I find one of the most hilarious recent lore on catachans is in the tau novel Commander Shadow, where kroot have been eating the catachans corpses "Recently however, I have received a number of disturbing reports. The kroot increasingly refuse to obey the orders of their tau superiors and have taken to wearing red scares around their foreheads. They speak in the gue’la language when they think no one is listening." catachan's genes are so strong they are overwriting the rest of the kroot genome xD
The Kroot are becoming significantly more powerful, shame the "greater good" has no space for any dissent, shame how they all died for no reason at all, unfortunately all eating of Catachan gue'la is banned because they are scientifically proven to be fatal to kroot
If it bleeds, we can kill it. If it does not bleed, we can make it bleed and kill it as well. If it doesn't have blood, we'll make it regret this fact, because then it only dies slower.
I like the idea of an Imperial Commander wondering why the Catachan keep requesting detonation packs during a relatively quiet period in a war. He looks into it only to find out that it's relitivly quiet because the Catachan have used their previous detonation packs so well. He authorities their request, stays out of their way, gives them whatever they want, and lets them do their own thing. He wins the war, gets a promotion, and makes sure to always have lots of Catachan guardsmen in his army from that point on.
I’m sad to not hear how Catachan actually fought off a Tyranid Hive fleet. Let me be clear, the planet itself did the fighting. And after a while the small Tyranid Hive fleet LEFT the system to find an easier meal. Even the TYRANIDS could not beat the planet.
@@kishinasura1989 Catachan sucks so fucking much that the planet itself literally fought off a Chaos and Tyranid invasion practically by itself, without the actual Guardsmen fighting. Honestly if someone dropped the life eater virus bomb in it something would eat the damn thing.
Col Straken: If your sending that many men after Sly Marbo you'll need just one thing. Local Corrupt Arbites: What? Straken: A good supply of Bodybags.
Bitch this is Sly marbo! There ain't enough body bags in the bloody imperium for the Carnage he leaves behind. Just fire a couple of cyclonic torpedoes from orbit and pile the corpses in the crater and be done with it.
There also exists a creature that in the early drawings of Catachan wildlife looked like a barnacle from Half-life, but with a maw lined with razor sharp rasping teeth where the tongue should be. This lovely little thing is called a Catachan Face-eater, presumably it drops on you and eats your face. So Catachan even has drop bears.
@@CaptainKiLL83 I think so, they fleshed it out a lot in the novels after that, I may be misremembering it in the old third edition rulebook but I seem to recall they had made it look more sack like, like a tick without legs and a giant maw where its head should be. And then when they are written about they almost sound batlike with how they attack in swarms and then communally lay their eggs in your corpse.
If I still remember during the Indonomous Crusade Catachan was attacked by Chaos cultists. The invaders were slaughtered from a combination of the Jungle Fighters and the wildlife. When Bobby G got there, he was expecting a fight. What he got was reinforcements. Since going to Crusade is still safer than staying at home.
One of the highlights of that story for me was that Catachan had only few Jungle Fighters at first and most of the forces that held back and dealt with the Chaos Invasion were civilians.
I imagine an Asura's Wrath style avatar of the Catachan planet just having a bemused chuckle as an invasion force of literal demons, heretical demigods and possessed abominations smashes into the surface only to immediately die because their drop pod landed on a freaking TOAD.
That's not far from the truth actually. There was a demonic invasion there. The jungle fighters ambushed them over and over. Then they retreated into the jungle. The jungle literally ATE the demons. All of them. The planet itself basically took out a Chaos incursion.
I think I remember in some of the more recent lore, the World Eaters actually invaded Catachan following the opening of the Great Rift... and the Jungle Fighters barely noticed. The WE's casualties against the jungle alone forced them to retreat.
Sly Marbo is basically what happens if you take Rambo and then tack on every single Chuck Norris meme, slightly modified to fit. If you drop this guy in the path of a hive fleet he will not only survive but he will singlehandedly kill every single Norn queen in his path. How will he do that without a spaceship? Sly Marbo has his ways...
The Space Crusade Expansion shows us exactly how it'd go, get into the belly on one of these badbois, kills the local genestealers and Tyranid Warriors, and blow it up while burning it from inside. Repeat the process whenever one of the big boys gets its tendrils in place to slurp the planet's juice, only to burn from inside.
Every time I hear about Catachans, I'm reminded of a story I heard about a new Commissar in one of their regiments: "Welcome sir to the Catachan 419th "one short" regiment! Glad to have you here. See sir we have this tradition in the regiment for all the new commissars, just two small things to get the integration going eh, something good for morale. We have a wee lil' Catachan Devil tied up in that tent over there, to show you have what it takes you have to get in the cage and pull one of its teeth. Got lotsa teeth, easy job. After you did that you have one task left, to show you'r really one of the men: you gotta satisfy one of the lasses. Gotta few volunteers on a dry spell so you just ask around and yeknow really make some good lovin'. If she likes you after that, welcome to regiment sir!" So the young commissar, bewildered, confused and utterly green behind the ears wanders to the tent with the Devil cage. He closes the flap behind him and climbs into the cage. The men outside soon hear a great racket, a banging, tearing sound interspersed with terrible screaming. They grin to each other, knowing full well the paperwork will be minimal. Then after the banging falls silent and to everyone's surprise the Commissar appears, shirt gone, sleeves torn off his greatcoat. *"Right, who was the girl with the teeth problem?"* This is the story of how Commissar Jason "the devil's man" Statholme joined the 419th.
@@joshuawallen8112 more like: "Brethren, after all these years in the dark void we finally arrived on a habitable world. Look at this lush paradise! Breath the fresh air! And look, lots of water that is not your own urine recycled again and again! Let's strip apart the darn ship and make ourselves at home." One week later. "Sigh."
