dodie & Kati talk about derealization and depersonalization
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- Опубликовано: 14 окт 2024
- I'm Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!
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You can tell that Dodie is a songwriter by the way she explains her symptoms xx
I know right!?!
Aw it was so cute when Dodie said "I've recently found a therapist that I really like" and Katies whole face lit up😭😭 I love how much she cares abt mental health it's so nice
Right? 🥺🥺
"I made a rhyme in my head along with the sound of the click to calm my self down"
Dodie you're so adorable
Oh wow I have read about derealisation and depersonalisation before and it was so nice to hear from someone who is affected how it feels and what their experiences are. The way you two put it into context made it much easier for me to understand the disorder. Also, Dodie has such a special way with words! I love both of you, thank you for sharing this truly amazing video!
If you like the way dodie is with words her book comes out on November 7th #spon
Yay!! I am so glad that our conversation made it easier to understand! xoxo
It's so nice to hear someone else talk about having it. It's a really lonely disorder to have sometimes
Sometimes when I am in a room with more than two people it feels as though my brain gets overwhelmed and I sink into this depersonalized spaciness where I don't talk much or interact. Funny because I work at a restaurant and am incredibly bubbly and talkative. But when it's personal time, I don't know: something changes. Happened a lot when I was a teenager. I'm in my early twenties now and I find it's still happening - even so, it happens when I'm alone now, too. So strange. It makes me have little to no productivity some days, because I just get to lost in an emptiness. How Dodie explains her trying to wake up, or open her eyes more - I feel that way sometimes, but I feel like it's different; I have pretty awful sight, so sometimes I don't notice right away, because without my contacts everything is already out of focus. It's tough to recognize, but my brain gets so lazy and shuts off. But it comes and goes. What can I do to better ground myself?
Same thing happens to me. It's like I'm overstimulated and then find myself in a bubble unable to communicate with the people around me. I can't talk or follow conversation. It's like I'm on another plane of existence. I find it helps to focus on physical sensations. I play the 54321 grounding game a lot (name 5 things you can see 4 you can feel 3 can hear 2 you can smell 1 good thing about yourself), and that's helpful. Sometimes if I'm feeling "stuck, like I can't move bc I'm not in control of my body, it helps to focus on moving just a little bit (like moving my fingers, tapping my foot, stretching my arms up over my head etc). Any kind of movement or physical touch helps get me unstuck and I feel more engaged. Hope you find something that works for you.
I have some videos on grounding techniques.. here's one: ruclips.net/video/1vckMPHaITA/видео.html But wearing a rubber band can help.. paying more attention to how you feel and when it's getting to be a bit too much. That way you can take a quick break and ground yourself before you go away completely. xoxo I hope that video helps too!!
Gave it a watch! Thanks so much!
For me in groups I considered that to be selective mutism but I can see how depersonalization or derealization symptoms can overlap with that.
You actually changed my life.
For I think about four years ago, you made a video on this topic and I remember I started crying when you, an actual therapist, explained that this was a real thing and I wasn't going crazy.
For so long no one listened or believed me when I tried to explain. At first I tried covering my questions with jokes like "hey, you know that feeling when you forget who you are" - and when they didn't I just laughed...
For a while I just wandered in this dream world until I couldn't manage an asked my doctor for help. She just looked confused at me and referred me to a psychiatrist who was more than convinced that I was schizophrenic. Even though I was missing a lot of critias to meet that diagnosis.
I just couldn't find any explanation for what was happening to me so I believed her.
But then I found your video! At first I was relieved and thought that now I could get the right help.
Boy I was wrong!
Turns out that because I was "branded" everything I argued or suggested must be a delusion.. So for now I'm out of treatment options.
But I'm trying to find a different way to cope and I might find a good way some day.
I just wanted to say, that it helps me tremendous amounts to know what is actually happening to me, and that I'm not alone!
From the bottom of my heart - Thank you, Kati! Thank you!
