Moms Need Help: Domestic Labor, Trad Wives, and Motherhood Under Capitalism
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- Опубликовано: 24 июл 2024
- It’s time to debunk the traditional stereotypical 1950s housewife. In this video essay I discuss how the stereotypical traditional stay at home wife - usually a rich white woman in an upper class suburb - is far from most stay at home moms' realities today - at least in the U.S.
Stay at home moms today are more likely to live in poverty, be immigrants, and be nonwhite, and are forced to leave the workforce and financial freedom behind due to the rising costs of childcare, lack of maternity leave, and lack of universal healthcare.
So come on a journey with me into motherhood under capitalism, having it all, the devaluation of women and domestic labor, as well as the changing modern American family.
Timestamps
Intro - Rethinking The Housewife 0:00
Part 1: Who got to be a housewife? 11:10
The Crucial History of Housewifery and Women’s Liberation from the 1770s-1990s
Domestic Labor
Part 2: The Modern American Family 33:58
Single moms
Immigrant mothers
Same-sex parents
Child caretakers of adult relatives (oldest daughter syndrome)
Part 3: The Current State of Women at Home and at Work 40:46
Reaganomics
The independent self reliant nuclear family
Turning parenting into a one person job
Sleep training as an ‘American thing’
Part 4: The Rise of Trad Wives 49:18
Part 5: Stay at Home Dads 58:04
Conclusion 1:02:18
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Patreon: / cheyennelin
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Works Cited/Sources:
docs.google.com/document/d/1r...
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Music:
𝑴𝒓. 𝑺𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒎𝒂𝒏 - 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑪𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒔 [𝑳𝒐-𝑭𝒊]
Thiago Montagnini
• 𝑴𝒓. 𝑺𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒎𝒂𝒏 - 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑪𝒉𝒐𝒓... 
Развлечения
Something I don't see people talk about a lot is this common thing where husbands (or anyone really) are asked to do house or child related work, and they will argue that said thing isn't necessary. They think neither person needs to do said thing, so the wife just ends up doing it anyway. Does this make sense? I can't be the only one who's seen this. It really annoys me because of how dismissive it is.
I see that too
absolutely. and it's often something that IS necessary but the men in question don't notice it because they don't understand the consequences of not doing it. kind of like those situations where a woman goes on vacation or visits her family or something for a few days and comes back to find the home a complete mess because her husband doesn't consider putting things away a necessity
Oh absolutely. Men will dismiss a.lot of tasks as unnecessary then if the woman doesn't do these tasks, the men are flabbergasted how messy and disorganized things become
Ha ha, that makes perfect sense. My last girlfriend once brilliantly summed up this difference between men and women: Men will clean the toilet when it's necessary. Women will clean it *before* it becomes necessary. But lucky me, I found a woman who is as much as a slacker as I am, and married her. Our housekeeper left in despair. And since then, between us we've managed to keep the household at least in a livable state.
@@ishathakor its almost like one is only thinking in the present, and the other is thinking in the future by remembering the past, lol. If you are constantly in the now, you might think less about cause and effect?
The fact that poorer, less educated women are less likely to know the financial tricks that can be pulled to keep them safe while out of the workforce is devastating.
Being a SAHM is so damn scary, and being *forced* into it due to circumstances rather than clear-eyed choice?
However, there are also women who would prefer to stay at home to raise their children, but due to economic necessity they must return to work. Not because they love their career and develop throughout their work life, but because they need to earn enough money. Since one salary is not enough to support a family like before.
I have a cousin who is depressed about it and she thinks it's crazy that she has to see her boss's face more hours a day than her baby's face. She doesn't see the point in having children if she can't spend time with them and see them grow.
If a mother wants to stay at home because she finds more satisfaction in that work than in her job outside the home, people blame her for being useless who doesn't make money, including other women who take her as a loser and a parasite on her husband... A woman who has failed as a modern woman and has regressed to the stone age. If a mother chooses to return to work quickly because she loves her successful career, and she takes on the challenge of being a mother and an employee at the same time, she is still attacked for neglecting one of the two tasks and for not being competent enough in both tasks. at the same time: bad mother or bad professional. As if being perfect was the least I could demand of her.
I think that the only solution would be for motherhood to be recognized as an important labour by society and as such to be given the economic remuneration that corresponds to it. A work that is rewarded economically and socially as it deserves. And please, with the right to vacation at least one month per year, in addition to stopping requiring mothers to make sacrifices.
Coverture is such a scary legal practice. Upon marriage, a married woman's legal existence was considered to be merged with that of her husband, so that she had no independent legal existence of her own. This is where the whole 'can't own land, can't sign a contract, can't open a bank account' came from. This also meant that a husband could and would TAKE his working wife's money and spend it however he wanted. He could drink it all away while the rest of the family starved. Forget divorce, you have no ability to leave unless you are fine with running away and NEVER seeing any of your family again.
Yikes... I looked up how that worked where I live (the Netherlands) and it was much the same in the 50s. A single woman could do what the hell she wanted, but if she started a business, built it up to a success by her hard work, then married, the husband would assume legal control of the company. And she'd need his permission for any large expenditure, in the business or the household.
Scary to think that this practice was the norm not that long ago...
@@kaasmeester5903And that some would happily bring it back.............
and I've seen christians argue that since single women could be independent, this isn't an issue...and that women and men should accept their roles in marriage (roles that were created thousands of years ago by unevolved men)...disgusting...@@kaasmeester5903
In history you see cases of women becoming widowed and refusing to remarry to keep the estate/income. Princess De Lamballe in the court of Versailles did this.
Rich women who were born rich, would often be advised by fathers and mother NOT to marry at all and retain their property or rank 😮😮
Its so unfair for everyone involved.😢
Princess de Lamballe in particular was remembered so fondly by those who knew her and its sad that she was consigned to a life of mourning and loniless just to make sure her children got her husband's estate.
As a blood princess, she couldn't marry down without sacrificing her own rank and income. She leaned heavily on the other women in her life.
Its frivolous in comparison. But the women of rank who managed to avoid this law by not marrying, also didn't get a great outcome imo.
😢 its the lesser of 2 evils. But it was sad to read about all the young women in their teens and twenties being forced to go the rest of their lives without love or affection due to being widowed or trying to retain independence
In Brasil, we cal it "jornada dupla" (something like two jobs for one). Meaning that you have a outside (home) job, whereas you're paid for it, and a inside job, unpaid, underrated and not recognized as a real job.
