One thing I do when I leave feedback about someone going above and beyond in any kind of service is not be too specific. I'm never sure what may be looked down upon by upper management (e.g. a crew member on RCL gave my son a free scoop of ice cream after he had a bad fall and was inconsolable - my son wrote him a hand written thank you note for being nice, and I mentioned his attentiveness in the survey, but we didn't mention the free ice cream).
That is a great idea and very helpful example. Even though you and your son appreciate the kindness, the company may just see *"you gave away extra food."* Very true.
It always astounds me how people mistake an employee being friendly as them wanting to be your friend. THEY ARE JUST DOING THEIR JOB. Just be polite and let them get on with it
Also if you want to spend some extra time with someone who is working, always ask in the form of a question, mentioning that it's fine to refuse and you don't want to get them in trouble or late on their schedule. And then give them a warm sincere smile when you acknowledge their refusal.
THIS! I had a guest I was kind to & afterwards he kept coming back, asking for my schedule, & number. I Didn't treat him any differently than my other guests 🤷♀️
I'm usually friendly when I work, and I attract many people who like to talk for an extended time during check out. I don't like to be rude, ever, but it can definitely slow me down and make lines longer.
I worked as a bartender for 9 years and learned how to manage people like that. It amazed me, too. I had to train a few bartenders on the same thing because they would end up in a situation they couldn't handle. (Because, of course, 'friends' expect favors.)
I was thinking the same thing. People treat bedside nurses the same way. They have assignments, and they're crossing them off their list. In nursing school, I was told to do patient education while hanging an IV.
Yes, even a cable tech saying to a customer after completing the work "If you like my work, please let the company know!" Other techs would dislike that I got numerous emails and calls and letters to the company about how they liked my making paying for cable services worth the money they paid because I gave them the best product available. They could have done the same, but maybe their work was not the same so they got jealous.
I work in retail and worked in food service. Those customer service surveys are primarily a masturbatory exercise for management. Every place that I've worked, anything other than a 9 or 10 counts as a zero. So you think "the service was good but not excellent so I'll give them an 8" which becomes a zero. In general, management doesn't care too much about the positive comments because that just means that the staff is doing their jobs.
Yet that's exactly how most people do it in any kind of service. I don't work on cruise ships, but can guarantee you if someone has a problem, 99% of the time they'll complain only in the surveys.
Some of it is non-confrotational people. I'm one of those. I'm so afraid of confrontation that I'm terrified to bring up anything (like, I'll never point out if I get brought the wrong food at a restaurant). For me it comes from being raised by a parent who yelled a lot. I straight up never had the thought that staff would rather know
I follow most of the major cruise channels and thank you for producing something original instead of, "10 things not to do in the buffet line," "10 things to pack," and other tiresome topics that keep getting recycled. Your original content shows respect for the people that follow your channel.
Seriously. Those same regurgitated lists are so tiresome, and unnecessary. There's not a single "thing to pack" specific to cruises that I've ever needed that I wouldn't also bring on a beach vacation. You got clothing, swim suit, sunscreen, toothbrush, and toothpaste? Then you're good.
@@CydeWeysThe few that do hit me with the things to pack or things not to pack are ones that are more specific to cruising in areas or lines. Or were for other reasons than general lists. While it wasn't on this channel, one that really did help me was one that I've since lost track of that was by a pharmacist who went through a lot of over the counter medication (in the US and Canada) that would get you in legal trouble in different areas on cruises. He also went into ways to either be able to use it (in some places,it would just require a prescription to have it) along with some potential alternates that might be available if you would need them in those areas that didn't have the issue. There was also a supplementary one about some more common prescription drugs that had the same issues...and, later on started going with a country by country thing trying to do the same for destinations.
While not on a cruise I was told by wait staff in a nice restaurant that stacking plates gets them in trouble because if the customer has time to stack plates, then they were not clearing the table quick enough
I do little things like gathering the forks and knives together on one plate, and that's it. They always smile, a real smile, not the fake one they give you 99% of the trying to make you feel special when all they are calculating is how much tip they can weasel out of you.
A nice restaurant doesn't rush guests either. Having time to stack the plates is part of what you're paying for when you use their table and place setting. There is a difference between the eat-n-run kinds of restaurants that masquerade as fine dining.
Really good advice. On our last cruise, we had a great room attendant who I spoke with a couple times. He mentioned he had a young daughter who missed him and who he tried to call anytime they were in port. I thought about getting her a gift from the ship and leaving it in our room. Then I thought it was probably presumptuous to think he would want that and in any case if he did, he could buy it for her himself. Kid doesn’t want a gift from a random other dad her dad had as a guest. I just left him a good tip.
Frankly, most of these highlight to me how horrendously cruise lines treat their staff. The constant surveillance, lack of trust, overworking and threat of punishment. If that was any company on land anywhere in the EU, the law would come down on them like a ton of bricks. That is not how you treat staff and it should not be legal.
Reading this really brought home just how poor the working conditions are. You've also described the labor conditions for a big chunk of the US. edited to add that this is why I'm so reluctant to speak up at all. It puts the staff in a difficult position
How sad that you believe maintaining standards equates to horrendous treatment of employees. Constant surveillance? Yes, there are supervisors monitoring your work. Threat of punishment? This is not accurate, the only "punishment" is either losing your job or not getting your contract renewed - the exact same as any other job (if you don't perform up to standard you will be gone). Many of the cruise line jobs that are tip based are highly sought after because they can earn far more there than they could in their home country.
This is where being introverted is a real advantage. You'll never catch me holding a prolonged conversation with a stranger if I can get away from it! But I have a hard time resisting cleaning up around the table after we eat. My kids are so messy, I feel so guilty leaving the crumbs and mess for anyone else to clean up.
I think cleaning up crumbs etc is not so bad but what the staff don't like is guests piling plates up etc. in a way which we feel is logical to us but then the staff just have to disassemble our half-baked efforts at tidying up and re-do it the way that is most efficient in terms of transport and loading into dishwashing areas etc.
I have been on a lot of cruises as a solo passenger, and I am a bit OCD when it comes to my stateroom. I get up in the morning, make my bed, have a shower, get dressed, put all my clothes away in draws or the closet and leave zero evidence I was even there at all. We'll, this has caused no end of grief and much anxiety for some stateroom attendants, but I simply can not leave my room in a mess! That's just the way I am. Some have even asked if I even slept in my room that night or jokingly enquired, "Who's room did you end up in last night?" 😂
I think doing that is different from picking up your dishes etc, and carrying them somewhere else, It looks like you've waited long enough for them to do it, so you'll take care of it. That's not the case, but it could simply look that way to a supervisor.
@@ozymandias7940Interesting. I’ve only been on a couple cruises but I had a similar approach to you. It’s really weird because I’m a bit of a messy slob at home or when working on a task, but when I’m on a cruise, in a hotel or somewhere not “mine” I tend to clean up after myself and leave no trace of my presence! My supervisor at work has gotten used to this habit. I clean a lot of aircraft as ground crew and while I’m working the place looks like a bomb has gone off. I leave my cloths, sprays and other knickknacks all over the cockpit or galley or whatever I’m assigned to while I’m working. It’s all part of my mental map and everything has a place and reason. But when I’m done, it’s hospital level sterile! Same with my hotel room or cabin. Messy during the evening but spotless the next morning. My supervisor is reasonably intelligent and often makes use of my traits to ensure the important areas of the airliner are spotless. He just ensures that I have sufficient time and resources then just leaves me to it. Not gonna lie though, I’ve probably mildly confused some pilots when they reach the aircraft early, looked through the doorway to find the cockpit absolutely littered with cleaning supplies and cloths with me awkwardly crammed into some corner or another industriously scrubbing away. 😆 90% of the time they just back away and find something else to do until I’m done. Didn’t think anyone else was like me tho.
I'm polite but never do these things. I guess I have a different definition of being polite. I can't imagine ever asking a crewmember to hang out. That's crossing the line.
@@Milesco it’s blunt, but fair. someone who has worked in the service industry would know that many of these behaviors create problems for staff, regardless of intention. someone who is out-of-touch with the reality of working in the service industry wouldn’t know. people being paid to serve you are, more often than not, being friendly and engaging with you because they are paid to do provide you with that experience. the proper execution of their job (their entire reason for being there) requires them to perform services with a pleasing and warm personality while demonstrating unobtrusive professionalism. anyone who mistakes these interactions as emanating from neutral power dynamics is out-of-touch. this man has done well to care enough to challenge his behaviors, solicit honest feedback, and use his behavior as an example of what not to do for other out-of-touch posh travelers.
Wow, a lot of the things that cause problems for cruise staff also cause problems on my job as a nurse. I dread a family that really likes me and wants to talk strictly because it takes time away from my patients. A lot of similar situations. Some of these situations must apply to a lot of working people.
Unfortunately these would be the same people who be upset because you didn’t rush to their family members aid. Too many people want to make it a social event.
yes, I agree....they smile to your face, and write up a note afterwards about THAT nurse. Just to feel better. Don't worry....we all know you you are...
I also work in a Hosp, and the timing thing can most def be an issue, I never want to be rude, so, I listen with all my attention, then tell them that, I better get back, I have a job I need to do, then laugh. It's works every time.
I work at a public library and handling people who come in only to talk is a big part of the job. Especially elderly people, mentally disabled adults and douchebags who people that aren't trapped by having to be service minded wouldn't talk to. It can be really tricky not to hurt someone's feelings when you have to end what they perceive as a nice chat (or in the douchebags case a refreshing rant) because you have other tasks you have to do or other patrons to serve. Especially the developmentaly disabled can have a really hard time understanding that I can't just talk to them my whole shift. But I think every service job has to handle people that don't understand the notion of "me being nice to you while I work does not make us friends"
I love how you centered what the staff needs over what you thought was best, and presented it in such a clear and succinct way. Thank you for sharing this is so helpful.
When I was waitstaff, it was nice when people didn't absolutely lay waste to the table, but otherwise, if you've got dirty paper napkins and straw wrappers gathered on one plate for easy disposal, that's helpful from a germ perspective as well. Just about anything else guests do can complicate bussing the table, though. Enjoy your meal, and feel free to keep little bits of trash in one dish if you're so inclined.
I made sure my children cleaned up after themselves and didn't make a mess. I wish more parents would teach their children proper table manners. My son thanked me for "hounding" him about this as he can eat and walk away from the table without half the food on him and he's at a military college!
I tend to move everything to the part of the table most accessible to staff (away from the wall or the center), stack utensils on one plate, stack garbage on one dish.
Actually as a waiteress, I preferred if the customers didn't do anything. The only thing I ask is to not make a mess on the floor. Everything else, it's much easier if I can do it my way knowing how to stack how to hold in my hand and also how to stack it back in the kitchen. Ive stopped cleaning up the table of restaurants ever since experiencing it myself. Leave it. It's better for me.
I never understood the concept of buying a worker or entertainer a drink. As someone who doesn’t drink alcohol, I would never want this. You can’t assume people drink overall or that they don’t just abstain when working, as they should.
It's just a part of tipping culture, and it doesn't necessarily need to be an alcoholic drink. I'm sure most people would gladly pay for a non-alcoholic drink if they're offering anyway.
I was at a concert in Vegas. Small venue. A person bought the group a round of drinks. The lead singer thanked them and took two drinks explaining the guitarist was under 21. 🙄 You never know who doesn’t or can’t drink.
I cannot agree with you more in regards to BOUNDARIES. I never lose sight of the fact that I am the guest and they are the employee. I show my appreciation quietly with CASH.
So true. I work in a service industry and I appreciate short conversations that get to the point. I'm not your friend. I don't have time for or care what your back story is. Just tell me what I can do for you. If you're pleased with my service, let my employer know. Most people only contact employers to complain. A compliment goes a long way.
@@Lovesapuzzlethis is how I feel, backed up by the fact of how many seriously embarrassing conversations I've witnessed between guests and crew... ...let's just say some of them have that Johnny colonial speaking to the the exotic foreigner vibe which must be tiresome. The only longer conversations I've had have always been crew initiated one because my server was coming to the UK and was asking me questions and other because he started joking about cricket (Indians loved their cricket!). Funnily , one the cricket one I think I was doing hi a favour I don't even watch cricket!
@@NarrativeEscapes I think the key is to recognize spoken and unspoken clues. When one end of the conversation wants it to be short, the other should respect that.
@@NarrativeEscapes And you thought it was about a game! Doncha no he was talking about the accidental vegan meal he gave you of ground up crickets and soy?
I always say Thank You to people who serve me - I was raised this way - serve the appetizer, thank you, serve dinner, thany you, etc. It’s force of habit for me.
I do that too but now I’m going to make sure I don’t over do it. Maybe a smile part of the time would better. I’m sure we wear them out when they hear that at every table by every person.
Maybe it's the difference between a pro-forma "thank you", like getting off a bus or getting one's meal, and one suggesting extra was done and making others want the same?
On our Alaskan Cruise, we were dining at the main Dining room and it was dessert and coffee time. Their regular coffee machine broke down that evening and they served us coffee from the specialty coffee shop. He noticed that we clearly appreciated the upgrade and we got it for the remainder of the trip. We thanked him discreetly as we do believe he did an exception for us and that it’s more trouble for him. We give him rave reviews for him at the survey for this attention.
Addressing problems in person, rather than online, also applies on dry land. There's been so much mockery of people who ask to speak to the manager--but businesses actually prefer it, because it gives them the chance to immediately make things right, rather than suffer a one-star online review. As someone whose family owns a retail store, please *talk* to us, if you feel something is unsatisfactory. Thank you!!
@@AxelQCand the reason many people do not complain is the most common response for businesses is to get their back up and go in to ‘defence mode’ and try and shift it back on the customer. Seem it to many times from both angles.
