Just deleted my Hinge account last week. Was getting over 50% initial response rate on matches, but was constantly getting ghosted or unmatched within a few messages. I've gotten well over 100 matches in the past 4 or so months, but have only managed to go on one date. (and my profile has hardly changed since pre pandemic when I was actually getting dates) I've been getting the sense that nowadays, EVERY single message I send has to be perfectly crafted, both interesting and playful. Because any time I get lazy and respond too quickly (aka engaging in normal conversation) results in a big, fat ghosting. Just feels like walking on eggshells with online dating, where one normal message, not even a BAD message, will result in a game over with that match
Sorry to hear you've had that experience.. If you read some of my real life interactions, it wouldnt' feel perfectly crafted at all to be sure.. But sometimes we can have 1 or two bad habits in texting that will just kill us... IT does suck that the selective pressure is so strong on men when it comes to online dating.
same. Normal conversations result in ghosting. This is the fatal flaw of online dating. If you're getting 100 matches, you're way more attractive than most, and you play in a different tier. Nevertheless I bet your 'league' has a huge problem of ghosting regardless how hot you are. Hot guys ghost hot girls, and vice versa. Just a clusterfuck.
Same exact experience. I used to take days to message them because I had to craft the perfect message or I would get ghosted. I’ve also learned that your conversation should NEVER be standard questions like how was your weekend? What do you do? Etc. guaranteed ghost. It’s a never ending cycle because your always thinking “all it takes is one” but the same pattern repeats over and over again. It’s not worth it so I’m going back to real life and social circle.
It took me a whole year to break 100 and not one even date lol. It’s just so weird to me, because I’m not even close to unattractive either, and when I meet people in person its so much better than online. I really need to make some tweaks to my profile, and figure out what’s up.
"Walking on eggshells" describes it perfectly. It feels like the whole dating experience is getting skewed more to a competitive extreme lately. Maybe I've just had a rough patch and I really appreciate Damien's instinct to always point to things that you can improve, but we need to acknowledge the landscape as well. I'm comparing to early 2021, when the OD apps actually blew up during the pandemic - it felt like women had a lot more patience and were more involved in the process (and it was still far from a pleasant experience). Now the experience feels like a continuous screening process where they're looking for reasons to reject you at every step. It's very strange and definitely not fun.
I decided to give hinge another chance after deleting it maybe 4 months ago and it’s absolutely hilarious. Still see the SAME women from a couple months ago. I matched with a couple of them and they never reached out. They’ll be single forever lmfao!
You don't know that, they're probably banging multiple guys at once. Women get way more matches than we do - that's a fact. They can pick & choose easily whereas we get a few matches and have to work hard in order to get one person's attention
Ah, bear1830, you're still there for at least 'a couple of months.' What's the difference? Women know how ultimately you will treat them by how you treat other people, especially other women. Even if they never see you act badly in front of them.
Lmao the same happens pretty much everywhere, same women and they don't want any men, they seem to use these apps only for that instant gain of satisfaction that they got picked.
Totally agree on the first message thing. You need to stand out without going too far. That being said every first message I ever received on bumble “hey”.
Yeah I love how much more I had to work to feel I am giving something really interesting or even comment about something in a image. I just hope other women notice this before it too late.
That’s why I put on my bio, “Tell me something other than hey, ladies”. Then they started messaging me other things lol. But once in a blue I’ll still get a “hey”.
Whats annoying is you can see all the profile info before swipping.. and the idea of competiting to be noticed is absolutely ridiculous and I find that being unnessecary juvinile and a huge turnoff
@@iceicejay9569 don’t know what to tell you, man. Attractive women are going to draw the attention of multiple men. If you just want get by on your profile that’s up to you, but you put yourself at a disadvantage.
The main issue is women get too many matches online so they can only respond to a small percentage. Online dating was good 6-7 years ago. Way harder now than approaching in person.
I love public approaches, they're the best. I've had failures and successes of course..but I notice the problem is most people are on their phones nowadays so that makes it impossible to reach out. If I am in a public place where meeting is possible (park, cafe, bookstore, bar), then its easier..but I never approach when the context is inappropriate (like walking up to a random girl crossing the street who has her headphones on).
True! Is overwhelmed for women especially is you are attractive! There are a lot compliments, I don’t take them seriously but some of them make me smile, one told me, “wow, you are the cuter, you must be getting a lot of attention” that make me smile 😅 and I was dude, you don’t imagine, but I don’t have the energy to respond to all of them, so Zero, nada! Do you know to who I answer first? Those that I feel attractive too, or wrote me something nice or something related to my bio, those that say “Hi”!I don’t even bother! 🙄
IT could be they're angling for somethign sexual - and you are being too friendly in your response... It could be that you're taking too long to get back to them... it could be a number of things - you'll still always get some degree of flaking online of course.
😅 i don’t message guys much. And I never say something like that! I just say something related to their bio, some answer and then ghost me, some take forever to respond, I really don’t like messaging guys I always do Likes only!
It’s a full time job to respond to EVERY message, we get over 1000 matches if we’re even slightly conventionally attractive so I usually don’t respond to anything that’s not exciting. Even if the guy is super attractive and just says “hey” I won’t respond because I usually give some bait for an interesting conversation in my profile
Women, can get away with saying hey on bumble,but when we do it. We come as boring. I usually don't respond to heys. And I bluntly state on my profile. However- women still do it. Women are awesome savages!
Sometimes the matches happen by mistake. one (B) swiped right by accident, but the other (A) swiped right intentionally. Now they are matched. Imagine A who was intentional, curating a great first message, pulling in information from B's profile, only for B to unmatch because this match was an accident. I don't know why people feel the need to have elaborate first messages, when they're not even sure if this is someone they wanted to match with. A simple "Hi, how are you?" Is ok. And if you get a response, then you can talk about things on their profile, then you set up date.
7. Because they can. There are no repercussions for not responding, so she will not respond. If she feels some pressure to respond - be it fear of missing out or something else - then she will respond. Yes, it's basically the same "standing out" effect as you talked, but this point of view is helpful for me - visualize which woman would have incentive to reply instead of ghosting, and target this type of women (using your niching strategy). And this point of view is also liberating - a lot. It's her who didn't have the urge to write something in response, it's not that I'm bad and worthless.
So question - wouldnt' this strategy mean targetting women that other men aren't interseted in talking to? And if you used that strategy, wouldn't that prevent you from meeting the kinds of women that you're likely to want to speak to yourself as a member of the male gender?
@@SchoolOfAttraction I don't think so. A woman can feel pressure to respond not because nobody talks to her (there is no such woman in 2022) - but because she sees an opportunity to talk (and, in future, meet, have sex and have relationship) with a man that she likes more than the average man she is matching with. It should not mean "low confidence women" either. It just means that the "basic behaviour", the path of least resistance, is not doing any action - and for her to pick a behavioural strategy that leads to expending time and energy (i.e. writing a response), she needs to have an incentive.
Probably less than 10% of girls reply to my opener on Tinder, and that's with me not opening too sexual, not having turnoff photos, having a cheeky but normal bio, etc. To get a 50% reply rate is unheard of for me. I'm at my wits end with dating apps. Been using them for years and slept with over 90 girls from them, but from 2022 onwards I started to notice I wasn't getting any traction at all.
Sorry to hear that mate - There are a lot of variables with online dating - it's possible you're mostly swiping right on fake profiles (I see some guys doing that) - or that you jus taren't good looking enough to perform well on Tinder (you need to be average or above) - It can be lots of small things, and yeah this makes it INSANELY frustrating.... The satisfaction rates for men and women online are disturbingly low, so don't feel too bad about yourself for these results, you're in good company.
@@SchoolOfAttraction I don't think you read my comment. I've bedded 90+ girls from dating apps. I'm not 'below average'. I was merely pointing out that results seem to have fallen off a cliff since last year.
I did, my apologies if it seemed lik eI didn't... Things have gotten a lot more competitive than they once were... 7 years ago, it was shooting fish in a barrel, a monkey could get laid on Tinder - Not trying ot call you a monkey, just saying that for sure things have gotten WAY harder - and you have to do everything WAY better to get results compared to before.
I dated 8,5s in 2018-2021 - 2022 was a personal embarrasment on datingapps, and the fact people still pushing these godforsaken apps even though they know how rigged it is against atleast 95 % of all men, is mindblowing. Its the science of BS, and I would go so far as to say these apps main function today is divider and conquer - enhances female hypergamy by 100 percent, and at the same time crush mens self esteem. Perfect situation for the powers that be, more and more people being rootless consumers.