The struggle is real. But at least here we have some rights like: payment leave for childbirth (120 days), and a woman can't be fired if she's pregnant and 1 year after baby is born.
That's Caroline Moser's Gender Role Identification Framework. It's said that there are three roles and access to resources. Men have easier and freer access to resources while women perform three roles (undervalued at all stages). Men only do community and productive roles but in a way that they are paid more and to greater financial end due to their access to resources. Women do three roles;
- reproductive role unseen and unpaid.
- productive roles paid but less paid depending on their male counterparts' mitigation of their access to resources, eg you'll farm and harvest but he'll keep most of the money because it's his land/house/family.
- community roles where he's voted into paid political and community roles but you must vote but never opt to be voted for.
Am I correct that there's also pressure to be extremely attractive?
@@sazonada That pressure exists for men and women, but women are much more valued for being pretty. It’s a double edged sword sword though because depending on who you interact with you will either be taken more seriously than an unattractive woman, or you won’t be taken seriously at all because the assumption is that you are only pretty.
What I think is crazy is that our generation of parents would call their millennial/gen z daughters lazy if they didn't know how to do every single household chore, and yet these girls' gen x or baby boomer fathers could be equally as clueless about housework without anyone shaming or making fun of them, and they in fact got applauded for doing very little for their kids. Not saying that all dads from their generation are lazy, but the bar is much lower for them. I remember millennial and gen z women getting bullied online if they didn't know how to cook or do every household chore as soon as they became adults, but boomer and gen x dads who hardly lifted a finger were praised for the very bare minimum.
Back in the 90s, my dad didn't know how to mop as a young ADULT MAN (no hate towards my dad. He's not lazy by any means, he just was never taught that task specifically, but I'm sure that if I was in his position, the boss wouldn't be as understanding), and his boss taught him how to mop for his job with no issues or ridicule, but I knew how to change diapers at 10 (AND I had to learn to do it by myself, because my mom would just leave me alone with little kids for long periods of time) and my mom STILL complained about me not doing anything around the house and called me "immature" and "unhelpful" as a young girl, and I got laughed at any time I talked about how long I had to watch my younger siblings to other people, because it "wasn't good enough".
eldest daughter syndrome is too real...
Do you know why that is? Men make the world go round! We have useful jobs. Women have jobs riding desks or checking people out. Yes women do important jobs like nursing and doctors, but the majority are low skill. That means your main and most important job is raising the next generation
Bruh you can't change them, just leave if it gets unbearable
This is why people want to become hermits.
I'm 44 and have really seen how women my age were trained to be both housewives and career women and were expected to excel at both. No one is training young boys to be stay at home dads and career men
24:07 Friendly reminder that Sojourner Truth didn't say "Ain't I a woman" and the white woman who transcribed it to make her sound more like a stereotypical southern enslaved person. Sojourner spoke Dutch and most likely didn't say that in that way. I love the video nonetheless!
Thank you, came here to say this
I’m a SAHM. My first husband of 13 years was so abusive that I refused to have children. But I chose wrong again for my second marriage. He’s not *as abusive and I missed the red flags, so I thought I was doing better for my future children.
This lifestyle would have been fine if I married someone who thought parenting, or housework, or cooking, cleaning, laundry, ANYTHING was part of his job as a parent and husband. What really killed all my love and respect for him was when I finally reached the end of a grueling day with three neurodivergent toddlers, and I had 15 minutes to sit down and rest, he would insist on sex. If I did my 18-20 hour day and I also had the flu, he still insisted on sex. I didn’t exist to him other than to do ALL the childcare, housework, shopping, cooking and then ease HIS tensions at the end of the day. It was October 31st 2011, and I got done with my day of taking care of the kids and taking them trick-or-treating, and I sat down to write a short story about my kids that would have taken 10 minutes at most. He demanded sex. I asked him to please give me 15 minutes to write this thing. He blew his top! Not the first or last time he lost his temper over sex.
I haven’t written anything since that day, because it killed something inside of me. So much psychological hell since then. I’ve done my best to protect the kids, and they have some really intelligent insight into what they want and do NOT want in a partner. They have no respect for him at all and he can’t figure out why because he’s stupid.
It’s 2024, and I still can’t afford to escape this marriage because I haven’t worked outside the home for 18 years. I still skip meals to make sure my kids get fed. He finally gave up on sex and is addicted to 🌽 so I’m a virgin again and I might stay that way until I die.
I know my words might not mean much as I’m just a stranger on the internet, but I really wish you the best and I hope you can escape financially, physically and mentally well. Situations like yours really break by heart, no one should have to be in the position you are in
Honey that was coercive rape every time he did that! I'm so sorry you're still in this marriage I feel awful for you. I'm just glad the younger generation is waking up.
I'm wishing you all the best, and you sound like an incredibly strong mother for your kids :)
Are you able to go to community college part-time? Do you have some sort of workforce solution in your area that could help you get a certification so you can get on your own feet? Nursing homes are in dire need of staff such as CNAs. I hope you can get out of your situation.
Well, this is sad.
Conservatives I know that cringily label themselves as Trad prefer families be broke as shit and not be able to provide educational opportunities and other fun life experiences to their kids. They also force their older kids to look after their younger ones. My Priest has admitted to me that these older kids often confess extreme resentment toward the faith and their parents as a result. It really is them ironically holding themselves back, a bigger safety net and stronger benefits and labor laws would allow virtually all women to be "stay at home" moms at least for several years during their children's early development. Capitalism and conservative "free market" mantra is what has destroyed their idea of family, not liberals.
There is a mom blogger that's trad, stay-at-home and they have 11 kids. She homeschools as well. Said something about the older kids help with the younger ones. I don't think these people realize how their kids will turn out having had to share everything and having no privacy. Kids should NOT have to share everything; some things are that personal and ALL kids (even same gendered siblings) need privacy.
These women don't care. I'm convinced women in this day and age that have this many kids have a pregnancy addiction. To put your older kids up to doing things for younger sibs is downright self-centered.
@@TijaunaK There are women who love being pregnant and having babies, but what we are seeing is a chunk of a wider culture. Trad-men, especially Mormon trad-men, make it clear that they expect their wives to have as many children as possible, and many of them do not believe in birth control. On top of this it is the culture to parentify children, especially older female children, into taking care of the younger siblings. They know this dynamic is unfair, but because it’s tradition, they keep doing it.
