Yea but it takes time when all they ever said was how handsome and smart and perfect you are, then ghost. It’s like what about all the wonderful things I’m missing out on now too.
I spent 5 years with someone who said all the right things, but the actions didn’t match. My new partner matches his actions to his words. I got my closure when I realised I’d been in love with someone that never really existed.
I have experienced same thing. I can tell you one thing that what they say is who they want to be. What they do is who they are. So my advice always believe what they do.
Good for you Becca! I’ve resolved that you can’t lose what you never had…something that helps me move on and quick. Best wishes for much success with your new partner! ❤️
My partner left me 3 months ago after 5 years of relationship over a phone call because of an argument between our families where I stood up for his family. He told me I am a good person but my family isn’t compatible with his and he can’t continue. I was devastated for 3 months but now I realised a person who gave up so easily and didn’t care about my emotions is out of my life and it is a blessing.
"You want to come into my life, the door is open. You want to get out of my life, the door is open. Just one request...don't stand at the door, you're blocking the traffic." - Unknown Saw this today. Quite fitting. Thanks for another great video, Matthew. 🌸😊
I remember when I watched the movie "He's Just Not That Into You" and so many things clicked for me emotionally. I absolutely realized that any man who isn't gathering me into his life, treating me with respect, talking to me in a loving manner, lighting up when he sees me...isn't into me and HELLO, why would I want someone who isn't into me?? Now, any man who talks rude to me, doesn't call when he says he's going to, treats me like I barely matter- I can look clearly and say "He's not into me. He's either passing time with me while he waits for someone he thinks is better, or is an incredibly immature flake, or is too emotionally wounded and unwell to add goodness and joy to my life and will actually be a drain on my life. AND I DON'T WANT ANY OF THOSE THINGS NEAR ME! I MAY BE IMPERFECT, I MAY NOT BE THE PRETTIEST THING- BUT I AM LOVING AND I AM KIND AND I AM HONEST AND I AM FUN AND I AM WORTH LOVING. I AM WORTH SPENDING TIME WITH. I AM WORTH REMEMBERING ON VALENTINES DAY AND BIRTHDAYS. I AM WORTH MORE THAN CASUAL FLIRTATIONS AND GAMES. People, love yourselves: because you are wonderfully and fearfully made. You are precious. Wait Wait Wait for the people who gather you in and cover you with light.
I'm so excited my broken relationship has been restored my ex lover is back after he left me for another woman. I was helped by Dr Gabriel he can also help you out too.
For me it's so hard to digest that 'he's just not into me' you know. I know I only want someone who is, but if everything feels perfect and you're giving your all and it's still not enough it can make you feel so worthless.
The trouble is that a lot of times the person who lied and ghosted you, starts dating someone else that they actuley show-up for. Then your left thinking 'So what the hell is wrong with me?'
If someone ghost you it means they think that you are not worth a proper rejection from them. They think that they are superior to you they are a narcissist so stay away.
Or they don't want to hurt your feelings or are afraid of the reaction. What they don't realize is that it creates much much much more pain than any original rejection.
@@blossom6473 he came back said his phone was stolen. Now 5 days ago he left again. His last voicemessage was positive loving . I have no clue but I'm assuming it's a fake or player. He told me he would not dissapear without a bye. Lol Did you hear from him again?
I was ghosted by someone in 2010. It was a HORRIBLE way to end what we had. I kept calling because I wanted to straighten it out and resolve and he ignored my calls. He behaved as a huge coward that day. I deleted him from my mind because I REFUSED to feel all the horrible feelings I was feelings as I knew I didn't deserve it. 7 yrs later he died from a rare blood protein disorder. So he's truly a ghost now.
Ghosting, empty promises, flakers all have given me the experience to make this statement true, "believe nothing of what hear & only half of what you see" just be kind & watch how they act. Their actions cannot lie. 😊
But what if he was up front he's looking for friends first that can lead to a relationship, takes you out buys you dinners, constantly communicating with you literally everyday(via text smh) then literally one day ghosts you... Yes my current situation
@karebear k his final action of ghosting, tells me that he can play the game for a while but ultimately wasn't into me. Also, any man who says he wants to be friends first will get my friendly attention. I don't have sex with my friends, I don't text them daily, & when we go out, I pay my own tab.
How is possible someone to give you everything, love, support, compliments, making future plans about marriage and kids, meeting our families showing you every moment his love and in one day ghost you??????It's devastating, hurts like a hell, I really don't know how can I heal my broken heart
Your post was one year ago, but this happened to me 8 weeks ago. He Ghosted me after a year and 4 mos relationship. I had no indication that he would do such a thing. Devastating to me right now.
I gave up. I deleted all the dating apps I have. I booked a movie on weekdays because avoiding all couples. I avoided all dating locations and when am eating out, I just go to the lease crowded joint. I just gave up. Been ghosted continuously that I can't take it anymore. Today's dating scene is all sex first, hearts and mind later.
The whole video can be summed up as "Actions should match words and words should match actions." If actions and words don't match each other, there is a problem.
In my case he said he is more about actions than words, to justify him not texting for 4 days in between dates. Gosh I feel ao angry bc the one time he called me out of two, O said "it was nice to hear your voice". He replied "but it's better to see eachother". I felt a little jab right there. I felt it. Not only did I feel belittled, my appreciaton was rejected but he used it as a ln excuse to never having to call me aftee that. It's good to feel angry bc at least it's clear what he was and I'm out of the confusion stage.
I think the more depressing thing is not the ghosting itself but the fact that ghosting is such a prevalent M.O today. It happens so much that people feel totally justified in doing it - like this is how society is now. I don’t think I’d be too upset if I was ghosted after a date or two because I hadn’t invested a lot of time yet. But I read these stories about people ghosting after years of being someone and I’m like WTF? What happened to having a face to face conversation in that situation? Our society gives people permission to not be accountable and that’s messed up.
So true. When I was first ghosted, I was so upset and angry with that person and could not understand why people behave that way. Now I just got used to it, which honestly is the saddest thing ever. Good thing is that you get over it pretty quickly (at least if it happens after a few dates, not after years of having a relationship). Bad thing is that I don't trust anyone in dating anymore. If a person tells me, they want to see me again, I really want to believe them, but I just can't. Every time I say goodbye to someone after a date and they say "see you again" or whatever, my mind automatically goes "yeah well, we'll see about that..."
He ghosted me .....i feel so betrayed... moreover he was the one who initiated conversation and started to flirt with me where I didn't show much interest but atleast when I really got attached to him....he's gone finally ghosted...now i feel so betrayed and devastated. My trust issues have gone to peak
ughh. because i told him if he's not interested we can move on but he told me he wanted this. spoke about plans for the future and everything. so unnecessary
Also a good tip of advice is to not have too high expectations of anyone, ever. If your expectations are high, your disappointment will be just as high. You can’t control what other people say, do, or don’t do. You can just control yourself and the way you react to it and how you move forward.
I didn't have high expectations I just liked him and his last message was saying he would pleased to hear that and he thinks I'm really nice and really attractive. Whi leaves things like that. So random.
My partner left me 3 months ago after 5 years of relationship over a phone call because of an argument between our families where I stood up for his family. He told me I am a good person but my family isn’t compatible with his and he can’t continue. I was devastated for 3 months but now I realised a person who gave up so easily and didn’t care about my emotions is out of my life and it is a blessing.