I'd rather prefer to think, that he is a combination of "legacy title" (there is always Sly Marbo), access to the rejuvenation treatment, good use of state propaganda and tall tales... and possibility that he is just one guy, snd yes, he is THAT good. Thought he is a Perpetusl never occured to me, though... might explain, how he always survives!
I'm having fun imagining that attempts were made to transport Catachan wildlife to Cadia... and there are now several space hulks floating through the Warp that are too deadly for demons to exist on... because they are full of the survivors of an all dinosaur battle-royale.
"Lt. identify that ghost ship drifting trough the void in front of us." "The archive says it's a transporter... travelling from Catachan to New Francia...it's freight list says...they stored some kind of delicious lifestock in stasis for a cookout festival..approach?" "Yes. We will secure this freight. Tell the crew they don't need their MRE. Tonight we will have a feast of mystery meat."
*Furious clicking and interpretive dance* Translation: fuck this shit I'm out! I don't really know what happened I don't really care I just want to get the fuck up outta here, fuck this shit I'm out!"
GW needs to do something at least once with marbo. Maybe a chapter in a book where a force of loyalists are saved and discover the wrecked remains of mighy traitor forces and a small scratch on the wall saying M.A.R.B.O. Even more epic if it was in a space marine book.
Marbo was last seen on Necromunda in Escher territory bringing a bouquet of flowers to Mad Donna. That said it was Catachan flowers so we're not sure if there were any survivors.
Wow regular arch releases…. You said you were going to reluctantly make videos but on a regular schedule is wonderful. I could get really used to this. Thank you again for biting the bullet and doing this for us. It wouldn’t be the same without your videos.
Except its usually the Lictor muttering that as it gets flamed from 2 sides (this is actually in the older lore, 3rd or 4th Ed Nid Codex I think had a lore blurb about a Catachan regiment who fought the Nids by covering themselves in the igor of slain Tyranids to mask their sent then when went Lictor hunting, they wiped out the Tyranids but the had to spend 3 years on a decontamination ship being hosed down)
What's next, Fenris? 2:40 - Perhaps they did some rock-connaissance (!) 8:50 - Ah yes, the 40K version of John Rambo. 14:00 - Along with the Sisters of Battle and the Salamanders. 18:00 - Didn't stop the Death Korps of Krieg. 26:50 - They're so tough that they didn't need the help of Big Papa Ultrasmurf to fight off the Daemons.
Catachan Devils being local insects that are the size of armored vehicles, with chitin strong enough to be armor plate and scything pincers that can cut steel.
I started collecting 3rd Edition when Catachan was the first plastic Imperial Guard. The mini Catachan codex was cool (for the time), it had some jungle Carnivorous terrain rules and scenarios
there is an actual quote of one of the catachan field commanders (forgot who though) "stop whining, greg, you got another damn arm left, now do you? get out there and kill whoever took your first one!"
"Oops sorry sir" should be a optional rule. Because it's fucking hilarious. Basically says "Death World Troops don't strangers ordering them around and killing their friends, roll die and and 1s a commisar is met with an "unfortunate accident" and is no longer playable".
I've heard that when numbering regiments, it's not always sequential, to disguise actual army numbers from your opponents, even when referring to which grouping they're from.
Krieg Guardsmen: Okay i've fought Orks, Eldar dire avengers, tyranid swarms, and Chaos scum in the trenches of Vraks all in the hopes of getting sacrificed in the name of emperor but that planet *Points to Catachan from the spaceship void window* That planet scares me.
Australia is not that bad. The main problem for somebody from the northern hemisphere is not really the wildlife being deadly but just the wildlife being so utterly unfamiliar. If you are familiar with deer in europe and then you see a gazelle in africa you can pretty much guess that the gazelle is more or less the african version of a deer and thus pretty much harmless. If you are familiar with black bears in north america and then you see a polar bear in siberia you can pretty much guess that the polar bear is the siberian black bear and thus very dangerous. But then you get to australia and you see a platypus... There's nothing you can really compare it with in the rest of the world so you pick it up just to get hit with a poison spurn. Then you see a cassowary and you think, hey, that's pretty much an ostrich right? So you get close to it and instead of running away it jumps at you and gores you with it's claws. The you see a kangoroo and you think, hey, that's pretty much a rabbit. So you try to catch it and the kangoroo knocks your lights out. And this goes on and on for australia.
@@tranquilthoughts7233 I stick with it - take a random picture at a random location in Australia and it will show at least ten things that can kill you. Anyway, no offense, I appreciate the explanation! But from the perspective of someone living in Germany, were we only have a couple of animals that are poisonous, bees; wasps and hornets included, and none of it can actually kill you, provided you are not allergic, Australia and its wildlife do still look quite dangerous. Oh, and is it actually true that kangoroos can't walk backward? Apart from that, I'd stay away from anything that looks like an ostrich. Ostrichs are mean and can be pretty f*ing dangerous.
"Enough of this ! clear the trees, bring the flamers !!! -HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH ! -WHAT IS GOING ON !?! What is this NONSENSE ?!? -... Sir ? ... the Jungle is... Laughting..."
A good flamethrower - or plasmathrower - would be great. The humidity being high means easier to control spread of fires and lower likelyhood of it growing out of control. As for the plants, they'd probably burn fine, but their seeds might be flameproof, a common adaptation on Earth. Also acidproof, and maybe explode when disturbed to scatter seeds because the pod/fruit's juices are now superheated by the fire.
and the seedlings would probably have barbs or sharp pointy implements to embed themselves into convenient nutrition source, a.k.a. shrapnel that would grow out of your corpse.
Unfortunately the catachans have been ruined for me. In the Catachan Devil novel it is confirmed that when charging, the catachans Naruto run. That is not a joke. That really happens.
