How To Not Be Nervous On A Date

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  • Опубликовано: 14 янв 2025

Комментарии • 137

  • @airplanetowardsthesky3265
    @airplanetowardsthesky3265 4 дня назад +1097

    Grounding is what he’s talking about. Works with any anxiety

    • @chalybee8689
      @chalybee8689 4 дня назад +5

      Thats not was grounding is but ok.

    • @Anoukh
      @Anoukh 3 дня назад +7

      @@chalybee8689 can you explain grounding how you understand it?

    • @bentosan
      @bentosan 3 дня назад +15

      Definitely grounding, he’s also talking about EMDR therapy essentially so hot attractive women now doesn’t equal fight or flight. Makes a lot of sense and is killer advice.

    • @samo9275
      @samo9275 2 дня назад +1

      @@chalybee8689 Perhaps it’s not grounding as you/we’ve had it explained, but it’s the same(or very similar) general concept explained neurochemically/neurologically.

    • @factorfitness3713
      @factorfitness3713 2 дня назад +1

      Basically - don't go in to fight or flight mode.

  • @JRemy-rs9zk
    @JRemy-rs9zk 4 дня назад +854

    Instructions unclear. I exposed myself to the stimulus and now i’m in jail. Pls send help

  • @montyi8
    @montyi8 4 дня назад +338

    I need to take doctor K on my date, just in case I forget to remember this.

    • @horotls77
      @horotls77 4 дня назад +42

      wouldnt it be better if your date were doctor k?

    • @HealthyGamerGG
      @HealthyGamerGG  4 дня назад +215

      ​@@horotls77 Mrs. K might have some objections to that one.

    • @aland7236
      @aland7236 4 дня назад +23

      A double date Bro. Solid idea.

    • @internaut4257
      @internaut4257 4 дня назад +23

      @@HealthyGamerGG overruled, you will now acompany bro on dates

  • @TravisPluss
    @TravisPluss 14 часов назад +2

    I have a different approach. Don’t think of it as a date, think of it as a way to make a new friend with no expectations to see them again.
    It’s the expectations that we place on ourselves that make us tremble because we are trying to “perform” to reach a desired outcome.

  • @lisahinton9682
    @lisahinton9682 3 дня назад +57

    I love the imitation of what we feel when we're freaking out. 10 out of 10, Doctor K.

  • @EmptyHavok
    @EmptyHavok 4 дня назад +493

    You get WHAT DR K

  • @veronika7604
    @veronika7604 3 дня назад +12

    I loved the addition of traditional indian dance while teaching us something new
    ❤❤

  • @exiledtobronze8694
    @exiledtobronze8694 4 дня назад +13

    Focus on yourself and what you're doing it takes your mind away from the situation and makes you aware so you can focus on it and relax (lets say you're breathing. If you focus on it you start to just naturally become more in tune with breathing normally rather than any other way)

    • @maestro3887
      @maestro3887 3 дня назад +3

      "Let‘s say you‘re breathing" can‘t relate, give me another example

    • @ThatKa5p3r
      @ThatKa5p3r День назад

      Not sure that's what he meant. The best thing you can do on a date is to NOT focus solely on yourself & focus on him/her. Unless you want to go home alone, anyway.

  • @Fururu333
    @Fururu333 4 дня назад +17

    Kinda how emdr works, neutralising the heightened stimuli. I always thought grounding was like an in the moment thing to cope to distract yourself with, but how Dr. K. Is explaining this now it sounds like rewriting!

  • @bangojetty
    @bangojetty 3 дня назад +7

    The problem I tend to run into with any performance anxiety is that when I put my attention to the sensory organs my mind feels like it's trying to distract itself from what's truly important (performance) and it feels like I'm trying to swim against the current.

    • @bangojetty
      @bangojetty 3 дня назад +1

      The consequences of this are usually the opposite of the intention of this exercise, being a lack of mindfulness and poor flow-state.

