Stuff like this is primarily why I subscribe to Josh.He's like the big brother that a lot of people never had coming in with those clutch life lessons.
Without being an incel or manosphere asshole about it. He’s just real with actual advice based on self reflection rather than hating women or foreigners
@@crowman2702Im getting flashbacks to being a child and my laptop being stolen for drug money, and getting my mum's help to track down the cex shop it was pawned to and getting it back. My older brother has been clean for years now, but I cant so much as think about him without that being the baseline of our relationship
Incredible advice. As someone with ADHD and always struggled with speaking, what helped me was just slowing down and realizing there is no rush at all. Now I yap for hours managing to articulate myself in a meaningful way
I do this now too. Grew up with ADHD and, even though I took meds, I realized I could just slow down my speech without there being anything wrong. It also allowed me to train my own word filters and take a step back from those impulses. Sometimes it's just a simple "wait, do I even need to bring this up?" question in my head while talking.
I've always paused in the middle of speech, I used to call it a brain stutter. When I did my TV training course, we had communication training (which was more like group therapy honestly). During that, I spoke about my issues communicating verbally, that I sometimes pause in the middle of my speech. The trainer told me that I was wrong about what I thought of my communication. She said that me pausing isn't a negative, it's me processing the information and trying to think about what I'm saying before I say it. And then she said that she wishes more people would do that. Genuinely never felt such a positive affirmation for my communication before, especially for what I always thought was my biggest flaw regarding it. And it makes sense to me. I always knew I was trying to find the right words to articulate my ideas, but if you don't hear it from someone, you just think negatively of yourself. Took me 26 years to be told I can actually speak and it's been such a different world since then.
You still don't get it. It's not about what she said, it's how she helped you accepted yourself. The contents of words (referred to as "ideas" in this video) don't matter, what matters is the intention (making friends or competition).
@@imacg5 I do get it, I said I'd never heard affirmation for it before and hearing it from someone else, especially someone professional in speech, helped fix my negative idea of myself. As for that second part, that doesn't really correlate with my issue. My intention was usually clear, but my main issue was holding back out of fear of the "stutter". Slightly different to the video I know, but I thought my experience in speech problems was related enough to share 😄
5:30 What Josh hasn't told anyone that doesn't know, is that this way of speaking with "at the end of the day" and "like" and other fillers, is the entire vocabulary of northern irish farmer culture AKA "Culchies". They will have an entire conversation with eachother that is exclusively fillers and slogans, and will still somehow effectively communicate thoughts, feelings and ideas to eachother.
The only problem I have with the "Stop using noises to fill silence" is people these days LOOOOOOVE to interrupt others, especially when you momentarily pause to think on something and/or plan your next few words. Folks these days can't help but try to cut you off to make you listen to them. Its extraordinarily annoying, and when coupled with someone being taught to shut up when others are speaking, like I was, it results in me getting halfway through a thought, and then someone cuts me off and I politely wait for them to finish, then try to continue where I left off, only to get cut off again.
Let them interrupt. If they're not paying enough attention to what you're saying to notice that the thought was left incomplete or that you're searching for the words to continue it, they probably weren't receiving the rest of your message well anyway. Let them save you some time and wasted breath.
Say that you aren't done speaking. Usually this comes from a lack of respect or just thought given to you, and a simple reminder tends to refocus people.
In my speech class in college, we would lose points on our grade if we used "um" or "uh." Broke me of that habit really quick. I've noticed it's started creeping back in, but that's after decades. 😂
19:55 - Oh hey! C&C: Renegade! I was actually in the top 10 on the leader boards for that game for a minute as "acupofjoe" because I was a kid and I thought it would be funny if other people got the message that they were killed by coffee.
Good yarn. It recently got re-released on steam. I'd never seen it before but it still has an active online community. Such a curious game, of its time. I enjoyed playing it for the first time earlier this year.
The notion of thinking speed is also why a lot of people prefer for example writing by hand when Journaling. The fact your hands move too slow to keep up with your thoughts gives you a break to consider how exactly you want to write or not write the next section. As you starts the sentence you are already going through multiple versions of that sentence in your head.
When it comes to public speaking I really love the lecture given by Patrick Wilson at MIT. It's called "How to Speak" and is available on RUclips if anyone cares.