Exactly. Which is why the business would much rather you speak up and tell them what went wrong, so they can fix it and keep you as a customer. @@AxelQC
Sadly, I've seen that happen too, and it's just wrong. Or as my Dad told me when I started working, "The customers are the reason you get to go to college, so treat them with respect." Granted, unfortunately, there are some customers who cross the line (which is why he had to drop a no-questions-asked return policy), but most people are honest and kind, if they're treated with consideration. @@xr6lad
These are not things that the average cruise passengers does, I think they are more in the "youtube passenger" vein. I have occasionally been on cruises where there is a non-paying passenger, one who is in the social media or travel industry or on because of a casino, and they tend to want to prove to crew that they are "just like them" and go overboard in trying to mix with crew instead of passengers.
As the offspring of a domestic servant this hits home. I consider myself equal to those that serve me. As a result I try to make servers and service people easier.
I will never understand being unkind or ungrateful to someone doing a service job for me (exceptions apply of course). They're making and bringing me dinner that is better than I can make and I don't have to clean up. THIS IS AWESOME.
@@haleyf149oh dear, you ought to really do a course in psychology or human behaviour and then you would understand your fellow men a bit better, and yourself and it would help you to be less arrogant and judgemental of other people
@@autumn5852 how am I arrogant for wanting to be respectful to someone making me food? I don't understand why someone would be rude to someone who is serving you food. That's arrogance?
@@haleyf149 I never said you were arrogant for wanting to be respectful to someone making you food. Although that sounds like conditional respect, because otherwise you would respect all people and not just single out chefs or other people who make food for you. Edit. I saw the next paragraph. And yes, you are arrogant for thinking you’re the only person in the world who thinks correctly which means you simply cannot and will not understand how anybody could possibly think or behave any differently from you and if they do, in your eyes, they’re obviously wrong, which is the height of arrogance. If you ever care to consider that other people might have their own thoughts and feelings, you could start with a basic course in psychology to help you to try to understand people, which would make you kinder, more understanding and less arrogant.
Your comment about the table service clearing struck a real cord with me. When staying in motels I always wanted to tidy up before we left, so the staff didnt think we were slobs! But my sister who was a room attendant, said please, just leave it! Folding towels & making beds acually makes our job harder, when we go in to strip down a room. Its better left in a heap, easier, and quicker for them to bag & sort. 😊
Last hotel I stayed at , all trash was in the trash can , all towels were heaped on the bathroom floor together . It was a two bed room but I was staying alone . I never touched the bed I wasn’t sleeping in and left the one I did unmade . This way the maid would know . And I left a tip on the bathroom counter . Hotel maids have to move like the wind . I don’t want to make her job harder , plus I’m not a jerk . I don’t understand people trashing hotel rooms
Similar story with restaurants. As a waitress I hated when customers tried to help me by stacking the plates and bowls made my life harder. Can't think of a single time it helped me.
@@catherinesanchez1185 We always leave an in-room tip of cash and a note, for who ever has cleaned up after us during our stay. And we hardly ever take anything home we have bought for our trip. So in the the Islands, (particularly Rarotonga/Fiji ect) we pack up a bag to leave for the room attenadants to take (if they are allowed)... Not so much fun after covid, but unopened food, and grog and body products they are welcome too.
@@catherinesanchez1185you sound like a jerk, and an arrogant one at that, believing you’re better than others because you strip your bed and leave towels on the floor.
Great subject Gary. Gave me a few things to ponder. As a frequent solo cruiser I often get quite friendly with the crew & contractors. I know there is that line you don't cross, but I have noticed if I talk too long they start to get uncomfortable or other staff get annoyed. Good reminder!
People, those people who work for "you" do not care about you, or your long boring story of how you got sick on the last cruise. They are NOT your friends, buds, pals and are working for a living while you lole around, fat, with your birkenstock shoes on with with knee length socks and your obese wife is off the side, spitting tobacco into the champagne glass, burping and re-adjusting her sized 70 bra and making a miserable mess of it.
The point about assissting in clearing tables is true even at land-based restaurants. The servers have a method for how they stack plates to maintain balance, clear food off of them, etc. You think that you're being helpful but in reality making their job more difficult.
I tend to move everything to the part of the table most accessible to staff (away from the wall or the center), stack utensils on one plate, stack garbage on one dish. I hope that is helpful. If it is not, I would appreciate finding that out.
@@JaniceinOR in my experience, if I want to carry everything in one go, utensils on one plate is useful, but rubbish not necessarily. People who finish all their food is the best. But this also depends on cuisine style and actually the ability of the waiter/waitress. People have different carrying styles/strength. Moving away from wall is helpful, but anything beyond that it's best to allow the waiter to decide. Edit: Actually on second thought utensils on one plate may not be good either because I have also experienced when customers stacked all forks and knives and it became so heavy it was hard to balance. So leaving it up to the waiter/waitress is still my recommendation
This is good advice for anyone who is working for you. As a Handyman, the polite people are a delight to work for. When customers get too chatty, it takes away from my time working. Or worse, when I am trying to work, they keep talking and get upset when I do not look at them. Treat everyone how you want to be treated at your job. Polite and let me get my work finished. 🤗
My husband and I hired a handyman who would not shut up the entire time! It was so bad, the painter we also hired commented about him to us and said "how does he get his work done?" I wonder now, does he tell people that the homeowners talk HIS leg off?😂
Agreed!. I'm an introvert & absolutely love my own company, crowds make me uncomfortable so i have no idea why I'm finally going on a cruise where I can't get away from 7,000 ppl i don't know😳. I also don't like the idea of awkward silence so I've found myself become a chat Cathy & can't shut it off, mind you i just wanna run (in my head). Ok I've talked myself into staying in my cabin for the entire 6 day cruise, which sounds like heaven ngl 😊
These are very helpful tips, and I will keep them in mind for my next cruise. I also have been one to clear my table if it is just a cup or small plate. But then I tell myself that staff might not notice the crumbs or water condensation rings that I've left behind. Leaving a cup or plate on the table ensures that the table will be entirely ready for the next guest that sits at the table.
I like to be helpful too. But if you make it look like the table was never used, the host/ess might try to seat the next guests there without the table having been properly sanitized.
Lol, same. I’m sure both staff and the next customer prefer that the table is wiped between customers so I leave my dishes if it’s that kind of restaurant. Ifthere is a place for me to bring my used dishes then I comply as I assume the staff are vigilant about wiping any empty tables.
Great video. I especially appreciate that your examples were mistakes that you made yourself- it shows that even seasoned travelers can make mistakes and can learn to do better!
Thanks for nailing this down Gary. Intuition has had me generally going in the right direction on these things but this video has helped confirm it. I feel more confident now to limit myself to thanking individual crew personally, jotting down names for the post cruise questionnaire, not trying to turn cruise members into friends and discretion in the dining room. I think sometimes cruisers misinterpret crew friendliness as an invitation to ever escalating friendliness and then crew members are in the awkward position feeling hamstrung to turn it "off". Their job is to be friendly and we can help them by keeping a mutually respectful distance whilst being friendly and appreciative in turn.🙂 Sorry I've missed so many of your Live streams lately 😭 As you know I was at sea most of January and work/personal conflicts since then + plain forgetfulness🙄. Back soon!
You have to be very full of yourself if you are misinterpreting crew’s customary affability for anything else. They are there to do their jobs and not thing else. A bit of discretion and empathy.
I agree completely! I am a rare American introvert - I don’t really want to go beyond basic small talk. I definitely noticed slower service when our server was super chatty. I am ALWAYS respectful, tip above and beyond auto gratuities, and include names in the survey. I much prefer polite, efficient service to chatty, overly intimate service. Very un-American of me. 😂
Not un-American - that's a stereotype. There are plenty of us, myself included. And I'll relay a story from my former boss, an Ethiopian who was a tour guide in Addis Ababa before he came to this country : I asked him which foreign nationals were the best, and he said Americans and Italians (despite that little matter of Italy annexing Ethiopia). Why? Americans were so friendly and generous, and they treated everyone as equals. Be yourself, be a good representative of our country, and be proud of our country. I've traveled abroad quite a bit and that outlook has always served me well.
Ya, shoe on other foot. Chatty servers and managers constantly begging for attention "Is every all right?" "Can I get you something else?" and refilling your water glass constantly. I leave a very little tip or none when that happens.
I would assume that cruise liners wouldn't tolerate sexually harassment or assault against staff by guests. If a guest is harassing/assaulting staff then they'd also be a danger to other guests. Not to mention the legal exposure of staff exposed to harm, suing.
@@snuscaboose1942 it is extremely hard to bring legal action or prosecution of laws against cruise companies even with massive evidence-- cruise companies deliberately use loopholes in maritime law to prevent being liable for almost anything.
I know someone who worked for a cruise line in a higher up position who was unceremoniously fired and dumped off at a port in Asia without notice because she went to bat for three female crew who were being sexually harassed and assaulted by male bridge crew. She was threatened with litigation if she made it public and was pointed to review some tricky wording in her contract that prevented her from doing anything even after her employment was terminated, which leads to the realization that the cruise lines KNOW that this kind of assault is happening and are covering themselves at the expense of crew safety, to say the least. Another person I know has a daughter that worked for a different cruise line and was almost raped by a drunk passenger. He beat her up and ripped her clothes but was thwarted by another passenger. She was also immediately fired and dropped at the next port. The guest? Nothing happened from the cruise line- but the other passenger made a stink and alerted authorities once the cruise was over and the former employee was contacted, but in the end she was only given some small monetary compensation from the cruise line who never admitted what it was for and called it something else, and the man who attacked her went scott free.
I was actually taken aback by your observation about buying drinks for cruise entertainers. We were so appreciative of a band that peformed on a recent cruise (who coincidentally appeared in your video!) that we bought drinks for the group twice during our cruise. While they sensibly deferred their drinks until they had completed their sets for the evening, and seemed appreciative, I had no idea that it could be problematic for them.
Agreed. I was a performer on multiple lines- it depends on the company. The truth is you cannot get DRUNK with a passenger and they cannot use their drink package on you (or get caught doing so) but buying them drinks or coffee that keep them under their allowed blood alchohol level and they are: a. Allowed in the venue, b. The venue is not overcrowded, and C. Not transporting a full glass from one venue to another they are not breaking any rules on most lines. Some managers have petty jealousy issues of entertainment crew who have more privileges than them- and will use it as a personal vendetta against some people. But there is nothing against the rules and they are the ones in the wrong.
I offered an UNOPENED bottle of wine to a riverboat cruise service worker. (I don’t drink, and received it as a “prize.”) I was told they would be FIRED if caught with any alcohol on board.
Very helpful advice! One of my most embarrassing cruise experiences happened in the main dining room when I tried to hand an empty salad bowl to the waiter and knocked over a full glass of red wine. I felt terrible, and even worse when we were moved to a fresh table and someone from management came over and insisted on replacing my wine, so your advice about leaving things alone at the table is well heard. I find the best thanks (apart from deserved gratuities) is noting the names of exceptional crew and complimenting them by name in the post-cruise survey.
I agree! In addition, mention them by name, but don't be too specific, especially if they did you a special favor. Just a simple compliment about them being attentive or helpful or what not, instead of what they specifically did.
Good video. On Carnival Vista several years ago I reported the hanging chair on our Havana Cabana was not "hanging". The responder told me that parts were on order and it would not be repaired during this cruise. No problem, then he hit me with $150 in onboard credit for my trouble!
My first cruise was on a now defunct line with 100 pax ships. Crews were allowed to take empty spots on excursions. As a mid 20's guy at the time, I thought it absolutely terrific that my Swedish 20 year old cabin attendant and her two friends were along for a sail and snorkel trip in the Grenadines (don't remember which island it was, Mayreau or Mustique).
I can't say about these days but in the old days entertainers were allowed to mix with passengers. I knew many that worked on cruiselines. I guess here it was mainly how often that made things difficult. Other staff it has always been a no no.
@@mmckenzie8085 Entertainers are usually permitted to use the guest areas of the ship, so naturally they will mix with the guests to some extent while doing so. Going on shore excursions with guests goes far beyond that.
Great episode. The only thing I would add is saying please and thank you for any services rendered. When ever a plate of food or drink is brought to me I thank them or if I ask for something else I use, please. It is a common courtesy, is so easy to do and is greatly appreciated by not only the crew but whomever you are speaking with.
I’m honestly surprised that’s not standard practice. I’ve said please and thank you for such things for as long as I remember. Funny thing is so do my friends. One got into a car crash and was charged with driving without due care and attention, accidentally missed her court date due to not having the new key for the mailbox replacement promptly and got arrested for it. Being a normal, ordinary person when the police called her because they came to her place while she was out earlier she freely agreed to meet them to be arrested. Apparently it was the most surreal experience in her life because everyone at the police station kept staring at her. It wasn’t until they offered her a meal despite how late it was when she finally figured it out. She was being civil, courteous and remembering her please and thank yous and the police were just *not* used to it. The custody staffer read a list of what was available so she said please while making her choice. His sudden change in expression finally tipped her off. It’s probably why she was given as much food, water and books to read that she wanted. It was pleasant for them not to be shouted and cussed at for once.
@@mikoto7693why did your friend have to remember to say please and thank you? Did they just suddenly forget their manners or is it just a memory problem in general that they have? If they forgot their manners, do you know what prompted that? Was it stress?
Pretty much all employees are unwilling captives when they interface with customers. You want be polite and agreeable, but sometimes customers take it as a budding relationship, however short-term, and want to increase the amount of time interacting. It’s especially ironic if both parties are ‘just trying to be polite’.However, the staff have no choice.😬
When you see people developing an intimate relationship with a chatbot just because it addresses them by name, it's not so surprising that others mistake a professional smile that is literally just the job description for a romantic interest.
