@ReginaBerg90 And vice versa. Think about this a little bit. How would you feel if a woman were to be in the boys restroom or mens restroom where he was...???
@@traviskalmoni If you are referring to a female as in a trans man then there is never an issue, simply because they aren't looking to be problematic. However you have a think about it?
We need to understand that there are people who get off on making people uncomfortable, some men like making women feel uncomfortable. Not everyone has good or innocent intentions
Bingo. That's where auto-gynephiles and predators come into the equation: It can't be ignored like it has been by the transgender community which is why I am so happy to see Alexis calling it out.
If they don’t participate in the third category trans then they don’t participate at all or go back to men’s category. You don’t get to enter the female category
I live in Alaska and that man in the locker room has several charges for flashing, groping women and peeping into windows long before he said he was trans. He is a predator plain and simple and has been for years. The cops are very familiar with him. He gets excited viewing the ladies.
I saw another video on this where another woman claimed that he had previously kept calling staff in while he was in the shower and exposing himself! This is really scary stuff and would be a criminal offence in any other setting
All we need to do is look at the statistics involving sexual &/or violent crimes committed by predators claiming to be trans - maybe they are, maybe they’re not.The majority of transgender people simply want to get on with their lives but they are often “tarred with the same brush”.
I find anyone who is truely trans honestly looks for ways to not make people uncomfortable. That man is getting off on making young girls and women uncomfortable.
The man was shaving his beard in the women’s locker room with a young girl in there who looked terrified. This isn’t right. It’s just not. The thing is I would have absolutely no problem with you in the women’s bathroom! Honestly, I know just by looking at you that you pose no threat to women, just like I know by looking at that man that he does pose a threat to women. Something is not right with him, something is very very wrong.
Exactly. When they look like Alexis Blake, or Blaire White, it's not a big deal. They pass as women to those that don't know they're trans, heck if I didn't watch their videos, I wouldn't know, but the ones that claim they're trans, but don't even bother trying to look like a woman, like the dude shaving, especially when they're dressed in men's clothing and shaving, you can tell, which males us uncomfortable. Could be a pervert. I'm fine with trans women that look feminine in the women's restroom, but the ones that don't make any effort, nope cause they are probably autogynephelic, or a pervert.
Bathrooms are very different from changing/showers/locker rooms. I don't believe that women and girls should get changed/showered in front of someone born male.
I think a big part of the problem is that we allow self-ID and require no actual transition. I wish we could just expect people to use common sense and courtesy but we can't. I appreciate you saying we need to start discussing real solutions. We can't have a blanket rule that either all of none of the trans people are allowed in spaces. This is becoming a much more nuanced topic.
I agree, this didn't use to be an issue until self ID was introduced... have you followed what is happening in Spain? Quite a few men who are not trans at all (don't even change their birth name) change sex on ID just to access Spain's laws that support women. It's a country that has reached many benefits attributed to women due to their strong feminist base so laws that are supposed to be encouraging or benefiting women can now be very easily abused. And women who complain or misgender non transitioning men (those who don't even plan to transition in the future), can get fined thousands of euros.
It really is the idea that "MY comfort matters even if EVERYONE ELSE is made uncomfortable". The narcissism is palpable. It's crazy that we are asked to let narcissists get automatic veto on policies in our lives. I am beyond sick of it. I watch Alexis and Blair and others to remind myself that there are normal transwomen who just want to get along.
YES!!! a third locker room, a third sport category that way everybody is comfortable. And you're right it's not the trans people that make me uncomfortable. It's the predators who pretend to be trans that worry me. You see a guy like that in the locker room or the bathroom and you get very very nervous
That only works in theory. There have been third options presented in multiple spaces, and there have been people who have willingly chosen not to use them.
@@keshiasmith175 Yes, that's been the problem. They refuse to use the third option, and have sued many businesses and schools for requiring them to use the third space. It needs to be written into law. Write the third spaces as needed into the building code. And write into law that all gender bending be kept to the gender neutral spaces.
Thank you for covering this. We’re struggling with a lot of people claiming they’re trans to get into women’s spaces. There’s a man that was screaming at a person at the gym in a trucker hat, full grown out to almost the chest beard, that they can identify as a female to get access to women’s spaces. It was scary to see. And knowing there was an undressed adolescent in that locker room at PF is terrifying.
When you said “misogynistic” my jaw dropped! You are such a wise lady! This is exactly what I have been saying about trans women that totally ignore the feelings of biological women. It’s a “only my feelings matter” type of attitude. This is exactly what the women’s movement has fought against for decades when it comes to being discounted by cis men in the past. The irony seems to be lost on some folks.
the sad thing is that she will get harrassed and called a TERF for that one statement. It's not transphic to say men having free rein in womens spaces is uncomfortable, shocking sometimes and makes women and children unsafe. It's not okay. Alexis in the bathroom - yes. This guy - no.
It's the ultimate height of mysoginy: men are so much better than women at everything that they even make better women than women! Disclaimer to say obviously I don't think all trans women believe or act like they believe that, but it so often seems to be the statement behind a lot of this debate.
Yes! Shout out to Alexis! I love to hear her perspective, because it's balanced and respectful. I also loved that she always referred to this man as they and not she.
It's for the kick. The kick of transgression and the provocation and the closeness to women and girls. They enjoy it. With other men it's not fun and at home it's lonely. They are gross.
I would not have felt safe in that changing room with that person shaving. There is nothing feminine about them! To be fair, I have a deep fear of men, so I'd probably feel very uncomfortable with anybody who exudes male energy in the changing rooms. Everybody has a right to feel safe. I would feel safe with you, Alexis, because you exude female energy.
I feel like that's the main difference. I would be okay with trans women who struggle to pass being in the locker room with me if they actually had that feminine energy about them. Some of these people pushing themselves into women's spaces seem to have no idea what it is like to feel vulnerable as a woman in this world. And this is coming from a woman who works in a male-dominated field and is confident in her self defense skills. Even with that confidence I would feel vulnerable and uncomfortable with males being in the locker room, because ultimately I shouldn't feel like I might *need* to defend myself against men in women's spaces.
@@elenawilliams32 passing is also just feminizing yourself if you're a trans woman, shave, do your hair, your nails, sure it might take time or maybe u cant afford feminization surgeries. But you can do things to "feminize" yourself. Also passing is about energy. Men have a very noticeably different posture from women. Passing isnt just about looks like most think, its also about energy. The same can also be applied to trans men.
@@Sweet-cavity If a transwoman passes, we won't clock them so no problem. The problem is exactly what happened at planet fitness, our private female spaces are no longer private. We are always on alert , the showers/ changing rooms are a no go area. Less than 5% get rid of their lower genitalia... The one thing that women don't ever have! Do you understand why us women feel like we're losing our rights to privacy, modesty, comfort, decency and safety? I'd like to say only passing transwomen can use our bathrooms but that's discrimination against non passing... So females lose all around.
I do too. The problem is most trans people don't actually just want a "safe and comfortable space". They want AFFIRMATION!!!!!! I live in the St. Louis area and there were a couple of schools here that had transwomen (2 boys who have not done ANY physical transitioning, but dressed as girls). The principal set up some private changes spaces outside of the boys locker room for them. Next thing you know there are news stories about the "Discrimination" they were dealing with because of that.
As a trans woman myself, I would never use a gendered changing room unless there was private cubicles. With makeup on I look pretty feminine but I'm aware of what I look like without clothes versus make-up and feminine clothes and I would NEVER dream of shaving, or even being around other people so they can see my body like that guy was, I would be uncomfortable, disphoric and constantly aware of how uncomfortable everyone else was, it would be hell. I don't understand how (he?) they could stand there like that shaving a beard and arguing with someone telling you they're uncomfortable! Like why would you not have shaved before the gym at the very least?!
I truly believe "he" gets off on doing what he did. Makes him powerful, because women can't stop him. I would expect trans persons WANT to blend in. There was nothing female about him and he didn't give a damn.
Women are not choosing to have an issue with using same spaces as trans women but when people who label themselves as trans but look very much like a man we cant helpbut feel instinctively unsafe and uncomfortable. I dont have a problem with trans women but I do have a problem when biological womens safety and comfortably is put 2nd to someone who claims to be trans but shows no evidence of being anything other than a man in the womens locker room.
I totally agree with you but just one correction, being trans isn't the same as transitioning and transitioning isn't the same as being trans. Trans is an identity, transitioning is the process of changing gender / sex. Binary trans people, which are trans men and trans women, almost always transition, nonbinary trans people or genderfluid trans people don't always transition.
I'm a trans man and look fully 100% male with a full beard. I love to swim and go to the hot pool. I travel and never know what to expect. I call and ask before I go. Even though I fully pass I will never go in the mens locker room. If there are no "family" changing rooms, I wont go back or I go ready to swim and go home wet. As a parent, I also know that in the locker room there are little boys and teenage boys that run around naked, they dont need to have a bio female in their space. RESPECT!
Do you believe that other trans men are also doing this? They seem to be relatively quiet about this whole thing and I wonder why that is. I wish more would speak out and call this stuff out as they are witnessing it. Thank you by the way for being respectful of others around you, I wish this was common for everyone.
@@blackharvest13 all the ones that I know are. The people seen in the very public eye are mostly "activists" trying to get noticed. As Alexis said here, people that suffer with gender dysphoria just want to live as close to "normal" as possible. I have a lot of Trans woman friends as well, and none of them would do any of the stuff seen in the social media.
I've never gone in a changing room that doesn't have cubicles. I'm not trans but I don't like getting fully undressed in front of others so I always use them! If trans people who pass did the same (if they've not had bottom surgery) I wouldn't even know 🤷♀️ but much respect to you for your selflessness and care.
@@Peacefulpreface6323 the planet fitness locker/changing/showers only have a shower curtin and no privicy other than that. I was trying out membership and canceled due to that as my main issue.
I think theres a lot of missing the point in the comments to be 'nice'. This guy didn't claim to be trans, he said he was Q/LGB being Q/LGB is nothing to do with trans as its about sexual orientation and kink. Gay and bisexual men aren't allowed in womens spaces so this is no different to that. It was bad enough being in the ladies loos when i was younger in a mixed gay bar with misogynistic drags coming in and giving looks of disrespect to my lesbian friend and myself, IMHO this is no different. A woman with PCOS and facial hair or a butch lesbian is a totally different thing, they will still be noticeably female and the lesbian would definitely not want the dude in there either.
I know lots of heterosexual females who are uncomfortable with butch lesbians but will never say it out loud. I think sexuality matters. If you like women that’s a male sexuality and a threat. Most women would rather use the restroom with Kim Petra’s then Lea Delaria. It’s just said between straight women so you’ve probably never heard it lol
It is quite hurtful, as you mentioned, that it is always the biological men that do not pass at all intruding on women's spaces. There is never any consideration from these people towards the fact that women are often afraid of men being in such intimate spaces for safety reasons. I think any person who was truly a woman, including trans women, would have respect and understanding for this. To me, it just feels like these men want to intrude on spaces because they feel entitled to everything, or because they prefer the female facilities (like perhaps the mirror was cleaner in the women's bathroom in this case). It seems so selfish. That person did not show an inkling of femininity, you can't just proclaim to be female without putting in the work and showing respect to biological women.
You just defined the problem: you CAN. Self identified, remember ... Sadly (for true transwomen and society as a whole), this self identifying makes it possible for predators, other sexual deviants and mentally unstable attention seeking individuals to not only infiltrate the transcommunity, but to also influence public opinion about transgenders in a really, really, really bad way. 😠😭
He is with a child that is not his biological child in a towel, in a female locker room, on his own. In any other situation he would be legally in trouble for child preditation. I would have called the police and had him charged. If that was my child, he would need to run very fast and very far…I would be suing planet fitness if I was that child’s parent. A child’s safety must always come first. That man can fend for himself
Definitely. In scotland there have been at least 2 sex offenders who committed crimes against women and children who say theyre women in the hope of going to a womens prison. Genuine trans women are also at risk from these men.
@stcntymcfckoff5805 yep! Ian Huntley apparently "discovered a trans identity" in prison but thankfully was recognised as presenting too significant a risk to women to be moved to a female prison
There was an arrest today at one of the planet gyms. Dreadlocked, bearded, identifying as a woman, dude. Stripped off and was parading around swinging his dingaling, he refused to stop so the police were called and finally did the right thing.
