Discussing Music as a Coping Strategy
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- Опубликовано: 7 окт 2024
- So today is another discussion video, this time all about the idea of music as a coping strategy or coping mechanism.
I hope you’ll all share your thoughts in the comments section below, let’s talk!
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The two studies referenced:
Rentfrow, P. J., Goldberg, L. R., & Levitin, D. J. (2011). The structure of musical preferences: A five-factor model. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 100(6), 1139-1157
Carlson, Emily, (2015). Maladaptive and adaptive emotion regulation through music: a behavioural and neuroimaging study of males and females. Frontiers in Human Neuroscience, (9)
Music: Sllaw - Tetronica (deepcutsmusic....)
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Let's create some discussion!
- What are your thoughts on the three different kind of coping strategies outline by the research?
- How do you use music as a coping strategy?
- What kind of music works for you / doesn't work for you?
Any/all thoughts you have on this topic, get em down
Lately I haven't had much need for coping per se, but as I was on my way to my college entrance exam a couple moths ago listening to The Powers that B (the song, specifically) really helped relieve the tension.
I realised when I catalogued my music recently that most of my music could be classed as downbeat or quite depressing. I find that such music lifts me up - i.e. Sad music tends to help me feel better.
Listening to sad or pensive music when i'm feeling depressed really is the only way sometimes for me to feel better.
For example, discovering Nick Drakes music in my mid teens really helped me understand that sometimes you just feel down for no reason, but everybody feels like this sometimes. Such a shame that he died so young.
I went through a break up myself earlier last year and The Contortionist - Language helped me hugely, at the time i probably listened to that album 10 times a day, now that their new album Clairvoyant is available i now have more of that at last
Music IS a healing strategy
WOW, gives me a great listen to list. Healing, connecting and motivating are my three go-to emotions around what I listen to. Healing in the spaces of pain, by revisiting that experience in a song. Connecting through the shared emotion it conveys. Motivating as it pulls me along in that connection to a higher understanding.
This episode cuts the deepest.
good meme
melon
Welp, Oliver made it.
Collab! Nobody deserves the exposure more. I bet a lot of melonheads would love this channel.
olives are better than melons ;)
I'm autistic, and I often feel that music is my best friend, or even my only friend at times. It's the one thing I can always rely on to be there for me, and it never fails to settle my mind or lift my mood. It offers me so much; it's my obsession, and it's a diversion from the 'noise' of modern life. Nothing makes me happier than sitting and listening to music. It doesn't have to be a specific album, as long as it's something I like.
So I guess it's mainly about catharsis for me. Having said that though, it does offer me solace at times too, and that's when specific artists or albums will come into play, during those tough times in life. For whatever reason, The Cure and Cocteau Twins seem to be my 'go to' bands when this happens...maybe it's because their music is so colourful, and I find that comforting.
I have music on constantly, or as much as possible. About once every six months, for a few hours, a strange mood takes me over, and I'm just not in the mood for music. I get scared...what the hell is wrong with me? What's happening? Am I broken? I usually just have a nap and sleep it off.
I could keep writing for ages about this topic but I'll leave it there for now.
Another great video Oliver. Please keep going forever.
Thanks for contributing your thoughts Matt. As someone who does not have autism I can say that I empathise with everything you've written there - above all else music is always there for me, it can pick me up and knock me down like nothing/no-one else.
Also never fear - we all go through those strange periods where all of a sudden we briefly don't feel like listeneing to music. It happens to me about once every six months too, but it only takes a specific record or something new to jolt me right back in again :)
I'm autistic too and it always surprises me when people like Temple Grandin say "I think in pictures". Words are my comfort blanket - however they come. Someone introduced me to Leonard Cohen when I was quite young and it's that kind of music that has always helped me discover a feeling or an understanding I could never have found otherwise. I can become quite obsessed with a book or piece of music and read or listen to it over and over. I remember the time Pearly Dew Drops was that song :-)
Also when I'm overwhelmed and can't cope with words or thinking, I listen to something that's so loud it fills my head. Usually German post-punk industrial metal like Einsturdenze Neubauten
Quite often 'aggressive' music sounds (and is) calming to me and sometimes 'easy going' music can piss me off, happy music can sound dramatic and sad music can sound profoundly joyful at times.
I suffer from anxiety and depression, and continually self harm in order to have a form of release. I remember one day, when I was 16, I walked into the record store and saw the cover of The Glow Pt. 2. It was $30, and I had never heard it, but I bought it because I loved the cover of it.
I put that record on the night I bought it, and I was immediately hooked. Since then, I have listened to that album hundreds of times, and it has literally saved my life several times. The themes of life, death, and the mossy, naturalistic production envelop me every single time I listen to it. Love this video (Benji is one of my favorites too!) and I always love your thoughts and recommendations. Have a great day Oliver!
Also I would personally say it gives me a sense of discharge due to it's intensely cathartic moments. I typically gravitate towards music on those ends- Converge especially!- because of the immense rush and subsequent release I feel from it.
Thanks for sharing your experiences with us Dylan. I can absolutely sympathise with your situation, and can imagine how a record like The Glow Pt.2 would be a source of comfort. It's a beautiful thing.
It's such an intimate record, but it's also immense in its scope and incredibly powerful. I think that's why I love it so much; it's grand but relatable. I'm getting a tattoo of the elephant on the cover sometime, because it just means so much. This is really a fascinating topic btw, loving the discussion in the comments.
heyy your comment was 2 years ago for me its 2020 now and this comment still impacts me thank you.
Radiohead - Kid A. This truly gets me past my numbing. It's kind of like another world I can feel a part of.
I listened to exmilitary before my first GCSE exam. It surprisingly payed off
Nice, not sure the relevance of my question but what subject was it?
deep cuts Statistics. I guess the aggresion and energy of the album got rid of my stress
Further maths? Ouch
New advice for students: listen to DG
Godspeed You! Black Emperor - Lift your skinny fists
Owain Wheeler amazing
I think a problem with using music as a coping mechanism is similar to what you mentioned about becoming a complete wreck when hearing a song that reminds you of a troubled time in your life, the problem being that sometimes we find some of our favourite music unlistenable due to strong negative emotions related to it. One on hand, a friend of my can no longer listen to Blond by Frank Ocean as she went through a break up while looping it constantly. On another hand, I listened to Blond while on holidays and now actively avoid overplaying for fear of losing the association I feel with it and that care free feeling of vacation. It's strange how albums can almost become time capsules to past experiences in our lives. I listened to OK Computer for the first time in New York and now am brought back to that exciting, new experience every time I listen to it. Overall, I think it's a really intriguing topic that has tons of different angles to cover it from.
I am sad for your friend Paul, I would hate not to be able to play Blond regularly! But yes in all seriousness I think music can act as a time capsule to our emotions - that's something I covered on my 'Music and Memory' discussion video. This means by extension that we may return to certain albums AS a coping mechanism, or as with your example NOT return BECAUSE they were used as a coping mechanism. I can also empathise about your OKC/NYC anecdote - when I visited NYC when I was younger I discovered The Bends for the first time, and ever since it transports me back to that feeling of exploration/excitement.