I asked our room stewards to do something nice out of the ordinary for my husband's birthday, they went over the top, but I didn't dare say anything in my review except that they were great. As I was afraid I would cause a ton of more work. And we had been tipping them extra every day on top of our paid gratuities, so I especially would have hated people who didn't tip at all and had a cheaper inside cabin,like us, expecting special treatment. I didn't expect it, I just was glad that they could do anything extra!
Cruises are just different from any other vacation. The crew lives and works together 24/7 for 6 to 9 months. We stay as their guests for 7 to 21 (or more) days in a row on a journey which is almost never in the same place twice. We sleep, eat, drink, relax, exercise, etc. all together within the confines of their workplace for the entire journey; all the while they get to worry about our comfort and safety. Then, the crew gets to do it all over again with a new set of guests. It's understandable why they would like to just do their jobs without the (seemingly) nice gestures which usually just complicate things for them.
It would always strike me, on about the last day of a cruise, that within 24 hours a whole new set of thousands of people would come abord the cruise and while it would all be new and fresh for them, it would be like the 20th time in 20 weeks for the staff and crew. I have come to a point where I'll let the crew person I am interacting with drive the level of "friendliness" and I won't assume that escalating it on my part is desired or appropriate. I'll just take my cues from them. Plus, I do tend a little to the introvert side, and that helps with the healthy boundaries. As for helping with the cleanup, that was a bit eye opening. I was raised to be polite and always be mindful and not dismissive about the people who serve you (in whatever way). My wife clued me into the "bundle the dirty linens" approach. And I am going to have to rethink my habit, at any restaurant, that me stacking up the dishes before leaving is a help. Maybe it's not.
Interesting about the Cabin steward asking repeatedly if everything was all right. On our last Cruise, we had 3 major issues with our cabin. The poor guy could only report these issue every day till 2 of them were finally resolved. We knew after a few days, he couldn't do more than report the issue. We not only gave him a good review but an extra bonus for at least trying.
I was in Vegas and I reported every day for 3 days there was something wrong with our room's A/C. Crickets. On the 3rd day as I was packing to leave to go to another hotel in anger, a maintenance worker came in, took one look at the A/C unit's back and said "oh look here, the last guy forgot to plug in the connector for the A/C". I have never been back to Planet Hollywood again and have told everyone going to Vegas to never stay there. Besides, the room looked like it hadn't been updated and stuff fixed since 1970....formica tables? Green plaid drapes? Seriously?
@@mutteringmale Our ship cabin A/C wouldn't turn off, and being on an Antarctica Cruise we really didn't need A/C. Options were to move to another room, but wife is handicapped, and this was the last HC room. They offered extra blankets (laughing). They resolved the issue by stuffing a bunch of foam rubber in the Vent.
Every cruise I made all of my complaints upfront (i.e. steward doesn't need to fix the sheets on the bed every morning because I'll destroy it 5 minutes later anyway, AC can be a fridge without any issue to us without any issue, and yes, shoving a chunk of rubber under the mattress for extra leg elevation was excellent etc.) and we got along fabulously with the staff as far as we're aware. Being honest and upfront helps everyone.
@@mutteringmale sorry you had such a bad experience! Sounds like I’m not very great place to stay. On the other hand, I love green plaid.😊 green is my favorite color
I travel solo so interacting with the dining staff and my stateroom person is nice for me. I don’t think I’ve overdone it. I’m grateful for this video!
I also travel solo, and I find the dining staff and even the officers interact with me. I guess because I'm sailing and dining alone, they give me some added attention. I even got to know the manager of Cagney's (NCL) and about his family while I dine. I know he's busy, so I don't take too much of his time. But it's really nice they give me some attention. I agree: this was a GREAT video!
Have you tried the trick of not answering when they say "house keeping!" out side, of laying in bad nude with a $100 bill over your thang when they barge in? No? Well, I guess that's just a Vegas thing.
What a great video! On Enchanted Princess last year, our lovely concierge went out of his way to have my friend and I invited to the 360, which was by invitation only at that time. We were absolutely thrilled but made sure to thank him privately as we knew this would not be possible for other guests seated around us. I have taken small personal gifts for a couple of crew we had met on previous cruises and stay in touch with, but given them in a more private manner. I am also guilty of trying to "help" with tidying up and will be more mindful of how it affects the crew going forward.
Thank you for this video. I’ve cruised for years and don’t remember this topic being addressed. I’m going to be more observant on land too. A tip is what they need. A negative comment is what they don’t need.
I had an odd experience on a cruise ship just before Covid. One of the senior security staff recognised me from a previous cruise. No idea how she did as we’d literally had one interaction about 18 months previously. I’d left my Kindle in one of the lounges while I went to the bathroom and it went missing, turned out one of the bar staff had handed it to lost property. But she spent ages looking into it for me, probably just doing her job and she dropped it off in my cabin, but I really appreciated it. I mentioned it in the post-cruise survey, and she thanked me as it came up in her review.
50/50 chance of either having a good memory... or your name popped up on her passenger manifest as a repeat customer to give special treatment to, so they can try to make you happy enough to keep being a repeat customer. Why yes, I AM getting jaded and a bit cynical as I get older... why do you ask?
We experienced this on a RCL cruise in Chops. The server spent a great deal of time with us one morning. The next morning we were seated way in the back, as I called it, "the penalty box". Thank you for all of your interesting content. Cheers
Thanks for the video. I think you are way too apologetic towards the cruise lines, Gary. You and your partner spending time with an off-duty gym instructor should in no way reflect on her performance in a negative way, That is far out of bounds of a normal employee-employer relationship. Cruise lines should treat their employees like human beings, not slaves... Same holds for sharing your feedback with the cruise director. If they don't play a role in evaluating the on board experience, including entertainers etc., then what are they there for?
I was thinking the same thing. Inviting an employee to go on excursions with you, no matter how well-intentioned, is probably going to make that employee extremely uncomfortable. There are always exceptions, of course, but at that part of the video I was just like... oof. My man. No. Bad idea, bad idea.
Totally agreed. Most of this seems obvious to me. Also the categories he says are way too broad when the issue is not that he is being polite, it's that he would be being inconsiderate by not thinking of how his actions affect the crew.
@@quailypoes at the same time, the upper management harshly reprimanding her seems like an overcorrection to the problem rather than addressing it in a respectful manner. My guess is that petty office politics seeped into it as well and why she bounced the moment her contract was up.
As a former crew member and frequent solo traveller, TIME (and timing) is the most important thing to be aware of. It works both on ships and on land, with crew members and other professionals too. Constantly asking for things to be done in a special manner for you (a main dish for lunch, a dessert at dinner etc.) puts an incredible amount of pressure on many workers (from the ones serving you, who have to pass on the requests, to the ones in the back who have to break their well-oiled routine and make time and space to do it). So many people ask for special things thinking they are the only ones doing it or in the minority, and they are most definitely not. So just be mindful and don't make a habit out of it. :) Also, no: no one is sitting in the back, waiting in the "ready set go position", twiddling with their fingers, in case a special order or request arrives. Everyone is on a very strict, tight schedule and there is no idle time or less than busy staff. 😊 In general, extra time is the hardest thing a (well-intended) guest can ask from their crew. They also sometimes feel trapped in this kind of scenario (you’re on a ship, going to see that guest for maybe a week or more, you kinda have to be extra nice and attentive), but it does cause problems for them from their colleagues (hugely underrated issue by guests) and their superior. Some other things brought up: Being overly affectionate or off-shore activities together - again, huge, hard (and I thought obvious) no. Buying someone a drink basically forces them to drink it on the spot, and that is very inconvenient. Alcohol - no, for the exact reasons you mentioned. Speciality coffees to go could be somehow more appreciated (because nowhere, not in the crew bar, nor anywhere else like the crew mess can you find good free coffee, just decent at best). But again, it’s all about the timing (for example, it’s not going to help if they're about to start an auction or talk or seminar). Even so, you must be aware of their dietary restrictions and preferences - maybe they never take it with regular milk, because they are lactose intolerant or vegan. Too much of a hassle, IMO. Helping to clear away dishes by building a stack of dirty ones at your table's corner - big no-no. Apart from how it looks (bad for the entire room, on ships or at a restaurant), waiters have their own system for clearing tables, and stacking dishes on the side messes up with that. Bonus fact: The cruise director cannot remember all of the praisers to pass on, no it’s their job to do so, as you well mentioned, so they will be forgotten often as quickly as you said them. In conclusion, even if it comes from a good place, if travelling solo (like I often do on land) or just feeling chatty, go befriend the other guests, as they really are on a vacay as you are, and also don’t feel obligated to put on a smiley face and entertain you even at their own detriment. 😊 Excellent video all in all, Gary, brilliant idea for opening up this discussion, I sometimes forget these are lesser-known facts... :)
12:00 I have a food allergy, and have learnt that if I ask in advance for accommodation then Judy keep my mouth shut when it is accommodated I get better service. This is on a cruise, at a resort, even at a local restaurant. In my review afterwards I mention how happy I was with the accommodation that was done for my dietary issues. And leave it at that. Advertising to everyone that I got a special meal in the middle of the meal is just wrong as there is ALWAYS someone who gets upset and wants the same accommodation even though they don’t need it.
Very interesting. I knew about don't try and "help" serving staff because it makes them look bad. I agree on giving very good reviews at the end of the cruise using the official system is the best help you can give to crew members, because that's what management sees as an aggregate KPI. And your particular cabin attendant can be identified using the database, for example. In fact in many systems, particularly good reviews or bad reviews will be flagged, and if someone is consistently getting great reviews they know this person "gets" customer service and their career prospects will be very good.
TLDR: 1) don't be a liar. 2) don't make others jealous. 3) don't interrupt their jobs for a long period. 4) don't get intimate with the workers. 5) don't offer alcohol to employees. 6) don't do their job
Wow - very helpful! Like you, I mostly travel solo and have been doing a few of these things thinking I would be making the crew’s jobs easier! This is really excellent information for people who are just trying to do the right thing by helping us do it better! Thanks much!!!
I think as a rule for life. You should never buy anyone an alcoholic drink. You don’t really know where people are in life, and offering people alcohol is not polite. And it’s wasting you're money, especially if that person doesn’t drink. Just hand them cash if you want to tip them. Cash is king you can never go wrong with that. 💵
Surprised at you and Mark wanting to spend time with the fitness person outside of the ship. She should have politely refused and say why she can't join you.
Great video, good points and tips 😊. My son was a waiter at a country club and he used to to hate it when the guests would stack their dishes (with the best of intentions), he said said it made his job more difficult because there is a technique that they use to clear the table. I would never have thought it was an issue until he told me.😂
I’m guilty of stacking my dishes. And putting any paper things from sugar etc on my plate at the end. I’m going to stop that now that I realize that may be making their job harder. This is a great video. What we do on land may not be appropriate on a ship.
And depending on what is done, or not done, within your family, stacking dirty dishes on top of one another at the end of the meal, or between courses, may be considered offensive to other diners at the table.
It's not appropriate on land either, you just haven't yet seen a video to convince you otherwise. :) They have a very well-defined method of clearing tables and stacking dishes, messing with their system would only cause delays and make it more difficult for them to do their job. Also, it looks bad to have a stack of dirty plates at the end of the table for the rest of the room, so the waiter then needs to drop everything and rush to your table to clean it up first, because of how bad it looks. Hope this helps! :)
@@LoredanaTI’ve seen videos say that about restaurants, but the comments are always filled with servers saying it is actually greatly appreciated unless you’re going to a high-end restaurant.
@@TheHcjfctc That's mainly because there's a difference between servers (proper waiting staff) that go through culinary school and learn the job (and this was the norm, no matter the class of the restaurant), and part-time or seasonal hires, that usually do everything by the ear (like how they do it at home). You can spot the first ones by noticing they don't need 5 rounds to clear your table. They serve you through your left etc. It's these small etiquette rules that used to be the norm everywhere. And those servers stayed in that profession until retirement, not just as a summer job or for some quick bucks. That's still the case in many places in Europe. But it's true that nowadays, you can barely see a flight attendant older than 30 - same thing with waiting staff. It's not seen as a profession anymore, but more like a pit stop. However (!) I can assure you that the ones working on cruise ships are properly and thoroughly trained, otherwise they couldn't handle the sheer work volume and fast pace.
It's all a matter of understanding "upstairs-downstairs" rules and expectations. Over 29 cruises the crew have always told me the best way to show them appreciation and help their promotion opportunities is through the final survey and mentioning their name. I also try to show my appreciation through a generous tip, over and above the one included in my bill. And I will include a note of thanks with the tip on some occasions.
I agree on number one: complain, but nicely, politely and constructive when necessary. That being said, for the most part, the excursions desk doesn't care.
Tell them first and don’t put it on the survey unless something was really wrong. The survey is way more important than most people realize. They think they are just critiquing the experience. You could get someone fired.
@@mutteringmale Well... I don't know who you are of course BUT I would be saddened if I read you just kicked the bucket! I don't think your comment was very nice but you are entitled to your snarky opinion.
@@Puzzler-qv2hn Without snarky, sarcastic free thinking free speakers you would still be slaving in the salt and silver mines. Treasure us, bathe us in lavender, pet us, parise us for we are your last bastion before the dark night takes us all.
Thank you for a very informative video, Gary. My wife and I are always determined to be good cruise guests, and we want to be perceived as polite, and not causing trouble. I don't think we have ever inadvertently done something the crew members dislike, but it's helpful to know beforehand. I appreciate these new tips. Thanks again.
*This is a truly helpful and vital video and I thank you so much for it!!* Especially the last tip because we often think we're helping the crew when in actuality, we are "stepping on their toes." Thanks!!
