Thank you and God bless you... It's not only about the accuracy of the giftedness challenges description. It's also about all your compassion that is a true gift for us who listen. This video moved me to tears as I am once again in my life at that point where I need to figure out how to make the best and overcome the challenges of giftedness...
It's easy to end up being the leader of a group... And then kind of seen as a parent. Almost like you're there to ruin their good time. When you're the voice of reason. Doesn't matter if you have a wild streak too. You're just seen as a wet blanket. Then years later, some folks come back to apologize You're just like yeah... I saw this train wreck going in slow motion. What can you do.
LOL that's exactly how people respond to me they act like high school teenagers and worse when someone is just out of high school and they even bully and abuse me over it acting like there's also something wrong with me for acting wise beyond my years like i'm somehow acting fake. They act like i'm some "authority figure" they have to rebel against like i'm some oppressive force, when little do they know i share their distrust for authority figures for a dozen good reasons people on the "gifted" spectrum usually do. They make me feel like i'm just being bossy and then go on to discrediting, triangulating, and ostracizing me for it when i'm not trying to be a killjoy at all. In fact i can have some pretty diablogical and chaotic moments sometimes but i'm guessing these are the people that were the class clowns and we know how unreasonable they can be, like everything has to be rebelled against no matter what it is, even things that don't need to be rebelled against that's doing them no harm, that's what makes them so unreasonable.
@@Harteo3917 ah, you were IDed as a gifted child too? how about that. people see standards they don't like to be reminded of. they also don't like that fact that those standards have everything to do with someone wanting to do the right thing and nothing to do with making others impressed. they are highly miffed at those who refuse to treat others according to their "station" as well. i can tell when someone finds me both attractive and intelligent, because they immediately set about trying *hard* to "gotcha" me on some kind of moral issue. it's like if only they can serve their referendum, then I am proven to not be the "full package", and therefore am not so great after all. 95% of the time, these people make sure to misunderstand me and use that as their "proof". and when i started performing music as a frontwoman and gaining fans? dear god, the dog-piling, the sabotaging, the "i can't hear you la la la la la la"... was insane. pathologically insane.
@legalfictionnaturalfact3969 For me it was like people knew years before i understood it but it was like nobody ever wanted to explain it to me, at least i knew i was always different and it's hard not to notice really but i recognize this behavior even now people get angry i actually know what i'm on about lol at least the things i do know about. Now i just watch and wait until they finally turn around and need my help after all lol could be hours or days but i'll wait😂because they won't listen before that. iIm being bossy and invasive and the normies feel they're top rank and everyone else is under it so we shouldn't be listened to. Until of course they can't figure it out which is too often because they could actually be a lot more open minded about things but they also spend a lot of time minimizing themselves. Which ends up wasting a lot of time just so other people get their say but it's a waste of time when they don't know lol but they have to go through it all just to find that out. Maybe some of it is dragging things out so their manager doesn't expect too much of them but it's still so frustrating because things never go fast enough for me lol i know we can figure this out a lot more quickly but they don't want to there's a general aversiveness to things it drives me crazy.
@@Harteo3917 true, they really don't listen until they're in a place to accept information. if it's someone i really find repugnant, i'll tell them the truth in a concise, very strong fashion even though they're not ready. then one day when they realize i was right, they stay away forever out of shame and pissiness. good riddance. :) ofc, at work things are more complicated. "normies". haha. they are always straining to be seen as "totally normal completely normal nothing weird here!1" meanwhile, basically every worthwhile historical figure, all the greats...yeah. none of them were normies.
@@Harteo3917 oh look, my response was deleted. oh well. all my best comments are on a clipboard app and i'm arranging them into a few different books. the comment deleted here will probably be useful. normies don't make history. they are boring and lame. they take pride in their normieness and then get mad that they don't feel "special". lol. special means you take risks, children. X)
Hi there. I am a brazilian gifted, and I found out it only a few months ago, since my 10 years-old son started having lots of problems at school, until we took him to a psychologist and discovered he is gifted. Since then, I watched literally all the videos about giftness in Portuguese, and now I am watching in English and French. And each video I find something new that I didn't know. I had the very same bad experiences as you did, and I am not happy for that, but it's a relief knowing the reason, and also I am not alone.
Thank you for your video. It's comforting to know we are not alone, but understanding myself in this way doesn't seem to make things any easier and I continue to find life (relations with people) incredibly painful. One area in particular is the gifted curse of have a heightened and more nuanced perception of fairness and justice - it's out of sync with most people who, for example, would choose to defend one person who is a friend over righting something that is unfair to others at the expense of the friend that has been benefiting from the injustice thus far. It leads to being ostracized by peers who cannot see or refuse to acknowledge the inequity. It leads to being bullied. In one instance, this characteristic almost became an asset, as I was recruited for a job that fought for social justice...but one jealous person in a position of power managed to convince a whole committee of people to oust and vilify me to sabatoge my chance of getting the job. Though the job description called for social justice, I realized later that the politics of getting and keeping the job did not, and in fact required quite the opposite. One way to deal with this curse would be to just not care anymore and give up or let go; go with the flow. However, the cognitive dissonance of witnessing and letting inequities persist is like a shredding of the soul and leads to feeling like a coward just too chicken to do the right thing - which lowers my sense of self worth and makes me feel miserable. There is no winning. Anyway, I don't know if you have an answer for this, or if you can relate, but I wouldn't mind hearing your thoughts. If I'm so gifted and smart, why can't I find a solution? All I can find is perpetual frustration, anger, and deep sadness.
I hear you. I've not had trouble to the extent you have with social injustice, but I think that's mostly because I've intentionally chosen to disengage after a few experiences in highschool. I don't have a solution, but I think there is peace in understanding that our reality is different from those with the typical brain. We need to choose to accept and honor that some people have different viewpoints than we do just as we wish typical people could understand and respect our different experiences. I hope you can find a safe space to express your need to improve social injustice! Or maybe just a specific person who can defend and advocate for your perspective.
Same here! It's really telling that so many gifted people just give up and become entrepeneurs. It would be one thing if people just didn't understand us, but the small-minded jealousy and cruelty are too much.
You described exactly what i always feel the world around me disgusts me because of mt sense of justice and needing what's right but i'm always ostracized for it too because people are bent these days, they don't want you uncovering all the fraud that's going on why everything is so messed up because it's all driven towards that not actually doing any good or being nice to people i kept learning that the hard way. The best you can do is learn to be more tact and know when and where you belong not mistaking justice for getting involved with bad people because there's a lot of cult behaviors going on, so they make things sound appealing but it's the opposite they only want cult followers that will do anything they want them to blindly. So research things and places thoroughly before you even accept any interviews or whatever else because they probably thought you might be naive enough but we know nothing can be hid from us lol.
I have also always had a heightened sense of justice and fairness and a revulsion toward hypocrisy to the point that I bold myself accountable to any behavior I have that is hypocritical. That heightened self awareness thing.
I listened to this video at twice speed and understood every word like you were going at normal speed. That doesn’t happen very often.I’m totally on your wavelength
I had the opposite. I had ADHD which masked my intelligence. I was treated like I was stupid by soo many people, yet I knew I understood more than them. I have a judgemental family, therefore I was a shy and sensitive child which made me a target for bullies. I would imagine your situation to be just as bad, but on the other end of the spectrum. Being gifted is hardly a gift if you don't have the right support growing up
@@Mircat123very probably my undiagnosed ADHD as a kid interfered with my full potential. Maybe with treatment and coaching, I can live this last chapter of my life to my full potential.
This was very enlightening. I've recently come to realize that I likely have ADHD. I'm 65, raised as an only child and, when talking about the reasons why I think I have it (on a wait list to get tested) and only just realized how much it has impacted my life, I say "I always procrastinated on everything and I only got away with that because I was smart and wrote well so I could write a one draft paper from research to completion in the 12 hours before it was due. All my report cards in elementary school said, D. is a bright student. If only she'd spend as much time on her homework as she does talking to her neighbors she'd do better "🤣 In adolescence I was tremendously awkward and often bullied and definitely didn't feel like one of the popular kids. As a young adult, I realized I was/am gay and (this is in the 70s) started going to clubs and dancing all night. While I used substances in high school, but substance use issues got more profound until age 24 when I entered recovery. Shortly after I finished treatment, I started working in HIV/AIDS work. Many of my friends were sick or had died and I was driven to "do something." I spent 21 years working in HIV/AIDS. Currently, I work in substance use prevention - - again, work with personal meaning - - and am a cultural anthropologist by training. I chose anthropology because I realized it is the one field of study that I felt I could study whatever my curiosity led me to. I'm not sure that my IQ would put me in the gifted realm - I suck at math--but put a book, a pen, or a microphone in front of me and I am at home. I do not get nervous public speaking like many people do. I am as comfortable speaking off the cuff as I am doing any kind of formal presentation. I work in diverse communities and with people sometimes in their worst moments with compassion and kindness and have deep empathy for people's lived experience based on both my work experiences and my own lived experience. I've been told that I can charm the bark off of trees. I am definitely NOT a perfectionist 😂 and in a recently team building exercise at work, 3 out of 4 of my colleagues said that I am always authentically me (in a good way 😅). I know I'm rambling a little, but I say all this to say that all of the above is the main reason why, at 65, I'm finally facing my ADHD. This current job, as a project coordinator, is the first time professionally that I've had to "show my work" and articulate each and every step and task 😢. I have struggled mightily to the point that I have nearly been written up. It's caused great anxiety and I can't use my usual get it done in the last twelve hours tricks. The giftedness masked, even from me, the true cause of my "procrastination," lateness, "winging it" style, and so many other things. I will dive into your resources below but are there any validated self-tests and resources for adults who are just realizing that they may be 2e? Thank you.
Omg…you summed it up perfectly! All 15minutes and the one second explained what it’s like to a T. I wonder if there a place besides the typical spaces to meet other folx organically
The only group for the gifted adult that I'm aware of is through the organization Intergifted. I've not tried it myself, but I've read the testimonies that say it's amazing.
It's like having a Lamborghini and no commuter car. Its flashy, can do some things really super fast and stuff but... its not exactly practical for daily commuting and picking up the groceries.
5:42 Teleporting 😂 Well said. But it’s like a spaceship- why waste time when I can teleport in various places and, once I find something interesting to explore, I stop and take my time exploring in depth or just enjoying it as aesthetic pleasure? Speaking of feeling like an alien… call me insane, I don’t care, but I am an alien. I must be, otherwise I cannot explain to myself what has been going on all of my rather miserable life amongst humans.
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences!! Is it is true for me conversations are super slow!! I also need retreat time to reflect upon what I have been doing!! I also feel that I am not contributing ( as you mention) in the big picture problems in the world that I can see there are lots of things to solve or improve in the big scale like politics, social and economic issues but I am not taking a part on them! The individual life of work, family, sleep is not enough for me!
Thanks. Please do a video on gifted adults. Another problem is people who aren't as bright as you feel threatened by you or call you a know it all out of jealousy or insecurity even when you're not trying to be one.
I wonder if another thing some gifted people experience is discovering that many doctors and other experts have no clue about a lot of what they are talking about and don’t like being corrected because it’s “backed by experts”.
I have been slapped around with the 'gifted' label all my life. When I was very young, I could draw, I was good in school (all subjects except PE), and I was constantly told, 'Oh, you're so smart, everything just comes easily for you.' That is an unbelievably toxic thing to say to a child. My ego and my expectations went through the roof because of it. The subsequent hazing and verbal bludgeoning I got from the other kids was confusing and terrifying. As an adult, I knew I was special, but I was totally lost because I didn't know how to access any of it. I recognize every point in your list as something I have personal experience with. Over the last 15 years I have finally gotten myself together, but it's been a hard road. Giftedness is something we give to the world and the people around us. For ourselves, we simply learn survival.
Sometimes I wonder if giftedness can be mistaken for autism because of the difficulty with communication. Add being Introverted and Intuitive (IN...MBTI type), and that adds to the social disconnect. This really makes it hard to explain myself in a conversation. I can name a few pieces of evidence for my opinion, but then I have to painstakingly show, one by one, how each piece of the puzzle fits with all the others. Other people think in a straight line. I think in a zig zag. I can get lonely by myself, but it's even lonelier being around people I can't connect with.
Oh yeah. Deeply knowing that you're on some right track but it's so hard to show to others and it feels like they think you just didn't think things through. I often just want to discuss things so that some creation and new visions happen because I really love that feeling of synergy, but I experience that people want to win the discussion rather than expand and explore.