Paul Looney i feel the exact same way its amazing how you can hear a song and be completely transported to a specifice time and mindset in your life. There are some songs i can’t listen to as well because i’m scared i’ll lose the feeling from overplaying them.
Don't forget that great homage to the life saving power of music The Smith's Rubber Ring:
The passing of time and all of its crimes
Is making me sad again
The passing of time and all of its sickening crimes
Is making me sad again
But don't forget the songs that made you cry
And the songs that saved your life
Yes, you're older now and you're a clever swine
But they were the only ones who ever stood by you
For me Helplessness Blues was huge for getting me through my AS levels, and crack up came out halfway through my A2s and helped me out a lot. So Fleet foxes are very important for me as comfort/coping music
Will their next album get you through your degree then? (if you're planning on doing one of course)
deep cuts haha let's see 😆 if I make it out of chile
I remember when my grandad passed away in the late 2000s, at the height of the indie music scene, I struggled to really cry for the first few days and just let my emotions come out.
But I listened to ‘Colour it in’ by The Maccabees one day and the song ‘Tissue Shoulders’ really just made me start balling and helped me finally come to terms with it, even though I don’t think the song was even about that.
But years later I bumped into Orlando the frontman at a bar in Southampton and I thanked him for that moment, he gave me a big hug and said that was one of the loveliest things a fan had said to him
It really depends, doesn't it?
I think that when it comes to angry and aggressive music, this idea of music being a coping mechanism is prevalent. Listening to Nails or Morbid Angel always gets my desire to punch random people in the street out, as the anger that is being expressed in the music seems to be on the same level, and on the same side as mine.
But when it comes to sad music, I do think it can get slightly damaging and, at certain points, dangerous.
The thing is, when you're dealing with your emotional problems with music, the artists you are listening to seem more human than ever. It really feels like they're on the same page as you are, and compared to the rest of the world, they seem to understand. The problem comes in to focus here. It's nice to share the burden of sadness and depression, but when you're always with people who are as depressed and as sad as you are, there's almost no way for you to look at yourself in a more objective way and get yourself out of that ditch. When it comes to albums like 'Nebraska' or 'Teen Dream', I think they don't necessarily fit the description I'm giving here. The emotive side of those albums feel so vast and rich in its meaning and purpose that, although you cope by listening to those records, it doesn't sting.
In the case of 'Benji', it's different. Because Kozelek is baring his bones in the songs, and because it shows, the coping process feels beyond personal to the point where it doesn't actually help you. Oh sure, at first it does, but by the fourth listen, you realize you're digging your own grave with no one around.
All I'm saying is, when you mosh, you do it with other people. When you cry, you do it alone. Only one of these is healthy when you do it repeatedly, though I guess one of them is life-threatening in a literally, punch-to-the-face type of way.
A very interesting part of this conversation is shown in the music that we cope with. I've personally found that the quality of the music, or the technicality of the music doesn't matter. Sometimes, something that's been done multiple times in the past can hit you hard as long as it is played in the right place at the right time. In 2015, the album that really struck me and sort of dug a hole inside me was Julien Baker's 'Sprained Ankle'. In many ways, it's just another slightly reverb tinged singer-songwriter album, but something about the delivery and the lyrics felt so wounding and healing at the same time.
The music that you cope with doesn't necessarily need to specifically be about you as well. I mean, I listen to 'In the Aeroplane Over the Sea' whenever I get down, and the story behind that album cannot be further away from my life.
I only have three questions when it comes to this topic.
1. When it comes to music that has lyrics, does the listener NEED to relate to the lyrics in order to use the music as a coping mechanism? Last year, I started listening to the National, and at first I didn't get it. Then, one day, I started playing 'Daughters of the Soho Riots' and it hit me like a tidal wave. However, the lyrics have nothing to do with me.
2. What's the difference between a record being emotive in a sensitive way and being manipulative in a pandering way? You've recently said that a certain lyric from the new Brand New album felt slightly bit like the latter of the two that I've mentioned, so I'm curious.
3. Why do certain albums work as coping mechanisms for some but not for others? The new XXXtentacion album comes to mind. I cannot believe that anybody can possibly use that shallow attempt at being emotive as coping material, but the truth is, a lot of people do use it as exactly that. At first, I simply denounced all of those people who don't understand what real depression feels like, but then I realized that there must be something I'm missing when it comes to how people listen to music.
Well, enough of this depressing topic. I'm gonna go and play some Parliament albums now. I don't care if it's midnight here in Korea. I Assume my neighbors like Parliament.
One of the best comments I've ever seen on RUclips 👏🏾
I can always count on you to deliver some stellar discourse mate, excellent stuff! In answer to your questions:
1. I think you're absolutely right, lyricism does not have to be inherently relatable in order to affect you on a personal or emotional level. Sometimes a single word can trigger a memory or evoke a feeling in you, and its on a level we cannot quite understand or explain. Art, poetry, everything is quite abstract when it comes down to phenomenology, we still don't truly understand it as I mentioned in the video, but to say our minds and therefore emotions often operate by abstraction is a good indication to why lyricism doesn't have to relate thematically in order to hit us in the feels.
2. I'm glad you brought this up, and I'm not surprised its w/r/t/ the Brand New lyric. I think really it comes down to subjectivity, because I could imagine the lyric in question could feel completely different to someone who has had different life experiences to myself. My feeling when it came to that lyrics specifically was that it felt like a lazy and unpoetic way of looking at unhappiness/depression, that verb 'incision' just felt like it was there to shock in a kind of lame way.
3. Fascinating, who really knows? If you use XXXtentacion as an example it brings us to even murkier waters, because then we have to talk about morality in music and context informing our understanding or opinions of music or an artist. I think a lot of the way we individually react to music on an emotive level is unexplainable. There is no formula to making music that connects with people, which is why this topic and seeing these discussions cropping up are so interesting.
Enjoy Parliament ;)
AnotherDamnFilmCritic Great comment. In some ways I agree with how you describe the danger of sad music to a person being sad. However, sometimes with depression specifically (NOT sadness) sometimes all you need to start coping is to simply *feel* the emotions a music conveys. With depression at times you can get so stuck in your own head and so devoid of any "real" feelings that it can make you begin to feel empty, even subhuman. (Side note: depression effects everyone differently, but for me it seemed like the only emotions I felt were those I feigned and those in response to being depressed, which felt rather "fake" to me). And music is a great catalyst to return to those emotions that seem to have been lost or faded away. Even if it is a generally negative emotion like anger or sadness, using music to jump-start your emotive drive can be very healing in a sort of way, a reminder that you're still human with the capacity to feel as you should in a given situation, and by emotions don't have to be contrived.