Yeah most would - I mean - it's like saying - most guys flake on women on online dating - they're terribly unreliable - but they won't flake on the super hot 20 year old ;) I mean when someone has something in INSANE Abundance - you tend to behave better in the hopes of not missing out.
i think the biggest problem is that women have to deal with too many matches and messages, and they feel overwhelmed. In person, these "boring" first responses are just fine. So unless she is already super interested in you (she got a laugh from your profile, not necessarily that you are super hot), 5% chance you'll make it past 2 messages. If she doesn't get many matches herself, then her response rate is higher. I have a humorous profile, and I get comments about that. Even so, few chats last past 2 messages. The bar is set way higher than IRL.
This for sure. The ppl at hinge are trash for this reason. Why have girls with overflowing inboxes and guys with nothing ? It makes no sense and hurts everyone in the long run. Hinge boosts female ego and shatters the male psique. So unbalanced and it just doesn't have to be that way
1,000 personalized, conversation starter messages, specifically avoiding standard boring openers and women still ghost you.....Attempts 1,001+ (sigh) "Hey, how's it going?" (Contemplates deleting app)
As a bisexual woman, thank you for this video on both sides 😂. Definitely agree with everything you say based on my experience receiving matches from men. I still can't work out why the same profile that works well with men doesn't work with women because I have the same problem with 95% women not replying after we match. I wish a queer woman would do a queer version of this video.
Yeah this would be amazing - I'd actually really like ot interview a few single lesbian or bisexual women on my podcast to talk about their own experiences dating women
And then there are guys who both mass-swipe right AND also ignore you because they think they are too good for you. They learned from these women. Both types of people need to be devalued in society. Straight guys have it worse so I support them, except for when they mass-swipe to the right. GAY MALES ARE NOT OPPRESSED IN SOCIETY.
Men significantly outnumber women on dating apps. Men are vying for few slots in the dating pool. Not worth it unless you are extremely attractive. Id rather go the organic route and join some institution/class that puts me in contact with more women/people in general.
I might be suffering from the distance thing but I always try to pick something from the bio that I can connect with and talk to someone about. My annoyance is that there will be matches and women have to make the first move on Bumble and they say nothing. Or I have a decent opening line and they might say something but don’t follow up at all. Women need to get better at communicating just as much as men. The good ones are out there and they’ll intentionally back off with 0 effort to know the person they swiped and matched with.
I am a 22 year old guy who has been using Hinge since June 2022 and only got 14 matches so far and I use the free version. Recently, I was matched with a 19 year old girl with whom I had been chatting for 2 weeks but her replies were slow and she unmatched me after I asked her out for a coffee. Then I got matched by another girl who is also 22 year old but she completely ghosted me. Then my most recent match was just 3 days ago by an 18 year old girl who will be 19 next month. She is a 2nd year college student with a late birthday and I am a 4th year college student but her replies have been mostly one word and she unmatched me yesterday even before I could ask her out probably because I told her I play video games every weekends but idk.
And then there are guys who think being unmatched is better because it "doesn't leave them hanging"! They go on subreddits and tell women that that's what they SHOULD do to be MORE courteous! People who ghost or don't even reply are much better than people who UNMATCH or BLOCK you, because they don't do it as a ~courtesy~, it's because they find you SO repulsive that they want you as far away from them as possible. They couldn't believe they ever swiped right on you. They WANT it to be known DIRECTLY to you too that they find you DISGUSTING. You are easily DISPOSABLE, they won't even consider you a backup plan.
Have you seen hot guys' chat logs? I bet most are boring as fuck, and they get ghosted as well. Hot guys might get an extra response, but if they don't have top communication skills, girls probably get bored fast as well.
Some are... but some are pretty decent - I've had hot clients who struggled, becuase they were boring as sin - but it's true that they don't have to work NEARLY as hard on the quality texts... This is more apparnet when they're younger, once they get towards 35, it starts to shift.
To any guy trying to revive the conversation use Copy/Paste this: Open airway and check for breathing / perfrom 20 chest compressions & and give 2 rescue breaths / shes still unresponsive / beat on chest screaming "DONT YOU DIE ON ME" That was me performing CPR on this conversation
When you have an abundance of options why not go for the top one out of the bunch? when men have so little options we have to be desperate and take what we can get. it’s not like that with women. it’s more similar to shopping and they could select the perfect produce with the perfect features to it
I wish I was picking perfect I am more force on a man I can some what relate to. I likely don't know who is the top one and likely too aware of the not many men to women. >_
The irony is that when they all chase the top guy, the girls get ghosted too. So they all leave emptyhanded. Unrealistic expectations + low effort = fail.
@@kkp4297 and that ladies and gentleman, when you finish that train of thought to completion, is the main reason behind the fall of civilization we are currently going through
As a woman who started using Hinge a few months ago, I agree with most things in the video, but definitely not the point that women are only glancing at the profile photos & prompts, and just matching. Maybe it’s not the majority (I have no idea), but for me, there are a few things I’ll check on the profile before matching, bc why match with someone only to not talk to them, or have majorly incompatible areas from the get-go? For example, I’d look at - distance, yes - if they smoke even “sometimes/socially” (dealbreaker) - whether or not they want kids (if it’s a no, then I get that I can’t change someone) And definitely it’s a quick no to the “wanky” photos hahaha. But to each their own!
Yeah to be sure there's variance in how men and women both use online dating - for example, I ALWAYS read a profile before bothering to swipe right, but most men don't - men are even worse than women at this in general. I don't know your age - but this might also be age related in that - women over 30 on average get more relationship focussed they are sick of wasting their time on dates with no potential so they can become more focussed on details before swiping right - When I did my original research on this I was purposely focussing on 25 year old women which was the average age of women most of my online dating clients were dating.
@@SchoolOfAttraction Ahh that makes sense :) And you're spot on, I'm 31! I agree with the variance in habits between men/women and also age groups, and probably also personality - I likely wouldn't have swiped on people randomly if I was using the apps at 25-ish either. I just don't get the point of matching for quantity in the face of a clear dealbreaker, unless you're not in it for the long run. Thanks for replying :)
#2 and #4 are my worst enemies I HATE taking photos of myself And I’m significantly better in person …. 😢 I think ima just wait or delete and remake my profile to get some quick matches 🤷🏾♂️
I had a woman interested and she saw a picture I took in the mirror she thought my ring on my right hand was a wedding band. I tried to explain subtly that it's in front of a mirror, but she'd already labeled me as a cheating husband.
Lads, if a woman rejects or passes on a future with you because you have a picture holding a fucking FISH! Stay single! You will have to spend the rest of your life NEVER making a mistake. Chose peace over a lifetime of trying to be someone you are not.
timely video. I can get a response at first, but then the chat dies right after that. They don't have much to go on, and you try to talk about their interests, but they don't know how to talk about their interests, or they are not interested in talking about their interests. Weird huh.
Its honestly like tiptoeing over a fucking minefield when talking vs waiting in an er queue for a reply its just torment. Thats why i just use canned openers.
it seems this is becoming the new modern trend, i don't think it was always like this, because i'm sure it wasn't like this hundreds of years ago or centuries ago, but its the new modern thing for guys, men, to seek help from dating coaches or pick up artists on how to meet and attract women, successfully interact with them, because i read this statement from someone who used to be a dating coach, but not anymore, the statement was: "Do you think over a 100 years ago, centuries ago, generations ago, guys, men, needed a dating coach for help in order to meet and attract women? Oh Hell No, this need for assistance and help has only emerged very recently"
I mean yeah - I agree 100% - but our culture doesn't foster boys having an abundance of time spent with older males - there's not 'life mentorship' that boys receive in modern society. The same thing happens with male Chimpanzees who spend critical years with low tribe interaction - their sexual advances are wonky and weird (for chimp standards) and they're almost always rejected.
Yup I can relate to this I have gotten 2 matches in hinge one girl said spamming first then I replied and nothing back and the other one I started the convo and no response makes no sense to me
The funny thing is, if you say "Fuck it, I'm going to confront the chick on it and say something like 'Oh great, another person matching for no reason.' or 'Why do people act like this?'" women will automatically turn it around on you like you're in the wrong or have some kind of mental problem. Oh, I'm sorry, you're right! Humans TOTALLY think that long periods of silence indicate someone is really really interested in you! Crazy me! Women don't seem to understand that if they want to date someone, it's not a good idea to give the vibe that you are completely uninterested, and yet you chose to match, and then choose to respond back to me holding you accountable as ME being in the wrong. It's just fucking amazing. God forbid men do this to women on apps though, then the sisterhood comes out, complain about men together and support one another. Women can NEVER accept responsibility for themselves; they are the most self-absorbed group of people in the dating world.