This is without doubt the most valuable and helpful video I've yet seen on cruising. ✨ Good manners, thoughtfulness and consideration for waiting staff and servers should be everyone's starting point, either on land or sea. But the insights of ships' crews that you offer are very helpful, thank you. I suspect there are many people who clumsily attempt to express their appreciation and but sadly cause only misery. ❤
I bring a small note pad so I can leave my room steward a short 1 sentence note about a need or concern, if one comes up. I don't take their time away from duties by talking with them. I have found my concerns are better addressed using this method.
As a former performer on multiple lines: you can absolutely buy them drinks/coffees/water bottles if they are not actively working or above their allowed blood alchohol levels. They cannot get actively drunk with a passenger or walk from one venue to another with a full glass. Truth be told many performers will refuse a drink (and use policy as a reason) because they dont want to be "stuck" having a long drawn out interaction with a well meaning guest. Social batteries run low when youre answering the same question over and over again with guests, and sometimes they dont want to be "on." However- if you want to offer to buy someone a drink (and yes guest areas have better liquors and cocktail selections than most crew bars) a coffee like Starbucks or a water bottle ( neither of which they get for free) and make it clear you dont expect an interaction/their attention and instead are just doing it out of a getsure of appreciation ("hey i would kovw to get you a round, no need to sit and chat with us- we know how long of a night this must be! But we figured you'd enjoy a little something on us- have a great night!" its generally not only allowed but very much appreciated.
Exactly. True politeness is showing appreciation without creating an obligation or constraint in return. Just make it clear you're offering out of kindness and with no expectations, and refusal is a perfectly fine answer. Because the people you appreciate also have a right to their private time alone especially when that private time is a 15 minutes rest between the 7th and 8th performance of the day out of 12.
2 of the most worst things I have seen with customers and crew on a ship was once in the Haven restaurant, the Maitre'd walked around to all the tables and gave all the guests Hero cards to fill out with her name on it. It rubbed all the crew the wrong way and you felt obligated to fill it out or she would get upset. Then once a customer filled out a NCL Hero card for the Haven bartender and came down and loudly read it to him in front of 20 guests. So tacky. I wanted to ask her. Did you tip him? That is how you appreciate him. Not some public announcement in front of everyone. Because the guest was making herself feel special in front of everyone instead. She was trying to impress us, not him.
Great video. I've worked 17 years in hotel hospitality, and all of these apply to hotels as well, especially the first point. I would add that when a guest has a problem, 99% of the time the staff can solve it. But only if they know. I hate those times when a guest has an issue I could have fixed if they had spoken up.
I went on a cruise once where my cousin was working there, when I saw them for the first time I gave them a hug fortunately no one seemed to mind. I tend to give chocolate bars with my tips I started when I did a halloween cruise and they loved it so much I kept doing it. I also normally give a bonus at the end of the cruise along with some toiletries like toothbrushes or toothpaste. As my cousin works on a ship I know how hard it is to get them especially as thier off days may not coincide with a port day.
One of my pet peeves is people who talk but have nothing to say. I watch Gary’s videos because he is informative and I always learn from him. Good job!
This is all interesting. I guess like you say, their job is to be friendly, brief exchanges of pleasantries is all good, but mostly just let them do their jobs. We don't have special diets but that warning to NOT gush about how great the special meal/dessert tastes is a good warning, just b/c although it is well-intended, it draws attention and puts the staff on the spot and they can't just 'whip up' that same special request for others without given advance notice.
This is wild to me, because I thought these tips were just common knowledge/sense? But maybe that comes from my years in the service industry and having to deal w people who do these things and unintentionally made my job harder.
overall excellent message. Though I would say you should have better differentiation between "polite" and otherwise over-sharing/taking time/etc. You often conflate the two. There is no situation where you shouldn't be polite. Politeness is something that you should always do for all people in all situations. The biggest thing in these situations is just to think about the impact of what your interaction is having on the other person. These employees are busy, don't take up their time unnecessarily, and remember that they are at work, all interactions should remember this. For example, most people aren't allowed to drink alcohol at work, or have romantic relationships with customers. Cruise lines are no different. overall great tips though!
Agreed-i think some people don’t understand that social interaction is not a universally positive thing. Politeness and maximizing social contact are very different. I think you put a good point on it that it’s about consideration for others, thinking critically about what will actually help them with the understanding that they’re on duty at their job when you see them
I would add that someone boasting about being a polite person is already a red flag. Then making public announcements to cheer an employee on their work place during their work shift is a black flag. That is not appreciation. That is embarrassment to the highest level. Politeness goes with discretion. And respect mandates giving an opportunity to accept or refuse the offer with no consequences of any kind.
Once again Gary your honest and open sharing of stories all based on your personal experiences this is just one of many reasons that I think your reviews are among the very best out there. Thanks for ensuring your content is relevant and interesting to a wide audience. Keep up the great work.
I cruised with Holland America to Alaska and can’t think of anything I would have had to complain about during or after the cruise. I am always polite and friendly, and the crew were too. It is obvious that being over friendly or monopolising crew members would be unwelcome so am surprised that this would have to be pointed out to anyone. As for expecting staff to spend their spare time with you, that’s definitely crossing a line.
I had a different experience on Holland America. There were many issues that occurred, and each time we brought them up (with guest services, wait staff, room attendant, etc) they never seemed to care. It was either like "why should I care that there is hair in your food? What do you expect me to do?" or like we were interrupting their social time when we asked for assistance.
What a great etiquette video, thanks Gary. What this reminds us is that unless it's a specific job they are doing, the crew are there to serve everyone and not just you.
I have followed you and your excellent and thoughtful commentary about cruising for some time. Your thoughts and insight about what is helpful to the crew and staff are one of the most eye-opening segments you have done. Your honesty and candor are much appreciated. I have made the same errors myself, that is, thinking my praise and actions are helping crew staff when they actually may be hurting them. Cruise lines do a great job of weeding out poor service-minded individuals, we want to be sure that those who are doing exceptional work are thanked in a way that actually promotes their career. Thank you!
Such a great video. I never would have thought that piling up plates could be unwelcome. It makes me wonder if waiters and waitresses everywhere wish we would be so “helpful.” Thanks for always providing such interesting content. Like the waitress, I’d love to hear/read about what equipment you use to get such great shots. It often looks like you must have a drone. 😊
Oh Gary, how I wish EVERY cruise patron would see this and heed the advice. I really appreciate that you gave the point of view of the staff personnel, otherwise we might never hear about it.
Thank you, Gary. Hadn't thought about the majority of your points before. Viewed myself as helping when I wasn't. Lots of food for thought for when I'm in similar situations on land as well. Thank you for the valuable insight into how we can really help.
Many of these have been known for decades. And I can never fathom (and it’s mostly those from the USA) that seem to have a need to not only collect ‘new life long friends’ like a charm bracelet everywhere they go, want to become the best buddies of the staff. These people see thousands of people a year - your not their ‘buddy’
Very, very, good info here Gary. Although the thought of being a great guest originates from a good place, there may indeed be unanticipated consequences so thank you for these examples. If I may... My wife (who is from Thailand) and I were on a European destinations cruise and my wife got pretty sick. It was the ship's hair salon lady (also from Thailand) who brewed up this hot tea mix that my wife said is a very common home remedy used by "Doctor Moms" in their native country. My wife got better almost immediately and I thought the thing to do was to tell the ship's high officials about this wonderful and extra-personal care. The Thai beautician, however, explained she was acting way outside her normal area and did not want to have to explain to administrators how she had to scavenge through the galley for the various ingredients (one of which I remember was the pickled ginger from the sushi restaurant! 🤣)
My very first cruise, our first dinner out in the buffet, we met up with 6 other folks. Out of habit, I started picking up their dirty plates. I never saw a crew member run so fast to stop me... LOL... Same cruise, my cabin steward told me it was not necessary to fold my dirty towels and neatly stack them in the sink with a post-it note saying "these are dirty" on the top... Also, they really don't appreciate you picking up the empty cans and bottles, and cleaning the ashtrays in the smoking area 🙂 Live and learn...
Great topic to cover! Buying crew drinks in some circumstances could be tantamount to getting them fired. While there is a crew bar, the tolerance is very low and if a crew member exceeds it, they are dismissed...and lose their mariners' right to free repatriation back to their home countries. I HAVE helped crew on limited occasions, such as helping the Havana deck crew gather up chair-cushions before a sudden rainstorm would have soaked them. Any boss watching would have seen us ALL pitching in, so I think it was okay. Certainly the CREW appreciated it.
Yeah exactly my thought. Instead of suggesting being "less friendly" to staff as a solution, that customer ought to bring these issues up with the company directly. "I don't appreciate how poorly you treated your staff, and I will in future choose to spend my money on companies that offer their employees decent work conditions." (Also, while I'm already at it, if you spend your free time like this you clearly own more money than what you need for a happy life, and you'd better spend the surplus on making a happy life possible for others as well. THAT would be the polite thing to do.)
The story about the custom baked alaska that other guests suddenly wanted as well, reminded me of "waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup. Shhh, be quiet or everyone else will want one too".
It's also an ignorance issue, and many people have NO idea how much work goes into preparing those special meals ahead of time, or how the restaurant/grocery store they're at really works. I worked retail in a grocery store, and it was CONSTANT that people expected us to have a warehouse full of everything in the back room, which we never had. Because ALL grocery stores are on what's called a "Just In Time" ordering system, where stuff is delivered every day and it's calculated to try to get the EXACT amount needed every day... which often fails because the world isn't that predictable.
This video reconfirms my holiday choices are the best; booking an oceanfront home overlooking the ocean for a fortnight. No worries about “stepping on someone’s toes “ by being too polite. Plus not having to navigate my interactions with 3,000 cruise passengers or crew members by unknowingly being “polite”. Thanks Gary, for an informative video. 👍 👏 😁
I have no idea why I watch these videos. The chances of me ever going on a cruise is about par to ever being invited to the White House. LOL! That is, for dinner. LOL! But I find it fascinating and love the videos Gary makes. They are always enjoyable.
Great little article Gary, Nice to see a content provider admitting that they don't have all the answers AND takes a very original angle. I enjoyed this one.
WOW!!! I had no idea, thank you for this great advice. I still owe RCL an email providing feedback on my cruise, mostly positive, only negatives was certain food items. I'm guilty of the dishes too. I finally had a crew member tell me, no leave it, that's our job. So I did.
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One thing I do when I leave feedback about someone going above and beyond in any kind of service is not be too specific. I'm never sure what may be looked down upon by upper management (e.g. a crew member on RCL gave my son a free scoop of ice cream after he had a bad fall and was inconsolable - my son wrote him a hand written thank you note for being nice, and I mentioned his attentiveness in the survey, but we didn't mention the free ice cream).
That is a great idea and very helpful example. Even though you and your son appreciate the kindness, the company may just see *"you gave away extra food."* Very true.
You are a smart woman. 👍
😊
Good call
Oh dang. I didn't think so deep. I hope i didnt get them in trouble 😢.
It always astounds me how people mistake an employee being friendly as them wanting to be your friend. THEY ARE JUST DOING THEIR JOB. Just be polite and let them get on with it
Also if you want to spend some extra time with someone who is working, always ask in the form of a question, mentioning that it's fine to refuse and you don't want to get them in trouble or late on their schedule. And then give them a warm sincere smile when you acknowledge their refusal.
THIS! I had a guest I was kind to & afterwards he kept coming back, asking for my schedule, & number. I Didn't treat him any differently than my other guests 🤷♀️
Same with sales people, and realtor 😂.
I'm usually friendly when I work, and I attract many people who like to talk for an extended time during check out. I don't like to be rude, ever, but it can definitely slow me down and make lines longer.
I worked as a bartender for 9 years and learned how to manage people like that. It amazed me, too. I had to train a few bartenders on the same thing because they would end up in a situation they couldn't handle. (Because, of course, 'friends' expect favors.)
Every single piece of advice here is applicable THROUGHOUT the service industry, be it at a restaurant, a hotel, an event venue...
You read my mind. Just remember your manners, behave appropriately and put your positive feedback on the survey.
Good point!!!
I was thinking the same thing. People treat bedside nurses the same way. They have assignments, and they're crossing them off their list. In nursing school, I was told to do patient education while hanging an IV.
Yes, even a cable tech saying to a customer after completing the work "If you like my work, please let the company know!" Other techs would dislike that I got numerous emails and calls and letters to the company about how they liked my making paying for cable services worth the money they paid because I gave them the best product available. They could have done the same, but maybe their work was not the same so they got jealous.
I work in retail and worked in food service. Those customer service surveys are primarily a masturbatory exercise for management. Every place that I've worked, anything other than a 9 or 10 counts as a zero. So you think "the service was good but not excellent so I'll give them an 8" which becomes a zero.
In general, management doesn't care too much about the positive comments because that just means that the staff is doing their jobs.
Pretending something is alright to be able to complain about it later just sounds like a cruel setup.
Yet that's exactly how most people do it in any kind of service. I don't work on cruise ships, but can guarantee you if someone has a problem, 99% of the time they'll complain only in the surveys.
Everyone can name someone they know who will do this.
Customers do this in every industry. It’s usually a way to try and get $$$ or fees waived out if the company .
Some of it is non-confrotational people. I'm one of those. I'm so afraid of confrontation that I'm terrified to bring up anything (like, I'll never point out if I get brought the wrong food at a restaurant).
For me it comes from being raised by a parent who yelled a lot.
I straight up never had the thought that staff would rather know
And pretending this is polite behaviour is an insult to politeness.
I follow most of the major cruise channels and thank you for producing something original instead of, "10 things not to do in the buffet line," "10 things to pack," and other tiresome topics that keep getting recycled. Your original content shows respect for the people that follow your channel.
