Our Journey Of Intimacy | Do I Let My Single Friends Around My Husband?
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- Опубликовано: 2 июн 2024
- This is a conversation thats pretty where we actually changed our minds a few times. How would you describe your intimate life. Let us know what you think!
When my best friend from grammar school got married, her husband told her she wasn't allowed to be my friend anymore. It was such a disappointment that she went along with that. I have never looked twice at her husband and it hurt that she could sever a 22 year friendship just like that. She knew me, really knew me. I'm glad you spoke about this today. I realize it was his insecurity or trust issues. It still hurts to lose her friendship 😢.
Wow that's so unfortunate I'm so sorry you experienced that smh
I'm sorry you went through that with your best friend. My friend just stop being friends with me bc of a friend she didn't agree with. Well, I'm learning to say it was all God's will bc he is incontrol of everything. I really enjoy you guys transparency. I love the way your husband care so much about your feelings bc that's how a man suppose to care. Bless your marriage and unity as one.
So sad :( Sorry you went through this.
I’m glad you talk about your single friends because the church really ostracizes being single. Just because I’m single doesn’t mean I want your man. I love the communication between you two.
This!!!! That's exactly how I feel about it!
@@TheColeLife thank you. I choose to be single because after divorce my boys are my priority. I don’t choose to be single to run the streets. Like come on people. Single does not equate to lack of control. We can all think of a married couple that lacks control and one party is living the single ready to mingle life while hiding the wedding ring.
u going to the wrong church, my church loves singles, embraces, helps and supports, we have single discipleship, seminars, events. A lot are thriving and doing well. I’m married been for 16 yrs but not all churches are the same please don’t loop us altogether, we love people single, married, divorced, single mother, single father, children etc…
Grate conversation between them two , and they are real close and cool to one another
As a Christian woman who’s currently single, I am intentional about how I am around my friends’ husbands, (the way I dress, certain convos, etc.). It’s not that there’s no trust or some ill intent on anyone’s part. But boundaries are important and we should flee the very appearance of evil/wrong. So I won’t find myself in certain situations or spaces, just to avoid what it may look like. I honor and respect their marriage and our friendship.
Now, that doesn’t mean I take off running every time he enters the room 😂 or that I can’t spend the night at their house, if needed. It just means I’m conscious of the carnality of humans and will always aim for integrity.
This is such a great point! Consciousness about your surroundings and the reality of putting yourself in a bad situation but also not being afraid of interaction. There’s definitely a balance to it.
This is exactly how I think. You said it well. I lived with my friend and her husband for a time. I had boundaries for myself and respected their marriage. The devil can use anything and we can never get too comfortable. I never looked at her husband in any way other than a brother and it was the same for him but the Devil loves to disrupt anything that God put together.
So good
This is good!
As a single virgin, thank you for having this conversation. It had the right amount of transparency without being too intimate.
You’re welcome!! 😊
😂😂😂 when Brian said “they can roll their eyes I saw your eyes roll back” 😂😂😂 I literally LOL when Lezy jumped in 😂😂😂
Girl he play too much!!!
@@TheColeLife 😂😂😂
I love you 2 so much!! My husband and I just celebrated 35 years of marriage, and communication is the key!! In all areas. Yeah!! Yall got this ❤
I absolutely love talking about this with trusted close friends and my husband. We love to have check in’s with one another to make sure we’re on the same page. I have a couple of really good friends and only 1 is currently single. She’s stayed at my house multiple times. I do trust my relationship with my husband and I know that he’ll honor me around my friends. I do the same for him.
I totally agree!
WOW!!!! I AM SOOOOOOO GLAAAADDDDD YOU BOTH ARE TALKING ABOUT THIS!!! IT'S A BLESSING. MAINLY BECAUSE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW AND BECAUSE IT IS YOU TWO BEING WONDERFULLY TRANSPARENT!!1 PLEASE DO A PART 2 ANNNNNDDDDDD PART 3! GOD BLESS YOU!!!