I know of a great helper who will help you manifest anything you desire in life, I got my ex girlfriend back into my life after two years of break up with no contact, but she was later manifested back into my life by my great helper
The closure is you dodged a bullet. You won’t be wasting your time. You won’t be treated like less that what you’re worth. You won’t be kept from finding someone worth your time. I just dodged that bullet and I’m SO grateful for it. I know he’s gona contact me again (it’s who he is and I got a heads up on it). I’m SO happy I’ll be able to tell him I’m doing great cause it’s TRUE! He lost. 😁
People who ruminate constantly over ghosting are people you usually don’t come from a place of high self worth and confidence. That’s why the ghosting hurts so much - ignites the rejection trauma and a closure or them going back is a much needed validation. Just remember that you’re not suffering the loss of this person - you’re suffering the rejection, the abandonment, the promise of finally feeling loved and important, the loss of all the good memories you thought you would made.
I was ghosted after caring for someone for 15 months of being best friends he disappeared the day I had major surgery. It's a blessing he's gone as much as it hurts.
I so needed this today. I just went thru yet another ghosting and making me feel like I'm not enough and why I am never chosen but the other girl is. Thank you again for knowing what I needed when I needed it, this video hit home.
The timing of this video is impeccable. I was seeing someone long distance who then all of a sudden got cold feet, saying he didn't want any commitment. He however was still planning to spend alot of time with me and talked about going on dates when he got back to town over Christmas. I officially ended everything last night. Glad I listened to his words to avoid more heartbreak. Thank you Matthew :)
@@DanTuber That is clearly wrong, but it would make sense to say that it is more often the case that they do not work out than it is the case that they do.
Wonderful move! I did the same recently and never felt better. Of course, I have my shit days while processing this. When the man is not sure, but still want access in your life like he is a boyfriend, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! Piece if shit is selfish that is why they do what they do!
@@DanTuber Long distance rarely works because it takes more work to maintain. But sometimes they do work! I have couple friends who survived LDR and got married :)
@@DanTuber Long distance rarely works because it takes more work to maintain. But sometimes they do work! I have couple friends who survived LDR and got married :)
Literally perfect timing I needed this. Went on a date with someone almost two weeks ago and it went amazing and then he completely ghosted me (didn’t sleep together). I was shocked. I saw no red flags or gut feelings, so now I feel like I can’t even trust myself.
Girl this happened to me too. We really got on, with this guy went on a date, he seemed emotionally aware, and he had a kind face, a Pisces, we connected spiritually had a great time.. I haven’t heard from him in a week. He made me feel beautiful, loved and respected but he’s disappeared. Sent him a msg and he’s leaving me on read.. I’m kinda hurt and disappointed with myself for not listening to myself or my intuition. Went through the whole self doubt and feeling unworthy but it’s not me that has a problem I’m here open receptive and ready for true authentic love he needs to deal with his past.., he hasn’t healed and he’s treating me like how his exes did
Literally recovering from this at the moment, great first date - said he was sick and cancelled the second date and left me on read. But hasn’t unmatched me or texted me since. Wtf.
Lol no they just knew they didn’t want to talk to you anymore and instead if accepting it like an adult you think that it’s someone else’s duty to make you happy by interacting with you even if they don’t feel like it.
If someone doesn't give me closure, I just take it myself. The last guy, for example. I really liked him, we went on 2 dates. On the second date he kissed me goodbye and said that we should meet again & plan for some trip. Then he disappeared. I will not lie, It did hurt me. But I stopped being the girl who silently waits for a message from a guy. I texted him next day asking him what went wrong, he answered with some lousy excuse & lied that we are ok. And ghosted again. So after few days I just texted him with a long angry message, it wasn't too rude, just expressed my disappointment on his lousy behavior & pointed out ghosting is not a nice thing to do. I did not expected him to react to this and eventually he ignored my message, but for me it was ok. One sided closure is better than no closure, I stopped thinking about him after a week. I am ok.
Ennon You are absolutely right to tell this man exactly how you feel and what he did wrong.Its so important that women express their frustration, sorrow and anger. Always be the lady who has the last dignified word on the subject.
Just keep breaking your own windows and put the blame on the other person LOL.. The angry response sounds needy and is a huge turn off for guys where as a girl you have to do some actual work to stay relevant for a guy dating and sounds more like a case of projection due to high expectation/low self esteem (i.e. you should be mad at yourself first for being gullible) He owed you nothing..
@@hoidoei941 OMG dude, what window?? He is a total jerk (any dude who ghosts is a jerk), so no, thanks, I do not what him back, so no window was closed. How is it needy telling the jerk who is is? I do NOT need him back, and yea, no one ows anyone anything, but I can point out shitty behaviour & I will, as it makes me feel better. I hope it makes them fell a bit worse, or not, not that important actually. I do it for myself & to teach the jerks that it will not slide as silently, as they expect. And yea, I excpect the person to treat me well, I don't think it is a "high expectation", it is basic
I'm a straight guy but honestly this guy has such great advice that I can apply it to myself too. This topic in particular is something I'm painfully familiar with, my ex did this to me like 3 months ago and I still think about it.
This is extremely difficult. My ex didn’t really ghost me but I needed to know the truth about why he was acting like that. I don’t care, maybe I hurt myself more but I needed to know from him. He didn’t say the truth but talking to him that much made me understand that he lied a lot and he confused me a lot. I understand that he’s saying that you don’t need closure but I was so confused I just couldn’t move on as if it was nothing. So yeah, I don’t regret wanting answers from him
@@ChocoParfaitFra Honestly, I think it's a normal, human thing to want answers. We are almost programmed to want to know and understand the reasons behind things - like, in movies, we want to know why the villain in the story becomes bad. Also, the questions we have can haunt us, and we think if only we knew why certain things happened, we could accept it and move on. Accepting that you will never have the kind of closure you are looking for is much much harder. (I know, I have been there).
Very true...if someone doesn’t want to be with you, let them go! Stop wasting your energy with them. If they wanted to be with you, they would be jumping to the opportunity, fighting for the chance to be by your side. If they are not...then they are not for you. Let them go...
On point, as someone that waited for 5 years for a closure, don't wait for it, it will never come, move on, turn the page because the chapter ended and all you are writing in those pages are dots.
I was actually grateful for my last break up. First time I said to myself " thank God he didn't waste anymore of my time. Now I have time for the real thing."
-It really depends. If who you are is an addict or an alcoholic, or even an abusive person in a consistent manner, than, yeah, you do have to change. Not necessarily just for others, but also for your self.
When they ghost you from the beginning it’s blessing cuz one day they would ghost you maybe you already fall in love with them. This kind of people does not brave enough.
I been getting ghosted for 7 years , every time I meet someone knew I keep in mind not to have expectations and to be selective with the things I share with someone knew. After I get ghosted I try to keep in mind that it’s not me it’s them.
Excellent Matt! I wish I heard this "rule" before investing so much in my prior "relationship ". Pay attention fellow humans.. run when they treat you like a girlfriend but say they don't want a relationship. Regardless of how good it feels, your heart will be broken! Run!!
It’s hard 😞 I am in this situation right now. He treated me like his girl but he said he can’t be loyal and he doesn’t want a relationship. But every moment I spent with him was a paradise. I feel so happy when I was with him. What should I do?😭
@@soniana7806 you're being love bombed. Soon the reality will come out & you will be the one hurting. A man will get away with as much as you allow him to. If he leaves or cheats, don't take him back. He will only do it again. Good luck
Forgive my ignorance and I am learning the new dating arena after being “asleep” for several years. Is that what is called a situationship? I am still learning? Or is that casual dating? What is the term? Or, is he an a**?