Seriously. Those same regurgitated lists are so tiresome, and unnecessary. There's not a single "thing to pack" specific to cruises that I've ever needed that I wouldn't also bring on a beach vacation. You got clothing, swim suit, sunscreen, toothbrush, and toothpaste? Then you're good.
I once heard someone in a video recommend going grocery shopping so you don't have to leave your cabin. I stopped the video right there.
@@CydeWeysThe few that do hit me with the things to pack or things not to pack are ones that are more specific to cruising in areas or lines. Or were for other reasons than general lists.
While it wasn't on this channel, one that really did help me was one that I've since lost track of that was by a pharmacist who went through a lot of over the counter medication (in the US and Canada) that would get you in legal trouble in different areas on cruises. He also went into ways to either be able to use it (in some places,it would just require a prescription to have it) along with some potential alternates that might be available if you would need them in those areas that didn't have the issue. There was also a supplementary one about some more common prescription drugs that had the same issues...and, later on started going with a country by country thing trying to do the same for destinations.
@@petergilbert144Lol, why in the world would they even want to go on a cruise in the first place?🤪
@@petergilbert144 everyone is different and wants different things on a cruise/holiday. I think it would be a horrible experience. Not for me at all.
While not on a cruise I was told by wait staff in a nice restaurant that stacking plates gets them in trouble because if the customer has time to stack plates, then they were not clearing the table quick enough
I do little things like gathering the forks and knives together on one plate, and that's it. They always smile, a real smile, not the fake one they give you 99% of the trying to make you feel special when all they are calculating is how much tip they can weasel out of you.
A nice restaurant doesn't rush guests either. Having time to stack the plates is part of what you're paying for when you use their table and place setting. There is a difference between the eat-n-run kinds of restaurants that masquerade as fine dining.
@@timothyleggon a cruise they want you in and out under an hour.
It's annoying when you do that because you can't clear correctly
So to not get them in trouble i have no table space.Pick up your dishes and people won't stack them. Its called prebussing your table.
Really good advice. On our last cruise, we had a great room attendant who I spoke with a couple times. He mentioned he had a young daughter who missed him and who he tried to call anytime they were in port. I thought about getting her a gift from the ship and leaving it in our room. Then I thought it was probably presumptuous to think he would want that and in any case if he did, he could buy it for her himself. Kid doesn’t want a gift from a random other dad her dad had as a guest. I just left him a good tip.
Now that is a proper thank you. 👍
Plus, even if you did buy it, he may not be allowed to accept it. So, it would just go to waste.
That was very kind of you to think like that.
Glad you tipped him and left the gift giving to him. That would have been seen as too cringe and inappropriate.
As a crew member, thank you for this video. This is all 100% correct.
Frankly, most of these highlight to me how horrendously cruise lines treat their staff. The constant surveillance, lack of trust, overworking and threat of punishment. If that was any company on land anywhere in the EU, the law would come down on them like a ton of bricks. That is not how you treat staff and it should not be legal.
That was pretty much my takeaway, as well. Glad to see I'm not the only one.
This. How horrible and stressful to have to work under such conditions.
I have to admit that I thought similar things. What a horrible environment.
Reading this really brought home just how poor the working conditions are. You've also described the labor conditions for a big chunk of the US.
edited to add that this is why I'm so reluctant to speak up at all. It puts the staff in a difficult position
How sad that you believe maintaining standards equates to horrendous treatment of employees. Constant surveillance? Yes, there are supervisors monitoring your work. Threat of punishment? This is not accurate, the only "punishment" is either losing your job or not getting your contract renewed - the exact same as any other job (if you don't perform up to standard you will be gone). Many of the cruise line jobs that are tip based are highly sought after because they can earn far more there than they could in their home country.
This is where being introverted is a real advantage. You'll never catch me holding a prolonged conversation with a stranger if I can get away from it! But I have a hard time resisting cleaning up around the table after we eat. My kids are so messy, I feel so guilty leaving the crumbs and mess for anyone else to clean up.
I think cleaning up crumbs etc is not so bad but what the staff don't like is guests piling plates up etc. in a way which we feel is logical to us but then the staff just have to disassemble our half-baked efforts at tidying up and re-do it the way that is most efficient in terms of transport and loading into dishwashing areas etc.
I have been on a lot of cruises as a solo passenger, and I am a bit OCD when it comes to my stateroom. I get up in the morning, make my bed, have a shower, get dressed, put all my clothes away in draws or the closet and leave zero evidence I was even there at all. We'll, this has caused no end of grief and much anxiety for some stateroom attendants, but I simply can not leave my room in a mess! That's just the way I am. Some have even asked if I even slept in my room that night or jokingly enquired, "Who's room did you end up in last night?" 😂
@ozymandias7940 the room attendant has to make the bed anyways so make their job easier by messing it up 😂
I think doing that is different from picking up your dishes etc, and carrying them somewhere else, It looks like you've waited long enough for them to do it, so you'll take care of it. That's not the case, but it could simply look that way to a supervisor.
@@ozymandias7940Interesting. I’ve only been on a couple cruises but I had a similar approach to you. It’s really weird because I’m a bit of a messy slob at home or when working on a task, but when I’m on a cruise, in a hotel or somewhere not “mine” I tend to clean up after myself and leave no trace of my presence!
My supervisor at work has gotten used to this habit. I clean a lot of aircraft as ground crew and while I’m working the place looks like a bomb has gone off. I leave my cloths, sprays and other knickknacks all over the cockpit or galley or whatever I’m assigned to while I’m working. It’s all part of my mental map and everything has a place and reason. But when I’m done, it’s hospital level sterile!
Same with my hotel room or cabin. Messy during the evening but spotless the next morning. My supervisor is reasonably intelligent and often makes use of my traits to ensure the important areas of the airliner are spotless. He just ensures that I have sufficient time and resources then just leaves me to it.
Not gonna lie though, I’ve probably mildly confused some pilots when they reach the aircraft early, looked through the doorway to find the cockpit absolutely littered with cleaning supplies and cloths with me awkwardly crammed into some corner or another industriously scrubbing away. 😆 90% of the time they just back away and find something else to do until I’m done. Didn’t think anyone else was like me tho.
I'm polite but never do these things. I guess I have a different definition of being polite. I can't imagine ever asking a crewmember to hang out. That's crossing the line.
This video should be titled: “rich posh man learns he’s out of touch with the service industry”
@@pile_of_kyle That's unfair. He's friendly with the people who serve him. That's the _opposite_ of what you describe.
@@Milesco it’s blunt, but fair. someone who has worked in the service industry would know that many of these behaviors create problems for staff, regardless of intention. someone who is out-of-touch with the reality of working in the service industry wouldn’t know. people being paid to serve you are, more often than not, being friendly and engaging with you because they are paid to do provide you with that experience. the proper execution of their job (their entire reason for being there) requires them to perform services with a pleasing and warm personality while demonstrating unobtrusive professionalism. anyone who mistakes these interactions as emanating from neutral power dynamics is out-of-touch. this man has done well to care enough to challenge his behaviors, solicit honest feedback, and use his behavior as an example of what not to do for other out-of-touch posh travelers.
Disagree. If Gary was out of touch & posh he’d be treating people like my r crap & complaining & getting people in trouble
@@pile_of_kyle No, if he were rich and posh he’d know this isn’t how one interacts with staff.
Wow, a lot of the things that cause problems for cruise staff also cause problems on my job as a nurse. I dread a family that really likes me and wants to talk strictly because it takes time away from my patients. A lot of similar situations. Some of these situations must apply to a lot of working people.
Unfortunately these would be the same people who be upset because you didn’t rush to their family members aid. Too many people want to make it a social event.
Mostly its the patients family or spinal patients that take a lot of time leaving little for the others.
yes, I agree....they smile to your face, and write up a note afterwards about THAT nurse. Just to feel better. Don't worry....we all know you you are...
I also work in a Hosp, and the timing thing can most def be an issue, I never want to be rude, so, I listen with all my attention, then tell them that, I better get back, I have a job I need to do, then laugh. It's works every time.
I work at a public library and handling people who come in only to talk is a big part of the job. Especially elderly people, mentally disabled adults and douchebags who people that aren't trapped by having to be service minded wouldn't talk to. It can be really tricky not to hurt someone's feelings when you have to end what they perceive as a nice chat (or in the douchebags case a refreshing rant) because you have other tasks you have to do or other patrons to serve. Especially the developmentaly disabled can have a really hard time understanding that I can't just talk to them my whole shift. But I think every service job has to handle people that don't understand the notion of "me being nice to you while I work does not make us friends"
I love how you centered what the staff needs over what you thought was best, and presented it in such a clear and succinct way. Thank you for sharing this is so helpful.
When I was waitstaff, it was nice when people didn't absolutely lay waste to the table, but otherwise, if you've got dirty paper napkins and straw wrappers gathered on one plate for easy disposal, that's helpful from a germ perspective as well. Just about anything else guests do can complicate bussing the table, though. Enjoy your meal, and feel free to keep little bits of trash in one dish if you're so inclined.
I made sure my children cleaned up after themselves and didn't make a mess. I wish more parents would teach their children proper table manners. My son thanked me for "hounding" him about this as he can eat and walk away from the table without half the food on him and he's at a military college!
I tend to move everything to the part of the table most accessible to staff (away from the wall or the center), stack utensils on one plate, stack garbage on one dish.
Actually as a waiteress, I preferred if the customers didn't do anything. The only thing I ask is to not make a mess on the floor. Everything else, it's much easier if I can do it my way knowing how to stack how to hold in my hand and also how to stack it back in the kitchen. Ive stopped cleaning up the table of restaurants ever since experiencing it myself. Leave it. It's better for me.
Agree 100%. Having a waitress/ waiter and busier doesn’t give allow one to be a pig at their table. Would you do that at home and if so why?
I never understood the concept of buying a worker or entertainer a drink. As someone who doesn’t drink alcohol, I would never want this. You can’t assume people drink overall or that they don’t just abstain when working, as they should.
It's just a part of tipping culture, and it doesn't necessarily need to be an alcoholic drink. I'm sure most people would gladly pay for a non-alcoholic drink if they're offering anyway.
I was at a concert in Vegas. Small venue. A person bought the group a round of drinks. The lead singer thanked them and took two drinks explaining the guitarist was under 21. 🙄 You never know who doesn’t or can’t drink.
Could you just not take it as the compliment it is meant as?
I also would think not to purchase a drink because they're technically working anyway.
It's just a traditional way of offering a tip - they can just take the price of a drink as a tip.
I cannot agree with you more in regards to BOUNDARIES. I never lose sight of the fact that I am the guest and they are the employee. I show my appreciation quietly with CASH.
So true. I work in a service industry and I appreciate short conversations that get to the point. I'm not your friend. I don't have time for or care what your back story is. Just tell me what I can do for you. If you're pleased with my service, let my employer know. Most people only contact employers to complain. A compliment goes a long way.
@@Lovesapuzzlethis is how I feel, backed up by the fact of how many seriously embarrassing conversations I've witnessed between guests and crew...
...let's just say some of them have that Johnny colonial speaking to the the exotic foreigner vibe which must be tiresome.
The only longer conversations I've had have always been crew initiated one because my server was coming to the UK and was asking me questions and other because he started joking about cricket (Indians loved their cricket!).
Funnily , one the cricket one I think I was doing hi a favour I don't even watch cricket!
@@NarrativeEscapes I think the key is to recognize spoken and unspoken clues. When one end of the conversation wants it to be short, the other should respect that.
I hope you do discretely....if others see it they are expected to share it.
@@NarrativeEscapes And you thought it was about a game! Doncha no he was talking about the accidental vegan meal he gave you of ground up crickets and soy?
I always say Thank You to people who serve me - I was raised this way - serve the appetizer, thank you, serve dinner, thany you, etc. It’s force of habit for me.
Me too!
I do that too but now I’m going to make sure I don’t over do it. Maybe a smile part of the time would better. I’m sure we wear them out when they hear that at every table by every person.
Umm thank you is a normal way to ‘thank anyone’ bringing something over’. Not sure why you are drawing attention to that.
Maybe it's the difference between a pro-forma "thank you", like getting off a bus or getting one's meal, and one suggesting extra was done and making others want the same?
I'm Canadian, it's second nature lol
On our Alaskan Cruise, we were dining at the main Dining room and it was dessert and coffee time. Their regular coffee machine broke down that evening and they served us coffee from the specialty coffee shop. He noticed that we clearly appreciated the upgrade and we got it for the remainder of the trip. We thanked him discreetly as we do believe he did an exception for us and that it’s more trouble for him. We give him rave reviews for him at the survey for this attention.
Addressing problems in person, rather than online, also applies on dry land. There's been so much mockery of people who ask to speak to the manager--but businesses actually prefer it, because it gives them the chance to immediately make things right, rather than suffer a one-star online review. As someone whose family owns a retail store, please *talk* to us, if you feel something is unsatisfactory. Thank you!!
The most common response to poor customer service is to refuse to return. That hurts the business more than anything.
@@AxelQCand the reason many people do not complain is the most common response for businesses is to get their back up and go in to ‘defence mode’ and try and shift it back on the customer. Seem it to many times from both angles.
Exactly. Which is why the business would much rather you speak up and tell them what went wrong, so they can fix it and keep you as a customer. @@AxelQC
Sadly, I've seen that happen too, and it's just wrong. Or as my Dad told me when I started working, "The customers are the reason you get to go to college, so treat them with respect."
Granted, unfortunately, there are some customers who cross the line (which is why he had to drop a no-questions-asked return policy), but most people are honest and kind, if they're treated with consideration. @@xr6lad
Totally agree. From a hospitality background and hotel ownership, if we don't know there is a problem, how can we fix it?