I swear you have done this lesson before on a previous stream. Either way, I am glad I came across this revision again. Also, I like to add on a good tip for tongue twisters that I have taught myself. Read the whole tongue twister first and treat it as a part of a book or a useful piece of information you have to give to someone or an audience. Re-read it over and over until the sentences make sense. Also add a sentence over it as if you're replying to someone. For example: "Hey, where's susie?" "I saw Susie sitting in a shoeshine shop." "Oh, why is she sitting in a shoeshine shop?" "Susie works in a shoeshine shop. Where she shines she sits, and where she sits she shines." I don't do this all the time, but if I'm struggling, I treat tongue twisters as if it's a conversation.
I really needed this. Not only do I mumble at times but also say things before thinking them through. Usually I immidiatly realize that it would have been better to just shut up or wait a bit, analize what other people said and then respond properly. Even if somehow the response would have been the same it would still have a different effect on the other person. When you take your time to respond, you show respect and that you actually listened to what the other person said.
'But but i have ADHD and i just can't contain myself and have to interrupt you in your speech!' No you don't you twat just usethis as an excuse because even with ADHD, you can just listen till the other person finishes and then answer properly (and as pointed out already, with respect). -Cause i can do it (with some severe ADHDness) and so can you, if you just want to
This was incredibly helpful and highly informative. I especially appreciate the part about a group environment, where if the professor asks if we'd 'like to see it again', that we should say "yes", if not for us, then for all others in the class. To add to this -- even if it's not necessarily for you, reiterating the information can improve the chances of information solidifying in your head before moving forward. So it ultimately helps everyone (paying attention) regardless.
In some cases, people mumble and speak with poor articulation because they are afraid of being seen and being heard. This is especially true if you were physically punished as a child for speaking. Vagueness becomes a survival strategy. It takes courage to stand up straight and speak up. When dealing with trauma, it takes heroism.
It's thanks to Josh that I've learned not to use uh and umm when speaking. It's still difficult to not do it, but not adding those fillers did help with my confidence. Not to mention the audience does listen more intently when you fill the conversation with silence instead of fillers. Movies do this too, which I never realized until Josh mentioned this trick. Thanks a ton, mate!
A while ago I was looking up ways to help my autistic son with his speech impediment. Tongue twisters seemed to be highly rated by many professionals. Its fun for the kids to do it and helps them learn as they do it for the same reasons you say here. It's been a slow process but he's getting there.
Back in University when I was doing my Communication degree we literally had a class where we had to get rid of hums and like, you know, etc. We would record ourselves and redo it time and time again. Great public speaking exercise. Never got rid of like 😅but the hums are gone lol 😂
I think one of the big things for me, especially as someone with adhd, is I slowed down my speaking. I take my time. I think of the words I want rather than just letting my mouth go at its full rate. It’s hard especially when over stimulated but it’s meant that often people have come away from interacting with me saying I feel I’ve learnt so much just talking to you
@Lupercalum Misspoke 1 or 2 words with the speech but I think I made pretty good eye contact, not much bad body movement and had some good pauses. The interview I slipped up with garnered and gathered trying to say one and said it combined so I misspoke once, but I think I did really well since my fluency in English is much higher and making shit up for games (the field I chose) is definitely pretty easy to do a detailed description on.
The most important thing i learned when speaking was to slow down and use gaps to think instead of going "uhmmm". If the pause lasts too long, ill throw in a "sorry, I am collecting my thoughts" so its not as awkward. Also, you can make anything sound interesting. There is a ted talk about it. A presentation about nothing. If you can make nothing sound interesting, anything can be. Im always disappointed when i hear a PhD thesis and they are not exited... Brother, you worked on this for over four years, show some excitement!
I have learned early in life that my brain doesn't work the same way as most other people. I have a hard time forming emotional attachments with other people. Which is hard most of the time. But it has an undeniable upside. I can agree with people I don't like. I even sometimes agree with people I detest or hate. Because when it comes to analysing ideas I am basically incapable of including emotions in that process.
From a public speaking perspective I’m sure you’re right, but I like umm though. Umm is a thinking sound. If you ask me a question and I say “umm” it means “I have heard you, I’m thinking about your question, I would like to retain my turn to speak and pause this conversation while I think”. At least, that’s what it means when I use it
I've found that it helps, especially if you're speaking to someone who's not known for their patience and/or social graces, to say "Hmm" or "Let me think about that" instead. Like when I talked to builders in my old job, some of them will take any chance they have to cut you off, generally because they didn't like talking to engineers or thought they had everything figured out better than we did. And trust me, if you can deal with an impatient contractor you can deal with anyone lol.
@@JasonX909let me think about that is a powerful thing. It sets the pace and asks them to have the patience necessary for the conversation. In a more casual setting you might hear someone say hold up! I got something.