Here's something I would love for Alexis and Liam to talk about and dissect: 1.) Is "LGBQ" trans? 2.) How does someone identifying as gay, bi, or queer, give them access to female spaces? 3.) Does simply dressing in women's clothing, or makeup, make one, trans? I mean, isn't that simply being a cross dresser? Do cross-dressers have rights to female spaces?
1) Perhaps. The Q usually stands for "queer" (but in some cases "questioning") which means "weird", so it could in theory refer to anything considered abnormal. 2) It doesn't. 3) No. Yes. Yes, if they're female.
I'm a trans woman and I just joined planet fitness and I have no intention of using their locker rooms. I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable or do I want to have to be confronted by someone who says I don't belong there. So I will just shower and change at home. I fear running into someone that confronts me to the point where they cause a scene.
Well, with the number of women who have canceled their memberships and are boycotting Planet Fitness, you should have the women's locker room all to yourself. Thanks for being that one misogynist who claims to be a woman but does not support women. If you honestly consider yourself a woman, find yourself another gym. Solidarity, "sister!" 🤨
They should have gender neutral changing rooms provided for you, it's not fair to put people at odds with each other! Profit above all seems to be their motto......
I grew up in California, and we had trans and gay students. It was no secret. And most of them used the girls bathroom for safety. Including non-trans male gay students. 90% of the girls were cool with this, because we got it, they would get picked on and harrassed. But... there are people pretending... it is a totally different vibe. It's only happened a few times, were someone trans appearing came in, and felt wrong, didn't feel trans...and we didn't feel safe so we left. That person wasn't using the space, they were intruding in the space, they were there to show they could be, it's very male... and makes me think they aren't trans at all.
I grew up in California.. San Francisco to be exact and I never had the experience you speak of.. men, transgender never used the female locker rooms until recently passed laws.. u must be in your early 20s
Sexuality definitely matters. Someone like Blaire White is not a sexual threat to females. She’s actually more likely to be a victim of sexual assault then be a perp. The “trans lesbians” like Lia Thomas are a whole different breed! They are sexually the same as straight men!
Ah but were they actually ‘cool’ with it? Or could they have been too afraid to speak up? There are ramifications for girls/women who disagree with this. Plus there is a huge difference between teen trans and full grown entitled males in the change room.
My mom is a recently retired teacher assistant she said the trans students were allowed to use the handicapped bathrooms and a specific staff bathroom because they were both private bathrooms with no stalls, just a locking door.
Alexis you're such a solid and level headed voice for the trans community!! I hope you continue to gain popularity because more of the public needs to hear your view and your experiences to help shed light on what what it REALLY means to be trans! ❤ I feel disgusted that some "trans women" are casting such a shade on your community. 😢 We need more voices like you. ❤
Great video Alexis! Even being post op and having had a fair amount done, I am still terrified of being clocked as trans. I still have a beard that needs to be shaved and you wouldn't catch me dead doing it like that in the women's restroom. I don't understand the utter lack of respect that our community seems to show. Our comfortability shouldn't come at the expense of the majority of the population-with obviously some caveats to that because there's always some nuance that needs to be explored. What's really interesting too is that newly transitioning trans women (and even in some that have been transitioning for some time) are still so used to acting like a man. We were socialized as males and thus act like males more often than not, and what tends to happen is a sense of male entitlement. "I'm trans so I'm allowed to be here." That's the misogyny that our community doesn't want to acknowledge because it's not gender affirming, yet part of being affirmed in your gender is recognizing your own flaws and seeing how you need to unlearn certain behaviors.
Even as a biological woman, I get a bit of facial hair, not to mention elsewhere, and my goodness, you would not catch me dead shaving that in a public locker room or bathroom! It's just not something we women do. We don't like others to see our hair, it's embarrassing 😭
Can I point out the alleged language the person used? "Im queer LGB" isn't the same as "I'm a trans woman"! Why wouldn't they say they're trans? Why would they LGB? Because that could mean both gay and bi men!! The topic of dysphoria is the key here. My trans women friends would never have been caught dead shaving, not even around their female friends! Because being perceived as men at all is what feels uncomfortable for them. This person is very clearly not concerned with that. Which feels like its the signs of being AGP.
Well said, Kira! As a woman with PCOS, i wouldn't shave my face in public, full stop. I wish you joy in your transition, and best wishes for a happy life xx
Currently I am following your example Alexis. I still have beard shadow and don't wear makeup so I'd rather make myself uncomfortable than others. When I pass more then maybe I'll be more comfortable in the women's restroom.
Hi, Kelsie! I just wanted to wish you much good luck, happy days and solid well-being in your transition!! The world can't wait for you to be fully YOU....the world needs all of us to be healthy and happy and our best selves!!! Congratulations on making your journey!❤❤❤❤
If you don't wear makeup and have gone through male puberty you know that you look very masculine. You'll definitely figure out very quickly if you pass as you'll see women and girls clock you and be very alarmed. I'm glad you're taking Alexis's lead, if you don't pass, don't enter. I'm glad she mentioned that entitled misogyny. We can't tell the difference between AGP creeps or trans.
That may sound stupid, but to me you already pass because you respect biological women! I wish you luck with your transition :) Katia, from Russia with love hehe
Calling women who don’t want predators in their bathrooms and spaces Transphobic etc. is wrong. i have no problem with passing and looking like they are truly trying and just use a toilet and put on lippy cool. But super masc. or taking those weird creepy videos of i am in a woman’s bathroom is creepy and predatory. There is a line and that person at Planet Fitness crossed it.
I’m mid transition MtF. The biggest physical change is my B cup breast. It would be so inappropriate for me to go swimming or be in public shirtless and at the same time for me to walking into a woman’s space would also be totally inappropriate. Gender neutral spaces is the easiest answer.
Women need sex segregated spaces to feel safe from men. We fought for those spaces. Neutral spaces should exist for sure, but women's spaces also need to remain a thing.
Thank you!! “When the minority is making the majority uncomfortable, that is not ok” Also I don’t think it’s “confidence” - him shaving in the women’s locker room…it’s audacity.
3:25 soo true i was thinking arent they uncomfortable with the fact that they are making other people uncomfortable? how can this person be so unaware!? it definitley is selfish! also i love how trixie and katya came up at the start i love them haha
I never really thought about it before all of this blew up in the news and all over social medi, but I do have a theory. This is purely anecdotal because the last bit of real research I ever did was about barnacle settlement and zooplankton lol But this also goes along with what Alexis said about how we don't hear stories like this about trans men. I feel like women are generally more empathetic than men. We have a tendency to be more emotional in general. Alexis just talked about the changes in her emotional state when she introduced estrogen into her body, and how even now her emotions are a lot deeper than they were pre-transition. I feel like it's possible that some of the people who are presenting as male but claiming to be trans just don't have (or if they are actually transitioning) the same emotional depth. I'm not explaining what I mean very well, and I wish I could articulate it better. Of course there are plenty of empathetic men out there who are in touch with their emotions (but apparently testosterone levels are also on a severe decline in younger generations - coincidence? Or supporting evidence?). The attitude exhibited by the individual in the photo comes off as entitled, but maybe it's also in part due to a lack of emotional awareness. Maybe we don't see that from trans men because they have spent their lives developing as women, along with the hormones that push us into being the so-called "gentler sex." Also, when these videos are circulating of a trans person acting out aggressively or even violently, it's usually a trans woman and not a trans man. Men are usually more volatile and aggressive compared to most women. I didn't realize introducing estrogen into a male system could actually to some extent increase those responses like Alexis described, but maybe that has something to do with becoming more in tune with your emotions. That's very interesting. I know on the flip side of that, when a biological woman introduces testosterone, it makes them have increased aggression and more volatile anger as well. I know this because my ex (who is my best friend), was born female and transitioned. When they went on testosterone the nicest, kindest, most empathetic person I knew was suddenly cruel, indifferent, and angry. They said some really horrible things to me on the day my dog (who got me through severe, almost self-deleting depression as a teenager) died. It was something they never, ever would have said to me without having been going through the changes wrought by testosterone. Though I am happy to say they eventually balanced out and learned to handle the aggressive responses in a much more healthy manner.
At my gym, they have a hall behind the locker rooms with a row of separated bathrooms that have their own showers in it for parents and their kids. I always thought, why not build more separated bathrooms with showers so they have their own safe space with everything they need.
Incredibly well said. And it's all about common sense. I'm biologically female and have hormonal issues due to age and have to get rid of hair on random spots on my face. You wouldn't catch me dead doing that out for public viewing! The fact I'm even admitting that is a bit embarrassing but it's alot more common than many realize.
As a trans woman even after 8 years medically transitioning i still choose not to use the ladies locker rooms ( bathrooms are not as close and personal) i don't want to put myself into a situation that will draw attention to me , the thought of undressing in front of men in a mens locker room is scary , let alone in a ladies locker room, i also don't understand how any trans woman would want to shave her face in public in any situation!
"i don't want (...) ladies locker room" Same here... and I'm not even a trans woman. I wish there were separate stalls with toilets, showers and benches. But it would presumably be very expensive to install and maintain them. Especially if they had to fit children/disabled people with their parents/guardians//assistants. Those electric wheelchairs can be very large. Well, now that I can stay at home it's not a problem. But when I was a teenager and had to go to school (against my wishes)... yikes.
Alexis, I actually wrote a blog on this. The bathroom should be the sex in which you PRESENT, very clearly. Biological sex doesn't always work, in cases like yours, Blaire's, and Buck's for example. The people who are not making any effort besides wearing a dress, a wig, and lipstick should use the mens. Trans men who still look like women, and not Buck, should use the women's. Non binary should use whatever their biological sex is. If a third option exists, then that's what you use. But the problem here is, they're being lied to by their friend circle in MANY cases that they "pass" or "are" women/men. And that's a problem. So, there would still be people who look like that person in Planet Fitness saying they're "clearly" a woman so they should be in the women's, when ANY objective eye would dispute that.
Regarding how to fix the issue with shared locker rooms: I think it would be best to have small rooms that can serve only one person for when they're showering and changing. You go in one to change from street clothes into gym clothes. Come out to lock up your stuff. Then after working out, you go into the private space to shower and change. I know this would be a big financial commitment for the gyms, but it would solve a lot of problems.
Ideally, yes. But why would a gym invest all that money and space for less than 1% of society? I think it's a great idea, it's just not feasible. People with 🍆 should not be in private female spaces. Statistically over 95% of transwomen keep their 🍆.
I remember back in the late 90's, there was a swimming pool I would go to and there was a section of maybe 6 family changing cubicles outside of the main changing rooms. There were plenty of family sized lockers there too. While there were no special family only showers there were rinse off showers on the way out of the pool. Thinking back to it now I think this is a fairly simple accommodation that would be easy to implement. If memory serves correctly they were originally put in to be handicap accessible but switched up pretty quick when people realised the space is only occupied for a few minutes at a time.
Liam, that thumbnail is scrumptious! I'll be back after I've watched the rest of the video ❤ Alexis you're a woman now. Remember, nobody's going to take you seriously if you're THAT pretty... okay I'm serious off the listen to your pov ❤
The idea you mentioned about the sign on the handicapped stall is a great idea. I have had to use the male restroom a few times, because female restroom was taken. I have to say the men have been very confused to see a female in their restroom, but they were all very polite and left the restroom while I was using it. I always thank them and explain the reason I had to use their restroom. So its about being respectful to others. Sorry, for another comment, but I had to because of the debate on restrooms.
Here in Australia, all of our disabled toilets are labeled as unisex! They explicitly state it on the sign, with a male and female figure beside a wheelchair. These toilets are often used if others are full or for families, and they're a great option for folks who don't quite fit in to either gender's bathroom. Genuinely surprised other countries don't have this tbh because I just automatically think of disabled bathrooms as a unisex option 😯
This sums everything up perfectly. A difficult subject explained thoroughly and sensitively. As a trans person, Alexis fits the definition and handles herself with decency and appropriate social awareness.
issue: when offered private/separate rooms (bath, lockers) "they" still use the Women's spaces. cuz it's not about equality, it's dominance: a male trait.
