will do things better in my next relationship. No moving in with no one anymore that's for sure. I long to be obedient to my Lord.
70 % of breakups by women. Sadly women have to be their own best friend and protector and financial supporter. so many men cannot handle modern times of male and female energy and mature relationships…. They simply take advantage and get lazy instead of stepping up …resulting in Poor friend, poor partner, which equals a very sad relationship. Keep your strength for yourself and someone worthy by proving it over and above what you already do for yourself.☮️🙏
I got divorced 8 months ago and still living with my ex husband under the same roof. We now get alone like friends. We both agreed the divorce was best for both because we were married and living like friends. I know I have to eventually moved to my own place.
Well it’s 3months and I haven’t met this guy am talking to, he had a few ups and down and it was explained and it was true. But I have given him a deadline for us to meet up and if doesn’t happen I will have to let him know that this is not for me even though he is a sweet guy.
9 yrs waiting for all the promises made to come true! He keeps saying he wants a relationship/future but he changes nothing about his life to move this to the next level.
@@MeetStephanSpeaks I kinda feel things won’t change as he’s over 50 yrs old and it’s been almost a decade. It’s hard, shame lies in realizing I can never have those years back. You’re right saying we invest so much time, emotions etc and it feels terrible to have nothing in return to show for it. Wish I had come across your advice sooner. Thank you for helping so many! 🙏🏼
@@MeetStephanSpeaks , thank you that means a lot. You have a very special gift in your relationship ministry. You put things into words that I feel but don't know how to explain, and you validate those feelings along with giving the necessary next steps to move forward. I share your stuff with everyone I know going through relationship issues/divorce/singleness. Honestly, how do you know and understand women this way?
I needed this MOG! Even though you stepped on all ten of my toes...LOL, it was good to be reminded to stay on track. Better is waiting! Thanks for letting God use you! Blessings!
I've been watching your videos while working (I drive a truck) and I took your advice. There's someone I've known for many years but the energy of our relationship started shifting. We spent time then he pulled away for 4 months and came back out of nowhere. Said he missed me. Missed my face. There is definitely a connection between us but I took your advice and I asked him last night, what are we going to be to each other and he responded he didn't know because I don't want any more kids. ME, I don't want any more kids he does. It breaks my heart but I told him we have to part ways because no sense in getting something started that we know we're not going to continue. I know I did the right thing for my heart in the long run but it stings right now. My birthday is tomorrow and I wanted to be with him so badly but now I know I won't. I'm gonna remain lonely. He's Haitian, he's from New York like me, and he has amazing character and style and all that! But we don't have the same goals for our future. It stings 😞
This is the last text I sent to him: "Let me elaborate on that last text because I know I can sound blunt and I know I can be dismissive. I don't want to leave you that way. I like you more than that. At this point of my life I know exactly who I am and what I want. I am open to being in a poly relationship, meaning, another woman, however that's not a popular thing with most women and I don't even think or know whether you'd be open to such an idea. We can't be just friends because there's a connection between us and there would be too much sexual tension and I'm not that strong. We can't be lovers, you can't be my in the meantime guy because making love would be too intense and it would just fuck us both up and cloud our judgment. Undoubtedly I would be the one to end up hurt. I know why you came back. Because there IS a connection. However it would be a reckless disregard of my heart and emotionally irresponsible for us to continue trying to fit in eachother's lives knowing we don't have the same goals and expectations of one another. I need you to cut me off again because I could very easily love you and that's not what either of us need to happen. And I say this with a VERY heavy heart."
Me and this guy have been dating for 6/7months!! Everything was perfect! He made me felt special showed me a different world! I didn’t force anything he initiated everything!! And I asked him a few days ago where do you see “this” going. Like do you want a relationship in the future. He agreed at 1st . But two days later he stated that he doesn’t feel the same way I feel. I felt like me asking applied pressure and it scared him away.
@Stephan Speaks This guy whom I met one month back, showed interest in me, but I felt he was not looking for something serious. So I had the talk with him, showed him that I'm ready to walk away if he's not looking for a commitment. He rushed back to me only to make me more confused. He doesn't let me go nor does her make me feel that he's really interested. I know for sure that he has other options but he keeps telling me that he deeply cares about me, but he doesn't ask me any deep questions in order to know me better. Its mostly me asking him questions. He says its because he doesn't like asking questions about someone's personal life. I'm honestly confused.
