Definitely grounding, he’s also talking about EMDR therapy essentially so hot attractive women now doesn’t equal fight or flight. Makes a lot of sense and is killer advice.
@@chalybee8689 Perhaps it’s not grounding as you/we’ve had it explained, but it’s the same(or very similar) general concept explained neurochemically/neurologically.
I have a different approach. Don’t think of it as a date, think of it as a way to make a new friend with no expectations to see them again. It’s the expectations that we place on ourselves that make us tremble because we are trying to “perform” to reach a desired outcome.
Focus on yourself and what you're doing it takes your mind away from the situation and makes you aware so you can focus on it and relax (lets say you're breathing. If you focus on it you start to just naturally become more in tune with breathing normally rather than any other way)
Not sure that's what he meant. The best thing you can do on a date is to NOT focus solely on yourself & focus on him/her. Unless you want to go home alone, anyway.
Kinda how emdr works, neutralising the heightened stimuli. I always thought grounding was like an in the moment thing to cope to distract yourself with, but how Dr. K. Is explaining this now it sounds like rewriting!
The problem I tend to run into with any performance anxiety is that when I put my attention to the sensory organs my mind feels like it's trying to distract itself from what's truly important (performance) and it feels like I'm trying to swim against the current.
You won’t feel nervous around someone who’s yours (if it’s off then its off) so don’t try to waste your time and efforts making the other pieces of the puzzle fit or make it work. If “your two’s call” is pulling together spiritually, heartily, mentally, physically, materialistically, and socially keep going or don’t waste each others’ time and energy unless you leave everyone better than you met them . Your relationship will be blessed in a state of flow in all aspects mentioned AND you don’t have to fight for what’s yours because it’s yours.
honestly lovee this haha so cute! just phrase it like this or another complimentary way and i think most people would be flattered. a while ago i went out on a first date with a guy, and while i was talking about something he stopped me for a second and nervously said “i’m sorry if i stare a lot, it’s because i’m just… enchanted by you.” and i thought that was so sweet, nobody had ever said that to me m, so i loved it
It goes well but you need to read the room a bit. There is an atmosphere where the person is enchanted by you, so I notice I'm just a bit anxious but also excited. And the window kind of closes where you have to make a move as a man, cuz women rarely do. So I just talk talk talk, and if the lady is still here and seems to look smiling, then I will get my honesty and tell her how I feel. "Oops I'm talking and talking, it's when I'm nervous, you keep looking at me and it's very attractive and....... I can't think super straight haha" while maintaining eye contact (that's your chance, own it). Then or the lady will continue to stay and then you have to go for something. Hold her hand, kiss her. One time I literally told her "... But if you continue to look at me like that, I'm gonna kiss you", and I did lol. She says she was really impressed and cute that I braved my nervousity. We dated a bit. Another time I made a move and the lady was mad, but thought I was touching still. We are still friends. Unfortunately, you have to make a move. Being honest like that is who I am and what works for me. Some men are crude and it works for them. Every woman is different too, so you have to try and see what works for you. Find and practice your style. But you have to overcome your fear. It's like being in a stage in front of a crowd the first time, you are scared. But eventually, you know you will be able to do your act, even if deep down, you are still scared. Good luck guys! PS : sometimes I would chicken out lol. I don't try every time. But you have to go out to try !
So basically doing the same thing as you would during an intrusive traumatic flashback? As in acknowledging that you’re in the preset and focus on something (like one’s breathing) to prevent the mind/nervous system from taking over?
Learning how to FOCUSE takes Self Awareness. That's The trick i use to brake out of small seizure. / It gives me + about 15 to 30 seconds to hide if it's anything BIG. - Calm Down, FOCUSE, Direction, Is there a please to Hide?
also, do away woth traditional first dates. forget coffee, forget dinner. Go somewhere fun with something to do. You don't have to get to know them that well on the first date. Go mini golfing. bowling. Carnival etc
If a man ever looks at me and immediately hyper-focuses on his glass or takes meditative breaths, I'll remember this video and wonder if that's what he's doing
I wonder if this explains part of the mentality of social smoking. If you're focusing on lighting up, asking for a lighter or the action of smoking itself does it just take a bit of the edge off. Plus nicotine and other chemicals themselves
Thanks for the breakdown! I have a quick question: I have a SafePal wallet with USDT, and I have the seed phrase. (mistake turkey blossom warfare blade until bachelor fall squeeze today flee guitar). Could you explain how to move them to Binance?