Given where they live, charging trough the foliage you dont really have time to brush away plants, so if your face can take the beating you get most amount of view and reaction time going head first and hands back give you good physical flow while keeping foliage on the sides, not to end up into your feet depending on the plants in question... and how carnivorous those are in that area. So yeah i see the benefit given the environment and group in question, no joke. That is when you need to flow fast and rush/charge, instead of hiding and moving stealthy. If their rifles are sling at their back its rather quick to reach for it and just sling it trough arm pit into low ready, take step back and shoot trough foliage to your target. I can see the benefits of this.
@@Hellsong89 That is absurd, it would in NO WAY work, you go to a dense forest or jungle and run with your arms behind you.. you will at best break your nose, or if unlucky lose an eye or worse.
Arch, you joke about Virus bombing but in 5th edition codex a warbad from the Iron Warriors did virus bomb Catachan, and the invading Chaos Lord was killed upon planetfall from being strangled by Col. Iron Hand Straken with a poisonous root. So many unanswered questions there but... details.
Or taken control of the Blackstone Fortress. As quite a bit of the vegetation on Catachan seems to like taking control of anything that wanders near it and using them as a host to reproduce.
I like the idea of a Dawn of war style game where a Catachan regiment is available, but you don't control them directly. You just tell them "I want X done/killed" and leave it to them to try to accomplish that task.
Would you consider doing a video on the Night Lords? I really want to see your perspective on the whole "legion was made up of the worst dregs scraped from the proto-Imperium's prisons" lore being kept even after Space Marines were retconned to require pre-adolescent boys as the raw materials, because seriously, if anything is up there with the World Eaters in proving the Emperor was either terminally arrogant or far less brilliant than the Imperium believes, it was him signing off on a plan to take pre-adolescent cannibals, serial killers, spree murderers and rapists and then turn them into super soldiers.
Did the emperor sign off on letting the dregs join the night lords? I know what what the emperor intended for them, but wasn't it was the locals who sent the dregs , as a fuck you to curze?
Catachan. The only place where base-line humans MIGHT be able to start keeping up with Astartes. Why haven't they created a chapter from this place again?
When a Catachan sees a Tyranid, they get homesick, Catachan has no PDF nor it needs one, Sly Marbo is not the planetary governor, When a Catachan women see the commissar is single they ask the SOB to pray for him, Catachan men have been now to cause instant cases of pregnancy in Eldar & Tau women, The Emperor once tried to use Catachan soldiers in creating Custodes, the result was a Thunder Warrior that had stealth skills on par with the first generation of the Raven Gaurd,
"Planetary Defense Force? It's right there." The Catachan pointing to an ork being eaten by plants and a Chaos Space Marine getting sliced and diced by a huge monster.
I absolutely love the image of world eaters and demons landing on Catachan and immediately getting ripped to pieces by the wildlife. All while the local Catachans say "Did you hear something?".
Transporting the wildlife of Catachan to Cadia you say? That's if they could get the local wildlife off the planet to begin with and transporting it to another planet without the ship turning into a catachan space hulk. Like to see the terminator squads deal with that problem.
I think that'd go about as well as the introduction of cane toads did in Australia, except that they'd be eating the locals on top of breeding like crazy...
Great video and I love the Tanith First and Only, Elysian drop troops, Harkoni Warhawks, Tallarn Desert Raiders far more then the Catachan but they are a great Regiment none the less.
Yesterday I was just picturing a Catachan dude showering, with a knife still strapped to his thigh. He finishes, steps out…and stabs his towel with said knife to make sure it wasn’t one of those sneaky predators.
I read somewhere that a species needs at a minimum of 100 'breeding' pairs. This avoids any short term inbreeding issues.. but in the long term you might have genetic problems if anyone from the original 200 had something going on genetically. I believe (I'm too lazy to look it up), something called the 'Founder's Affect'.
Yes the Founder's Affect is a type of genetic drift that most people don't really appreciate. Early arrivals in a habitable zone can have vast numbers of descendants. One example is there is a rare type of eye cancer that only really hits the population of St Helena because one of the early settlers had a recessive gene for it, but a combination of the number of all their decedents and them being located together allows it to manifest. It also means a population like that might have very little genetic diversity, even if it expands into the millions.
@@RolfHartmann There are several populations that suffer from this effect. Look at thalassaemia, for instance, which even has it name because in Europe, its appearance is limited to the population of the mediterranean sea ('thalasso' = greek for 'sea'). Of course it can also be found in Africa and South-East Asia, but in the end, its appearance is limited to certain populations. Although in this particular example, it is actually an evolutionary benefit, because although having detrimental effects, it also protects from malaria. And amongst european jews, and for the love of the God Emperor, this is not meant as a statement of any kind, certain types of cancer and other genetic diseases are way more frequent than in the rest of the european population, simply because they lived or had to live as a relatively close society and genetic exchange rarely happened.
Just 1 minutes ago, I was thinking of listening to the adeptus ridiculous podcast of catachan jungle fighters again while I’m working out right now. Then this happened, haha! Brilliant timing!!!!
My first army in 40K, the "oops sorry sir" rule was a source of many jokes between my brother and I. Those ugly SOBs will always hold a special place in my heart.
In one of the imperial armour if you worked out the math for an Infantry regiment for the example it's about 3.5 thousand per regiment. Granted this obviously changes
I always thought that they used regiment as in the UK (and the commonwealth to a degree) we use the regimental system. The number of soldiers in each regiment varies all the time due to requirements. And since regiments act like independent entities (soldiers are loyal to their regiment first and foremost) that usually operate on their own (unless they are doing something more specialist where for example they get an Airbourne regiment working in tandem with an armoured regiment). And since they have their own customs, traditions, and quirks, that it was a suitable model for the Imperial Guard.
i really like on how you narrate the story ,. its like an enthusiatic archivist of the imperium on how you present it ., and for that im going to subscribe to your channel . Hope you can do this same kind of enthusiasm like this on any warhammer 40k story 😁👍
Hey Arch, I don't know if u noticed, but every once in a while, the background in the video would flicker for just a second, then it'd be fine. It happened about 5 or 6 times iirc. Just thought I'd let you know. Also, I'd LOVE to see u do a video on sly marbo. Keep up the good work and don't let the haters get u down bud!