@@tiahnarodriguez3809 there really are times where i wanna go up to one of these trad-whatever people and tell them "i dont care about what you believe or dont believe in. Because i should get to live my life how i want. Not how you want me too." I dont care if your religion says that you shouldn't drink alcohol, if i wanna get drunk i will. Replace alcohol with literally any other thing and it works basically the same way. I just dont care what your religious beliefs are. You do you. But of your religion limits legally what i am allowed to do as a non believer, fuck you.
@@tiahnarodriguez3809
It's a sad affair.
24:08 I recently found out that Sojourner Truth’s speech was edited by a white woman abolitionist Frances Dana Barker Gage to be “more palatable to an American audience” by giving it what she interpreted as a more Southern “slave accent” when Truth’s was more Northern, New York.
I’m a SAHM and any time someone says I shouldn’t complain and that I’m lucky I simply say you complain about your job that pays you money you should be grateful to your employer for that and not complain.
I like that answer
I had someone tell me I should be more willing to sacrifice for my kids ‘cause that’s what being a mum is’ when I canceled taking my kids to an event because I broke my foot. I’m still limping in a cast with crutches, but cause I can get myself to the toilet, I shouldn’t have any issue taking my kids all over town. I explained I was taking the opportunity to teach my kids how to deal with disappointment since it’s gonna come up a lot in their lives 😂 People are ignorant as shit when it comes to motherhood and what it’s actually about.
This is one of my many reasons I'm never having kids. Men just dont view child rearing as "important" as they do anything else that personally affects them. Im not going to be the main one cleaning up after kids while my husband does nothing around the house on top of caring for the kids he helped make.
This is what worries me too. Yes, my mom was a SAHM in my early elementary years but that's because my dad was in the navy and was gone for 3-6 months at a time. When he came back, he was a very involved dad. When I was a toddler, he took me everywhere and got weird looks when visiting his hometown because, as his mom said, "we don't do that [fathers taking care of their children] around here." He was the one to dress me, take me to daycare, and sometimes pick me up depending on what shift my mom was working during that time.
As an only child, I was the second set of hands for either of my parents. But my dad did have the magical "I could do all this myself before I was married" syndrome. My first and long-standing chore was laundry. When I had to move back home, my chores remained about the same. My mom got tired of being the magical cleaning fairy so the main bathroom routinely has, well, #2 that he doesn't seem to notice. It is his job to clean the main bathroom and it shows how much my mom did with how far my dad will let things go before either being complained to or his random inclination to clean happens. One of my jobs had me cleaning at least one bathroom a week so resisting to clean it myself is hard.
My standard for what my future partner brings into our shared life seems more and more like something unachievable. I would at least take the involved father on the same page with how we want to raise them (and consistent hygiene) but we aren't living in a house larger than what I grew up in unless we make enough to hire a housekeeper. But like you, I cannot be working 40 hours a week to come home to household chores and a partner who can't be bothered to help or entertain the children in the meantime. I need at least one but I would like an actual partnership.
Also, they can still just up and leave you and the kid(s) for good without remorse, it seems like. But if a woman ever has these thoughts, she's an evil witch, the worst human to possibly exists. I do not blame any woman who leaves such deadbeat dads to fend for themselves, ngl. (I'd do feel bad for the kids, though, so it's a double-edged sword if they were to be left alone with these incompetent men).
The problem are nt kids,the problem are these lazy men and the women who enable them. At least,a small child has all the reasons to be picked after and yet when taught they learn. But picking up after a grown arse male and puting up with it,there s the real problem.
to these super traditional people child rearing is only "important" when a woman says she doesn't want kids 🙃
That’s a pretty inaccurate generalization of men. My children come FIRST and foremost, but reality is If someone has to play the game of being exploited for their labor, it’s going to be the man/husband.
Also a horrible reason to not have kids. You can’t find a partner that doesn’t do the things you generalize all men as?
I don't know if my wife will have the time to watch this, but already at under 3 minutes, your thesis is everything that she has been grappling with for the past ~7 years since the birth of our first child. Being a parent is HARD; society is NOT built for people who have to take care of other people (little or otherwise) full-time, and we are both punished for this in our careers and social lives.
BUT, I don't know what I would do if, on top of all of that, I had to deal with CONSTANTLY being told that I was somehow a terrible parent simultaneously for not being focused enough on my household and for being too controlling of my children, while being taunted with images of some parents who claim to have found a balance where they are great parents without sacrificing their own lives and careers while still other parents criticize those parents (and me by extension) for "choosing" to have a career outside or within the home that "takes me away" from my children. Because I'm a man, when people would see me holding my child under one arm, upside down, as she kicked and screamed and I struggled to communicate with a cashier or waiter, they would mostly just grin at me because at least I was managing her. If my wife takes our children anywhere, even if they are perfectly behaved, she has to worry about people judging what kind of clothes the kids are wearing, whether their hair is clean, if they have worn out shoes or misfitting pants, if it's a location and time that is considered appropriate for her to be bringing children...
What the hell is wrong with our society?
I’ve had so many dirty looks from other women for my kids just existing. Once I took my kid all the way to the entrance of a movie theater and was playing with him there; I was holding him upside down. He was laughing. This group of older black women snapped at me ‘no one wants to hear all of that!!!!’
We were at the box office. Concessions and the halls and bathrooms and bars were between me and any of the actual theaters. I was as far from any of the theaters as I could get without stepping outside into the rain.
And still I was somehow being a bad mom because my kid had the giggles.
My husband has played airplane with the kids in the hallways at this very same theater and he reports always being treated as a freaking war hero and being complimented on being such a good dad.
What you say is entirely true, the double standard is brutal.
Imma low income black SAHM. I actually asked for it because I realized that for me my social battery was too low to be working and being a mom. Especially Just to pay for my then 3 children daycare cost. My husband does have to work long hrs. But he does try to help out of her home, while the children are awake
Salute to you both, sis. Capitalism robs us of the lives we’re naturally meant to live.
@@Don.M. She’s low-income with 3 kids. I wouldn’t call that living life, especially if her husband leaves, passes, or becomes disabled. That’s a risky situation
Oof I feel so seen lol thank you for this video. I’m a SAHM, my partner is a factory mechanic & like most households right now, money is real tight.