Women don't owe you anything, so it seems super entitled. Think about it, that woman may be planning to reply to you and then you say, thanks for not talking. Its enfuriating because you've just lumped her in the same category as everyone else and that is NOT a turn on. I'm on this video because I am a woman trying to date Women on tinder and I am getting the same issues now as men. Am I mad at Women? No. I'll keep on trying and I won't take it personally at get butt hurt and think no Women like me because I'm not a giant wuss. Sorry.
At least 2 hours I am from any matches, frustrating as all hell, this happens just about every time. Very elderly population where I life on the south coast NSW, single woman down here there are a few but they’re in very high demand and most of them are not my type, more educated people in the cities also.
I'm considered high value in every way and now I just match with women and never text them. Payback is fun. And yes, I do have the looks to be an instant yes but IDGAF. You want to know how to stand out most? Don't text and they'll know they're not that high on their own mind's list.
Who cares what she thinks? As a man, you speak if you want to. If she is not down to do what you want, you don't want her anyway, so cut her off and tell the next woman you find attractive what you want. Respect and submitting is what she should be to the man to keep him or she can stay on her own for life.
Haven't watched this yet. Here are reasons I don't reply. When I'm in a horny or lonely mood I'll match with someone only to later realise I'm not interested. I like their face but after we match I read their bio and find that: we may not be after the same thing, we have no matching interests, something feels off, something seems like a red flag ect. When we begin speaking they sound like a dick. They begin a conversation, "Hey Gorgous", they call me the wrong name (how?), they offer dick pics, they are immediately sexual, they get funny with me for not replying to them fast enough (come the fuck on), they seem domineering or aggressive. I stop replying if, I meet someone else in real life and I delete the app, I just had a bad experience on the app and don't want to continue being on it, I've decided to date the opposite sex (bisexual), or a list of other reasons. People need to not take it personally, I don't if someone doesn't reply to me. People you don't know don't owe you anything at all.
Oh cool a different room your recording in. Is it a youtube room for youtubers? Sorry I had to comment this 23 secs in to the video. wait it is a green screen and only just notice now at 2.30.
Haha yeah - the only reason you can tell too is because I had to make some compromises I usually wouldn't - for the record my past 10 videos or so have also been green screen, I just took a photo of the old backdrop and used that so nobody would realise I had changed location - I had to change my room around and don't have a good backdrop now. Since you can't really tell now when the green screen is done right, I'm just selecting a better backdrop to use full time.
@@SchoolOfAttraction I am amazed I not work it out in your other videos and only notice it in this one. I am likely more looking at you and listen. Thank you for saying. Keep doing these great videos.
Some of the best women I've dated lived far away, in a densely polulated country and region. Easy women that need easy men, yes, they need a short distance. Anyway, most women swipe short distance only, it takes someone traveling and swiping (or paying the app to "travel and swipe", to get a match.
Better ask for a date or number faster, too much time wasted chatting leads to ghosting. Anyway aproaching women in real life is better, builds confidence and resilience. Online builds nothing just frustration most of the times
Hi Damien, what about the new looking for feature on tinder? What I usually do when the conversation goes there is to say that I am not looking for a long term relationship but I'm open to it with tje right person, which is the truth. This often goes well also with women who prefer ltrs but are open to casual (most women I've met), if the vibe is ok. However I'm sure they would have swiped left had they read it on the looking for feature. Should we leave the feature blank? What do u think?
I have to do some more testing wtih it as yet... Historically, admitting ot wanting casual on Tinder caused you to get poorly ranked so you'd quickly lose a lot of matches. BUT maybe they've fixed the algorithm to accommodate this?
Isn't it insane how much we worship these creatures, waiting like little puppies to be picked by the master, sitting tests to be approved by a stranger, on eggshells so we do and say all the right things to the Queen, this is insulting and degrading us guys, Stand up men, we can do better than this.
It doesn´t have to be 1 or the other, use both, get a good bio, good pics and yes use some enhancements, females have been doing it and still do, play in the same ball park. Go out and just chat with someone you find interesting. Looks can also be deceiving to those who only go by that.
Girl here haha, i came here to see whether or not I should do this lol! It’s my first time on tinder and I’m scared to start a relationship (that’s why I’m scared to answer 😅)
Well yeah - it really shouldn't HAVE to be said - but in mens' defence, when you get so many rejections over and over again, AND you're nervous as hell because normally men have to put in all the work in the initial phase of an interaction - it's sort of hard to keep track of what aught to be 'obvious' anymore.
Honestly, I think its the age demographic. If I set my preferences to 24 to about 30, I get way many more matches and convos vs my age preferable age range which is 18 to 22. For context, Im 21.
none of this points describe the true nature of their acts. Its very simple, they are talking to several dudes at the same time and the fact that she changed rythm and speed means that she is willing to give her attention to the other Dude which unconsiously , she is already choosing to be the correct one. Simple as that
Woman get the exact same Problem of having a match with is never responding to text messages. I don’t get it. You tell that guys don’t get as much matches as woman? Why are you guys never responding than? I only give a like wenn i see myself spending time with the guy. Having matches wo never respond is a big disappointment
I only don't reply to women if I didn't realize they are unattractive before matching with them. So when we match and I take a good look at the rest of her photos and she is actually fat in the last photo (angle frauds in the previous photos to make herself look slim) then yeah I'm not gonna reply to her.
I’ve noticed something funny on tinder in probably the last few months … Basically lately every single girl you match with will just immediately unmatch when you say hi or not reply at all I know this is common but I used to have much success with the app up to about 3 months ago (thousands of matches) now it just seems the number of matches I get is completely throttled down to basically 1-2 a day and the ones I do match just unmatch straight away. I’m platinum and use boosts regularly. Advice?
Interseting, I haven't seen this myself, or in guys in my FB group with clients - I mean I haven't seen an immediate change with this happening a lot. The match throttling I believe is very real - and it's a GREAT change imo - it spreads out the limited number of women on tinder to a greater range of men . So I'm not so sad about that change. As far as women instantly unmatching... it could be fake female profiles? Or it could be something in your profile turning them off? If you haven't changed anything at all though - it's an odd case that I can't easily comment on without looking into it much deeper.
@@SchoolOfAttraction thanks for the advice I reckon it’s possibly that my profile is now pretty old (current account was created about 3 years ago) so I probably would benefit from a refresh and new profile On hinge before I got banned I had thousands of matches also and much more new matches every single day. For some reason I keep getting banned off hinge. Also I should add that on tinder I have it set to incognito mode which probably means my results are not as good as they could be.
Heh actually there was research I left out that showed that the more attractive a woman was, the more she believed the man should pay AND the more attractive a man is, the more likely he was to believe she should pay half. So chads are less likely to pay on dates with average women, but with hot women it's going to be a stalemate :P
I totally disagree! I normally don't have a hard time meeting chick's on a random here and there outside Silicon Valley. Date sites have gone through an evolution, where at this point, the woman has experienced so many repetitive messages that it no longer matters zero substance regardless what you say. For most women dating sites, Are strictly for ego And reassurance to maintain ( their fragile confidence. Not all, but many) They have become extremely picky, knowing at any point that could have any guy, even a basic average, looking women. due to the attention that men have given them through a time. Imagine the rules were reversed and we were getting that amount of attention by nature, we will have the same behavior. We be extremely just as narrow with who we decide to chat with. It is unnatural for you to message Somebody that you have never met & you have no idea who they are and try to impress them with words. It is no different than approaching somebody in the street/ coffee shop/ mall. You simply say hello, You don't run into somebody and right off the bat express poems. Solution Boycott all women by mass from dating sites for 1 week. Watch how many messages you'll get!
Let me save you some time before watching this video because my advice is shorter than 8 and half minutes. They don't reply because you're not good looking. Take your new found wisdom and conquer the world!
Nope. 1 woman can find you good looking and another not. Only a slow woman thinks a man's looks is end all be all. She hasn't even heard from him to see if he has a mouthpiece, meaning being able to give his intentions clear and instructions to her to follow. Mouthpiece > looks when the woman actually is willing to hear him speak to see if he has that trait of a leader or not.