I had that third edition codex suppliment for Catachan. My second IG army was the (then) new plastic Catachans. Man, I miss third edition. 55 man platoons as a single infantry unit slot.
I find one of the most hilarious recent lore on catachans is in the tau novel Commander Shadow, where kroot have been eating the catachans corpses
"Recently however, I have received a number of disturbing reports. The kroot increasingly refuse to obey the orders of their tau superiors and have taken to wearing red scares around their foreheads. They speak in the gue’la language when they think no one is listening."
catachan's genes are so strong they are overwriting the rest of the kroot genome xD
The Kroot are becoming significantly more powerful, shame the "greater good" has no space for any dissent, shame how they all died for no reason at all, unfortunately all eating of Catachan gue'la is banned because they are scientifically proven to be fatal to kroot
Oh no.... If they start carrying big knives and have a thoroughly insolent temperament towards authority consider the entire unit lost.
@@Pubillu Yo fellow Kroot, help me out with grammar, will ya? What's the correct pronounciation for: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"
I remember the old days of the Catachan Jungle Fighters Codex, even Deathwing Terminators started to sweat when the trees began speaking Low Gothic
Ah yes when moving your units made the Catachan player look up his notes to see if you triggerd one of the bobby traps/ minefields.
@@Alex-xt1rrYup or ambushing Guardsmen just appearing out of the trees and lobbing Demolisher cannon shells
The damn trees! XD
Kinda want to see a book about a Catachan Vet crash landing on a Fire Warrior op and get a kind of reverse-Predator scenario now
If it bleeds, we can kill it. If it does not bleed, we can make it bleed and kill it as well. If it doesn't have blood, we'll make it regret this fact, because then it only dies slower.
Rambo: First Blood
There's a short story of that scenario, but it's a Mortifactors neophyte that plays the predator.
@@TripleBarrel06 Mortifactors, eh? I'm guessing the prey was subsequently omnomnomed upon))
@@TripleBarrel06
Ohhh. What’s the name. Do love me some Canabalistic Mortificators since the Uriel Ventris Novels.
I like the idea of an Imperial Commander wondering why the Catachan keep requesting detonation packs during a relatively quiet period in a war. He looks into it only to find out that it's relitivly quiet because the Catachan have used their previous detonation packs so well. He authorities their request, stays out of their way, gives them whatever they want, and lets them do their own thing. He wins the war, gets a promotion, and makes sure to always have lots of Catachan guardsmen in his army from that point on.
Now that is a smart commander
I’m sad to not hear how Catachan actually fought off a Tyranid Hive fleet. Let me be clear, the planet itself did the fighting. And after a while the small Tyranid Hive fleet LEFT the system to find an easier meal. Even the TYRANIDS could not beat the planet.
Now that's something to say even the all devouring super predators basically said ye yo F that! It dose chuckle the Jim's a bit 😂
@@kishinasura1989 Catachan sucks so fucking much that the planet itself literally fought off a Chaos and Tyranid invasion practically by itself, without the actual Guardsmen fighting. Honestly if someone dropped the life eater virus bomb in it something would eat the damn thing.
At this point Catachans could make a contest out of this "How long can an invading force survive on our planet?"
Col Straken: If your sending that many men after Sly Marbo you'll need just one thing.
Local Corrupt Arbites: What?
Straken: A good supply of Bodybags.
You mean, what's left is actually big enough to need bodybags?
@@Furzkampfbomber No, the body bags are for the Arbites.
@@Furzkampfbomber gold
Bitch this is Sly marbo! There ain't enough body bags in the bloody imperium for the Carnage he leaves behind. Just fire a couple of cyclonic torpedoes from orbit and pile the corpses in the crater and be done with it.
@@CommisarHood God did not made Sly Marbo. The jungle did.
There also exists a creature that in the early drawings of Catachan wildlife looked like a barnacle from Half-life, but with a maw lined with razor sharp rasping teeth where the tongue should be. This lovely little thing is called a Catachan Face-eater, presumably it drops on you and eats your face.
So Catachan even has drop bears.
Genuine question since my memory is shot to hell....is the catachan face eater the one critter that looks like a face towel??
@@CaptainKiLL83 I think so, they fleshed it out a lot in the novels after that, I may be misremembering it in the old third edition rulebook but I seem to recall they had made it look more sack like, like a tick without legs and a giant maw where its head should be. And then when they are written about they almost sound batlike with how they attack in swarms and then communally lay their eggs in your corpse.
If I still remember during the Indonomous Crusade Catachan was attacked by Chaos cultists. The invaders were slaughtered from a combination of the Jungle Fighters and the wildlife.
When Bobby G got there, he was expecting a fight. What he got was reinforcements. Since going to Crusade is still safer than staying at home.
What book? me want
@@shaunzaarrae3727 I think it was the book after Bobby G counter coup the Imperial Senate.
I do love the fact that active war zones are safer than staying on planet
One of the highlights of that story for me was that Catachan had only few Jungle Fighters at first and most of the forces that held back and dealt with the Chaos Invasion were civilians.
@@thydzz2180 Catachan "civilians" are a bit hardier than the average guardsman.
I imagine an Asura's Wrath style avatar of the Catachan planet just having a bemused chuckle as an invasion force of literal demons, heretical demigods and possessed abominations smashes into the surface only to immediately die because their drop pod landed on a freaking TOAD.
That's not far from the truth actually. There was a demonic invasion there. The jungle fighters ambushed them over and over. Then they retreated into the jungle. The jungle literally ATE the demons. All of them. The planet itself basically took out a Chaos incursion.