I'm very happy to see these types of examples of healthy masulinity being put out for kids to see (and adults). Love to see Josh with Dr. K at some point!
speaking with confidence means you'll just be wrong with authority more often. its actually a dangerous trait in the age of misinformation that we're in.
The most powerful change in my speech I've made was replacing "y'know?" with "Does that make sense?" If "does that makes sense" doesn't fit where you want to say "y'know", then say neither. Just like that, you've both killed a bad habit and improved the quality of the discussion by affirming understanding. You've also opened the floor to someone asking you to repeat that. :)
Josh, forgive me for this, but I get so much out of this 2nd channel over the main one. There are so many interesting lessons, reflections and discussions that I find invaluable.
The only time I say "uh" and "um" is when I'm struggling to think about a topic, like trying to recall a past event and having to dig into the archives of my brain and put together the string of information which takes many many seconds, and I don't want the person/people I'm talking to to think I've finalized what I'm saying. Other than that, if someone starts saying these things, all my brain does is focus on them, and I depending on the severity of it, I just cannot listen to it, as it becomes so irritating. If you watch livestreams and someone's doing it a lot, the chat starts to fill with "um" and "uh", mocking them. Failing to end a sentence properly, falling into that trap, is another issue. Anyway, this is all super good advice for people still in schooling systems or working with people on a daily basis. Won't help me too much in daily life, but when I do have to talk to people, and if I ever go back to group social environments, that opinion thing is really something to remember.. heck can probably improve my online talking, god knows I've struggled with that all my life as someone with Aspergers, which I'm sure people can even pick up with this comment.
It always boggles my mind when people apologise for being ESL, and then proceed to have a more nuanced, in depth and flawless conversation than I've had with native speakers, including myself. Like, bro, you um, speak better than, um like Jeff Goldblum.
Correct as always. UT3 is insanely good, and it's a shame it wasn't as popular as I would've liked. Spent many hours with a friend many years after its lifespan just playing against bots, and I loved it.
There's a bar in my town called the Pheasant Plucker. Every time someone hears about it for the first time, they call it the "pleasant fucker" and think they're being clever.
To the point of silence. I am a very silent person only saying if i want to or care. So people that are very extrovertet and talk mass. Try to fill the gap with opinions of something, often i dont really care and say i dont know or nothing. They fill the gap by spending so much information about their opinions, it often gets very controvercial and i realise what they actually think, cause they sad too much. They often realise too but to late. Its sometimes shocking what people share to just skip over silence.
Kinda crazy how I felt my engagement with what Josh is saying massively decreased when he started purposely doing the "um" "like" etc. Absolutely drove the point home
I hate speaking to a group of people, hated it in school, I hate it now and ill probably hate it until I die. I was very extroverted as a child, until 7-8 years old, then the world and people just destroyed that in me. Luckily later in my life this made me very efficient in my job and holding meetings, usually Im able to do them in 50% of the allocated time just because I don't go around talking about something else, someone else or just anything in general if it doesn't relate to work. In group gatherings if Im not very good friend with those people, maybe they are colleagues, friends of a friend, I usually stay quiet, fake laugh and answer in short sentences.
Y'know (lol) it's kinda interesting and in line with what you're saying; i'm a non-native english speaker, but i'm ironically probably easier to understand in english. Why? Because speaking in english forces my brain to slow down due to translation. When i'm speaking danish, it's going at the speed of furries towards a new anthro skin in Fortnite, and that means every fucking word is stumbling over the others in an attempt to get to my mouth first. It ain't conductive to a coherent string of words! This may also be why i'm actually decent at presentations; being nervous as hell slows my brain down. :V Good words dude, thanks for this video!
I've often been told by people how they feel comfortable being in silence with me, that they always need someone to talk in the company of others but I'm the exception. I don't know what to make of that, and it makes me suddenly need to talk, because I didn't even realize it was quiet
It means that they feel reaaally comfortable around you to just, you know, be and exist and to not have to keep a conversation going for conversations sake. They feel and know that there is no pressure upon them to socialize heavily,or to adhere to other social 'norms'. Take this behaviour of your friends as compliments, cause that's what it ultimately is :)
I just realized why so many people that i don´t even really know tell me so much about them that i don´t even want to know, because i don´t talk. But i do it because i am comfy with a litttle silence than i can concentrate on my thoughts.