Dude I swear to god I always reply or comment something on their profile after matching and I still do not get a response 😭😭😭 . My pictures are also decent (my female/male friends approve). I need help lol
@@LUISGARCIA-wn4hj no you don't. If you're a handsome guy you don't need to change sht. The system is broken, they need to change and/or wake the fk up
I get alot of matches and aloooooot of No-replies. Does anyone else lash out? I'm to the point where I just start roasting after I get ignored. Funny they always reply immediately with some excuse about a wedding or notifications or some other bs. I don't make sex comments at all either. Im around an 8 and even 4s think they're hot these days
They behave like that online due to the nature of online dating - The men I know who perform extremely well on online dating beahve the same way. It's just something most humans do, when presented with a situation like that sadly.
uk man here. To be honest I don't blame women not replying if I was on dating apps. To be honest perfectly honest I am the perfect poster man that pretty much all women would love to hate. I am 54, middle class and worked hard all my life to achieve some security, not a millionaire but I do ok, not exactly much going for me in the looks department though I go to the gym, I work all the hours and come home where I enjoy a walk with my dog, a visit to my Mum on Saturdays, the odd whisky on a Saturday afternoon, a potter in the garden and an afternoon snooze, bit of a tidy up on a Sunday in the house then ready again for Monday morning . I am about as crappy as it gets.
@@kalirendivi5861 your opinion annoyed me at first and now that I know you're 54 I feel like you need to Not have an opinion at all. This is not your world, and you can not in any way relate to what goes on. Moral of the story: Handsome guys should never get ignored and YOU need to go to bed.
Becuase you're a maybe? I mean she sees you and thinks "yeah maybe I'd date him" - so women rarely see a guy and just go "YES" - that's just not how they think about dating in general. Her "maybe" is contingent on being able to talk to you and get to know you. As well as what other options are available at the time. Heck as a male who has lots of matches, many of the women I match with are also 'maybe' for me so... I sort of get it.
It’s not as simple as you try to put things in your video, dude. Things have changed, and it’s not always about your profile when they don’t reply, and you need to update your online dating knowledge, I’m sorry to say! These days, most of the chicks you match with don’t even bother replying to your messages, ‘cause they’re either only there for the attention, like to play stupid games, or suffer the paradox of choice, because they have way too many dudes matching with them. Problem is, instead of unmatching you, they prefer to just ignore and ghost you. These days you can be very happy to match with somebody who is able to hold a conversation without giving you breadcrumbs or abandoning the convo in the middle of it. Depending on the location, more and more chicks on Tinder are socially f*cked up and broken, no matter how hot they seem to be, and it has absolutely nothing to do with you or your profile.
I think this is where I professionally disagree - If I take any average guy - he's suffering with exactly what you're pointing out, I agree. BUT - If I improve his photos, his bio - instantly he'll get more matches than before. Why is an improved bio very helpful? Becuase after a woman has all her matches, she tends to ghost 90% of the matches and focus her energies on the most promising 10% - improved bio and photos goes a LONG way to entering that 10% The other way you enter it is being fun and engaging - you're likely to get into that exclusive few guys she actually gives attention to. When you watch women OR highly successful men use Tinder, they all do this. They get a lot of matches, get overwhelmed by choice, and just lock into a few highly promising options. The SKILL I speak of involves becoming one of those highly promising options. Do some women just use Tinder for fun? ABSOLUTELY - but plenty others actually plan to meet guys as well.
@@SchoolOfAttraction I’m there and get a good amount of matches. That’s not the problem. But there are a lot of nuances you simply can’t control, and you never know why they ghost you in the middle of a convo even while you had a good flow. I’m on Tinder for 10 years, and the way convos go hast dramatically changed. People are simply not invested anymore to even hold s simple conversation, for the reasons mentioned before. And while pictures and profile infos always could be optimized, there’s always the risk that sb may feel pug off by sth, you can’t and don’t want to please everybody. So, I’m especially addressing the case once you established a convo that she responded to. Just yesterday I had a match that started messaging me with compliments and a heart, something rather unusual. We started writing back and forth for a couple of days, and then she suddenly stopped replying, after she was asking me how I was doing. I call this social incompetence, but to there’s nothing you can do about it. There are s million reasons why, and you will never know, besides the fact that it has nothing to do with your profile, once the convo started.
Well yeah and this is part of the "Tinder Experience"... a certain % are just going to go and disappear on you.... But this is a bit like if I run advertisements... I run facebook ads... I might get 1000 people who like what my ad suggests - and they land on my page and maybe 100 of those click on teh 'buy now button' but EVEN THEN - only 30 of those will actually buy my product... I went from 1000 people being interested in me to just 30... It's a MASSIVE loss rate (I lose 97% of people who come to my page) - that's just the landscape, and I'm still profitable in spite of it. In the early days of FB ads, it was insanely cheap and profitable and way mroe people purchased products with mediocre ads. Now it's harder and you have ot be sophisticated. It's the same thing with online dating - The competition is much stronger and you ahve to be competitive and even then you have a higher loss rate.. BUT if you can go from getting one in 10 matches on a date to 3 in 10 - you've tripled your results - and that's my job - not to account for every single loss, but rather to improve the odds dramatically. I can still go there and get a few dates every week in a relatively small city as a 40 year old man - and of course LOTS of women disappear on me before we get to the date - that's just the way it is, doesn't mean you can't get the dates, or you can't improve.
Unless you match with an ugly chick, forget about it. You ain’t meeting up. The hotter and decent looking chicks will only meet if you are over 6ft, in shape, have a degree and high paying career in your profile. If you don’t have those things you may as well just delete the app.
95/5 is the law on dating apps in 2023. Most men, even well above average looking men don't even stand a chance. They did 5 or so years ago but not in 2023. The standards have gotten so high that even chadlites are struggling on these apps.
@@erikjohansson6579 you know what’s so funny though? I lucked up a few times after I changed my height from 5’11 to 6’0. Since I am actually 5’11 in real life they couldn’t even tell the difference when we met in person but it just goes to show you how petty these females are that one inch in height makes such a difference in whether they’ll give you a chance or not. Mind you the handful of chicks that I was able to meet did not look like their pics and out of that handful only 2 or 3 of em were actually worth dating.
@@luckydragon6892 it bugs me how mediocre chick's think they're entitled to those things now. Im sorry but the power dynamic needs to change. I had a girl ignore/unmatch me recently. Then I started seeing her at my Gym. Whoaa....... she's over weight, unattractive and flat-out not on my level. The fact that she thinks she can treat ppl the way she does is a problem. A Not uncommon problem
Just deleted my Hinge account last week. Was getting over 50% initial response rate on matches, but was constantly getting ghosted or unmatched within a few messages. I've gotten well over 100 matches in the past 4 or so months, but have only managed to go on one date. (and my profile has hardly changed since pre pandemic when I was actually getting dates)
I've been getting the sense that nowadays, EVERY single message I send has to be perfectly crafted, both interesting and playful. Because any time I get lazy and respond too quickly (aka engaging in normal conversation) results in a big, fat ghosting. Just feels like walking on eggshells with online dating, where one normal message, not even a BAD message, will result in a game over with that match
Sorry to hear you've had that experience.. If you read some of my real life interactions, it wouldnt' feel perfectly crafted at all to be sure.. But sometimes we can have 1 or two bad habits in texting that will just kill us... IT does suck that the selective pressure is so strong on men when it comes to online dating.
same. Normal conversations result in ghosting. This is the fatal flaw of online dating.
If you're getting 100 matches, you're way more attractive than most, and you play in a different tier. Nevertheless I bet your 'league' has a huge problem of ghosting regardless how hot you are. Hot guys ghost hot girls, and vice versa. Just a clusterfuck.
Same exact experience. I used to take days to message them because I had to craft the perfect message or I would get ghosted. I’ve also learned that your conversation should NEVER be standard questions like how was your weekend? What do you do? Etc. guaranteed ghost. It’s a never ending cycle because your always thinking “all it takes is one” but the same pattern repeats over and over again. It’s not worth it so I’m going back to real life and social circle.
It took me a whole year to break 100 and not one even date lol. It’s just so weird to me, because I’m not even close to unattractive either, and when I meet people in person its so much better than online. I really need to make some tweaks to my profile, and figure out what’s up.
"Walking on eggshells" describes it perfectly. It feels like the whole dating experience is getting skewed more to a competitive extreme lately. Maybe I've just had a rough patch and I really appreciate Damien's instinct to always point to things that you can improve, but we need to acknowledge the landscape as well. I'm comparing to early 2021, when the OD apps actually blew up during the pandemic - it felt like women had a lot more patience and were more involved in the process (and it was still far from a pleasant experience). Now the experience feels like a continuous screening process where they're looking for reasons to reject you at every step. It's very strange and definitely not fun.
It’s simple - ‘Hey. How are you/how’s your week going?’ If you can’t get a response from being normal, they aren’t interested.
I decided to give hinge another chance after deleting it maybe 4 months ago and it’s absolutely hilarious. Still see the SAME women from a couple months ago. I matched with a couple of them and they never reached out. They’ll be single forever lmfao!