Re: The question of how should we handle this type of situation, here are my thoughts: If the trans person is fully presenting as female, and in spaces where privacy is assured - private showers/stalls with closing doors, etc., I believe they should be welcomed in female spaces, and made to feel safe, and comfortable. If they're not fully presenting as female, and/or there is no privacy, they should use the family facilities - most places in the US have family bathrooms. Also, honestly, I don't think the issue is trans people. I think the issue is the whole idea of "self-identify" and the way entitled, misogynistic males - and yes, some predators - will exploit that concept for their own gits and shiggles. I think there are people who are exploiting the trans community, and the female community for attention and monetization, and the whole self-identify agenda makes that possible. Self-identify shouldn't be a thing.
@@knrdvmmlbkkn, it's pretty self-explanatory. I didn't say, "fully transitioned". I said, "fully presenting as female". Dude's with beards and make-up, are cross-dressers, and they don't belong in the ladies room. Men who claim to be trans, but aren't actually doing anything to actively transition, and who still fully present as males, don't belong in ladies rooms. Clear enough?
first comment, first of all: You are amazing. I love your videos. The once with your boyfriend are the absolute best. Such a great chemistry. So fun to watch. You are absolutely right in this. 100% agree. Greetings from Berlin Germany.
Hey Alexis, thanks for yet another great video,,you truly are one of life's beautiful peoplekeep up the good work,,sending love to both you and liamfrom here in Cumbria x
First time i see your channel and i will say you are so well spoken, i love the maturity and none bias is amazing to see people being more open and level headed speaking about this crazy situation i will definitely suscribe.
I love your videos Alexis. It’s a very difficult climate. I find if I raise any concern about women’s spaces, I am automatically labelled transphobic by countless people. It is often considered hateful to acknowledge that cis women and trans women are not exactly the same, AND THAT’S OKAY - both are equally valid life experiences. I respect trans women as equal members of society and want trans women to have the same safety and opportunity to participate in society as anyone. We need to find a way to provide those things to trans women that doesn’t at the same time take them away from cis women. Everyone deserves a space. The equality is in everyone having that equally accessible and equally valued space. It’s not about being able to access a *particular* space. It’s about being equally able to access *a* space that provides the same safety and opportunities as any other particular space.
I've known a lot of trans women (and men) over many years and I don't know any trans women who would do something like this. As you point out - most wouldn't even think of shaving their face in front of strangers. Something's changed in recent years. Clearly this person know's that they appear male and that that will be making women/girls in a locker room and showers uncomfortable. And, it seems that so often in the comments for these type of things people (men) don't acknowledge the power differential, that includes potential violence, between men and women. Yes, men/boys might be self conscious if someone that they perceived as a woman were in the men's locker room/showers but it's not at all the same. I'm a cis man and I clearly understand that. I agree with all of the points you make in this!
As a ciswoman I think there is place for transwomen in our female spaces, and I want them to be able to use them comfortably, but they do not have an automatic right to be there simply by identifying as trans. Rather they need to welcomed in by the women already there, and in order to be welcomed by them, they have to respect them.
Im really scared to travel in the future. I used to do so much solo travelling as a backpacker and staying overnight in hostels (women dorm), I worry now about all of this sharing public showers and sleeping dorms as a female solo-traveller. I know it's not all transexual women causing discomfort, but self-identifiers, AGPs and woke people.
Where I am from in the UK, our gym/swimming pool only 1 main changing room. There are private stalls to change, private showers. The only thing that is gendered are the toilets. I think this is the best solution honestly. I think you are great Alexis, I love watching your videos, you always put a smile on my face 😊
In Australia, the special needs community actually moved to calling “disabled” toilets to “Accessible” years ago, before the big rise in trans acceptance movements. Under that name, “Accessible” bathrooms make great sense for many trans people to use. When you look at population percentage, the use of those bathrooms are proportionally provided too. Why is this not the easiest answer for society without majorly uprooting current infrastructure? (Which would cost billions btw) There are some early transitioners who seem very self-centred in their own thrill of passing in the bathroom without considering the comfort of the larger population that the bathrooms were intended for - ESPECIALLY children, who should be considered above all!
Keep speaking sis! Your voice, and viewpoint , is what is necessary today. More trans voices need to be heard in this world. I'm tired of hearing what people who aren't trans have to say about being trans. Thank you for sharing your view and your story. Both are so important. Don't stop! ❤❤❤
Big thanks Alexis for you nuanced and sweet, but also very clear stance on that issue. Always nice to hear from you about such cases, because of your honesty. I really believe your content does indeed helps against generalized transphobia stirred up by such events. ☀
It’s not fun using a public restroom already and it’s definitely a place I would be uncomfortable if a biological male was in there especially when I can tell he is a man , he’s not even trying. Why doesn’t he feel uncomfortable if he really has gender dysphoria and he’s in there shaving his face why is he not uncomfortable? Edit- I wrote this before the video started.
You are a kind, empathetic and considerate person. The person in Alaska who did this isn’t. They could have used the single stall with a sink every gym I’ve ever visited has.
When there was the whole uproar about Leia Thomas and transwomen in sports, the "solution" that came from that was to make a whole separate open category so transpeople could have their own space. The equivalent to that for the bathroom situation would be laws for transpeople to just use gender neutral bathrooms or a bathroom that's just for them. However the open category for transwomen in sports was unpopular and wasn't utilised to its full potential (not sure if it's cause there weren't enough participants or if participants didn't find worth in competing in that category), but if transpeople are given their own space I 100% feel like people will find a way to be offended by it and think along the lines of "I am trans and I deserve to be in the bathroom I want to be in", and again put themselves first without thinking of biological sex. Currently regulations concerning who's allowed in what bathroom can be taken advantage of by men pretending to be trans, but a law advocating for a space just for transwomen would be made with the purpose of finding a common ground that's suitable for both females and transwomen, and I think people are just....quick to feel attacked without thinking of the bigger picture :(
I think there shouldn't be a bathroom police but if you already pass well or are at least close to, just be discrete about it and use your chosen gender. It's possible to never show your genitals anyways, I also don't cuz I am shy. I also think both male and female locker rooms should have individual boots for those who are shy like me (or trans people who don't want to get naked). Third space is also good but imagine if there is such a miniscule amount of women/men (trans), it wouldn't be fair to out them like that at all cost, even when they're trying to pass. Those who are too early in the transition could use the third space or their assigned gender space.
I happen to agree with Megyn Kelly. I don't believe that person in the ladies locker room is actually trans. I'm convinced that he's a man with AGP. The reason I think that way, is because of his behavior when he was confronted. What legit trans woman today, responds with "I'm lgb/queer" in a situation like that? It just sounds like someone who doesn't even know the correct terminology for who they're supposed to be. The whole thing sounded super sketchy right from the start. And you also have to consider that things are very different here in the states, with self-ID "laws" that are suspect as it is. You have entire communities on social media of people who are spreading the message that you don't have to do anything at all to change or transform the way you look or behave in order to be "trans". They've grouped every gender identity you can think of under the trans umbrella and I just don't believe that most of them fit. If you say that you're trans, then you're trans and everyone must accept it and acquiesce to your demands. I'm sorry, but that just opens up so many doors to people who don't always have the best intentions. Besides, as Alexis said herself, most (if not all, IMHO) people who suffer from genuine dysphoria would be horrified by the thought of being seen shaving their beard right out in the open like that. Buck and Blaire and Marcus have all said the same thing and along with Alexis, they are trans voices that I respect a great deal. I also disagree with the people who are saying that Planet Fitness did the right thing by cancelling that lady's membership. She took that picture so she could have proof of what happened and I don't blame her. I totally understand why she had some of the concerns that she had.
Sky News Australia can be a bit spicy but they do have a more middle ground approach to LGBT topics, gay people are fine, trans people are fine, but when it comes to the hoopla of the TQ+IA part, they don't pull their punches. Sometimes they do need a little more respect to trans people and they do get tripped up on biological sex when referring to people, but I'm gay and I generally don't have an issue with them.
Thank you for calling them out a bit. I saw the segment they did on Cocomelon of all things where a boy character put on a dress instead of some traditionally masculine activity, and I was pleasantly surprised how laid back the execution was. Not preachy or weird at all! Literally just said "do the things you wanna do." And the Sky News segment acted like they said "gay is the only way" and that it was indoctrinating children into turning gay smh. They are definitely a bit radical I think.
Oh C'mon, Sky News is feral and I don't believe that private female spaces should have male bodies in them no matter how they identify. I'd be okay with Alexis in the toilets , but not changing rooms. We can't discriminate between passing and non passing transwomen... so everyone is apparently allowed. Sky does use inflammatory language and fan the flames though. We've got the challenge of the Sex Act that protects women going on this minute here in Australia. The tickle vs Giggle case. Sadly, I think us women will be the losers... Again.
@@elenawilliams32 I'm American so maybe in comparison they actually look pretty moderate. Things over here are all fever pitch. A good amount of trans people also agree about their own third space separate from male and female spaces such as bathrooms and locker rooms. I've seen Sky News criticize more conservative people on air too, something that wouldn't really happen over here. It's all team games in the US and if you criticize your own team you get kicked out real fast
@@hydrogeddonn Aah, that explains lots! Australian liberal (right) and Labor (left) are actually very centrist, very similar in many ways. Fox News Australia is seen as extremely 'right'. The US division appears from an outsiders view to have become very extreme. We've got Labor in charge atm, after a decade of liberal. Our Labor PM was asked What is a woman? He said an adult human female! (Outrageous 😂) We do have extreme lunatics on both sides, yet we don't pay attention to them. Good luck with your next election.
It’s terrifying to be trans at the moment,people claiming to be trans in prison and invading female spaces when presenting as male harm all of us,I haven’t left my house in weeks because my self confidence is very low at the moment because of the trans phobic content this is causing
Honestly your a beautiful person before and after your transition.. That's because you have a beautiful soul inside, and it shows on your outside. Self awareness, common sense, and common courtesy are no longer the default. Your an amazing example for people struggling with gender dysphoria, to find the help they need. :)
You are such an amazing advocate for trans women. You are sensible and empathetic to women and to the trans community. Thank you. **I consider you a woman. You look and behave as a woman and you are respectful of other women. You belong in the women’s bathroom. If you are a visible man you don’t belong. There needs to be gender neutral options for bathrooms in public spaces.
I get what you are saying and it's fair comment. Thank you for trying to see things from all perspectives. I get that 1 bad actor can ruin it for all trans people, but having said that, there are definite patterns with many men doing the same sort of things. I think we have to be careful to not have a "lone gunman" approach to this issue, because there is a pattern, and patterns are what is most important to risk assessment.
Thank you for being so thoughtful. I personally feel pressurised to accept situations that make me feel uneasy and unsafe. I have ptsd after a dv situation and would feel unsure. It’s refreshing to hear a trans woman seeing the other side. I sincerely hope you get the same consideration and respect from other people 🩷🌷
I've seen that video before and I really agree with you Alexis. I really feel that so many people are using the LGBT+ tags and manipulating the situation and abusing the tags to get away with things they wouldn't have been able to in the past. It gives genuine LGBT+ individuals a bad reputation. Thank you for always being the voice of reason in situations like this
What a wonderfully balanced response to this issue. And THANK YOU for mentioning that we don't hear about trans men doing any of this stuff. We don't hear about trans men competing against biological males in sports or if trans men should go into male prisons either. At least I haven't heard anything. Keep up the great work, Alexis! Oh, and just as a point of interest, as an old school lefty, I hate Sky News with a passion. Yet here I now am agreeing with these right wingers on these issues. Aaah! So frustrating!!😅
You are a breath of fresh air and have restored my faith in people. Your thoughts align with my own really well. Until recently, I have never had any issues with trans women and truly considered them to be women. Recent situations that have been reported on recently have made me feel very uncomfortable and wonder where our society is heading? As you so eloquently put it, it’s how your actions make others feel, if a small minority are making the majority feel uncomfortable through their actions then that should be challenged in a respectful way. I completely respect how you talk so honestly about these situations. I thank you for being so open about your own transition. To hear you acknowledge that you were born a biological man but still experience gender dysphoria is so sad. However, maybe as a result of this there is a complete honesty to you describing your thoughts and lived experience that is rational, logical, responsible and respectful to other humans. No human deserves a lack of respect such as is being shown through a small minority of the trans population. I think that it does trans reputation harm where for the majority of trans that is not deserved. x
I appreciate when places have individual bathrooms (whether called gender neutral or family bathrooms.) I feel like that’s better for those who don’t feel a communal bathroom is the best option at that time. The problem I find with this particular situation is that the lady and the girl also have a right to feel safe in that space and when asked the man gave a dismissive answer. Not cool.