On a similar note, people think they look at the evidence and come to a conclusion. They dont. They decide on an opinion then look for evidence to support that opinion. You cant change peoples minds with facts alone
This is extremely funny to hear because I had to learn to mimic and use filler words intentionally in both my native and second language because people found me too uncanny and uncomfortable to talk to without them. I think this is useful public speaking advice but speaking in that way certainly hasn't made me more friends or fit in with coworkers as an autistic person lmao
Thank you for adressing the unreal tournament 4 issue. I am still pissed at epic for this business decision, even though it worked out brilliantly for them. In its alpha state the game was already a lot of fun.
Pro tip: this doesn't work when you have a call center job because the caller will fill your silences with "are you still there?" and then you have to explain Betty that you are indeed still there. Tell them what you're doing instead xD
To all the people saying "ums" and "uhhs" can be useful conversationally to try to signal you're not done your thought so people don't interrupt you... On an online voice chat or something, sure, but in person? If someone isn't paying enough attention to you and what you're saying to be aware that you're not finished speaking when you're looking for the words to continue a thought, more often than not it's been my experience that it's because they're not receptive to what you were saying to begin with. Whether that's their fault or yours can vary, but at that point, finishing your thought probably wasn't going to do them any good anyway. Let them save you some time and wasted breath. Also, sticking to your guns and using pauses as you need, rather than "uhms" and "uhhs" will train people you speak with often to wait for you to finish speaking, because they'll get used to the fact that a brief silence doesn't necessarily mean you're done speaking. This can give you more control over the flow of a conversation, make your words hold greater weight, and people you speak with regularly might even comment on your behalf if someone attempts to shove a thought that's in *their* head through the gap you've left to search for a word or three.
Stuff like this is primarily why I subscribe to Josh.He's like the big brother that a lot of people never had coming in with those clutch life lessons.
Without being an incel or manosphere asshole about it. He’s just real with actual advice based on self reflection rather than hating women or foreigners
no siblings, no father pepehands
thanks Josh 🙏🏼
Oh that's why I was thinking about my terrible relationships with my brothers while watching this.
@@crowman2702Im getting flashbacks to being a child and my laptop being stolen for drug money, and getting my mum's help to track down the cex shop it was pawned to and getting it back.
My older brother has been clean for years now, but I cant so much as think about him without that being the baseline of our relationship
Damn Josh Strife is the man who randomly drops knowledge bombs whilst also being unable to button up his shirt
No. Thats how men should wear these.
as if we'd want him to 🥵🥵🥵
That's to put authoritarian pressure on the audience
Incredible advice. As someone with ADHD and always struggled with speaking, what helped me was just slowing down and realizing there is no rush at all. Now I yap for hours managing to articulate myself in a meaningful way
I do this now too. Grew up with ADHD and, even though I took meds, I realized I could just slow down my speech without there being anything wrong. It also allowed me to train my own word filters and take a step back from those impulses. Sometimes it's just a simple "wait, do I even need to bring this up?" question in my head while talking.
I've always paused in the middle of speech, I used to call it a brain stutter. When I did my TV training course, we had communication training (which was more like group therapy honestly). During that, I spoke about my issues communicating verbally, that I sometimes pause in the middle of my speech. The trainer told me that I was wrong about what I thought of my communication. She said that me pausing isn't a negative, it's me processing the information and trying to think about what I'm saying before I say it. And then she said that she wishes more people would do that. Genuinely never felt such a positive affirmation for my communication before, especially for what I always thought was my biggest flaw regarding it.
And it makes sense to me. I always knew I was trying to find the right words to articulate my ideas, but if you don't hear it from someone, you just think negatively of yourself. Took me 26 years to be told I can actually speak and it's been such a different world since then.
It would've been really funny if your comment suddenly ended in the mid-
Jk
@@seracris8357 Lol true tbh. Although it's less of a mid word thing and more trying to find the right word. Did it loads while writing out the thing 😂
I pause mid sentence trying to think of what word I'm trying to use... Then forget what i was talking about... 😂
You still don't get it. It's not about what she said, it's how she helped you accepted yourself. The contents of words (referred to as "ideas" in this video) don't matter, what matters is the intention (making friends or competition).
@@imacg5 I do get it, I said I'd never heard affirmation for it before and hearing it from someone else, especially someone professional in speech, helped fix my negative idea of myself.
As for that second part, that doesn't really correlate with my issue. My intention was usually clear, but my main issue was holding back out of fear of the "stutter". Slightly different to the video I know, but I thought my experience in speech problems was related enough to share 😄
5:30 What Josh hasn't told anyone that doesn't know, is that this way of speaking with "at the end of the day" and "like" and other fillers, is the entire vocabulary of northern irish farmer culture AKA "Culchies". They will have an entire conversation with eachother that is exclusively fillers and slogans, and will still somehow effectively communicate thoughts, feelings and ideas to eachother.