You don't know that, they're probably banging multiple guys at once. Women get way more matches than we do - that's a fact. They can pick & choose easily whereas we get a few matches and have to work hard in order to get one person's attention
Their looking for a rich guy, they probably saw your pics and looking signs for wealth
Ah, bear1830, you're still there for at least 'a couple of months.' What's the difference? Women know how ultimately you will treat them by how you treat other people, especially other women. Even if they never see you act badly in front of them.
Yeah it's funny. I hop on like once or twice a year and it's the same women on there using some of the same photos and it just makes me laugh.
Lmao the same happens pretty much everywhere, same women and they don't want any men, they seem to use these apps only for that instant gain of satisfaction that they got picked.
Totally agree on the first message thing. You need to stand out without going too far. That being said every first message I ever received on bumble “hey”.
Yep absolutely! It's annoying isn't it?? all these women complain about uncreative men until...
Yeah I love how much more I had to work to feel I am giving something really interesting or even comment about something in a image. I just hope other women notice this before it too late.
That’s why I put on my bio, “Tell me something other than hey, ladies”. Then they started messaging me other things lol. But once in a blue I’ll still get a “hey”.
Whats annoying is you can see all the profile info before swipping.. and the idea of competiting to be noticed is absolutely ridiculous and I find that being unnessecary juvinile and a huge turnoff
@@iceicejay9569 don’t know what to tell you, man. Attractive women are going to draw the attention of multiple men. If you just want get by on your profile that’s up to you, but you put yourself at a disadvantage.
The main issue is women get too many matches online so they can only respond to a small percentage. Online dating was good 6-7 years ago. Way harder now than approaching in person.
Yeah man, 9 years ago, it was shooting fish in barrells with a grenade and a shotgun
I love public approaches, they're the best. I've had failures and successes of course..but I notice the problem is most people are on their phones nowadays so that makes it impossible to reach out. If I am in a public place where meeting is possible (park, cafe, bookstore, bar), then its easier..but I never approach when the context is inappropriate (like walking up to a random girl crossing the street who has her headphones on).
@@FactStorm Best thing to do is to talk to someone when they don't look emotionally busy, that is the key!
True! Is overwhelmed for women especially is you are attractive! There are a lot compliments, I don’t take them seriously but some of them make me smile, one told me, “wow, you are the cuter, you must be getting a lot of attention” that make me smile 😅 and I was dude, you don’t imagine, but I don’t have the energy to respond to all of them, so Zero, nada! Do you know to who I answer first? Those that I feel attractive too, or wrote me something nice or something related to my bio, those that say “Hi”!I don’t even bother! 🙄
98% of my Match never replies.
Women message me on dating apps sometimes like “damn you’re so handsome” and they still ghost.
IT could be they're angling for somethign sexual - and you are being too friendly in your response... It could be that you're taking too long to get back to them... it could be a number of things - you'll still always get some degree of flaking online of course.
😅 i don’t message guys much. And I never say something like that! I just say something related to their bio, some answer and then ghost me, some take forever to respond, I really don’t like messaging guys I always do Likes only!
@@carlel121delete the app plz!
It’s a full time job to respond to EVERY message, we get over 1000 matches if we’re even slightly conventionally attractive so I usually don’t respond to anything that’s not exciting. Even if the guy is super attractive and just says “hey” I won’t respond because I usually give some bait for an interesting conversation in my profile
Online dating apps are so skewed against men and it made average women’s egos so inflated
Women, can get away with saying hey on bumble,but when we do it. We come as boring. I usually don't respond to heys. And I bluntly state on my profile.
However- women still do it. Women are awesome savages!
Amen
Sometimes the matches happen by mistake. one (B) swiped right by accident, but the other (A) swiped right intentionally. Now they are matched. Imagine A who was intentional, curating a great first message, pulling in information from B's profile, only for B to unmatch because this match was an accident.
I don't know why people feel the need to have elaborate first messages, when they're not even sure if this is someone they wanted to match with. A simple "Hi, how are you?" Is ok. And if you get a response, then you can talk about things on their profile, then you set up date.
Don't bother, this generation of women are not worth the trouble. They over nothing and only take.
Those are fake accounts brainiac
7. Because they can.
There are no repercussions for not responding, so she will not respond. If she feels some pressure to respond - be it fear of missing out or something else - then she will respond.
Yes, it's basically the same "standing out" effect as you talked, but this point of view is helpful for me - visualize which woman would have incentive to reply instead of ghosting, and target this type of women (using your niching strategy). And this point of view is also liberating - a lot. It's her who didn't have the urge to write something in response, it's not that I'm bad and worthless.
So question - wouldnt' this strategy mean targetting women that other men aren't interseted in talking to? And if you used that strategy, wouldn't that prevent you from meeting the kinds of women that you're likely to want to speak to yourself as a member of the male gender?
@@SchoolOfAttraction I don't think so. A woman can feel pressure to respond not because nobody talks to her (there is no such woman in 2022) - but because she sees an opportunity to talk (and, in future, meet, have sex and have relationship) with a man that she likes more than the average man she is matching with.
It should not mean "low confidence women" either. It just means that the "basic behaviour", the path of least resistance, is not doing any action - and for her to pick a behavioural strategy that leads to expending time and energy (i.e. writing a response), she needs to have an incentive.
Probably less than 10% of girls reply to my opener on Tinder, and that's with me not opening too sexual, not having turnoff photos, having a cheeky but normal bio, etc. To get a 50% reply rate is unheard of for me. I'm at my wits end with dating apps. Been using them for years and slept with over 90 girls from them, but from 2022 onwards I started to notice I wasn't getting any traction at all.
Sorry to hear that mate - There are a lot of variables with online dating - it's possible you're mostly swiping right on fake profiles (I see some guys doing that) - or that you jus taren't good looking enough to perform well on Tinder (you need to be average or above) - It can be lots of small things, and yeah this makes it INSANELY frustrating.... The satisfaction rates for men and women online are disturbingly low, so don't feel too bad about yourself for these results, you're in good company.
@@SchoolOfAttraction I don't think you read my comment. I've bedded 90+ girls from dating apps. I'm not 'below average'. I was merely pointing out that results seem to have fallen off a cliff since last year.
I did, my apologies if it seemed lik eI didn't... Things have gotten a lot more competitive than they once were... 7 years ago, it was shooting fish in a barrel, a monkey could get laid on Tinder - Not trying ot call you a monkey, just saying that for sure things have gotten WAY harder - and you have to do everything WAY better to get results compared to before.
Smooth operator mate, 😂
I dated 8,5s in 2018-2021 - 2022 was a personal embarrasment on datingapps, and the fact people still pushing these godforsaken apps even though they know how rigged it is against atleast 95 % of all men, is mindblowing. Its the science of BS, and I would go so far as to say these apps main function today is divider and conquer - enhances female hypergamy by 100 percent, and at the same time crush mens self esteem. Perfect situation for the powers that be, more and more people being rootless consumers.
They always reply to chads
Yeah most would - I mean - it's like saying - most guys flake on women on online dating - they're terribly unreliable - but they won't flake on the super hot 20 year old ;) I mean when someone has something in INSANE Abundance - you tend to behave better in the hopes of not missing out.
No simpler than that
i think the biggest problem is that women have to deal with too many matches and messages, and they feel overwhelmed. In person, these "boring" first responses are just fine.
So unless she is already super interested in you (she got a laugh from your profile, not necessarily that you are super hot), 5% chance you'll make it past 2 messages.
If she doesn't get many matches herself, then her response rate is higher.
I have a humorous profile, and I get comments about that. Even so, few chats last past 2 messages. The bar is set way higher than IRL.
Yeah this is definitely a part of it - Meeting women in real life is always king
Then, WTF don't they unmatch men they are not really interested in?! "Too many matches ..." Boohoooooo 😢😭😭😭😭
This for sure. The ppl at hinge are trash for this reason. Why have girls with overflowing inboxes and guys with nothing ? It makes no sense and hurts everyone in the long run. Hinge boosts female ego and shatters the male psique. So unbalanced and it just doesn't have to be that way
1,000 personalized, conversation starter messages, specifically avoiding standard boring openers and women still ghost you.....Attempts 1,001+ (sigh) "Hey, how's it going?" (Contemplates deleting app)
As a bisexual woman, thank you for this video on both sides 😂. Definitely agree with everything you say based on my experience receiving matches from men. I still can't work out why the same profile that works well with men doesn't work with women because I have the same problem with 95% women not replying after we match. I wish a queer woman would do a queer version of this video.