We had an incident on Vancouver Island where a biological man wanted to use the women's change room and when confronted, just started screaming "I identify as a lady with a beard". He is clearly not a lady with a beard - he's a man - at least at this point. If I can find the clip I'll email it to you.
This whole thing is becoming like the thing disabled people with service dogs go through. With service dogs, according to the ADA, people cannot question the validity of the disability OR the service animal. And people can horribly be fined or jailed, for doing so. This trans thing here is ALMOST there now. They are trying to make questions of any sort a hate time and jailable. Until something changes, it will just get worse.
I think as a disabled person our toilets should be left for us. We already share the space usually with baby change and dont have as many toilets to use and they're our only option we can magically manage a usual toilet just because the disabled one is busy. They were diabled people foghting for these to be implemented and have only existed aonce the 70's. However I understand why youd choose that toilet. Changing and toilet spaces do need extending to make sure EVERYONE is safe no matter who they are. I think adding an additional toilet space that is neutral is a great idea. More shopping centres and supermarkets have more toilet units and changing one for nuetral should be easy. (Im not mad about using the disabled toilet btw but there is a history behind them which i think needs acknowledging.. our issues and fights usually get dismissed and the fact a % of us has no other toilet options 😊)
The voice of sanity. Thank you Alexis. Women have always supported trans people like you. You get it! We just struggle supporting those who exude buckets of male entitlement and push themselves into our spaces.
I work in a holiday park in NZ we have ‘open bathrooms’ for M and F, that have closed showers and toilets also a couple of closed rooms in each block (that are good to use if you can ‘pass’) that have showers and toilets so you can complete your ablutions (love that word😂) AND we also have a completely seperate room that can be used if you feel you aren’t quite ready to enter male or female spaces
Sorry my previous post was only half way through when RUclips went on to the next vid so I'm posting another one, and it is long. This is NOT about trans people, this is about men wanting access to female spaces. A solution would be a third option of gender neutral toilets but they need to be safe for anyone and everyone. Quite specific this, but in Leicester uni library, there is a cafe with gender neutral toilets. They have a floor to ceiling brick wall between cubicles which open on to a busy corridor and a door that when closed you are in a sort of small room. In that room there is a toilet, a sink, soap, paper towels, a sanitary disposal bin. You can pee, shave, change clothes, have a good cry - whatever and you are safe. On the subject of male bathrooms / toilets I (5 ft nothing natal female) have used them on occasion. The first time I'd had a bit to drink and got the wrong door. The men in there could see the look on my face and one just said, "use the cubical". The other times I have done it is when there is a long queue at the women's and I HAVE to pee due to medication. I knock on the door, ask if anyone is in there and if there is then I explain I need to pee and the only reaction I have had is a man say, 'I'll be out in a second' and once I had a man say he would 'guard the door' to stop men coming in until I was done. Most people are good, decent people. I'm what is known as 'Gender critical AKA a TERF. I am not transphobic, none of us are. We know there are abusers in society. W know they can go to great lengths to abuse women and children. Abusers will fly countries like Thailand were it is easier to abuse. They will marry, either a single parent or have their own child to abuse. In the past they have trained as teachers or priests in order to access vulnerable victims. They have become scout leaders or youth workers. Now they have this 'free pass' of saying they are trans. Still dressing as males, not taking any treatment, not having any surgery, using a male name and title. This is why women and children need safe spaces and that is usually single sex. Men need safe spaces too, but our realities are different. You are realistic, you know your body is male, that your chromosomes are male and it might be hurtful for me to say that (I hope it isn't) it is true. You have male body strength, you have male lungs and muscles. This is why we are campaigning for women only sports catagories. You are such a lovely person I think you find it difficult to think that any abuser would claim to be trans, but they do. Karen White, Isla Bryson etc IMHO are not trans, they just want to access women and / or children's spaces. Can you imagine having to share a prison cell with a rapist? I think you might actually be a bit TERFY yourself. All the best Alexis, you rock.
I'm in total agreement with you on this one, the trans person should have had more introspection and realised that this was not okay! Autogynephilia is a huge problem within the transgender community.
I was actually quite touched. I work for a major UK bank and about 2 years, we had a bunch of new people starting in work. There were 2 non-binary folk joining and one gender-fluid. I’m gay and fully out at work, my employer has always been fantastically supportive at work. Not sure if HR had a bit of a panic, but everyone had inclusivity training before they started and the toilets in work were along a corridor, all male signs on one side, all female on the other. They changed the signs on the first two cubicles on each corridor to say unisex. I had conversations with some of my older colleagues and they were all terrified of pronouns and misgendering. Had to try and explain that everyone makes mistakes, but the most important thing is that they are trying to respect someone’s pronouns, and as long as they treated the non-binary/ gender fluid people the same way they treated me, like a normal person, they were golden
Unfortunately you can't tell if someone is genuinely trans or not just by looking at them. So if I see a dude in a women's locker room, I *will* assume that HE is a creep, no matter what they might say. On the other hand, I would have absolutely no problem with someone female passing in the locker. I firmly agree that there should be a separate space for people in the middle of their transitioning, it would save so much hurt on both sides - because I can't imagine a group of women being outraged and fearful of you would be great to anyone's mental health.
The problem is these policies give predators a free pass, see the recent arrest in Atlanta where a man with a history of predator behavior walked into a PF and said "I'm trans" where he was immediately given access to the women's bathroom where he promptly began exposing himself to underage girls, or the even more horrific case in Canada where a man with a history of violent assaults on women said "I am trans" and was given access to a battered women's shelter where he you guessed it, assaulted a woman.
In a resteraunt in Tenerife there was a female , male toilet and one seperate single toilet marked female /male seemed a pretty good solution to avoid confusion and helped with queuing.
I’d love to see a gender neutral restroom. Especially for mothers/grandmothers taking the opposite gender child to the restroom. For example, when my grandson was 7, he felt like he was too old to go in my restroom, but didn’t want to go into a public restroom alone either. Thanks for your content, Alexis. I really like your point of view on these issues.
I thank you and applaud you for your honesty and your sensible approach to this subject. Women don’t mind a genuinely trans person and quietly minding their own business, it’s people like the guy in the photograph is intimidating…
I dislike my university for having replaced the gender divided bathrooms for neutrals ones. I would have NO problem whatsoever had they ADDED those to the building(s), but replacing them is what irks me. I think you're right that adding gender neutral spaces are a missed opportunity for lots of places, even if it was (also) just used by some women tired of queuing for the women's bathroom lol!
Yes this is the fitness video I was talking about.thank you for looking at it and giving us your opinion on it. And thank you for being respectful and so nice. Love that outfit.you are rocking it today and look so beautiful.
I wish everyone acted as rationally and gracefully as you do. You are obviously a charming, gentle person, and your videos show what a sensible, considerate person you are, also.
The sad thing no body will say anything, but a mother just got fine for her two year old son pee by a tree.. because the park bathrooms were close and needed repair.
I agree with your thoughtful comments. Sadly this type of behaviour sets back acceptance of trans people within society. The individual concerned's claim to be trans seems dubious at best. They have made no effort to look female. Why? You have to question their motives?
I honestly I am questioning if that even is a trans woman. Like I know we all start somewhere but come on nothing is feminine about that person and they chose to shave their face in the women's room. If I was a trans woman in the early stage I wouldn't shave in there, because I know damn well a situation like this could happen or I could be beaten. For all we know that could just be a conservative man thinking that he's making a "point". As much as I don't like the idea of policing in our community especially since it can get toxic, we need to as a community to point out this shit.
Just amazes me that how easy it is for men, even men not trying to become a woman, still looking and acting like a man, can mearly say the 4 words 'i am a woman', gives them full rights and entitlement then to go into womens spaces, as well as be allowed to infultrate into womans sport and womens competitions. The words 'i am a woman' seem so powerful, and they know these rights in law can allow them to manipulated and protect themselves. Sadly the law's and said organisations are not also considering and addressing women and vulnerable girls rights.😮 Genuine transgender women are more level headed and not under any delusion, they respect women and are more understanding, they are more analytical and understand the reasoning behind gender neutral spaces, and respect them. Like Alexis, she is a beautiful and elegant transwoman and no woman would feel uncomfortable with her in biological womans spaces. She has fully transitioned into a woman and has earned that right. Transwoman who have not fully transitioned, ie still with male parts, obviously women and girls would feel uncomfortable if they undressed in view, any female would; as well as transwoman still looking like men. After full transition and when transwomen actually are fitting in, the majority of women and young girls, would probably not be concerned. But a fully functional man, plus a man who still looks and acts like a man, them 4 words 'i am a woman' doesnt cut it. The lack of respect for women and young girls and demanding to use their spaces, shows alot of disrespect; disreguard, and entitlement. Its very questionable as to why they believe their rights should be prioritised over the vulnerability; stress; anxiety; fear or arguments, it will lead to with the women/young girls/female children, while in female spaces. The rights of men being allowed to enter female spaces by mearly stating 'i am a woman' has opened up a rabbit hole of manipulation of power/control; predatory and sexual behaviour!
Unfortunately there isn't a clear way to seperate who is sincere and safe and who is taking advantage/potentially dangerous. For the safety of women and girls, we have to air on the side caution. Thank you Alexis for being kind and aware. We just have to do third spaces.
Alexis, I have been trying to push you and Liam as being sensible when it comes to these issues. Especially when it comes to children and the protection of their rights and feeling comfortable.
![ROSÉ (로제) - number one girl [더 시즌즈-이영지의 레인보우] | KBS 241129 방송](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/A9oByH9Ci24/mqdefault.jpg)
The fact that there is a terrified young girl tells you all you need to know. It is predatory behavior.
true
@ReginaBerg90 And vice versa. Think about this a little bit. How would you feel if a woman were to be in the boys restroom or mens restroom where he was...???
Exactly. This is what I've just said under another comment.
@@traviskalmoni...You think about it for a little while and get back to us with your conclusion.
@@traviskalmoni If you are referring to a female as in a trans man then there is never an issue, simply because they aren't looking to be problematic. However you have a think about it?
We need to understand that there are people who get off on making people uncomfortable, some men like making women feel uncomfortable. Not everyone has good or innocent intentions
Bingo. That's where auto-gynephiles and predators come into the equation: It can't be ignored like it has been by the transgender community which is why I am so happy to see Alexis calling it out.
true
Yes! This!
If they don’t participate in the third category trans then they don’t participate at all or go back to men’s category. You don’t get to enter the female category
I live in Alaska and that man in the locker room has several charges for flashing, groping women and peeping into windows long before he said he was trans. He is a predator plain and simple and has been for years. The cops are very familiar with him. He gets excited viewing the ladies.
😯Oh that's terrible, just gets worse and worse!
I saw another video on this where another woman claimed that he had previously kept calling staff in while he was in the shower and exposing himself! This is really scary stuff and would be a criminal offence in any other setting
All we need to do is look at the statistics involving sexual &/or violent crimes committed by predators claiming to be trans - maybe they are, maybe they’re not.The majority of transgender people simply want to get on with their lives but they are often “tarred with the same brush”.
Dear god. That makes this 1000000% worse.
He's not trans, he's a perv.
Then why the fitness centre support him???
I find anyone who is truely trans honestly looks for ways to not make people uncomfortable.
That man is getting off on making young girls and women uncomfortable.
nothing acis wont fix
The man was shaving his beard in the women’s locker room with a young girl in there who looked terrified. This isn’t right. It’s just not. The thing is I would have absolutely no problem with you in the women’s bathroom! Honestly, I know just by looking at you that you pose no threat to women, just like I know by looking at that man that he does pose a threat to women. Something is not right with him, something is very very wrong.