I've heard one psychologist call it "eating a snack" when a gifted person socializes with typical people. We know we're not satisfied, but we know that we need to eat something to be a healthy and functioning person. Then we get together with another gifted mind and it feels like we're finally "eating a feast." Yes, I've actually chosen to tell a few people that I'm "neurodivergent," and they immediately jump to the conclusion that I'm autistic because they see the socialization differences.
Giftedness does share traits with both adhd and autism, which can lead to misdiagnosis if an individual is twice exceptional. I was shown to be gifted about 6th grade and many of my behaviors also mimic the autism spectrum, but some traits also mimic adhd. The big thing to be aware of is how others will perceive you if you adopt the gifted label.
Actually Its quite common for women to be diagnosed much later in life due to the way autism presents differently. It can present differently in males too then the stereotypical presentation. There is quite an overlap. Feeling alien, social struggles, giftedness are big markers of undiagnosed Autistic adults. I got to know I was gifted later in life along with a mild form of Autism I did not know I had which explained social struggles and unusual intensity in interests etc. I had a friend who thought he was just very introverted, I spoke about being diagnosed with Autism at one stage, he must of researched it because I found later that he had been diagnosed as Autistic.
It’s like being normal but everyone else around you is a Forrest Gump. They don’t get you because they literally can’t. So you live with Forrest and appreciate him, but that lack of connection makes you feel very alone.
The issue I have had is that because I am somewhat well spoken, people don't always take me seriously when I tell them that I am struggling with my mental health. The feedback I have received at times was incredulous. "For a depressed person you sure do explain things well." "For somebody who's having such a hard time, you really don't sound like it when you talk."
I mask with cheerfulness, so very few have any clue how I'm truly feeling. Then, on the rare occasion I open up, some have responded with disbelief at what I'm going through, because, "you're always so happy!". ☠️
So very much me. I present fairly competent so I've had people assume that everything comes easy to me (even a partner thought that). Those who I'm closest to know though that I work hard for just about ever success and it's only because I'm resilient AF that I manage to pop back up after a knock down.
I graduated in 1988. When in primary school I often couldn't tell the difference between the gifted & the special educational needs kids. Both groups always seemed a bit socially off.
Omg, always awkward with people, always good with grades, always aware internally and externally of peoples feelings( an intuition that something just wasn’t right). I’ve always felt alien, like I was different and didn’t belong. I’ve always been good at art and a very quick learner in anything I did. I’ve always been very analytical. People would always call me an “old soul” when I was a little girl. I have trouble showing people I’m interested, because my brain is racing at the same time. I get bored in conversation and sometimes angry if I have to talk to someone I feel has a lower intelligence level. I had to “breakup” with my last therapist for that reason. I don’t think anything has ever resonated with me so intensely.
You have no idea how much this resonates with me. My major problem is I don’t know how to make them see what I see, since I was a kid, I notice all adults are so ignorance. I skip steps and i just know the answer. Initially I didn’t know I am talented because I thought everybody can do it. I thought what I do is normal . Until my math teacher told me otherwise. My math teachers are the group of people who really fascinating the way my brain work because I have answers with all kind of short cut nobody ever discover. But, when I grow up, I don’t have math teacher anymore who truly appreciate my talent. In fact I have to hide what I already know all the time, because it only create conflict in most case, they won’t be able to see what I see. I get irritated by the conversation with others. I am working in an engineer company, I understand everything in 5 minutes and see all risk and know the result, but I can’t make them understand how far I already know, I have to shut up and watch them make all the mistakes and found out what I already know at beginning. I always face the choice of “should I tell them the truth, or play along with the game.” It is so lonely.
I started crying violently in public while watching this because it validates so much of my experience especially the difficulty finding people who match you, think like you, feeling alien, masking etc :( thanks so much for this
This is 100%! I grew up feeling very Alien, I was always called a genius or gifted because I was doing things far beyond my age in electronics and art, yet I felt this dreaded feeling I wasn't good enough because I didn't feel myself like the others or fitting into the social norms.. Then about 10 years ago I got tested and found I was highly gifted, I still feel I'm broken in a sense but hearing videos like this help me to feel like I'm not alone. I did have a community of gifted people and I felt so connected to them, but we are so few.. Thanks so much for this!! I'm also like you where I found other ways than getting addicted to drugs or anything like that. but when I'm stressed I will overindulge in these things just as much. Luckily my wife is very good at keeping up with my thoughts and I feel she also fits the gifted category
All the things you mention are very recognizable, but for me it did not directly lead to depression,but extreme anxiety. If I am not feeding "the beast" with complex material to chew on, it will start checking every signal from outside and inside my body to make sure I'm "safe". This means analyzing every symptom into all possible diseases (my brain is an encyclopedia on these by now) computing likelihoods of failure of structures, being very sensitive to smells. It. is. so. tiresome.
12:47 Not for me. On the contrary. My existential despair is due to the appalling lack of life in others. Most of the time I wonder if I am the only one left alive on this planet. It feels like walking through a cemetery filled with gloomy ghosts who can inflict harm due to their stupidity (mostly).
Not only am I gifted but I'm also considered a high functioning autistic individual. My fixation is music and that's where I shine, though I naturally lack the ability to play with others face to face or in front of anyone due to social complications (I immediately shut down). It's fun to do on video and there's no trouble there, but you'll never catch me posing for a photo (cause that's to me the equivalent of acting and acting is fake). Ask me how I'm doing and I'll tell you, but ask me how I am and watch me stumble to make sense of the question.
Based on my raw IQ score, I am not considered gifted....however, I do share many of the qualities of gifted people and score in the lower range of genius in 2 subsets of IQ. Yes, exactly. When I meet somebody who is at my IQ level or higher, it does indeed feel like meeting a fellow native speaker of my language. I get so excited and engage in sone serious verbal diarrhea, bouncing from one engaging topic to another. 😊
I wonder, do you ever feel like when taking tests, you get bored of the monotony of the action of testing and just answer whatever cuz in the end it doesn’t produce that much of a result? I find iq tests very boring so i don’t ever know if the result is accurate to me generally or just right now cuz I forgot to eat that morning and couldn’t care less if this pattern is this way or not. I’ll even sometimes to avoid using too much brain power to analyze a question, I’ll analyze the probability of each answer being incorrect with inferences and pick the best guess. I was slightly above average in school cuz I could pass without studying or remembering to do homework cuz I didn’t care, and other kids saw my haphazard operation + the mask and thought I was foolish, but even if I didn’t study, kids would cheat off me cuz they trusted my best guess better than their own.
My EQ is pretty high. My IQ, not so much. I'm not a big puzzles person, but put me in a room full of people and I'm charming, funny, articulate.... Or quietly observing from a corner 🤣. Depends a lot on my energy level and the mix of people in the room.
With my 8 yo, fortunately that “big picture thinking,” helps her keep perspective. Teachers become more critical of social mistakes the better you “blend in,” but we remember daily that she isn’t there for her teachers. The more successful you become at social interactions, the more invisible that work is, especially new teachers. It is an inverse reward system: most humans derive benefits from social success, where socially-challenged individuals are punished for their success with ever increasing scrutiny, criticism, and demands to do better in the form of increased workload. Humans respond to reward instead of punishment as a general rule. Punishments for success are demoralizing and depressing. She may be gifted, but she may as well be playing an away game with jet lag.
Lewis.. I recognize that. My internet activity is very restricted/controlled, I think. It seems likely I might have the ability to like have some good ideas sometimes. Even if I'm just guessing in areas I'm not really educated in. It seems to be useful, I see signs in reality sometimes that correspond with things I'm not aware of but that seem to have some connection to things I've thought about. I did very much drugs, not going to lie about that. I did ask for legal help, first, though.. So I won't take like all the blame for that. But yeah.. I kinda avoided basically all substances that would have helped calm me down, though, which is a little weird, I guess :) They would have been the most useful. I've asked the psychiatry for like 15 years. I finally worked up the courage to ask again recently, since I had just had an exceptionally troubling period of many years. But no dice, they did not even believe me, called me paranoid and wanted to put me on antipsychotics. Which doesn't like do anything for the symptoms I have/had. Anyway, I like fired her, and aside from like ADHD meds, I've been stone-cold sober now for like 4 months. First time since I was like 13. Everyone thinks I'm crazy/on drugs, though. But I'm not :) Even quit nicotine and my depression meds, citalopram. They always tell me not to quit those things stone cold turkey.. But I almost always do, :D I think it's because I hate them a little for never listening or doing what I say. Same reason I like don't hang out with my family.
Another one: how easily we change our minds when presented with new information. Typical people will feel their stance challenged and need time to absorb the new information. Gifted minds just sort of hit the “refresh” button and the world view is updated, sometimes with a complete 180 on a previous firm belief. As I grew up I found this to be one of the trickier ones to deal with. Smart people don’t do this, they still need to re-process and re-evaluate. And they tend to be pretty proud and not accept failure easily. So it can really confuse them when we just instantly accept we were wrong, adapt and move on. I guess it also links a bit to the existential part. When you know you are really smart you don’t need to hear it from other people. Instead you go for no-nonsense curiosity of “what’s next?”. After all, realizing that a “constant” in your world view was wrong opens up a whole new range of possibilities for what else could be re-assessed. This rapid shift towards challenging EVERYTHING confuses the hell out of most regular smart people. Because their brain cannot follow the lightspeed expansion of thoughts in all directions to recalibrate. It challenges their understanding of their own intelligence/self that triggers a stress response that just makes it worse. The irony is that they will likely conclude we are not as smart as they thought. Which is a problem for those gifted that did not develop the number-skills most people will associate with super-high intelligence. Like instant multiplications of large numbers. Most gifted minds learned enough math to practically live life and obsess about things. Only a few will choose mathematics as their passion for working memory fun during their forming years. The rest will likely lead a life of being misunderstood and classified as strange. Bonus one: along the lines of shooting down ideas because we evaluate them while listening… We don’t like “brainstorms” and “bouncing ideas” with typicals. They tend not to like fixating on combining the few novel ideas to see where they lead, as they are too busy reinventing the wheel. Which frustrates the gifted as there may be something new and novel at hand, but people are busy exploring the concepts they feel they can contribute to while we already know where they will lead.
I gave up masking. I realized it is a waste of time and energy. When you find people that you can trust, it is kind to you and authentic and enjoy your company, you don’t need to mask, you are free to be yourself. Awful people will still be awful even if you mask so, who cares about what they think about you?
Small talk pretty much hurts my head. If I want a really decent in-depth long ranging conversatio I have to go online and listen to a Sam Harris podcast etc.
From experience, the checklist of life events that many Gifted experience. It's not fun and takes a lot of patience, calm, failure, and acceptance to get over these: - Endless interest in things, no interest in learning them properly or from others, and poor ability to finish projects because of other interests (something shared with ADHD). - Brains skipping steps, having issues explaining how they got there, and seeming like they're not paying attention it the meantime. - Terrible small talk (and related, empathy) skills. It's too boring or they can't imagine other mindsets well (something shared with Autism). - The social expectation they'll be good at everything, something only more intensely felt from inside their minds, and crippling anxiety because of this. - Valuing their self worth based on impossible standards (Perfectionism), then hating everything that isn't perfect, or never being happy with their work. - Expectation of ease and instant perfection that, when shattered, cause emotional shattering. This can create cynicism, despair, anger, and learned helplessness. - Total inability to do or learn things the normal, slow way resulting in crashing and burning in life (see: rates of suicide or permanent disability). - Inflated ego, they're better than everyone else. Also staggering loneliness, for the same reasons. - Existential dread, a need to contribute or understand more, and the inability to really appreciate the present.
Asperger's is an old term. Today you'd call this person autistic AND gifted. Having two neurodivergencies is actually quite common. Statistically, 50%-70% of autistic people can now be diagnosed with ADHD according to some research, which was a change about 10 years ago in the DSM.
@KSLewisLearning yea, I'm probably on the spectrum. Mildly so and definitely ADHD. I still have a pension, friends, lead a community group of 80 people etc. Gifted in certain respects yes but being on the spectrum is a disability because we live in a world of people who aren't and expect YOU to get with them. Not the other way around. And, having to figure out how others think which is not how you think and notice how others act which is not how you would act is most definitely a handicap. Then, consider what you don't notice because that's one of the biggest things NT notice about people on the spectrum is that they seem oblivious to many things which NT see as obvious. My apologies for not taking the time to make this grammatically correct. But the ideas are very clear I think. Oh, and I have a clocked 130 IQ. So you don't have to talk down to me.
