This was fantastic. Leave it to you to take a nauseating, entirely exploitative move by a bunch of morons and turn it into something like this, a passionately articulate call for intelligence and open-mindedness. Truly, truly impressive - thank you.
I'm so sorry you had to deal with that Jen, how awful on every level. I feel so lucky we have YOUR voice, unfiltered by any idiots from the media, here on RUclips. You are AWESOME. Way to be. 👍
I really don't know what to say... I shouldn't be shocked, I'm disabled myself and I know how society can be, and yet I still find myself shocked. I'm struggling to find words right now but just wanted to comment to say thank you for this video, I always appreciate your openness because I still struggle to be so open but I'm getting there slowly. Also, re the very end of your video - you absolutely deserve a gold star for that restraint!
+Hayley RatherTooFondofBooks Thanks, Hayley; I think we're all quite good at normalising the things that happen to us, and when we see it happen to others we can see it for how wrong it really is xx
I can't begin to imagine how frustrating communications like that must be, it's like the cherry on the cake of every day discrimination. Sorry you had to experience this 💕
My dear Jen. I do not live in the UK, so I had to google UK's dating shows. When I discovered the title of this shit, I felt something burn inside me which has still not ebbed. How dare they! I am appaled by the mere existence of such a thing and profoundly shocked that it is televisioned and people who make it doesn't seem to be utterly ashamed. You are daily in my thoughts, inspiring me to be better. Heaps of love from Brazil
the next video RUclips suggested after this one was your Be a Good Human Tag video, which is exactly what i think those tv network people need to see right now. Jen, you're so eloquent and cool and i admire you a lot for just being yourself. keep up the amazing work of inspiring everyone you come in contact with :)
"I very nearly replied to the email with if I had middle fingers I'd be using them but I didn't and that's called restraint" love it. You spoke so well, this video is so important, sending you lots of love
Oh my god, Jen. I'm so sorry that happened to you. But I must say you handled it so very well. Thank you for making this video. It's an important one. P.S.: You sure do deserve a gold star. I would love to see their reaction, though.
I've been watching your videos for a while now, but this is the one that has blown me out of the water. You come across as very intelligent with everything you say, and I honestly agree with every aspect. The way that you are so honest is very powerful here, and I'm really glad that you made this video. Thank you
I totally know the show you're talking about because we talked about it in class and how problematic it is. I had a really, really strong opinion on it and I was incredible insulted about how the show was made and the people on there are being portrayed. To be honest, I'm disgusted that a show like that even exist. I do also feel strongly about the fact that they just assume you are single because you have a deformity, which, for me, shows their limited views. Thanks for speaking up, Jen!
I hope you don't mind me saying but I love watching your videos because you seem so wise and insightful and I love learning from you and listening to your perspective. I'm sorry you had this experience. xx
I don't watch booktubers, but my wife does. I overheard her watching this video and had to give it a watch myself. I'm very glad I did. I listened, and I hope others do as well.
I am sorry that this happened to you. I was actually approached once (through courchsurfing) to take part in a similar tvshow. They messaged me telling me that I was apparently open minded and would I be interested in participating in a dating tv show that pairs able bodied people with people with disabilities or such... it goes without saying that i never replied to them but I find it ... almost umbelievable that those shows exist.
I dont mean to be offtopic but does anybody know of a way to get back into an Instagram account?? I somehow forgot the login password. I appreciate any help you can give me.
I honestly have no clue that this show is, but I am very thankful of this and so very sorry that you had this experience. As always, good on you for being yourself, for speaking your mind and for never not fighting for what's right. And f*** these arseholes and the utter, utter nonsense they bring into an already nonsense world.
I am so pleased that you're speaking out about this. When shows like this were first advertised I was honestly very disgusted at the ignorance of some people. I still find it hard to believe that they are allowed, or even want to create a show that so clearly relies on exploiting those who 'don't fall into the norm'. It's incredibly discouraging to anyone who already struggles with their body image and I wholeheartedly agree that shows like these are nothing more than a modern day freak show, built on the assumption that disabled people couldn't possibly find love. I wish there were someway we could stop them, I'd be more than happy to help!
You could send the production company an email to let them know that you disagree with their show. If you Google key words you will find them (the main two are actually produced by the same company).