I met a guy when I was 19 and we stayed together for 7 years before I found out that he thought marriage was too permanent. Two children later. I left him. I was so young, he did not help me with the children because he thought I would come back to him. Smh. I never went back. It was not a healthy relationship. Lesson learned. 7 years wasted, although I love my girls.
I was seeing a guy for 4 months (2 months talking and 2 going out)...he was introducing me to friends and family members but we still weren't a couple he said he needed more time that he needed more months to see what happens .....🤷🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️ He said he likes me and even invited me to a getaway outside the city I have realized he was broken he said all my exes were bipolar I told him look it is the obvious you haven't healed 🙄 you need to forgive I can't waste my time let's be friends ....because we have been acting as a couple and he even told me he cared a lot about me ....too soon ....he said he feels pressure by friends to formalize our status and felt pressured by me cuz I asked him what are we ?I mean he confuses me a lot I needed to ask after 4 months ....🤦🏻♀️.....anyway he told me if we have kept the dynamic as a couple we had have been a couple maybe but the same time he says after 4 months we didn't know each other enough 🤷🏻♀️I was like ....so 2 more weeks acting as a couple would have fixed it ?Never been so confused with a guy ever. .....he said at the end we should stay friends as the romantic dynamic as a couple hurts you and I don't wanna hurt you 🙄btw he got mad cuz I told him I feel you haven't forgiven properly....P.S we asked tough questions for 4 hours on a date 🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️🙄 he said that was not enough and it was his idea 🙈
I looove love love this video. Thank you Stephan. I was just telling my bf this morning that I came to the realization a man would remain in a relationship that’s making his partner unhappy rather than end the relationship. I have also always said ‘a baby is not Tylenol. If he ain’t got no sense now, he’s not gon have sense even if you have a baby with him’ thank you again Stephan
Im so glad I listened to this video. I just had a real tlk with a man I've been trying to get to kno for almost 3 months. And I had to tell him just yesterday seems like Im investing more than you, & at this time Im gonna step bac. If Im still available we can talk again. Like Im at an age I don't have time to waste my time. Love your videos and Im almost done with my "He's lying sis"!!❤❤❤❤❤❤
❤️ Get the best piece of relationship advice I ever received here 👉 www.bestrelationshipadviceever.com
I messaged you in FB. Please read it. If you have time. Its really impt. Please.
Im crying while watching this. 😔
How can l in contact with you sir
So I'm in a long distance relationship ! I need huge advice I already have watched so many of your videos I just don't know
Finally my ex lover came back begging me for mercy after he has left me for more then 9 months without no phone call or even chat, he came to my house begging us to come back again after finishing Dr ojie prayer spell prayer thank you do much #Doctorojie channel on RUclips .
I gave myself and my time with him a deadline without him knowing. We were exclusive after a few months but he had a year to make a major commitment. He did that within the first 8 months. We bought a home and moved in together. The following year, we got engaged and then married a year after that. He had no pressure from me to do ANYTHING. The right man will see your value and step up to be the man that you need. Ladies, state what it is you want and need from day one, set a realistic timeline and stick to your standards. Do not be afraid to walk away. Don't settle. ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you!
dont tell him your timeline. move in silence, ladies.
yeah but you opened your legs and home before marriage. Like you said he had no pressure from you at all .Yeah I wont settle , my legs and home are closed until marriage
@@irlandaise5631 There's such a thing as right message wrong delivery. I too hold to the belief that cohabitating and lovemaking is reserved for marriage, still I would hope to convey that message to sisters in a loving manner.
@@richelletvforyou8324 yeah it depends sometimes no , its just I see tones of comments where women say the men waited but they didnt wait if you see what I mean. They were doing what the society expects them to did, yeah make the man wait for 8 months but do the above without a marriage first so there was no commitment.. Women need to speak up and stop the loving manner bs etc .You hold that belief but you say nothing like plenty other women who dont speak up . You are conveying any message to her but you reply to me. Her comment is making look like she did something subversive but she didnt and didnt spread up either., no need to do if you follow the society rules and promotion in fact .