Hi Kathleen, I'm from Brazil, and I just want to say that you described me in great detail in this video! I've been going through a lot recently, and then I discovered giftedness. Your video helped me realize I'm not alone. Thank you for sharing your story with us! God bless you.✨
I'm from Brasil as well, you're definitely not alone. Pq eu tô falando em inglês? Eu só gostaria de conhecer mais pessoas por perto de mim, pra ter um grupo de amigos que me entendessem
Absolutely not. I could get onto my soap box on how the gifted are being under-identified in low income school districts due to uninformed teachers, but I'll refrain. As I stated in the video, I'm using the neuroscience definition of giftedness: a difference in brain wiring which results in quicker thinking, easier memory, bigger emotions, out of the box ideas, etc. If you're interested in more details, check out the list of resources in the description from PhDs in various fields talking about giftedness.
@@KSLewisLearning Thanks for writing down. Is there a way to verify a person is gifted if some one claims they are gfited. I know there are insstutions like mensa etc which provides certificates or equivalent. But is there a a way to verify this. My concern is i dont want to waste my time without confirming if a person is really gifted.
There are 2 ways to officially determine giftedness: an IQ test (which only measures the thinking flexibility of the brain, so many experts say it's an outdated method) or an evaluation by a psychologist that specializes in giftedness. If you don't need an official "diagnosis" and are just seeking to understand yourself better, you could read the books or website I've listed to see if the gifted experience resonates with you. Most unidentified gifted adults tend to be in denial until they are absolutely convinced by the evidence, and I think this is because we are so hard on ourselves like I referenced in the video.
@@KSLewisLearning My question is not about finding about oneself. Its about verifying others who claim they are gifted. Sorry if i was not clear enough.
This is 100% me! Especially the skip thinking and processing speed. And learning social scripts to keep going, and playing a small portion of my mind to pay attention until it's time for me to express myself.
I tell people that when I get stressed I can't finish my sentences because my brain is onto the next thought before I've finished the sentence. This before I even started learning about being gifted. It's like I was speaking the language but couldn't translate it for myself.
I moved to outside Oxford. Now my friends are Dons and Oxford alumni. My best friend had three degrees and is doing her PHd this year. We just gravitate to each other.
I identify with everything said, except no substance abuse but get addicted to challenging puzzle games and constantly have to delete the games. Also I have a good self esteem thanks to my parents and all Glory to God! I struggle with feelings of depression, wishing and praying that Jesus can come for His Church because this life feels so meaningless...
Being gifted is hardly a gift if you don't have the proper support growing up. Whether it be that everyone knows it and expects too much of you, or that nobody wants to recognize you're smarter than them because it hurts their frail ego. So they ostracize you and treat you like you're stupid, simply for being different and questioning things.
Same. My sister and I are gifted. My sister has trouble making friends because of her demeanor and attitude but also thinks she's frustrated because of her intelligence.
Great question! I'm going to avoid using the term "intelligence" in the hopes that I can be clearer in my explanation. I have a neurodiverse brain that is faster and more flexible than a typical brain, which does enable me to learn information quickly and understand complex subjects with greater ease than a typical person. However, that does not mean a typical person could never learn the same information through hard work and a longer time frame. Here is the way this reality plays out in my marriage: I'm married to a mechanical engineer who has achieved his masters degree and knows a lot more math and physics than I ever learned through formal education. We both greatly enjoy discussing theory in any number of subject areas, and this shared desire is all from our personality preferences, not a reflection on IQ. My lack of advanced education in physics and math just means my husband has to take 2-5 minutes to give me a quick summary of a subject that I may not be familiar with, and then we can discuss whatever related concept to both his and my satisfaction. If it's a subject or idea that I'm explaining to him, I may have to take 15-30 minutes to completely build out the concepts for him to achieve the same level of understanding, but he does get there and then we can discuss the idea more. Both my husband and I find our conversations very fun and stimulating, but I believe that's because my husband is a "typically-brained" intellectual. Most "typically-brained" people don't want to put in the effort needed to learn something new so they can socialize with a gifted person's current interest, so that is one of the key barriers to being "merrily" married. Another key issue is our commitment to each other. We both want to put in the work to make this marriage a success. We both respect each other's differing abilities and value those differences. I greatly value the steadiness that comes from my husband: his steady emotions through a conversation that I'm starting to get upset about because he isn't getting it yet, his steady determination to resolve conversations/conflicts until I feel heard and understood, and his steady determination to stand by me through all my gifted chaos that I talk about in this video. There are very few neurotypical people out there willing to put in the work to amicably socialize with gifted, autistic, and/or ADHD people, so it is amazing when you do find these "normal" people.
@@KSLewisLearning Thank you for your wonderful answer! First of all I am truly glad that you have found such a great husband and that you both live marriage the way it should be lived imho! I can truly relate, bc I have the same kind of marriage. Have you ever considered that it could be personality preferences and a reflection on IQ? I understand you don't like the term intelligence, and I don't like what it triggers in people, but I'll úse it anyways because it seems to be the correct term to me. So I guess that your husband is at least not very much less intelligent than you are (considering his wish for and ability to learn from you). The difference in grasping speed could be explained by the complexity of the topic. Physics is very simple compared to e.g. social dynamics. You can explain the basics of quantum entanglement much faster and less complex than the basics of the behaviour of a 14 year-old girl. Try to explain what you explain to your husband within needed 30 minutes to an IQ 90 someone who wants to listen to and understand you within the same time. I predict you'll fail. Nevertheless I fully concur that finding someone you can harmonize with intellectually is true bliss and uncommon. Especially intelligent women tend to marry unbelievably bad imho. What should people like you do to improve the chances to meet someone like your husband? (This is a topic I'm very interested in, bc I think that the right spouse is both the biggest task and the biggest source of happiness if managed to find).
I was recently tested at the 99th percentile at Mensa Singapore, and have an estimated IQ of 150+. I agree with many things you've said, just that a few points I think you were being vague or couldn't pinpoint. The instinct, gut feeling is really more of our superior logic, we've assessed the situation/methods that someone else says and we know it doesn't make much sense and that it wouldn't work, or we have already worked out a better plan with fewer, more efficient steps. Being intelligent can be so lonely, not having anyone to relate to and having to navigate around people's feelings. Having to constantly filter your words and avoid stating your opinion because it would upset people as your opinion is very different from the popular one, it requires critical thinking and logic that the average person is simply incapable of. Intelligence is basically one's degree of logic. When one possess superior logic, one has superior intelligence. Having superior logic grants better critical thinking skills, reasoning ability, fluid reasoning which allows one to evaluate better, weigh the pros and cons, compare the options and make the optimal choices. Logic is the building block of intelligence. Logic is intelligence itself.
I appreciate your clarification help! I believe our thinking patterns go a little beyond logic though based on some of the things I've been reading about the neurology of a gifted brain. Yes, we have a greater capacity for logic, but there is an extremely large creative component that pure logic doesn't account for in my opinion. Sometimes it's so hard to describe our experiences to someone who doesn't have the same viewpoint. It's like one of those rare people that can see ultraviolet light explaining what they see to the rest of us!
Isn’t it weird to talk about your iq on the internet? I am married to someone with likely that iq and he couldn’t care less about having that iq, never mentions it.
@@di3486 It's likely that you assume I'm boastful or lying about my IQ. I've stated it as a reference point despite what you might think. Higher IQ correlates with degree of logic, allowing one to see things clearer and with better understanding. That's the point that I'm driving at.
7:40 But it’s not gonna work. Why waste time? Can we try something that might work? No. Of course not. Because the stupid idea is the other’s baby and it took him/ her 9 months to produce it; they’re not just gonna discard it. Let’s wait 18 years to see.
I don't know if I'm gifted, but I relate a lot to most of the things you share, specially the existential part, the intensity of the emotions... Thank you so much for sharing :)
Great question! From what I've learned from other people and parents, you have 2 options. 1) Use a therapist that specialize in giftedness. Unfortunately, it looks like SENG removed their list of specialists from their website, so an already rare specialist is harder to find. You might find success with a Google search in for your closest large city, but I personally haven't found one in my city of several million doesn't have one. 2) Find a regular therapist that you feel comfortable with and who is willing to learn about giftedness and its impact on your experience. I have heard great things about this option, but it would be a learning curve for both of you. I hope you find the support you need!
Ugh, so 222 is "the number" that won't leave me alone since waaay back, and your comments are at 222. I remember when I was in High School there was the Gifted and Talented classes, and in X-Men the parallels were kind of creepy. My hazel eyes (rare). It's funny I tried to underachieve intentionally my Sophomore year because something in me said "don't be identified." So if you mean gifted and tormented, yeah. My life actually collided with John Nash (Game Theory/A Beautiful Mind) because in the 90s I worked at a commodities company in Princeton and my brother-in-law at the time worked at the University, so he was involved with Nash and I would see him walking home from time to time when I visited the campus (also had to navigate around the sudden filming on location for the movie). When I saw the movie, I became mindful (idk sadly a pun) that sometimes internalizing and suppressing our gifts are important for our ability to just live a normal life, knowing when to switch it on and off, but yeah it gets lonely quick. It was heartbreaking when I watch a video of Nash who endured shock treatment due to having paranoid episodes, who finally admitted why he was cured (it was unprecedented), he replied simply, "I just stopped." I ended up making six figures in tech in global markets on Wall Street with no formal background or finalized degree because I just "knew how to code." There is definitely a fine line between gifted and insane, but when I have dreams now and see patterns and know what's coming somehow (or wake up just knowing weird things like what a birthday cake truly represents and what the candles are about), I keep them to myself or just dump them in the comment section of a skeptic because, meh, they literally are begging for it - then I feel better.
I was diagnosed ADHD inattentive a few months ago, after my son was diagnosed ADHD and gifted. I was diagnosed gifted yesterday. I struggle to find resources for adults.
Yes, finding resources for the newly diagnosed gifted adult is hard, but I'm also learning that practical resources are also scarce for gifted kids as well because most literature focuses on academic needs rather than social/emotional/psychological. Intergifted is really the best organization I've found so far for us adults, so be sure to check them out!
Everyone thought I had adhd, did the very lengthy tests, turns out Im on the 1% of IQ curve, dont have adhd and the neuropsychologist applying the test arrived at the conclusion that im gifted. They way I like to describe what you said about the gut feeling is by an analogy of texture and taste of food. While the person is talking, their arguments have a "texture", just like an apple, so I feel the texture of the apple in my mouth at the beginning of their argument, while they are talking I analyse, by the taste, to see if it is indeed an apple or something very similar, by the end of their point I know it is an apple and can deliver my point of view if the apple is a good or bad pathway.
That's an interesting illustration!! From what I've read, gifted people tend to be excellent at creating illustrations about a concept to help others understand it... and we tend to create a lot of illustrations. Also, have you heard of synesthesia? Your illustration just made me think you might be one of those amazing people who experience it! 🙂
For me it's like this knowing pressure and then i'm dying to get it out and say something. While i'm learning though I thought i was a weirdo for this but when my brain is going off my nose starts to go too i'm like sniffing as if i'm smelling something my nostrils are flaring and my eyes are wide like i'm come upon something super important. It's as if i've narrowed in on something exquisitely tasty but it's a reaction to me being super in the zone and my brain is firing so fast and smoothly all the synapses firing my spidey senses tingling i'm absolutely sharply focused and i feel alive🙂It was doing it the whole time i typed that too lol my nose was going because the intellectual stimulus is exciting to talk about. There's no smell to things i just start smelling i think it's to do with how i really feel and sense things so my senses are tingling. I feel like a mouse or a beaver with their nose and whiskers rapidly flaring and twitching when their instincts and intuition starts going off lol first funny images that come to my head.
I don’t have depression. It’s past that point because I really don’t see the point of continuing to subject myself to abuse from the stupid. It is painful and downright insulting. Being with gifted people won’t solve the problem because I have met very intelligent people who are complete arseholes. I am an alien and I am SO going home. Or whatever, anywhere but here. I am done. 100%.
I never really classified myself as gifted until watching this video. Looking back it makes sense. I find conversing with AI does help sometimes as AI can keep up with the analogies that I use.
I’m not diagnosed but I decided to look into it… a relate to all what you said here, and didn’t ever consider any possibility of being different… I’m 42…😢
I’ve never taken an IQ test, but I can relate to many of the challenges associated with being gifted. However, one thing I struggle with is learning quickly. I tend to overcomplicate topics, which causes me to lose sight of the simplicity, especially in subjects like math. In primary school, teachers would explain things in a straightforward way, but I found their methods too shallow, which made me feel like I didn’t really understand, leading to poor results. At university, I learned to simplify my thinking, which helped, but I still need time to fully grasp topics. I often require more background information to connect the dots and feel confident in my understanding, which results in longer learning curves. While this process allows me to know more details than my peers, the fast pace of school doesn’t always give me the time I need to delve deeper into subjects. So, it makes me wonder whether my learning style and approach still fit the profile of giftedness, despite these challenges..