I think I remember in some of the more recent lore, the World Eaters actually invaded Catachan following the opening of the Great Rift... and the Jungle Fighters barely noticed. The WE's casualties against the jungle alone forced them to retreat.
Do you you think Catachan is the only planet where a passing Tryanid Hive fleet would think: “Yeah…. Let’s give this one a miss and move on”?
Eh chuck Krieg and Valhalla in the mix too.
Catachan, the only planet in the Imperium that would beat the Great Devourer in an eating competition.
Tyranids land on the planet
The King of all Catchan devils emerges
"You came to the wrong neighborhood."
A Tyranid hive fleet invaded catachan in the past. The locals noticed a nice increase in the harvest. The hive fleet barely got the information out.
Might also be an R & D planet for the 'nids.
When I heard sly marbo, I immediately heard his signature battle cry in the back of my head and I was half expecting Arch to play a clip of it.
Aw man.... TTS went to the dark side
Sly Marbo is basically what happens if you take Rambo and then tack on every single Chuck Norris meme, slightly modified to fit.
If you drop this guy in the path of a hive fleet he will not only survive but he will singlehandedly kill every single Norn queen in his path. How will he do that without a spaceship? Sly Marbo has his ways...
The Space Crusade Expansion shows us exactly how it'd go, get into the belly on one of these badbois, kills the local genestealers and Tyranid Warriors, and blow it up while burning it from inside. Repeat the process whenever one of the big boys gets its tendrils in place to slurp the planet's juice, only to burn from inside.
Well, he is an Imperial Saint so....
With a little bit of Dutch from predator thrown in for fun.
He would just domesticate Tiranids or camuflaje into rheir hives cause he says so
@@ivanthemadvandal8435 really. I did not know that.
Every time I hear about Catachans, I'm reminded of a story I heard about a new Commissar in one of their regiments:
"Welcome sir to the Catachan 419th "one short" regiment! Glad to have you here. See sir we have this tradition in the regiment for all the new commissars, just two small things to get the integration going eh, something good for morale. We have a wee lil' Catachan Devil tied up in that tent over there, to show you have what it takes you have to get in the cage and pull one of its teeth. Got lotsa teeth, easy job. After you did that you have one task left, to show you'r really one of the men: you gotta satisfy one of the lasses. Gotta few volunteers on a dry spell so you just ask around and yeknow really make some good lovin'. If she likes you after that, welcome to regiment sir!"
So the young commissar, bewildered, confused and utterly green behind the ears wanders to the tent with the Devil cage. He closes the flap behind him and climbs into the cage. The men outside soon hear a great racket, a banging, tearing sound interspersed with terrible screaming. They grin to each other, knowing full well the paperwork will be minimal. Then after the banging falls silent and to everyone's surprise the Commissar appears, shirt gone, sleeves torn off his greatcoat.
*"Right, who was the girl with the teeth problem?"*
This is the story of how Commissar Jason "the devil's man" Statholme joined the 419th.
Glorious.
Would it be a fair assumption that the model representing such a unusual example of the Offico Prefectus is avaliable from Anvil Industries?
Ah yes. The commisariate Great Vest.
@@maddlarkin
I'd pay for that
Epic
Thanks for standing up for 40k over the last few weeks. Loved your podcast with Sargon. Keep up the great work.
Could you imagine the amount of fun the orks would have on Catachan. They might actually be in heaven fighting the locals and wildlife 24/7.
Brings a whole new meaning to "eating your greens"
I think you just robbed every resident of Armageddon of sleep for the next month.
There might be Orks on Catachan and no one knows because they all die before reaching any settlements.
There are orks on catachan. The ork weirdboy zogwort is from the planet
My mental image of the "Colonizing" of Catachan boils down to this:
Ship Lands.
Ship lands on a Greater Toad.
Ship? What ship?
@@joshuawallen8112 more like: "Brethren, after all these years in the dark void we finally arrived on a habitable world. Look at this lush paradise! Breath the fresh air! And look, lots of water that is not your own urine recycled again and again! Let's strip apart the darn ship and make ourselves at home." One week later. "Sigh."
Arch talking about Sly Marbo.
The voice inside my head : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I heard Sly Marbo once shouted a Noise Marine to death
I like the ideal of sly marbo being a perpetual. Eventually youd learn from your mistakes after dying a thousand times.
I'd rather prefer to think, that he is a combination of "legacy title" (there is always Sly Marbo), access to the rejuvenation treatment, good use of state propaganda and tall tales... and possibility that he is just one guy, snd yes, he is THAT good. Thought he is a Perpetusl never occured to me, though... might explain, how he always survives!
Sly marbo is a perpetual, but only because death is scared to try and come for him.
@@namename3913 or more accurately sly marbo is a perpetual because nothing in the warp is dumb enough to get near his soul for fear of being noticed
I'm having fun imagining that attempts were made to transport Catachan wildlife to Cadia... and there are now several space hulks floating through the Warp that are too deadly for demons to exist on... because they are full of the survivors of an all dinosaur battle-royale.
"Lt. identify that ghost ship drifting trough the void in front of us." "The archive says it's a transporter... travelling from Catachan to New Francia...it's freight list says...they stored some kind of delicious lifestock in stasis for a cookout festival..approach?" "Yes. We will secure this freight. Tell the crew they don't need their MRE. Tonight we will have a feast of mystery meat."
Sounds great
Sly Marbo once destroyed 15 Tyranids with one hand grenade. Then the grenade exploded.
Sly Marbo had a staring contest with the Eye of Terror, and the Eye of Terror blinked!
A Yautja hunting party took one look at this planet and noped the f*** out of there.
Cue Bishop Bullwinkle's "Hell Naw."
*Angry Clicking*
Translation: Fuck you I'm not going down there!