"lf you don't let go of wrong people,, u can be blocking ur blessing, love that"
I cant lie. I just got out of a relationship that was on and off for four years for all of the same reasons he has described. Over and over again disappointments and issues. When I say emotionally drained is how I felt. Depleted and torn down fighting tooth and nail. Breaking free is best and it’s not an ultimatum to request more. Know your worth ladies.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
Please!
Facts
You were too pretty for that nonsense anyways
@@katkos2750 thank you so much ☺️
And nowadays to find a person who is sincere, honest, pure, love from his heart and comes to you just out of no specific reasons is a real blessing, probably here we will not need deadlines.
This is why after a bad break up you need to heal and find yourself so you won't take any hurt into the other relatioship. Thank you for this ❤🙌😇 God really speaks through ppl 😊
Healing is definitely key, thank you for sharing ❤
I told him at the start I wanted to be married after 5 years. We are at 5.5, and I know it isn't going to happen. I've got my apartment and am moving Saturday 2/26. Of course, we have other issues like communication and his video game addiction, as well as his ability to help around the home, etc... so... I think it is time to cut my losses, and thank him for teaching me that I am worth so much more, and deserving of so much more. You Sir, are wonderful. I don't know if I would have had the strength to let go if I didn't listen to your advice, as an individual who I have never met or spoken to, but who spoke to me in a way that felt personal.
Thank you.
"if you are waiting for a man to do what is right, you may be waiting for ever."
When he said that, I FELT that
A wise woman once said, “Taking him as he currently is could you handle him being 10x more of that? If not, don’t marry him because marriage doesn’t change the person for the better.”
Some relationship are definitely a waste of time! This goes for both romantic and platonic.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
When someone show you who they really are, believe them the first time. Maya Angelou
Know the difference between someone that wants to marry because they really want to and someone that's trying to pacify you.
Absolutely!
That last sentence is crucial!! 👍🏾
Exactly. Big mistake to marry any man who wasn’t excited to get married in the first place. You’ll regret it big time
Men will also trap women with babies. Make no mistake. They do it for control. And if a man feels he’s more invested and really wants to be with you, he knows that many women will stay “for the kids”
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
Girrrrrrrrrrrrl and then they swear up and down that they didnt trap u SMH ..
You are so right I hear this over and over again
So timely. 100% on right man wrong time. 7 years ago I met my now husband. The first time we met him we had a really pleasant first date. But something within me told me/God told me it wasnt worth comitting there and then so I deleted my now husband's number after one date because he wasnt showing me enough interest (I did not want to beg for his attention). I went on with my life... 5 years later I receive a random text from unknown number low and behold it was my now husband who texted me. I had zero expectations but to my surprise he was showing me interest and showing me he wanted to give me his time and efforts... it wasnt long till we met eachothers parents and committed to marriage. Ladies! Listen to that inner instinct that is God helping you to live a fulfilling life dont force love... God gives his love freely and he will provide a man for you who will love you freely and naturally at the right time.
I'm here because I'm trying to understand and learn how to communicate these advices to my friends who are holding on to something that I can see is not right. It is a blessing that this video has popped up as my spirit has been troubled and concerned for my friends, this video confirms why I have concerns. Thank you Stephen!
@chanelwatson1983 then don't chase him.
If he can't decide what he wants from you or the relationship, it's not up to you to figure it out for him.
It's not at all unreasonable to expect that at your age, the two of you can break up now, and then get back together in a few years, after you've both done some personal growth.
@chanelwatson1983 He is stringing you along. If he really wanted you, he would commit. Walk away, ask God to give you your heart back and heal. I am praying for you 🙏.
Wow… this message came right on time! I’ve been second guessing myself about a decision I had to make even though I really didn’t want too… this video validates my decision and I know I did what was right for me and my mental stability. So much of this video resonates with me and my situation. I am still in love with him, and it hurts so bad…but I will have to just love him at a distance. If it’s meant to be, it will be. If not, I will silently wish him the best.
I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏
Same! I was second guessing myself
Prayers 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾 for you.
I know it hurts so bad... It's been a week since I left.. all I can think about is him.. and looking at my phone.. 😢 it's hard but one minute at a time.. I have to do this for me.. must pick my broken wings up and go..