You're describing a classic gifted struggle, from what I've read in all the literature from professionals. The profoundly gifted psychologist at InterGifted explains that the higher IQ a person has the harder simple tasks become because that person tends to want to complicate things. Simple questions become rabbit holes of thought while the mind considers all possibilities before finally coming to a conclusion that is both in depth and frequently can appear very simple. Personally, while most issues and questions are fairly simple for me to work through because I recognize the need to have quick solutions, every once in a while I fall into that trap of overthinking things myself... like playing a board game with a group of friends and getting stuck on guessing "the average salary of people in New York City." There are just too many nuances to that question for me to consider. 🙂
I just learned from a file folder of seemingly lab rat level testing throughout my entire childhood that I’m somewhere between “highly” to “profoundly” gifted. Help. What do I do? What resources do I tap into?
Phew! I can empathize with what you're feeling right now, because that's similar to how I discovered my giftedness a couple years ago. I highly suggest you start with the website InterGifted which has very useful blogs regarding newly discovering giftedness as an adult. There's also a podcast they publish which I've found helpful as well, if only because it's two profoundly gifted people talking through issues they had to work through themselves. Next, I'd suggest getting your hands on the book Living with Intensity, which is widely recommended as a foundational book for understanding the gifted life. I'm still discovering and working through my giftedness, but I hope my channel can at least give you encouragement that you're not alone!
Hi there! I've been MIA for a while due to some significant life things, but I just saw that it seems I never responded to you so I wanted to make sure I do that now! I've got that list of resources in the description that could be helpful, and I just added a ton of books that I haven't gotten around to reading yet that could be useful for you. I think the most helpful "instant" resource is the Intergifted website I've linked too. The leader of that organization is a profoundly gifted psychologist who has some incredible insight into the giftedness discovery journey. Ultimately, each of us on this journey needs to do a whole lot of learning and reflection initially as we re-process our lives through a new framework of understanding. If you still feel the need to speak to someone to get extra guidance, then you can seek out a psychologist or "coach" that specialize in working with the gifted, and they can help talk you through things. Best wishes on your journey!
I have trouble with the difference of being gifted and being on the spectrum. I was diagnosed with being on the spectrum with a splinter skill. I feel like everything you mention is what I described in my assessment to being on the spectrum. I really feel like the spectrum is not divided enough yet to differentiate both.
I agree. I believe most psychologists are uninformed about giftedness, so there are a ton of misdiagnoses or non-identification of gifted individuals. I have heard multiple people express a desire to see more research on the overlaps between autism, giftedness, and ADHD because we notice many similarities between these groups of neurodivergent people especially since "twice exceptionalities" are common.
I’m Autistic with an IQ between 125-130. It’s rare find people I can connect with and relate to. I feel all of these. I never believe all the praise and/or compliments I get. I always feel like no, I’m not that good, I could be better and because I’m not better, I’m not good lol When I talk to people they always tell me how intelligent I am, that I’m wise well beyond my years, praise my musical talent, my vivid memory, even things going back to childhood describing events and places with exact details. Due to the ASD, I’m always learning and educating myself. My wife is always saying I’m so smart and I make her feel stupid because she can’t comprehend how I cram so much knowledge in my head in such a short amount of time. Im not bragging either. It feels like a curse half the time. Im so misunderstood, it’s hard to make friends. People tend to think I’m just a know it all because I typically always have a solution or correct answer for things they find difficult to grasp. Being both Autistic and having high intellectual capabilities while basically being socially r*tarded sucks and is lonely af. Especially with the downfalls of the Autism that limit me in certain ways. It’s really a hellish existence for me. And i have ADHD and BPB as comorbidities with the ASD…shit sucks with my mental health. It’s a lot to deal with. I feel like a loser in some aspects because it holds me back. No one in my little rural southern area gets me. And not in a mean way, but they’re all relatively low IQ. Barely literate, always drinking, cant pronounce a lot of words right, struggle with basic math, cant comprehend abstract ideas or anything. I get looked at like I’m from another planet, or like I’m insulting them somehow.
I think this comment wiould make a lot of people feel like they are not the only one who experience this. Your situation sounds really difficult, especially the area you live in. I have a feeling you would feel positively different in another environment. It takes a lot of daily energy to adapt in this situation. It makes me thankful that I live in an area /country where I can morre easily find my people - my tribe. Reading your story, would be good a movie script.
I am mildly gifted and my old community college friends were moderately gifted and my old highschool buddy from cross country was profoundly gifted. My community college and college friends I don't know. But they may be mildly gifted to moderately gifted. My parents are gifted in one area each so maybe they are savants? I don't know.
if you are "gifted", then you are neurodivergent. It´s an umbrella concept (ASD, ADHD, dislexya, etc) There are often overlapping diagnoses, you can be asd and gifted at the same time, AsD and ADHD, etc
@@pedrova8058 I started to disagree that the gifted are really neurodivergent, but when I thought about it, I realized it is a plausible (although not "slam dunk") interpretation of this right tail phenomenon. BTW, I like how you spelled dyslexia, because I assume it was done for humorous effect (but maybe not???).
I'm Autistic and creatively gifted. Not sure of my IQ but it seems like its higher than adverage. Chat GPT thinks so lollol. People get triggered by my intellect and their own projections. Women hate me because I'm conventionally attractive, which also makes it hard to make friends as they are jealous and my life is extremely hard bc if trauma and hEDS, but no one cares bc they are too busy competing. Fellow Autists are the bomb
Hard relate to most of it, especially the existential crises and feelings of meaninglessness. I feel like it is currently a lot more trendy to just call giftedness "autism", which makes everyone think it is great to be diagnosed with it, and is harmful to the people who actually are autistic.
I don't know if I'm gifted, but I have been accused of it by a few people. I have always doubted my own intellect. I have a tendency to feel inferior to others, particularly in my field, and it drives me insane. My field: I am infatuated with theoretical physics. My appreciation for the subject may seem superficial, because I am seduced by the mathematical beauty and elegance, even more so than the truth itself. I find data analysis and experimental science to be boring and dull. I can't stand it. I find the depth that comes with theoretical and foundational analysis much more stimulating, often, again, because it is accompanied by a pseudo-aesthetic appeal. And idk what it is about small talk, but it feels very mechanical. I have a list of algorithms on how it should proceed in every conversation, and it's painfully banal to employ it every time. There is also a level of unpredictability in conversations. I don't know if it's due to ADHD, but the fact that I cannot always predict certain things (not what the other person is going to say, but how they may react) drives me insane. Some of my role models are/were gifted people. Isaac Newton, Mozart, Richard Feynman, Elon Musk, etc.
"Accuse" is an interesting word choice! I get your implication though. Yes, it is crazy that though we may excel in our chosen professions, we the gifted can be so negative about our own capabilities. Many people I've interacted with are convinced that there is a strong unproven connection between giftedness, autism, and ADHD, so it's possible you could fall into a combination of the 3 somewhere. I encourage you to find true answers using the resources I list in the description because I personally felt such relief to finally have a framework of my brain and psychology that makes sense!
@@KSLewisLearning There is a link between giftedness and autism because there are dozens of genes (at least) which contribute to both higher IQ & larger brain size, and also increase risk for autism. However, there does not seem to be any link with ADHD except to the extent that individuals high in both IQ and Openness - to - experience (or one or more of its facets) may sometimes be misdiagnosed as ADHD. Individuals high in both IQ and Openness are also sometimes diagnosed with 'overexcitabilities," a bogus diagnosis since they are really just high on a personality factor which interacts with high intelligence.
This all sounds like the experience of a neurodivergent person, tbh. I know many gifted people who don’t seem to have these issues. I am gifted also, and I have most of these problems, but it’s mostly because of my ADHD and chronic depression/ anxiety.
You're correct; this is a very common list of problems for the neurodivergent, and gifted people are neurodivergent. In my research on autism, ADHD, and giftedness, I found many common experiences, but the cause/source of the difficulties appears to be different. For example, perfectionism for an autistic person is usually about controlling their environment to help create a sense of safety, and I've heard many ADHD people are perfectionistic out of a desire to be accepted by others or to try to compensate for what they perceive as personal weaknesses. Of course, anxiety could also play a role too for the ADHD person's perfectionism. From the research I've read as well as personal experience, a gifted person usually is perfectionistic in trying to accomplish a vision on a project as pictured in their mind, which makes this brand of perfectionism the result of an internal, impossible standard, not an emotional safety net or the need to please someone else. As with ADHD, I believe there are gifted people with severe anxiety who's perfectionism shows up as OCD as well. The other thing I didn't make clear in the video about the gifted person is that we're great at hiding most of these issues from others. My closest friends and family members had no idea I was depressed for years, and co-workers never knew I had social issues because I am so great at internalizing things and just getting through with life. There is a profoundly gifted psychologist, Jenn, who tried to find help with her depression and existential issues years ago, but the colleague she sought help from told her that she was a perfectly well-adjusted individual and didn't need help. Jenn had to take a sabbatical from her practice to figure things out, and now she's one of the few psychologists in the world who specialize in helping in the gifted through their emotional needs. You can check her out on her website Intergifted!
I am 30 y. o. and takes me a long time to understand that "What do you say?" means almost everytime "Explain me it more slowly and with easier words". Haha. For real a little tired of being the leader figure for the people in almost every group interaction and try to assume that a lot of people (even people with decades older than me) have a childish mentality and basic point of view of the reality. But there is always the option of read Kant or Einstein books, and chill hearing Chopin. =)
The challenge of being ‘gifted’ is to think you’re ‘gifted’. Just like most no 1 draft picks almost always do very poorly. I have met a lot of really smart people. And I know a lot of former child prodigy’s. Very very verrrry few ever succeed in life because they cling on to the notion they’re ’gifted’. Well, 99.999% are really good at something at a young age. But once they reach early adulthood. That advantage pretty much disappears. And hard work takes over and ‘talent’ takes a back seat. Just look at child actors. Same thing.
You’re completely disregarding the fact that gifted minds work differently than neurotypical minds, and don’t assimilate easily into society. There’s research that shows that the highest earners are often not the most intelligent. That’s because society values being adaptable and useful in exchange for money. Those are often not gifted people’s strength.
Thank you and God bless you... It's not only about the accuracy of the giftedness challenges description. It's also about all your compassion that is a true gift for us who listen. This video moved me to tears as I am once again in my life at that point where I need to figure out how to make the best and overcome the challenges of giftedness...
It's easy to end up being the leader of a group... And then kind of seen as a parent. Almost like you're there to ruin their good time. When you're the voice of reason. Doesn't matter if you have a wild streak too. You're just seen as a wet blanket. Then years later, some folks come back to apologize You're just like yeah... I saw this train wreck going in slow motion. What can you do.
LOL that's exactly how people respond to me they act like high school teenagers and worse when someone is just out of high school and they even bully and abuse me over it acting like there's also something wrong with me for acting wise beyond my years like i'm somehow acting fake.
They act like i'm some "authority figure" they have to rebel against like i'm some oppressive force, when little do they know i share their distrust for authority figures for a dozen good reasons people on the "gifted" spectrum usually do. They make me feel like i'm just being bossy and then go on to discrediting, triangulating, and ostracizing me for it when i'm not trying to be a killjoy at all.
In fact i can have some pretty diablogical and chaotic moments sometimes but i'm guessing these are the people that were the class clowns and we know how unreasonable they can be, like everything has to be rebelled against no matter what it is, even things that don't need to be rebelled against that's doing them no harm, that's what makes them so unreasonable.
@@Harteo3917 ah, you were IDed as a gifted child too? how about that.
people see standards they don't like to be reminded of. they also don't like that fact that those standards have everything to do with someone wanting to do the right thing and nothing to do with making others impressed. they are highly miffed at those who refuse to treat others according to their "station" as well.
i can tell when someone finds me both attractive and intelligent, because they immediately set about trying *hard* to "gotcha" me on some kind of moral issue. it's like if only they can serve their referendum, then I am proven to not be the "full package", and therefore am not so great after all. 95% of the time, these people make sure to misunderstand me and use that as their "proof".
and when i started performing music as a frontwoman and gaining fans? dear god, the dog-piling, the sabotaging, the "i can't hear you la la la la la la"... was insane. pathologically insane.