(I hope you understand what I'm writing. English is not my first language and touch keyboard, you know)
Anya I hope you are feeling better. And I also have it:-(
Are you better now?
just went through hurricane Irma and I'm using the little battery I have left to watch this :D
I hope you are okay!!! Sending thoughts and prayers your way! xoxo
The way I like to describe my depersonalization and derealization is it's like instead of choosing fight or flight when I have anxiety about something my body chooses freeze instead. That's actually the third response you can get in a situation like that. It's why people who have lived through trauma sometimes don't remember what happened or they dissociate during the event.
Exactly!! I talk about this a bit in our video on dodie's channel :) Thank you so much for sharing this :) xoxo
my mums!!!!
Adding to what Dodie said, in the UK charities are a GREAT way to access therapy if you can't afford private rates. Especially look out for local charities. After I was seen by the CAMHS crisis team, they referred me to a local charity called The Lowdown. They found a therapist for me within 8 week while I've been on the NHS waiting list for a year and I still haven't been offered anything. My last session at The Lowdown is on Friday. It's scary but it's incredible how much it's helped me and that's all because of a charity!
Thank you so so much for sharing :) xoxo
+ :)
I've also had fab experiences with a local charity and would really recommend people look into that kind of thing! I see a counsellor at The Birchall Trust which is a Lancashire-based charity specifically for survivors of sexual abuse. I've obviously been very lucky in finding a charity that specialises in that way but I'd definitely say it's worth looking into if there are specialist local charities, because having a counsellor who understands so much of what I'm experiencing without me having to go into it in detail all the time has really helped me :)
So so happy you took the steps necessary to get well! Much love brother
Stay strong guys, never give up, you are stronger than depersonalization
I get this in episodes... usually a few weeks to a couple months at a time.
The last time I had it I had this instance in the shower where it really escalated for a few hours... I felt like my body was foreign and I was trapped in it... crazy stuff man.
Just remember, it’s just a feeling, you’re okay, ignore it and enjoy life to the best of your abilities. Whoever is reading this, know that I care about you and hope you recover soon :)
I am 13 and I‘m sitting here in my room living my life day by day but just don’t really live, full of stress and feel so knock out, crying because idk who i am and waiting that its going to be better KILL me inside!!! The thing is I KNOW that this isn’t normal and the way I say that to me everyday, that broke me everyday a little more. Suicide isn’t a choice for me because I know what i am going to lose and what a Wastefulness this would be for my future life. But the hope that it all going to be better that keeps me up everyday. I love youre content!🥰 It really helps me to find a part of me or to understand myself a little bit more!! Love you 😘 😘
I've had DP for 33 years, it goes up and down, but never away. Try many meds and lots of talk therapy.Think learning to love myself and be ok who I am is helpful. Just so wish it could go all the way away.
When I started feeling like Dodie described around sixteen years old, I thought that I was just an unfeeling robot, or stupid, or watching too much tv, or all of the above. When my grandmother died, everyone else in my family reacted, it seemed, and I felt very guilty for... not. It is strangely vindicating to discover that maybe I DID react, and maybe I DO feel things and I'm not some kind of insensitive horrible person. I just deal with things through mental illness... yay!
I've been dealing with derealization most notably since I incured a concussion 3 years ago in addition to being in an emotionally abusive household since I was four (now 19). I've self-treated by vehemently rejecting my past as valid and have developed a hyper-extraversion in order to establish strong positive emotional relationships and memories to fall back on in the future to ground me. Having regularity to the people I see (work helps with this & my weekly guitar lessons) has given me stability and continuity for the past four months to where I no longer am as troubled by it. As far as I know, my derealization stems from going through multiple divorces as a young kid, switching schools leaving me with a chronic sense of abandonment. In my adult life, I'm not flamingly passionate about establishing a rich sense of community for myself and those around me and making those I'm involved with feel their existence is entirely essential in the environment we interact in.
"I'll try this, and it WILL WORK." -- Me, with everything I try, always.