I always called it googly eyes. It’s so very strange that feeling but it’s also very strange to be on the receiving end of it. Glad to know it’s not sexual.
@@tykeandjonsieshow3595 thank you so much for writing back, I really appreciate it, will try to follow the advice 😊✨ English is not my first language so along with anxiousness I also struggle with the language which causes stuttering or filler words and in the end I happen to lose confidence and feel like I just want it to get over and get out of the place and away from being judged😕😶
I call It diving into the thing. I increasingly let myself be flooded by this and then I surf it. If there's a part of me that wants to flee or scream AAAAAAAA, I put my effort in listening to it
I just assume I'm not getting laid and so the date is just hanging out with a new friend and seeing if you vibe or actually can't stand this person. There have been plenty of women I found physically attractive until they opened their mouth. But the opposite is also true. I have a friend who I've never been attracted to, physically or personality fit wise, except for one moment when I learned that she really hustled before and during the pandemic and had paid off off a $300k mortgage within 4 years before she was 30. There was an immediate RUSH of attraction to how much she had her shit together. It did pass when I reminded myself that I'm not physically attracted to her, that she is far too ambitious for my lazy personality, that I ultimately don't want children, but for a moment my body was like ... We should make a baby with this woman.
You are supposed to be nervous on a first date, or on wedding day, or on leaving the reception and leaving your whole life behind, or the birth of a child..... It's normative behavior.
“When a man and woman are alone, the third is devil” is a saying from the Prophet Muhammad (SW) that refers to the idea that devil tempts people to commit sins. A man and woman must be alone only after marriage. Old orthodox values, still keeping families strong and spouces loyal to each other.
Not really the divorce rate in marriages is near 50% and many who stay in marriages are miserable only staying for financial reasons or the kids. You can be committed to one another without it being legally binding. Myself & my fiance have a son & have been together ten years; meanwhile his dad has been married 5 times one of which lasted a week with kids to 3 different wives. Marriage ain't what it's cracked up to be. Loyalty has nothing to do with marriage.
Grounding is what he’s talking about. Works with any anxiety
Thats not was grounding is but ok.
@@chalybee8689 can you explain grounding how you understand it?
Definitely grounding, he’s also talking about EMDR therapy essentially so hot attractive women now doesn’t equal fight or flight. Makes a lot of sense and is killer advice.
@@chalybee8689 Perhaps it’s not grounding as you/we’ve had it explained, but it’s the same(or very similar) general concept explained neurochemically/neurologically.
Basically - don't go in to fight or flight mode.
Instructions unclear. I exposed myself to the stimulus and now i’m in jail. Pls send help
😂😂
Hey lawbymike? We got a case for ya here
Better call Saul as soon as possible
I need to take doctor K on my date, just in case I forget to remember this.
wouldnt it be better if your date were doctor k?
@@horotls77 Mrs. K might have some objections to that one.
A double date Bro. Solid idea.
@@HealthyGamerGG overruled, you will now acompany bro on dates
I have a different approach. Don’t think of it as a date, think of it as a way to make a new friend with no expectations to see them again.
It’s the expectations that we place on ourselves that make us tremble because we are trying to “perform” to reach a desired outcome.
I love the imitation of what we feel when we're freaking out. 10 out of 10, Doctor K.
You get WHAT DR K
Limp Dr K
Look we're just here to tell it like it is
I feel like I have been summoned...
@@LimpBreadstick 😂😂
@@HealthyGamerGG😂😂
I loved the addition of traditional indian dance while teaching us something new
❤❤
Focus on yourself and what you're doing it takes your mind away from the situation and makes you aware so you can focus on it and relax (lets say you're breathing. If you focus on it you start to just naturally become more in tune with breathing normally rather than any other way)
"Let‘s say you‘re breathing" can‘t relate, give me another example
Not sure that's what he meant. The best thing you can do on a date is to NOT focus solely on yourself & focus on him/her. Unless you want to go home alone, anyway.
Kinda how emdr works, neutralising the heightened stimuli. I always thought grounding was like an in the moment thing to cope to distract yourself with, but how Dr. K. Is explaining this now it sounds like rewriting!
The problem I tend to run into with any performance anxiety is that when I put my attention to the sensory organs my mind feels like it's trying to distract itself from what's truly important (performance) and it feels like I'm trying to swim against the current.
The consequences of this are usually the opposite of the intention of this exercise, being a lack of mindfulness and poor flow-state.
My question is _why_ do our bodies send us such over the top signals?