I’m so glad to hear this. My husband asked so many questions in the beginning and now, 10 years later, he don’t miss (and I don’t either)! 🥰 he’s my one and only. We learned that having a lot of sex is not the same as having good sex. We have sex less now than we did at the beginning but the sex today is waaaaaaay better. Quality > quantity. Great topic!
You better PREACH! Quality > Quantity!!
@@TheColeLife 😀
I love the relationship you all have with Janae & I actually think it’s very mature.
I had an issue a while back my best friends spouse not liking me simply bc I was his wife’s single & attractive friend. Mind you, I have never been a promiscuous person, one to mess around with my friend’s man or a friend who would ever tell my friend to cheat on her man or anything crazy like that. His insecurities caused him to dislike me for no solid reason & his wife agreed.
So, I personally do not see anything wrong with how you all move with Janae & clearly you all have discernment regarding her character. I’m quite sure you all wouldn’t allow just anyone with that kind of access to you both. However, there are def certain people that CAN be trusted to have that kind of friendship & bond like you all have with Janae.
Every relationship is different and I feel like if both parties are okay with it then it’s really no one else’s business.
I am not married never was, but i really appreciated the two of you sharing this, and i enjoyed this very much ,thanks ❤❤❤❤
Thanks so much for this!! Could you all please make a video or follow up on recovering from “messing up” before marriage, especially when you and the person want to stay together and honor God?
That’s a really good topic. Definitely something to think about for a future topic or to at least incorporate into a conversation.
Loved this conversation. Having been with my husband since I was 17, now 36 years of marriage under our belt, two grown children in their thirties, an 8 year old grandson and a 2-year-old granddaughter... I found this conversation very refreshing I could relate to it on so many levels.
This was a good conversation. I think that every marriage and person is different so we won't all share the same perspectives. I also wanted to add that it's not always insecurities when others use discernment or may feel like they need to set some boundaries around the opp sex friends. Before I was married, I could talk openly and free around friends, especially opp sex. But when I got married, I knew that this had to end. Bc even tho yes you may trust your friends, sometimes they may feel too free to ask or do things. It could cause a lot of confusion. We can't control everything. But, at the same time, you have to give a little benefit of the doubt that everyone is human regardless of who they are or how well or long you've known them. Ppl are humans and I think boundaries are a must at times. I don't think you have to be too strict but you do want to be gatekeepers of your home and just pray and use discernment. I think the only person we should ultimately trust is God. Yes you trust yourself, your family, your friends but they aren't God. We are not perfect. We shouldn't go around thinking the worst of people or what might happen but we shouldn't also be too free or confident that something couldn't go down. I think there's a limit to everything.
I just commented something similar before I saw yours lol
Being *alone* with someone of the opposite gender as a married person is not a good idea. If your spouse is their I don't see an issue. We have been married 20 years and it's a general idea we try to follow. Great video.
You two are so open. It's surprising that people openly discuss this subject. I love this!
God I love these two! Thank you so much for these conversations. difficult to watch you while single but encouraging at the Same time.
I love the way you two communicate. Very healthy.
I love this podcast ! Showed up randomly on my feed about a month ago and now I’m thinking thank God it did. I learn a lot you from you guys as a single young man 😊. Thanks for doing this, and I’m gonna keep tuning in !!!
Thank you so much 🥰 we really appreciate that 🙏🏾
This was both hilarious and hard hitting with a lot of truth bombs. I loved it here!!
I totally relate when Brian was talking about how growing up Christian and being a virgin, he thought it also meant not talking about sex. I wish we had healthy conversations about sex from our parents and just other adults we trust, because by the time you get to your teens, all your friends are talking about it but in a very skewed way because of what they've seen in movies or largely influenced by pornography.
Thank y'all for turning that rubiks cube whilst conversating. To be able to see it from another's perspective is wisdom personified! It is showing grace to others and giving yourselves another thing to consider when making your own decisions.