Yeah this would be amazing - I'd actually really like ot interview a few single lesbian or bisexual women on my podcast to talk about their own experiences dating women
And then there are guys who both mass-swipe right AND also ignore you because they think they are too good for you. They learned from these women. Both types of people need to be devalued in society. Straight guys have it worse so I support them, except for when they mass-swipe to the right. GAY MALES ARE NOT OPPRESSED IN SOCIETY.
Men significantly outnumber women on dating apps. Men are vying for few slots in the dating pool. Not worth it unless you are extremely attractive. Id rather go the organic route and join some institution/class that puts me in contact with more women/people in general.
Im with you mate.
I might be suffering from the distance thing but I always try to pick something from the bio that I can connect with and talk to someone about. My annoyance is that there will be matches and women have to make the first move on Bumble and they say nothing. Or I have a decent opening line and they might say something but don’t follow up at all. Women need to get better at communicating just as much as men. The good ones are out there and they’ll intentionally back off with 0 effort to know the person they swiped and matched with.
I am a 22 year old guy who has been using Hinge since June 2022 and only got 14 matches so far and I use the free version. Recently, I was matched with a 19 year old girl with whom I had been chatting for 2 weeks but her replies were slow and she unmatched me after I asked her out for a coffee. Then I got matched by another girl who is also 22 year old but she completely ghosted me. Then my most recent match was just 3 days ago by an 18 year old girl who will be 19 next month. She is a 2nd year college student with a late birthday and I am a 4th year college student but her replies have been mostly one word and she unmatched me yesterday even before I could ask her out probably because I told her I play video games every weekends but idk.
I got my first match on tinder we talked for a long while when I went back on tinder she immediately unmatched with me 🥺
Im a woman and this happened with a woman. She unmatched right before the date. I'm pretty sure it was a man catfishing me
And then there are guys who think being unmatched is better because it "doesn't leave them hanging"! They go on subreddits and tell women that that's what they SHOULD do to be MORE courteous!
People who ghost or don't even reply are much better than people who UNMATCH or BLOCK you, because they don't do it as a ~courtesy~, it's because they find you SO repulsive that they want you as far away from them as possible. They couldn't believe they ever swiped right on you. They WANT it to be known DIRECTLY to you too that they find you DISGUSTING. You are easily DISPOSABLE, they won't even consider you a backup plan.
Have you seen hot guys' chat logs? I bet most are boring as fuck, and they get ghosted as well.
Hot guys might get an extra response, but if they don't have top communication skills, girls probably get bored fast as well.
Some are... but some are pretty decent - I've had hot clients who struggled, becuase they were boring as sin - but it's true that they don't have to work NEARLY as hard on the quality texts...
This is more apparnet when they're younger, once they get towards 35, it starts to shift.
To any guy trying to revive the conversation use Copy/Paste this:
Open airway and check for breathing / perfrom 20 chest compressions & and give 2 rescue breaths / shes still unresponsive / beat on chest screaming "DONT YOU DIE ON ME"
That was me performing CPR on this conversation
I feel like 90% of women don't have anything special in their profile I can realte to
Honestly, it can be hard to start - women aren't any better than men at creating good dating profiles honestly.
Its easy to see if they are delusional or not atleast, or the level of the delusion
It's worst than nothing special, it's like they go out of their way to be as off-putting as possible.
When you have an abundance of options why not go for the top one out of the bunch? when men have so little options we have to be desperate and take what we can get. it’s not like that with women. it’s more similar to shopping and they could select the perfect produce with the perfect features to it
I wish I was picking perfect I am more force on a man I can some what relate to. I likely don't know who is the top one and likely too aware of the not many men to women. >_
The irony is that when they all chase the top guy, the girls get ghosted too. So they all leave emptyhanded.
Unrealistic expectations + low effort = fail.
@@kkp4297 and that ladies and gentleman, when you finish that train of thought to completion, is the main reason behind the fall of civilization we are currently going through
@@wrczLet it burn
As a woman who started using Hinge a few months ago, I agree with most things in the video, but definitely not the point that women are only glancing at the profile photos & prompts, and just matching.
Maybe it’s not the majority (I have no idea), but for me, there are a few things I’ll check on the profile before matching, bc why match with someone only to not talk to them, or have majorly incompatible areas from the get-go?
For example, I’d look at
- distance, yes
- if they smoke even “sometimes/socially” (dealbreaker)
- whether or not they want kids (if it’s a no, then I get that I can’t change someone)
And definitely it’s a quick no to the “wanky” photos hahaha. But to each their own!
Yeah to be sure there's variance in how men and women both use online dating - for example, I ALWAYS read a profile before bothering to swipe right, but most men don't - men are even worse than women at this in general.
I don't know your age - but this might also be age related in that - women over 30 on average get more relationship focussed they are sick of wasting their time on dates with no potential so they can become more focussed on details before swiping right - When I did my original research on this I was purposely focussing on 25 year old women which was the average age of women most of my online dating clients were dating.
@@SchoolOfAttraction Ahh that makes sense :) And you're spot on, I'm 31!
I agree with the variance in habits between men/women and also age groups, and probably also personality - I likely wouldn't have swiped on people randomly if I was using the apps at 25-ish either.
I just don't get the point of matching for quantity in the face of a clear dealbreaker, unless you're not in it for the long run.
Thanks for replying :)
#2 and #4 are my worst enemies
I HATE taking photos of myself
And I’m significantly better in person …. 😢 I think ima just wait or delete and remake my profile to get some quick matches 🤷🏾♂️
A fish photo is a red flag? I don’t have one but Jesus.
Here's my favorite pickup line: "Hey, I don't know you, but you look pretty!". Feel free to use it, I've had a lot of success with that ice breaker!
Yep easy and simple, I can see this working.
Watched this video all the way now its pretty spot on!
I had a woman interested and she saw a picture I took in the mirror she thought my ring on my right hand was a wedding band. I tried to explain subtly that it's in front of a mirror, but she'd already labeled me as a cheating husband.
Haha oh man - it's oddly frustrating when someone's stupidity gets in the way of a perfectly good date
Lads, if a woman rejects or passes on a future with you because you have a picture holding a fucking FISH! Stay single! You will have to spend the rest of your life NEVER making a mistake. Chose peace over a lifetime of trying to be someone you are not.
timely video.
I can get a response at first, but then the chat dies right after that.
They don't have much to go on, and you try to talk about their interests, but they don't know how to talk about their interests, or they are not interested in talking about their interests. Weird huh.
Its honestly like tiptoeing over a fucking minefield when talking vs waiting in an er queue for a reply its just torment. Thats why i just use canned openers.
Don't worry boys as a woman I also have the same situation with women. So... The same goes with men I matched with too.
it seems this is becoming the new modern trend, i don't think it was always like this, because i'm sure it wasn't like this hundreds of years ago or centuries ago, but its the new modern thing for guys, men, to seek help from dating coaches or pick up artists on how to meet and attract women, successfully interact with them, because i read this statement from someone who used to be a dating coach, but not anymore, the statement was:
"Do you think over a 100 years ago, centuries ago, generations ago, guys, men, needed a dating coach for help in order to meet and attract women? Oh Hell No, this need for assistance and help has only emerged very recently"
I mean yeah - I agree 100% - but our culture doesn't foster boys having an abundance of time spent with older males - there's not 'life mentorship' that boys receive in modern society. The same thing happens with male Chimpanzees who spend critical years with low tribe interaction - their sexual advances are wonky and weird (for chimp standards) and they're almost always rejected.
Yes because in the past women didn't have as many rights as they do now and just got ferried off to marry for money. This seems, obvious?
I have 137 matches. Haven’t responded to a single one of them 😂 I have proof if y’all need it. I got y’all backs homies.
It's because these dating apps are run and organised as a game, and not as anything more serious than that.
Yup I can relate to this I have gotten 2 matches in hinge one girl said spamming first then I replied and nothing back and the other one I started the convo and no response makes no sense to me
The funny thing is, if you say "Fuck it, I'm going to confront the chick on it and say something like 'Oh great, another person matching for no reason.' or 'Why do people act like this?'" women will automatically turn it around on you like you're in the wrong or have some kind of mental problem. Oh, I'm sorry, you're right! Humans TOTALLY think that long periods of silence indicate someone is really really interested in you! Crazy me!
Women don't seem to understand that if they want to date someone, it's not a good idea to give the vibe that you are completely uninterested, and yet you chose to match, and then choose to respond back to me holding you accountable as ME being in the wrong. It's just fucking amazing. God forbid men do this to women on apps though, then the sisterhood comes out, complain about men together and support one another. Women can NEVER accept responsibility for themselves; they are the most self-absorbed group of people in the dating world.