I feel like I take too much of a 'break', and use my Dissociation as a sort-of excuse to not do things.. People are mostly aware that I have Dissociation but it's not something they can properly understand, neither is it something worth mentioning every day?! I think it's just hard in general because your brain has 'excused itself' from all the stress you've been through, yet you end up being more stressed because of it and trying to balance life..
A phrase I got off Jenna Marbles about days of nothing is that ‘It’s nothing but it doesn’t serve for nothing’ and that really helps me to take days off without as much guilt
wow i have had this issue for years, all of my life... didn't know it was a disorder, but it saved me from a lot of abusive times in my life, and now that i am in a healthy relationship i find myself struggling with depersonalizing with my husband when i feel overwhelmed in a conversation. luckily he knows that i need to process and i will come back and finish the conversation when i can process again. it now takes me about 5 mins to get myself back to reality, where in the past i lived in a fog and out of my body for years.
I am so glad you and Dodie made these videos. I suffer from derealization and depersonalization caused by PTSD and I am so glad that there are more and more resources out there for people like me. Thank you so much.
I HAVE BEEN WISHING FOR THIS COLLABE FOR THE LONGEST TIME OMG YAY! Dodie is so inspirational , and Katie i wish u were my therapist
Watching the mental health panel at vidcon had me in tears the entire time because it was so raw and accurate and it made me realise how many people could relate to my experiences
I means so much to here people talk about this because sometimes when I try to explain it to people who don't go through it I feel like I'm making excuses but stuff like this makes the world of difference.
I have this but never realised until dodie talked about it. I had the guts to talk to a doctor when I realised I wasn’t going mad. Thank you dodie for being so open
The NHS can be incredibly frustrating when it comes to mental health for adults. When I went to seek help last year I was told I would be put on a nine month waiting list. Thankfully, I had the resources to go privately. I really feel and fear for those who cannot afford to pay for treatment though. Thank you for this video! Informative and Dodie I love how far you have come in terms of trying out different treatments through trial and error. Keep on creating informative and helpful content Kati, and Dodie I'm so grateful for your discussion on mental health.
An explosion of wholesomeness.
this really helped me, i constantly feel derealization and i didn't even know what it was and it just felt terrible and crazy, i'm so glad i know more now. thank you !!
I can't really say I'm having it on %100 or ever did, but there are just times where everything kind of goes still, feelings go quiet, and I feel like I can't see the things the way they were used to be so I try to open my eyes more but it doesn't work, same with breathing as well, just feel like I'm missing something. I've been watching Dodie for a while now and she is just wonderful and I realized what I was feeling were an actual thing, not just a part of who I was. And this video helped me even more! So thank you both for making such a wonderful video about this topic, it really means a lot to me.
i'm so glad that people like you and dodie are bringing these issues into the light. over this past summer, i struggled with depersonalization, and i didn't know that there was actually a term for it until dodie started talking about it. i'm so glad that she pointed us over to your channel! i can tell it's going to help me so much!
I found your channel through dodie today and I am so happy about it! I watched some of your videos and the way you talk, the things you talk about and the way you explain them is amazing. I already feel safe watching your platform and i feel like i have an e-therapist. Thank you a lot!
Yay!! you are so welcome! I am glad I can be a helpful resource :) xoxo
kati is such an angel
Wow, now I am crying. I got that spaced out feeling when people got angry or when the signs of anger came up. It wasn't nice at all, because all I could do was just stand/sit there and suck it up. I couldn't even properly speak anymore. This hasn't happened in about a year now and since the last time I went to therapy to try and give my traumas a place in my head.
It worked, because they were incredibly specific, to the point where I can remember to the detail what happened at certain points. It was domestic abuse/violence by my dad over the course of sixteen or so years. And for half of it we had no clue why it happened (this includes him) until I got my ASD+ADD diagnosed and it turned out my dad had it too.
My parents got divorced eventually, which finally got the rest of the family a chance to recover.
I can totally see why familial circumstances would leave traumas and am sooo Happy Dodie, that you are trying to find a treatment (or treatments) that works. You deserve it and it is a fital part of the all important self care.