When it comes to working class families, people are quick to label the fathers as lazy & while some of them most definitely are, I feel I have remind said people that our partners aren’t coming home from cushy office jobs. They’re doing hard, back breaking manual labor for up to 60 hours a week so when we do something nice for them please don’t take it as us being subservient tradwives. A lot of us SAHM’s are leftists, feminists & community activists so it hurts when we all get lumped up with the 1950s cosplay weirdos.
We’re watching the men we love die early deaths under a capitalist system that only serves to benefit their rich bosses & it’s traumatizing so if we feel like baking them a cake every now & then, let us bake the fuckin cake.
So I’m studying abroad this semester and I’m living in a small apartment by myself for the first time, which has really made me realize how much work goes into just maintaining a space/maintaining my livelihood. Before, I was in a dorm with a meal plan (both of which were shoddy quality) but I didn’t have to clean the bathrooms and I didn’t have to grocery shop and I barely had any dishes to wash. What few chores I had were split between my roommates and I. Even without a kid and living in such a small space, I’m realizing just how much cleaning has to be done to maintain the space and how many errands I have to run to make sure I have enough food to eat or have any other essentials like toilet paper or pads. What’s especially awful is that I have horrible dust allergies, which means I need to dust often but also means I have to go through the awful process of dusting while having an allergic reaction (itchy skin, very runny nose, etc) more frequently, instead of just telling my parents/sibling/roommate “hey if you dust I’ll do the dishes or a different chore”. There’s so much I’m constantly doing just to keep up with living and on top of my studies it’s exhausting.
I feel like with inflation on the rise, people of individualist countries like the US, should consider being “trad” by going back to their ancesters’ collectivist roots and consider multigenerational and/or other shared living arrangements, where you can have 2-3+ incomes contributing to a household.
This makes it easier to pay bills and necessary home expenses, have home cooked meals and maintain a clean home, and take care of dependents. Let’s say all the able bodied adults in the household coincidentally suck at cooking, cleaning, and caretaking, hiring someone to do it will be more doable with 3+ incomes vs relying on 1 to do all of that.
2/3 are more doable due to SAHPs, but 3/3 is more achievable when you have moments like now where the prices are sky rocketing out of nowhere.
Let’s say someone loses their job, going from 4 incomes to 3 or 3 incomes to 2 can be less of a hard financial hit compared to going from 1 income to 0 overnight.
You're right and this is the reason why, I moved to another country and I live in my wife's and our daughter's country permanently. Americans will just never band together like this, especially African Americans (our group).
@@skatebordstephenthe unfortunate truth. I’ve been outside the US for 6 years. I can now see that struggling is glorified way too much in American culture, and many people lowkey hate their families and want to leave their parents as soon as possible, and it just seems like Americans seem to always have more issues when it comes to simple collective activities (like why are there so many videos of people struggling to figure out a restaurant bill in a group dinner)
My family is Caribbean so luckily they didn’t completely conform to the individualistic mindset. My parents were sad when I moved.
I worked with a girl who walked with a limp. She had a 4 year old child and explained that she had her baby and went to work the next day at a dollar store so she never healed properly.
Yeah. No mercy for us once the kid is born. My hospital kicked me to the curb after 48 hours and I had to go get on a greyhound bus with stitches and no pain meds. I could have handled it if it weren't for the lack of medication. These people at the hospital told me to take TYLENOL for stitches. I used edibles and vodka the first 2-3 weeks to get through the pain. Was lucky to have a partner to care for the child and relatives who would take me in for a while to recuperate. I can't imagine what I would have done to get through it all without these factors.
Yes, I am from Latvia and we get 19 months of paid parental leave, so I have never heard of someone doing sleep training here. We also do not sleep in a seperate room until the child is about 1,5 or 2 years.
"So what, there are no dumb people anymore?" Ok, but that pause and cut to music had my internal narrator going "And that was the first time lil billy met jesus" lmaoooooooo
Me too. I thought, "I didn't know he died on that show. Must have been the last episode."
"having it all doesn't mean doing it all" a perfect summary
"work" and "employment" should be separated (you are very informed and your analyses are always insightful, it's for everybody who talks about this)
Work is everything that person does that requires the effort and skills (cooking, cleaning, advising, building) so stay at home people do work as well as care workers.
Employment is the official contract and being called employee, "being on the market".
Something no one seems to mention is how much a SAHM’s work is hard physical labor that requires a lot of physical force and movement and it is barely acknowledged and people pretend like women sit at home all day and do nothing.
No reasonable person believes those things about SAHMs.
@@Don.M. Lots of men believe this. Quite playing.
@@tiahnarodriguez3809Many women also believe it and are the first to criticize a mother when they find out that she left her job to take care of her children.
Thank you for making this! I'm not a parent but I have spent time studying women's history and I've been hoping someone on youtube will historicize this issue. These influencers and others who idealize the mythological figure of the white mid century stay at home Mom are spreading a deeply dangerous myth.
I don’t know if this will be mentioned in the video but the one thing I noticed about my own stay at home dad is that they were do just above the minimum requirement to get a task done or ignore it and leave it for mum leaving the working mother to pick up the slack either after work or during breaks when working from home. Even though there was a parent at home they still had to do the majority of keeping the house running task’s despite trying to delegate. I don’t know if other people had a similar dynamic or my family was just especially dysfunctional 😅. But it seems that men are almost never expected to do any help with housework if they work outside but women often have to do double duty because one is just supposed to be natural so it can’t be that hard on top of working full time right?/s
Yeah, I also had a stay at home dad and very little was done. He didn’t cook, didn’t clean, just did yard work and left my sibling and I to fend for ourselves. My mom worked full time and still had to do all the child rearing and housework. My husband also grew up in a similar dynamic but at least his dad did the laundry and cooked awful food, so he also suffered. Maybe there are better stay at home dads but idk……
@@elenarewd9299My dad did cook but not well and my mum ended up doing most of the cooking in bulk. He would also do housework but only vacuuming, cleaning dishes and laundry for some reason. He would never do the actual putting away of clutter or sorting of junk mail etc that actually keeps a house looking clean. So my mum would come home to basically a cluttered house she had to clean. His parenting skills also just consisted mostly of yelling so that wasn’t great. He would never do anything my mum asked besides the basic tasks I mentioned.
@@elenarewd9299 I watched a video where the comment section was full of stay-at-home dads bragging that they did a better job that their wives and how easy it was, but based on what they said they did I could tell they were lying. Men’s version of taking care of the house and kids is very different than women’s version of taking care of the house and kids. When my mom went away for a medical seminar. My dad’s version of watching the kids and taking care of the home was making my sister and me take care of everything on top of the homework and after school activities we had to do. I was in elementary school and he expected us to be fully functioning adults because he was too lazy to be a parent. He also never did anything my mom asked and would tell her to quit nagging him, but expected her to be at his beck and call and always ready sexually. Men overestimate how good they are as husbands and fathers.