It hurts because he's the only one who's given me romantic attention and he always knows how to make me feel better about myself. And he just disappeared without saying goodbye. I felt so lost and lonely without him. Why couldn't he just told me he doesn't love me anymore? Sure I'd be heartbroken, sure I wouldn't handle a sudden breakup out of nowhere, but atleast it doesn't leave me thinking what went wrong that it's so easy for him to leave everything we started together😭💔
Moving on after my ex-fiancé chose to leave, thanks to these messages especially this one, have made ALL the difference in healing. Thank you thank you ♥️
Hi! Good for you. How are you now Max, 9 months after? Im in a similar situation and I’m bewildered as we were perfect and compatible so it’s pretty thought to breathe, I hope 9 months from now I can look back and be proud of my growth!
I have just been ghosted by a guy who I thought was the perfect guy. Saw so many red flags but I kept ignoring them because I thought he liked me. He then blocked me, so confused and hurt but trying to be strong and tell myself that he wasn't the perfect guy and I'm well shot of him x
Action speak louder their words!! Sometimes our heart or feelings fool us to believe that they will change, unfortunately not. The reality is they are showing the real them but we refuse to to ignore all the sign. Sad but true. I left my ex after 5 years for bullshit. 🙏❤️👍❤️
"People show you who they are"....then why do I always make things up in my head, as to WHY their actions did not line up? It's as if I'm making excuses for them!
I did that. I think it's because you're a good person so you want to see the best in other people too. That's great and all but you can't wear rose colored glasses forever and you can't expect people to be who they're not. We are where we are in our life journey so just be at peace with that. And have good boundaries with people. You have to treat yourself with respect to demonstrate to other people how you expect to be treated. Good luck ❤
I’m not into too many of these advice channels but fair play to this guy. There are gifts, silver linings and blessings in disguise associated with people ghosting you.
💯 Facts. I was married for 23years. Ex cheated and I divorced him. Instead of apologizing he deflected and became defensive. I don't want closure from a liar. His actions did not match and that was evidence and closure enough for me.
A guy and I were really hitting it off. Flirting, saying we like each other, etc etc. I asked if we could try dating, but then he ghosted immediately. That really hurt.
I like to say you dodged a bullet because why play a game to our hearts to get in our pants??? Like Nah... I understand your pain I was once there. Honestly. The moment he probably thought yes but a lot of them don't really think what they are getting into until it becomes real to them, and then they ghost. Honestly, when men also play the love bomb tactic, it's rapey their behavior got nothing to do you or anyone hurt. Men some times can't be accountable. We can for ourselves and learn this lesson as a valuable experience because it will help you become wiser and know who you are
This doesn’t happen just to girls btw. I had a trip planned to see this girl after we had been talking for two months. All of the sudden she fucking blocks me with no explanation, after inferring that she wanted a relationship, and she didn’t even have the common courtesy to fucking tell me so I could get my money back ($1000 Hotel + Flight), luckily I put the pieces together and I got the $ back! Hurt like crazy, drove me kinda crazy for a little (I struggle with depression) but I’m so happy now, because I know that person was dishonest and cowardly (not things I want in a partner) It’s been a month now and I’m finally starting to feel better and I’m talking to someone new, just got a promotion at work I truly believe things happen for a reason, as hard as it is, keep your head up and move.
Easy come easy go is the mindset ti have dude. Been there myself. Believe it or not what's most frustrating is not the other person's inexcusable behaviors, but the questions of "did I handle this just right" in all situations. Too much too little, too strong too weak, too bold too passive. Fine tuning the balancing in dating people today is a real bitch.
It's so great when you guys participate in this and open up about your feelings and experiences. It helps us get a better perspective on things. I've been so hurt by men I just started believing you're incapable of having actual feelings. Thanks for helping me stay grounded and having more hope for the future.
This is exactly why I don't date any longer. At 42, divorced, and a single mom, I just don't get anything out of putting so energy into just "one person". It's just not worth it to me, especially after leaving an abusive marriage. I get way more out of my friendships, family, faith, and hobbies, then I ever have out of putting all my eggs into just one basket (a "romantic" relationship. Who cares if someone texts me back. Who cares if someone likes me or not. I care and love myself enough not to care about what just ONE person thinks of me. Ladies: you are ENOUGH. You don't need a man to complete you. You are already complete. You are enough as you are. You are whole. Don't look for a man to give you validation or reassurance, learn how to validate yourself.
Youre right that we shouldnt leave all other areas of our lives behind for men. But its a normal human desire to want a husband one day. Im 33 and stupid and just got ghosted today. I hope to be like you one day. Im hurt. Its been too many failures already. Im sad.
@@etcwhatever Do things that make you happy and keep busy. It's really that simple. If you isolate yourself, that azzhole who ghosted you will dominate your thoughts. Keep moving!!
This is beautiful🌹❤️ Just what I needed to hear after heartbreak💔 over someone who was not worth it. I am enough & always have been. But yet, I felt not enough & was devalued. He was a user. A Cluster B & highly Narcissistic. I've been Focusing on my life since. So much good things are happening, growth & abundance. Had to remove the toxic people from my life and life is better. Was hard for a while. But, you must get away from these people.
Closure is individual duty. Yes, yes, yes! Aside from that, dating and flirting are completely harmless if we listen what Matt suggests: "Watch their actions, unless, what they say is inconvenient to say, then believe their words." And it comes back to our ability to listen. Yeay! Another lesson for simpler love life. Thank you for this! 😃
As a guy who just gone through this situation, I completely agree with Matthew. The person you were attracted to may be sweet with their words, but see their actions. Look at the signs. If you ever get flaked on, ghosted, or rejected, start creating boundaries and standards for yourself. Know your values. Hope you all find love within yourselves!
The painful thing is when it started 150 % from his side- he was interested, investing, caring and he wanted new dates so fast. In the end he didnt wrote again on the day when we wanted to meet. He was the last to answer my message but he said we would speak again later before. I thought about what if he waited for me to write again but I know its not true. When I wrote again a few days later he didnt even read it.
I was ghosted a couple of weeks ago, and it still hurts like hell. I didn't try to contact him, I don't understand and I'll never will. I just want to stop the pain.
I walked away and cut communication with a guy who was playing boyfriend but told me he didn’t want a relationship. It hurt like hell. But sometimes doing the right thing for yourself because you love yourself isn’t easy.
Thank you for this ❤ I’ve just been ghosted. It really hurts because I’m way too understanding, I get that life happens and people makes mistakes. But being ghosted, I just can’t understand (why???). Now I’m giving myself the closure I need ❤
I never thought of it that way. That they are people who don’t keep their word. Rejection is protection . The best thing I learned is that if someone says something to you believe them , And vice Versa.
Honestly he's so right about where the closure comes. Even with my Mom i needed to go No Contact with, i saw her again at my grandmother's funeral 7 years after i last saw her at all - and i got the confirmation that she was still someone I couldn't have in my life. Her siblings had to call the police to stop her making a scene at the funeral home. And when my mom died 3 years later it was easier because I had the sense of closure of knowing she really was still exactly who I knew she was and wasn't gonna change. I had processed that the mom i had who actually existed just wasn't someone who deserved to have me in her life, wasn't someone who would bring me anything but pain. I was retraumatized in the moment of her new actions at my grandmother's funeral but once i processed it, I felt the sense of closure. The same thing is true about the guy who kept ghosting me, the guy who ghosted me as a way to breakup with me and then had the audacity 3 years later to want to get back together.