Different ways of living. Communicating. It just works.
The only problem I have with the "Stop using noises to fill silence" is people these days LOOOOOOVE to interrupt others, especially when you momentarily pause to think on something and/or plan your next few words. Folks these days can't help but try to cut you off to make you listen to them. Its extraordinarily annoying, and when coupled with someone being taught to shut up when others are speaking, like I was, it results in me getting halfway through a thought, and then someone cuts me off and I politely wait for them to finish, then try to continue where I left off, only to get cut off again.
in addition, people dislike slow speakers. If I speak slowly, I piss people off and they tell me to speed up and stop wasting their time.
Let them interrupt. If they're not paying enough attention to what you're saying to notice that the thought was left incomplete or that you're searching for the words to continue it, they probably weren't receiving the rest of your message well anyway. Let them save you some time and wasted breath.
Say that you aren't done speaking. Usually this comes from a lack of respect or just thought given to you, and a simple reminder tends to refocus people.
@@eugenides04 Ah, so you're one of those rude people. I will actively NOT acknowledge your advice.
@@MrJinglejanglejinglethat's exactly what he meant. People like you aren't taking anyone's advice in the first place.
In my speech class in college, we would lose points on our grade if we used "um" or "uh." Broke me of that habit really quick. I've noticed it's started creeping back in, but that's after decades. 😂
Me: *enthralled by JSH
JSH: "I've tricked you into learning."
Me: "....damn...he's right."
19:55 - Oh hey! C&C: Renegade! I was actually in the top 10 on the leader boards for that game for a minute as "acupofjoe" because I was a kid and I thought it would be funny if other people got the message that they were killed by coffee.
Good yarn. It recently got re-released on steam. I'd never seen it before but it still has an active online community. Such a curious game, of its time. I enjoyed playing it for the first time earlier this year.
The notion of thinking speed is also why a lot of people prefer for example writing by hand when Journaling. The fact your hands move too slow to keep up with your thoughts gives you a break to consider how exactly you want to write or not write the next section. As you starts the sentence you are already going through multiple versions of that sentence in your head.
i think it was Neil Gaiman who said that he prefers to write by hand instead of writing on a computer, exactly for this.
This one is going to my josh strife hayes top moments playlist
This advice and one from voice actor in the valve documentary - speak every letter in the word - are my new homework
When it comes to public speaking I really love the lecture given by Patrick Wilson at MIT. It's called "How to Speak" and is available on RUclips if anyone cares.
I swear you have done this lesson before on a previous stream. Either way, I am glad I came across this revision again. Also, I like to add on a good tip for tongue twisters that I have taught myself. Read the whole tongue twister first and treat it as a part of a book or a useful piece of information you have to give to someone or an audience. Re-read it over and over until the sentences make sense. Also add a sentence over it as if you're replying to someone. For example:
"Hey, where's susie?"
"I saw Susie sitting in a shoeshine shop."
"Oh, why is she sitting in a shoeshine shop?"
"Susie works in a shoeshine shop. Where she shines she sits, and where she sits she shines."
I don't do this all the time, but if I'm struggling, I treat tongue twisters as if it's a conversation.
I really needed this. Not only do I mumble at times but also say things before thinking them through. Usually I immidiatly realize that it would have been better to just shut up or wait a bit, analize what other people said and then respond properly. Even if somehow the response would have been the same it would still have a different effect on the other person. When you take your time to respond, you show respect and that you actually listened to what the other person said.
'But but i have ADHD and i just can't contain myself and have to interrupt you in your speech!'
No you don't you twat just usethis as an excuse because even with ADHD, you can just listen till the other person finishes and then answer properly (and as pointed out already, with respect).
-Cause i can do it (with some severe ADHDness) and so can you, if you just want to
This was incredibly helpful and highly informative. I especially appreciate the part about a group environment, where if the professor asks if we'd 'like to see it again', that we should say "yes", if not for us, then for all others in the class. To add to this -- even if it's not necessarily for you, reiterating the information can improve the chances of information solidifying in your head before moving forward. So it ultimately helps everyone (paying attention) regardless.
I do phone support and I guarantee you that staying silent does not work on remote... They like hearing noises so they know your still there :P
one of those situations where having a lower quality mic that picks up your keyboard is better than having a good sounding voice.
Or a higher quality mic that can pickup the noises coming from your keyboard
Qa deduction for more than 10 seconds of silence. Me - ;-;
This works 100% my cats now listen to me.
This was amazing, thank you for breaking it down! This will help me improve my presentations at work!