@legalfictionnaturalfact3969 For me it was like people knew years before i understood it but it was like nobody ever wanted to explain it to me, at least i knew i was always different and it's hard not to notice really but i recognize this behavior even now people get angry i actually know what i'm on about lol at least the things i do know about.
Now i just watch and wait until they finally turn around and need my help after all lol could be hours or days but i'll wait😂because they won't listen before that. iIm being bossy and invasive and the normies feel they're top rank and everyone else is under it so we shouldn't be listened to.
Until of course they can't figure it out which is too often because they could actually be a lot more open minded about things but they also spend a lot of time minimizing themselves. Which ends up wasting a lot of time just so other people get their say but it's a waste of time when they don't know lol but they have to go through it all just to find that out.
Maybe some of it is dragging things out so their manager doesn't expect too much of them but it's still so frustrating because things never go fast enough for me lol i know we can figure this out a lot more quickly but they don't want to there's a general aversiveness to things it drives me crazy.
@@Harteo3917 true, they really don't listen until they're in a place to accept information. if it's someone i really find repugnant, i'll tell them the truth in a concise, very strong fashion even though they're not ready. then one day when they realize i was right, they stay away forever out of shame and pissiness.
good riddance. :)
ofc, at work things are more complicated.
"normies". haha. they are always straining to be seen as "totally normal completely normal nothing weird here!1"
meanwhile, basically every worthwhile historical figure, all the greats...yeah. none of them were normies.
@@Harteo3917 oh look, my response was deleted. oh well. all my best comments are on a clipboard app and i'm arranging them into a few different books. the comment deleted here will probably be useful.
normies don't make history. they are boring and lame. they take pride in their normieness and then get mad that they don't feel "special". lol. special means you take risks, children. X)
Hi there. I am a brazilian gifted, and I found out it only a few months ago, since my 10 years-old son started having lots of problems at school, until we took him to a psychologist and discovered he is gifted.
Since then, I watched literally all the videos about giftness in Portuguese, and now I am watching in English and French. And each video I find something new that I didn't know.
I had the very same bad experiences as you did, and I am not happy for that, but it's a relief knowing the reason, and also I am not alone.
Yes! You are not alone. I'm so glad I can share what I'm learning so that others can find support and healing.
Thank you for your video. It's comforting to know we are not alone, but understanding myself in this way doesn't seem to make things any easier and I continue to find life (relations with people) incredibly painful. One area in particular is the gifted curse of have a heightened and more nuanced perception of fairness and justice - it's out of sync with most people who, for example, would choose to defend one person who is a friend over righting something that is unfair to others at the expense of the friend that has been benefiting from the injustice thus far. It leads to being ostracized by peers who cannot see or refuse to acknowledge the inequity. It leads to being bullied. In one instance, this characteristic almost became an asset, as I was recruited for a job that fought for social justice...but one jealous person in a position of power managed to convince a whole committee of people to oust and vilify me to sabatoge my chance of getting the job. Though the job description called for social justice, I realized later that the politics of getting and keeping the job did not, and in fact required quite the opposite. One way to deal with this curse would be to just not care anymore and give up or let go; go with the flow. However, the cognitive dissonance of witnessing and letting inequities persist is like a shredding of the soul and leads to feeling like a coward just too chicken to do the right thing - which lowers my sense of self worth and makes me feel miserable. There is no winning. Anyway, I don't know if you have an answer for this, or if you can relate, but I wouldn't mind hearing your thoughts. If I'm so gifted and smart, why can't I find a solution? All I can find is perpetual frustration, anger, and deep sadness.
I hear you. I've not had trouble to the extent you have with social injustice, but I think that's mostly because I've intentionally chosen to disengage after a few experiences in highschool. I don't have a solution, but I think there is peace in understanding that our reality is different from those with the typical brain. We need to choose to accept and honor that some people have different viewpoints than we do just as we wish typical people could understand and respect our different experiences.
I hope you can find a safe space to express your need to improve social injustice! Or maybe just a specific person who can defend and advocate for your perspective.
Same here! It's really telling that so many gifted people just give up and become entrepeneurs. It would be one thing if people just didn't understand us, but the small-minded jealousy and cruelty are too much.
You described exactly what i always feel the world around me disgusts me because of mt sense of justice and needing what's right but i'm always ostracized for it too because people are bent these days, they don't want you uncovering all the fraud that's going on why everything is so messed up because it's all driven towards that not actually doing any good or being nice to people i kept learning that the hard way.
The best you can do is learn to be more tact and know when and where you belong not mistaking justice for getting involved with bad people because there's a lot of cult behaviors going on, so they make things sound appealing but it's the opposite they only want cult followers that will do anything they want them to blindly. So research things and places thoroughly before you even accept any interviews or whatever else because they probably thought you might be naive enough but we know nothing can be hid from us lol.
I have also always had a heightened sense of justice and fairness and a revulsion toward hypocrisy to the point that I bold myself accountable to any behavior I have that is hypocritical. That heightened self awareness thing.
This is my son, who is now in college, 100 %!!! I shared this with him.
I listened to this video at twice speed and understood every word like you were going at normal speed. That doesn’t happen very often.I’m totally on your wavelength
I was "gifted" with the gift of being told how gifted I am every time I fail. What a gift
Everyone makes mistakes or fails at times. It's called being human
I had the opposite. I had ADHD which masked my intelligence. I was treated like I was stupid by soo many people, yet I knew I understood more than them. I have a judgemental family, therefore I was a shy and sensitive child which made me a target for bullies.
I would imagine your situation to be just as bad, but on the other end of the spectrum.
Being gifted is hardly a gift if you don't have the right support growing up
@@Mircat123very probably my undiagnosed ADHD as a kid interfered with my full potential. Maybe with treatment and coaching, I can live this last chapter of my life to my full potential.
@@dmcmdrI hear you. Combine that with a Borderline mother, and what a doozy of a struggle.
@@dmcmdr Oh my god Yes! ADHD really does interfere with living up to your potential. It's a very, very common theme amongst ADHDers.
This was very enlightening. I've recently come to realize that I likely have ADHD. I'm 65, raised as an only child and, when talking about the reasons why I think I have it (on a wait list to get tested) and only just realized how much it has impacted my life, I say "I always procrastinated on everything and I only got away with that because I was smart and wrote well so I could write a one draft paper from research to completion in the 12 hours before it was due. All my report cards in elementary school said, D. is a bright student. If only she'd spend as much time on her homework as she does talking to her neighbors she'd do better "🤣
In adolescence I was tremendously awkward and often bullied and definitely didn't feel like one of the popular kids. As a young adult, I realized I was/am gay and (this is in the 70s) started going to clubs and dancing all night. While I used substances in high school, but substance use issues got more profound until age 24 when I entered recovery. Shortly after I finished treatment, I started working in HIV/AIDS work. Many of my friends were sick or had died and I was driven to "do something." I spent 21 years working in HIV/AIDS. Currently, I work in substance use prevention - - again, work with personal meaning - - and am a cultural anthropologist by training. I chose anthropology because I realized it is the one field of study that I felt I could study whatever my curiosity led me to.
I'm not sure that my IQ would put me in the gifted realm - I suck at math--but put a book, a pen, or a microphone in front of me and I am at home. I do not get nervous public speaking like many people do. I am as comfortable speaking off the cuff as I am doing any kind of formal presentation. I work in diverse communities and with people sometimes in their worst moments with compassion and kindness and have deep empathy for people's lived experience based on both my work experiences and my own lived experience. I've been told that I can charm the bark off of trees. I am definitely NOT a perfectionist 😂 and in a recently team building exercise at work, 3 out of 4 of my colleagues said that I am always authentically me (in a good way 😅).
I know I'm rambling a little, but I say all this to say that all of the above is the main reason why, at 65, I'm finally facing my ADHD. This current job, as a project coordinator, is the first time professionally that I've had to "show my work" and articulate each and every step and task 😢. I have struggled mightily to the point that I have nearly been written up. It's caused great anxiety and I can't use my usual get it done in the last twelve hours tricks. The giftedness masked, even from me, the true cause of my "procrastination," lateness, "winging it" style, and so many other things.
I will dive into your resources below but are there any validated self-tests and resources for adults who are just realizing that they may be 2e? Thank you.
Omg…you summed it up perfectly! All 15minutes and the one second explained what it’s like to a T.
I wonder if there a place besides the typical spaces to meet other folx organically
The only group for the gifted adult that I'm aware of is through the organization Intergifted. I've not tried it myself, but I've read the testimonies that say it's amazing.
@@KSLewisLearning thank you so much for even acknowledging my question and I will look it up
Me too. I need in person peeps. IRL
I wish there were more content directed at gifted adults rather than just children.
Hmm, I never looked into this, it makes sense.
It's like having a Lamborghini and no commuter car. Its flashy, can do some things really super fast and stuff but... its not exactly practical for daily commuting and picking up the groceries.
5:42 Teleporting 😂 Well said. But it’s like a spaceship- why waste time when I can teleport in various places and, once I find something interesting to explore, I stop and take my time exploring in depth or just enjoying it as aesthetic pleasure? Speaking of feeling like an alien… call me insane, I don’t care, but I am an alien. I must be, otherwise I cannot explain to myself what has been going on all of my rather miserable life amongst humans.
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences!! Is it is true for me conversations are super slow!! I also need retreat time to reflect upon what I have been doing!! I also feel that I am not contributing ( as you mention) in the big picture problems in the world that I can see there are lots of things to solve or improve in the big scale like politics, social and economic issues but I am not taking a part on them! The individual life of work, family, sleep is not enough for me!
Yes, the "thinking" time is so important for us!
Thanks. Please do a video on gifted adults. Another problem is people who aren't as bright as you feel threatened by you or call you a know it all out of jealousy or insecurity even when you're not trying to be one.
Thinking steps ahead of people is so real. I just assume that everyone sees the obvious 🤷
Pretty much describes my experience.
I wonder if another thing some gifted people experience is discovering that many doctors and other experts have no clue about a lot of what they are talking about and don’t like being corrected because it’s “backed by experts”.
AMEN! Resentment by the normies/compliant/follower majority is huge problem.
Exactly.
I have been slapped around with the 'gifted' label all my life. When I was very young, I could draw, I was good in school (all subjects except PE), and I was constantly told, 'Oh, you're so smart, everything just comes easily for you.' That is an unbelievably toxic thing to say to a child. My ego and my expectations went through the roof because of it. The subsequent hazing and verbal bludgeoning I got from the other kids was confusing and terrifying.
As an adult, I knew I was special, but I was totally lost because I didn't know how to access any of it. I recognize every point in your list as something I have personal experience with. Over the last 15 years I have finally gotten myself together, but it's been a hard road.
Giftedness is something we give to the world and the people around us. For ourselves, we simply learn survival.
Sometimes I wonder if giftedness can be mistaken for autism because of the difficulty with communication. Add being Introverted and Intuitive (IN...MBTI type), and that adds to the social disconnect. This really makes it hard to explain myself in a conversation. I can name a few pieces of evidence for my opinion, but then I have to painstakingly show, one by one, how each piece of the puzzle fits with all the others. Other people think in a straight line. I think in a zig zag. I can get lonely by myself, but it's even lonelier being around people I can't connect with.
Oh yeah. Deeply knowing that you're on some right track but it's so hard to show to others and it feels like they think you just didn't think things through. I often just want to discuss things so that some creation and new visions happen because I really love that feeling of synergy, but I experience that people want to win the discussion rather than expand and explore.
I've heard one psychologist call it "eating a snack" when a gifted person socializes with typical people. We know we're not satisfied, but we know that we need to eat something to be a healthy and functioning person. Then we get together with another gifted mind and it feels like we're finally "eating a feast."
Yes, I've actually chosen to tell a few people that I'm "neurodivergent," and they immediately jump to the conclusion that I'm autistic because they see the socialization differences.
@@KSLewisLearning I do wonder whether I'm gifted or high functioning autistic. I know I'm gifted, so that's most likely the case.
Giftedness does share traits with both adhd and autism, which can lead to misdiagnosis if an individual is twice exceptional. I was shown to be gifted about 6th grade and many of my behaviors also mimic the autism spectrum, but some traits also mimic adhd. The big thing to be aware of is how others will perceive you if you adopt the gifted label.
Actually Its quite common for women to be diagnosed much later in life due to the way autism presents differently. It can present differently in males too then the stereotypical presentation.
There is quite an overlap. Feeling alien, social struggles, giftedness are big markers of undiagnosed Autistic adults. I got to know I was gifted later in life along with a mild form of Autism I did not know I had which explained social struggles and unusual intensity in interests etc. I had a friend who thought he was just very introverted, I spoke about being diagnosed with Autism at one stage, he must of researched it because I found later that he had been diagnosed as Autistic.