I'm sorry about your Mom. I too have a very destructive mentally ill Mom that I keep a distance from. Thank you for writing this. It puts into words how I often times feel but cannot explain to others. I'm glad you got the closure you needed. I get mine from being the best Mom I can to my own children and never doing to them what was done to me. Thank you.
Same here. Thirty years later, I just feel sorry that she is the way she is. No hate, just sadness that she couldn't be a mother to me. I have an ex who still contacts me twelve years later after marrying someone younger. He is miserable but won't do anything about it. Not my problem, I recently cut him totally off, sick of mind games.
I was seeing someone for 2-3 months, hardly got to see them during that time, then the big Sydney lockdown happened. He ghosted basically as soon as we got out of lockdown after 4 months of talking everyday like long distance. I’m so mad honestly.
Love this! Someone once said to me, the best way to get closure on a situation (and my situation was probably one of the most complex ones you may have ever heard, I honestly wish I had simply been ghosted)….is to shut the door!
Had a guy ghost me.... years later buddy seen me during this panademic and tryed talking to me and I brushed him off. He remembered me and i really dont care for him. Theres a reason why he dissappeared and there's a reason why he doesn't deserve my time!
Guys one thing promise me if the ghost ever comes back dont DONT ever go back Ok ill spill my tea ,i got ghosted by the situationship i was in and obv the worst tjmes of my life But then i took him back because i just needed his validation (guys they r ordinary people too who r just too immature of their actions yall r not lacking anywhere please) n he changed a bit afterwards(not exactly the ideal type) I wasnt attached this time and i was fine if we just didn't hit off again. Well then i ended things with him after a while cause i realized i could do better i mean he was good but why would i want him again after hes shown me his true colours once never shown up to his words Now n then he messages me god knows why but ik im not gonna let him again into my life.
The analogy you used about pharmaceutical companies’ disclaimers vastly helped me to understand communications had between me and men. I can not thank you enough Matthew!
I don't think people are waiting for closure....... they WANT the person, the relationship, they want it real, without the lies, gaslighting, ghosting. They had fun. They want things to change for the better. They want to hang on to the good........That's why you get those questions. Matthew....... they don't want to be left, unwanted... that is why they (we) try to find a crumb to hang on to....
I'm so excited my broken relationship has been restored my ex lover is back after he left me for another woman. I was helped by Dr Gabriel he can also help you out too.🌹🌷
You’re so right! I married someone who lied and bragged about how he ghosted women after sleeping with them. He was the husband for hell. Got out after 6 months
I had all of these things just happen to me by the same person and I was left so unbelievably confused. Well confused and hurt no more. What a blessing this was. Timing was right on the money too. Thank you for all you do Matthew. This girl isn't spending another minute mourning what could have been. Nope instead I'm appreciative of what wasn't and all the time and heartache I was spared. That oddly has me less angry at him now and instead can just appreciate what was good about it for what little time it was. Time to move upward and onwards to better things and people who can see what he couldn't. Better days are here again 🎉
The reason why ghosting hurts is because it's the realization that you overestimated your importance in this person's life
I just miss the good times and thought I had really made a friend 😔
Good one.
@@Kingx90 I know it sucks 😞
@@Kingx90 exactly
Perfectly said.
“The disrespect should be all the closure you need”
Yea but it takes time when all they ever said was how handsome and smart and perfect you are, then ghost. It’s like what about all the wonderful things I’m missing out on now too.
.
Pp
.
@@Kingx90
this is sooo truee.
I spent 5 years with someone who said all the right things, but the actions didn’t match. My new partner matches his actions to his words. I got my closure when I realised I’d been in love with someone that never really existed.
That last sentence..... Wow. Powerful perspective. I will definitely be hanging on to that one. 🖤
I have experienced same thing. I can tell you one thing that what they say is who they want to be. What they do is who they are. So my advice always believe what they do.
Good for you Becca! I’ve resolved that you can’t lose what you never had…something that helps me move on and quick. Best wishes for much success with your new partner! ❤️
Awesome statement ; someone that never existed ! I feel you
My partner left me 3 months ago after 5 years of relationship over a phone call because of an argument between our families where I stood up for his family. He told me I am a good person but my family isn’t compatible with his and he can’t continue.
I was devastated for 3 months but now I realised a person who gave up so easily and didn’t care about my emotions is out of my life and it is a blessing.
"You want to come into my life, the door is open. You want to get out of my life, the door is open. Just one request...don't stand at the door, you're blocking the traffic."
- Unknown
Saw this today. Quite fitting. Thanks for another great video, Matthew. 🌸😊
Oh wow, i totally love this quote! 🤩 Thanks
I love it perfect thanks for sharing .
Haha, brilliant !!
Don't stand at the door your blocking traffic lol
Just slam the door. His fault if his toes hurt
I remember when I watched the movie "He's Just Not That Into You" and so many things clicked for me emotionally. I absolutely realized that any man who isn't gathering me into his life, treating me with respect, talking to me in a loving manner, lighting up when he sees me...isn't into me and HELLO, why would I want someone who isn't into me?? Now, any man who talks rude to me, doesn't call when he says he's going to, treats me like I barely matter- I can look clearly and say "He's not into me. He's either passing time with me while he waits for someone he thinks is better, or is an incredibly immature flake, or is too emotionally wounded and unwell to add goodness and joy to my life and will actually be a drain on my life. AND I DON'T WANT ANY OF THOSE THINGS NEAR ME! I MAY BE IMPERFECT, I MAY NOT BE THE PRETTIEST THING- BUT I AM LOVING AND I AM KIND AND I AM HONEST AND I AM FUN AND I AM WORTH LOVING. I AM WORTH SPENDING TIME WITH. I AM WORTH REMEMBERING ON VALENTINES DAY AND BIRTHDAYS. I AM WORTH MORE THAN CASUAL FLIRTATIONS AND GAMES. People, love yourselves: because you are wonderfully and fearfully made. You are precious. Wait Wait Wait for the people who gather you in and cover you with light.
I'm so excited my broken relationship has been restored my ex lover is back after he left me for another woman. I was helped by Dr Gabriel he can also help you out too.
For me it's so hard to digest that 'he's just not into me' you know. I know I only want someone who is, but if everything feels perfect and you're giving your all and it's still not enough it can make you feel so worthless.
i needed this 💔♥️
@@realme888 me too ♥️♥️💫💫
That movie made me realize where a lot of girls mess up… Lol it’s so sad…
The trouble is that a lot of times the person who lied and ghosted you, starts dating someone else that they actuley show-up for. Then your left thinking 'So what the hell is wrong with me?'
They just weren't into you. I have it done to me many times and i have done it many times myslef.
they were not into you ,but instead they lead you on ,some even start relationships and ghost.it is not your fault.
Don't stalk someone who is not having the courtesy to bid a goodbye.
He might tell you: "I'm not ready for a relationship", but what he really means is "I don't want a relationship with YOU".
Its painful
If someone ghost you it means they think that you are not worth a proper rejection from them. They think that they are superior to you they are a narcissist so stay away.