And of course moderation is crucial, as listening to too much music that conveys an emotion (e.g. sadness) may result in an extreme discharge. But I've found that listening to a variety of music that can tap into different emotions can really help to cope.
I mostly use music to feel something, anything really, when I've gone emotionally numb. Like you said, the chills that my favorite pieces can give me remind me that I'm alive and that there's something to continue living for.
Music has saved my life. For example, as a teenager I went through some really scary health issues. The Beatles seemed to speak to me, but not in a creepy Charles Manson way. I loved the part in Hey Jude where it says ",take a sad song and make it better". It really seemed to comfort me at that time.
When I feel angry or pissed off, I usually tend to listen to very angry/noisy music so to "wash" my mind off it like Venetian Snares "My Love Is a Bulldozer" or anything Merzbow. On the contrary when I feel sad, down and blue, my go to album is Jóhann Jóhannsson's IBM 1401, a User's Manual or Henryk Górecki's 3rd Symphony. I've even found solace in Björk's Vulnicura.
That being said, I have realised that the older I get the less music I listen to on the daily.
Sometimes silence is even better than any piece of music no matter how good it is.
I have a long list of albums i listen to when depressed, which seems far to often. It includes things like:
Benji - Sun Kil Moom
Pink Moon - Nick Drake
The Bends - Radiohead
Carrie and Lowell - Sufjan Stevens
On the Beach - Neil Young
I think my relationship with music would fall under the discharge category, so much so that I sometimes really wonder at myself and think, “Gosh, what a masochist I am!”
Skeleton Tree for me is an all time “coping” favorite - it’s such a spectacular album, but I’ve recently found I have to actively stop myself from listening to it too often because it takes me to such an untraversable place of darkness, and exactly like you said, the songs dictate my mood as if they’ve become forces of their own. I don’t know, it’s strange that we should feel so much pleasure in amplifying our pain, but I think it really is one of the most beautiful things of life.
Maybe because pain makes us "elligble" to receive comfort? And because we find solace in knowing that someone else (the artist) has experienced something similiar to us - then we are not alone. Or maybe it's the artist that receives your empathy, to the point that you feel close to him through his painful experience? Or maybe its more intellectual, about realizing how painful reality is really for everyone. And maybe this can be even motivating and sobering for us - we can forget our own troubles and pain and focus on those who have it worse. That is a way of coping too. Did any of these fit for you? I think it's all very subconscious and connected. I dont think its dangerous. I think it speaks to who we are and how it is to feel alive. Like you said, it's Beautiful.
I am going through a difficult phase at the moment, and I find myself listening to two Aphex Twin songs a lot, Fingerbib and 15 Sekonda. They both give me the urge to go on, no matter what...
Yup I can see why you would do that, there is something incredibly comforting about some of RDJ's music. Have you tried Syro? That album is so cosy to me, got me through a difficult period too.
no I didn't try Syro yet, I am just hanging around on youtube. Maybe not a bad idea, to really buy an album, but it will remember me of this period in my life forever, and I don't really know whether I want that...
4 and Fingerbib off of RDJ remind me of some great memories with people I can't see anymore. I'm going through a rough patch and I banned myself from listening to it until I feel better because I want those songs to remind me of better times. They're kind of sacred to me now.
One of your best videos. More hyped for Deep Cuts season 2 than any tv show.
I used to listen to angry/depressing music thinking it was cathartic. It was really just feeding into my depression and anxiety and now that I’ve realized it and stopped I’ve been feeling so much better. This was going on for years by the way.
I know these discussion videos can only really come about when there is something Oliver wants to talk about and finds interesting, and that is probably for the best. Nevertheless, these videos are always my favorite ones on the channel and I can't help but want so many more of them. Keep up the amazing work!
Really glad you're enjoying them Brandon, make sure you go back and watch my earlier discussion videos if you haven't already! I will absolutely continue to do them, they're a lot of fun :)
It's more comforting to be with someone who understands the pain you're in than someone who doesn't, I think music is synonymous
Im not usually the type to comment or join in discussions on youtube but I feel like my experiences might be able to add something to the conversation or at least be relatable to somebody. Ive suffered with moderate-severe depression and severe anxiety issues (social, mainly) and I would say for me personally music was the only coping mechanism that really worked. Even though I would say that im "fixed" now, I still struggle to walk around crowded places without my headphones on/in. Its probably important to note that music never "cured" my problems but simply using music as a distraction method helped lessen the blow that Id take when I was super anxious or depressed. If you are feeling in any way like you are repeatedly overwhelmed by things please dont just put on a good album, talk to somebody who will listen (Friend, Parent/caregiver, counselor, psychologist etc) and use music or other coping mechanisms simply for comfort.
Sidenote: It seems that most people listen to specific music to mirror or contrast whatever emotions theyre feeling. Is it really just me who finds the simple act of listening to any music I enjoy just as helpful as listening to emotional music that fits whatever emotion im feeling? Idk, maybe it is just me :p
Keep up the good work, I found your channel like a month ago and youre very quickly becoming one of my favourite content creators.
Funny enough, Nine Inch Nails - The Fragile (both Left and Right) is my comfort album. I've suffered from anxiety, depression and suicidal ideation for almost my whole life, and I've never really had anyone I could talk to about it. But The Fragile, especially with Somewhat Damaged as the opener was, and still often is, able to communicate the frustration, bitterness and desire to be more than I am than anything else, even moreso than I could explain it. Same goes for the rest of the album, it almost never leaves my car.
In many ways it's been my healer but also a way to dig out the ugliest parts of myself, have it shown to me, and force me to push forward.
in rainbows, a moon shaped pool- radiohead
plume valley- windows 96
no.3- dot hacker
I think that listening to yours albums in different sentimental states or situations on your life, makes a new perspective from those sounds you heard before. Those things happen to me when i'm listening to GY!BE - LYSFLATH or Kid A - Radihead. Music is an art, one of the best things a human being can create.
When I'm sad, I try not to put on sad music and indulge in despair. It happens sometimes, but I'm happier in the long run if I try to cheer myself up.
I listen to technical death metal at school to try to forget about my social anxiety.
I wonder whether that would come under 'solace' or 'discharge'? I would say comfort by the sounds of it, but I'm not sure. I suppose these categories are speculative more than anything, not cut and dried methods of thinking.
deep cuts Yeah, I think it's a bit of both.
My two favorite things: mental health and music! I think listening to music can be a safe, private way to more fully feel and express your emotional experiences, especially difficult ones. I can definitely relate to all three of the coping mechanisms you mentioned and end up using them at different times, depending on my mood and what I need at the time. Solace comes up a lot and feels like a way to be less alone in what I'm feeling, almost like the artist is empathizing with me. But like you mentioned, sometimes it's difficult to put my finger on exact what it is about the song/album that is so cathartic. But since listening to music is kind of a passive internal experience, I wonder if something like music/art therapy, or creative expression of any kind, can be more immediately healing because we are creating something tangible and effectively sharing or externalizing what we're feeling, especially if it's not easy to verbalize.