It’s like being normal but everyone else around you is a Forrest Gump. They don’t get you because they literally can’t. So you live with Forrest and appreciate him, but that lack of connection makes you feel very alone.
The issue I have had is that because I am somewhat well spoken, people don't always take me seriously when I tell them that I am struggling with my mental health. The feedback I have received at times was incredulous. "For a depressed person you sure do explain things well."
"For somebody who's having such a hard time, you really don't sound like it when you talk."
I mask with cheerfulness, so very few have any clue how I'm truly feeling. Then, on the rare occasion I open up, some have responded with disbelief at what I'm going through, because, "you're always so happy!". ☠️
Depression doesnt make you dumb or incoherent....I wonder why they make that link.
So very much me. I present fairly competent so I've had people assume that everything comes easy to me (even a partner thought that). Those who I'm closest to know though that I work hard for just about ever success and it's only because I'm resilient AF that I manage to pop back up after a knock down.
I graduated in 1988. When in primary school I often couldn't tell the difference between the gifted & the special educational needs kids. Both groups always seemed a bit socially off.
yeah ! thats me !
Omg, always awkward with people, always good with grades, always aware internally and externally of peoples feelings( an intuition that something just wasn’t right). I’ve always felt alien, like I was different and didn’t belong. I’ve always been good at art and a very quick learner in anything I did. I’ve always been very analytical. People would always call me an “old soul” when I was a little girl. I have trouble showing people I’m interested, because my brain is racing at the same time. I get bored in conversation and sometimes angry if I have to talk to someone I feel has a lower intelligence level. I had to “breakup” with my last therapist for that reason. I don’t think anything has ever resonated with me so intensely.
I've had to break up with therapists I didn't feel took their own advice (that fairness thing 😂)
You have no idea how much this resonates with me. My major problem is I don’t know how to make them see what I see, since I was a kid, I notice all adults are so ignorance. I skip steps and i just know the answer. Initially I didn’t know I am talented because I thought everybody can do it. I thought what I do is normal . Until my math teacher told me otherwise. My math teachers are the group of people who really fascinating the way my brain work because I have answers with all kind of short cut nobody ever discover. But, when I grow up, I don’t have math teacher anymore who truly appreciate my talent. In fact I have to hide what I already know all the time, because it only create conflict in most case, they won’t be able to see what I see. I get irritated by the conversation with others. I am working in an engineer company, I understand everything in 5 minutes and see all risk and know the result, but I can’t make them understand how far I already know, I have to shut up and watch them make all the mistakes and found out what I already know at beginning. I always face the choice of “should I tell them the truth, or play along with the game.” It is so lonely.
I started crying violently in public while watching this because it validates so much of my experience especially the difficulty finding people who match you, think like you, feeling alien, masking etc :( thanks so much for this
Good ol ugly cry in the starbucks is good for the character ;D
Endogenous opioids, relieves stress hormones and floods system with endorphins. Crying is healthy medication. I toast you with a tissue and a car cry.
I am glad this video came to you. Wishing you growth mate.
You also learn to expect success by virtue of natural talent alone, without having to struggle for it. This becomes a problem later in life
One of the best uploads I have seen about the subject
This is 100%! I grew up feeling very Alien, I was always called a genius or gifted because I was doing things far beyond my age in electronics and art, yet I felt this dreaded feeling I wasn't good enough because I didn't feel myself like the others or fitting into the social norms.. Then about 10 years ago I got tested and found I was highly gifted, I still feel I'm broken in a sense but hearing videos like this help me to feel like I'm not alone. I did have a community of gifted people and I felt so connected to them, but we are so few.. Thanks so much for this!! I'm also like you where I found other ways than getting addicted to drugs or anything like that. but when I'm stressed I will overindulge in these things just as much. Luckily my wife is very good at keeping up with my thoughts and I feel she also fits the gifted category
All the things you mention are very recognizable, but for me it did not directly lead to depression,but extreme anxiety. If I am not feeding "the beast" with complex material to chew on, it will start checking every signal from outside and inside my body to make sure I'm "safe". This means analyzing every symptom into all possible diseases (my brain is an encyclopedia on these by now) computing likelihoods of failure of structures, being very sensitive to smells. It. is. so. tiresome.
thank you!
12:47 Not for me. On the contrary. My existential despair is due to the appalling lack of life in others. Most of the time I wonder if I am the only one left alive on this planet. It feels like walking through a cemetery filled with gloomy ghosts who can inflict harm due to their stupidity (mostly).
Not only am I gifted but I'm also considered a high functioning autistic individual. My fixation is music and that's where I shine, though I naturally lack the ability to play with others face to face or in front of anyone due to social complications (I immediately shut down). It's fun to do on video and there's no trouble there, but you'll never catch me posing for a photo (cause that's to me the equivalent of acting and acting is fake). Ask me how I'm doing and I'll tell you, but ask me how I am and watch me stumble to make sense of the question.
Based on my raw IQ score, I am not considered gifted....however, I do share many of the qualities of gifted people and score in the lower range of genius in 2 subsets of IQ.
Yes, exactly. When I meet somebody who is at my IQ level or higher, it does indeed feel like meeting a fellow native speaker of my language.
I get so excited and engage in sone serious verbal diarrhea, bouncing from one engaging topic to another. 😊
I wonder, do you ever feel like when taking tests, you get bored of the monotony of the action of testing and just answer whatever cuz in the end it doesn’t produce that much of a result? I find iq tests very boring so i don’t ever know if the result is accurate to me generally or just right now cuz I forgot to eat that morning and couldn’t care less if this pattern is this way or not.
I’ll even sometimes to avoid using too much brain power to analyze a question, I’ll analyze the probability of each answer being incorrect with inferences and pick the best guess. I was slightly above average in school cuz I could pass without studying or remembering to do homework cuz I didn’t care, and other kids saw my haphazard operation + the mask and thought I was foolish, but even if I didn’t study, kids would cheat off me cuz they trusted my best guess better than their own.
My EQ is pretty high. My IQ, not so much. I'm not a big puzzles person, but put me in a room full of people and I'm charming, funny, articulate....
Or quietly observing from a corner 🤣. Depends a lot on my energy level and the mix of people in the room.
With my 8 yo, fortunately that “big picture thinking,” helps her keep perspective. Teachers become more critical of social mistakes the better you “blend in,” but we remember daily that she isn’t there for her teachers.
The more successful you become at social interactions, the more invisible that work is, especially new teachers. It is an inverse reward system: most humans derive benefits from social success, where socially-challenged individuals are punished for their success with ever increasing scrutiny, criticism, and demands to do better in the form of increased workload. Humans respond to reward instead of punishment as a general rule. Punishments for success are demoralizing and depressing.
She may be gifted, but she may as well be playing an away game with jet lag.
She isn’t there for the teachers. ❤
Lewis.. I recognize that. My internet activity is very restricted/controlled, I think. It seems likely I might have the ability to like have some good ideas sometimes. Even if I'm just guessing in areas I'm not really educated in. It seems to be useful, I see signs in reality sometimes that correspond with things I'm not aware of but that seem to have some connection to things I've thought about. I did very much drugs, not going to lie about that. I did ask for legal help, first, though.. So I won't take like all the blame for that. But yeah.. I kinda avoided basically all substances that would have helped calm me down, though, which is a little weird, I guess :) They would have been the most useful. I've asked the psychiatry for like 15 years. I finally worked up the courage to ask again recently, since I had just had an exceptionally troubling period of many years. But no dice, they did not even believe me, called me paranoid and wanted to put me on antipsychotics. Which doesn't like do anything for the symptoms I have/had. Anyway, I like fired her, and aside from like ADHD meds, I've been stone-cold sober now for like 4 months. First time since I was like 13. Everyone thinks I'm crazy/on drugs, though. But I'm not :) Even quit nicotine and my depression meds, citalopram. They always tell me not to quit those things stone cold turkey.. But I almost always do, :D I think it's because I hate them a little for never listening or doing what I say. Same reason I like don't hang out with my family.
Okay wow I relate to this video so, so much. You vocalized the cons perfectly.
Wow. I turn 70 next month (Oct. 2024) and this is like you describe my interior life completely. AND a lot of overlaid trauma, too. Wow.
Like speaking a language that's not your native language when speaking with people. That resonated.
Another one: how easily we change our minds when presented with new information.
Typical people will feel their stance challenged and need time to absorb the new information.
Gifted minds just sort of hit the “refresh” button and the world view is updated, sometimes with a complete 180 on a previous firm belief.
As I grew up I found this to be one of the trickier ones to deal with.
Smart people don’t do this, they still need to re-process and re-evaluate. And they tend to be pretty proud and not accept failure easily. So it can really confuse them when we just instantly accept we were wrong, adapt and move on.
I guess it also links a bit to the existential part. When you know you are really smart you don’t need to hear it from other people. Instead you go for no-nonsense curiosity of “what’s next?”.
After all, realizing that a “constant” in your world view was wrong opens up a whole new range of possibilities for what else could be re-assessed.
This rapid shift towards challenging EVERYTHING confuses the hell out of most regular smart people. Because their brain cannot follow the lightspeed expansion of thoughts in all directions to recalibrate. It challenges their understanding of their own intelligence/self that triggers a stress response that just makes it worse.
The irony is that they will likely conclude we are not as smart as they thought. Which is a problem for those gifted that did not develop the number-skills most people will associate with super-high intelligence. Like instant multiplications of large numbers.
Most gifted minds learned enough math to practically live life and obsess about things. Only a few will choose mathematics as their passion for working memory fun during their forming years. The rest will likely lead a life of being misunderstood and classified as strange.
Bonus one: along the lines of shooting down ideas because we evaluate them while listening…
We don’t like “brainstorms” and “bouncing ideas” with typicals.
They tend not to like fixating on combining the few novel ideas to see where they lead, as they are too busy reinventing the wheel. Which frustrates the gifted as there may be something new and novel at hand, but people are busy exploring the concepts they feel they can contribute to while we already know where they will lead.
I gave up masking. I realized it is a waste of time and energy. When you find people that you can trust, it is kind to you and authentic and enjoy your company, you don’t need to mask, you are free to be yourself. Awful people will still be awful even if you mask so, who cares about what they think about you?
Small talk pretty much hurts my head. If I want a really decent in-depth long ranging conversatio I have to go online and listen to a Sam Harris podcast etc.
From experience, the checklist of life events that many Gifted experience. It's not fun and takes a lot of patience, calm, failure, and acceptance to get over these:
- Endless interest in things, no interest in learning them properly or from others, and poor ability to finish projects because of other interests (something shared with ADHD).
- Brains skipping steps, having issues explaining how they got there, and seeming like they're not paying attention it the meantime.
- Terrible small talk (and related, empathy) skills. It's too boring or they can't imagine other mindsets well (something shared with Autism).
- The social expectation they'll be good at everything, something only more intensely felt from inside their minds, and crippling anxiety because of this.
- Valuing their self worth based on impossible standards (Perfectionism), then hating everything that isn't perfect, or never being happy with their work.
- Expectation of ease and instant perfection that, when shattered, cause emotional shattering. This can create cynicism, despair, anger, and learned helplessness.
- Total inability to do or learn things the normal, slow way resulting in crashing and burning in life (see: rates of suicide or permanent disability).
- Inflated ego, they're better than everyone else. Also staggering loneliness, for the same reasons.
- Existential dread, a need to contribute or understand more, and the inability to really appreciate the present.
This definitely sounds like asperger to me. 🤷♂️
Asperger's is an old term. Today you'd call this person autistic AND gifted. Having two neurodivergencies is actually quite common. Statistically, 50%-70% of autistic people can now be diagnosed with ADHD according to some research, which was a change about 10 years ago in the DSM.
@KSLewisLearning yea, I'm probably on the spectrum. Mildly so and definitely ADHD. I still have a pension, friends, lead a community group of 80 people etc. Gifted in certain respects yes but being on the spectrum is a disability because we live in a world of people who aren't and expect YOU to get with them. Not the other way around. And, having to figure out how others think which is not how you think and notice how others act which is not how you would act is most definitely a handicap. Then, consider what you don't notice because that's one of the biggest things NT notice about people on the spectrum is that they seem oblivious to many things which NT see as obvious. My apologies for not taking the time to make this grammatically correct. But the ideas are very clear I think.
Oh, and I have a clocked 130 IQ. So you don't have to talk down to me.