@@stormyv.8890 .. same for me tomorrow makes a full week. I had to conquer my fear of not letting go. I’m getting stronger and you are too. 21 days makes a new habit.. you are well on your way!
Thank you! I needed to hear this TODAY! I asked someone im dating on sunday what his intentions were with me… i was in a 17 year toxic marriage in the past and i do not want to waste any time. His energy has changed since that conversation and i started feeling like i shouldnt have asked him. This video confirms that i made the right decision in asking. Thanks Stephan!
I'm happy this has been helpful to you and I pray that you heal all you have been through 🙏
@@MeetStephanSpeaks thank you! I have purchased your books and have done the healing work. Your resources have been instrumental with my healing. I am at the most peaceful happiest point of my life… relationship or not. I wake up everyday excited about what is coming my way. ☺️
@@trich7154 Nice!!!
This is the reason I never ask due to the fear of the dynamic of the “situation” changing. However, I need to start asking because too much of my time has been wasted. Some men are cool with “going with the flow” versus making something official.
@@shanp.2851 the dynamic definitely changed but i am glad to see it now versus 6 months down the road
Yeah you have to always set a BOUNDARY with men so they understand you are not always going to be available when they need you. If a man comes back, never forget how they left you. FULL STOP. BE RARE.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I appreciate your feedback.
Amen!!!!!!
Thank you! Worked for me. I made the decision of how much time I would give it and didn’t beat myself up for staying 1 month longer. Just didn’t want to spend so much of my life always being the one compromising. I matter too! Very inconsiderate and thought gifts would make up for it. I was no longer willing to become attached to a relationship that was one-sided; hoping he would hear me tell him about my needs and it never happens. I was no longer willing to settle for less than what I deserve.
I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Thank you. I’m happy with my decision. It was for the best. Thanks again.
I completely agree with this video in totality. I made sure I set my own standards and how much I can afford to invest spiritually, emotionally and time wise.
Thank you for, I appreciate your feedback.
I also heard that a lot of men actually be over it...but don't want to be the 1 to end it...for various reasons. They want the lady to end it. So they end up doing whatever they want at the end of those relationships
We ain't wasting no time in 2022
Glad to hear that, thank you for your feedback ❤
I just starting dating a guy and I ended the relationship because he says he honors God, however, nothing he does shows that he applies the word of God to his life and this is key to me.. I didn’t see no love for Jesus..(even though men who love God are not always good or whatever), but knowing they have a foundation that God is number one in their life.. allows God to work first. When I don’t see that I resist the devil and he always flees.it was hard though and it still is because I liked him and he liked me. We never had sex, because we only dated for 2 months. He wanted to honor the boundary that I set . Glad I saw the red flags before it grew to where it would be harder to let go. God is worthy. He will send the me the one that I won’t have to second guess.
Yes, clearly defined boundaries and expectations can minimize disappointments in the long run. It's better to have that difficult conversation now verses 5 or 10 years from now when your life has intermingled in this web. Stephan, you put your heart into this message, and spoke passionately about making the most of our lives which I appreciate. One thing we can never get back is "wasted time" and it's always better to release and let go what truly isn't for us. If the relationship doesn't uplift, encourage, edify, & nurture your spirit, then it's a solid no, and release. Release with love. Bottom line, if you are not leveling up and becoming the best version of you, then that's the not the man you need to build & grow with. Excellent message. Great points, & examples. Blessing & peace to you. "Love is a seed, if you water it, plant it on good soil, it will flourish."
EXACTLY!!!
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
@@MeetStephanSpeaksKeep up the great work. ❤ 🙏
Finally my ex lover came back begging me for mercy after he has left me for more then 9 months without no phone call or even chat, he came to my house begging us to come back again after finishing Dr ojie prayer spell prayer thank you do much #Doctorojie channel on RUclips .
@@kevinpeterson9730 Da'fuk FOH with this mess!
This!!🙌 Implementing dating deadlines all 2022!
❤ 🙌
Hi sir how are you doing
👀very important message. Thank you for validating that it’s ok to have an expiration date on a relationship 💫
This is so true there needs to be dead lines in when you want to be engaged/married too, I have seen women in a 15 year engagement and women in a 20 year relationship not even a ring on their finger I feel like this don’t get touched on enough. Loved the video!!