  • @theinacircleoftheancientpu492
    @theinacircleoftheancientpu492 4 дня назад +137

    My question is _why_ do our bodies send us such over the top signals?

    • @nils_skycloud
      @nils_skycloud 4 дня назад +22

      Because it is beautiful 🥰😍

    • @bluebutterfly5062
      @bluebutterfly5062 4 дня назад +8

      Motivation

    • @brighamhawkins6772
      @brighamhawkins6772 4 дня назад +37

      For survival reasons- it's what kept our species going

    • @bulmaandvegetaa
      @bulmaandvegetaa 4 дня назад +3

      Facts on a stack so annoying

    • @wreagfe
      @wreagfe 4 дня назад +12

      It's not over the top; lizard brain just be like that. The point of this video is to accept it and redirect it.

  • @quattroclub
    @quattroclub День назад

    Wow this is fantastic advice

  • @bulmaandvegetaa
    @bulmaandvegetaa 4 дня назад +3

    THANK YOU DR K!!!

  • @chrismackerdush7728
    @chrismackerdush7728 День назад

    This is good. Found myself doing it the other week on a date. It works.

  • @Anonymous-kl6rz
    @Anonymous-kl6rz 2 дня назад +1

    Yes Dr. K I always tend to expose myself quite often 😂😂😂

  • @bjorn6956
    @bjorn6956 День назад

    You've uploaded this video while I was on my date. Needed it one hour earlier doc!😂
    I did secure the 2nd date though 😉😊

  • @hermanchaves6723
    @hermanchaves6723 4 дня назад +2

    Thank You 🙏

  • @AliIbrahim-bt3lk
    @AliIbrahim-bt3lk 4 дня назад +8

    You won’t feel nervous around someone who’s yours (if it’s off then its off) so don’t try to waste your time and efforts making the other pieces of the puzzle fit or make it work. If “your two’s call” is pulling together spiritually, heartily, mentally, physically, materialistically, and socially keep going or don’t waste each others’ time and energy unless you leave everyone better than you met them . Your relationship will be blessed in a state of flow in all aspects mentioned AND you don’t have to fight for what’s yours because it’s yours.

  • @paulfsweatt4948
    @paulfsweatt4948 3 дня назад +3

    Expose myself. Check! 😂😂😂😂

  • @thecurrentmoment
    @thecurrentmoment 4 дня назад +2

    Great stuff

  • @mathius_dragoon532
    @mathius_dragoon532 4 дня назад +17

    What is this "date" thing you speak of?

  • @bonweech3346
    @bonweech3346 7 часов назад

    That thumbnail at the end is peak Dr K

  • @euniiieee
    @euniiieee 4 дня назад +5

    I have an interview so I'm watching this to prepare lol

  • @paulv2348
    @paulv2348 4 дня назад +22

    I love being excited from an attractive person!
    I let them know haha
    "I can't focus you are so my style, I can't think straight haha"

    • @bulmaandvegetaa
      @bulmaandvegetaa 4 дня назад

      Don't they leave you after that?

    • @PhaseMe
      @PhaseMe 4 дня назад +2

      genuinely curious, does this go well?

    • @lovesmaiko
      @lovesmaiko 4 дня назад +11

      honestly lovee this haha so cute! just phrase it like this or another complimentary way and i think most people would be flattered.
      a while ago i went out on a first date with a guy, and while i was talking about something he stopped me for a second and nervously said “i’m sorry if i stare a lot, it’s because i’m just… enchanted by you.” and i thought that was so sweet, nobody had ever said that to me m, so i loved it