The thing you said about "speaking your native tongue" is soooooooooooo real. OMG
Hi Kathleen, I'm from Brazil, and I just want to say that you described me in great detail in this video! I've been going through a lot recently, and then I discovered giftedness. Your video helped me realize I'm not alone. Thank you for sharing your story with us! God bless you.✨
You are not alone. I'm also from Brazil.
I'm from Brasil as well, you're definitely not alone. Pq eu tô falando em inglês? Eu só gostaria de conhecer mais pessoas por perto de mim, pra ter um grupo de amigos que me entendessem
what do you mean by gifted? Born in to wealtjy familay?
Absolutely not. I could get onto my soap box on how the gifted are being under-identified in low income school districts due to uninformed teachers, but I'll refrain.
As I stated in the video, I'm using the neuroscience definition of giftedness: a difference in brain wiring which results in quicker thinking, easier memory, bigger emotions, out of the box ideas, etc. If you're interested in more details, check out the list of resources in the description from PhDs in various fields talking about giftedness.
@@KSLewisLearning Thanks for writing down. Is there a way to verify a person is gifted if some one claims they are gfited. I know there are insstutions like mensa etc which provides certificates or equivalent. But is there a a way to verify this. My concern is i dont want to waste my time without confirming if a person is really gifted.
There are 2 ways to officially determine giftedness: an IQ test (which only measures the thinking flexibility of the brain, so many experts say it's an outdated method) or an evaluation by a psychologist that specializes in giftedness.
If you don't need an official "diagnosis" and are just seeking to understand yourself better, you could read the books or website I've listed to see if the gifted experience resonates with you. Most unidentified gifted adults tend to be in denial until they are absolutely convinced by the evidence, and I think this is because we are so hard on ourselves like I referenced in the video.
@@KSLewisLearning My question is not about finding about oneself. Its about verifying others who claim they are gifted. Sorry if i was not clear enough.
This is 100% me! Especially the skip thinking and processing speed. And learning social scripts to keep going, and playing a small portion of my mind to pay attention until it's time for me to express myself.
I tell people that when I get stressed I can't finish my sentences because my brain is onto the next thought before I've finished the sentence. This before I even started learning about being gifted. It's like I was speaking the language but couldn't translate it for myself.
I moved to outside Oxford. Now my friends are Dons and Oxford alumni. My best friend had three degrees and is doing her PHd this year. We just gravitate to each other.
I have all except good memory
I identify with everything said, except no substance abuse but get addicted to challenging puzzle games and constantly have to delete the games. Also I have a good self esteem thanks to my parents and all Glory to God! I struggle with feelings of depression, wishing and praying that Jesus can come for His Church because this life feels so meaningless...
Being gifted is hardly a gift if you don't have the proper support growing up.
Whether it be that everyone knows it and expects too much of you, or that nobody wants to recognize you're smarter than them because it hurts their frail ego. So they ostracize you and treat you like you're stupid, simply for being different and questioning things.
Same. My sister and I are gifted. My sister has trouble making friends because of her demeanor and attitude but also thinks she's frustrated because of her intelligence.
I could not have imagined someone with high intelligence married merrily to a normal intelligent person. How can you enjoy communication?
Great question! I'm going to avoid using the term "intelligence" in the hopes that I can be clearer in my explanation. I have a neurodiverse brain that is faster and more flexible than a typical brain, which does enable me to learn information quickly and understand complex subjects with greater ease than a typical person. However, that does not mean a typical person could never learn the same information through hard work and a longer time frame.
Here is the way this reality plays out in my marriage: I'm married to a mechanical engineer who has achieved his masters degree and knows a lot more math and physics than I ever learned through formal education. We both greatly enjoy discussing theory in any number of subject areas, and this shared desire is all from our personality preferences, not a reflection on IQ. My lack of advanced education in physics and math just means my husband has to take 2-5 minutes to give me a quick summary of a subject that I may not be familiar with, and then we can discuss whatever related concept to both his and my satisfaction. If it's a subject or idea that I'm explaining to him, I may have to take 15-30 minutes to completely build out the concepts for him to achieve the same level of understanding, but he does get there and then we can discuss the idea more. Both my husband and I find our conversations very fun and stimulating, but I believe that's because my husband is a "typically-brained" intellectual. Most "typically-brained" people don't want to put in the effort needed to learn something new so they can socialize with a gifted person's current interest, so that is one of the key barriers to being "merrily" married.
Another key issue is our commitment to each other. We both want to put in the work to make this marriage a success. We both respect each other's differing abilities and value those differences. I greatly value the steadiness that comes from my husband: his steady emotions through a conversation that I'm starting to get upset about because he isn't getting it yet, his steady determination to resolve conversations/conflicts until I feel heard and understood, and his steady determination to stand by me through all my gifted chaos that I talk about in this video.
There are very few neurotypical people out there willing to put in the work to amicably socialize with gifted, autistic, and/or ADHD people, so it is amazing when you do find these "normal" people.
@@KSLewisLearning Thank you for your wonderful answer!
First of all I am truly glad that you have found such a great husband and that you both live marriage the way it should be lived imho! I can truly relate, bc I have the same kind of marriage.
Have you ever considered that it could be personality preferences and a reflection on IQ?
I understand you don't like the term intelligence, and I don't like what it triggers in people, but I'll úse it anyways because it seems to be the correct term to me.
So I guess that your husband is at least not very much less intelligent than you are (considering his wish for and ability to learn from you). The difference in grasping speed could be explained by the complexity of the topic. Physics is very simple compared to e.g. social dynamics. You can explain the basics of quantum entanglement much faster and less complex than the basics of the behaviour of a 14 year-old girl.
Try to explain what you explain to your husband within needed 30 minutes to an IQ 90 someone who wants to listen to and understand you within the same time. I predict you'll fail.
Nevertheless I fully concur that finding someone you can harmonize with intellectually is true bliss and uncommon.
Especially intelligent women tend to marry unbelievably bad imho.
What should people like you do to improve the chances to meet someone like your husband? (This is a topic I'm very interested in, bc I think that the right spouse is both the biggest task and the biggest source of happiness if managed to find).
Check, check, check, check all of them. Thank you for sharing.
Very well described.
I was recently tested at the 99th percentile at Mensa Singapore, and have an estimated IQ of 150+. I agree with many things you've said, just that a few points I think you were being vague or couldn't pinpoint. The instinct, gut feeling is really more of our superior logic, we've assessed the situation/methods that someone else says and we know it doesn't make much sense and that it wouldn't work, or we have already worked out a better plan with fewer, more efficient steps. Being intelligent can be so lonely, not having anyone to relate to and having to navigate around people's feelings. Having to constantly filter your words and avoid stating your opinion because it would upset people as your opinion is very different from the popular one, it requires critical thinking and logic that the average person is simply incapable of.
Intelligence is basically one's degree of logic. When one possess superior logic, one has superior intelligence. Having superior logic grants better critical thinking skills, reasoning ability, fluid reasoning which allows one to evaluate better, weigh the pros and cons, compare the options and make the optimal choices. Logic is the building block of intelligence. Logic is intelligence itself.
I appreciate your clarification help! I believe our thinking patterns go a little beyond logic though based on some of the things I've been reading about the neurology of a gifted brain. Yes, we have a greater capacity for logic, but there is an extremely large creative component that pure logic doesn't account for in my opinion.
Sometimes it's so hard to describe our experiences to someone who doesn't have the same viewpoint. It's like one of those rare people that can see ultraviolet light explaining what they see to the rest of us!
Isn’t it weird to talk about your iq on the internet? I am married to someone with likely that iq and he couldn’t care less about having that iq, never mentions it.
@@di3486 It's likely that you assume I'm boastful or lying about my IQ. I've stated it as a reference point despite what you might think. Higher IQ correlates with degree of logic, allowing one to see things clearer and with better understanding. That's the point that I'm driving at.
@@kaidestinyz No, I am not assuming anything. I just said blasting the number is unnecessary, but you do you honey.
@@di3486 Given the context, it isn't. And I hope that my previous explanation made that clear.
This video hit home so fucking hard. The thoughts about death when I was around 5 were so troubling. Thank you for this :)
Same here i remember dealing with this as well
Very useful 🔥
I mean be better than than, or
7:40 But it’s not gonna work. Why waste time? Can we try something that might work? No. Of course not. Because the stupid idea is the other’s baby and it took him/ her 9 months to produce it; they’re not just gonna discard it. Let’s wait 18 years to see.
I’m gifted at English
I don't know if I'm gifted, but I relate a lot to most of the things you share, specially the existential part, the intensity of the emotions...
Thank you so much for sharing :)
How do you handle depression? Where do you find therapists who gets you?
Great question! From what I've learned from other people and parents, you have 2 options. 1) Use a therapist that specialize in giftedness. Unfortunately, it looks like SENG removed their list of specialists from their website, so an already rare specialist is harder to find. You might find success with a Google search in for your closest large city, but I personally haven't found one in my city of several million doesn't have one. 2) Find a regular therapist that you feel comfortable with and who is willing to learn about giftedness and its impact on your experience. I have heard great things about this option, but it would be a learning curve for both of you.
I hope you find the support you need!
Ugh, so 222 is "the number" that won't leave me alone since waaay back, and your comments are at 222. I remember when I was in High School there was the Gifted and Talented classes, and in X-Men the parallels were kind of creepy. My hazel eyes (rare). It's funny I tried to underachieve intentionally my Sophomore year because something in me said "don't be identified." So if you mean gifted and tormented, yeah. My life actually collided with John Nash (Game Theory/A Beautiful Mind) because in the 90s I worked at a commodities company in Princeton and my brother-in-law at the time worked at the University, so he was involved with Nash and I would see him walking home from time to time when I visited the campus (also had to navigate around the sudden filming on location for the movie). When I saw the movie, I became mindful (idk sadly a pun) that sometimes internalizing and suppressing our gifts are important for our ability to just live a normal life, knowing when to switch it on and off, but yeah it gets lonely quick. It was heartbreaking when I watch a video of Nash who endured shock treatment due to having paranoid episodes, who finally admitted why he was cured (it was unprecedented), he replied simply, "I just stopped." I ended up making six figures in tech in global markets on Wall Street with no formal background or finalized degree because I just "knew how to code." There is definitely a fine line between gifted and insane, but when I have dreams now and see patterns and know what's coming somehow (or wake up just knowing weird things like what a birthday cake truly represents and what the candles are about), I keep them to myself or just dump them in the comment section of a skeptic because, meh, they literally are begging for it - then I feel better.
I was diagnosed ADHD inattentive a few months ago, after my son was diagnosed ADHD and gifted. I was diagnosed gifted yesterday. I struggle to find resources for adults.
Yes, finding resources for the newly diagnosed gifted adult is hard, but I'm also learning that practical resources are also scarce for gifted kids as well because most literature focuses on academic needs rather than social/emotional/psychological. Intergifted is really the best organization I've found so far for us adults, so be sure to check them out!
Everyone thought I had adhd, did the very lengthy tests, turns out Im on the 1% of IQ curve, dont have adhd and the neuropsychologist applying the test arrived at the conclusion that im gifted. They way I like to describe what you said about the gut feeling is by an analogy of texture and taste of food. While the person is talking, their arguments have a "texture", just like an apple, so I feel the texture of the apple in my mouth at the beginning of their argument, while they are talking I analyse, by the taste, to see if it is indeed an apple or something very similar, by the end of their point I know it is an apple and can deliver my point of view if the apple is a good or bad pathway.
That's an interesting illustration!! From what I've read, gifted people tend to be excellent at creating illustrations about a concept to help others understand it... and we tend to create a lot of illustrations.
Also, have you heard of synesthesia? Your illustration just made me think you might be one of those amazing people who experience it! 🙂
For me it's like this knowing pressure and then i'm dying to get it out and say something. While i'm learning though I thought i was a weirdo for this but when my brain is going off my nose starts to go too i'm like sniffing as if i'm smelling something my nostrils are flaring and my eyes are wide like i'm come upon something super important.
It's as if i've narrowed in on something exquisitely tasty but it's a reaction to me being super in the zone and my brain is firing so fast and smoothly all the synapses firing my spidey senses tingling i'm absolutely sharply focused and i feel alive🙂It was doing it the whole time i typed that too lol my nose was going because the intellectual stimulus is exciting to talk about. There's no smell to things i just start smelling i think it's to do with how i really feel and sense things so my senses are tingling.
I feel like a mouse or a beaver with their nose and whiskers rapidly flaring and twitching when their instincts and intuition starts going off lol first funny images that come to my head.
I don’t have depression. It’s past that point because I really don’t see the point of continuing to subject myself to abuse from the stupid. It is painful and downright insulting. Being with gifted people won’t solve the problem because I have met very intelligent people who are complete arseholes.