Now that I know how to properly vet men better, I’m not ignoring red flags or giving him a deadline. Instead, I’m keeping the deadline to myself and if he doesn’t meet it then that’s on him.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
Not gonna lie this is for the men too. No need to hold space for a woman if she's not ready to grow into it
Most definitely!
That's correct..
The dating deadline time frame 5 to 6 months no more than that....Have that HARD conversation. Let go don't waste time.
Thank you for sharing I appreciate that ❤
Thank you!!!! Time is precious, waste it wisely.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
Haha. Mine did that. Treated me bad for years. Disposed of me over and over. I begged him to do things to try to make our relationship better. He would make fun of me for it. Then when I finally walked away for good, he cried and said he didn't ever believe that I would leave. I'm thinking, "so that's a reason to treat me like trash? ".
I'm sorry to hear about that and I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏
This is such an eye 👁 opening message for our …
“Mind , Body & Soul” !!!
Now let’s do better ladies.
We got this 🙌🏾.
Thank you 🙏🏾 Stephan ☺️.
Your changing the “Game” again.
Or should I say “Mindsets” again.
Glad I could help 🙏
Yes
I totally agree about wasting time. It's about learning what you want and don't want, and knowing when to hold them and when to fold them.
Most definitely.
I truly believe you are channeling the Holy Spirit.
Thank you.
We must learn to listen, beware of those red flags. I heard it and stayed and waited. He did not change. Time wasted.
Oh Stephan, I have learned these lessons hard way and it hit me so hard the last part, regarding emotional impact on health. When it came to the point that I didn’t recognised myself I said enough it’s enough. Being independent it’s powerful and I’ve promised myself nothing like that will ever happen again and deadlines…well, are a must in relationships otherwise time get waisted and in a case of a woman wanting kids and family, sometimes might be too late due to biological ⏰ I woke up just in time😁 but definitely my intuition was screaming, I had to end it up sooner, people don’t change even though they say they will
I tell my friends on this journey of love I’m a moving train, I won’t stop moving until I meet that man who will truly love and respect me.
I pray that you receive the man who is truly best for you, the man God has for you 🙏
IM NOT HOLDING ON TO NO RAGGEDY RELATIONSHIP.....U EITHER WIN OR YOU LEARN ...BYE CLOWN ✌
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I appreciate your feedback.
Ego can be the only thing that make men struggle to let go. Ladies that cut off point will help you prepare yourself for the future
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
Wow...he said..."There's a lot of women not walking in their purpose because they're walking with the wrong man"🤯
This message came right on time. Dude kept saying it's only been 4 months, but I will not be disrespected and if he could that bad in 4 months, I don't want to invest anymore time.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
As a P.S: After watching a few of your videos, I blocked 3 other men, who were not right for me total of 4 men who were either toxic or too immature or both. Thank you.
(Initially on RUclips, I stumbled upon your videos. Hmmm,think God wanted to get my attention.) You got it.
This is a great reminder & helpful. Do you have a video on advice for dating over 50+. I've noticed these men just looking for a woman to pay her way for everything or a playmate, don't want marriage or a helpmate 🤔. I'm 50+ years old. I'm sure there's got to be some good men this age group with good values. 😊
Great suggestion, I will add it to my list to get it done!
Okay, this is informational. You dropped some knowledge.
"Learn the lessons. Forgive them and yourself. CLOSE the doors and move forward."
The most important relationship in life is the one with the person that you see in the mirror.
Points 2&3 are very crucial.. if he wasn’t acting or doing what I needed there was definitely no money given let alone sex! I had to stop dating so much because I was depleting myself. Now I ask questions to get a feel for him before giving my number.
The flawed women logic...waiting around hoping for a payoff to their toxic relationship. SMH!
True. Finally accepted the accountability of this.
Dude you are a real one for mentioning the pregnancy thing. Unplanned or planned by him and not the girl lol. That's my biggest fear about sleeping with guys... because people don't think a guy will try to trap you like that but they will!!!
Amen to the your intro
Well said ☯ Setting boundaries at the dating onset holds yourself accountable and lets him know where he stands. He either steps up or steps back while you stay on track and live in alignment with yourself.
Dang it Stephan. Stop reading my journal!!! I swear you are telling my story play by play. Sis, please don’t just hear, listen!!! Apply these principles. They are sooo applicable. I wish I would have received this years ago. Many blessings all!