The only thing I am grateful for and enjoy being a SAHM --- is the fact that we now have internet and satellite TV - meaning I dont have to revolve my life around "Daytime Television" like my Aunts had to do in the 90s.
And hopefully going to college online and re-entering the workforce after kids are grown will become more and more of a normal.
It's still definitely better now for women than in the past
Being a SAHM sets you up for a lot of challenges and people think that because you aren’t making money you have no choice but to not say anything you are viewed as worthless in society but you are what makes every thing possible it’s really hard
There would be nothing to ‘make possible’ without the labor of the man who has to work to keep his family fed, housed and clothed.
@@Don.M. Go back to the manosphere. Being bitter won’t get you the results you’re looking for.
@@Don.M. would you like to be trapped with the responsibility of the child then just because it exited your body? It’s a fair trade off for one to work and one to care for the offspring both are jobs.
42:05 Once again, I am absolutely flabbergasted as a European how much shit Reagan actually pulled off during his time as president. What an absolute prick 🤬 Is there anything he didn't ruin?
He was absolutely the most damaging President.
Thank you for this video. I newly became a stay at home mom after being laid off from my work from home tech support job of 5 years last year. With 3 kids including a set of 2 year old twins it’s hard to work outside of the home. Money is tighter than ever. What I miss more than anything is the independence that comes with having my own income.
I started a new small business to keep me mentally stimulated but even the costs to maintain it feels like it’s not worth it sometimes - all in all this whole thing circles back to money. I’m hoping for a way to make things work without me finding a job. Things are covered for the house and family by my husband but I have to list all the things I need in order to be included in those costs/budget month to month and I feel bad for having to ask.
The impact of knowing I used to be able to care for myself for years and now that I have to depend on my husband for my otherwise basic needs makes me feel infantile.
another CLASSIC video from Cheyenne!!!! Your editing style, creatvity, research, and writing never ceases to amaze me! Thank you for the educational nourishment!!
Loved the hell out of your history segment. Well done!
I'm going to retell some historical stories without any footnotes, so view them as parables if you wish.
Many working class women of many races would be stuck doing the housework while working outside the home. For example, there were women who worked in British coal mines alongside their husband and children, and when the family returned home, the husband would put up their feet, the children would be children, and what would the mom/wife do? The fucking chores.
Asking men to participate in 'feminine' tasks and men refusing is nothing new. A particularly illustrative story comes from the early 1800s. After the successful genocidal efforts forced the Narragansett tribe of Rhode Island to adapt white culture or starve, most of the traditional male roles/jobs completely vanished. Farming was womans' work, you see. Many Narragansett men, rightfully struggling with their place in the wake of cultural annihilation, were reluctant to step into the 'woman's sphere'. As a result, many Narraganset women, fed up with not having the support they wanted, started marrying white and black men, who did not have the cultural hang-ups that Narragansett men had.
That's crazy stuff
The more I learn about the US and A
the happier I am
to be living far far away.
I have a lot of autonomy compared to other young women with children. I chose to only have one child and I have my own subsidized housing under my name, nobody else is in my household. But I still depend on my kids dad for a lot. I could never handle being a single mother. I don't know how I could go on without my child either. So in some ways I am very much forced to depend on the father. Especially because I have no family who isn't elderly, lives 100s miles away, stuck in an abusive household, addicted to drugs, or who has a serious personality disorder (couldn't pay me to sit in the same room with my sociopathic mom for 5 minutes.) It could be a lot worse and I'm grateful to be able to say I don't depend on someone else to house me or buy food, etc. But the workload of child care is not something I could handle alone. Props to those who found a way to somehow make it work. I honestly wish I had that within myself, but I don't. At the very least, having just one child, I know they will be self sufficient sooner rather than later. Hopefully I look back on these days and can take a sigh of relief that it's over forever. Nobody should ever be pressured into having kids. It's not enjoyable (for everyone, it's not for me) and it's not some easy innate thing that just happens the way some people like to preach it is.
you never miss. every video so topical, well researched & thought out, & interesting!!
thank you so much for making this! your style of presentation of the info is perfect, i appreciate how much work went into collecting the research & resources & how you laid it out so clearly! your voice is also really smooth & pleasant! my adhd brain is extremely grateful for everything 🙏
My husband stays at home with our baby until he'll turn 18 months when we decided he'll go to daycare. I make more money, I like my job more, and I wanted a kid less, so it just made sense. I think I get the good end of the stick and that he has a harder job. I would have not considered having a kid with someone that would not support me working and wouldn't at least take half of the load. If that meant no kids and a bunch of dogs and cats, then so be it.
You need another husband? 😂
Interestingly I don't think the trad-wife trend has really kicked off in the UK. I've known plenty of stay at home mums, but I almost never encounter people who think being a stay at home mum is some sort of moral imperative. I even think a lot of the far-right influencers from the UK get most of their audience from the US anyway. The trad wife thing probably doesn't perform so well in the UK mostly because Christianity is dying rapidly in the UK, and the major Christian branch in the UK is the Church of England which is usually more soft-right Conservative than Fascist. Conservatives in the UK do a lot better appealing to Ayn Rand style libertarians and xenophobes rather than appealing to the religious base, although the anti-trans thing has been pushed a lot more in recent years, and even then it's not gotten as bad as it is in certain States in the US.
Trad-wife live appeals to Mormons and Christians and since the Us has large populations of both that’s why it’s gaining more traction over here
I work with a family that the mother works and the father is a SAHF. The mom was able to get a really good paying job she could do from home so they could both be home for their disabled son in case of an emergency, but the father does the bulk of childcare and cooks and cleans. They are a lovely family and it works for them. It really annoys me when people don't care about what works for the family and want to force a certain dynamic onto people.
I’m a SAHM and I wish I could watch this video but I am not in the right mindset for it. I just know it will depress me even further. Commenting and liking to boost it, though. Thank you for making it and I’ll return to watch it soon ❤
I'm like this with videos sometimes where I'm not in the right mindset to listen, so I just mark it as watch later lol.