Because it is beautiful 🥰😍
Motivation
For survival reasons- it's what kept our species going
Facts on a stack so annoying
It's not over the top; lizard brain just be like that. The point of this video is to accept it and redirect it.
Wow this is fantastic advice
THANK YOU DR K!!!
This is good. Found myself doing it the other week on a date. It works.
Yes Dr. K I always tend to expose myself quite often 😂😂😂
You've uploaded this video while I was on my date. Needed it one hour earlier doc!😂
I did secure the 2nd date though 😉😊
Thank You 🙏
You won’t feel nervous around someone who’s yours (if it’s off then its off) so don’t try to waste your time and efforts making the other pieces of the puzzle fit or make it work. If “your two’s call” is pulling together spiritually, heartily, mentally, physically, materialistically, and socially keep going or don’t waste each others’ time and energy unless you leave everyone better than you met them . Your relationship will be blessed in a state of flow in all aspects mentioned AND you don’t have to fight for what’s yours because it’s yours.
Expose myself. Check! 😂😂😂😂
Great stuff
What is this "date" thing you speak of?
That thumbnail at the end is peak Dr K
I have an interview so I'm watching this to prepare lol
I love being excited from an attractive person!
I let them know haha
"I can't focus you are so my style, I can't think straight haha"
Don't they leave you after that?
genuinely curious, does this go well?
honestly lovee this haha so cute! just phrase it like this or another complimentary way and i think most people would be flattered.
a while ago i went out on a first date with a guy, and while i was talking about something he stopped me for a second and nervously said “i’m sorry if i stare a lot, it’s because i’m just… enchanted by you.” and i thought that was so sweet, nobody had ever said that to me m, so i loved it
It goes well but you need to read the room a bit.
There is an atmosphere where the person is enchanted by you, so I notice I'm just a bit anxious but also excited. And the window kind of closes where you have to make a move as a man, cuz women rarely do.
So I just talk talk talk, and if the lady is still here and seems to look smiling, then I will get my honesty and tell her how I feel.
"Oops I'm talking and talking, it's when I'm nervous, you keep looking at me and it's very attractive and....... I can't think super straight haha" while maintaining eye contact (that's your chance, own it).
Then or the lady will continue to stay and then you have to go for something. Hold her hand, kiss her. One time I literally told her "... But if you continue to look at me like that, I'm gonna kiss you", and I did lol. She says she was really impressed and cute that I braved my nervousity. We dated a bit.
Another time I made a move and the lady was mad, but thought I was touching still. We are still friends.
Unfortunately, you have to make a move. Being honest like that is who I am and what works for me.
Some men are crude and it works for them. Every woman is different too, so you have to try and see what works for you.
Find and practice your style. But you have to overcome your fear.
It's like being in a stage in front of a crowd the first time, you are scared. But eventually, you know you will be able to do your act, even if deep down, you are still scared.
Good luck guys!
PS : sometimes I would chicken out lol. I don't try every time. But you have to go out to try !
@@paulv2348 “…I can’t think straight haha” maybe you’re not straight? Don’t force it 😂
Pretty good; I don’t know if anyone untrained in Psychology would ever think of that!
And they ask me "so what you think about it?" and I'm gonna stare at them because I was feeling the temperature changing
Sometimes my mind seems alright and excited, talking normal while my body is going panic mode shaking, sweating etc.
So basically doing the same thing as you would during an intrusive traumatic flashback?
As in acknowledging that you’re in the preset and focus on something (like one’s breathing) to prevent the mind/nervous system from taking over?
Never gonna get a date so don't have to worry about this
Sounds like meditation with extra steps
😂😂 your awesome!!
Instructions unclear, they put handcuffs on me.
Thanks instead of nerves i now feel rocket takeoffs
😂😂😂
But actually good advice. I will try it out.
Phrasing!!! 😂
Good thing he explained that you don’t actually expose yourself. 😂
Learning how to FOCUSE takes Self Awareness. That's The trick i use to brake out of small seizure. / It gives me + about 15 to 30 seconds to hide if it's anything BIG. - Calm Down, FOCUSE, Direction, Is there a please to Hide?
How do your small seizures work? I've only had 1 where I was still conscious and aware. The rest were blackouts.
also, do away woth traditional first dates. forget coffee, forget dinner. Go somewhere fun with something to do. You don't have to get to know them that well on the first date. Go mini golfing. bowling. Carnival etc
EXPOSE TO THE STIMULUS!
NOT LIKE THAT-
The Expose 😂
If a man ever looks at me and immediately hyper-focuses on his glass or takes meditative breaths, I'll remember this video and wonder if that's what he's doing
On my first date with my wife, I had at that point stopped trying too hard, even told some disgusting jokes. Now she's my wife.