These are not things that the average cruise passengers does, I think they are more in the "youtube passenger" vein. I have occasionally been on cruises where there is a non-paying passenger, one who is in the social media or travel industry or on because of a casino, and they tend to want to prove to crew that they are "just like them" and go overboard in trying to mix with crew instead of passengers.
As the offspring of a domestic servant this hits home. I consider myself equal to those that serve me. As a result I try to make servers and service people easier.
@1cthompson you are equal to everyone. We all do different work, but that is part of life. Your work does not make you less.
I will never understand being unkind or ungrateful to someone doing a service job for me (exceptions apply of course).
They're making and bringing me dinner that is better than I can make and I don't have to clean up. THIS IS AWESOME.
@@haleyf149oh dear, you ought to really do a course in psychology or human behaviour and then you would understand your fellow men a bit better, and yourself and it would help you to be less arrogant and judgemental of other people
@@autumn5852 how am I arrogant for wanting to be respectful to someone making me food?
I don't understand why someone would be rude to someone who is serving you food. That's arrogance?
@@haleyf149 I never said you were arrogant for wanting to be respectful to someone making you food. Although that sounds like conditional respect, because otherwise you would respect all people and not just single out chefs or other people who make food for you.
Edit. I saw the next paragraph. And yes, you are arrogant for thinking you’re the only person in the world who thinks correctly which means you simply cannot and will not understand how anybody could possibly think or behave any differently from you and if they do, in your eyes, they’re obviously wrong, which is the height of arrogance.
If you ever care to consider that other people might have their own thoughts and feelings, you could start with a basic course in psychology to help you to try to understand people, which would make you kinder, more understanding and less arrogant.
Your comment about the table service clearing struck a real cord with me. When staying in motels I always wanted to tidy up before we left, so the staff didnt think we were slobs! But my sister who was a room attendant, said please, just leave it! Folding towels & making beds acually makes our job harder, when we go in to strip down a room. Its better left in a heap, easier, and quicker for them to bag & sort. 😊
What about pre-stripping the sheets and pillow cases - is that helpful?
Last hotel I stayed at , all trash was in the trash can , all towels were heaped on the bathroom floor together . It was a two bed room but I was staying alone . I never touched the bed I wasn’t sleeping in and left the one I did unmade . This way the maid would know . And I left a tip on the bathroom counter . Hotel maids have to move like the wind . I don’t want to make her job harder , plus I’m not a jerk . I don’t understand people trashing hotel rooms
Similar story with restaurants. As a waitress I hated when customers tried to help me by stacking the plates and bowls made my life harder. Can't think of a single time it helped me.
@@catherinesanchez1185 We always leave an in-room tip of cash and a note, for who ever has cleaned up after us during our stay. And we hardly ever take anything home we have bought for our trip. So in the the Islands, (particularly Rarotonga/Fiji ect) we pack up a bag to leave for the room attenadants to take (if they are allowed)... Not so much fun after covid, but unopened food, and grog and body products they are welcome too.
@@catherinesanchez1185you sound like a jerk, and an arrogant one at that, believing you’re better than others because you strip your bed and leave towels on the floor.
Great subject Gary. Gave me a few things to ponder. As a frequent solo cruiser I often get quite friendly with the crew & contractors. I know there is that line you don't cross, but I have noticed if I talk too long they start to get uncomfortable or other staff get annoyed. Good reminder!
Do you get friendly with the room maid in hotels as well?
As another passenger waiting to be served as well😢
People, those people who work for "you" do not care about you, or your long boring story of how you got sick on the last cruise. They are NOT your friends, buds, pals and are working for a living while you lole around, fat, with your birkenstock shoes on with with knee length socks and your obese wife is off the side, spitting tobacco into the champagne glass, burping and re-adjusting her sized 70 bra and making a miserable mess of it.
I don’t think you realize how creepy you sound.
@@chrisg334 A famous rock band made a song about me. I still get residuals.
The point about assissting in clearing tables is true even at land-based restaurants. The servers have a method for how they stack plates to maintain balance, clear food off of them, etc. You think that you're being helpful but in reality making their job more difficult.
I tend to move everything to the part of the table most accessible to staff (away from the wall or the center), stack utensils on one plate, stack garbage on one dish. I hope that is helpful. If it is not, I would appreciate finding that out.
@@JaniceinOR in my experience, if I want to carry everything in one go, utensils on one plate is useful, but rubbish not necessarily. People who finish all their food is the best.
But this also depends on cuisine style and actually the ability of the waiter/waitress. People have different carrying styles/strength.
Moving away from wall is helpful, but anything beyond that it's best to allow the waiter to decide.
Edit: Actually on second thought utensils on one plate may not be good either because I have also experienced when customers stacked all forks and knives and it became so heavy it was hard to balance. So leaving it up to the waiter/waitress is still my recommendation
This is good advice for anyone who is working for you. As a Handyman, the polite people are a delight to work for. When customers get too chatty, it takes away from my time working. Or worse, when I am trying to work, they keep talking and get upset when I do not look at them.
Treat everyone how you want to be treated at your job. Polite and let me get my work finished. 🤗
My husband and I hired a handyman who would not shut up the entire time! It was so bad, the painter we also hired commented about him to us and said "how does he get his work done?"
I wonder now, does he tell people that the homeowners talk HIS leg off?😂
Agreed!. I'm an introvert & absolutely love my own company, crowds make me uncomfortable so i have no idea why I'm finally going on a cruise where I can't get away from 7,000 ppl i don't know😳. I also don't like the idea of awkward silence so I've found myself become a chat Cathy & can't shut it off, mind you i just wanna run (in my head). Ok I've talked myself into staying in my cabin for the entire 6 day cruise, which sounds like heaven ngl 😊
These are very helpful tips, and I will keep them in mind for my next cruise. I also have been one to clear my table if it is just a cup or small plate. But then I tell myself that staff might not notice the crumbs or water condensation rings that I've left behind. Leaving a cup or plate on the table ensures that the table will be entirely ready for the next guest that sits at the table.
yes I was so like that !!
Hide the crumbs under the plate. 😅
I like to be helpful too. But if you make it look like the table was never used, the host/ess might try to seat the next guests there without the table having been properly sanitized.
Lol, same. I’m sure both staff and the next customer prefer that the table is wiped between customers so I leave my dishes if it’s that kind of restaurant. Ifthere is a place for me to bring my used dishes then I comply as I assume the staff are vigilant about wiping any empty tables.
Great video. I especially appreciate that your examples were mistakes that you made yourself- it shows that even seasoned travelers can make mistakes and can learn to do better!
Thanks for nailing this down Gary. Intuition has had me generally going in the right direction on these things but this video has helped confirm it. I feel more confident now to limit myself to thanking individual crew personally, jotting down names for the post cruise questionnaire, not trying to turn cruise members into friends and discretion in the dining room. I think sometimes cruisers misinterpret crew friendliness as an invitation to ever escalating friendliness and then crew members are in the awkward position feeling hamstrung to turn it "off". Their job is to be friendly and we can help them by keeping a mutually respectful distance whilst being friendly and appreciative in turn.🙂 Sorry I've missed so many of your Live streams lately 😭 As you know I was at sea most of January and work/personal conflicts since then + plain forgetfulness🙄. Back soon!
Thanks for watching and great that you found it interesting / thought provoking. Agree that many miss that it is just their job to be friendly!
You have to be very full of yourself if you are misinterpreting crew’s customary affability for anything else. They are there to do their jobs and not thing else. A bit of discretion and empathy.
3:51
@@65NART or naive
I agree completely! I am a rare American introvert - I don’t really want to go beyond basic small talk. I definitely noticed slower service when our server was super chatty. I am ALWAYS respectful, tip above and beyond auto gratuities, and include names in the survey. I much prefer polite, efficient service to chatty, overly intimate service. Very un-American of me. 😂
I agree 100%.
Not un-American - that's a stereotype. There are plenty of us, myself included. And I'll relay a story from my former boss, an Ethiopian who was a tour guide in Addis Ababa before he came to this country : I asked him which foreign nationals were the best, and he said Americans and Italians (despite that little matter of Italy annexing Ethiopia). Why? Americans were so friendly and generous, and they treated everyone as equals. Be yourself, be a good representative of our country, and be proud of our country. I've traveled abroad quite a bit and that outlook has always served me well.
There are lots of introverted Americans. Relax.
Ya, shoe on other foot. Chatty servers and managers constantly begging for attention "Is every all right?" "Can I get you something else?" and refilling your water glass constantly.
I leave a very little tip or none when that happens.
It's really not rare. There are tons of us, just as in other countries.
I am, by nature, a chatty and friendly person, Thank you for letting me know it might be best to curb my enthusiasm beyond basic pleasantries.
I work as a crew member in the cruise industry, and I agree with you completely.
I can’t imagine how many crew members get sexually harassed or assaulted by guests and are terrified to lose their jobs if they say anything.
I would assume that cruise liners wouldn't tolerate sexually harassment or assault against staff by guests. If a guest is harassing/assaulting staff then they'd also be a danger to other guests. Not to mention the legal exposure of staff exposed to harm, suing.
@@snuscaboose1942 it is extremely hard to bring legal action or prosecution of laws against cruise companies even with massive evidence-- cruise companies deliberately use loopholes in maritime law to prevent being liable for almost anything.
As a former cruise line employee, you're not wrong.
I know someone who worked for a cruise line in a higher up position who was unceremoniously fired and dumped off at a port in Asia without notice because she went to bat for three female crew who were being sexually harassed and assaulted by male bridge crew.
She was threatened with litigation if she made it public and was pointed to review some tricky wording in her contract that prevented her from doing anything even after her employment was terminated, which leads to the realization that the cruise lines KNOW that this kind of assault is happening and are covering themselves at the expense of crew safety, to say the least.
Another person I know has a daughter that worked for a different cruise line and was almost raped by a drunk passenger. He beat her up and ripped her clothes but was thwarted by another passenger.
She was also immediately fired and dropped at the next port.
The guest? Nothing happened from the cruise line- but the other passenger made a stink and alerted authorities once the cruise was over and the former employee was contacted, but in the end she was only given some small monetary compensation from the cruise line who never admitted what it was for and called it something else, and the man who attacked her went scott free.
Clearly you can imagine it. My mind didn't even go there.
I was actually taken aback by your observation about buying drinks for cruise entertainers. We were so appreciative of a band that peformed on a recent cruise (who coincidentally appeared in your video!) that we bought drinks for the group twice during our cruise. While they sensibly deferred their drinks until they had completed their sets for the evening, and seemed appreciative, I had no idea that it could be problematic for them.
Barricade Boys?
@@doriangray6985 , No, not the Barricade Boys.
Agreed. I was a performer on multiple lines- it depends on the company. The truth is you cannot get DRUNK with a passenger and they cannot use their drink package on you (or get caught doing so) but buying them drinks or coffee that keep them under their allowed blood alchohol level and they are: a. Allowed in the venue, b. The venue is not overcrowded, and C. Not transporting a full glass from one venue to another they are not breaking any rules on most lines.
Some managers have petty jealousy issues of entertainment crew who have more privileges than them- and will use it as a personal vendetta against some people. But there is nothing against the rules and they are the ones in the wrong.
I was hoping to see Mollie B and Squeezebox in the video 😂
I offered an UNOPENED bottle of wine to a riverboat cruise service worker. (I don’t drink, and received it as a “prize.”)
I was told they would be FIRED if caught with any alcohol on board.
Very helpful advice! One of my most embarrassing cruise experiences happened in the main dining room when I tried to hand an empty salad bowl to the waiter and knocked over a full glass of red wine. I felt terrible, and even worse when we were moved to a fresh table and someone from management came over and insisted on replacing my wine, so your advice about leaving things alone at the table is well heard. I find the best thanks (apart from deserved gratuities) is noting the names of exceptional crew and complimenting them by name in the post-cruise survey.
I agree! In addition, mention them by name, but don't be too specific, especially if they did you a special favor. Just a simple compliment about them being attentive or helpful or what not, instead of what they specifically did.
It’s amazing how you are able to keep finding new and interesting topics. I guess that’s why you are the best at what you do😊
Good video. On Carnival Vista several years ago I reported the hanging chair on our Havana Cabana was not "hanging". The responder told me that parts were on order and it would not be repaired during this cruise. No problem, then he hit me with $150 in onboard credit for my trouble!
A crew member going on excursions with guests definitely crosses a line. I'm surprised she didn't realise that would get her in trouble.
My first cruise was on a now defunct line with 100 pax ships. Crews were allowed to take empty spots on excursions. As a mid 20's guy at the time, I thought it absolutely terrific that my Swedish 20 year old cabin attendant and her two friends were along for a sail and snorkel trip in the Grenadines (don't remember which island it was, Mayreau or Mustique).
Definate no no.
I agree. Surely saying "I'm sorry, that's not allowed" is easy enough for them to say!
I can't say about these days but in the old days entertainers were allowed to mix with passengers. I knew many that worked on cruiselines. I guess here it was mainly how often that made things difficult. Other staff it has always been a no no.
@@mmckenzie8085 Entertainers are usually permitted to use the guest areas of the ship, so naturally they will mix with the guests to some extent while doing so. Going on shore excursions with guests goes far beyond that.
Great episode. The only thing I would add is saying please and thank you for any services rendered. When ever a plate of food or drink is brought to me I thank them or if I ask for something else I use, please. It is a common courtesy, is so easy to do and is greatly appreciated by not only the crew but whomever you are speaking with.
I’m honestly surprised that’s not standard practice. I’ve said please and thank you for such things for as long as I remember. Funny thing is so do my friends. One got into a car crash and was charged with driving without due care and attention, accidentally missed her court date due to not having the new key for the mailbox replacement promptly and got arrested for it.