Sell the planet's scans & coordinates to the king, repeat until you are king. Then find safer prey - like named bloodthirsters.
*Furious clicking and interpretive dance*
Translation: fuck this shit I'm out! I don't really know what happened I don't really care I just want to get the fuck up outta here, fuck this shit I'm out!"
GW needs to do something at least once with marbo. Maybe a chapter in a book where a force of loyalists are saved and discover the wrecked remains of mighy traitor forces and a small scratch on the wall saying M.A.R.B.O. Even more epic if it was in a space marine book.
Sly Marbo is so powerful he transcended the main storyline and plot.
@@BI-11y_TheStormTrooperhe has become the 5th chaos God.
@@Fr33man He has become real , and now has infiltrated the land down under to tell the Aussies in GW that catachan shall not be tamed .
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..........
Marbo was last seen on Necromunda in Escher territory bringing a bouquet of flowers to Mad Donna. That said it was Catachan flowers so we're not sure if there were any survivors.
"I've lost half my squad ot foot rot, the plants are carniverous, and they have spiders the size of main battle tanks. It's almost like home."
World Eater Virus: NOPE, FUCK THIS SHIT IM OUT!
"Sarge They're in the trees, they're in the trees!"
"Son, they ARE the trees"
I love that even chaos can't invade the planet without immediately dying.
Wow regular arch releases…. You said you were going to reluctantly make videos but on a regular schedule is wonderful. I could get really used to this. Thank you again for biting the bullet and doing this for us. It wouldn’t be the same without your videos.
I think of the jurassic park scene where a Catchan is in the jungle and turns to see a lictor, his last words being, "Clever Girl"
Except its usually the Lictor muttering that as it gets flamed from 2 sides (this is actually in the older lore, 3rd or 4th Ed Nid Codex I think had a lore blurb about a Catachan regiment who fought the Nids by covering themselves in the igor of slain Tyranids to mask their sent then when went Lictor hunting, they wiped out the Tyranids but the had to spend 3 years on a decontamination ship being hosed down)
The other way around would work as well.
Well now I've just got the image of the pet foolery 'Clever girl' Clever boy' comic strip with Catachans and Lictors one upping each other in my head
What's next, Fenris?
2:40 - Perhaps they did some rock-connaissance (!)
8:50 - Ah yes, the 40K version of John Rambo.
14:00 - Along with the Sisters of Battle and the Salamanders.
18:00 - Didn't stop the Death Korps of Krieg.
26:50 - They're so tough that they didn't need the help of Big Papa Ultrasmurf to fight off the Daemons.
"Death world? Sounds like a vacation trip for me!" Any catachan trooper
"Krieg? Yeah, my granny retired there."
Catachan Devils being local insects that are the size of armored vehicles, with chitin strong enough to be armor plate and scything pincers that can cut steel.
Sly Marbo is the only creature in the galaxy that space australia checks under the bed for.
I started collecting 3rd Edition when Catachan was the first plastic Imperial Guard. The mini Catachan codex was cool (for the time), it had some jungle Carnivorous terrain rules and scenarios
My first army too, still Have a few poorly painted ones running around the collection
@@lordfrostwind3151 AMEN TO THAT
Catachan: just a scratch.
Commissar: scratch? My arms been hacked off.
Catachan: it will grow back.
there is an actual quote of one of the catachan field commanders (forgot who though)
"stop whining, greg, you got another damn arm left, now do you? get out there and kill whoever took your first one!"
"Oops sorry sir" should be a optional rule. Because it's fucking hilarious.
Basically says "Death World Troops don't strangers ordering them around and killing their friends, roll die and and 1s a commisar is met with an "unfortunate accident" and is no longer playable".
I've heard that when numbering regiments, it's not always sequential, to disguise actual army numbers from your opponents, even when referring to which grouping they're from.
I don’t think GW think their stories through that much
Arch + Catachan jungle fighters = drop EVERYTHING and watch immediately
6:02 I Like this Arch headcannon; unlike the Templin Institute's version...
Krieg Guardsmen: Okay i've fought Orks, Eldar dire avengers, tyranid swarms, and Chaos scum in the trenches of Vraks all in the hopes of getting sacrificed in the name of emperor but that planet *Points to Catachan from the spaceship void window* That planet scares me.
Catachan: When you ask someone from the northern hemisphere to describe Australia, this is likely what they will come up with.
Noy enough marmite
@@yuvalgabay1023 vegemite
Australia is not that bad. The main problem for somebody from the northern hemisphere is not really the wildlife being deadly but just the wildlife being so utterly unfamiliar.
If you are familiar with deer in europe and then you see a gazelle in africa you can pretty much guess that the gazelle is more or less the african version of a deer and thus pretty much harmless. If you are familiar with black bears in north america and then you see a polar bear in siberia you can pretty much guess that the polar bear is the siberian black bear and thus very dangerous.
But then you get to australia and you see a platypus... There's nothing you can really compare it with in the rest of the world so you pick it up just to get hit with a poison spurn.
Then you see a cassowary and you think, hey, that's pretty much an ostrich right? So you get close to it and instead of running away it jumps at you and gores you with it's claws.
The you see a kangoroo and you think, hey, that's pretty much a rabbit. So you try to catch it and the kangoroo knocks your lights out.
And this goes on and on for australia.
Its slightly inaccurate. You know why...
@@tranquilthoughts7233 I stick with it - take a random picture at a random location in Australia and it will show at least ten things that can kill you.
Anyway, no offense, I appreciate the explanation! But from the perspective of someone living in Germany, were we only have a couple of animals that are poisonous, bees; wasps and hornets included, and none of it can actually kill you, provided you are not allergic, Australia and its wildlife do still look quite dangerous. Oh, and is it actually true that kangoroos can't walk backward?
Apart from that, I'd stay away from anything that looks like an ostrich. Ostrichs are mean and can be pretty f*ing dangerous.