Good has blessed you both with an uncanny ability to teach others while learning and growing yourselves. Please don't let anything in life dissuade or compromise your relationship with God and one another.
I love your gift of transparency and boldness with Godly boundaries ❤
Omg this is so beautiful ❤❤❤❤❤ both only been with each other 🎉🙏🏽 … believe me you have the best of everything…. Every one having casual sex is looking for what you’ve found… its so bad to sleep around and thope that it works out or that the person calls 😢😢😢😢 its the worst…
😢
I absolutely love your podcast! Great discussion ❤.
This was so refreshing and honest. Thank you for having the conversation. You definitely schooled a few folks. Communication is such an important part of a relationship and if you don’t communicate well with your partner in your day to day you won’t in your sex life.
Your hair looks AMAZING!!!!
Thoroughly enjoyed every minute! I love that you guys are offering fresh and open conversations! ❤❤❤
Your conversations are on point. Being a seasoned senior, you hit all the points I believe in, also being Christian, you hit those points as well. I love your podcasts, keep it up you beautiful couple.
I love the conversations you are having…. Much needed for a lot of people ❤
It’s hard being single out here. Thank you for having these conversations!
Love the podcasts! Keep it going 🎉😊
I love this podcast it was really real and interesting, about one of the most important part of marriage and human relationships.
You two are a absolutely beautiful couple, you are a very gorgeous woman and your husband is very handsome.
Thanks so much for having this conversation!!!❤
11:56 I want this open communication too Jesus. Oh Lord it is so important. Thank you for setting this honorable example. You are so blessed in Jesus!!!
Great convo! Don’t let the holy rollers stop you from continuing this honest, intimate dialogue. It’s much needed ❤️
Yes! Thank you!
Wonderful conversation. Especially enjoy how you listen to each have different view points. Pretty powerful, thank you ❤
OMG, I love this couple, the love they have for each other , they're a beautiful family, adorable kids. What I love most of all is that they always put God first, that goes over and beyond, what this beautiful family has accomplished in their life. To where they are today. Love you guys keep God first and keep living your fabulous, and beautiful life 🧬🧬💓💓😘😘❤️❤️♥️♥️
Needed and appreciated!🥳🥳🥳
Love you guys.Where are my grandkids to learn from you.Thanks for sharing this delicate subject.
Beautiful lovely couple. I love watching your video
I so much love and respect you guys.❤❤❤❤❤❤
The way I smiled this whole episode and said “ OOP “ a few times😎… yeah I’m tuned all the way into this podcast👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Powerful communication - more couples need to talk on a deeper level!!!
About the people not wanting single friends around their husband. I am talking about best friends here. I guess they have a cousin Faith trauma😂😂😂😂 ( Soul Food). If you know what I mean.
Unfortunately sometimes their fear is valid.
Love your channel ❤
I love you both. I love that you are of different races. I love that your relationship is so deep. You all make a great couple, and have beautiful children. God Bless.
🙏✝️💙🩷🩷💙
So good!!!
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ great conversation
This conversation is powerful. It’s great to see young couples interacting about sex so beautiful.
Amazing job here.
Husband: Let's talk about sex by Salt N Pepa
Wife: S.E.X by Lyfe Jennings
Very nice and informative.
This was a very good podcast. You have to think about the generation when it comes to talking about sex openly.
Song is by Lyfe Jennings S.E.X
Once a week 🤯 that is sad! I have NO clue how or why Y'all are on my line, but this was a cute, good, funny convetsation. An important one. Im 15 years in amd KNOWLEDGE IS KEY!
Thankyou guys for this insightful conversation. As a single young womam waiting for marriage, you´ve shown me what good communication looks like. And the beauty that comes with being transparent with your partner on issues like sex and intimacy. May God bless your work😊
I really appreciate this conversation between you two. I am always trying to be open with friends, and unfortunately, this is a tabou subject for them. Especially with men who think they know everything and they know women better than women.