All the love
I too have this, and it very annoying so I'm happy that there are more people out there with this
I'm honestly so happy I found this channel bc I've always wanted to be more educated about mental health and illnesses, (lol thanks dodie for introducing me). I'm really enjoying all this content!
An antidepressant caused my depersonalisation, but each to their own, psy tapping and meditation helping my dp, I'm uk based also
I just wanted to say thank you for making this video, it educated me so much. I honestly can't believe i didn't know more about it before. I also think having a personal POV (dodies) as well as a professional POV was so helpful to try and understand both the causes and the experience. My friend has derealisation and hopefully this video will mean i can help and support her better.
p.s. dodies music really helps her feel understood and hopefully this video will make her feel less alone too.
You’re such a great person for doing that for your friend. No one has ever cared when I try to explain this and they don’t realise that this is my whole entire life and perception of reality. They just think it’s every now and then and not a big deal. Props to you, I wish I had a friend like you
It's interesting how my wifi stopped the video at exactly 6:10.... 😂 #sixoutoften
Everything that I feel finally makes sense. I feel so relieved.
Dodie looks like such an amazing person to hang around with
I saw you both at the mental health panel at VidCon last weekend, and I thought it was so somgood. I suffer from anxiety (which can cause depression for me), and have for most of my life, and being able to hear professionals and others who experience similar feelings was really inspiring and informative. So thank you so much ❤️
You also now have a new subscriber, Kati!
Hello, Kati! I'm so glad I found your channel through Dodie! I'm a psychology major and I'm super sure your videos will help me further understand what I'm studying! :D
This is so helpful! I deal with depersonalization but I have never gotten a clear and concise explanation of the differences in between depersonalization, derealization, and dissociation. I'm going to share this with my therapist this week, I think he'll like it. Thank you so much, you've been a great help :)
Hi there.... I am appreciate the way you share your experience with general public regarding dpdr and on how to recover from it. It's a great job! A thumb Up from me......
That sounds like it could be really scary! thank you for stepping up and talking about this. I love dodo's music!
It's so nice to see you having a relaxed conversation about mental health without it being analysed too much, also to have it explained in a down to earth way ❤️
OMG this collab is too pure
Dodie your explanation of your experiences is very similar to mine. I feel like I can't open my eyes wide enough. At first I thought I needed glasses, but I found it did not fix it. I do feel more like in a dream than I want to be. Thank you for sharing.
for me i got so bad that i couldn't deal with it anymore so i decided that i would do ANYTHING to get better. and the medicine has done absolute wonders for me
Oh man, two of my favourite youtubers together, I love it! And on behalf of all MH professionals in the NHS, Dodie, we're very sorry for the long waiting times!
Hey Kati,firstly GREAT collab with the beautiful Dodie,Secondly I really appreciated being able to sit in on your mental health panel at vidconAus,Thirdly Thank you for everything you are doing in regards to Mental health. I have PMDD(actually on zoladex right now in lead up to surgery) social anxiety,depression,lupus and fibromyalgia. I have a wonderful psychologist now and your videos have helped so much that after watching I make a little note to discuss it over with my psych to see if she thinks what I am thinking for myself based of what I have learnt from you.
I'm so glad to see you both in a video together at the same time. I love you both so much. I don't have these diagnoses but I do have PTSD from lots of severe and repeated things, so can relate. My brain gets so fuzzy and makes me feel really confused and useless, it is like it is protecting me from thinking too hard: I worry that I’ll lose myself to the guilt and despair and I’ll never be able to function again. I hope that isn't oversharing- I'm just so glad you guys put this stuff into words x
So happy you guys did a collab!!!