    • @paulv2348
      @paulv2348 4 дня назад +8

      It goes well but you need to read the room a bit.
      There is an atmosphere where the person is enchanted by you, so I notice I'm just a bit anxious but also excited. And the window kind of closes where you have to make a move as a man, cuz women rarely do.
      So I just talk talk talk, and if the lady is still here and seems to look smiling, then I will get my honesty and tell her how I feel.
      "Oops I'm talking and talking, it's when I'm nervous, you keep looking at me and it's very attractive and....... I can't think super straight haha" while maintaining eye contact (that's your chance, own it).
      Then or the lady will continue to stay and then you have to go for something. Hold her hand, kiss her. One time I literally told her "... But if you continue to look at me like that, I'm gonna kiss you", and I did lol. She says she was really impressed and cute that I braved my nervousity. We dated a bit.
      Another time I made a move and the lady was mad, but thought I was touching still. We are still friends.
      Unfortunately, you have to make a move. Being honest like that is who I am and what works for me.
      Some men are crude and it works for them. Every woman is different too, so you have to try and see what works for you.
      Find and practice your style. But you have to overcome your fear.
      It's like being in a stage in front of a crowd the first time, you are scared. But eventually, you know you will be able to do your act, even if deep down, you are still scared.
      Good luck guys!
      PS : sometimes I would chicken out lol. I don't try every time. But you have to go out to try !

    • @soberanisfam1323
      @soberanisfam1323 3 дня назад

      @@paulv2348 “…I can’t think straight haha” maybe you’re not straight? Don’t force it 😂

  • @antonydrossos5719
    @antonydrossos5719 3 дня назад +3

    Pretty good; I don’t know if anyone untrained in Psychology would ever think of that!

  • @MoussakaChaos94
    @MoussakaChaos94 День назад

    And they ask me "so what you think about it?" and I'm gonna stare at them because I was feeling the temperature changing

  • @fillipe4700
    @fillipe4700 4 дня назад +4

    Sometimes my mind seems alright and excited, talking normal while my body is going panic mode shaking, sweating etc.

  • @burningwithin8287
    @burningwithin8287 4 дня назад +4

    So basically doing the same thing as you would during an intrusive traumatic flashback?
    As in acknowledging that you’re in the preset and focus on something (like one’s breathing) to prevent the mind/nervous system from taking over?

  • @kevinlification
    @kevinlification 4 дня назад +3

    Never gonna get a date so don't have to worry about this

  • @FortniteJoe123
    @FortniteJoe123 3 дня назад +1

    Sounds like meditation with extra steps

  • @fawnbornstein8211
    @fawnbornstein8211 13 часов назад

    😂😂 your awesome!!

  • @dampintellect
    @dampintellect 3 дня назад

    Instructions unclear, they put handcuffs on me.

  • @deathbombs
    @deathbombs 4 дня назад +8

    Thanks instead of nerves i now feel rocket takeoffs

  • @aellalee4767
    @aellalee4767 4 дня назад +8

    😂😂😂
    But actually good advice. I will try it out.

  • @jeffreysherman8224
    @jeffreysherman8224 2 дня назад

    Phrasing!!! 😂

  • @annaburns2865
    @annaburns2865 3 дня назад

    Good thing he explained that you don’t actually expose yourself. 😂

  • @beginnersguide4556
    @beginnersguide4556 4 дня назад +3

    Learning how to FOCUSE takes Self Awareness. That's The trick i use to brake out of small seizure. / It gives me + about 15 to 30 seconds to hide if it's anything BIG. - Calm Down, FOCUSE, Direction, Is there a please to Hide?

    • @frankkennedy6388
      @frankkennedy6388 3 дня назад

      How do your small seizures work? I've only had 1 where I was still conscious and aware. The rest were blackouts.

  • @FoxoticTV
    @FoxoticTV 3 дня назад

    also, do away woth traditional first dates. forget coffee, forget dinner. Go somewhere fun with something to do. You don't have to get to know them that well on the first date. Go mini golfing. bowling. Carnival etc

  • @spookyscarygraviton5944
    @spookyscarygraviton5944 4 дня назад +15

    EXPOSE TO THE STIMULUS!

  • @Intrinsic16
    @Intrinsic16 День назад

    The Expose 😂

  • @defnekolay7496
    @defnekolay7496 3 дня назад

    If a man ever looks at me and immediately hyper-focuses on his glass or takes meditative breaths, I'll remember this video and wonder if that's what he's doing

  • @justaguy9451
    @justaguy9451 22 часа назад

    On my first date with my wife, I had at that point stopped trying too hard, even told some disgusting jokes. Now she's my wife.