I've seen friends forced to be SAHM because their jobs earned less than childcare costs and friends who wish they could be SAHMs but can't afford not to work. It's super frustrating. It seems like it's hard for women to actually get to choose the path they want.
Growing up in the 2000s, my mom was both a workaholic and the main breadwinner of the house. She had a hard time raising me and my sister, it didn't help that my stepdad. He felt like she was raising a third kid.
My stepdad did work, but he was always losing work due to mental illness, which my mom got onto him about constantly.
For people who might be interested in learning more about these topics:
"Emotional Labor" by Rose Hackman (great intro book on the subject)
"Revolution at Point Zero: Housework, Reproduction, and Feminist Struggle" by Silvia Federici (talks about domestic labor on a more global scale)
Watching this while I wfh with my newborn and wanted to let you know she was watching too haha! Kept her calm while I warmed her bottle
People peddling Nara as tradwife is so annoying at this point and it is obvious they are using her as a way to get clicks while deliberately misrepresenting her, something about it is so smelly and the stench is giving some misogynoir.
Both her and her husband have jobs, they both share houshold responsibilities, and childcare responsibilities, the only reason people think she is a trad wife is because she cooks, and records the recipes and posts them in conjunction with her religion. Nothing about this is traditional.
In the same breath people still have the sexist gall to call her a bad mother for not spending every waking moment of her life with her kids, as if spending 20 minutes prepping and combining ingredients for food is going kill her children, meanwhile she has a LITERAL HUSBAND the FATHER of those children.
Even if she wanted to vacation for a couple days away from her kids she is well within that right, she does not stop being a person because she had tiny humans.
RUclipsr Madisyn Brown also defends Nara in her recent video Resurgence of Tradwives (something along that title).
I know sometimes the way Nara frames things, such as "my kids wanted x for lunch so I lovingly handcrafted something the average person would never think to hand craft", rubs people the wrong way HARD. I think its because they aren't recognizing Nara as WORKING, doing this not just for her kids but also as content. I sincerely doubt Nara thinks she is better than other moms, or other moms love their kids less, because she can hand make cocoa puff cereal.
Anyway, great comment
@@elizabethcassidy8082 that is not a valid argument, making food or basic pantry items from scratch is not something difficult, the cast majority of the people that find issue with her making things from scratch are from a certain country.
The average person has likely made tons of foods like breads, pasta's, cereals etc from scratch for their children, the usa is not the standard for the world.
Not to mention Nara has eczema, as someone with eczema who has had multiple debilitating flare ups as a result of food sensitivities, my mum had to watch everything she put into my food to be cautious of what could cause or caused a flare up.
In my case this was meticulous work of trying different recipes that were different to those she typically made, which were the easiest recipes to make, that are taught to little kids in cooking class.
Even without all this specific work, the only reason it rubs people the wrong way is because their own inferiority complexes. Someone making dough for bread and other yummy recipes shouldnt have your panties in a twist.
@@pearlcnrdI agree with your final paragraph. However, the rest of your comment has me feeling unnecessarily defensive.
Nara is, I believe, an American woman, and this video is speaking to an American context. I am also an American woman.
I am rather prickly with your assertion that making from scratch is easy, that has *never* been my experience. It is disincentivized here as it is a major time sink. This is a cultural problem.
Mmm it could be that they're Mormon, not gonna lie that religion is so racist and sexist that it immediately pisses me off. Thats all I can think of otherwise I just see her as like a cooking show.
@@elizabethcassidy8082 Nara is a South African German woman, the criticism of her content is not only speaking to an american context because again the usa is not the norm nor the standard.
The only reason I could think of as to why you would feel unnecessarily defensive is because you are surprised that many people across the world can and do make things from scratch without much difficulty.
Or the comparison of children being able to be taught these recipes. I think you may have to analyse why her making things from scratch, or making things her kids may have wanted is so upsetting to you.
Nara has already said she does not do this everyday, because baking and making certain foods and treats every single day is not realistic for the average person, so I do not understand the upset.
I think that you and other people who may see things your way have been groomed into thinking that cooking is the job of women, or maybe you unfortunately grew up in a sexist houshold and this was expected of you, and as a result not cooking or baking feels like giving a giant fuck you to those who may have hurt you.
Thus seeing a woman cooking and be quite adept at it feels weird and you automatically assume the reasons why are that she is putting on a facade and is being forced to do so, along with many other sexist duties.
When this actually isn't the case, it seems your offense comes from the upset of possibly being forced to these things, and the incorrect assumption that she does this everyday so portrayed by people who expected you to do these.
Which comes back to my main point, this video and many other videos are misrepresenting Nara as something she is very obviously not, and due to their inferiority complexes are upset she can do these things.
I love your use of statistics! It's incredible. And your ability to look at this pretty holistically. I haven't watched the whole video yet so I can't really comment on who is not included. Your perspective is quite well-studied. Wow.
one of the best and most comprehensive analyses of this entire phenomenon, thank you! still recovering from the tradwife gaslighting as a new mom who's also neurodivergent ... it's 😵💫
One of my favorite channels
I'm only in the beginning of the video, but I can't help but ask why stay-at-home mums tend to have more than one child? I imagine managing one kid and a household is already difficult enough, so why get to the point of having 3 to 4 children? Are birth control or condoms not a thing?
What would be the benefits of just having one child?
@@BeingBetter What's the benefit of having 4?
@@carriesnaps3508 Can't answer my question, I see.
@@BeingBetter Because it's not a serious question. If you think that raising one child while managing a whole household it's the same amount of labour as raising four or more children than there's no point in furthering this conversation.
because of the lower education and socially conservative overlap. higher earning families generally have less children.
Unrelated to the subject, i wanted to mention how nice you look in this video. I really like your earrings. The information provided is detailed and thoughtful. Thank you for your labor.
Thank you so much for this video, I am so tired and you've expressed everything so eloquently :)
This is super relevant to me this week. ❤ (send help, lol)
I'm very much a proponent of traditional marriage. My wife and I have lived this way for 16 years (13 with a son) and we're both very glad we did, especially considering what government schools have been trying to get away with lately.
Why is Nara Smith in the thumbnail? She's said and shown that both she and her husband work and share the household/childcare duties.
Could be because she is a recognizable face in the space thus getting people to click on it.
Could be that the author didn't see those vids
Could be that author is using Nara to prove that sharing does happen.
Either way, glad you asked that question!
Every single video that includes her is always to take a dig at her despite her family dynamic obviously not being traditional.