Instructions unclear, plunged my hands into boiling water and still can't get it up
Why? It is really charming. You know there is something there, when someone gets nervous. I would not necessarily take that sign away.
Hmm. I was feeling a lot of anxiety and depression. I started combing through my hair with my fingers. Somehow I think it helped.
Does anyone know where can I find the full video? 🥺🙏🏼
I wonder if this explains part of the mentality of social smoking. If you're focusing on lighting up, asking for a lighter or the action of smoking itself does it just take a bit of the edge off. Plus nicotine and other chemicals themselves
Thanks for the breakdown! I have a quick question: I have a SafePal wallet with USDT, and I have the seed phrase. (mistake turkey blossom warfare blade until bachelor fall squeeze today flee guitar). Could you explain how to move them to Binance?
So… distract yourself with something that’s not super distracting at the same time so that you still know what’s going on
I always called it googly eyes. It’s so very strange that feeling but it’s also very strange to be on the receiving end of it. Glad to know it’s not sexual.
🤪
"How to not be Nervous during an interview" please 🙏🥺
"Date" is hypothetical situation 😢
Just take this same advice and apply it to an interview. Simple. It's the same concept.
@@tykeandjonsieshow3595 thank you so much for writing back, I really appreciate it, will try to follow the advice 😊✨
English is not my first language so along with anxiousness I also struggle with the language which causes stuttering or filler words and in the end I happen to lose confidence and feel like I just want it to get over and get out of the place and away from being judged😕😶
So I just have to give myself tge "You breathe/blink manually now." curse? xD
Could you please explain the phenomenon of "affection erections"?
Get it😊
I have a better solution:
Meditate daily at least 20min per day for 2 weeks, even less will make you relaxed asf in any situation.
Oh god. I'm in love with Faker.
I call It diving into the thing.
I increasingly let myself be flooded by this and then I surf it.
If there's a part of me that wants to flee or scream AAAAAAAA, I put my effort in listening to it
Somatic dual awareness
I just assume I'm not getting laid and so the date is just hanging out with a new friend and seeing if you vibe or actually can't stand this person.
There have been plenty of women I found physically attractive until they opened their mouth.
But the opposite is also true.
I have a friend who I've never been attracted to, physically or personality fit wise, except for one moment when I learned that she really hustled before and during the pandemic and had paid off off a $300k mortgage within 4 years before she was 30.
There was an immediate RUSH of attraction to how much she had her shit together.
It did pass when I reminded myself that I'm not physically attracted to her, that she is far too ambitious for my lazy personality, that I ultimately don't want children, but for a moment my body was like ... We should make a baby with this woman.
"You're so gorgeous, I can't say anything to your face" - Taylor Swift
Okay Drk next time i see an attractive person ill expose myself! I dont think its a good idea but im not a pro
I never get slightly nervous around attractive women. I guess that's a good thing.
Long story short just be in the moment
Can i do this for every type of nervous?
I think so. Sounds like a grounding technique.
Don't hold your wine with both hands it will go Off the heat from your hands 😝😝
You are supposed to be nervous on a first date, or on wedding day, or on leaving the reception and leaving your whole life behind, or the birth of a child..... It's normative behavior.
Just think of teletubbies
Why the hell is this called Healthy Gamer?
I plan to this year start dating my friend's mom, so i may one day oficially become his father
It's unfair how Dr k wants anxious boys too get the girls but not is anxious girls to get dates
C'mon Alok sir do something
People feel like that when they see someone hot?
IRL only
@MudroZvon never in my life
What about women?
Pop psychology is getting more nonsensical by the day
This sounds like trying really hard not to crush on someone but failing miserably
😊
1.Concentrate on the most sensory organ
2. Stimulate it
3. Expose yourself
LOL
😂
😂😂😂❤
Limp bizkit
“When a man and woman are alone, the third is devil” is a saying from the Prophet Muhammad (SW) that refers to the idea that devil tempts people to commit sins.
A man and woman must be alone only after marriage. Old orthodox values, still keeping families strong and spouces loyal to each other.
Not really the divorce rate in marriages is near 50% and many who stay in marriages are miserable only staying for financial reasons or the kids. You can be committed to one another without it being legally binding. Myself & my fiance have a son & have been together ten years; meanwhile his dad has been married 5 times one of which lasted a week with kids to 3 different wives. Marriage ain't what it's cracked up to be. Loyalty has nothing to do with marriage.