Exactly. When they look like Alexis Blake, or Blaire White, it's not a big deal. They pass as women to those that don't know they're trans, heck if I didn't watch their videos, I wouldn't know, but the ones that claim they're trans, but don't even bother trying to look like a woman, like the dude shaving, especially when they're dressed in men's clothing and shaving, you can tell, which males us uncomfortable. Could be a pervert. I'm fine with trans women that look feminine in the women's restroom, but the ones that don't make any effort, nope cause they are probably autogynephelic, or a pervert.
agree
Indeed
Bathrooms are very different from changing/showers/locker rooms. I don't believe that women and girls should get changed/showered in front of someone born male.
This! A true trans woman wouldn’t be shaving in public!
I think a big part of the problem is that we allow self-ID and require no actual transition. I wish we could just expect people to use common sense and courtesy but we can't. I appreciate you saying we need to start discussing real solutions. We can't have a blanket rule that either all of none of the trans people are allowed in spaces. This is becoming a much more nuanced topic.
I agree, this didn't use to be an issue until self ID was introduced... have you followed what is happening in Spain? Quite a few men who are not trans at all (don't even change their birth name) change sex on ID just to access Spain's laws that support women. It's a country that has reached many benefits attributed to women due to their strong feminist base so laws that are supposed to be encouraging or benefiting women can now be very easily abused. And women who complain or misgender non transitioning men (those who don't even plan to transition in the future), can get fined thousands of euros.
It really is the idea that "MY comfort matters even if EVERYONE ELSE is made uncomfortable". The narcissism is palpable. It's crazy that we are asked to let narcissists get automatic veto on policies in our lives. I am beyond sick of it. I watch Alexis and Blair and others to remind myself that there are normal transwomen who just want to get along.
That‘s me as well….it‘s getting harder tho if like in this case Alexis still uses she/her pronouns for an obvious pervy man
YES!!! a third locker room, a third sport category that way everybody is comfortable. And you're right it's not the trans people that make me uncomfortable. It's the predators who pretend to be trans that worry me. You see a guy like that in the locker room or the bathroom and you get very very nervous
They tried the third categorie in sport (I don't remember witch country) no one came
agree
That only works in theory. There have been third options presented in multiple spaces, and there have been people who have willingly chosen not to use them.
@@keshiasmith175 Yes, that's been the problem. They refuse to use the third option, and have sued many businesses and schools for requiring them to use the third space.
It needs to be written into law. Write the third spaces as needed into the building code. And write into law that all gender bending be kept to the gender neutral spaces.
Thank you for covering this. We’re struggling with a lot of people claiming they’re trans to get into women’s spaces. There’s a man that was screaming at a person at the gym in a trucker hat, full grown out to almost the chest beard, that they can identify as a female to get access to women’s spaces. It was scary to see. And knowing there was an undressed adolescent in that locker room at PF is terrifying.
It's because under today's definition anyone can declare themselves the opposite sex irrespective of how they present.
When you said “misogynistic” my jaw dropped! You are such a wise lady! This is exactly what I have been saying about trans women that totally ignore the feelings of biological women. It’s a “only my feelings matter” type of attitude. This is exactly what the women’s movement has fought against for decades when it comes to being discounted by cis men in the past. The irony seems to be lost on some folks.
the sad thing is that she will get harrassed and called a TERF for that one statement. It's not transphic to say men having free rein in womens spaces is uncomfortable, shocking sometimes and makes women and children unsafe. It's not okay. Alexis in the bathroom - yes. This guy - no.
It's the ultimate height of mysoginy: men are so much better than women at everything that they even make better women than women!
Disclaimer to say obviously I don't think all trans women believe or act like they believe that, but it so often seems to be the statement behind a lot of this debate.
pleas stop with this bs of CIS
Yes! Shout out to Alexis! I love to hear her perspective, because it's balanced and respectful. I also loved that she always referred to this man as they and not she.
sure
My 1st thought before even watching the video- why is ANYONE shaving in a gym locker room?? I shave my legs in MY shower in MY home…🤔
You're not permitted to shave in change rooms in Canada, Alberta. So this really surprised me.
Right? It would make such a mess, and god I don't want everyone to see my hair. Gross! 😭
No fr … I used to be a janitor at a gym n you dunno what other things people have had n one little cut in that shower?!?!
Ikr Barf*
It's for the kick. The kick of transgression and the provocation and the closeness to women and girls. They enjoy it. With other men it's not fun and at home it's lonely. They are gross.
I would not have felt safe in that changing room with that person shaving. There is nothing feminine about them! To be fair, I have a deep fear of men, so I'd probably feel very uncomfortable with anybody who exudes male energy in the changing rooms. Everybody has a right to feel safe. I would feel safe with you, Alexis, because you exude female energy.
I feel like that's the main difference. I would be okay with trans women who struggle to pass being in the locker room with me if they actually had that feminine energy about them. Some of these people pushing themselves into women's spaces seem to have no idea what it is like to feel vulnerable as a woman in this world. And this is coming from a woman who works in a male-dominated field and is confident in her self defense skills. Even with that confidence I would feel vulnerable and uncomfortable with males being in the locker room, because ultimately I shouldn't feel like I might *need* to defend myself against men in women's spaces.
cool
We can't discriminate between passing and non passing transwomen though... So it's all or nothing.
In that case ... Nothing.
@@elenawilliams32 passing is also just feminizing yourself if you're a trans woman, shave, do your hair, your nails, sure it might take time or maybe u cant afford feminization surgeries. But you can do things to "feminize" yourself. Also passing is about energy. Men have a very noticeably different posture from women. Passing isnt just about looks like most think, its also about energy.
The same can also be applied to trans men.
@@Sweet-cavity If a transwoman passes, we won't clock them so no problem. The problem is exactly what happened at planet fitness, our private female spaces are no longer private. We are always on alert , the showers/ changing rooms are a no go area. Less than 5% get rid of their lower genitalia... The one thing that women don't ever have! Do you understand why us women feel like we're losing our rights to privacy, modesty, comfort, decency and safety?
I'd like to say only passing transwomen can use our bathrooms but that's discrimination against non passing... So females lose all around.
I like your idea for a neutral private space for who ever wants to use it. Like a family bathroom or handicapped space
I do too. The problem is most trans people don't actually just want a "safe and comfortable space". They want AFFIRMATION!!!!!! I live in the St. Louis area and there were a couple of schools here that had transwomen (2 boys who have not done ANY physical transitioning, but dressed as girls). The principal set up some private changes spaces outside of the boys locker room for them. Next thing you know there are news stories about the "Discrimination" they were dealing with because of that.
You mean unisex bathroom that been around since forever
@@ThreeWishes777 ok
I've been saying that exact thing. Just install Unisex bathrooms and locker rooms in Gyms and Schools. It's so simple.
@@gypsyjengypsydogs9320 But that would be expensive, and the emotional mental health of women and girls has no calcuble value.
As a trans woman myself, I would never use a gendered changing room unless there was private cubicles. With makeup on I look pretty feminine but I'm aware of what I look like without clothes versus make-up and feminine clothes and I would NEVER dream of shaving, or even being around other people so they can see my body like that guy was, I would be uncomfortable, disphoric and constantly aware of how uncomfortable everyone else was, it would be hell. I don't understand how (he?) they could stand there like that shaving a beard and arguing with someone telling you they're uncomfortable! Like why would you not have shaved before the gym at the very least?!
I truly believe "he" gets off on doing what he did. Makes him powerful, because women can't stop him. I would expect trans persons WANT to blend in. There was nothing female about him and he didn't give a damn.
Women are not choosing to have an issue with using same spaces as trans women but when people who label themselves as trans but look very much like a man we cant helpbut feel instinctively unsafe and uncomfortable.
I dont have a problem with trans women but I do have a problem when biological womens safety and comfortably is put 2nd to someone who claims to be trans but shows no evidence of being anything other than a man in the womens locker room.
I totally agree with you but just one correction, being trans isn't the same as transitioning and transitioning isn't the same as being trans. Trans is an identity, transitioning is the process of changing gender / sex. Binary trans people, which are trans men and trans women, almost always transition, nonbinary trans people or genderfluid trans people don't always transition.
I'm a trans man and look fully 100% male with a full beard. I love to swim and go to the hot pool. I travel and never know what to expect. I call and ask before I go. Even though I fully pass I will never go in the mens locker room. If there are no "family" changing rooms, I wont go back or I go ready to swim and go home wet. As a parent, I also know that in the locker room there are little boys and teenage boys that run around naked, they dont need to have a bio female in their space. RESPECT!
Do you believe that other trans men are also doing this? They seem to be relatively quiet about this whole thing and I wonder why that is. I wish more would speak out and call this stuff out as they are witnessing it. Thank you by the way for being respectful of others around you, I wish this was common for everyone.
Yes, thank you for being so respectful to others. We get what we give & you give & I’m sure get respect.
@@blackharvest13 all the ones that I know are. The people seen in the very public eye are mostly "activists" trying to get noticed. As Alexis said here, people that suffer with gender dysphoria just want to live as close to "normal" as possible. I have a lot of Trans woman friends as well, and none of them would do any of the stuff seen in the social media.
I've never gone in a changing room that doesn't have cubicles. I'm not trans but I don't like getting fully undressed in front of others so I always use them! If trans people who pass did the same (if they've not had bottom surgery) I wouldn't even know 🤷♀️ but much respect to you for your selflessness and care.
@@Peacefulpreface6323 the planet fitness locker/changing/showers only have a shower curtin and no privicy other than that. I was trying out membership and canceled due to that as my main issue.
I think theres a lot of missing the point in the comments to be 'nice'. This guy didn't claim to be trans, he said he was Q/LGB being Q/LGB is nothing to do with trans as its about sexual orientation and kink. Gay and bisexual men aren't allowed in womens spaces so this is no different to that. It was bad enough being in the ladies loos when i was younger in a mixed gay bar with misogynistic drags coming in and giving looks of disrespect to my lesbian friend and myself, IMHO this is no different. A woman with PCOS and facial hair or a butch lesbian is a totally different thing, they will still be noticeably female and the lesbian would definitely not want the dude in there either.
Agreed. As a woman with PCOS and dark facial hair, I would NEVER shave my face in a gym like that.
I know lots of heterosexual females who are uncomfortable with butch lesbians but will never say it out loud. I think sexuality matters. If you like women that’s a male sexuality and a threat. Most women would rather use the restroom with Kim Petra’s then Lea Delaria. It’s just said between straight women so you’ve probably never heard it lol
It is quite hurtful, as you mentioned, that it is always the biological men that do not pass at all intruding on women's spaces.
There is never any consideration from these people towards the fact that women are often afraid of men being in such intimate spaces for safety reasons.
I think any person who was truly a woman, including trans women, would have respect and understanding for this.
To me, it just feels like these men want to intrude on spaces because they feel entitled to everything, or because they prefer the female facilities (like perhaps the mirror was cleaner in the women's bathroom in this case). It seems so selfish.
That person did not show an inkling of femininity, you can't just proclaim to be female without putting in the work and showing respect to biological women.
You just defined the problem: you CAN. Self identified, remember ...
Sadly (for true transwomen and society as a whole), this self identifying makes it possible for predators, other sexual deviants and mentally unstable attention seeking individuals to not only infiltrate the transcommunity, but to also influence public opinion about transgenders in a really, really, really bad way. 😠😭
The big difference is that you are a true trans, you are not trying to take over women’s spaces. I would stand up for true trans everyday.
Is it possible that individual is simply a predator using this as a guise for their predation which is why they don’t care?
He is with a child that is not his biological child in a towel, in a female locker room, on his own. In any other situation he would be legally in trouble for child preditation. I would have called the police and had him charged. If that was my child, he would need to run very fast and very far…I would be suing planet fitness if I was that child’s parent. A child’s safety must always come first. That man can fend for himself
He's an AGP
Definitely. In scotland there have been at least 2 sex offenders who committed crimes against women and children who say theyre women in the hope of going to a womens prison. Genuine trans women are also at risk from these men.
@@AF-gd7fhAGP? Perhaps MAP as well.
@stcntymcfckoff5805 yep! Ian Huntley apparently "discovered a trans identity" in prison but thankfully was recognised as presenting too significant a risk to women to be moved to a female prison
There was an arrest today at one of the planet gyms. Dreadlocked, bearded, identifying as a woman, dude. Stripped off and was parading around swinging his dingaling, he refused to stop so the police were called and finally did the right thing.
yea!