Idk why I can't shake the feeling that it has something to do with misogynoir.
Although she's probably not conservative herself, her curated image on social media aligns with the tradwife movement, wherein highly privileged women preform domestic labor as a means of glamorizing being a SAHM.
I think most of the criticism stems from her setting bizarre and unrealistic expectations for moms. A lot of women, esp if not secure in being a mom can compare themselves and feel like they're not competent moms. It doesn't help that Nara only shows the pretty side of being a mom. Hence, why people call it tradwife propoganda. Also, Nara is aligning with a religion that has done a lot of harm for women. Specifically in what jobs they're allowed to have and what roles they should have. She may not practice Mormonism but considering the racism/sexism the Mormon church aligned with, it's very strange.
Also, these tradwives on Tiktok aren't traditional, they're just fortunate enough to be well off, have housekeepers/nannies to watch there kids while spending hours a day filming. So it's mostly an aesthetic.
Sorry if that was a lot to read but there's def more to it, this is the best way I can condense it.
@@pearlcnrd Seriously you said it perfectly, I find it really odd. Out of the plethora of examples of SAHM/Tradwife content creators, videos discussing such topics always feel the need to attach her to it based on how she presents herself without even knowing her family life.
Oddly enough the best examples of "traditional families" are almost always nearly evenly split on work, authority, and finances, whether they thought they were or not.
This may be an example of people thinking that looks trad-wifey, but it really isn't because that's the only way that the trad "look" can work.
To the “they don’t have to be strangers” comment towards sending your kids to school; Realistically, a lot of parents don’t have time to make these bonds and relationships, also, in the United States, a lot of people don’t even like to socialize, especially in big cities. And what, I could still build a relationship with my child’s teacher and realize I don’t like them and don’t want my child to have this person as their authority figure or role model, then what? You can’t just switch schools because most public schools require you live in that school zone.
And let’s be real here, the school system in the US is still extremely conservative.
That song Mr Sandman is such an unintentionally creepy song.
Ah well, perfect music to accompany this disillusionment presentation.
One thing we don’t hear about is institutionalized misogyny. Here in the USA, so many girls are told they can be “anything” but at the same time, school counselors and society in general only provide “teacher”, “nurse”, “caregiver” as options. There need to be more women in tech and trades such as plumbing, construction etc. That’s where the money is.
I agree but that's not an issue with misogyny. The men that are in those fields succeeded because they wanted to. It's something they like doing. Skill based jobs are filled with people passionate about said skills. I dont see many women/girls even interested in STEM, especially after college. Everybody got an uncle that fix stuff around the house for the family. Women have known for quite sometime that they could be doctors and engineers. There's no one stopping them anyone. And if you can be stopped, then you will. That's life, men face that fact daily. Assert yourself. Women are what they want to be, so much we encourage them to want to be things that typically make more money. If we talking where the money is, the current female construction workers and STEM aren't doing a good job compared to the likes of IG Modeling and Onlyfans. We can say men stop spending money on women this way, but men aren't complaining about respect in the workplace.
Very well researched. Thank you ❤❤
My husband works from 5am until 5pm with an hour commute each way. Those weeks where he works Saturdays are absolutely brutal. Thankfully we bought a house triangulated by bus stops so when the kids get a little older we’ll be able to get around while he has the car. Even now there are three playgrounds and a splash pad in stroller walking distance so we don’t have it nearly as bad as other stay at home moms. Of course maybe I only fought so hard for a walkable home because I’m a college educated white mom who is used to going full Karen when she doesn’t get her way.
Anyway DO NOT BE A STAY AT HOME GIRLFRIEND. Get that ring or get rid of the man. You don’t get social security as a stay at home girlfriend. :/ married you don’t get much but you still get much more protections financially.
OH YOU’RE TALKING!!
I had to quit my job because i was technically part time. They didnt have maternity leave for me. After my child turned one my other sahm friend would watch my child for me (ofc i paid her) she had to stop doing that and get a better paying job. So im forced to be a sahm. We cant afford childcare and we make too much for government assistance. I hate how this is not just my story but the norm. How effed up
hi, i love your videos but i am photosensitive and the flicker effect in the background of the slides in this video make it unwatchable for me, i apologize, but is there any way you could avoid flicker effects in the future? i understand if this is too much to ask.
thank you so much for this video 💞 sorry i dont have any energy to give my own two cents haha. sending you my blessings 😊
Little surprised that you didn't mention that SAHP (Moms and Dads) are not counted into Social security.
What do you mean
@lee_rayyy58 It is complicated. The way social security works is it is calculated from your payroll. SAHP aren't on payroll, thus the only way a SAHP gets social security is via their spouse.
Social Security benefits are paid to eligible spouses and children if the working spouse becomes disabled, dies or retires. Great, but why isn't it possible for them to contribute/collect in their own name? Other countries do that just fine.
@@elizabethcassidy8082Loophole: file a business (like an LLC) under your state's government website and be officially employed part-time or full-time doing something from home. You can follow the cottage economy and sell baked goods or crafts, or you can sell digital labor, etc. It has to be a legitimate business for self-employment when filing for tax season. Then your spouse can hand you money for the supposed product or service. Boom, you're employed as a SAHM mom whether you're actually providing a service or simply taking the money. The math just needs to make sense at the end of the year. You won't make enough income for it to seem questionable as long as the books add up.
My husband does residential home remodeling (mostly windows), and he started a business under my name since I do help him with advertising, bookkeeping, and reminders/organizing. We're friends with an older couple that does the same thing. It's worked well for them for almost three decades now.
Oh geez. I have been BOTH a trad SAHM & a successful career mother. My CHOICE to stay home. I raised my kids to be independent thinks & become educated. The women have followed a similar path. My son’s wife is a SAHM - SHE IS A LIBERAL! My neighbors are multi racial & are mostly SAHMs & they LOVE it. They are thrilled to be staying home. Some have jobs at home. This is so one sided.
Agreed.
it's either being a stay-at-home mom but don't get much money or find a way to make it work being a working mom but stressing out on not being there for your kids but it's the only way to be financially stable which is really painful for mothers who have to make those painful choices
kindof best of both worlds? I couldn't earn enough full time to pay for daycare full time, so I got a part time job, and my spouse got a later shift job. He was home with baby/kids in the AM, took them to story time at the library, appts, etc I got home after lunchtime and he went to work and I was home for the afternoon/evening. It was hard! At least we had weekends... he was able to change back to normal shift/work hours when the kids were all in school.