In some cases, people mumble and speak with poor articulation because they are afraid of being seen and being heard. This is especially true if you were physically punished as a child for speaking. Vagueness becomes a survival strategy. It takes courage to stand up straight and speak up. When dealing with trauma, it takes heroism.
It's thanks to Josh that I've learned not to use uh and umm when speaking. It's still difficult to not do it, but not adding those fillers did help with my confidence. Not to mention the audience does listen more intently when you fill the conversation with silence instead of fillers. Movies do this too, which I never realized until Josh mentioned this trick.
Thanks a ton, mate!
This video is so great that deserves to be watched on the first monitor.
A while ago I was looking up ways to help my autistic son with his speech impediment. Tongue twisters seemed to be highly rated by many professionals. Its fun for the kids to do it and helps them learn as they do it for the same reasons you say here. It's been a slow process but he's getting there.
Back in University when I was doing my Communication degree we literally had a class where we had to get rid of hums and like, you know, etc. We would record ourselves and redo it time and time again. Great public speaking exercise. Never got rid of like 😅but the hums are gone lol 😂
I'm not judging the windowed mode at all. I'm judging the desktop clutter.
i think he needs all that clutter to cover up the horrible background picture
"In the beginning were the Words, and the Words made the world. I am the Words. The Words are everything. Where the Words end the world ends."
Love the advice and tongue twisters. Didn't know 2 of the ones you used, adding to my list 😊
I did the ''speak up when nobody else would in class'' when I was in University. I can vouch that it does work.
Excellent advice, ty ty.
I think one of the big things for me, especially as someone with adhd, is I slowed down my speaking. I take my time. I think of the words I want rather than just letting my mouth go at its full rate. It’s hard especially when over stimulated but it’s meant that often people have come away from interacting with me saying I feel I’ve learnt so much just talking to you
Word
Factorio on the desktop. My man ^^
What the hell this is uncanny how tomorrow I have to deliver an inaugural speech and do a pratice job interview tomorrow at school
Good luck with your speech and interview.
@NeuMaster9 Oh brother I will take it as far as I can while I'm dying of an allergy right now
@@mtfzulu-0571 How did it go?
@Lupercalum Misspoke 1 or 2 words with the speech but I think I made pretty good eye contact, not much bad body movement and had some good pauses. The interview I slipped up with garnered and gathered trying to say one and said it combined so I misspoke once, but I think I did really well since my fluency in English is much higher and making shit up for games (the field I chose) is definitely pretty easy to do a detailed description on.
The most important thing i learned when speaking was to slow down and use gaps to think instead of going "uhmmm". If the pause lasts too long, ill throw in a "sorry, I am collecting my thoughts" so its not as awkward.
Also, you can make anything sound interesting. There is a ted talk about it. A presentation about nothing. If you can make nothing sound interesting, anything can be. Im always disappointed when i hear a PhD thesis and they are not exited... Brother, you worked on this for over four years, show some excitement!
I appreciate this. As a 43 year old man, I needed to hear this more than anyone.
Fairly well made video with great pointes.
Very good explanation there. Wish i had teachers like you 👍
I have learned early in life that my brain doesn't work the same way as most other people. I have a hard time forming emotional attachments with other people. Which is hard most of the time. But it has an undeniable upside. I can agree with people I don't like. I even sometimes agree with people I detest or hate. Because when it comes to analysing ideas I am basically incapable of including emotions in that process.
When a random RUclipsr helps you, a 33 years old man, to control his stutter one has since childhood. Thank you!
From a public speaking perspective I’m sure you’re right, but I like umm though. Umm is a thinking sound.
If you ask me a question and I say “umm” it means “I have heard you, I’m thinking about your question, I would like to retain my turn to speak and pause this conversation while I think”. At least, that’s what it means when I use it
I've found that it helps, especially if you're speaking to someone who's not known for their patience and/or social graces, to say "Hmm" or "Let me think about that" instead. Like when I talked to builders in my old job, some of them will take any chance they have to cut you off, generally because they didn't like talking to engineers or thought they had everything figured out better than we did. And trust me, if you can deal with an impatient contractor you can deal with anyone lol.
@@JasonX909let me think about that is a powerful thing. It sets the pace and asks them to have the patience necessary for the conversation.
In a more casual setting you might hear someone say hold up! I got something.
Josh sounding like a real politician talking at 5:30 one question about deep topics
I'm very happy to see these types of examples of healthy masulinity being put out for kids to see (and adults).
Love to see Josh with Dr. K at some point!
Love watching your content. Keep being awesome
Being an "um"less person will elevate you so much on it's own - great video!