He asked to be lotioned up by a woman he approached and wanted her to shower with him. 😮
Here's something I would love for Alexis and Liam to talk about and dissect:
1.) Is "LGBQ" trans?
2.) How does someone identifying as gay, bi, or queer, give them access to female spaces?
3.) Does simply dressing in women's clothing, or makeup, make one, trans? I mean, isn't that simply being a cross dresser? Do cross-dressers have rights to female spaces?
I second this
"1.) Is "LGBQ" (...) female spaces?"
1) Perhaps. The Q usually stands for "queer" (but in some cases "questioning") which means "weird", so it could in theory refer to anything considered abnormal.
2) It doesn't.
3) No. Yes. Yes, if they're female.
As someone who has experienced sexual abuse I would find this terrifying!
I'm a trans woman and I just joined planet fitness and I have no intention of using their locker rooms. I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable or do I want to have to be confronted by someone who says I don't belong there. So I will just shower and change at home. I fear running into someone that confronts me to the point where they cause a scene.
Well, with the number of women who have canceled their memberships and are boycotting Planet Fitness, you should have the women's locker room all to yourself. Thanks for being that one misogynist who claims to be a woman but does not support women. If you honestly consider yourself a woman, find yourself another gym. Solidarity, "sister!" 🤨
That's your feminine energy and not misogynistic entitlement. This makes you one of us ❤
@@samantharutter7768 thank you. I know it’s not all about me.
They should have gender neutral changing rooms provided for you, it's not fair to put people at odds with each other! Profit above all seems to be their motto......
@@thomasmumw8435 I agree.
I grew up in California, and we had trans and gay students. It was no secret. And most of them used the girls bathroom for safety. Including non-trans male gay students. 90% of the girls were cool with this, because we got it, they would get picked on and harrassed. But... there are people pretending... it is a totally different vibe. It's only happened a few times, were someone trans appearing came in, and felt wrong, didn't feel trans...and we didn't feel safe so we left. That person wasn't using the space, they were intruding in the space, they were there to show they could be, it's very male... and makes me think they aren't trans at all.
This!
I grew up in California.. San Francisco to be exact and I never had the experience you speak of.. men, transgender never used the female locker rooms until recently passed laws.. u must be in your early 20s
Sexuality definitely matters. Someone like Blaire White is not a sexual threat to females. She’s actually more likely to be a victim of sexual assault then be a perp. The “trans lesbians” like Lia Thomas are a whole different breed! They are sexually the same as straight men!
Ah but were they actually ‘cool’ with it? Or could they have been too afraid to speak up? There are ramifications for girls/women who disagree with this. Plus there is a huge difference between teen trans and full grown entitled males in the change room.
My mom is a recently retired teacher assistant she said the trans students were allowed to use the handicapped bathrooms and a specific staff bathroom because they were both private bathrooms with no stalls, just a locking door.
Alexis you're such a solid and level headed voice for the trans community!! I hope you continue to gain popularity because more of the public needs to hear your view and your experiences to help shed light on what what it REALLY means to be trans! ❤
I feel disgusted that some "trans women" are casting such a shade on your community. 😢
We need more voices like you. ❤
Great video Alexis! Even being post op and having had a fair amount done, I am still terrified of being clocked as trans. I still have a beard that needs to be shaved and you wouldn't catch me dead doing it like that in the women's restroom. I don't understand the utter lack of respect that our community seems to show. Our comfortability shouldn't come at the expense of the majority of the population-with obviously some caveats to that because there's always some nuance that needs to be explored. What's really interesting too is that newly transitioning trans women (and even in some that have been transitioning for some time) are still so used to acting like a man. We were socialized as males and thus act like males more often than not, and what tends to happen is a sense of male entitlement. "I'm trans so I'm allowed to be here." That's the misogyny that our community doesn't want to acknowledge because it's not gender affirming, yet part of being affirmed in your gender is recognizing your own flaws and seeing how you need to unlearn certain behaviors.
Amen!
Even as a biological woman, I get a bit of facial hair, not to mention elsewhere, and my goodness, you would not catch me dead shaving that in a public locker room or bathroom!
It's just not something we women do. We don't like others to see our hair, it's embarrassing 😭
It's not your community, showing a lack of respect, it's men who just identify without changing a thing xx
Can I point out the alleged language the person used? "Im queer LGB" isn't the same as "I'm a trans woman"! Why wouldn't they say they're trans? Why would they LGB? Because that could mean both gay and bi men!!
The topic of dysphoria is the key here. My trans women friends would never have been caught dead shaving, not even around their female friends! Because being perceived as men at all is what feels uncomfortable for them. This person is very clearly not concerned with that. Which feels like its the signs of being AGP.
Well said, Kira! As a woman with PCOS, i wouldn't shave my face in public, full stop.
I wish you joy in your transition, and best wishes for a happy life xx
Currently I am following your example Alexis. I still have beard shadow and don't wear makeup so I'd rather make myself uncomfortable than others. When I pass more then maybe I'll be more comfortable in the women's restroom.
Hi, Kelsie! I just wanted to wish you much good luck, happy days and solid well-being in your transition!! The world can't wait for you to be fully YOU....the world needs all of us to be healthy and happy and our best selves!!! Congratulations on making your journey!❤❤❤❤
If you don't wear makeup and have gone through male puberty you know that you look very masculine. You'll definitely figure out very quickly if you pass as you'll see women and girls clock you and be very alarmed. I'm glad you're taking Alexis's lead, if you don't pass, don't enter. I'm glad she mentioned that entitled misogyny. We can't tell the difference between AGP creeps or trans.
That may sound stupid, but to me you already pass because you respect biological women!
I wish you luck with your transition :)
Katia, from Russia with love hehe
Another person here wishing you well and hoping others give back the respect you are showing them.
Calling women who don’t want predators in their bathrooms and spaces Transphobic etc. is wrong. i have no problem with passing and looking like they are truly trying and just use a toilet and put on lippy cool. But super masc. or taking those weird creepy videos of i am in a woman’s bathroom is creepy and predatory. There is a line and that person at Planet Fitness crossed it.
I’m mid transition MtF. The biggest physical change is my B cup breast. It would be so inappropriate for me to go swimming or be in public shirtless and at the same time for me to walking into a woman’s space would also be totally inappropriate. Gender neutral spaces is the easiest answer.
Women need sex segregated spaces to feel safe from men. We fought for those spaces.
Neutral spaces should exist for sure, but women's spaces also need to remain a thing.
Thank you!! “When the minority is making the majority uncomfortable, that is not ok”
Also I don’t think it’s “confidence” - him shaving in the women’s locker room…it’s audacity.
3:25 soo true i was thinking arent they uncomfortable with the fact that they are making other people uncomfortable? how can this person be so unaware!? it definitley is selfish! also i love how trixie and katya came up at the start i love them haha
I never really thought about it before all of this blew up in the news and all over social medi, but I do have a theory. This is purely anecdotal because the last bit of real research I ever did was about barnacle settlement and zooplankton lol
But this also goes along with what Alexis said about how we don't hear stories like this about trans men. I feel like women are generally more empathetic than men. We have a tendency to be more emotional in general. Alexis just talked about the changes in her emotional state when she introduced estrogen into her body, and how even now her emotions are a lot deeper than they were pre-transition. I feel like it's possible that some of the people who are presenting as male but claiming to be trans just don't have (or if they are actually transitioning) the same emotional depth. I'm not explaining what I mean very well, and I wish I could articulate it better. Of course there are plenty of empathetic men out there who are in touch with their emotions (but apparently testosterone levels are also on a severe decline in younger generations - coincidence? Or supporting evidence?). The attitude exhibited by the individual in the photo comes off as entitled, but maybe it's also in part due to a lack of emotional awareness.
Maybe we don't see that from trans men because they have spent their lives developing as women, along with the hormones that push us into being the so-called "gentler sex."
Also, when these videos are circulating of a trans person acting out aggressively or even violently, it's usually a trans woman and not a trans man. Men are usually more volatile and aggressive compared to most women. I didn't realize introducing estrogen into a male system could actually to some extent increase those responses like Alexis described, but maybe that has something to do with becoming more in tune with your emotions. That's very interesting. I know on the flip side of that, when a biological woman introduces testosterone, it makes them have increased aggression and more volatile anger as well. I know this because my ex (who is my best friend), was born female and transitioned. When they went on testosterone the nicest, kindest, most empathetic person I knew was suddenly cruel, indifferent, and angry. They said some really horrible things to me on the day my dog (who got me through severe, almost self-deleting depression as a teenager) died. It was something they never, ever would have said to me without having been going through the changes wrought by testosterone. Though I am happy to say they eventually balanced out and learned to handle the aggressive responses in a much more healthy manner.
yep
At my gym, they have a hall behind the locker rooms with a row of separated bathrooms that have their own showers in it for parents and their kids. I always thought, why not build more separated bathrooms with showers so they have their own safe space with everything they need.
Incredibly well said. And it's all about common sense. I'm biologically female and have hormonal issues due to age and have to get rid of hair on random spots on my face. You wouldn't catch me dead doing that out for public viewing! The fact I'm even admitting that is a bit embarrassing but it's alot more common than many realize.
Ditto!!
As a trans woman even after 8 years medically transitioning i still choose not to use the ladies locker rooms ( bathrooms are not as close and personal) i don't want to put myself into a situation that will draw attention to me , the thought of undressing in front of men in a mens locker room is scary , let alone in a ladies locker room, i also don't understand how any trans woman would want to shave her face in public in any situation!
"i don't want (...) ladies locker room"
Same here... and I'm not even a trans woman. I wish there were separate stalls with toilets, showers and benches. But it would presumably be very expensive to install and maintain them. Especially if they had to fit children/disabled people with their parents/guardians//assistants. Those electric wheelchairs can be very large.
Well, now that I can stay at home it's not a problem. But when I was a teenager and had to go to school (against my wishes)... yikes.
Alexis, I actually wrote a blog on this. The bathroom should be the sex in which you PRESENT, very clearly. Biological sex doesn't always work, in cases like yours, Blaire's, and Buck's for example. The people who are not making any effort besides wearing a dress, a wig, and lipstick should use the mens. Trans men who still look like women, and not Buck, should use the women's. Non binary should use whatever their biological sex is. If a third option exists, then that's what you use. But the problem here is, they're being lied to by their friend circle in MANY cases that they "pass" or "are" women/men. And that's a problem. So, there would still be people who look like that person in Planet Fitness saying they're "clearly" a woman so they should be in the women's, when ANY objective eye would dispute that.
REAL trans people... I love that! You are exactly that! Thank you for being so respectful, always! ❤
Regarding how to fix the issue with shared locker rooms: I think it would be best to have small rooms that can serve only one person for when they're showering and changing. You go in one to change from street clothes into gym clothes. Come out to lock up your stuff. Then after working out, you go into the private space to shower and change. I know this would be a big financial commitment for the gyms, but it would solve a lot of problems.
It’s sounds great in theory, space is the issue usually.
Exactly! Then no one would have to feel uncomfortable trans or non trans.
yep
Ideally, yes. But why would a gym invest all that money and space for less than 1% of society? I think it's a great idea, it's just not feasible. People with 🍆 should not be in private female spaces. Statistically over 95% of transwomen keep their 🍆.
I remember back in the late 90's, there was a swimming pool I would go to and there was a section of maybe 6 family changing cubicles outside of the main changing rooms. There were plenty of family sized lockers there too. While there were no special family only showers there were rinse off showers on the way out of the pool. Thinking back to it now I think this is a fairly simple accommodation that would be easy to implement. If memory serves correctly they were originally put in to be handicap accessible but switched up pretty quick when people realised the space is only occupied for a few minutes at a time.
Liam, that thumbnail is scrumptious! I'll be back after I've watched the rest of the video ❤ Alexis you're a woman now. Remember, nobody's going to take you seriously if you're THAT pretty... okay I'm serious off the listen to your pov ❤
I will pass on the compliment - he spends hours on the thumbnails haha! x
The idea you mentioned about the sign on the handicapped stall is a great idea. I have had to use the male restroom a few times, because female restroom was taken. I have to say the men have been very confused to see a female in their restroom, but they were all very polite and left the restroom while I was using it. I always thank them and explain the reason I had to use their restroom. So its about being respectful to others. Sorry, for another comment, but I had to because of the debate on restrooms.