I'd be really curious to see a study that looks at levels of different emotions before and after using each of those three coping mechanisms to see if there's any significant difference! Fantastic video and discussion topic again! Thanks so much Oliver!
I would very interested in seeing a study that would take that approach too Christina, perhaps if no-one does then we should do it as a community!
When you used the word 'private' it made me think of something: what happens when you transfer the music you feel is a personal comfort to a live setting? What happens when that music becomes a shared experience? When I saw Nick Cave a few years back, though I loved it there was something strange about all of a sudden sharing that experience with lots of people, and I wonder if I subconsciously use Nick's music less as a coping strategy now because of that experience.
That's an interesting observation. I wonder, has that happened with other artists who you listened to as a coping strategy and subsequently saw live? For me it definitely feels odd sharing with other people something that was once such a personal and vulnerable state/time, though it depends on the artist and the style of coping I was using at the time. For example, seeing Run The Jewels live was still able to excite me and it didn't feel strange to share that with others since I usually listen to them as a diversion or discharge, while seeing Radiohead (for certain songs at least) made me want to retreat inside myself a bit and not be in a crowd with thousands of other people, since I usually listen to them for solace. That said, I also find that I don't seek out seeing a lot of bands live who I also use for solace - maybe also a subconscious aversion to not spoil my "personal relationship" with them?
I think the "discharge" thingy applies to me the most. When I'm sad I look for absolutely apocalyptically sad and dark albums, Godspeed You! Black Emperor - Lift yr Skinny Fists in particular. It's so dark and chaotic and at times dissonant, but there's always some "light" shining through, makes me feel like together we can overcome anything.
To answer the question of whether music being a healer or detriment, I would definitely go with the former. One of my go to records when I'm feeling lonely/sad is Grouper's Ruins. That album came out during such at a time where I had just started college and I moved away from my parents for the first time. I used to feel so helpless and alone back then. Whenever I would put on Ruins though I felt at peace. Liz Harris quiet vocals combined with the pianos really just soothed me and helped me get through those moments. Such a cathartic record for me, even nowadays.
Very beautiful record. So have you never experienced a record that almost hijacks your emotions?
Interesting that you seemed to release this video during one of the worst times of my life. I think I have depression, I'm not exactly sure, and for the past couple weeks I've been feeling more and more hopeless. I always love listening to music, I'd go insane if I didn't listen to at least one album a day. There are many genres I love listening to, but for these past couple weeks I've found myself exclusively either wallowing in depressing classical, ambient, or folk music or attempting to quell the anger I often feel towards myself with death metal, black metal, or grindcore. Most of the time I would consider this to be solace, but in times of intense sadness or anger it can be a discharge, a heightening of the emotions I feel until, by the end of this experience, the feelings fall back down and end up being much less intense than before I put the music on. In these ways, I have used music to cope. However, reaching the point where I can feel relief has become much more difficult lately. Those violent aspects of extreme metal that used to get my heart pounding no longer give me that feeling. The depressing albums I used to revisit when I needed a good sob no longer bring tears to my eyes. Just 2 days ago I started employing self harm as a means to get that relief, and it's working so far... but now I question whether or not music has actually been helping me this entire time. I feel as if the depressing and violent music I've exposed myself to so much has made me an inherently more depressing and violent person. At the same time, I can never see myself giving it up.
Some of Bob Dylan's slower, quieter songs like Tom Thumb's Blues, Desolation Row, Visions of Johanna, or Lady of the Lowlands have always created a melancholy atmosphere for me that is incredibly comforting to sink into when I'm not feeling great
I can see how Dylan as a vocal presence on tracks like that could act as a source of comfort for sure. It would be Cohen for me personally
My father passed away about 2 months ago and music was definitely a huge coping mechanism for me during the worst of it. Still is in many ways. There wasn't really a particular album but some artists that I had on repeat were Bjork, Depeche Mode, New Found Glory, John Coltrane and Dillinger Escape Plan. In a more general sense though for me 9 times out of 10 if I'm feeling upset or angry I tend to need to listen to music that aligns with those emotions. Though I definitely have had instances like the one you described with Benji where if I listen to those albums too much it winds up doing more harm than good.
The subject matter in some of your videos are so interesting, cant stop watching these!
Thank you for this video.. I found this interesting and relatable..
This is really interesting! On my Spotify, I have a different playlist for specific moods because I would find myself yearning for certain songs while feeling those emotions. While my music taste is extremely varied, I can say songs like Willow Tree by Spillage Village and That's What You Get by Paramore helped me through some emotionally difficult times. I think I tend to use music to inform myself about how I'm feeling.
Anyway, great video! I can't wait to see more from you.
I remembered that when my grandma passed away, I felt disembodied. I just stepped out of the room and put on The Link by Gojira. Maybe this was the discharge that Oliver was talking about. I just wanted to get away from these feelings as far and quickly as possible.
Two years have passed and I have not listened to The Link in its entirety; I've only put it on a couple of times before stopping, mainly because I didn't feel like listening to it. It was also because it triggered many of my memories as a child together with my grandma.
Listening to music can help us cope, but in doing so sacrifices later listens because of the fact that it can bring us back to past events. And I feel like it's not a good or bad thing; it's just another fact to accept.
It sounds like the 'discharge' method Melanie. I like that you say though you might sacrifice later listens by attributing certain music to an emotional time or experience, you feel ambivalent about this. There's no point in being frustrated by this because this is what music is there for in many ways - to comfort us and help us through difficult times. Maybe one day you'll be able to listen to The Link again.
I definitely agree that music can help us through difficult times. It's just that I may have to separate the memory-triggering aspect of music away from the music itself.
It's also the reason I can always go back to albums that I've listened to back in high school. I've had a lot of fond memories there too.
(Unrelated: I guess another factor to why I don't listen to The Link is because I prefer Terra Incognita, but it's just a small one)
When I got rejected by someone I liked a few years back and was feeling down, for some reason I would listen to Mr. Bungle - California a lot. I don't really know how to explain why that album, maybe it was just because it was what I was listening to at the time and then I began to associate it with the depressed feeling I had. Maybe the lyrics for Pink Cigarette had something to do with it too.
California is just a pure-positivity album in my opinion
So what's your stance on the feeling of that record Curly? Were you escaping from your feelings with it (SOLACE) or living vicariously through the emotions of the music (DISCHARGE)?
I guess at the time I was using the music to wallow in my depression (which would be solace I think?). I just remember laying in bed and listening to the album on repeat, wanting to just escape from reality. I just wanted focus on the music and the emotions I felt from it. The album sure does feel other worldly to me so it was easy to do that while listening.
Fiona Apple, extraordinary machine....