I learn something new every day, and getting to learn that something new from Josh always makes it a good day.
How can a man so elegant, so wise and so handsome have such an atrocious and chaotic desktop, I am shocked.
Duck season. Rabbit season. Duck season. Rabbit season. Rabbit season. Duck season. Can't believe Looney Tunes was teaching me this lesson all along.
I don't mumble my words but I do think faster than what I speak and that leads me to stutter
4:06 me being autistic: oh... is that why people often think I am lying when I am not? Hmmm... interesting
Yep, it’s a bitch ain’t it?
Lol I had the same "oh crap is that a thing? I always remember the stupidest specifi details," but thankfully it hasn't been an issue for me so far
Yet again the 'tism has played us for fools 🙃
Thats basically what I was about to write. I am definitely not going to try to be an outgoing person on anything anymore, internet included. lol
speaking with confidence means you'll just be wrong with authority more often. its actually a dangerous trait in the age of misinformation that we're in.
Josh brought out his inner Thor (PirateSoftware) with the paint lesson. My worlds are colliding!
This reminds me so much of James Clear's Book 'the 1% method' and his research in habits
The most powerful change in my speech I've made was replacing "y'know?" with "Does that make sense?" If "does that makes sense" doesn't fit where you want to say "y'know", then say neither. Just like that, you've both killed a bad habit and improved the quality of the discussion by affirming understanding.
You've also opened the floor to someone asking you to repeat that. :)
Xqc needs this lesson so bad.
But he's french😢
Josh builds a lot of respect with his life lessons, then loses it all playing in windowed mode.
😂😂😂😂 im dead
Josh, forgive me for this, but I get so much out of this 2nd channel over the main one. There are so many interesting lessons, reflections and discussions that I find invaluable.
love this channel
Josh slowly and accidentally becoming an inspirational speaker
lol, self reflection and the realisation was an emotional journey
The only time I say "uh" and "um" is when I'm struggling to think about a topic, like trying to recall a past event and having to dig into the archives of my brain and put together the string of information which takes many many seconds, and I don't want the person/people I'm talking to to think I've finalized what I'm saying.
Other than that, if someone starts saying these things, all my brain does is focus on them, and I depending on the severity of it, I just cannot listen to it, as it becomes so irritating. If you watch livestreams and someone's doing it a lot, the chat starts to fill with "um" and "uh", mocking them.
Failing to end a sentence properly, falling into that trap, is another issue.
Anyway, this is all super good advice for people still in schooling systems or working with people on a daily basis. Won't help me too much in daily life, but when I do have to talk to people, and if I ever go back to group social environments, that opinion thing is really something to remember.. heck can probably improve my online talking, god knows I've struggled with that all my life as someone with Aspergers, which I'm sure people can even pick up with this comment.
Thank you big brother
I have to give a presentation about cyber security at work next month, thank you very much for this video, it's going to help me a lot
"people only remember how you made them feel"
i´ll only remember the desktop 😭
It always boggles my mind when people apologise for being ESL, and then proceed to have a more nuanced, in depth and flawless conversation than I've had with native speakers, including myself.
Like, bro, you um, speak better than, um like Jeff Goldblum.
I literally got a headache from doing this, I think it's working lol. Joke aside, life long struggle for me and especially bad in D&D - thanks Josh!
"public speaking with Hayes: tonguetwisters"
Correct as always. UT3 is insanely good, and it's a shame it wasn't as popular as I would've liked. Spent many hours with a friend many years after its lifespan just playing against bots, and I loved it.
This video makes me so happy
No. i will never be confident about anything. Nothing will change my kind.
You sound pretty confident about that 😆
@icetbaggins7999 wow, I wish I realized that sooner. Then maybe I could make a joke about it.
I bet he could teach a scotsman to say purple burglar alarm.
15:12 - No. They're not making a mistake, the pluckers are doing it deliberately.
There's a bar in my town called the Pheasant Plucker. Every time someone hears about it for the first time, they call it the "pleasant fucker" and think they're being clever.
Dang thats some good advice!
Nothing beats a teaching stream with random intervals where the teacher plays Broken Sword
To the point of silence. I am a very silent person only saying if i want to or care. So people that are very extrovertet and talk mass. Try to fill the gap with opinions of something, often i dont really care and say i dont know or nothing. They fill the gap by spending so much information about their opinions, it often gets very controvercial and i realise what they actually think, cause they sad too much. They often realise too but to late. Its sometimes shocking what people share to just skip over silence.
9:58 Piratesoftware moment right here.