Here in Australia, all of our disabled toilets are labeled as unisex!
They explicitly state it on the sign, with a male and female figure beside a wheelchair. These toilets are often used if others are full or for families, and they're a great option for folks who don't quite fit in to either gender's bathroom.
Genuinely surprised other countries don't have this tbh because I just automatically think of disabled bathrooms as a unisex option 😯
We have the same labels for them in the US, so it's not just you guys. 🙂
I agree. These 'men' make it really tough for the transwomen.
This sums everything up perfectly. A difficult subject explained thoroughly and sensitively. As a trans person, Alexis fits the definition and handles herself with decency and appropriate social awareness.
issue: when offered private/separate rooms (bath, lockers) "they" still use the Women's spaces. cuz it's not about equality, it's dominance: a male trait.
Alexis, you are the voice of reason in a world gone mad. love you, keep doing what your doing, we need more people like you
Re: The question of how should we handle this type of situation, here are my thoughts:
If the trans person is fully presenting as female, and in spaces where privacy is assured - private showers/stalls with closing doors, etc., I believe they should be welcomed in female spaces, and made to feel safe, and comfortable.
If they're not fully presenting as female, and/or there is no privacy, they should use the family facilities - most places in the US have family bathrooms.
Also, honestly, I don't think the issue is trans people. I think the issue is the whole idea of "self-identify" and the way entitled, misogynistic males - and yes, some predators - will exploit that concept for their own gits and shiggles. I think there are people who are exploiting the trans community, and the female community for attention and monetization, and the whole self-identify agenda makes that possible. Self-identify shouldn't be a thing.
How would you define "fully presenting as female"?
@@knrdvmmlbkkn, it's pretty self-explanatory. I didn't say, "fully transitioned". I said, "fully presenting as female". Dude's with beards and make-up, are cross-dressers, and they don't belong in the ladies room. Men who claim to be trans, but aren't actually doing anything to actively transition, and who still fully present as males, don't belong in ladies rooms.
Clear enough?
first comment, first of all: You are amazing. I love your videos. The once with your boyfriend are the absolute best. Such a great chemistry. So fun to watch. You are absolutely right in this. 100% agree. Greetings from Berlin Germany.
You're so awesome 👌
Thank you so much!!
Hey Alexis, thanks for yet another great video,,you truly are one of life's beautiful peoplekeep up the good work,,sending love to both you and liamfrom here in Cumbria x
@@MsMaryPatriciathey did get engaged! ❤
@@MsMaryPatricia me too. Such genuinely lovely people. As a northerner myself, I'm very proud of them.
Thank you for being one of the good ones!! Love your channel and how respectful you are to everyone you talk about on your channel.
First time i see your channel and i will say you are so well spoken, i love the maturity and none bias is amazing to see people being more open and level headed speaking about this crazy situation i will definitely suscribe.
I love your videos Alexis. It’s a very difficult climate. I find if I raise any concern about women’s spaces, I am automatically labelled transphobic by countless people. It is often considered hateful to acknowledge that cis women and trans women are not exactly the same, AND THAT’S OKAY - both are equally valid life experiences. I respect trans women as equal members of society and want trans women to have the same safety and opportunity to participate in society as anyone. We need to find a way to provide those things to trans women that doesn’t at the same time take them away from cis women. Everyone deserves a space. The equality is in everyone having that equally accessible and equally valued space. It’s not about being able to access a *particular* space. It’s about being equally able to access *a* space that provides the same safety and opportunities as any other particular space.
I've known a lot of trans women (and men) over many years and I don't know any trans women who would do something like this. As you point out - most wouldn't even think of shaving their face in front of strangers. Something's changed in recent years. Clearly this person know's that they appear male and that that will be making women/girls in a locker room and showers uncomfortable. And, it seems that so often in the comments for these type of things people (men) don't acknowledge the power differential, that includes potential violence, between men and women. Yes, men/boys might be self conscious if someone that they perceived as a woman were in the men's locker room/showers but it's not at all the same. I'm a cis man and I clearly understand that. I agree with all of the points you make in this!
As a ciswoman I think there is place for transwomen in our female spaces, and I want them to be able to use them comfortably, but they do not have an automatic right to be there simply by identifying as trans. Rather they need to welcomed in by the women already there, and in order to be welcomed by them, they have to respect them.
Im really scared to travel in the future. I used to do so much solo travelling as a backpacker and staying overnight in hostels (women dorm), I worry now about all of this sharing public showers and sleeping dorms as a female solo-traveller. I know it's not all transexual women causing discomfort, but self-identifiers, AGPs and woke people.
Where I am from in the UK, our gym/swimming pool only 1 main changing room. There are private stalls to change, private showers. The only thing that is gendered are the toilets. I think this is the best solution honestly.
I think you are great Alexis, I love watching your videos, you always put a smile on my face 😊
"There are private stalls to change, private showers."
Now, that's luxury! Although it ought to be commonplace.
In Australia, the special needs community actually moved to calling “disabled” toilets to “Accessible” years ago, before the big rise in trans acceptance movements.
Under that name, “Accessible” bathrooms make great sense for many trans people to use. When you look at population percentage, the use of those bathrooms are proportionally provided too.
Why is this not the easiest answer for society without majorly uprooting current infrastructure? (Which would cost billions btw)
There are some early transitioners who seem very self-centred in their own thrill of passing in the bathroom without considering the comfort of the larger population that the bathrooms were intended for - ESPECIALLY children, who should be considered above all!
Keep speaking sis! Your voice, and viewpoint , is what is necessary today. More trans voices need to be heard in this world. I'm tired of hearing what people who aren't trans have to say about being trans. Thank you for sharing your view and your story. Both are so important. Don't stop! ❤❤❤
Maybe we just need signs on the bathroom doors that say “ no creeps allowed.”
I agree with Alexis 100% she has a common sense approach to not just this situation but all... 100% respect x
If they won’t use separate bathrooms have their own category in sports it tells me they have an ulterior motive.
Big thanks Alexis for you nuanced and sweet, but also very clear stance on that issue. Always nice to hear from you about such cases, because of your honesty. I really believe your content does indeed helps against generalized transphobia stirred up by such events. ☀
The problem with this was, planet fitness denied that the photo was genuine but had suspended her account anyway. They don't make any sense.
It’s not fun using a public restroom already and it’s definitely a place I would be uncomfortable if a biological male was in there especially when I can tell he is a man , he’s not even trying. Why doesn’t he feel uncomfortable if he really has gender dysphoria and he’s in there shaving his face why is he not uncomfortable? Edit- I wrote this before the video started.
You are a kind, empathetic and considerate person. The person in Alaska who did this isn’t. They could have used the single stall with a sink every gym I’ve ever visited has.
When there was the whole uproar about Leia Thomas and transwomen in sports, the "solution" that came from that was to make a whole separate open category so transpeople could have their own space. The equivalent to that for the bathroom situation would be laws for transpeople to just use gender neutral bathrooms or a bathroom that's just for them. However the open category for transwomen in sports was unpopular and wasn't utilised to its full potential (not sure if it's cause there weren't enough participants or if participants didn't find worth in competing in that category), but if transpeople are given their own space I 100% feel like people will find a way to be offended by it and think along the lines of "I am trans and I deserve to be in the bathroom I want to be in", and again put themselves first without thinking of biological sex. Currently regulations concerning who's allowed in what bathroom can be taken advantage of by men pretending to be trans, but a law advocating for a space just for transwomen would be made with the purpose of finding a common ground that's suitable for both females and transwomen, and I think people are just....quick to feel attacked without thinking of the bigger picture :(
I think there shouldn't be a bathroom police but if you already pass well or are at least close to, just be discrete about it and use your chosen gender. It's possible to never show your genitals anyways, I also don't cuz I am shy. I also think both male and female locker rooms should have individual boots for those who are shy like me (or trans people who don't want to get naked). Third space is also good but imagine if there is such a miniscule amount of women/men (trans), it wouldn't be fair to out them like that at all cost, even when they're trying to pass. Those who are too early in the transition could use the third space or their assigned gender space.
I happen to agree with Megyn Kelly. I don't believe that person in the ladies locker room is actually trans. I'm convinced that he's a man with AGP. The reason I think that way, is because of his behavior when he was confronted. What legit trans woman today, responds with "I'm lgb/queer" in a situation like that? It just sounds like someone who doesn't even know the correct terminology for who they're supposed to be. The whole thing sounded super sketchy right from the start.
And you also have to consider that things are very different here in the states, with self-ID "laws" that are suspect as it is. You have entire communities on social media of people who are spreading the message that you don't have to do anything at all to change or transform the way you look or behave in order to be "trans". They've grouped every gender identity you can think of under the trans umbrella and I just don't believe that most of them fit. If you say that you're trans, then you're trans and everyone must accept it and acquiesce to your demands. I'm sorry, but that just opens up so many doors to people who don't always have the best intentions. Besides, as Alexis said herself, most (if not all, IMHO) people who suffer from genuine dysphoria would be horrified by the thought of being seen shaving their beard right out in the open like that. Buck and Blaire and Marcus have all said the same thing and along with Alexis, they are trans voices that I respect a great deal. I also disagree with the people who are saying that Planet Fitness did the right thing by cancelling that lady's membership. She took that picture so she could have proof of what happened and I don't blame her. I totally understand why she had some of the concerns that she had.
Sky News Australia can be a bit spicy but they do have a more middle ground approach to LGBT topics, gay people are fine, trans people are fine, but when it comes to the hoopla of the TQ+IA part, they don't pull their punches.
Sometimes they do need a little more respect to trans people and they do get tripped up on biological sex when referring to people, but I'm gay and I generally don't have an issue with them.
Thank you for calling them out a bit. I saw the segment they did on Cocomelon of all things where a boy character put on a dress instead of some traditionally masculine activity, and I was pleasantly surprised how laid back the execution was. Not preachy or weird at all! Literally just said "do the things you wanna do." And the Sky News segment acted like they said "gay is the only way" and that it was indoctrinating children into turning gay smh. They are definitely a bit radical I think.
Oh C'mon, Sky News is feral and I don't believe that private female spaces should have male bodies in them no matter how they identify. I'd be okay with Alexis in the toilets , but not changing rooms. We can't discriminate between passing and non passing transwomen... so everyone is apparently allowed. Sky does use inflammatory language and fan the flames though.
We've got the challenge of the Sex Act that protects women going on this minute here in Australia. The tickle vs Giggle case. Sadly, I think us women will be the losers... Again.
@@elenawilliams32 I'm American so maybe in comparison they actually look pretty moderate. Things over here are all fever pitch.
A good amount of trans people also agree about their own third space separate from male and female spaces such as bathrooms and locker rooms. I've seen Sky News criticize more conservative people on air too, something that wouldn't really happen over here. It's all team games in the US and if you criticize your own team you get kicked out real fast
@@hydrogeddonn Aah, that explains lots! Australian liberal (right) and Labor (left) are actually very centrist, very similar in many ways. Fox News Australia is seen as extremely 'right'. The US division appears from an outsiders view to have become very extreme. We've got Labor in charge atm, after a decade of liberal. Our Labor PM was asked What is a woman? He said an adult human female! (Outrageous 😂) We do have extreme lunatics on both sides, yet we don't pay attention to them. Good luck with your next election.
❤ I watch Sky Australia as the others astound me with the wokeness.
It’s terrifying to be trans at the moment,people claiming to be trans in prison and invading female spaces when presenting as male harm all of us,I haven’t left my house in weeks because my self confidence is very low at the moment because of the trans phobic content this is causing
Honestly your a beautiful person before and after your transition.. That's because you have a beautiful soul inside, and it shows on your outside. Self awareness, common sense, and common courtesy are no longer the default. Your an amazing example for people struggling with gender dysphoria, to find the help they need. :)
You are such an amazing advocate for trans women. You are sensible and empathetic to women and to the trans community. Thank you.
**I consider you a woman. You look and behave as a woman and you are respectful of other women. You belong in the women’s bathroom. If you are a visible man you don’t belong. There needs to be gender neutral options for bathrooms in public spaces.