Got me through a real rough time
Turn on the Bright Lights is a deeply comforting record for me. Just a big ol melancholic blanket. I also have a constantly evolving playlist of just the music that gets me emotional. Stuff like "Katy Song" by Red House Painters, "Bankrupt on Selling" by Modest Mouse, etc.
My wife and I listened to Bowie's discography constantly while she was pregnant. Our baby Lazarus died almost 2 months ago, and Bowie continues to bring me Solace and great memories. The Cure brings me Discharge, and it feels cathartic, but it also doesn't feel healthy.
I started listening to Mindless Self Indulgence right about when i turned 13 and they changed my personality so much! I stopped being a wuss and taking life too seriously and then got into a ton of artists that were genuinely fun and/or interesting to listen to (before that I mostly listened to pretty awful generic pop punk/emo). Insane how much music can alter your mindset.
I feel music can be both heal you and be detrimental. My personal experience with this is when I'm feeling low I intentionally avoid albums that are dark and bleak, such as Joy Division's unknown pleasures, as they can make me feel even worse. Instead I will listen to The Smiths as the emotions Morrissey talks about feeling are the exact same feelings I feel and it reminds me that I'm not the only one who feels like this.
Another fantastic video by the way 👍
For me the kind of music I listen to can really depend on my emotion. However, I've used music as a coping mechanism in all three ways described. For example, a few months ago, I lost a few really close friends, but instead of listening to really sad music, I would listen to Coloring Book by Chance the Rapper on repeat just because it's such a beautiful and happy album. At other times if I'm feeling kind of sad or depressed I might throw on something that reflects my mood. Currently, I've been listening to a lot of Xiu Xiu in reflection of this mood. And of course, I often get out a lot of negative energy and aggression when I listen to something like To Be Kind by Swans, and often get a lot of my aggression out through the catharsis in the music I'm currently making. Over the summer, when I felt lonely, I would often listen to BROCKHAMPTON's SATURATION as a diversion, or maybe put on some Flatsound as a solace. It really just depends for me.
Altar of Plagues - Teethed Glory & Injury. Pretty much my favourite record for this reason perhaps. I just put it on, lie in bed and after its 50minutes is over, I feel good as new.
Just so invigorating, I believe it's so important to let and accept yourself to feel sad sometimes. Gets you over things super quick when you just don't feel so pressured to be happy 24/7.
Bruhhh, Burnt Year gives me serious chills and shakes my shit every time.
Bright Eyes' "I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning" was something that calmed me down a lot last year whenever I was feeling anxious about graduation, and Arcade Fire's "Intervention" was a song that i listened to a lot when my father was hospitalized.
also the Persona 3 OST makes me cry every time i hear it lmfao
I think music can help the listener or make them worse. It really depends on the person. Not everyone is gonna be able to listen to depressive suicidal black metal or some post punk bands and gonna come out fine. It can really affect you. I remember listening to the caretaker for the first time, and it really messed me up.
How do I use music? I like to listen to lethargic or melancholic stuff when going through seasons of depression or self doubt. The melencholic melodies and painful vocals help me realize I'm not alone, and people go through the same things. When in a state of anger at myself or others I like to listen to really angry metal or even some noise. The agressive riffs or agressive atmosphere (in case of noise) helps me let out this rage in non damaging ways.
When I'm down or stressed happy melodies and upbeat songs do not help. I've never really been able to describe why.. I just really take comfort in slow and melancholic music.
Also
Albums that have helped me:
Lifelover: Dekadens
Sadness: Close
Këkht Aräkh: Pale Swordsman
Bathory: Blood, Fire, Death
Pink Floyd: The Wall
God is an Astronaut: All is Violent, All is Bright
Thanks for the insightful video Oliver
Thanks for watching!
Legend
Can's Tago Mago is the album that pulled me out of depression
Laura Marling’s Once I Was An Eagle & Jonathan Wilson’s Fanfare got me through a tough time during the Fall of 2013. I clung to those two beautiful albums as a lifeline and a calming mechanism. However, the downside of this is that I can’t listen to either album any longer. Brings my back to a painful period that I have moved on from.
woah man, fantastic video!
when i was going through my breakup phase, i listened to a lot of music, just to get me to stop stressing out and thinking too much. i feel as if that was not the right approach as i got fatigued after a very short amount of time and thus it ended up being a lot worse than if i had consumed music not as much lol.
i chose mostly electronic or ambient music or idm in that time and some albums that have especially stuck with me after that personal experience. also a lot of james blake. so generally pretty calm stuff. can’t imagine loud music cuz i feel like that would make me feel more stressed
they might or might not have saved my life, i honestly don’t remember lol.
Katatonia's 3 albums: Last Fair Deal Gone Down, Tonight's Decision and Discouraged Ones. I recommend their first 7 albums but especially these 3 for times like these.
There comes a time within everyone
To close your eyes to what's real.
Great video :)
While this doesn't entierly answer the question I used listening as well as making my own music as a part of my grieving process when my grandparents past away. I made this ambient piece and after I had rendered it I conciously deleted the project so that I wouldn't be able to change anything once it had been completed, just as I wouldn't be able to go back and change anything so that my grandparents would live again.
It just is the way it and making sure that I wouldn't be able to alter anything in this piece of music I had made was a way to wrap my head around the "point of no return" thing. I still go back at it a few times a year and I'm still happy with it, but a lot of probably has to do with under which circumstances the piece was written.
Very nice content as always. Keep it up man.
That's something I hadn't considered talking about actually, the process of actually creating music as a cathartic experience. It's also a beautiful story, I'm sure your grandparents would have loved knowing you created something in their memory. Do you make music often? If so how did the ambient piece you made differ from your normal work (if at all)?
Oh yes, I make music constantly. Back then I was in a progressive metal band, which was an outlet for feelings of a more aggressive nature, while the ambient piece was softer and lighter in tone than anything the band made. I had done some electronic stuff at home just for fun for a year or two already at that point but I had never considered making ambient music before they died. After that it just came naturally as I had been listening to a lot of Sigur Rós and Jon Hopkins during that time.
I actually had plans to make it a triology, but I haven't really done so much about it since I lost some of the material. It relied a lot on giving up control and just let the music "breathe" through whatever layers of sound I had. I would just sort of stack them and see where it went.
Nowadays, I'm in some sort of progressive rock/indie/pop band. We're called Solar Machine and were formed in March sometime. The inspiration comes from like Radiohead, Simple Minds and stuff like that.
So it really depends, and this video made me really think what it is about the music that I love that makes me keep coming back. I find that I don't ever really relate to lyrics as often as I can relate to melodies and the atmospheres that certain songs/artists/genres can create for me.
For example, I listen to mainly shoegaze and Jazz for similar reasons, in that, I find that they both require me to actively listen to them in order to get the highest emotional response from them, and ultimately enjoy my experience. Shoegaze, for me, tends to be more drawn out, and I have to actively think about what I'm listening to and as a result, calms me down. Whereas, Jazz makes me think about the band and all the stylistic techniques I've picked up over the years. Both styles, to me, require a certain level of patience from me to really get the fullest effect, and it helps me since I typically am an impatient person.