Being a normal, ordinary person when the police called her because they came to her place while she was out earlier she freely agreed to meet them to be arrested. Apparently it was the most surreal experience in her life because everyone at the police station kept staring at her. It wasn’t until they offered her a meal despite how late it was when she finally figured it out.
She was being civil, courteous and remembering her please and thank yous and the police were just *not* used to it. The custody staffer read a list of what was available so she said please while making her choice. His sudden change in expression finally tipped her off. It’s probably why she was given as much food, water and books to read that she wanted. It was pleasant for them not to be shouted and cussed at for once.
@@mikoto7693why did your friend have to remember to say please and thank you? Did they just suddenly forget their manners or is it just a memory problem in general that they have? If they forgot their manners, do you know what prompted that? Was it stress?
Pretty much all employees are unwilling captives when they interface with customers. You want be polite and agreeable, but sometimes customers take it as a budding relationship, however short-term, and want to increase the amount of time interacting. It’s especially ironic if both parties are ‘just trying to be polite’.However, the staff have no choice.😬
When you see people developing an intimate relationship with a chatbot just because it addresses them by name, it's not so surprising that others mistake a professional smile that is literally just the job description for a romantic interest.
I asked our room stewards to do something nice out of the ordinary for my husband's birthday, they went over the top, but I didn't dare say anything in my review except that they were great. As I was afraid I would cause a ton of more work. And we had been tipping them extra every day on top of our paid gratuities, so I especially would have hated people who didn't tip at all and had a cheaper inside cabin,like us, expecting special treatment. I didn't expect it, I just was glad that they could do anything extra!
Cruises are just different from any other vacation. The crew lives and works together 24/7 for 6 to 9 months. We stay as their guests for 7 to 21 (or more) days in a row on a journey which is almost never in the same place twice. We sleep, eat, drink, relax, exercise, etc. all together within the confines of their workplace for the entire journey; all the while they get to worry about our comfort and safety. Then, the crew gets to do it all over again with a new set of guests. It's understandable why they would like to just do their jobs without the (seemingly) nice gestures which usually just complicate things for them.
It would always strike me, on about the last day of a cruise, that within 24 hours a whole new set of thousands of people would come abord the cruise and while it would all be new and fresh for them, it would be like the 20th time in 20 weeks for the staff and crew. I have come to a point where I'll let the crew person I am interacting with drive the level of "friendliness" and I won't assume that escalating it on my part is desired or appropriate. I'll just take my cues from them. Plus, I do tend a little to the introvert side, and that helps with the healthy boundaries.
As for helping with the cleanup, that was a bit eye opening. I was raised to be polite and always be mindful and not dismissive about the people who serve you (in whatever way). My wife clued me into the "bundle the dirty linens" approach. And I am going to have to rethink my habit, at any restaurant, that me stacking up the dishes before leaving is a help. Maybe it's not.
Interesting about the Cabin steward asking repeatedly if everything was all right. On our last Cruise, we had 3 major issues with our cabin. The poor guy could only report these issue every day till 2 of them were finally resolved. We knew after a few days, he couldn't do more than report the issue. We not only gave him a good review but an extra bonus for at least trying.
I was in Vegas and I reported every day for 3 days there was something wrong with our room's A/C. Crickets.
On the 3rd day as I was packing to leave to go to another hotel in anger, a maintenance worker came in, took one look at the A/C unit's back and said "oh look here, the last guy forgot to plug in the connector for the A/C".
I have never been back to Planet Hollywood again and have told everyone going to Vegas to never stay there.
Besides, the room looked like it hadn't been updated and stuff fixed since 1970....formica tables? Green plaid drapes? Seriously?
@@mutteringmale Our ship cabin A/C wouldn't turn off, and being on an Antarctica Cruise we really didn't need A/C. Options were to move to another room, but wife is handicapped, and this was the last HC room. They offered extra blankets (laughing). They resolved the issue by stuffing a bunch of foam rubber in the Vent.
@@lynnmccurdythehdmmrc2561 YOu should mention the cruise line so no one reading this will ever use them again.
Every cruise I made all of my complaints upfront (i.e. steward doesn't need to fix the sheets on the bed every morning because I'll destroy it 5 minutes later anyway, AC can be a fridge without any issue to us without any issue, and yes, shoving a chunk of rubber under the mattress for extra leg elevation was excellent etc.) and we got along fabulously with the staff as far as we're aware. Being honest and upfront helps everyone.
@@mutteringmale sorry you had such a bad experience! Sounds like I’m not very great place to stay. On the other hand, I love green plaid.😊 green is my favorite color
I travel solo so interacting with the dining staff and my stateroom person is nice for me. I don’t think I’ve overdone it. I’m grateful for this video!
I also travel solo, and I find the dining staff and even the officers interact with me. I guess because I'm sailing and dining alone, they give me some added attention. I even got to know the manager of Cagney's (NCL) and about his family while I dine. I know he's busy, so I don't take too much of his time. But it's really nice they give me some attention. I agree: this was a GREAT video!
Have you tried the trick of not answering when they say "house keeping!" out side, of laying in bad nude with a $100 bill over your thang when they barge in?
No? Well, I guess that's just a Vegas thing.
When you are in your room you should turn the door lock so that the door is not accidentally opened.
What a great video! On Enchanted Princess last year, our lovely concierge went out of his way to have my friend and I invited to the 360, which was by invitation only at that time. We were absolutely thrilled but made sure to thank him privately as we knew this would not be possible for other guests seated around us. I have taken small personal gifts for a couple of crew we had met on previous cruises and stay in touch with, but given them in a more private manner. I am also guilty of trying to "help" with tidying up and will be more mindful of how it affects the crew going forward.
This is great to know! I like to go out of my way to show appreciation. I would NEVER want to have the opposite effect.
Thank you for this video. I’ve cruised for years and don’t remember this topic being addressed. I’m going to be more observant on land too. A tip is what they need. A negative comment is what they don’t need.
I had an odd experience on a cruise ship just before Covid. One of the senior security staff recognised me from a previous cruise. No idea how she did as we’d literally had one interaction about 18 months previously.
I’d left my Kindle in one of the lounges while I went to the bathroom and it went missing, turned out one of the bar staff had handed it to lost property. But she spent ages looking into it for me, probably just doing her job and she dropped it off in my cabin, but I really appreciated it.
I mentioned it in the post-cruise survey, and she thanked me as it came up in her review.
50/50 chance of either having a good memory... or your name popped up on her passenger manifest as a repeat customer to give special treatment to, so they can try to make you happy enough to keep being a repeat customer.
Why yes, I AM getting jaded and a bit cynical as I get older... why do you ask?
Many passengers mistakenly interact with crew like they are familiar close friends. They are not. Crew are meant to be friendly but arent your friend.
We experienced this on a RCL cruise in Chops. The server spent a great deal of time with us one morning. The next morning we were seated way in the back, as I called it, "the penalty box". Thank you for all of your interesting content. Cheers
That ridiculous - punishing you for this? I would have complained to the maitre d'
I waited tables at IHOP in college . The number of men who took my being nice to them as wanting a date blew my mind
Thanks for the video. I think you are way too apologetic towards the cruise lines, Gary. You and your partner spending time with an off-duty gym instructor should in no way reflect on her performance in a negative way, That is far out of bounds of a normal employee-employer relationship. Cruise lines should treat their employees like human beings, not slaves... Same holds for sharing your feedback with the cruise director. If they don't play a role in evaluating the on board experience, including entertainers etc., then what are they there for?
Repeatedly, my response is to these stories is, "What were you thinking?! Of course you're violating boundaries!"
I was thinking the same thing. Inviting an employee to go on excursions with you, no matter how well-intentioned, is probably going to make that employee extremely uncomfortable. There are always exceptions, of course, but at that part of the video I was just like... oof. My man. No. Bad idea, bad idea.
Totally agreed. Most of this seems obvious to me. Also the categories he says are way too broad when the issue is not that he is being polite, it's that he would be being inconsiderate by not thinking of how his actions affect the crew.
I agree on buying drinks and inviting crew members to hang out, but clearing the table and not raising issues when asked are less obvious.
It shows a lack of understanding of boundaries and put the staff in a bad position either way
@@quailypoes at the same time, the upper management harshly reprimanding her seems like an overcorrection to the problem rather than addressing it in a respectful manner. My guess is that petty office politics seeped into it as well and why she bounced the moment her contract was up.
As a former crew member and frequent solo traveller, TIME (and timing) is the most important thing to be aware of. It works both on ships and on land, with crew members and other professionals too. Constantly asking for things to be done in a special manner for you (a main dish for lunch, a dessert at dinner etc.) puts an incredible amount of pressure on many workers (from the ones serving you, who have to pass on the requests, to the ones in the back who have to break their well-oiled routine and make time and space to do it). So many people ask for special things thinking they are the only ones doing it or in the minority, and they are most definitely not. So just be mindful and don't make a habit out of it. :) Also, no: no one is sitting in the back, waiting in the "ready set go position", twiddling with their fingers, in case a special order or request arrives. Everyone is on a very strict, tight schedule and there is no idle time or less than busy staff. 😊 In general, extra time is the hardest thing a (well-intended) guest can ask from their crew. They also sometimes feel trapped in this kind of scenario (you’re on a ship, going to see that guest for maybe a week or more, you kinda have to be extra nice and attentive), but it does cause problems for them from their colleagues (hugely underrated issue by guests) and their superior. Some other things brought up: Being overly affectionate or off-shore activities together - again, huge, hard (and I thought obvious) no. Buying someone a drink basically forces them to drink it on the spot, and that is very inconvenient. Alcohol - no, for the exact reasons you mentioned. Speciality coffees to go could be somehow more appreciated (because nowhere, not in the crew bar, nor anywhere else like the crew mess can you find good free coffee, just decent at best). But again, it’s all about the timing (for example, it’s not going to help if they're about to start an auction or talk or seminar). Even so, you must be aware of their dietary restrictions and preferences - maybe they never take it with regular milk, because they are lactose intolerant or vegan. Too much of a hassle, IMO. Helping to clear away dishes by building a stack of dirty ones at your table's corner - big no-no. Apart from how it looks (bad for the entire room, on ships or at a restaurant), waiters have their own system for clearing tables, and stacking dishes on the side messes up with that. Bonus fact: The cruise director cannot remember all of the praisers to pass on, no it’s their job to do so, as you well mentioned, so they will be forgotten often as quickly as you said them. In conclusion, even if it comes from a good place, if travelling solo (like I often do on land) or just feeling chatty, go befriend the other guests, as they really are on a vacay as you are, and also don’t feel obligated to put on a smiley face and entertain you even at their own detriment. 😊 Excellent video all in all, Gary, brilliant idea for opening up this discussion, I sometimes forget these are lesser-known facts... :)
That sounds horrific! Rules for guests to help the staff 😮 a hard no for me, which I thought was obvious.
12:00 I have a food allergy, and have learnt that if I ask in advance for accommodation then Judy keep my mouth shut when it is accommodated I get better service. This is on a cruise, at a resort, even at a local restaurant. In my review afterwards I mention how happy I was with the accommodation that was done for my dietary issues. And leave it at that. Advertising to everyone that I got a special meal in the middle of the meal is just wrong as there is ALWAYS someone who gets upset and wants the same accommodation even though they don’t need it.
I’m astounded that these “tips” aren’t obvious!
Very interesting. I knew about don't try and "help" serving staff because it makes them look bad. I agree on giving very good reviews at the end of the cruise using the official system is the best help you can give to crew members, because that's what management sees as an aggregate KPI. And your particular cabin attendant can be identified using the database, for example. In fact in many systems, particularly good reviews or bad reviews will be flagged, and if someone is consistently getting great reviews they know this person "gets" customer service and their career prospects will be very good.
Who honestly cares about them looking bad? Treat them as human beings.q
TLDR: 1) don't be a liar. 2) don't make others jealous. 3) don't interrupt their jobs for a long period. 4) don't get intimate with the workers. 5) don't offer alcohol to employees. 6) don't do their job
Wow - very helpful! Like you, I mostly travel solo and have been doing a few of these things thinking I would be making the crew’s jobs easier! This is really excellent information for people who are just trying to do the right thing by helping us do it better! Thanks much!!!
I think as a rule for life. You should never buy anyone an alcoholic drink. You don’t really know where people are in life, and offering people alcohol is not polite. And it’s wasting you're money, especially if that person doesn’t drink. Just hand them cash if you want to tip them. Cash is king you can never go wrong with that. 💵
I've never understood that either. I would much rather have cash that have to drink something I don't even particularly want.
Surprised at you and Mark wanting to spend time with the fitness person outside of the ship. She should have politely refused and say why she can't join you.
Great video, good points and tips 😊. My son was a waiter at a country club and he used to to hate it when the guests would stack their dishes (with the best of intentions), he said said it made his job more difficult because there is a technique that they use to clear the table. I would never have thought it was an issue until he told me.😂
I’m guilty of stacking my dishes. And putting any paper things from sugar etc on my plate at the end. I’m going to stop that now that I realize that may be making their job harder. This is a great video. What we do on land may not be appropriate on a ship.
And depending on what is done, or not done, within your family, stacking dirty dishes on top of one another at the end of the meal, or between courses, may be considered offensive to other diners at the table.
It's not appropriate on land either, you just haven't yet seen a video to convince you otherwise. :) They have a very well-defined method of clearing tables and stacking dishes, messing with their system would only cause delays and make it more difficult for them to do their job. Also, it looks bad to have a stack of dirty plates at the end of the table for the rest of the room, so the waiter then needs to drop everything and rush to your table to clean it up first, because of how bad it looks. Hope this helps! :)
Putting the paper bits on a dish or similar is fine
@@LoredanaTI’ve seen videos say that about restaurants, but the comments are always filled with servers saying it is actually greatly appreciated unless you’re going to a high-end restaurant.