It's interesting that the topic of domestic labor performed by women was specifically the theme of the essay for the brazilian national high school exam (the biggest exam in the country) last year
Love the video - quick note Sojourner Truth never said “ Ain’t I A Woman ?”. Her first language was Dutch and a white woman didn’t think she sounded “ black enough” and changed the record of the speech to satisfy her stereotypes of black women…. It was a disgusting and racist retelling of history.
Thanks
I thought this was a pretty good video, but I wish there had been a little more focus on the way that alienation in the male labor market and stagnant wages for men also contributes to the situation mothers are in. Sort of how men’s and women’s roles in capitalism interact in this way. I know this video was focused on mothers, but I think we also have to acknowledge that there are a lot of men who want to help their wives more, but they are working 60+ hours a week and struggling. For those women who are SAHM and low income who discussed feeling alone, the general conversation about all wages needing to keep up comes into question. If the employers of these overworked husbands paid better wages with realistic health and vacation benefits, they could be better contributors to their households without sacrificing pay. Of course women should be paid more/there should be no pay gap for equal work (and many of the videos other points) but I feel this whole video would’ve benefitted from a bit more exploration in to how even men that are aware of the issues face many challenges, some systemic and some personal, to actually overcome the problems of unequal labor in their families.
Exactly. Men are overworked, over stressed and have to deal with the brunt of public life on a daily basis, when they work outside the home full time. You can’t deny the damage that does.
THANK YOU! It's a clear cause and effect, no overarching plot. It's about what's best for the child. Men don't get help working those 60+ hours and for the techies we work and study outside of work just to keep our jobs. We are comparing this to household chores that would be done regardless. Women could clearly go back to work, men never have that option. We can help around the house but it drains. There's only so much time in the day. Why even have a child if we're just going to complain about how seemingly unbalanced our roles are. We are comparing taking care of children to the demands of customers in the workplace. I'm sorry but it's not even close. Even in the workplace, the price of a maid does not compare to the salary of an engineer or doctor. The value is NOT the same.
It would have been nice if you included how mothers of disabled children are failed by society due to the lack of support and the poorly managed disability system and how it often causes moms to put their children in institutions and group homes which have horrible conditions no one should live under and how disabled parents both female and male often have their children taken away by cps or some other agency due to society's belief that people with disabilities can't take care of children because they lack the mental capacity to do so even though that is not true.
Cheyenne, I enjoyed your video. It's quite erudite. Do you have a background in economics, sociology, or demographics?
Hi, Sojourner Truth DID NOT say, "Ain't I a woman." That was a bad translation from a white liberal.
I never really had a problem with tradwives until conservatives turned into political agendas. The most controversial yet was Estee William discouraging people from going to college, which is harmful due to the fact that if her audiences apply it to themselves or, worse, their female children, then it will be hard to break out of, especially if they are dependent on someone and got pregnant at a young age.
Do you not think that motherhood on its own deserves as much as going out of the house work?
I swear every negative cultural movement is followed by “you can thank Ronald Reagan” lol
great video!
Ever notice corporate politicians and many "population concern" videos
Show more concern over the state of the economy
than they do the condition of the people?
When I was younger, I assumed going people who stay at home moms we’re just rich people really
I got married a couple years ago and my husband was in the army and when I moved down here to be with him, we decided I would stay at home because it just made more sense and we could afford for me to stay home and I really wanted to spend time with my daughter But as time went on I realize why so many people do it because it’s incredibly hard to find people to babysit and on top of it daycare down here even on base daycare is insanely expensive and the pay in the state is terrible. You really have to sit there and do the math and figure out if you’re gonna even make a profit if you pay for daycare
Fast forward to now I’m running into that same problem again where I can’t find anyone to babysit people tell me I’m not offering enough. I told my husband last night if we can’t find someone to babysit I’m just gonna have to work less or stay home again.
Thanks for this timely video. I watched a video on Maiden Mother Matriarch channel about conservative views on POC, and I made a critique.
It seems like there’s a lot of people who want to go back to segregation since solving the issues in society is too much.
The trad wife life needs domestic servants who are pressured into that position and don’t get paid (enough) which points to black women taking the burden.
Project 2025 plans on making that nightmare a reality in order to increase the population.
Can you go over the burdens of caring for aging elderly parents & grandparents in America?
As a female, House Spouse, I just deeply wish familial and community care work did matter more, and was venerated at an appropriate level. Lots of people, regardless or gender, enjoy 'domestic' work and all of our communities would benefit if working class people could take YEARS away from work for childcare, elder care, sick partner care....its actually really nice to be able to care for your own children/parents if you want to. From my perspective, its only the upper middle class and wealthy who can afford this thus MANY more choose this. And making it accessible to people, regardless of gender, would help balance the sexism in families where both partners work.
Hi Cheyenne! I hope you don't mind me asking but are you on Facebook by any chance?
I'm with the tradwives. And I don't really think either side is literally trying to force the other to either be/not be one, but they disagree on what most people *should* be doing and what's more likely going to make them happy long-term.
Wish this video existed before the 2023 brazilian ENEM , it was the theme of the essay...
another banger!
Mika's Rhetoric just made a video about this topic.
20:18 - Anna Jarvis
27:14 - wow
The only difference is nobody says to SAH dads "what will you do if your partner dies or gets sick?" Because they have confidence that men are capable of adapting to life - and for some reason women aren't. Women are apparently incapable of change and acquiring skills outside of the house past a certain age. Let's scrap that fearmongering. A stay at home mom is a pillar of society and fully capable of tackling any hurdle life throws at her, whether or not she does life work or career work.
*military spouses have entered the chat*
Did I just see "Real women support patriarchy"?!?!?!?!?!?! JFC.
Thank you I love you ugh so much
Oh
BASED 😎👍
on facts.
havent seen it yet, but we split the work about 60% husband, 40% wife. works well 🤷🏻♂️
When talking about history it's important to stress middle class or upper class white women benefited. Else it suggests that solely being white is and was enough ignoring the fundamental role of class and simplifying the argument as literally black and white.
If you want a stay at home wifey you better make good "stay at home" money!
Depends on what you mean by "good". My wife and I have lived this way for 16 years now with a kid and we're far from rich.
❤❤
This is sooo depressing
Exactly what the world needs more of -- breaking down all unities between people! What, you thought there were meaningful relationships in this world? Think again, we're actually all just atomic independent entities.