Women don't owe you anything, so it seems super entitled.
Think about it, that woman may be planning to reply to you and then you say, thanks for not talking. Its enfuriating because you've just lumped her in the same category as everyone else and that is NOT a turn on.
I'm on this video because I am a woman trying to date Women on tinder and I am getting the same issues now as men. Am I mad at Women? No. I'll keep on trying and I won't take it personally at get butt hurt and think no Women like me because I'm not a giant wuss. Sorry.
Ty for letting me know about this man
Great Clip👍🏻
Thanks ✌
in my country they say hallo and then i reply how are you? and then i hear nothing 24 hours and then the match disappeared.
At least 2 hours I am from any matches, frustrating as all hell, this happens just about every time. Very elderly population where I life on the south coast NSW, single woman down here there are a few but they’re in very high demand and most of them are not my type, more educated people in the cities also.
Yeah mate, that makes it VERY hard! Online dating is very location depenent
I'm considered high value in every way and now I just match with women and never text them. Payback is fun. And yes, I do have the looks to be an instant yes but IDGAF. You want to know how to stand out most? Don't text and they'll know they're not that high on their own mind's list.
Who cares what she thinks? As a man, you speak if you want to. If she is not down to do what you want, you don't want her anyway, so cut her off and tell the next woman you find attractive what you want. Respect and submitting is what she should be to the man to keep him or she can stay on her own for life.
Haven't watched this yet. Here are reasons I don't reply.
When I'm in a horny or lonely mood I'll match with someone only to later realise I'm not interested.
I like their face but after we match I read their bio and find that: we may not be after the same thing, we have no matching interests, something feels off, something seems like a red flag ect.
When we begin speaking they sound like a dick. They begin a conversation, "Hey Gorgous", they call me the wrong name (how?), they offer dick pics, they are immediately sexual, they get funny with me for not replying to them fast enough (come the fuck on), they seem domineering or aggressive.
I stop replying if, I meet someone else in real life and I delete the app, I just had a bad experience on the app and don't want to continue being on it, I've decided to date the opposite sex (bisexual), or a list of other reasons.
People need to not take it personally, I don't if someone doesn't reply to me. People you don't know don't owe you anything at all.
Well said, and thank you for contributing here!
Oh cool a different room your recording in. Is it a youtube room for youtubers? Sorry I had to comment this 23 secs in to the video. wait it is a green screen and only just notice now at 2.30.
Haha yeah - the only reason you can tell too is because I had to make some compromises I usually wouldn't - for the record my past 10 videos or so have also been green screen, I just took a photo of the old backdrop and used that so nobody would realise I had changed location - I had to change my room around and don't have a good backdrop now. Since you can't really tell now when the green screen is done right, I'm just selecting a better backdrop to use full time.
@@SchoolOfAttraction I am amazed I not work it out in your other videos and only notice it in this one. I am likely more looking at you and listen. Thank you for saying. Keep doing these great videos.
There is always something.
Some of the best women I've dated lived far away, in a densely polulated country and region.
Easy women that need easy men, yes, they need a short distance. Anyway, most women swipe short distance only, it takes someone traveling and swiping (or paying the app to "travel and swipe", to get a match.
Better ask for a date or number faster, too much time wasted chatting leads to ghosting. Anyway aproaching women in real life is better, builds confidence and resilience. Online builds nothing just frustration most of the times
@@DannyDL1ght Bingo 👑
Hi Damien, what about the new looking for feature on tinder? What I usually do when the conversation goes there is to say that I am not looking for a long term relationship but I'm open to it with tje right person, which is the truth. This often goes well also with women who prefer ltrs but are open to casual (most women I've met), if the vibe is ok. However I'm sure they would have swiped left had they read it on the looking for feature.
Should we leave the feature blank? What do u think?
I have to do some more testing wtih it as yet... Historically, admitting ot wanting casual on Tinder caused you to get poorly ranked so you'd quickly lose a lot of matches. BUT maybe they've fixed the algorithm to accommodate this?
This happens to everyone lol dry conversations, no conversation, chat every few days. At time I don’t have time to deal with this.
Then get off dating apps if u dont have time to get to know people. Ur just using for attention.
Because their massive C u next Tuesdays.
They're ;)
Isn't it insane how much we worship these creatures, waiting like little puppies to be picked by the master, sitting tests to be approved by a stranger, on eggshells so we do and say all the right things to the Queen, this is insulting and degrading us guys, Stand up men, we can do better than this.
It doesn´t have to be 1 or the other, use both, get a good bio, good pics and yes use some enhancements, females have been doing it and still do, play in the same ball park. Go out and just chat with someone you find interesting. Looks can also be deceiving to those who only go by that.
If you set distance to 20 km you'll run out of girls pretty fast. We are not all living in big cities.
This is true, but this is also why online dating is rubbish outside of big cities... Just not a high enough population density.
Girl here haha, i came here to see whether or not I should do this lol! It’s my first time on tinder and I’m scared to start a relationship (that’s why I’m scared to answer 😅)
Haha thanks for the info on that - That's a fair anwer ;)
Just delete the guys and stop wasting their time. This is infuriating to guys and you're laughing
I admire women who decline the request, they are honest!
6:34 that’s great but don’t make it toooooo lengthy to the point where it feels weird
Agreed
women ruin dating apps
It is funny though how you're like, oh, taking an interest in women actually works so well. No shit, treating someone like a human works. Ffs. Haha
Well yeah - it really shouldn't HAVE to be said - but in mens' defence, when you get so many rejections over and over again, AND you're nervous as hell because normally men have to put in all the work in the initial phase of an interaction - it's sort of hard to keep track of what aught to be 'obvious' anymore.
Honestly, I think its the age demographic. If I set my preferences to 24 to about 30, I get way many more matches and convos vs my age preferable age range which is 18 to 22. For context, Im 21.
You are girl or boy?
none of this points describe the true nature of their acts.
Its very simple, they are talking to several dudes at the same time and the fact that she changed rythm and speed means that she is willing to give her attention to the other Dude which unconsiously , she is already choosing to be the correct one.
Simple as that
Woman get the exact same Problem of having a match with is never responding to text messages. I don’t get it. You tell that guys don’t get as much matches as woman? Why are you guys never responding than?
I only give a like wenn i see myself spending time with the guy. Having matches wo never respond is a big disappointment
I only don't reply to women if I didn't realize they are unattractive before matching with them. So when we match and I take a good look at the rest of her photos and she is actually fat in the last photo (angle frauds in the previous photos to make herself look slim) then yeah I'm not gonna reply to her.
I’ve noticed something funny on tinder in probably the last few months …
Basically lately every single girl you match with will just immediately unmatch when you say hi or not reply at all
I know this is common but I used to have much success with the app up to about 3 months ago (thousands of matches) now it just seems the number of matches I get is completely throttled down to basically 1-2 a day and the ones I do match just unmatch straight away. I’m platinum and use boosts regularly. Advice?
Interseting, I haven't seen this myself, or in guys in my FB group with clients - I mean I haven't seen an immediate change with this happening a lot. The match throttling I believe is very real - and it's a GREAT change imo - it spreads out the limited number of women on tinder to a greater range of men . So I'm not so sad about that change.
As far as women instantly unmatching... it could be fake female profiles? Or it could be something in your profile turning them off? If you haven't changed anything at all though - it's an odd case that I can't easily comment on without looking into it much deeper.
@@SchoolOfAttraction thanks for the advice
I reckon it’s possibly that my profile is now pretty old (current account was created about 3 years ago) so I probably would benefit from a refresh and new profile
On hinge before I got banned I had thousands of matches also and much more new matches every single day. For some reason I keep getting banned off hinge.
Also I should add that on tinder I have it set to incognito mode which probably means my results are not as good as they could be.
Just remember chad or Tyrone dont need to do sny of this. If you have to chase then she dont wanna be caught by you
Heh actually there was research I left out that showed that the more attractive a woman was, the more she believed the man should pay
AND the more attractive a man is, the more likely he was to believe she should pay half.
So chads are less likely to pay on dates with average women, but with hot women it's going to be a stalemate :P
Dunno why tf they match first / like your pics first then not reply hahaha
I’m done with this bs game, will just talk to women in the real world lol, dammit, this was my fear
Fuck online dating it's pointless getting back to dating in real life
Insanely unrealistic expectations
I totally disagree!
I normally don't have a hard time meeting chick's on a random here and there outside Silicon Valley.
Date sites have gone through an evolution, where at this point, the woman has experienced so many repetitive messages that it no longer matters zero substance regardless what you say.