"Enough of this ! clear the trees, bring the flamers !!!
-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH !
-WHAT IS GOING ON !?! What is this NONSENSE ?!?
-... Sir ? ... the Jungle is... Laughting..."
A good flamethrower - or plasmathrower - would be great. The humidity being high means easier to control spread of fires and lower likelyhood of it growing out of control. As for the plants, they'd probably burn fine, but their seeds might be flameproof, a common adaptation on Earth. Also acidproof, and maybe explode when disturbed to scatter seeds because the pod/fruit's juices are now superheated by the fire.
and the seedlings would probably have barbs or sharp pointy implements to embed themselves into convenient nutrition source, a.k.a. shrapnel that would grow out of your corpse.
you can always tell a Catachan is near by the sound of CCR
Unfortunately the catachans have been ruined for me. In the Catachan Devil novel it is confirmed that when charging, the catachans Naruto run. That is not a joke. That really happens.
They are Cata-Chans! Believe it!!!!
1. It is called the ninja run, it's older than N***** run.
2. N***** doesn't exist.
Given where they live, charging trough the foliage you dont really have time to brush away plants, so if your face can take the beating you get most amount of view and reaction time going head first and hands back give you good physical flow while keeping foliage on the sides, not to end up into your feet depending on the plants in question... and how carnivorous those are in that area. So yeah i see the benefit given the environment and group in question, no joke. That is when you need to flow fast and rush/charge, instead of hiding and moving stealthy.
If their rifles are sling at their back its rather quick to reach for it and just sling it trough arm pit into low ready, take step back and shoot trough foliage to your target. I can see the benefits of this.
@@Hellsong89 That is absurd, it would in NO WAY work, you go to a dense forest or jungle and run with your arms behind you.. you will at best break your nose, or if unlucky lose an eye or worse.
Arch, you joke about Virus bombing but in 5th edition codex a warbad from the Iron Warriors did virus bomb Catachan, and the invading Chaos Lord was killed upon planetfall from being strangled by Col. Iron Hand Straken with a poisonous root.
So many unanswered questions there but... details.
Iron Warriors: (Five Seconds After Landing on Catachan) Confused Screaming!!!
Well, if they had transplanted Catachan flora and fauna to Cadia, it would simply have eaten the Blackstone fortress.
Or taken control of the Blackstone Fortress. As quite a bit of the vegetation on Catachan seems to like taking control of anything that wanders near it and using them as a host to reproduce.
Creed would use his strategic genius to hide a few barking toads.
@@Alex-xt1rr Import Barking Toads to the next plant Chaos/Orcs plan to invade and use them as minefields.
in my head conan theyre all made out of jelly beans. theres no reason to believe this but im convinced of it
I like the idea of a Dawn of war style game where a Catachan regiment is available, but you don't control them directly. You just tell them "I want X done/killed" and leave it to them to try to accomplish that task.
so something like rimworld or dwarf fortress but on Catachan
Would you consider doing a video on the Night Lords? I really want to see your perspective on the whole "legion was made up of the worst dregs scraped from the proto-Imperium's prisons" lore being kept even after Space Marines were retconned to require pre-adolescent boys as the raw materials, because seriously, if anything is up there with the World Eaters in proving the Emperor was either terminally arrogant or far less brilliant than the Imperium believes, it was him signing off on a plan to take pre-adolescent cannibals, serial killers, spree murderers and rapists and then turn them into super soldiers.
I mean using the dregs of society as terror troops is as old as mankind
Did the emperor sign off on letting the dregs join the night lords? I know what what the emperor intended for them, but wasn't it was the locals who sent the dregs , as a fuck you to curze?
Somehow, for some reason, this was an extremely entertaining episode. Humor landed perfectly. Great job!
If you don’t know how to handle a knife by the age of 3 you might not live to see your 4th birthday-a catachan
My head cannon is that you released this on the 26th, it was my birthday. Yaya me!! A new catachan arch video!!! Lol
Catachan. The only place where base-line humans MIGHT be able to start keeping up with Astartes. Why haven't they created a chapter from this place again?
Probably because no space marine has had the balls to try and recruit/abduct a catachan teenager.
Best comment ever, lol.
I imagine Lord Commander Militant threatened to Exterminatus any Chapter that tried
"You are not stealing my Rambos!"
An entire planet populated by the cast of "Predator".
Tyranids come to eat catachan.... Catachan eats the Tyranids
When a Catachan sees a Tyranid, they get homesick,
Catachan has no PDF nor it needs one,
Sly Marbo is not the planetary governor,
When a Catachan women see the commissar is single they ask the SOB to pray for him,
Catachan men have been now to cause instant cases of pregnancy in Eldar & Tau women,
The Emperor once tried to use Catachan soldiers in creating Custodes, the result was a Thunder Warrior that had stealth skills on par with the first generation of the Raven Gaurd,
"Planetary Defense Force? It's right there."
The Catachan pointing to an ork being eaten by plants and a Chaos Space Marine getting sliced and diced by a huge monster.
I absolutely love the image of world eaters and demons landing on Catachan and immediately getting ripped to pieces by the wildlife. All while the local Catachans say "Did you hear something?".
Little known fact, Carachan has been invaded by the Tyranids twice.
According to the local wildlife the 'nids where delicious.
@@Alex-xt1rr would the Catachan snack on ‘Nids?
@@Alex-xt1rr The local wildlife is the 1st invasion, rather like Fenrisian Kraken.
Why didn't they learn their lesson the first time?
The catachan jungle fighters are one of my absolute favorite, rivaled only by the Death Korps of Krieg.
Lol 30 years of playing never got the "jungle fighter" pun/play on words. Thank you arch
Transporting the wildlife of Catachan to Cadia you say? That's if they could get the local wildlife off the planet to begin with and transporting it to another planet without the ship turning into a catachan space hulk. Like to see the terminator squads deal with that problem.