🙏
Thank you for 21:01! I made a deadline in my head but I didn’t say anything to him!
Dude (respectfully) I'm so glad I discovered you, want to hug you right now!
Thank you very much I'm happy to hear that 🙌
I like that you mentioned how women can get to a point where there is no more energy to even try or care, this is very, very true. It's sad and scary how I literally no longer have the energy to care or give anything. There is a special place in hell for a man or woman who deliberately takes the wind out of another's soul where they cannot love anymore. I wish I had a positive male mentor back in the day, but they simply were not around. Thank you for your content.
I have really learned a lot being apart of your Q&As in the manifest the man God has for you. Your videos on U-tube and your 📚. It has helped me sit back and really evaluate myself as a person,when it comes to any type of relationship. I have found myself actually getting a lot closer to God than I thought I was before. And because of that I am so willing to wait patiently on him(God)and never go by anyone else’s understanding and my own understanding. When it comes to a relationship Between man and woman. And with that being said I Thank God For You. And keep doing what God allows you to do. Thank you Stephan you are so amazing. 🙏🏽❤️🙌💘☺️
Glad I could help 🙏
Your messages always come at the right time... I feel guilty for walking away but I know God has better things in store... I want what God wants best for me 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾 Thank you for this reminder!!!
I'm happy that this has been helpful to you 🙏
Thank you for this. Because this will help me when this comes up for me. I gave him only one year and that is it no matter what. He has showed me enough to make a decision. Ladies stand up to these men and don't be afraid to walk away it will be the best thing. Love yourself frist. Do not pour all of yourself in to him. Love all my beautiful sisters 💜❤💜❤💜❤
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
Thanks 👍🏾, I definitely believe that. My patience is now gone with alot. I let someone linger way to long knowing he wasn't marriage material, didn't want to get married, hypocritical , narcissist and a host of other very unhealthy attributes that don't add value to me.
I'm sorry to hear about that and I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏
Powerful message!! I’m single and working on myself to attract my highest vibrational match!
My divine masculine ❤️
Great advice for young girls and ladies in relationships... (listen up don’t block your blessings)
Thank you for sharing I appreciate your feedback!
I like something Tyler Perry said about seeing someone in all four seasons, to see how they handle trauma, anger, ups, downs etc. My question is in doing that, u would need longer than 2 months wouldnt u?
Exactly.. thank you!! I stayed a one long year with no commitment .. I was hurt and moved on .. I had to.
I'm sorry to hear about that and I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏
Thank you. Dating fatigue is what am going through now
Thanks Stephan for your advice on this topic! I agree that some men have a hard time with letting go or moving forward for that matter. I will say that unless he’s a true man of GOD and he’s realized that you’re his match, women will not experience any hesitation when it comes to taking the next step. However, we definitely must have a cutoff as to how long we’re willing to waste our time. Time is valuable and should not be wasted under any circumstance.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
There's other various reasons why he lingers too. Some other guys explained that very recently. They consciously let you be the 1 to end it...for various reasons actually.
@@jayc5756 Thanks for the insight!
@@renee167 Np
I’m at work and I’m going to MAKE SURE I come back to watch later
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
I totally agree with you. My whole life is a testimony to what you have described in this vidéo. Thank you so much for opening women's eyes. God bless you.
I knew 3 months in that Peter Pan Man Boy was not the one, though I stayed engaged because I felt bored and lonely at the time. I knew better and stayed in that situationship 9 more months. Lesson learned to never settle. Thank you for this message Stephan 🥰🥰
I love watching your videos
PS...I'm feeling so much better today.. stronger than yesterday!! Thank you so much for your advice and words of encouragement and prayers 🙏🏽💯🙏🏽
❤ I'm happy that they have been helpful to you 🙏
It's disappointing that we have to normalize men will never do the right thing so we have to. The bar is on the ground.
Great point..deadline...Work on the relationship, BUT...start the clock ladies...tick, tick, tick💯💯💯
I really appreciate your videos and I thank God for putting you in my path. I wish I knew a lot of things you talk about here before I agreed to move in with this person :( but I strongly believe that God has someone for me, but now with everything that I am learning from you, I will do things better in my next relationship. No moving in with no one anymore that's for sure. I long to be obedient to my Lord.