What a collaboration!! Never could have imagined this collab! This was so insightful and a wonderful conversation to watch. Thank you Kati for your fantastic videos and information and thank you Dodie for your wonderful honesty and music xx
Collab with Dodie!!!!!!!!! This is everything I ever wanted 💞💞💞💞💞
DODIE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND IM SO GLAD U GUYS DID THIS COLLAB
I love this and the video you guys did on dodie's channel ❤️ that k you bringing awareness to a part of mental health that isn't readily available to most people :)
My faves collabing and talking about important shit 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️
P.S. Can we all acknowledge how much Kati's shirt brings her eyes out 😍
DODIE, I LOVE HER SO MUCH. I am a huge fan and i am so happy to see my fav 2 in 1 video
She is such an angel!! I have been listening to her music for two years now and I am so glad you got to meet her. Love you both!!
THE DUO I NEVER THOUGHT I NEEDED
i found your channel when i got the notification for the video on dodie’s channel and i’m so happy i did
I like to take a bath with a book. Sitting still stresses me out more. But the bath makes me relax and the book makes me stay and not stress out
Two of my favorite youtubers! Together!
ahh, you just visited our school. your talk was super interesting, i learnt so much! thank you very very much for coming (and also for signing my vidcon pass!!).
You're welcome & thank you for having me! 😊 I was happy to come visit!
AHHHHH i totally get dodies description. its like shes describing how i feel. (especially when she says its like living in a dream)
what's the thing when you feel constantly tired and your there but not really there... it's hard to explain
LIZ FULLWOOD
It could be a symptom of derealisation, depression or even anxiety. The best thing to do would be to talk about it with a therapist, because there are many symptoms that can go along with many disorders and it can get a little confusing lol
I hope it works out for you! xx
It could be part of derealization/depersonalization as well as depression. I would talk to your doctor or therapist about this so they can properly assess what's going on :) xxo
Katie, I had depersonalization and derealization. It is a result of trauma (the freeze response). Basically all of the energy rushes up to your head, causing all of the detachment. The autonomic nervous system needs to reconnect with the brain. For me, I payed attention to every sensation in my body 24/7 without having an opinion about it and the energy discharges. It takes some time, but it clears. Aka resourcing or somatic therapy. Dodie can get immediate relief.
i love dodie, her music has been helping me through a really tough time
Kati, I wish more people would try Esketamine clinical research studies. Esketamine was given to me in an i.v. solution and in a nasal spray. These two studies were enormously helpful in turning my depression around 180 degrees.
I'M SO HAPPY THAT YOU TWO COLLABORATED! ❤️💛💚💙💜
YAYYYYYYYYYY SOOOO EXCITED FOR THIS COLLAB!!!!
These are live saving collabs, dodie my favorite and wholesome artist and a super awesome and kind pshychologist comforting me about my disorder :)
ahhhh - I can already tell this is going to be heartfelt and sweet
I feel like derealization especially may trigger suicidal behavior. That's why it's such an important topic to bring up! Thank you both ♥️
It's so relieving and helpful to hear this. The last year has been terrible, without going into details my girlfriend (I'm not out lol) has been diagnosed with cancer. I've not been able to talk to anyone about it because my parents don't know she exists. My mother could have a reoccurrence of cancer cells and my brother could have some sort of tumour. Basically, its been a rather traumatic time. 'Little T's' from childhood and a combination of the 'Bigger T's' have sent my brain funky. I'll look in the mirror and very often feel what I am seeing doesn't reflect me. I didn't realise that this has a name. I've become a lot more anxious and almost fearful in general- if someone says they've been to the doctors I fear the worst. I guess everything's either black or white? I don't know, I think a combination of many things have meant my brain isn't very good :). I'm trying to talk to my parents about me going to the doctors about the anxiety. It's not like a 'AHHHHHHHHHHH' but it's stopping me from doing things. Anyway, thanks for any help
Dodie Is amazing! this subject really speaks to me. thank you katie and dodie
So. I have both depersonalization and derealization and so does my mom, she refers to it as "brain fog". But for her it's a bit different. The cause of hers comes from adrenal and thyroid fatigue, so for her a huge diet change (found out about a wheat allergy) combined with some other treatments help her TREMENDOUSLY. But for me it's definitely more in my head. I've found that I have some other health stuff I have to sort out recently too.