I rather think they're just weak cowards who can't face confrontation.
@@lottielottie9619hahah and not a good men either!! I have Learned that a good men with strong character will NEVER GHOST!!
Or they don't want to hurt your feelings or are afraid of the reaction. What they don't realize is that it creates much much much more pain than any original rejection.
Spot on
Remember talk is cheap. When a man shows you who he is, believe him the first time. Too many clowns around 🤡🤡🤡
Exactly. I just had another encounter with one 😢 😡
@@peaceofmindofpeace1650not nice 😢. He still hasn't messaged me back
@@blossom6473 he came back said his phone was stolen.
Now 5 days ago he left again. His last voicemessage was positive loving .
I have no clue but I'm assuming it's a fake or player. He told me he would not dissapear without a bye. Lol
Did you hear from him again?
I understand the message, but if every man you meet ends up doing you like this it’s hard to cope sometimes
Agreed. And yes, every man I meet does this exact thing
Same
“When someone shows you who they are, believe them.” Love this!
I was ghosted by someone in 2010. It was a HORRIBLE way to end what we had. I kept calling because I wanted to straighten it out and resolve and he ignored my calls. He behaved as a huge coward that day. I deleted him from my mind because I REFUSED to feel all the horrible feelings I was feelings as I knew I didn't deserve it. 7 yrs later he died from a rare blood protein disorder. So he's truly a ghost now.
SHIET
yawnnnn thats what i call karma. ghosting someone is truly the biggest disrespect you can give a person. especially when they are in love with u
Gosh!
At least you tried to get closure and understand. I like how you wanted to refuse the bad feelings because you have self esteem.
Omg
📌 Any time someone ghosts you, anytime someone doesn’t show up for you - that is a form of closure. People are always showing you who they are.
Ghosting, empty promises, flakers all have given me the experience to make this statement true, "believe nothing of what hear & only half of what you see" just be kind & watch how they act. Their actions cannot lie. 😊
I believe all that I see, half what I hear and all actions speak louder than words.
But what if he was up front he's looking for friends first that can lead to a relationship, takes you out buys you dinners, constantly communicating with you literally everyday(via text smh) then literally one day ghosts you...
Yes my current situation
@karebear k his final action of ghosting, tells me that he can play the game for a while but ultimately wasn't into me. Also, any man who says he wants to be friends first will get my friendly attention. I don't have sex with my friends, I don't text them daily, & when we go out, I pay my own tab.
@@Alexis-wu7gklove it!!! That’s smart! You teaching me something !
How is possible someone to give you everything, love, support, compliments, making future plans about marriage and kids, meeting our families showing you every moment his love and in one day ghost you??????It's devastating, hurts like a hell, I really don't know how can I heal my broken heart
😢
Your post was one year ago, but this happened to me 8 weeks ago. He Ghosted me after a year and 4 mos relationship. I had no indication that he would do such a thing. Devastating to me right now.
I gave up. I deleted all the dating apps I have. I booked a movie on weekdays because avoiding all couples. I avoided all dating locations and when am eating out, I just go to the lease crowded joint.
I just gave up. Been ghosted continuously that I can't take it anymore. Today's dating scene is all sex first, hearts and mind later.
"Actions speak louder than words."
There's a reason this sentance is so well known the world over.
Watch til the end!
Pay attention to someone's actions more than their words unless what they telling you is inconvenient for them to say, this is a game changer!
Yes, love in action, not words.
The whole video can be summed up as "Actions should match words and words should match actions." If actions and words don't match each other, there is a problem.
Found myself in that,but the other side didn't reason with "my truth"....sadly but truely...🖤
In my case he said he is more about actions than words, to justify him not texting for 4 days in between dates.
Gosh I feel ao angry bc the one time he called me out of two, O said "it was nice to hear your voice".
He replied "but it's better to see eachother".
I felt a little jab right there. I felt it.
Not only did I feel belittled, my appreciaton was rejected but he used it as a ln excuse to never having to call me aftee that.
It's good to feel angry bc at least it's clear what he was and I'm out of the confusion stage.
I think the more depressing thing is not the ghosting itself but the fact that ghosting is such a prevalent M.O today. It happens so much that people feel totally justified in doing it - like this is how society is now. I don’t think I’d be too upset if I was ghosted after a date or two because I hadn’t invested a lot of time yet. But I read these stories about people ghosting after years of being someone and I’m like WTF? What happened to having a face to face conversation in that situation? Our society gives people permission to not be accountable and that’s messed up.
Amen.
So true. When I was first ghosted, I was so upset and angry with that person and could not understand why people behave that way. Now I just got used to it, which honestly is the saddest thing ever. Good thing is that you get over it pretty quickly (at least if it happens after a few dates, not after years of having a relationship). Bad thing is that I don't trust anyone in dating anymore. If a person tells me, they want to see me again, I really want to believe them, but I just can't. Every time I say goodbye to someone after a date and they say "see you again" or whatever, my mind automatically goes "yeah well, we'll see about that..."
Omg yes thats exactly what i think when we say goodbye @@Vanessa-fc4di
He ghosted me .....i feel so betrayed... moreover he was the one who initiated conversation and started to flirt with me where I didn't show much interest but atleast when I really got attached to him....he's gone finally ghosted...now i feel so betrayed and devastated. My trust issues have gone to peak
ughh. because i told him if he's not interested we can move on but he told me he wanted this. spoke about plans for the future and everything. so unnecessary
Also a good tip of advice is to not have too high expectations of anyone, ever. If your expectations are high, your disappointment will be just as high.
You can’t control what other people say, do, or don’t do. You can just control yourself and the way you react to it and how you move forward.
That part. Being ghosted right now, and I told myself earlier, u dodged a bullet because clearly he's an asshole. Still hurts though
You are 100% right.
FACTS
@@karebeark3572 👍
I didn't have high expectations I just liked him and his last message was saying he would pleased to hear that and he thinks I'm really nice and really attractive. Whi leaves things like that. So random.
My partner left me 3 months ago after 5 years of relationship over a phone call because of an argument between our families where I stood up for his family. He told me I am a good person but my family isn’t compatible with his and he can’t continue.
I was devastated for 3 months but now I realised a person who gave up so easily and didn’t care about my emotions is out of my life and it is a blessing.
Do you need help
I know of a great helper who will help you manifest anything you desire in life, I got my ex girlfriend back into my life after two years of break up with no contact, but she was later manifested back into my life by my great helper
You can message my great helper directly on whatzapp for help
Absolutely. After all that, you aren’t missing out..you’re better off..
good for you girl
The closure is you dodged a bullet. You won’t be wasting your time. You won’t be treated like less that what you’re worth. You won’t be kept from finding someone worth your time.
I just dodged that bullet and I’m SO grateful for it. I know he’s gona contact me again (it’s who he is and I got a heads up on it). I’m SO happy I’ll be able to tell him I’m doing great cause it’s TRUE! He lost. 😁
People who ruminate constantly over ghosting are people you usually don’t come from a place of high self worth and confidence. That’s why the ghosting hurts so much - ignites the rejection trauma and a closure or them going back is a much needed validation. Just remember that you’re not suffering the loss of this person - you’re suffering the rejection, the abandonment, the promise of finally feeling loved and important, the loss of all the good memories you thought you would made.
well ja, all of that but he also owes me money
I was ghosted after caring for someone for 15 months of being best friends he disappeared the day I had major surgery. It's a blessing he's gone as much as it hurts.