Now, I do understand that all music, to a degree, requires patience to fully enjoy it. I think that why we enjoy different music, obviously has to deal with the timing of everything. How you've been raised, the qualities that your parents taught you, or that you picked up from your surroundings, who was involved with the certain music, etc. For example, I will always love Michael Jackson's 'Thriller' and other music of that sort of genre, as it's comforting and reminds me of the stuff my parents put on when I was little, while still allowing me to enjoy the actual work that was put into making this music. Or, I would say I listen to Shoegaze a lot because that's what my friends and I would listen to, and it reminds me of those great memories, while still being able to supply me with a feeling that not much other music can give me.
It's great that you've addressed the relationship between music and emotions (esp' sadness) in this video. When I read the story behind 'Coventry Carol' and then listened to its mournful lyrics and gorgeous minor chords, I found it sublimely beautiful. I listen to it often and always find it makes me want to be a better person..
I 100% agree with you view on a record holding you back from the golden moment of moving on. I too went through a rather traumatic breakup and Brand New's "The Devil & God Are Raging Inside Me" was the record I could go on a late night drive to and feel in tune with. It was also the one that I could come home, throw on the turn table.. laying on the couch and existing within. I saw so much of myself in those songs, but that was the problem. That record is filled with such a sheer amount of malice and brooding self hatred that I was in fact, wallowing. I took a break and would listen to artists like Oasis, Ryan Adams, and others. While most of their songs do deal with sad subject matter, in terms of sonic structure and arrangement, they were easy to digest and allowed me the facilitation of getting away from the part of my head that I didn't enjoy. "The Devil & God.." has become an important album to me. I can now return to it and reflect on who I was in that moment, and recognize why it did what it did. That's beautiful in itself, and I'm happy there's artists that can create things so vivid and relative to the listener.
You could say that I use music as a constant coping strategy against any shape of stress that might occur during the day. I use music almost as a type of stimulating diversion, which could be likened to an addiction. Now that doesn't mean that I'm stressed all the time as the diversion that music causes usually helps me focus on myself or something I need to do, or puts me in a sort of meditative state. It helps me while working, to keep out the buzzing from people walking the streets, it even helps me sleep at night. I guess some people would consider that dependence to be somewhat damaging but since music is such a big part of me I don't really mind.
Now when it comes to what I listen to that usually doesn't matter as long as it is something. Of course the choices are dictated by what I'm in the mood to listen to, but since my mood really doesn't fluctuate that much it really doesn't matter. It wasn't always like that though. I recently got out of a 5-year long depression and looking back I can see that a lot of my favorite albums then had some sort of somber theme to them. I was coping with something entirely different then, and since we usually try to find something we can relate to while listening I chose to listen almost exclusively to depressing music. Usually that meant a lot of Nirvana, especially In Utero. It also meant that I listened to some angry music too, like Converge. With these types of emotions I consider music to be a really effective tool to express your own feelings through what your hearing. With depression though, it's really difficult to say. I guess you could say that Nirvana, Chelsea Wolfe and Southeastern by Jason Isbell gave me relatable comfort through those rough patches but I also know that some of that music made me wallow in my pain and made me think that I belonged where I was emotionally then. So I think there is some danger in concentrating your focus too much on something that might have a negative effect on you. I don't believe in censoring provocative art to people, so the responsibility is all on you whether or not you want to expose yourself to that or not. Now when I'm feeling occasionally sad I tend to listen to something that drags me down but also lifts me up, so I can have that catharsis and then get myself out of it. Untrue usually helps in this case. And when I'm feeling angry I still listen to Converge to kick that wall's ass!
I'm not really quite sure if I made any sort of sense with what I have stated but these were the thoughts that came while I was writing this shit.
This channel is bloody brilliant, I just love your content! I use music as a coping mechanism far too much; it's more or less my therapist. I listened to Burial a lot when a close loved one was dying. His self-titled, Untrue and that Massive Attack remix he did give me chills every time. Burial's music has this intoxicating, haunting beauty to it that on the one hand can exacerbate my sadness but also comforts me when I'm alone. His music evokes a strange feeling that no other artist makes me feel.
Music is very contextual to me. I like to tell stories with each playlist that I make, essentially soundtracking an actual movie that’s playing in my head...with distinct character arcs and themes that have to cohesively flow and be expressed. Without some type of character/narrative framework in mind, it’s often difficult for me to fully enjoy a song. And songs played in the wrong context genuinely sound off to me.
The release of The Cure’s Wish coincided with the worst break-up of my life. Was 40% of what I needed. Thanks for the help, Robert.
One of the most interesting videos I've seen. I believe music really can be used to heal, but at the same time, there needs to be some level of understanding that not all feelings of catharsis are necessarily beneficial.
I prefer the solace and discharge methods to diversion when coping with negative emotions through music. Escapism can provide temporary relief but it sometimes just feels wrong to me to listen to something so distant from my current mood and I often feel even worse afterwards, having to go back to the depressing reality.
Albums that really help me cope with sadness/depression are Deafheaven's Sunbather, Isis' Oceanic and Panopticon, HANL's 2 albums, Radiohead's OK Computer/Kid A/In Rainbows (haven't gotten around to their other albums yet) and pretty much everything my second favorite band Agalloch has ever made. Especially albums like Deathconsciousness amplify my sadness while listening to it but I tend to feel better afterwards, it's sort of like your soul is taking a shower. To cope with anger, I love listening to Swans' music (especially their later work), Tool's Lateralus/Ænima and occasionally Death Grips among others. There's nothing more cathartic than To Be Kind.
Also, pretty much all post-rock/post-metal I've listened to is great for finding solace.
Some nice tastes there Lateralyst, Deathconciousness operates in a very similar way for me - though it is achingly sad, it's one of the most cathartic records I've listened to. Whereas Dan Barrett's Giles Corey project - whilst great - is too dour for me in situations where I'm trying to 'cope'.
Thanks! I've listened to parts of Giles Corey and feel similarly. Not only is it too dour to really find comfort in but it's sort of hard for me to relate to/resonate with because I (almost) never feel that depressed.
I use music as a coping mechanism a lot, but I have particular albums for it. If I listened to some of my all time favorite albums too much as a coping mechanism then I will start to only associate it with that certain emotion and thus won't be able to listen to it anymore without feeling that emotion. I listened to Eminem's Marshall Mathers LP so much back in middle school to get me through hard times and now whenever I hear it I just think back to those times. Nowadays my go to albums are Weezer's Pinkerton, Earl Sweatshirt's I Don't Like Shit I Don't go Outside, Muse's Origin of Symmetry, Nirvana's In Utero, or American Football's self titled album. This is when I'm feeling more angry or stressed out about something because the emotion behind all of those albums really speaks to me in times of need. If I'm just straight up sad then I find that sad acoustic music is more helpful, so I'll listen to some Elliott Smith or Nick Drake
I guess I just have different types of music to cope with different emotions and certain albums have just become such a staple for me that I can only listen to them in that context
I was coming back from the beach with my dad while suffering from depression, still wasn't taking medicine at the time, and suddenly hoppipolla by sigur ros starts playing and I just become an absolute waterfall. Afterwards I was feeling better for the day. So yeah pretty great.