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
So true... I have over 7 years of waisted time with 1 person...🙄
🙏 I hope he reaches the point of truly doing what is best.
70 % of breakups by women. Sadly women have to be their own best friend and protector and financial supporter. so many men cannot handle modern times of male and female energy and mature relationships…. They simply take advantage and get lazy instead of stepping up …resulting in Poor friend, poor partner, which equals a very sad relationship. Keep your strength for yourself and someone worthy by proving it over and above what you already do for yourself.☮️🙏
I got divorced 8 months ago and still living with my ex husband under the same roof. We now get alone like friends. We both agreed the divorce was best for both because we were married and living like friends. I know I have to eventually moved to my own place.
I agree, it's 🕛 to set ourselves up for amazing things.
Those of us who love deeply, love deeply! 🙏🏿 The right person and the right time!
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
I LOVE that example of the casino - $1000 in and I'm gonna win something "hopeing" to hit the jackpot, but losing more. WOW!
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
Well it’s 3months and I haven’t met this guy am talking to, he had a few ups and down and it was explained and it was true. But I have given him a deadline for us to meet up and if doesn’t happen I will have to let him know that this is not for me even though he is a sweet guy.
🙏 I hope he reaches the point of truly doing what is best.
You live and learn 3 years wasted...2015
I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏
4 for me......smh
AMEN! Stephan, I absolutely love your content 🥰
Truth!! Word!! Awesome video!!!
9 yrs waiting for all the promises made to come true! He keeps saying he wants a relationship/future but he changes nothing about his life to move this to the next level.
I'm sorry to hear about that and I hope he reaches the point of truly doing what is best 🙏
@@MeetStephanSpeaks I kinda feel things won’t change as he’s over 50 yrs old and it’s been almost a decade. It’s hard, shame lies in realizing I can never have those years back. You’re right saying we invest so much time, emotions etc and it feels terrible to have nothing in return to show for it. Wish I had come across your advice sooner. Thank you for helping so many! 🙏🏼
Leave. He has no intent to do anything for you or with you. He literally isn’t willing to save himself… he damn sure isn’t going to do it for you.
Walk away
God bless you for this. It is right on time
❤ 🙂 Thank you and may God bless you as well!
I love listening to you! It's like you are speaking directly to me with all the issues I'm going through right now!
I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏
@@MeetStephanSpeaks , thank you that means a lot. You have a very special gift in your relationship ministry. You put things into words that I feel but don't know how to explain, and you validate those feelings along with giving the necessary next steps to move forward. I share your stuff with everyone I know going through relationship issues/divorce/singleness. Honestly, how do you know and understand women this way?
I needed this MOG! Even though you stepped on all ten of my toes...LOL, it was good to be reminded to stay on track. Better is waiting! Thanks for letting God use you! Blessings!
Glad I could help 🙏
I felt like I was in church just now 🙏🏾
I've been watching your videos while working (I drive a truck) and I took your advice. There's someone I've known for many years but the energy of our relationship started shifting. We spent time then he pulled away for 4 months and came back out of nowhere. Said he missed me. Missed my face. There is definitely a connection between us but I took your advice and I asked him last night, what are we going to be to each other and he responded he didn't know because I don't want any more kids. ME, I don't want any more kids he does. It breaks my heart but I told him we have to part ways because no sense in getting something started that we know we're not going to continue. I know I did the right thing for my heart in the long run but it stings right now. My birthday is tomorrow and I wanted to be with him so badly but now I know I won't. I'm gonna remain lonely. He's Haitian, he's from New York like me, and he has amazing character and style and all that! But we don't have the same goals for our future. It stings 😞
This is the last text I sent to him:
"Let me elaborate on that last text because I know I can sound blunt and I know I can be dismissive. I don't want to leave you that way. I like you more than that.
At this point of my life I know exactly who I am and what I want. I am open to being in a poly relationship, meaning, another woman, however that's not a popular thing with most women and I don't even think or know whether you'd be open to such an idea. We can't be just friends because there's a connection between us and there would be too much sexual tension and I'm not that strong. We can't be lovers, you can't be my in the meantime guy because making love would be too intense and it would just fuck us both up and cloud our judgment. Undoubtedly I would be the one to end up hurt. I know why you came back. Because there IS a connection. However it would be a reckless disregard of my heart and emotionally irresponsible for us to continue trying to fit in eachother's lives knowing we don't have the same goals and expectations of one another. I need you to cut me off again because I could very easily love you and that's not what either of us need to happen.