I think that'd go about as well as the introduction of cane toads did in Australia, except that they'd be eating the locals on top of breeding like crazy...
Great video and I love the Tanith First and Only, Elysian drop troops, Harkoni Warhawks, Tallarn Desert Raiders far more then the Catachan but they are a great Regiment none the less.
Yesterday I was just picturing a Catachan dude showering, with a knife still strapped to his thigh. He finishes, steps out…and stabs his towel with said knife to make sure it wasn’t one of those sneaky predators.
I read somewhere that a species needs at a minimum of 100 'breeding' pairs. This avoids any short term inbreeding issues.. but in the long term you might have genetic problems if anyone from the original 200 had something going on genetically. I believe (I'm too lazy to look it up), something called the 'Founder's Affect'.
Yes the Founder's Affect is a type of genetic drift that most people don't really appreciate. Early arrivals in a habitable zone can have vast numbers of descendants. One example is there is a rare type of eye cancer that only really hits the population of St Helena because one of the early settlers had a recessive gene for it, but a combination of the number of all their decedents and them being located together allows it to manifest. It also means a population like that might have very little genetic diversity, even if it expands into the millions.
@@RolfHartmann Cool, thanks.
@@RolfHartmann There are several populations that suffer from this effect. Look at thalassaemia, for instance, which even has it name because in Europe, its appearance is limited to the population of the mediterranean sea ('thalasso' = greek for 'sea'). Of course it can also be found in Africa and South-East Asia, but in the end, its appearance is limited to certain populations. Although in this particular example, it is actually an evolutionary benefit, because although having detrimental effects, it also protects from malaria.
And amongst european jews, and for the love of the God Emperor, this is not meant as a statement of any kind, certain types of cancer and other genetic diseases are way more frequent than in the rest of the european population, simply because they lived or had to live as a relatively close society and genetic exchange rarely happened.
Just 1 minutes ago, I was thinking of listening to the adeptus ridiculous podcast of catachan jungle fighters again while I’m working out right now. Then this happened, haha! Brilliant timing!!!!
'' Our world is hell. Combat is living ''
- Col. ''Iron-hand Straken''
This better be 33 minutes of Arch screaming "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
they def have a machine to make red bandanas
My first army in 40K, the "oops sorry sir" rule was a source of many jokes between my brother and I. Those ugly SOBs will always hold a special place in my heart.
At this point im sure that Catachan itself has a presence in the warp, probably the 40k equivalent of Godzilla.
In one of the imperial armour if you worked out the math for an Infantry regiment for the example it's about 3.5 thousand per regiment. Granted this obviously changes
Catachan fighter *tries to strangle ork*
Ork- *choking*"get offa me ya git!"
"Sir, Machine gun nest at 50m away!"
"Alroight Johnsonn, bring me 'The Catapult'"
*7ft.5in tall Catachan Brick House walks out of the dug out*
“Who’s going to maintain a mining site..?” Glares in space dwarf
FINALLY ITS HERE IVE WAITED FOR EVER
I always thought that they used regiment as in the UK (and the commonwealth to a degree) we use the regimental system. The number of soldiers in each regiment varies all the time due to requirements. And since regiments act like independent entities (soldiers are loyal to their regiment first and foremost) that usually operate on their own (unless they are doing something more specialist where for example they get an Airbourne regiment working in tandem with an armoured regiment). And since they have their own customs, traditions, and quirks, that it was a suitable model for the Imperial Guard.
Funny, the Planet May eats the World eater Virus. This gave me a smile
Appreciate another great upload. I've been waiting for this video in particular. Love the jungle homies.
Planet of the 80’s action heroes.
What kind of bushes grow on catachan?
The ambush.
Catachan is kind of the poster child of Death Worlds.
Those are men to have with you in a fight. Unlike their cousin regiment (cousin, if you put special in front of it) the Nahcatac Shrubbery Pokers.
“Somehow they survived” -the name of a book on the history of Catachan.
Ah yes the example of if it doesn't kill you it makes you stronger
Survival rate goes from 1 in 200 to 1 in 5. Impressive.
Sly Marbo is so tough, he once thought about slapping Chuck Norris in the face, and barely survived it! ^_^
but the worst thing about catachan was the constant fortunate son playing on loop
The men and women who can push around space marines.
14:01
Is... Is that an unaugmented human choking out an ork with one arm?
Nah he’s decapitating the ork with a fuckhuge knife
@@joelhernstrom6060
While choking him out with his other arm.
I'm not sure what's more impressive, tbh
Catachan's PDF: The Hardest Game Wardens in the Galaxy.
I remember an awsome Guard tale about a super experienced death world unit. They had a high rate of Camisar deaths. 😆
i really like on how you narrate the story ,. its like an enthusiatic archivist of the imperium on how you present it ., and for that im going to subscribe to your channel . Hope you can do this same kind of enthusiasm like this on any warhammer 40k story 😁👍
"You aint seen what we've seen"
-catachan Jungle fighter Dawn of war 2 retribution.
Finally the RUclips algorithm did me a favor bringing me here lmao
Hey Arch, I don't know if u noticed, but every once in a while, the background in the video would flicker for just a second, then it'd be fine. It happened about 5 or 6 times iirc. Just thought I'd let you know. Also, I'd LOVE to see u do a video on sly marbo. Keep up the good work and don't let the haters get u down bud!
I met a Vietnam War veteran today.
My battery died in a parking lot and he gave me a jump.
A very cool guy he was in the fifth cavalry
I had that third edition codex suppliment for Catachan. My second IG army was the (then) new plastic Catachans. Man, I miss third edition. 55 man platoons as a single infantry unit slot.
18:40 I’m now imagining a regiment dressed up like American football players and chucking football shaped det charges at the enemy.