For most women dating sites, Are strictly for ego
And reassurance to maintain ( their fragile confidence. Not all, but many)
They have become extremely picky, knowing at any point that could have any guy, even a basic average, looking women. due to the attention that men have given them through a time. Imagine the rules were reversed and we were getting that amount of attention by nature, we will have the same behavior. We be extremely just as narrow with who we decide to chat with.
It is unnatural for you to message Somebody that you have never met & you have no idea who they are and try to impress them with words. It is no different than approaching somebody in the street/ coffee shop/ mall. You simply say hello, You don't run into somebody and right off the bat express poems.
Solution Boycott all women by mass from dating sites for 1 week. Watch how many messages you'll get!
30 miles to 50 isn’t much to me lol
Let me save you some time before watching this video because my advice is shorter than 8 and half minutes. They don't reply because you're not good looking. Take your new found wisdom and conquer the world!
Nope. 1 woman can find you good looking and another not. Only a slow woman thinks a man's looks is end all be all. She hasn't even heard from him to see if he has a mouthpiece, meaning being able to give his intentions clear and instructions to her to follow. Mouthpiece > looks when the woman actually is willing to hear him speak to see if he has that trait of a leader or not.
Dude I swear to god I always reply or comment something on their profile after matching and I still do not get a response 😭😭😭 . My pictures are also decent (my female/male friends approve). I need help lol
@@LUISGARCIA-wn4hj no you don't. If you're a handsome guy you don't need to change sht. The system is broken, they need to change and/or wake the fk up
@@nachoslemonheads6481 update : matched with someone and it is going great, been together for nearly a year :)
all this effort to get ran through chicks
the metric system is glorious, anyone who uses anything else is still gathering wood
I get alot of matches and aloooooot of No-replies.
Does anyone else lash out? I'm to the point where I just start roasting after I get ignored. Funny they always reply immediately with some excuse about a wedding or notifications or some other bs. I don't make sex comments at all either. Im around an 8 and even 4s think they're hot these days
you need to get off the internet ....
@@nachoslemonheads6481 angry virgin this fella is
Basically get off tinder and meet women in person. This video makes women sound like picky narcissists
They behave like that online due to the nature of online dating - The men I know who perform extremely well on online dating beahve the same way.
It's just something most humans do, when presented with a situation like that sadly.
Lords work brother
Only conmen lead men beliebers datingapps are fertile ground these days.
First message should be always: "Hi HerName" or "Hey HerName"
You forgot to mention height 😬👌.
I mean, I'm 5"8 and I get replies and dates (and second dates)
uk man here. To be honest I don't blame women not replying if I was on dating apps. To be honest perfectly honest I am the perfect poster man that pretty much all women would love to hate. I am 54, middle class and worked hard all my life to achieve some security, not a millionaire but I do ok, not exactly much going for me in the looks department though I go to the gym, I work all the hours and come home where I enjoy a walk with my dog, a visit to my Mum on Saturdays, the odd whisky on a Saturday afternoon, a potter in the garden and an afternoon snooze, bit of a tidy up on a Sunday in the house then ready again for Monday morning . I am about as crappy as it gets.
@@kalirendivi5861 your opinion annoyed me at first and now that I know you're 54 I feel like you need to Not have an opinion at all. This is not your world, and you can not in any way relate to what goes on.
Moral of the story: Handsome guys should never get ignored and YOU need to go to bed.
Thank you
Because its not a woman its a bot
If I'm a maybe then why did she match with me Lol.
Becuase you're a maybe? I mean she sees you and thinks "yeah maybe I'd date him" - so women rarely see a guy and just go "YES" - that's just not how they think about dating in general.
Her "maybe" is contingent on being able to talk to you and get to know you. As well as what other options are available at the time.
Heck as a male who has lots of matches, many of the women I match with are also 'maybe' for me so... I sort of get it.
It’s not as simple as you try to put things in your video, dude. Things have changed, and it’s not always about your profile when they don’t reply, and you need to update your online dating knowledge, I’m sorry to say! These days, most of the chicks you match with don’t even bother replying to your messages, ‘cause they’re either only there for the attention, like to play stupid games, or suffer the paradox of choice, because they have way too many dudes matching with them. Problem is, instead of unmatching you, they prefer to just ignore and ghost you. These days you can be very happy to match with somebody who is able to hold a conversation without giving you breadcrumbs or abandoning the convo in the middle of it. Depending on the location, more and more chicks on Tinder are socially f*cked up and broken, no matter how hot they seem to be, and it has absolutely nothing to do with you or your profile.
I think this is where I professionally disagree - If I take any average guy - he's suffering with exactly what you're pointing out, I agree.
BUT - If I improve his photos, his bio - instantly he'll get more matches than before. Why is an improved bio very helpful?
Becuase after a woman has all her matches, she tends to ghost 90% of the matches and focus her energies on the most promising 10% - improved bio and photos goes a LONG way to entering that 10%
The other way you enter it is being fun and engaging - you're likely to get into that exclusive few guys she actually gives attention to.
When you watch women OR highly successful men use Tinder, they all do this. They get a lot of matches, get overwhelmed by choice, and just lock into a few highly promising options.
The SKILL I speak of involves becoming one of those highly promising options.
Do some women just use Tinder for fun? ABSOLUTELY - but plenty others actually plan to meet guys as well.
@@SchoolOfAttraction I’m there and get a good amount of matches. That’s not the problem. But there are a lot of nuances you simply can’t control, and you never know why they ghost you in the middle of a convo even while you had a good flow. I’m on Tinder for 10 years, and the way convos go hast dramatically changed. People are simply not invested anymore to even hold s simple conversation, for the reasons mentioned before. And while pictures and profile infos always could be optimized, there’s always the risk that sb may feel pug off by sth, you can’t and don’t want to please everybody. So, I’m especially addressing the case once you established a convo that she responded to. Just yesterday I had a match that started messaging me with compliments and a heart, something rather unusual. We started writing back and forth for a couple of days, and then she suddenly stopped replying, after she was asking me how I was doing. I call this social incompetence, but to there’s nothing you can do about it. There are s million reasons why, and you will never know, besides the fact that it has nothing to do with your profile, once the convo started.
Well yeah and this is part of the "Tinder Experience"... a certain % are just going to go and disappear on you.... But this is a bit like if I run advertisements...
I run facebook ads... I might get 1000 people who like what my ad suggests - and they land on my page and maybe 100 of those click on teh 'buy now button' but EVEN THEN - only 30 of those will actually buy my product... I went from 1000 people being interested in me to just 30... It's a MASSIVE loss rate (I lose 97% of people who come to my page) - that's just the landscape, and I'm still profitable in spite of it.
In the early days of FB ads, it was insanely cheap and profitable and way mroe people purchased products with mediocre ads. Now it's harder and you have ot be sophisticated.
It's the same thing with online dating - The competition is much stronger and you ahve to be competitive and even then you have a higher loss rate..
BUT if you can go from getting one in 10 matches on a date to 3 in 10 - you've tripled your results - and that's my job - not to account for every single loss, but rather to improve the odds dramatically.
I can still go there and get a few dates every week in a relatively small city as a 40 year old man - and of course LOTS of women disappear on me before we get to the date - that's just the way it is, doesn't mean you can't get the dates, or you can't improve.
I need a serious man
Unless you match with an ugly chick, forget about it. You ain’t meeting up. The hotter and decent looking chicks will only meet if you are over 6ft, in shape, have a degree and high paying career in your profile. If you don’t have those things you may as well just delete the app.
95/5 is the law on dating apps in 2023. Most men, even well above average looking men don't even stand a chance. They did 5 or so years ago but not in 2023. The standards have gotten so high that even chadlites are struggling on these apps.
Sad but true
I cant believe guys still go at this apps with any kind of hope. Theyre in for yet another waste of time ahead or even heartbreak.
@@erikjohansson6579 you know what’s so funny though? I lucked up a few times after I changed my height from 5’11 to 6’0. Since I am actually 5’11 in real life they couldn’t even tell the difference when we met in person but it just goes to show you how petty these females are that one inch in height makes such a difference in whether they’ll give you a chance or not. Mind you the handful of chicks that I was able to meet did not look like their pics and out of that handful only 2 or 3 of em were actually worth dating.
@@luckydragon6892 it bugs me how mediocre chick's think they're entitled to those things now. Im sorry but the power dynamic needs to change. I had a girl ignore/unmatch me recently. Then I started seeing her at my Gym. Whoaa....... she's over weight, unattractive and flat-out not on my level. The fact that she thinks she can treat ppl the way she does is a problem. A Not uncommon problem