I understand this pain and I love you
God will reward you beautiful soul with so much better ❤
Wow that's cold. Not a good person that man. Glad you have the self esteem to see that.
I so needed this today. I just went thru yet another ghosting and making me feel like I'm not enough and why I am never chosen but the other girl is. Thank you again for knowing what I needed when I needed it, this video hit home.
Me too. Thank you
Same girl 😭😭 but we are worth more than that!! 👑
Sometimes I just want to give up...:-(
Same here 😢
@@agat9151 same....I have been on so many dates...I hate the whole game behind it.
The timing of this video is impeccable. I was seeing someone long distance who then all of a sudden got cold feet, saying he didn't want any commitment. He however was still planning to spend alot of time with me and talked about going on dates when he got back to town over Christmas. I officially ended everything last night. Glad I listened to his words to avoid more heartbreak. Thank you Matthew :)
@@DanTuber That is clearly wrong, but it would make sense to say that it is more often the case that they do not work out than it is the case that they do.
Stay stong girl.
Wonderful move! I did the same recently and never felt better. Of course, I have my shit days while processing this. When the man is not sure, but still want access in your life like he is a boyfriend, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! Piece if shit is selfish that is why they do what they do!
@@DanTuber Long distance rarely works because it takes more work to maintain. But sometimes they do work! I have couple friends who survived LDR and got married :)
@@DanTuber Long distance rarely works because it takes more work to maintain. But sometimes they do work! I have couple friends who survived LDR and got married :)
Literally perfect timing I needed this. Went on a date with someone almost two weeks ago and it went amazing and then he completely ghosted me (didn’t sleep together). I was shocked. I saw no red flags or gut feelings, so now I feel like I can’t even trust myself.
He must be crazy - you look perfect
Girl this happened to me too. We really got on, with this guy went on a date, he seemed emotionally aware, and he had a kind face, a Pisces, we connected spiritually had a great time.. I haven’t heard from him in a week. He made me feel beautiful, loved and respected but he’s disappeared. Sent him a msg and he’s leaving me on read.. I’m kinda hurt and disappointed with myself for not listening to myself or my intuition. Went through the whole self doubt and feeling unworthy but it’s not me that has a problem I’m here open receptive and ready for true authentic love he needs to deal with his past.., he hasn’t healed and he’s treating me like how his exes did
Don't invest any feelings or emotions in one date.
Literally recovering from this at the moment, great first date - said he was sick and cancelled the second date and left me on read. But hasn’t unmatched me or texted me since. Wtf.
@@crashingxhearts It was just one date. Just say NEXT and move on. You invested nothing, so you lost NOTHING!
I’m being ghosted right now and this video is helping me hear what his words said to me. I need to move on!
Yep you should give yourself closure. But ghosters are still cowards. End of story.
Absolutely! Cowards!
So disgusting beyond a coward !!!!!
Exactly they are beyond pathetic
♥️💯 fucking cowards
Lol no they just knew they didn’t want to talk to you anymore and instead if accepting it like an adult you think that it’s someone else’s duty to make you happy by interacting with you even if they don’t feel like it.
If someone doesn't give me closure, I just take it myself. The last guy, for example. I really liked him, we went on 2 dates. On the second date he kissed me goodbye and said that we should meet again & plan for some trip. Then he disappeared. I will not lie, It did hurt me. But I stopped being the girl who silently waits for a message from a guy. I texted him next day asking him what went wrong, he answered with some lousy excuse & lied that we are ok. And ghosted again. So after few days I just texted him with a long angry message, it wasn't too rude, just expressed my disappointment on his lousy behavior & pointed out ghosting is not a nice thing to do. I did not expected him to react to this and eventually he ignored my message, but for me it was ok. One sided closure is better than no closure, I stopped thinking about him after a week. I am ok.
Ennon You are absolutely right to tell this man exactly how you feel and what he did wrong.Its so important that women express their frustration, sorrow and anger. Always be the lady who has the last dignified word on the subject.
Just keep breaking your own windows and put the blame on the other person LOL.. The angry response sounds needy and is a huge turn off for guys where as a girl you have to do some actual work to stay relevant for a guy dating and sounds more like a case of projection due to high expectation/low self esteem (i.e. you should be mad at yourself first for being gullible) He owed you nothing..
@@hoidoei941 OMG dude, what window?? He is a total jerk (any dude who ghosts is a jerk), so no, thanks, I do not what him back, so no window was closed. How is it needy telling the jerk who is is? I do NOT need him back, and yea, no one ows anyone anything, but I can point out shitty behaviour & I will, as it makes me feel better. I hope it makes them fell a bit worse, or not, not that important actually. I do it for myself & to teach the jerks that it will not slide as silently, as they expect. And yea, I excpect the person to treat me well, I don't think it is a "high expectation", it is basic
@@hoidoei941 A pot calling (not even) a kettle black, very interesting
Mansplain more dibbi
I'm a straight guy but honestly this guy has such great advice that I can apply it to myself too.
This topic in particular is something I'm painfully familiar with, my ex did this to me like 3 months ago and I still think about it.
This is now the closure to you. Don't think about her anymore. Stay away from that energy. She doesn't deserve any piece of it 🙏
This is extremely difficult. My ex didn’t really ghost me but I needed to know the truth about why he was acting like that. I don’t care, maybe I hurt myself more but I needed to know from him. He didn’t say the truth but talking to him that much made me understand that he lied a lot and he confused me a lot. I understand that he’s saying that you don’t need closure but I was so confused I just couldn’t move on as if it was nothing. So yeah, I don’t regret wanting answers from him
The pain will end. Keep faith and your passions alive.
@@ChocoParfaitFra Honestly, I think it's a normal, human thing to want answers. We are almost programmed to want to know and understand the reasons behind things - like, in movies, we want to know why the villain in the story becomes bad. Also, the questions we have can haunt us, and we think if only we knew why certain things happened, we could accept it and move on. Accepting that you will never have the kind of closure you are looking for is much much harder. (I know, I have been there).
@@Damsel_in_This_Dress yes I feel you so much. And yeah, knowing things helps in many ways
Very true...if someone doesn’t want to be with you, let them go! Stop wasting your energy with them. If they wanted to be with you, they would be jumping to the opportunity, fighting for the chance to be by your side. If they are not...then they are not for you. Let them go...
Yup. Sometimes the only closure you need is the understanding that you deserve better.
Someone not keeping to their word and you still have them …1000 times worse !!!! Had to block and delete to move forward …. Thank you !
On point, as someone that waited for 5 years for a closure, don't wait for it, it will never come, move on, turn the page because the chapter ended and all you are writing in those pages are dots.
I like this analogy :)
I was actually grateful for my last break up. First time I said to myself " thank God he didn't waste anymore of my time. Now I have time for the real thing."
I used to be hurt by ghosting, but I realized they did me a favor. Any woman that is high quality, wouldn't ghost.
You shouldn't apologize for being who you are.
-It really depends. If who you are is an addict or an alcoholic, or even an abusive person in a consistent manner, than, yeah, you do have to change. Not necessarily just for others, but also for your self.
@@Mommyoftwooakgrateful for your additional perspective 🙏🏽
Exactly 🙌🏻
I seriously hate when people go back on their word. How do I not get trust issues from this? Makes me want to guard my heart
When they ghost you from the beginning it’s blessing cuz one day they would ghost you maybe you already fall in love with them. This kind of people does not brave enough.