  • @gigalulmansur
    @gigalulmansur 3 дня назад

    Instructions unclear, plunged my hands into boiling water and still can't get it up

  • @SigMaQuint
    @SigMaQuint 3 дня назад

    Why? It is really charming. You know there is something there, when someone gets nervous. I would not necessarily take that sign away.

  • @anyascelticcreations
    @anyascelticcreations 4 дня назад +1

    Hmm. I was feeling a lot of anxiety and depression. I started combing through my hair with my fingers. Somehow I think it helped.

  • @carlospegueros7124
    @carlospegueros7124 2 дня назад

    Does anyone know where can I find the full video? 🥺🙏🏼

  • @jazzgeary2339
    @jazzgeary2339 4 дня назад

    I wonder if this explains part of the mentality of social smoking. If you're focusing on lighting up, asking for a lighter or the action of smoking itself does it just take a bit of the edge off. Plus nicotine and other chemicals themselves

  • @JenniferObana-w5v
    @JenniferObana-w5v 11 часов назад

    Thanks for the breakdown! I have a quick question: I have a SafePal wallet with USDT, and I have the seed phrase. (mistake turkey blossom warfare blade until bachelor fall squeeze today flee guitar). Could you explain how to move them to Binance?

  • @Pizzatime42008
    @Pizzatime42008 3 дня назад

    So… distract yourself with something that’s not super distracting at the same time so that you still know what’s going on

  • @AnnaTortorelli
    @AnnaTortorelli 4 дня назад +1

    I always called it googly eyes. It’s so very strange that feeling but it’s also very strange to be on the receiving end of it. Glad to know it’s not sexual.

  • @c.wredacted2589
    @c.wredacted2589 3 дня назад

    "How to not be Nervous during an interview" please 🙏🥺
    "Date" is hypothetical situation 😢

    • @tykeandjonsieshow3595
      @tykeandjonsieshow3595 3 дня назад

      Just take this same advice and apply it to an interview. Simple. It's the same concept.

    • @c.wredacted2589
      @c.wredacted2589 3 дня назад

      ​@@tykeandjonsieshow3595 thank you so much for writing back, I really appreciate it, will try to follow the advice 😊✨
      English is not my first language so along with anxiousness I also struggle with the language which causes stuttering or filler words and in the end I happen to lose confidence and feel like I just want it to get over and get out of the place and away from being judged😕😶

  • @ardynizunia9709
    @ardynizunia9709 3 дня назад

    So I just have to give myself tge "You breathe/blink manually now." curse? xD

  • @hamsterdoom360
    @hamsterdoom360 4 дня назад +5

    Could you please explain the phenomenon of "affection erections"?

  • @Palak9012
    @Palak9012 3 дня назад

    Get it😊

  • @ruin1619
    @ruin1619 3 дня назад

    I have a better solution:
    Meditate daily at least 20min per day for 2 weeks, even less will make you relaxed asf in any situation.

  • @teddydubois5491
    @teddydubois5491 3 дня назад

    Oh god. I'm in love with Faker.

  • @lucaferlisi2486
    @lucaferlisi2486 3 дня назад

    I call It diving into the thing.
    I increasingly let myself be flooded by this and then I surf it.
    If there's a part of me that wants to flee or scream AAAAAAAA, I put my effort in listening to it

  • @jonthompson1068
    @jonthompson1068 4 дня назад

    Somatic dual awareness

  • @sethsevaroth
    @sethsevaroth 2 дня назад

    I just assume I'm not getting laid and so the date is just hanging out with a new friend and seeing if you vibe or actually can't stand this person.
    There have been plenty of women I found physically attractive until they opened their mouth.
    But the opposite is also true.
    I have a friend who I've never been attracted to, physically or personality fit wise, except for one moment when I learned that she really hustled before and during the pandemic and had paid off off a $300k mortgage within 4 years before she was 30.
    There was an immediate RUSH of attraction to how much she had her shit together.
    It did pass when I reminded myself that I'm not physically attracted to her, that she is far too ambitious for my lazy personality, that I ultimately don't want children, but for a moment my body was like ... We should make a baby with this woman.