I am an alien and I am SO going home. Or whatever, anywhere but here. I am done. 100%.
I never really classified myself as gifted until watching this video. Looking back it makes sense. I find conversing with AI does help sometimes as AI can keep up with the analogies that I use.
I can relate to this. People tell me I’m like beavis all the time.
I’m not diagnosed but I decided to look into it… a relate to all what you said here, and didn’t ever consider any possibility of being different… I’m 42…😢
Thank you for sharing this. Super validating.
I’ve never taken an IQ test, but I can relate to many of the challenges associated with being gifted. However, one thing I struggle with is learning quickly. I tend to overcomplicate topics, which causes me to lose sight of the simplicity, especially in subjects like math. In primary school, teachers would explain things in a straightforward way, but I found their methods too shallow, which made me feel like I didn’t really understand, leading to poor results.
At university, I learned to simplify my thinking, which helped, but I still need time to fully grasp topics. I often require more background information to connect the dots and feel confident in my understanding, which results in longer learning curves. While this process allows me to know more details than my peers, the fast pace of school doesn’t always give me the time I need to delve deeper into subjects. So, it makes me wonder whether my learning style and approach still fit the profile of giftedness, despite these challenges..
You're describing a classic gifted struggle, from what I've read in all the literature from professionals. The profoundly gifted psychologist at InterGifted explains that the higher IQ a person has the harder simple tasks become because that person tends to want to complicate things. Simple questions become rabbit holes of thought while the mind considers all possibilities before finally coming to a conclusion that is both in depth and frequently can appear very simple.
Personally, while most issues and questions are fairly simple for me to work through because I recognize the need to have quick solutions, every once in a while I fall into that trap of overthinking things myself... like playing a board game with a group of friends and getting stuck on guessing "the average salary of people in New York City." There are just too many nuances to that question for me to consider. 🙂
I was placed in remedial classes in school because I was unruly or distracted by daydreams.
I just learned from a file folder of seemingly lab rat level testing throughout my entire childhood that I’m somewhere between “highly” to “profoundly” gifted. Help. What do I do? What resources do I tap into?
Phew! I can empathize with what you're feeling right now, because that's similar to how I discovered my giftedness a couple years ago. I highly suggest you start with the website InterGifted which has very useful blogs regarding newly discovering giftedness as an adult. There's also a podcast they publish which I've found helpful as well, if only because it's two profoundly gifted people talking through issues they had to work through themselves.
Next, I'd suggest getting your hands on the book Living with Intensity, which is widely recommended as a foundational book for understanding the gifted life.
I'm still discovering and working through my giftedness, but I hope my channel can at least give you encouragement that you're not alone!
Hi there! I've been MIA for a while due to some significant life things, but I just saw that it seems I never responded to you so I wanted to make sure I do that now! I've got that list of resources in the description that could be helpful, and I just added a ton of books that I haven't gotten around to reading yet that could be useful for you. I think the most helpful "instant" resource is the Intergifted website I've linked too. The leader of that organization is a profoundly gifted psychologist who has some incredible insight into the giftedness discovery journey.
Ultimately, each of us on this journey needs to do a whole lot of learning and reflection initially as we re-process our lives through a new framework of understanding. If you still feel the need to speak to someone to get extra guidance, then you can seek out a psychologist or "coach" that specialize in working with the gifted, and they can help talk you through things. Best wishes on your journey!
100% my experience in life. Thank you for sharing.
Wow. This describes a lot of what I’m going through now 🙈
I have trouble with the difference of being gifted and being on the spectrum. I was diagnosed with being on the spectrum with a splinter skill. I feel like everything you mention is what I described in my assessment to being on the spectrum. I really feel like the spectrum is not divided enough yet to differentiate both.
I agree. I believe most psychologists are uninformed about giftedness, so there are a ton of misdiagnoses or non-identification of gifted individuals. I have heard multiple people express a desire to see more research on the overlaps between autism, giftedness, and ADHD because we notice many similarities between these groups of neurodivergent people especially since "twice exceptionalities" are common.
I'm always the leader of my friend group unless my other friends are more gifted than I.
I’m Autistic with an IQ between 125-130. It’s rare find people I can connect with and relate to. I feel all of these. I never believe all the praise and/or compliments I get. I always feel like no, I’m not that good, I could be better and because I’m not better, I’m not good lol When I talk to people they always tell me how intelligent I am, that I’m wise well beyond my years, praise my musical talent, my vivid memory, even things going back to childhood describing events and places with exact details. Due to the ASD, I’m always learning and educating myself. My wife is always saying I’m so smart and I make her feel stupid because she can’t comprehend how I cram so much knowledge in my head in such a short amount of time. Im not bragging either. It feels like a curse half the time. Im so misunderstood, it’s hard to make friends. People tend to think I’m just a know it all because I typically always have a solution or correct answer for things they find difficult to grasp. Being both Autistic and having high intellectual capabilities while basically being socially r*tarded sucks and is lonely af. Especially with the downfalls of the Autism that limit me in certain ways. It’s really a hellish existence for me. And i have ADHD and BPB as comorbidities with the ASD…shit sucks with my mental health. It’s a lot to deal with. I feel like a loser in some aspects because it holds me back. No one in my little rural southern area gets me. And not in a mean way, but they’re all relatively low IQ. Barely literate, always drinking, cant pronounce a lot of words right, struggle with basic math, cant comprehend abstract ideas or anything. I get looked at like I’m from another planet, or like I’m insulting them somehow.
I think this comment wiould make a lot of people feel like they are not the only one who experience this. Your situation sounds really difficult, especially the area you live in. I have a feeling you would feel positively different in another environment. It takes a lot of daily energy to adapt in this situation. It makes me thankful that I live in an area /country where I can morre easily find my people - my tribe. Reading your story, would be good a movie script.
Can you define gifted? iq level?
"your small photography business that you do enjoy does not really contribute anything to the big picture" - wait, you made this video for ME??
GREAT COMMENT
I am mildly gifted and my old community college friends were moderately gifted and my old highschool buddy from cross country was profoundly gifted. My community college and college friends I don't know. But they may be mildly gifted to moderately gifted. My parents are gifted in one area each so maybe they are savants? I don't know.
I was confused for a Neurodiviergent student because of my intelligence.
if you are "gifted", then you are neurodivergent. It´s an umbrella concept (ASD, ADHD, dislexya, etc) There are often overlapping diagnoses, you can be asd and gifted at the same time, AsD and ADHD, etc
@@pedrova8058 I started to disagree that the gifted are really neurodivergent, but when I thought about it, I realized it is a plausible (although not "slam dunk") interpretation of this right tail phenomenon. BTW, I like how you spelled dyslexia, because I assume it was done for humorous effect (but maybe not???).
Th is me. It’s hard to find friends who share my interests, who I don’t have to backtrack and explain to. And I Hate banal conversations.
Great video, I have a few of what you listed. 👽✨
I'm Autistic and creatively gifted. Not sure of my IQ but it seems like its higher than adverage. Chat GPT thinks so lollol. People get triggered by my intellect and their own projections. Women hate me because I'm conventionally attractive, which also makes it hard to make friends as they are jealous and my life is extremely hard bc if trauma and hEDS, but no one cares bc they are too busy competing. Fellow Autists are the bomb
Hard relate to most of it, especially the existential crises and feelings of meaninglessness.
I feel like it is currently a lot more trendy to just call giftedness "autism", which makes everyone think it is great to be diagnosed with it, and is harmful to the people who actually are autistic.
I don't know if I'm gifted, but I have been accused of it by a few people. I have always doubted my own intellect. I have a tendency to feel inferior to others, particularly in my field, and it drives me insane. My field: I am infatuated with theoretical physics. My appreciation for the subject may seem superficial, because I am seduced by the mathematical beauty and elegance, even more so than the truth itself. I find data analysis and experimental science to be boring and dull. I can't stand it. I find the depth that comes with theoretical and foundational analysis much more stimulating, often, again, because it is accompanied by a pseudo-aesthetic appeal.
And idk what it is about small talk, but it feels very mechanical. I have a list of algorithms on how it should proceed in every conversation, and it's painfully banal to employ it every time. There is also a level of unpredictability in conversations. I don't know if it's due to ADHD, but the fact that I cannot always predict certain things (not what the other person is going to say, but how they may react) drives me insane.
Some of my role models are/were gifted people. Isaac Newton, Mozart, Richard Feynman, Elon Musk, etc.
"Accuse" is an interesting word choice! I get your implication though. Yes, it is crazy that though we may excel in our chosen professions, we the gifted can be so negative about our own capabilities.
Many people I've interacted with are convinced that there is a strong unproven connection between giftedness, autism, and ADHD, so it's possible you could fall into a combination of the 3 somewhere. I encourage you to find true answers using the resources I list in the description because I personally felt such relief to finally have a framework of my brain and psychology that makes sense!
@@KSLewisLearning There is a link between giftedness and autism because there are dozens of genes (at least) which contribute to both higher IQ & larger brain size, and also increase risk for autism. However, there does not seem to be any link with ADHD except to the extent that individuals high in both IQ and Openness - to - experience (or one or more of its facets) may sometimes be misdiagnosed as ADHD. Individuals high in both IQ and Openness are also sometimes diagnosed with 'overexcitabilities," a bogus diagnosis since they are really just high on a personality factor which interacts with high intelligence.
I’ve never felt so seen as I have in the first 4 minutes 🥹
That’s why I said…not doing photography for money ever again. 😂
Does Q-tip addiction count?
Wow. I can really relate. I am curious about what to do about it so I’ll check out the resources you mentioned in the description next.
Yup. Pretty much. That’s me. I’d LOVE LOVE to find other gifted people to interact with! Hard to find here in the UK😢
Try Mensa
I am in the 'High Average' range of intelligence, so far from being gifted.
Nice channel! I can relate to everything you say.
This all sounds like the experience of a neurodivergent person, tbh. I know many gifted people who don’t seem to have these issues. I am gifted also, and I have most of these problems, but it’s mostly because of my ADHD and chronic depression/ anxiety.
You're correct; this is a very common list of problems for the neurodivergent, and gifted people are neurodivergent.
In my research on autism, ADHD, and giftedness, I found many common experiences, but the cause/source of the difficulties appears to be different. For example, perfectionism for an autistic person is usually about controlling their environment to help create a sense of safety, and I've heard many ADHD people are perfectionistic out of a desire to be accepted by others or to try to compensate for what they perceive as personal weaknesses. Of course, anxiety could also play a role too for the ADHD person's perfectionism. From the research I've read as well as personal experience, a gifted person usually is perfectionistic in trying to accomplish a vision on a project as pictured in their mind, which makes this brand of perfectionism the result of an internal, impossible standard, not an emotional safety net or the need to please someone else. As with ADHD, I believe there are gifted people with severe anxiety who's perfectionism shows up as OCD as well.
The other thing I didn't make clear in the video about the gifted person is that we're great at hiding most of these issues from others. My closest friends and family members had no idea I was depressed for years, and co-workers never knew I had social issues because I am so great at internalizing things and just getting through with life. There is a profoundly gifted psychologist, Jenn, who tried to find help with her depression and existential issues years ago, but the colleague she sought help from told her that she was a perfectly well-adjusted individual and didn't need help. Jenn had to take a sabbatical from her practice to figure things out, and now she's one of the few psychologists in the world who specialize in helping in the gifted through their emotional needs. You can check her out on her website Intergifted!
Only recently discovered I’m a double E.
I am 30 y. o. and takes me a long time to understand that "What do you say?" means almost everytime "Explain me it more slowly and with easier words". Haha. For real a little tired of being the leader figure for the people in almost every group interaction and try to assume that a lot of people (even people with decades older than me) have a childish mentality and basic point of view of the reality. But there is always the option of read Kant or Einstein books, and chill hearing Chopin. =)
The challenge of being ‘gifted’ is to think you’re ‘gifted’. Just like most no 1 draft picks almost always do very poorly. I have met a lot of really smart people. And I know a lot of former child prodigy’s. Very very verrrry few ever succeed in life because they cling on to the notion they’re ’gifted’. Well, 99.999% are really good at something at a young age. But once they reach early adulthood. That advantage pretty much disappears. And hard work takes over and ‘talent’ takes a back seat. Just look at child actors. Same thing.
You’re completely disregarding the fact that gifted minds work differently than neurotypical minds, and don’t assimilate easily into society. There’s research that shows that the highest earners are often not the most intelligent. That’s because society values being adaptable and useful in exchange for money. Those are often not gifted people’s strength.
Exactly