I been getting ghosted for 7 years , every time I meet someone knew I keep in mind not to have expectations and to be selective with the things I share with someone knew. After I get ghosted I try to keep in mind that it’s not me it’s them.
Excellent Matt! I wish I heard this "rule" before investing so much in my prior "relationship ". Pay attention fellow humans.. run when they treat you like a girlfriend but say they don't want a relationship. Regardless of how good it feels, your heart will be broken! Run!!
It’s hard 😞 I am in this situation right now. He treated me like his girl but he said he can’t be loyal and he doesn’t want a relationship. But every moment I spent with him was a paradise. I feel so happy when I was with him. What should I do?😭
@@soniana7806 you're being love bombed. Soon the reality will come out & you will be the one hurting. A man will get away with as much as you allow him to. If he leaves or cheats, don't take him back. He will only do it again. Good luck
Truth! 😢
Forgive my ignorance and I am learning the new dating arena after being “asleep” for several years. Is that what is called a situationship? I am still learning? Or is that casual dating? What is the term? Or, is he an a**?
It took me decades to understand this!! I'm glad I don't get hung up in wanting more proof anymore. The actions speak for themselves.
I loved your saying....Disinterest is closure!
Happened to me recently. I wished him all the best and now moved on and meeting new guys. Value yourself, your worth more. I have standards 👍
Working through the hurt. Getting stronger day by day.
If any guy do this to me - that is a turned off ready and so thankful he did it soon enough to not waste my time. 3 strikes, its over.
It hurts because he's the only one who's given me romantic attention and he always knows how to make me feel better about myself. And he just disappeared without saying goodbye. I felt so lost and lonely without him. Why couldn't he just told me he doesn't love me anymore? Sure I'd be heartbroken, sure I wouldn't handle a sudden breakup out of nowhere, but atleast it doesn't leave me thinking what went wrong that it's so easy for him to leave everything we started together😭💔
Moving on after my ex-fiancé chose to leave, thanks to these messages especially this one, have made ALL the difference in healing. Thank you thank you ♥️
give it time, am in the same shoes.
Honestly it feels better knowing i'm not alone going through this. Here's to remind you that you're doing good and you gat this💪❤️
Hi! Good for you. How are you now Max, 9 months after? Im in a similar situation and I’m bewildered as we were perfect and compatible so it’s pretty thought to breathe, I hope 9 months from now I can look back and be proud of my growth!
Sorry that happened. You seem like a great guy being so positive
I have just been ghosted by a guy who I thought was the perfect guy. Saw so many red flags but I kept ignoring them because I thought he liked me. He then blocked me, so confused and hurt but trying to be strong and tell myself that he wasn't the perfect guy and I'm well shot of him x
Action speak louder their words!! Sometimes our heart or feelings fool us to believe that they will change, unfortunately not. The reality is they are showing the real them but we refuse to to ignore all the sign. Sad but true. I left my ex after 5 years for bullshit. 🙏❤️👍❤️
"People show you who they are"....then why do I always make things up in my head, as to WHY their actions did not line up? It's as if I'm making excuses for them!
I did that. I think it's because you're a good person so you want to see the best in other people too. That's great and all but you can't wear rose colored glasses forever and you can't expect people to be who they're not. We are where we are in our life journey so just be at peace with that. And have good boundaries with people. You have to treat yourself with respect to demonstrate to other people how you expect to be treated. Good luck ❤
I’m not into too many of these advice channels but fair play to this guy. There are gifts, silver linings and blessings in disguise associated with people ghosting you.
💯 Facts. I was married for 23years. Ex cheated and I divorced him. Instead of apologizing he deflected and became defensive. I don't want closure from a liar. His actions did not match and that was evidence and closure enough for me.
A guy and I were really hitting it off. Flirting, saying we like each other, etc etc. I asked if we could try dating, but then he ghosted immediately. That really hurt.
Creeps, scared idiots. He did you a favour by ghosting sooner.
I can totally relate to this… why can’t guys just be forthright?! A lot of men just want to play the field sadly :(
I like to say you dodged a bullet because why play a game to our hearts to get in our pants??? Like Nah... I understand your pain I was once there. Honestly. The moment he probably thought yes but a lot of them don't really think what they are getting into until it becomes real to them, and then they ghost. Honestly, when men also play the love bomb tactic, it's rapey their behavior got nothing to do you or anyone hurt. Men some times can't be accountable. We can for ourselves and learn this lesson as a valuable experience because it will help you become wiser and know who you are
The timing is impeccable 🤧
😮💨💔
Same here! 😓😔
It's not just one person... this what make me think I'm not good enough for anyone
You're not the problem, they are!!
it's not about you it's about them
This doesn’t happen just to girls btw. I had a trip planned to see this girl after we had been talking for two months. All of the sudden she fucking blocks me with no explanation, after inferring that she wanted a relationship, and she didn’t even have the common courtesy to fucking tell me so I could get my money back ($1000 Hotel + Flight), luckily I put the pieces together and I got the $ back! Hurt like crazy, drove me kinda crazy for a little (I struggle with depression) but I’m so happy now, because I know that person was dishonest and cowardly (not things I want in a partner)
It’s been a month now and I’m finally starting to feel better and I’m talking to someone new, just got a promotion at work
I truly believe things happen for a reason, as hard as it is, keep your head up and move.
Easy come easy go is the mindset ti have dude. Been there myself. Believe it or not what's most frustrating is not the other person's inexcusable behaviors, but the questions of "did I handle this just right" in all situations. Too much too little, too strong too weak, too bold too passive. Fine tuning the balancing in dating people today is a real bitch.
It's so great when you guys participate in this and open up about your feelings and experiences. It helps us get a better perspective on things. I've been so hurt by men I just started believing you're incapable of having actual feelings. Thanks for helping me stay grounded and having more hope for the future.
This is exactly why I don't date any longer. At 42, divorced, and a single mom, I just don't get anything out of putting so energy into just "one person". It's just not worth it to me, especially after leaving an abusive marriage. I get way more out of my friendships, family, faith, and hobbies, then I ever have out of putting all my eggs into just one basket (a "romantic" relationship. Who cares if someone texts me back. Who cares if someone likes me or not. I care and love myself enough not to care about what just ONE person thinks of me. Ladies: you are ENOUGH. You don't need a man to complete you. You are already complete. You are enough as you are. You are whole. Don't look for a man to give you validation or reassurance, learn how to validate yourself.
Youre right that we shouldnt leave all other areas of our lives behind for men. But its a normal human desire to want a husband one day. Im 33 and stupid and just got ghosted today. I hope to be like you one day. Im hurt. Its been too many failures already. Im sad.
Being single is so calm & stress free. I ain't giving that up for any 🍆🤡
@@etcwhatever Do things that make you happy and keep busy. It's really that simple. If you isolate yourself, that azzhole who ghosted you will dominate your thoughts. Keep moving!!
This is beautiful🌹❤️ Just what I needed to hear after heartbreak💔 over someone who was not worth it. I am enough & always have been. But yet, I felt not enough & was devalued. He was a user. A Cluster B & highly Narcissistic. I've been Focusing on my life since. So much good things are happening, growth & abundance. Had to remove the toxic people from my life and life is better. Was hard for a while. But, you must get away from these people.
Being ghosted is so heartbreaking. Still crying now for 4 days. Everything was so perfect and suddenly he ignored me.