  • @claudiabcarvalho
    @claudiabcarvalho 2 дня назад

    "You're so gorgeous, I can't say anything to your face" - Taylor Swift

  • @PhoenixPlayer404
    @PhoenixPlayer404 4 дня назад +1

    Okay Drk next time i see an attractive person ill expose myself! I dont think its a good idea but im not a pro

  • @peronomuchannel
    @peronomuchannel 3 дня назад

    I never get slightly nervous around attractive women. I guess that's a good thing.

  • @moshedvir6240
    @moshedvir6240 3 дня назад

    Long story short just be in the moment

  • @falvoure
    @falvoure 3 дня назад

    Can i do this for every type of nervous?

    • @kewoshk
      @kewoshk 3 дня назад

      I think so. Sounds like a grounding technique.

  • @taniavankordenoordt3929
    @taniavankordenoordt3929 4 дня назад

    Don't hold your wine with both hands it will go Off the heat from your hands 😝😝

  • @rutha1464
    @rutha1464 3 дня назад

    You are supposed to be nervous on a first date, or on wedding day, or on leaving the reception and leaving your whole life behind, or the birth of a child..... It's normative behavior.

  • @GabrielHernandez-hj1iz
    @GabrielHernandez-hj1iz 3 дня назад

    Just think of teletubbies

  • @Mr.Honest247
    @Mr.Honest247 4 дня назад

    Why the hell is this called Healthy Gamer?

  • @Gorilamúsico
    @Gorilamúsico 4 дня назад

    I plan to this year start dating my friend's mom, so i may one day oficially become his father

  • @Billchill40007
    @Billchill40007 13 часов назад

    It's unfair how Dr k wants anxious boys too get the girls but not is anxious girls to get dates
    C'mon Alok sir do something

  • @levailnaik962
    @levailnaik962 3 дня назад

    People feel like that when they see someone hot?

  • @RavenVapor873
    @RavenVapor873 4 дня назад

    What about women?

  • @Dbm7b5-p7y
    @Dbm7b5-p7y 2 дня назад

    Pop psychology is getting more nonsensical by the day

  • @thisisntallowed9560
    @thisisntallowed9560 3 дня назад +1

    This sounds like trying really hard not to crush on someone but failing miserably

  • @adityajadhav6319
    @adityajadhav6319 4 дня назад

    😊

  • @MudroZvon
    @MudroZvon День назад +2

    1.Concentrate on the most sensory organ
    2. Stimulate it
    3. Expose yourself

  • @EdgePilgrim
    @EdgePilgrim 3 дня назад

    LOL

  • @IxLxx-t3v
    @IxLxx-t3v 3 дня назад

    😂

  • @paulletathornhill1042
    @paulletathornhill1042 4 дня назад +1

    😂😂😂❤

  • @GavinkyleXD
    @GavinkyleXD 4 дня назад

    Limp bizkit

  • @nidashaikh012
    @nidashaikh012 4 дня назад +1

    “When a man and woman are alone, the third is devil” is a saying from the Prophet Muhammad (SW) that refers to the idea that devil tempts people to commit sins.
    A man and woman must be alone only after marriage. Old orthodox values, still keeping families strong and spouces loyal to each other.

    • @AnyaAnnika67
      @AnyaAnnika67 3 дня назад

      Not really the divorce rate in marriages is near 50% and many who stay in marriages are miserable only staying for financial reasons or the kids. You can be committed to one another without it being legally binding. Myself & my fiance have a son & have been together ten years; meanwhile his dad has been married 5 times one of which lasted a week with kids to 3 different wives. Marriage ain't what it's cracked up to be. Loyalty has nothing to do with marriage.