I have my Narc radar on full blast now, ever since leaving a narc relationship! I watch people more vigilantly now and am very curt and don't indulge now on not being "nice." This is a wake up call to never, ever trust anyone and I'm on a rampage on finding a way to get revenge on the narc in a strategic manner.
Mental illness is unchanged if you are happy or mad. Be happy and dance far away from sick people.Time is precious and spend every minute in love.Self love and gratitude for the marbles in your head that you’re out of harms way.
A couple of Helpsters plugged this podcast in the comments under some _After Midnight_ clips, and I've been binging this podcast ever since. It's nice that the circle has closed, and Delanie is now plugging @M on here. It's also so good to hear Dr. Ramani answer some thoughtful questions.
My narc abused me and treated me terribly for 2 years. Anytime I tried to leave he would beg for me back and promise he would change. I would give him another chance. His behavior started getting bad again, I told him about his behavior we got into a huge fight, he decided he was the one that left me, he really feels like he “won”. It’s terrible feeling that after I’ve taken him back so many times he has left me as if I’ve done something wrong…. its such a mind F.
I did, so many times. I told my mother I felt hopeless and like killing myself when she told me constantly that everything I wanted to do or was happy or hopeful about( eg move away from her) would fail or be horrible. She kept doing it, and the only response I got was " I don't believe I have that much influence over you " and " How do you think I feel knowing I made my daughter's life miserable!" ( play the victim- but keep doing it).Finally I stopped telling her things and she complained I was" secretive, you never tell me anything ". Good stuff- will fail or be awful. Bad stuff- always defended the other side and its my fault even when its not. Only me, never did it to anyone else.
OMG Robin. As awful as I feel for you I am glad you shared that with me because I feel less alone. My mother said a couple very very similar things that yours did. She said “I had a depressed daughter!” As if it was worse for her to have a depressed daughter than it was for me to be depressed. That I should think about her as having it worse at the same time having the cognitive dissonance of feeling like she’s not talking about me but like she is living a parallel universe. It’s hard to explain that feeling.
When I told my mother the awful things she did to me, she would say, "I don't remember that" or "Why would I do that?" She just kept saying the same things, then tell me, "maybe I didn't love you the right way, but I love you" (Gaslighting). Then she went right back to doing the things that hurt me. I finally went "Grey Rocked." She died shortly after that. Nothing changed except she just stole from me more and held me in contempt.😢
❤ Dr. Ramina has been so helpful to Me! I'm going to stay single for 3 years for 30 years with a narcissist. I've got to heal and find Myself again.
Dr. Ramani
Dr Ramani is amazing!
Dr. Ramani is keen, knowledgable and aware of the sneakiness of the narcissist.
I have my Narc radar on full blast now, ever since leaving a narc relationship! I watch people more vigilantly now and am very curt and don't indulge now on not being "nice." This is a wake up call to never, ever trust anyone and I'm on a rampage on finding a way to get revenge on the narc in a strategic manner.
Mental illness is unchanged if you are happy or mad. Be happy and dance far away from sick people.Time is precious and spend every minute in love.Self love and gratitude for the marbles in your head that you’re out of harms way.
A couple of Helpsters plugged this podcast in the comments under some _After Midnight_ clips, and I've been binging this podcast ever since. It's nice that the circle has closed, and Delanie is now plugging @M on here. It's also so good to hear Dr. Ramani answer some thoughtful questions.
3:28 no healthy narc
8:33 changing the dynamic
10:42 boundaries
11:33 DEEP
13:07 no contact
14:26 gray rock
15:46 yellow rock
16:41 firewalling
18:59 vulnerability fear
22:03 why they fear it
24:35 co parenting
29:21 healing
32:38 therapy
36:10 supply/mutuality
37:34 regulate
38:51 restraint
40:39 various groups
50:05 who can leave them
52:30 pity ends
56:29 pulling the roots
1:00:49 healing
1:06:24 hero’s journey
My narc abused me and treated me terribly for 2 years. Anytime I tried to leave he would beg for me back and promise he would change. I would give him another chance. His behavior started getting bad again, I told him about his behavior we got into a huge fight, he decided he was the one that left me, he really feels like he “won”. It’s terrible feeling that after I’ve taken him back so many times he has left me as if I’ve done something wrong…. its such a mind F.
Great questions and answers - thank you!
What about telling them how much they hurt you and how badly you felt and were damaged severely
I did, so many times. I told my mother I felt hopeless and like killing myself when she told me constantly that everything I wanted to do or was happy or hopeful about( eg move away from her) would fail or be horrible. She kept doing it, and the only response I got was " I don't believe I have that much influence over you " and " How do you think I feel knowing I made my daughter's life miserable!" ( play the victim- but keep doing it).Finally I stopped telling her things and she complained I was" secretive, you never tell me anything ". Good stuff- will fail or be awful. Bad stuff- always defended the other side and its my fault even when its not. Only me, never did it to anyone else.
OMG Robin. As awful as I feel for you I am glad you shared that with me because I feel less alone. My mother said a couple very very similar things that yours did. She said “I had a depressed daughter!” As if it was worse for her to have a depressed daughter than it was for me to be depressed. That I should think about her as having it worse at the same time having the cognitive dissonance of feeling like she’s not talking about me but like she is living a parallel universe. It’s hard to explain that feeling.
When I told my mother the awful things she did to me, she would say, "I don't remember that" or "Why would I do that?" She just kept saying the same things, then tell me, "maybe I didn't love you the right way, but I love you" (Gaslighting). Then she went right back to doing the things that hurt me. I finally went "Grey Rocked." She died shortly after that. Nothing changed except she just stole from me more and held me in contempt.😢
@@mday3821 mine too. Very convenient memory
We have very similar mothers.
I wish the description had links to Dr. Ramani's earlier appearances on Self-Helpless.
Here you go! ruclips.net/video/cHX0HcTw_nM/видео.html and ruclips.net/video/87CZJy8YrR0/видео.html