And I say this with a VERY heavy heart."
This is so on point, thank you for your wisdom. I have already shared
This with a friend.
Me and this guy have been dating for 6/7months!! Everything was perfect! He made me felt special showed me a different world! I didn’t force anything he initiated everything!! And I asked him a few days ago where do you see “this” going. Like do you want a relationship in the future. He agreed at 1st . But two days later he stated that he doesn’t feel the same way I feel. I felt like me asking applied pressure and it scared him away.
@J P thank you! I needed that
This’s so good! ♥️
I felt you were speaking to me
Glad to hear that, thank you for your feedback!
That's precious information! That explains why they hold on to the relationship and even propose when it's obvious we're not in love.
It isn't an easy situation, but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏
@@MeetStephanSpeaks well I know how I want to feel in the relationship. Your videos help me stay focused.
Thank you for this. Very true what you said, makes one think? That we need to STOP dragging-holding onto a relationship that is going nowhere.
It really helps when we embrace that.
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Yes, I agree!
Pauses at the first 20 seconds to say YES!!!🎯 Ok goes back to video.
@Stephan Speaks This guy whom I met one month back, showed interest in me, but I felt he was not looking for something serious. So I had the talk with him, showed him that I'm ready to walk away if he's not looking for a commitment. He rushed back to me only to make me more confused. He doesn't let me go nor does her make me feel that he's really interested. I know for sure that he has other options but he keeps telling me that he deeply cares about me, but he doesn't ask me any deep questions in order to know me better. Its mostly me asking him questions. He says its because he doesn't like asking questions about someone's personal life. I'm honestly confused.
I met a guy when I was 19 and we stayed together for 7 years before I found out that he thought marriage was too permanent. Two children later. I left him. I was so young, he did not help me with the children because he thought I would come back to him. Smh. I never went back. It was not a healthy relationship. Lesson learned. 7 years wasted, although I love my girls.
I just walked away from a 5 year on again off again relationship. It hurts but I had to let it go.
I was seeing a guy for 4 months (2 months talking and 2 going out)...he was introducing me to friends and family members but we still weren't a couple he said he needed more time that he needed more months to see what happens .....🤷🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️ He said he likes me and even invited me to a getaway outside the city I have realized he was broken he said all my exes were bipolar I told him look it is the obvious you haven't healed 🙄 you need to forgive I can't waste my time let's be friends ....because we have been acting as a couple and he even told me he cared a lot about me ....too soon ....he said he feels pressure by friends to formalize our status and felt pressured by me cuz I asked him what are we ?I mean he confuses me a lot I needed to ask after 4 months ....🤦🏻♀️.....anyway he told me if we have kept the dynamic as a couple we had have been a couple maybe but the same time he says after 4 months we didn't know each other enough 🤷🏻♀️I was like ....so 2 more weeks acting as a couple would have fixed it ?Never been so confused with a guy ever. .....he said at the end we should stay friends as the romantic dynamic as a couple hurts you and I don't wanna hurt you 🙄btw he got mad cuz I told him I feel you haven't forgiven properly....P.S we asked tough questions for 4 hours on a date 🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️🙄 he said that was not enough and it was his idea 🙈
I looove love love this video. Thank you Stephan. I was just telling my bf this morning that I came to the realization a man would remain in a relationship that’s making his partner unhappy rather than end the relationship. I have also always said ‘a baby is not Tylenol. If he ain’t got no sense now, he’s not gon have sense even if you have a baby with him’ thank you again Stephan
Im so glad I listened to this video. I just had a real tlk with a man I've been trying to get to kno for almost 3 months. And I had to tell him just yesterday seems like Im investing more than you, & at this time Im gonna step bac. If Im still available we can talk again. Like Im at an age I don't have time to waste my time. Love your videos and Im almost done with my "He's lying sis"!!❤❤❤❤❤❤
Sir , 😌😇 you saved my relationship today with my man ♥️
I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