But my point is that if you're having these issues to make sure you explore all the possible causes. If you're going to therapy and it's not working try looking for other causes or vice versa. Don't get stuck or discouraged if what your doing isn't working.
Good luck and stay safe :)
Thank you for making this! I have depersonalization/de realization, but also BPD. I would love to see someone with borderline personality Disorder talk about what it's like for them. I've watched your other videos on BPD and dissociation. I know everyone is all so different and there's a lot of comely occurring illnesses with bpd, but still would be nice to see.
As soon as I saw dodie's video I absolutely had to come follow this channel 💛 much love
yes!!! Love both your channels, so glad to see that you were able to meet in person!
so i've been watching dodie for forever so like i've seen all her videos where she talks about this and i guess i never really processed the difference between derealization and depersonalization but hearing how derealization is more about your environment and feeling all dream like and it just hit how often i feel like i'm in a dream or disconnected from where i am. and then even sometimes i feel a bit more of the depersonalization side of things and it's just weird because i've always written these things off as depression but maybe they aren't...
Saw my 2 fav youtubers - clicked immediately!!! Saw you were on a panel together and hoped this would be coming ☺️
Thats a good explaination, I describe it as like being drunk too, drunk with the cosy fuzzy feeling replaced by pure emptiness and a complete lack of joy. I've just started Prozac and have Diazepam in reserve to lower my Depersonalisation symptoms because the Psychiatrist didnt know if it was anxiety or depression underlying it. I've been in a constant deteriorating state for 1 year and 2 months now. I was in group therapy under the NHS before this and I'd space out because the group caused me anxiety which I'd said before, my therapist decided to stop the therapy and when I pleaded for one to one I was denied. Because of my previous trauma (childhood emotional neglect) it triggered worsening symptoms and a year after I was discharged I ended up with Depersonalisation. Not only this, but because my therapy was taken away, so were my benefits which made my DP even more severe. Life in the UK 2017...
I've been waiting for this collab for so long.
This is so so interesting. Sometimes I have moments of delrealisation but very minimal, not to the point of it being a condition at all. But it reminds me of sometimes how I get these moments where I'm walking and everything sounds too loud and I kind of feel spaced out and there but not there, like I just feel weird. Luckily it passes. I heavily sympathise with those who have to deal with this as a condition.
I have been waiting for this collab to happen! I love Dodie and Kati so much. :)
wow I didn't even know that dodie and I experienced similar things! I'm so happy to have found this so now I can go to her channel after so many years and try to feel validated because I can resonate with a lot of the things she said :')
first time ive come across you dodie and i just wanna say i really love your attitude and your makeup is so pretty!
Your voice calms me so much!
You two were absolutely fantastic on the mental health panel thank you both for taking part ❤️ consider myself subscribed!!
I've been waiting for a collab with Dodie!!
so great to see you two together in a video! also really love your shirt Kati!
This was really informative and helpful in a way, I don't specifically have this but I like to learn and I'm glad that this video was made. Thank you so much
You are very welcome!! I am so glad you found this helpful and educational :) xoxo
Wow this is exactly what I've been struggling with for 9 yrs persistently.. there are days were I feel super anxious and depressed. I have my days were I don't pay attention to it as much..I only don't notice when I'm having incredible day! It's crazy because I find myself being so confused! Confused about who I am. I feel like a spectator.. like my mind and thoughts belong to many parts of different ppl. When I'm shopping I'm so decisive on what I what. And making decisions are overwhelming.
Out of curiosity, do you know what was the cause?
I'm so glad you two collab'd! I've been waiting for agessss!!
awwww yay it's Dodie!! Love you both so much, you're amazing!
I love this, Dodie explains it so well and it's great to see all different types of dissociation are being talked about more now, love you guys, keep doing you
I love you both, I'm so glad you made these together
Tbh I was skeptical as to whether this even existed, but now a professional therapist has described it, it seems easier to understand and easier to empathise with.