I get what you are saying and it's fair comment. Thank you for trying to see things from all perspectives. I get that 1 bad actor can ruin it for all trans people, but having said that, there are definite patterns with many men doing the same sort of things. I think we have to be careful to not have a "lone gunman" approach to this issue, because there is a pattern, and patterns are what is most important to risk assessment.
Thank you for being so thoughtful. I personally feel pressurised to accept situations that make me feel uneasy and unsafe. I have ptsd after a dv situation and would feel unsure. It’s refreshing to hear a trans woman seeing the other side. I sincerely hope you get the same consideration and respect from other people 🩷🌷
I've seen that video before and I really agree with you Alexis. I really feel that so many people are using the LGBT+ tags and manipulating the situation and abusing the tags to get away with things they wouldn't have been able to in the past. It gives genuine LGBT+ individuals a bad reputation.
Thank you for always being the voice of reason in situations like this
What a wonderfully balanced response to this issue. And THANK YOU for mentioning that we don't hear about trans men doing any of this stuff. We don't hear about trans men competing against biological males in sports or if trans men should go into male prisons either. At least I haven't heard anything. Keep up the great work, Alexis! Oh, and just as a point of interest, as an old school lefty, I hate Sky News with a passion. Yet here I now am agreeing with these right wingers on these issues. Aaah! So frustrating!!😅
It's not about right vs left. It's about common sense.
You are a breath of fresh air and have restored my faith in people. Your thoughts align with my own really well.
Until recently, I have never had any issues with trans women and truly considered them to be women. Recent situations that have been reported on recently have made me feel very uncomfortable and wonder where our society is heading? As you so eloquently put it, it’s how your actions make others feel, if a small minority are making the majority feel uncomfortable through their actions then that should be challenged in a respectful way.
I completely respect how you talk so honestly about these situations. I thank you for being so open about your own transition.
To hear you acknowledge that you were born a biological man but still experience gender dysphoria is so sad. However, maybe as a result of this there is a complete honesty to you describing your thoughts and lived experience that is rational, logical, responsible and respectful to other humans.
No human deserves a lack of respect such as is being shown through a small minority of the trans population. I think that it does trans reputation harm where for the majority of trans that is not deserved. x
"Until recently, I (...) to be women."
Why? They aren't women at all! They shouldn't even be referred to by the highly misleading term "trans women".
I appreciate when places have individual bathrooms (whether called gender neutral or family bathrooms.) I feel like that’s better for those who don’t feel a communal bathroom is the best option at that time. The problem I find with this particular situation is that the lady and the girl also have a right to feel safe in that space and when asked the man gave a dismissive answer. Not cool.
We had an incident on Vancouver Island where a biological man wanted to use the women's change room and when confronted, just started screaming "I identify as a lady with a beard". He is clearly not a lady with a beard - he's a man - at least at this point. If I can find the clip I'll email it to you.
This whole thing is becoming like the thing disabled people with service dogs go through.
With service dogs, according to the ADA, people cannot question the validity of the disability OR the service animal. And people can horribly be fined or jailed, for doing so.
This trans thing here is ALMOST there now. They are trying to make questions of any sort a hate time and jailable.
Until something changes, it will just get worse.
I think as a disabled person our toilets should be left for us. We already share the space usually with baby change and dont have as many toilets to use and they're our only option we can magically manage a usual toilet just because the disabled one is busy. They were diabled people foghting for these to be implemented and have only existed aonce the 70's. However I understand why youd choose that toilet.
Changing and toilet spaces do need extending to make sure EVERYONE is safe no matter who they are. I think adding an additional toilet space that is neutral is a great idea. More shopping centres and supermarkets have more toilet units and changing one for nuetral should be easy. (Im not mad about using the disabled toilet btw but there is a history behind them which i think needs acknowledging.. our issues and fights usually get dismissed and the fact a % of us has no other toilet options 😊)
The voice of sanity. Thank you Alexis. Women have always supported trans people like you. You get it! We just struggle supporting those who exude buckets of male entitlement and push themselves into our spaces.
I work in a holiday park in NZ we have ‘open bathrooms’ for M and F, that have closed showers and toilets also a couple of closed rooms in each block (that are good to use if you can ‘pass’) that have showers and toilets so you can complete your ablutions (love that word😂) AND we also have a completely seperate room that can be used if you feel you aren’t quite ready to enter male or female spaces
Sorry my previous post was only half way through when RUclips went on to the next vid so I'm posting another one, and it is long.
This is NOT about trans people, this is about men wanting access to female spaces. A solution would be a third option of gender neutral toilets but they need to be safe for anyone and everyone. Quite specific this, but in Leicester uni library, there is a cafe with gender neutral toilets. They have a floor to ceiling brick wall between cubicles which open on to a busy corridor and a door that when closed you are in a sort of small room. In that room there is a toilet, a sink, soap, paper towels, a sanitary disposal bin.
You can pee, shave, change clothes, have a good cry - whatever and you are safe.
On the subject of male bathrooms / toilets I (5 ft nothing natal female) have used them on occasion. The first time I'd had a bit to drink and got the wrong door. The men in there could see the look on my face and one just said, "use the cubical".
The other times I have done it is when there is a long queue at the women's and I HAVE to pee due to medication. I knock on the door, ask if anyone is in there and if there is then I explain I need to pee and the only reaction I have had is a man say, 'I'll be out in a second' and once I had a man say he would 'guard the door' to stop men coming in until I was done.
Most people are good, decent people.
I'm what is known as 'Gender critical AKA a TERF. I am not transphobic, none of us are.
We know there are abusers in society. W know they can go to great lengths to abuse women and children. Abusers will fly countries like Thailand were it is easier to abuse. They will marry, either a single parent or have their own child to abuse.
In the past they have trained as teachers or priests in order to access vulnerable victims. They have become scout leaders or youth workers. Now they have this 'free pass' of saying they are trans. Still dressing as males, not taking any treatment, not having any surgery, using a male name and title.
This is why women and children need safe spaces and that is usually single sex. Men need safe spaces too, but our realities are different.
You are realistic, you know your body is male, that your chromosomes are male and it might be hurtful for me to say that (I hope it isn't) it is true. You have male body strength, you have male lungs and muscles. This is why we are campaigning for women only sports catagories.
You are such a lovely person I think you find it difficult to think that any abuser would claim to be trans, but they do.
Karen White, Isla Bryson etc IMHO are not trans, they just want to access women and / or children's spaces. Can you imagine having to share a prison cell with a rapist?
I think you might actually be a bit TERFY yourself.
All the best Alexis, you rock.
So good to have people like you in the world. Such a great advocate of the trans reality! Keep on being you.
I'm in total agreement with you on this one, the trans person should have had more introspection and realised that this was not okay! Autogynephilia is a huge problem within the transgender community.
You seem so kind and understanding. You have what my grandma used to call "a strong feminine energy".
I was actually quite touched. I work for a major UK bank and about 2 years, we had a bunch of new people starting in work. There were 2 non-binary folk joining and one gender-fluid. I’m gay and fully out at work, my employer has always been fantastically supportive at work. Not sure if HR had a bit of a panic, but everyone had inclusivity training before they started and the toilets in work were along a corridor, all male signs on one side, all female on the other. They changed the signs on the first two cubicles on each corridor to say unisex. I had conversations with some of my older colleagues and they were all terrified of pronouns and misgendering. Had to try and explain that everyone makes mistakes, but the most important thing is that they are trying to respect someone’s pronouns, and as long as they treated the non-binary/ gender fluid people the same way they treated me, like a normal person, they were golden
Unfortunately you can't tell if someone is genuinely trans or not just by looking at them. So if I see a dude in a women's locker room, I *will* assume that HE is a creep, no matter what they might say. On the other hand, I would have absolutely no problem with someone female passing in the locker. I firmly agree that there should be a separate space for people in the middle of their transitioning, it would save so much hurt on both sides - because I can't imagine a group of women being outraged and fearful of you would be great to anyone's mental health.
The problem is these policies give predators a free pass, see the recent arrest in Atlanta where a man with a history of predator behavior walked into a PF and said "I'm trans" where he was immediately given access to the women's bathroom where he promptly began exposing himself to underage girls, or the even more horrific case in Canada where a man with a history of violent assaults on women said "I am trans" and was given access to a battered women's shelter where he you guessed it, assaulted a woman.
Cis woman assult cis woman all the time. It's not a transgender issue.
In a resteraunt in Tenerife there was a female , male toilet and one seperate single toilet marked female /male seemed a pretty good solution to avoid confusion and helped with queuing.
I’d love to see a gender neutral restroom. Especially for mothers/grandmothers taking the opposite gender child to the restroom. For example, when my grandson was 7, he felt like he was too old to go in my restroom, but didn’t want to go into a public restroom alone either. Thanks for your content, Alexis. I really like your point of view on these issues.
I thank you and applaud you for your honesty and your sensible approach to this subject. Women don’t mind a genuinely trans person and quietly minding their own business, it’s people like the guy in the photograph is intimidating…
I dislike my university for having replaced the gender divided bathrooms for neutrals ones. I would have NO problem whatsoever had they ADDED those to the building(s), but replacing them is what irks me. I think you're right that adding gender neutral spaces are a missed opportunity for lots of places, even if it was (also) just used by some women tired of queuing for the women's bathroom lol!
Yes this is the fitness video I was talking about.thank you for looking at it and giving us your opinion on it. And thank you for being respectful and so nice. Love that outfit.you are rocking it today and look so beautiful.
I wish everyone acted as rationally and gracefully as you do. You are obviously a charming, gentle person, and your videos show what a sensible, considerate person you are, also.
If every trans person was like you, we would have NO issues. Bless your kind heart and consideration.
The sad thing no body will say anything, but a mother just got fine for her two year old son pee by a tree.. because the park bathrooms were close and needed repair.
I agree with your thoughtful comments. Sadly this type of behaviour sets back acceptance of trans people within society. The individual concerned's claim to be trans seems dubious at best. They have made no effort to look female. Why? You have to question their motives?
I honestly I am questioning if that even is a trans woman.
Like I know we all start somewhere but come on nothing is feminine about that person and they chose to shave their face in the women's room. If I was a trans woman in the early stage I wouldn't shave in there, because I know damn well a situation like this could happen or I could be beaten.
For all we know that could just be a conservative man thinking that he's making a "point". As much as I don't like the idea of policing in our community especially since it can get toxic, we need to as a community to point out this shit.
Just amazes me that how easy it is for men, even men not trying to become a woman, still looking and acting like a man, can mearly say the 4 words 'i am a woman', gives them full rights and entitlement then to go into womens spaces, as well as be allowed to infultrate into womans sport and womens competitions. The words 'i am a woman' seem so powerful, and they know these rights in law can allow them to manipulated and protect themselves. Sadly the law's and said organisations are not also considering and addressing women and vulnerable girls rights.😮 Genuine transgender women are more level headed and not under any delusion, they respect women and are more understanding, they are more analytical and understand the reasoning behind gender neutral spaces, and respect them. Like Alexis, she is a beautiful and elegant transwoman and no woman would feel uncomfortable with her in biological womans spaces. She has fully transitioned into a woman and has earned that right. Transwoman who have not fully transitioned, ie still with male parts, obviously women and girls would feel uncomfortable if they undressed in view, any female would; as well as transwoman still looking like men. After full transition and when transwomen actually are fitting in, the majority of women and young girls, would probably not be concerned. But a fully functional man, plus a man who still looks and acts like a man, them 4 words 'i am a woman' doesnt cut it. The lack of respect for women and young girls and demanding to use their spaces, shows alot of disrespect; disreguard, and entitlement. Its very questionable as to why they believe their rights should be prioritised over the vulnerability; stress; anxiety; fear or arguments, it will lead to with the women/young girls/female children, while in female spaces. The rights of men being allowed to enter female spaces by mearly stating 'i am a woman' has opened up a rabbit hole of manipulation of power/control; predatory and sexual behaviour!
Unfortunately there isn't a clear way to seperate who is sincere and safe and who is taking advantage/potentially dangerous. For the safety of women and girls, we have to air on the side caution. Thank you Alexis for being kind and aware. We just have to do third spaces.
Alexis, I have been trying to push you and Liam as being sensible when it comes to these issues. Especially when it comes to children and the protection of their rights and feeling comfortable.