Closure is individual duty. Yes, yes, yes! Aside from that, dating and flirting are completely harmless if we listen what Matt suggests: "Watch their actions, unless, what they say is inconvenient to say, then believe their words." And it comes back to our ability to listen. Yeay! Another lesson for simpler love life. Thank you for this! 😃
i couldn’t understand what does he’s trying to say here?
As a guy who just gone through this situation, I completely agree with Matthew. The person you were attracted to may be sweet with their words, but see their actions. Look at the signs. If you ever get flaked on, ghosted, or rejected, start creating boundaries and standards for yourself. Know your values. Hope you all find love within yourselves!
Actions speak louder then words
Snaps to you Matthew!!!!! Thank You for this video. I refuse to allow someone to have that power over me again. Rejection is GOD’s Protection.
Always search for what you need in a partner. Not what you want. It will halve your choices.
Indeed!
This
Exactly right. Ppl suck , they lie because they don’t have the guts to be honest
The painful thing is when it started 150 % from his side- he was interested, investing, caring and he wanted new dates so fast. In the end he didnt wrote again on the day when we wanted to meet. He was the last to answer my message but he said we would speak again later before. I thought about what if he waited for me to write again but I know its not true. When I wrote again a few days later he didnt even read it.
I was ghosted a couple of weeks ago, and it still hurts like hell. I didn't try to contact him, I don't understand and I'll never will. I just want to stop the pain.
Fact of the matter IS you never know what's going in in someone else's head.
Cheers.
Christi 🇨🇦
I walked away and cut communication with a guy who was playing boyfriend but told me he didn’t want a relationship. It hurt like hell. But sometimes doing the right thing for yourself because you love yourself isn’t easy.
±2349154661736⏯⏯⏯⏯⏯⏯⏯
This is ....
Find someone who does and says right things and someone who adores you and is present
This is so true. I could basically care less if I ever get actual “closure” at this point.
The reality is the closure indeed : being unwanted
Thank you for this ❤
I’ve just been ghosted. It really hurts because I’m way too understanding, I get that life happens and people makes mistakes. But being ghosted, I just can’t understand (why???). Now I’m giving myself the closure I need ❤
I never thought of it that way. That they are people who don’t keep their word. Rejection is protection . The best thing I learned is that if someone says something to you believe them , And vice Versa.
you're lucky to have them out of your life!!
That's a gift.
🥰
Honestly he's so right about where the closure comes. Even with my Mom i needed to go No Contact with, i saw her again at my grandmother's funeral 7 years after i last saw her at all - and i got the confirmation that she was still someone I couldn't have in my life. Her siblings had to call the police to stop her making a scene at the funeral home. And when my mom died 3 years later it was easier because I had the sense of closure of knowing she really was still exactly who I knew she was and wasn't gonna change. I had processed that the mom i had who actually existed just wasn't someone who deserved to have me in her life, wasn't someone who would bring me anything but pain. I was retraumatized in the moment of her new actions at my grandmother's funeral but once i processed it, I felt the sense of closure.
The same thing is true about the guy who kept ghosting me, the guy who ghosted me as a way to breakup with me and then had the audacity 3 years later to want to get back together.
Believe uve emerged much stronger each time! God bless!
#Same life
#FEEL YOU💔💝
@@user-fs5jt8um9r Thanks 💛
I'm sorry about your Mom. I too have a very destructive mentally ill Mom that I keep a distance from. Thank you for writing this. It puts into words how I often times feel but cannot explain to others. I'm glad you got the closure you needed. I get mine from being the best Mom I can to my own children and never doing to them what was done to me. Thank you.
Same here. Thirty years later, I just feel sorry that she is the way she is. No hate, just sadness that she couldn't be a mother to me. I have an ex who still contacts me twelve years later after marrying someone younger. He is miserable but won't do anything about it. Not my problem, I recently cut him totally off, sick of mind games.
I was seeing someone for 2-3 months, hardly got to see them during that time, then the big Sydney lockdown happened. He ghosted basically as soon as we got out of lockdown after 4 months of talking everyday like long distance. I’m so mad honestly.
THEY GAVE YOU A GIFT!
(loved that part)
The disclaimer insight is spot on. Wow.
Love this! Someone once said to me, the best way to get closure on a situation (and my situation was probably one of the most complex ones you may have ever heard, I honestly wish I had simply been ghosted)….is to shut the door!
Pay attention to the the dissonance. If things aren't matching up, pay attention, and don't ignore them.
I was ghosted after a year, and we were engaged 20 yrs before. I’m floored.
Well said Matthew! A man that doesn’t mean what they say is not worthy! Let’s love ourselves first more than everybody else 🥰
Had a guy ghost me.... years later buddy seen me during this panademic and tryed talking to me and I brushed him off. He remembered me and i really dont care for him. Theres a reason why he dissappeared and there's a reason why he doesn't deserve my time!
Guys one thing promise me if the ghost ever comes back dont DONT ever go back
Ok ill spill my tea ,i got ghosted by the situationship i was in and obv the worst tjmes of my life
But then i took him back because i just needed his validation (guys they r ordinary people too who r just too immature of their actions yall r not lacking anywhere please) n he changed a bit afterwards(not exactly the ideal type)
I wasnt attached this time and i was fine if we just didn't hit off again.
Well then i ended things with him after a while cause i realized i could do better i mean he was good but why would i want him again after hes shown me his true colours once never shown up to his words
Now n then he messages me god knows why but ik im not gonna let him again into my life.
reason i learned after ghosted that never expect anything to anyone
Yes, thank you for reminding us that we need to give ourselves self-worth! And no one should take it away!
Agree. Closure is between you and your higher self not others.
The analogy you used about pharmaceutical companies’ disclaimers vastly helped me to understand communications had between me and men. I can not thank you enough Matthew!
I don't think people are waiting for closure....... they WANT the person, the relationship, they want it real, without the lies, gaslighting, ghosting. They had fun. They want things to change for the better. They want to hang on to the good........That's why you get those questions. Matthew....... they don't want to be left, unwanted... that is why they (we) try to find a crumb to hang on to....
I'm so excited my broken relationship has been restored my ex lover is back after he left me for another woman. I was helped by Dr Gabriel he can also help you out too.🌹🌷
Matthew always comes up with the best Analogies!
When you realize that closure comes from within, you are able to be in a place of power❤
Ghosting is closure...hold head up high...go forward...it is not love...they play games...
“This person showed you they weren’t who they said they were.”
so needed to hear this from a man right now thanku x i’ve been broken by a master manipulator
You’re so right! I married someone who lied and bragged about how he ghosted women after sleeping with them. He was the husband for hell. Got out after 6 months
Here is THE closure: in that person's mind, YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH for them.
They ARE NOT good enough for you !!!😊
I had all of these things just happen to me by the same person and I was left so unbelievably confused. Well confused and hurt no more. What a blessing this was. Timing was right on the money too. Thank you for all you do Matthew. This girl isn't spending another minute mourning what could have been. Nope instead I'm appreciative of what wasn't and all the time and heartache I was spared. That oddly has me less angry at him now and instead can just appreciate what was good about it for what little time it was. Time to move upward and onwards to better things and people who can see what he couldn't. Better days are here again 🎉
3 weeks sharp! He's just reached out.. You were right for the timing 👌But I've moved on😁. You're my rock! Love youuuuu! 😘