Really great conversation I'm learning a lot. The best part for me is having that open conversation on intimacy with my mate. I'm a Christian on the verge of getting married. I have a friend not my fiance but a long time guy friend who he was formally married then divorced. We tastefully chat it up and he's always mentioning giving my soon to be husband quickies. I was wondering if light could be shed as to what impact this creates for men. I ask because I ve viewed quickies as a man using a woman for sex or getting off on it seeing the lack of intimacy. In short wouldn't it be a shorter version of wham bam thank you ma'am . Hopefully this is a tastefully asked question
Great channel.
Just started but funny enough my husband is the same, he is satisfied if I am. And he even say he enjoys it more 🥰 which I still don't completely understand, lol,but hey😊 He also likes to ask how IT was or what could have been better, and I at the other hand felt so awkward talking about it since it is so taboo in our culture but got more comfortable answering or redirect if needed. Off topic, my husband actually looks like Brian funnily enough, or Brian looks like him since mines is older😅
So good
I'm glad that you spoke on that waiting for the right person and because my children haven't they didn't and it is all messed up when you don't wait for the right person we would talk that I was raised that way but sometime you know you think you got the right person you don't I wish that we had a just really waited on the Lord about meeting the right person how do you know you have the right person you know cuz my family we made a lot of mistakes and we had the wrong person and I was wish we had a waited for the right person to come and that's what I try to tell my children which is grown now and they both is unmarried they what they was married but they were just not the right person
That's sad, this means that they aren't true friends. True friends respect all boundaries especially when it comes to marriage.
Right !
Just the first couple of minutes and am challenged. Am the couple you're referring too.
dang!!.
The connection comes during the day b4 you go to bed. Then when you connect in bed that connection explodes, it gets even better.
8:42 Im on the same page as cole, somone needs to explain that because it makes no sense why you wouldnt want your partner to feel good. My worst nightmare would be being intimate and having the other person not be satisfied
I’m like 6 mins in and had to go back and start all over again
Sex should be the number one topic period.......... keep up the good work family ❤️❤️🤗🤗
I love it u know ur wife
DO NOT talk to your friend about your sex life, they can become envious or curious without even thinking it's affecting them. Do not allow your friend to be alone with your man, never without you. Temptation is always at your door. Spending the night when I'm home would not have been a problem for me, but leaving my husband and a friend alone is a no, no. None of us are perfect and Satan is always seeking whom he can devour.
Ikr!! 😅
Preach
It doesn’t automatically lead them to be soo curious that they overly desire the forbidden fruit with any worldly topics. However, it depends on who’s talking to them and how.
I know one verse that has helped me in intimacy is, “Watch ye and pray, lest ye enter into temptation. The spirit truly is ready, but the flesh is weak.” (Mark 14:38) I understand it’s wise to have a prayer life to guard your heart and mind against temptation. Not just a physical space you share like your home, but your mental space. Only Jesus can cover a person when they trust His ways.
I like the trust you have in each other and your friends, but I've also learned it's good to never think you are beyond being tempted by something. I've learned that Satan is very patient and waits for an opportune time to tempt. Something that would normally NEVER be a temptation to you can become a temptation under the right set of circumstances. Notice how when Satan tempted Jesus, he waited until Jesus had fasted for 40 days and THEN he came - knowing Jesus would be at his weakest physically? He didn't show up at the beginning or the middle of the fast when Jesus would have been stronger. Satan waits until he knows we are weak. We can never put too much trust in ourselves. But again, especially as a single woman myself, I do admire you trusting your single friends and your spouse
💕💕
Some people just don’t feel comfortable having the conversation.
That’s very true. We advocate for creating a safe space in your relationship to help that conversation become more comfortable. Maybe even uncovering why it’s uncomfortable in the first place and doing whatever it takes to help remedy that. But we do believe having these conversations is critical to a healthy sex life in marriage.