Kinda crazy how I felt my engagement with what Josh is saying massively decreased when he started purposely doing the "um" "like" etc. Absolutely drove the point home
I hate speaking to a group of people, hated it in school, I hate it now and ill probably hate it until I die. I was very extroverted as a child, until 7-8 years old, then the world and people just destroyed that in me. Luckily later in my life this made me very efficient in my job and holding meetings, usually Im able to do them in 50% of the allocated time just because I don't go around talking about something else, someone else or just anything in general if it doesn't relate to work. In group gatherings if Im not very good friend with those people, maybe they are colleagues, friends of a friend, I usually stay quiet, fake laugh and answer in short sentences.
Thank you Josh
3:05 Finns are immune to this.
Y'know (lol) it's kinda interesting and in line with what you're saying; i'm a non-native english speaker, but i'm ironically probably easier to understand in english. Why? Because speaking in english forces my brain to slow down due to translation. When i'm speaking danish, it's going at the speed of furries towards a new anthro skin in Fortnite, and that means every fucking word is stumbling over the others in an attempt to get to my mouth first. It ain't conductive to a coherent string of words! This may also be why i'm actually decent at presentations; being nervous as hell slows my brain down. :V
Good words dude, thanks for this video!
Professor Josh Teaching us
i watched this whilst drunk thank you
4:11 But I do that to tell the truth, I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one. Especially in job interviews where you know they'll do a background check.
I've often been told by people how they feel comfortable being in silence with me, that they always need someone to talk in the company of others but I'm the exception. I don't know what to make of that, and it makes me suddenly need to talk, because I didn't even realize it was quiet
It means that they feel reaaally comfortable around you to just, you know, be and exist and to not have to keep a conversation going for conversations sake. They feel and know that there is no pressure upon them to socialize heavily,or to adhere to other social 'norms'. Take this behaviour of your friends as compliments, cause that's what it ultimately is :)
We went to this meeting and a guy did a talk on heroin.....so i could not understand anything he said
Idec if this isn't true because it made me laugh
Some other fun tongue twisters:
Red white red white red white
The Hedge Mage’s hedge maze’s head maid
Teeny tiny tigers teach typography
After watching this video, I can Confidently say that this is one of Josh's videos.
I just realized why so many people that i don´t even really know tell me so much about them that i don´t even want to know, because i don´t talk. But i do it because i am comfy with a litttle silence than i can concentrate on my thoughts.
Holy crap this is why my coworker doesn't agree with anything I suggest.
Window mode desktop jump scare was good levity
Wasn't expecting to feel seen by a fellow Unreal Tournament gamer in this video.
Okay now everyone lets admit it.
We just all started trying to go red lorry, yellow lorry didn't we?
Also also being able to do a tongue twister in another language is proof that your command of that language is fluent.
On a similar note, people think they look at the evidence and come to a conclusion. They dont. They decide on an opinion then look for evidence to support that opinion. You cant change peoples minds with facts alone
This is extremely funny to hear because I had to learn to mimic and use filler words intentionally in both my native and second language because people found me too uncanny and uncomfortable to talk to without them. I think this is useful public speaking advice but speaking in that way certainly hasn't made me more friends or fit in with coworkers as an autistic person lmao
Thank you for adressing the unreal tournament 4 issue. I am still pissed at epic for this business decision, even though it worked out brilliantly for them. In its alpha state the game was already a lot of fun.
Pro tip: this doesn't work when you have a call center job because the caller will fill your silences with "are you still there?" and then you have to explain Betty that you are indeed still there. Tell them what you're doing instead xD
omg that desktop icon mess XD
To all the people saying "ums" and "uhhs" can be useful conversationally to try to signal you're not done your thought so people don't interrupt you...
On an online voice chat or something, sure, but in person? If someone isn't paying enough attention to you and what you're saying to be aware that you're not finished speaking when you're looking for the words to continue a thought, more often than not it's been my experience that it's because they're not receptive to what you were saying to begin with. Whether that's their fault or yours can vary, but at that point, finishing your thought probably wasn't going to do them any good anyway. Let them save you some time and wasted breath.
Also, sticking to your guns and using pauses as you need, rather than "uhms" and "uhhs" will train people you speak with often to wait for you to finish speaking, because they'll get used to the fact that a brief silence doesn't necessarily mean you're done speaking. This can give you more control over the flow of a conversation, make your words hold greater weight, and people you speak with regularly might even comment on your behalf if someone attempts to shove a thought that's in *their* head through the gap you've left to search for a word or three.
I only speak with confidence when I spread misinformation like a goblin