That's definitely one of those very high-emotion tracks isn't it. Hope you're doing well Lucas
This year I've stopped taking the medication, feeling really good! Thanks dude, your channel is great
I heard a lot Pink Floyd and Porcupine Tree at one point. I still do. But for sure, in retrospect, I indulged in the state (probably not accurate but close enough) rather than letting music "cure". One of the crucial things in our lives is identity and I think music helps us finding our identities during tough times. To this end, if I had to relive my state, I would probably listen to Pink Floyd and Porcupine Tree all over again.
Dhafer Youssef (Birds requiem) - It was playing in my car when I was taking my cat that I had for 11 years to the vet and he died that night. It was a big loss and I mourned for months and I would always find comfort in this music. It was also partially because of the Middle Eastern element, as I had my cat when I was living in Jordan and he was always a reminiscent of that period of my life. So this music today is always associated with my life in the Middle East, my cat and so many other things that happened in that period.
This is a great discussion. There are songs I avoid when I'm angry so that they don't push me over the edge, and when I'm sad, I choose music that's melancholy but not too sad. Sort of a controlled catharsis.
Definitely more of a solace person. Never understood people trying to cover their emotions by playing something happy because to make that makes it worse.As far as a specific example the most recent one is "Blood on the Tracks" by Bob Dylan. It is famously about the demise of Dylan's marriage and the album has such a tender, confessional quality to it... I guess its not surprise it helped me if not heal, at least cope during some seriously shitty times. Its such a warm, humane album you automatically feel like you connected to another human being listening to it, which really is the core of the reason music can be so comforting.
I listened to Alice Smith's "She" during a breakup and felt it got me through that rough time. I think it depends on the person, and all those theories you mentioned are all perhaps true at some point in our lives.
I used to listen to emo metal when i was feeling bad, then I discovered Kero Kero Bonito. Completely changed my life
I kind of feel like a way music may affect me negatively is by making me overly emotionally vulnerable. Albums like Carrie and Lowell or Either/Or are great for telling us that its ok to feel weak, but I carried that too much into my life, breaking at any opportunity, almost as if its good to be weak. Its difficult to find a balance, as any way of thinking projected by music (emotional or even political) can be taken to an extreme. Its strange how music I`m listening to during a week can affect how I live my life, following a different musical message almost exclusively week by week (e.g. one week I`m trying to reach out to everyone I love because of Pinegrove`s "Old Friends", but the next week barely coping and believing that perhaps life isn`t something to enjoy after hearing The National). Not very coherent, but those are my thoughts
I can say on my own behalf that music is alongside workout the best natural antistress tool. Since I discovered music making and all its perks I've been a creative addict trying to figure out what's next and what really attracts me. Its a great exhaust for afterwork hours. Just getting this one idea out, getting in zone, trying to figure out what does this melody, rhythm, line mean.
After getting the idea of becoming big out of my brain I could easily roam around the genres and just doing whatever the moment feels like. As a big sports fan up till 21st birthday I can really say that music changed my life 180degrees. Get into art without any ambitions and you might discover a side of yourself that you thought it didnt exist. Its there, its fun, its helpful.
Pip from KK
p.s. keep up with the good work, you're doing well.
Lovely video once again! I love psychology and music and the relation between them. I would love a series of these!
I feel as if coping with music can be both considered a healer and a detriment, mainly depending on what type of music you're listening. Take for instance the genre shoegaze, particularly the album Soulvaki by Slowdive. To some it may be a more uplifting and somewhat nostalgic listen with songs like Machine Gun if we're using specific examples. Another song like Dagger or Alison may offer a much more drearier and gloomy listen.
I find my own musical coping methods to fit with soluce the most. Clearly due to the fact that my mind can have conflicting thoughts on a specific piece of music at a different time.
Albums that capture a certain emotion I commonly consider to be my personal favourites. For example: In Rainbows by Radiohead creates a very bright and comfortable listen due to the soft textures the album is built around. On the complete opposite spectrum, an album like The Downward Spiral by Nine Inch Nails can construct a genuinely disturbing and un-easy listen but for the right reasons as the album intends on being that way. Over all, I do find this topic to be quite interesting.
It certainly is a great topic for conversation isn't it? Souvlaki, as you say, could be seen as traversing a number of different emotions, so you might feel different ways throughout the course of the album
I agree, it's definitely album which can express different emotions throughout the album.
I discovered The Ooz by King Krule one day back in 2018 when I was laying on my bed, watching the sunset. Those dark themes and topics about love and idleness somehow found a way to connect with my soul (if that's the appropriate word to use). Listening to that album transported me into a deep dark hole that made me realize all of my flaws, faults, and furthered my regrets (slight depression). But at the same time, I couldn't (and still cant') stop listening to it. It's so beautifully addictive, and it comforted me when I had nothing else.
Ultimately, It can be hard to listen to The Ooz at times, especially when I'm in a good mood. Since it's my favorite album, I don't want to stop listening, but I also don't want to be held back by those heavy emotions I felt years ago. It's like a drug. It would be hard, but I can go without listening to it. But once I listen again, I instantly lose all my progress in my emotional growth, only to be depressed again.
Listening to Untrue and Kindred by Burial is almost a weekly if not daily thing to do at this point, also Moderat - ii which I've had on repeat, Milk and Versions are masterpieces. Both albums make me really emotional and help you cope late at night
What do you think it is about Burial's music that means it operates so well as a coping strategy for you?
it just works its magic during the night, i've never listened to his music once during the day unless it's archangel that's playing. For an album without many words and just vocal samples, Untrue sure has a way of making you feel like your walking around town at 3am all alone.
Hey Oliver! Have you heard Vision Creation Newsun? I'd love to see you speak on anything Boredoms-related
I absolutely have, I'm sure it'll be covered on this channel at some point ;)
I always loved listening to music (and playing instruments) but since I started working in an office it has become a tool for me to keep calm and unwind. After two hours of meetings, smalltalk and discussions my mind is usually grilled and I become pretty nervous and twitchy. Listening to artists like Radiohead or Burial, be it just for half an hour, really resets me back to a sociable state. Music has become an irreplacable tool for my daily life and I'm so glad it exists.
After my dad died unexpectedly last year, I found myself listening to the album Age of Ads by Sufjan Stevens a lot. It's an album that I'd never listened to before, and that I'm now pretty much unable to return to. The music is very much unlike Stevens' usual angelic folk sound, it's chaotic, bombastic orchestral and electronic sounds mixed together. Confused, but emotive. It pretty much mirrored how I felt. It allowed me to project myself into the music, loose myself, be outside of myself, get a place where I could release everything that I couldn't put a name to. Now, hearing the first few notes of any of the songs gives me such a sense of unease that I have to stop the music immediately.