Thats lyfe jennings that you’re singing
Songs of Solomon Y'all. It makes it open dialogue. At least to me.
Liiiiiiiisten! 😂😂😂😂 That's for real GROWN FOLK!
@@saphahmelkisedek9762 Okaaaaay.😜Just giving a l'il historical TEA to Brian and Lexi to conversate with ease.
I have never heard her song
💜💜💜💜💜💯
I think it should be talked about. Growing up, the church would talk about sex being bad. When you get married, some feel they are doing something wrong. So couples wouldn't talk about it.
Umm heyy, new here but you guys may want to edit the bookmark title around the 27 minute mark?
Wow!! 🤦🏻♂️ thank you for making us aware of that! It was definitely something that was automated.
We both had sex prior to marriage. I’m a little bit more experienced than him, and he is very shy. We’ve been married six years together for eight. I tried to initiate these conversations, but he shies away from it.
Single friends😂…what about not trusting your married friends
*Your friends can stay, BUT can Brian has Female friends??? And can THEY stay???* Because my friends can stay too, but him making his own female friends to stay.....🤨
First and foremost you both have to please each other don't be afraid to be wild with your soul mate enjoy each other to the fullest lf not you will regret it in the long run trust and enjoy each other stop acting like you lt's your first time with each other you need to please your husband as well he has to please you hell take a sexy shower together dress up in a sexy outfit like a trench coat and high heels shoes 👠 and when you open your coat be naked sister you better please your husband and he needs to do the same stop listening to your friends l don't care how many kids you have spice up your love life of you will lose him or her get with the program you are not a little girl get your girlfriends out of your life please stop telling your girlfriends before one of them test your water and that means your husband
Whoa, this was way too intimate. I don't know how people can expose themselves for the sake of making a living like this. I know church's hold seminars and retreats exclusively for married people which in my humble opinion is a better setting to talk about and share with fellow Christian's without compromising yourself or your spouse.
Did you guys wait to have sex until you were married?
In my humble opinion I don't think they should So much of their sex life and intimacy in the public cause If couples are doing that would you have left the mystery What are you going to do next?What can I expect for her to do next When it comes to sex, I think intimacy is the element of surprise. when it's happening aname. N, that is more arousal. So when couples are putting too much of their private life bars, intimacy and sex. I think that's crossing the line to where then. There's no element of surprise and not surprised but element of what do we have for ourselves...what is it that is intimate Between us It's a very thin line again if you put too much out there.When the cameras are off, then you're sit.There, watching the paint drive.Something would be lacking and missing.Because you have exposed everything even talking about it between each other.You can talk about with each other needs but when it comes to Intimacy and sex There's a fine line.. Couples keep a lot of stuff regarding sex and your lives to yourself.
This is so unclassy and TMI. As a Christian couple this is just unnecessary gossip. Disappointed in you both.Your kids will watch this one day. 😏
And I hope they know they have parents who stay intimate and love each other ☺️
@@TheColeLife I was talking more about the embarrassment the kids would feel. Not everything needs to be shared on social media. So called Christians seem to want to follow the crowd nowadays . Maybe concentrate on spreading the word . This is far from that, no one needs to know about your sex life.🤨
You are wrong. Brian and Lexi’s open and honest conversation is giving me hope for a Godly marriage like theirs.
@@LauryneAmanda Sad that you rely on a couple, when you should really focus on God to help you with dating. Seems you suffer from Idolatry.
@@lamino8-tg6ro no! Stop it!
Galatians 6:2: “Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”
The bible is very clear on christians being there for each other! You'll never know what God has called people to do! If this is their calling they shall fulfill it, they are helping a LOT of christian couples to know that it's okay to talk about intimacy, making it a taboo can leave people in unfulfilling marriages! Leading to people assuming a Christian marriage is supposed to be boring! Is that what you want? Some of us are very happy with these podcasts so you can keep your negativity to yourself