@@TheHcjfctc That's mainly because there's a difference between servers (proper waiting staff) that go through culinary school and learn the job (and this was the norm, no matter the class of the restaurant), and part-time or seasonal hires, that usually do everything by the ear (like how they do it at home). You can spot the first ones by noticing they don't need 5 rounds to clear your table. They serve you through your left etc. It's these small etiquette rules that used to be the norm everywhere. And those servers stayed in that profession until retirement, not just as a summer job or for some quick bucks. That's still the case in many places in Europe. But it's true that nowadays, you can barely see a flight attendant older than 30 - same thing with waiting staff. It's not seen as a profession anymore, but more like a pit stop. However (!) I can assure you that the ones working on cruise ships are properly and thoroughly trained, otherwise they couldn't handle the sheer work volume and fast pace.
It's all a matter of understanding "upstairs-downstairs" rules and expectations. Over 29 cruises the crew have always told me the best way to show them appreciation and help their promotion opportunities is through the final survey and mentioning their name. I also try to show my appreciation through a generous tip, over and above the one included in my bill. And I will include a note of thanks with the tip on some occasions.
I agree on number one: complain, but nicely, politely and constructive when necessary. That being said, for the most part, the excursions desk doesn't care.
Tell them first and don’t put it on the survey unless something was really wrong. The survey is way more important than most people realize. They think they are just critiquing the experience. You could get someone fired.
Ah...take that a step further....you think anyone in the world cares if you live or die? If you realize that, welcome to growing up.
@@mutteringmale Well... I don't know who you are of course BUT I would be saddened if I read you just kicked the bucket! I don't think your comment was very nice but you are entitled to your snarky opinion.
@@Puzzler-qv2hn Without snarky, sarcastic free thinking free speakers you would still be slaving in the salt and silver mines.
Treasure us, bathe us in lavender, pet us, parise us for we are your last bastion before the dark night takes us all.
Thank you for a very informative video, Gary. My wife and I are always determined to be good cruise guests, and we want to be perceived as polite, and not causing trouble. I don't think we have ever inadvertently done something the crew members dislike, but it's helpful to know beforehand. I appreciate these new tips. Thanks again.
*This is a truly helpful and vital video and I thank you so much for it!!* Especially the last tip because we often think we're helping the crew when in actuality, we are "stepping on their toes." Thanks!!
This is without doubt the most valuable and helpful video I've yet seen on cruising. ✨
Good manners, thoughtfulness and consideration for waiting staff and servers should be everyone's starting point, either on land or sea.
But the insights of ships' crews that you offer are very helpful, thank you. I suspect there are many people who clumsily attempt to express their appreciation and but sadly cause only misery. ❤
I bring a small note pad so I can leave my room steward a short 1 sentence note about a need or concern, if one comes up. I don't take their time away from duties by talking with them. I have found my concerns are better addressed using this method.
As a former performer on multiple lines: you can absolutely buy them drinks/coffees/water bottles if they are not actively working or above their allowed blood alchohol levels. They cannot get actively drunk with a passenger or walk from one venue to another with a full glass.
Truth be told many performers will refuse a drink (and use policy as a reason) because they dont want to be "stuck" having a long drawn out interaction with a well meaning guest. Social batteries run low when youre answering the same question over and over again with guests, and sometimes they dont want to be "on."
However- if you want to offer to buy someone a drink (and yes guest areas have better liquors and cocktail selections than most crew bars) a coffee like Starbucks or a water bottle ( neither of which they get for free) and make it clear you dont expect an interaction/their attention and instead are just doing it out of a getsure of appreciation ("hey i would kovw to get you a round, no need to sit and chat with us- we know how long of a night this must be! But we figured you'd enjoy a little something on us- have a great night!" its generally not only allowed but very much appreciated.
Exactly. True politeness is showing appreciation without creating an obligation or constraint in return. Just make it clear you're offering out of kindness and with no expectations, and refusal is a perfectly fine answer. Because the people you appreciate also have a right to their private time alone especially when that private time is a 15 minutes rest between the 7th and 8th performance of the day out of 12.
2 of the most worst things I have seen with customers and crew on a ship was once in the Haven restaurant, the Maitre'd walked around to all the tables and gave all the guests Hero cards to fill out with her name on it. It rubbed all the crew the wrong way and you felt obligated to fill it out or she would get upset. Then once a customer filled out a NCL Hero card for the Haven bartender and came down and loudly read it to him in front of 20 guests. So tacky. I wanted to ask her. Did you tip him? That is how you appreciate him. Not some public announcement in front of everyone. Because the guest was making herself feel special in front of everyone instead. She was trying to impress us, not him.
That’s terrible!!
Sounds like she was trying to game the system for her own benefit
Great video. I've worked 17 years in hotel hospitality, and all of these apply to hotels as well, especially the first point. I would add that when a guest has a problem, 99% of the time the staff can solve it. But only if they know. I hate those times when a guest has an issue I could have fixed if they had spoken up.
I went on a cruise once where my cousin was working there, when I saw them for the first time I gave them a hug fortunately no one seemed to mind. I tend to give chocolate bars with my tips I started when I did a halloween cruise and they loved it so much I kept doing it. I also normally give a bonus at the end of the cruise along with some toiletries like toothbrushes or toothpaste. As my cousin works on a ship I know how hard it is to get them especially as thier off days may not coincide with a port day.
So many of these things are obvious when you realise that these people are doing a job, not entertaining you in their own home.
Thank you sir for educating us on how we can express our gratitude in effective ways.
One of my pet peeves is people who talk but have nothing to say. I watch Gary’s videos because he is informative and I always learn from him. Good job!
This is all interesting. I guess like you say, their job is to be friendly, brief exchanges of pleasantries is all good, but mostly just let them do their jobs. We don't have special diets but that warning to NOT gush about how great the special meal/dessert tastes is a good warning, just b/c although it is well-intended, it draws attention and puts the staff on the spot and they can't just 'whip up' that same special request for others without given advance notice.
This is wild to me, because I thought these tips were just common knowledge/sense? But maybe that comes from my years in the service industry and having to deal w people who do these things and unintentionally made my job harder.
overall excellent message. Though I would say you should have better differentiation between "polite" and otherwise over-sharing/taking time/etc. You often conflate the two. There is no situation where you shouldn't be polite. Politeness is something that you should always do for all people in all situations.
The biggest thing in these situations is just to think about the impact of what your interaction is having on the other person. These employees are busy, don't take up their time unnecessarily, and remember that they are at work, all interactions should remember this. For example, most people aren't allowed to drink alcohol at work, or have romantic relationships with customers. Cruise lines are no different.
overall great tips though!
Agreed-i think some people don’t understand that social interaction is not a universally positive thing. Politeness and maximizing social contact are very different. I think you put a good point on it that it’s about consideration for others, thinking critically about what will actually help them with the understanding that they’re on duty at their job when you see them
I would add that someone boasting about being a polite person is already a red flag. Then making public announcements to cheer an employee on their work place during their work shift is a black flag. That is not appreciation. That is embarrassment to the highest level.
Politeness goes with discretion. And respect mandates giving an opportunity to accept or refuse the offer with no consequences of any kind.
Once again Gary your honest and open sharing of stories all based on your personal experiences this is just one of many reasons that I think your reviews are among the very best out there. Thanks for ensuring your content is relevant and interesting to a wide audience. Keep up the great work.
I cruised with Holland America to Alaska and can’t think of anything I would have had to complain about during or after the cruise. I am always polite and friendly, and the crew were too. It is obvious that being over friendly or monopolising crew members would be unwelcome so am surprised that this would have to be pointed out to anyone. As for expecting staff to spend their spare time with you, that’s definitely crossing a line.
I had a different experience on Holland America. There were many issues that occurred, and each time we brought them up (with guest services, wait staff, room attendant, etc) they never seemed to care. It was either like "why should I care that there is hair in your food? What do you expect me to do?" or like we were interrupting their social time when we asked for assistance.
You have really opened my eyes. We Canadians also tend not to make waves. I will certainly put your input into my next cruise. Thank you so much
Your experience is so very different from the activities on the old Love Boat series where the crew actively pursued the female passengers.
What a great etiquette video, thanks Gary. What this reminds us is that unless it's a specific job they are doing, the crew are there to serve everyone and not just you.
The crew are not there to be a friend to lonely travelers........
I have followed you and your excellent and thoughtful commentary about cruising for some time. Your thoughts and insight about what is helpful to the crew and staff are one of the most eye-opening segments you have done. Your honesty and candor are much appreciated. I have made the same errors myself, that is, thinking my praise and actions are helping crew staff when they actually may be hurting them. Cruise lines do a great job of weeding out poor service-minded individuals, we want to be sure that those who are doing exceptional work are thanked in a way that actually promotes their career. Thank you!
Such a great video. I never would have thought that piling up plates could be unwelcome. It makes me wonder if waiters and waitresses everywhere wish we would be so “helpful.” Thanks for always providing such interesting content. Like the waitress, I’d love to hear/read about what equipment you use to get such great shots. It often looks like you must have a drone. 😊
Oh Gary, how I wish EVERY cruise patron would see this and heed the advice. I really appreciate that you gave the point of view of the staff personnel, otherwise we might never hear about it.
Thank you, Gary.
Hadn't thought about the majority of your points before.
Viewed myself as helping when I wasn't.
Lots of food for thought for when I'm in similar situations on land as well.
Thank you for the valuable insight into how we can really help.
Thanks for watching and great that it gave you something to think about!
Very helpful. The specific examples made it easier for me to think about things I have done and will stop doing. Thank you!
Many of these have been known for decades. And I can never fathom (and it’s mostly those from the USA) that seem to have a need to not only collect ‘new life long friends’ like a charm bracelet everywhere they go, want to become the best buddies of the staff. These people see thousands of people a year - your not their ‘buddy’
Having worked in hospo I definitely say that clearing your table and taking your dishes to the bar is quite inconvenient for the staff ❤
Very, very, good info here Gary. Although the thought of being a great guest originates from a good place, there may indeed be unanticipated consequences so thank you for these examples. If I may... My wife (who is from Thailand) and I were on a European destinations cruise and my wife got pretty sick. It was the ship's hair salon lady (also from Thailand) who brewed up this hot tea mix that my wife said is a very common home remedy used by "Doctor Moms" in their native country. My wife got better almost immediately and I thought the thing to do was to tell the ship's high officials about this wonderful and extra-personal care. The Thai beautician, however, explained she was acting way outside her normal area and did not want to have to explain to administrators how she had to scavenge through the galley for the various ingredients (one of which I remember was the pickled ginger from the sushi restaurant! 🤣)
My very first cruise, our first dinner out in the buffet, we met up with 6 other folks. Out of habit, I started picking up their dirty plates. I never saw a crew member run so fast to stop me... LOL... Same cruise, my cabin steward told me it was not necessary to fold my dirty towels and neatly stack them in the sink with a post-it note saying "these are dirty" on the top... Also, they really don't appreciate you picking up the empty cans and bottles, and cleaning the ashtrays in the smoking area 🙂 Live and learn...
Would you like to visit my house? I hate cleaning and doing dishes...
Great topic to cover!
Buying crew drinks in some circumstances could be tantamount to getting them fired. While there is a crew bar, the tolerance is very low and if a crew member exceeds it, they are dismissed...and lose their mariners' right to free repatriation back to their home countries.
I HAVE helped crew on limited occasions, such as helping the Havana deck crew gather up chair-cushions before a sudden rainstorm would have soaked them. Any boss watching would have seen us ALL pitching in, so I think it was okay. Certainly the CREW appreciated it.
Yeah exactly my thought. Instead of suggesting being "less friendly" to staff as a solution, that customer ought to bring these issues up with the company directly. "I don't appreciate how poorly you treated your staff, and I will in future choose to spend my money on companies that offer their employees decent work conditions." (Also, while I'm already at it, if you spend your free time like this you clearly own more money than what you need for a happy life, and you'd better spend the surplus on making a happy life possible for others as well. THAT would be the polite thing to do.)
The story about the custom baked alaska that other guests suddenly wanted as well, reminded me of "waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup. Shhh, be quiet or everyone else will want one too".
It's also an ignorance issue, and many people have NO idea how much work goes into preparing those special meals ahead of time, or how the restaurant/grocery store they're at really works.
I worked retail in a grocery store, and it was CONSTANT that people expected us to have a warehouse full of everything in the back room, which we never had. Because ALL grocery stores are on what's called a "Just In Time" ordering system, where stuff is delivered every day and it's calculated to try to get the EXACT amount needed every day... which often fails because the world isn't that predictable.
This video reconfirms my holiday choices are the best; booking an oceanfront home overlooking the ocean for a fortnight. No worries about “stepping on someone’s toes “ by being too polite. Plus not having to navigate my interactions with 3,000 cruise passengers or crew members by unknowingly being “polite”.
Thanks Gary, for an informative video. 👍 👏 😁
And there's a lot of other concerns too.
So... I really don't want to go on a cruise. At all.
For some reason, I always thought Baked Alaska was salmon, not... a cake 😂 I'd gladly eat either one, but thanks for the lesson
It's ice cream in a meringue shell that's baked outside, but cold inside.
I have no idea why I watch these videos. The chances of me ever going on a cruise is about par to ever being invited to the White House. LOL! That is, for dinner. LOL! But I find it fascinating and love the videos Gary makes. They are always enjoyable.
Great little article Gary, Nice to see a content provider admitting that they don't have all the answers AND takes a very original angle. I enjoyed this one.
WOW!!! I had no idea, thank you for this great advice. I still owe RCL an email providing feedback on my cruise, mostly positive, only negatives was certain food items. I'm guilty of the dishes too. I finally had a crew member tell me, no leave it, that's our job. So I did.