I think that music as a coping strategy can be beneficial. But, it can also be used to lock one in a mood (depressed/excited) when it might be healthier to change moods. I have had my fair share of songs that have helped me get over a breakup, or a death, or even to fight my fear and accomplish a goal. Just like anything else, it's what you make of it.
Loveless by my bloody valentine is an amazing comfort album
Few hours ago I had a 3AM mental breakdown and put on F#A#infinity on headphones and just let it go over me. Turned the lights off, literally only heard this wonderful music. It was perfect. Fell asleep for like 5 minutes during The Sad Mafioso and after the album I had power to stand up again.
Gorillaz- Plastic Beach and M83- Hurry Up We Are Dreaming are the two albums that I always find myself coming back to during times of stress. I think it's because they remind me of my childhood the most and my childhood was almost stress free. Or maybe it's some sort of nastalgia.
i listened to the glow pt 2 too much when i was depressed and now i can't listen to it snymore
Eric Boyd Something similar happened to me with Xiu Xiu's Forget. I listened to that album quite a lot in the time in which it was released, which was a shitty time for me as well, and now I can't really listen to it anymore. I keep reminding myself of those shitty times with that album.
Porcupine Tree's Stupid Dream and Lightbulb Sun for me.
Thank you for making this video, what a great subject to discuss! I'll put in my 2 cents. When I am feeling awful, I actually can't find myself listening to music. I avoid it. I just know that listening to it will bring me back to a time that I never want to be put back into. And all of my music that I do try to listen to sound completely different and weird! Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb" sounds horrific to me; because I had so much anxiety at the time, listening to it makes me have an upset stomach and just a bad shaky feeling. It's an incredible song, I just can't digest it. When I'm fucked up, all of my music has a weird taint to them, and I am so out of focus and up and down that music is no longer a calming thing, it's just another brick in the wall of anxiety. 8-J #420Blazeitpls 8-J
I definitely feel the most aligned with the discharge method mentioned, and when it's something that really gets to me, the music often does push me into being a total mess for a while.
For some reason I have a deep passion for music half of my day consists of me playing my favorite music when I talk about how much the rhythm or the beat is so well put together they don’t understand, it’s been a huge coping mechanism to get through the struggle I deal with on the daily
Music is my drug I'm constantly searching for those hair raising moments it could be the solo on Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd.... Without Warning opener on DOKKEN's Tooth & Hail, I'm not an elitist, but I know good shit from the bad shit.... And some of the stuff you've recommended have either been great highs or literal trips through hell, and I'm all together a better person for experiencing it. Whitehouse scared the shit out of me, but Have A Nice Life I found to wickedly beautiful, they were the American answer to nearly every cool British band I've ever dug. Much love.
My comfort album is Harry Partch - Delusion of the Fury. It's so warm and smooth.
If I'm sad, I find it almost impossible to listen to all the music I would normally listen to, it just doesn't make sense to me in the moment. There are a few artists that I always put on and a few albums I can only listen to when in that mood. The best example for me is Colin Stetson and Sarah Neufelds collaboration: Never Were The Way She was. Other than that I really like Mount Eerie's Clear Moon. It's not that these albums help, quite the contrary actually.. Yet it feels like listening to those records is the only Thing that makes sense when I'm really down. Thanks for the videos, keep it up.
When I listen to music as a method of coping, I often find that it puts me in a sort of spiral. Similar to the discharge method that you explained here, I'll listen to "Haunt me ( x 3 ) by teen suicide, and I just miss certain people in my life that I know I'm never going to have the same relationship with again. Knowing that it's always going to be different, and it'll never be that strong intimate connection that we had before. It feels like I've moved past that stage in life, and when I listen to that song, I want to have it back so bad.
However, when I write music (usually just lyrics and a guitar, it's all I really know how to do) I'm deeply entrenched in those same emotions when I'm writing, singing, and playing. I kind of just allow it to take over me. Instead of spiraling, and putting a track or two on repeat, I'm feel a release. I feel like I'm laying out my emotions on to a page, and singing and playing them out into the world. And by the time I'm finished I feel so much better. It feels like a form of catharsis.
So typically for me, when I use music to cope, I start with the base emotion that I'm feeling, I listen to others people's music that I can project my own feelings onto, and when I'm about to break, I can write it into a song. In a sort of burst of creativity I suppose. It feels like letting go after I'm done.
I know that this is a little all over the place, but I figured it related, and this video came at a very interesting time for me. Great video as always Oliver, thank you.
That's interesting, I wonder if listening to music would feel more like a release to you if you didn't have the creative impetus to make music?
I have used music as a sort of coping mechanism sometimes, but I found that it ruined some songs that I previously enjoyed. Although the usual case with me is that a particular artist or album will remind me of a timeframe or some other thing in the world, not so much getting me through the present day (Random Access Memories reminds me of 2013, Duran Duran of summer, Queen of my childhood, Pulp of uni entry exams, etc).
I'm currently in a somewhat troubled state of mind, and indulging in as much music as I can find (on the bus, on the street, at home) has helped me get through day by day, so you could say that music is my coping mechanism for life itself. Whether it'll be good in the long run I don' t know, but I'm still up and running right now, which is what matters most to me currently.
Frank Ocean's Blonde got me through some rough times, not just lyrically but also sonically. Tracks like Skyline To and Self Control encapsulate the feeling of relief for me; the parts where song really opens up and becomes very loose and grand resonate and relax me a lot. Shoegaze provides this feeling for me in spades too - music that feels almost detached from reality, that has an ethereal quality to it. In the case of some of the heavier shoegaze tracks it's almost like a baptism of raw sound that helps wash bad emotions away.
Blond has come up a few times in this comments section, and I can absolutely see why. Do you think there's something about the very intimate portrait Frank paints that makes it such a source of solace for many?
Definitely! The intimacy alongside some of the quite dreamy production in some parts just gives it a relatable, homely feel in some ways. It always feels comforting to listen to, and in one case I genuinely cried whilst listening to the lyrics due to how much I felt they related to the situation I was currently in. I'd say that is probably the main reason why people find solace in the record honestly - it walks the fine line between personal over-indulgence and relatability very well.
Tindersticks got me through a lot when I was younger.
I find that making music is better for coping whilst, concerning listening to music, I definitely fall heavily into said "discharge" category.
I know someone who never listens to anything but pop (k-pop particularly), but used metal music to cope with a traumatic event which I found quite interesting. I had a similar experience to the one you had with a breakup and listening to a record while dealing with it. For me it was Bowie's Blackstar which, like Benji, isn't about a breakup necessarily but still at that time I could not listen to Lazarus or Dollar Days without just crying my eyes out lol