This discussion is so important. I remember when this particular show started being advertised and I thought it was disgusting, I can't believe it's allowed to exist
I googled the show name and watched some clips of it, since I'm not from the UK. Honestly, I was dumbstruck and appalled. It came across like they were mocking and exploiting people with disabilities like a modern day freak show. The fact that there were compilation videos with the funniest moments made up with only clips mocking the contestants pissed me off even more. While I am able-bodied, I have autism and OCD. Seeing a show like this mock people with disabilities, both mental and psychical, pissed me off a lot, especially since it hit close to home. I know this is an old video and all, but I'm sorry you had to go through that. Good on you for standing up to those exploitative idiots. (As a side note, only leave it up to those idiots to automatically assume that you were single, despite being in a relationship, just because you have a disability. It's almost as if people with disabilities are normal people and can find happy, fulfilling relationships without these stupid dating shows or something.)
Jen, thank you. This video is what should be aired on television, not something that conceals reinforcement of prejudice behind the promise of representation.
You have every right to be angry. Kudos on using your anger in a positive and educational way. I loved "just general representation not because they have x, y or z, but because they're just there and they're part of the story." Hopefully some day we'll get there!
This video made me feel ill. I came from your "looking back on 2016". I am a relatively new subscriber, and therefore hadn't seen this video when it was published. I just felt like letting you know, that you have given me back the joy of reading, that has been lost for me for some time. Hopefully I can one day be as clever, talented and well spoken as you! all the best - and lots of bookish love from Denmark :)
Geez I am getting so angry with the production company here !! I am the mum of a son with special needs and am very passionate about how to treat people with respect. Good for you with your response. Now I will go calm down.
Jen, I have so much respect for your integrity and intelligence. Your insight and your courage to speak up is inspiring and so important. If only more people were like you!
Hi Jen, I am a disabled person in an able-bodied family and my mother wanted me to date a disabled person because I would share a perspective with my boyfriend and we’d both ‘know what it was like.’ I felt she had no business commenting on that - or on who I date - when she isn’t disabled herself. Just because I have a disability doesn’t mean I have to seek out friends or partners who do, too. Disability never factors into my decision to befriend or date someone, and I am much more concerned with a person’s values, intelligence, personality, etc. I have dated men with disabilities, but I didn’t choose them because of it. I used to flip out on people when they asked me about my disability. I got very defensive and angry. Now, as an older person, I do what you did when you were little. I don’t say anything. I take in all the crap from people. I’ve stopped fighting back and I just take it. I think it’s also a result of having lived in England. I’m a lot more quiet and reserved now, and I don’t speak up and say anything or defend myself when people are rude or hurtful to me. Thanks for posting this. It really helped me a lot. Norah
There are not enough like buttons for this video. I have a disability and once had someone, that I was arguing with, tell me that if I wanted to receive a transplant, I shouldn't be angry with people because my life depends on them. I love Jen!!! I know exactly how you feel about being nice and quiet and holding on to the hope that if you just "blank" people will _______...I grew up that way and am still dealing with it today. I hope today finds you better!!
your response to the situation is brave and powerful. also inspiring. my dad is in a wheelchair and imagining him on a stupid show like that...it makes me so..i cant even describe it. i have no words for it. i hope your day and week get better and that you can find loads of reasons to smile and forget about this :)
I was so horrified when I saw this on your Facebook. It absolutely leaves me speechless. I've been contacted several times over the years from programmes that want to use my size to humiliate me and feed me to the lions and they just can't understand why I wouldn't be ok with that kind of exploitation! xxx
I am sorry to hear that you had to deal with a shallow-minded, manipulative media this week, Jen, but you are always a source of strength and inspiration. Preach on because your voice is appreciated!
Thank you so much Jen, for standing up so very boldly to this crappy media. Hollyweird here have a couple of similar shows. My having extreme scoliosis and osteo degenerative disease , shows like this make me very ulcer laden. Thank You for being so inspiring by standing up for disabled people. Watching it all, I have to say an absolute AMEN!!
Wow Jen, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. It's seriously messed up. This video was very informative. As a minority myself I know what it's like to have very limited media representation in the media, most of which is negative or outright harmful. I tend to forget that there are so many other groups that are misrepresented or not seen in the media at all. Thank you so much for making this video, it made me more self aware of my own lack of consideration or limited outlook. I've watched your videos for a while and I think the fact that you're out on youtube making it a brighter place with your intelligence, nuanced takes on books and just being an invaluable asset to booktube because of how unique your book choices are is making great strides in positively representing people with disabilities. So screw that TV show. The name is so offensive! I can't believe it's allowed on air. Hopefully this video will make more people realise how harmful shows like that can be and make them re-evaluate what they see as acceptable behaviour. Stay awesome. Sending you lots of love and positive vibes
I'm glad you decided to make this video. I think it's quite important to discuss these problems. It's the only way we can change things, by talking about them.
Thank you for this video Jen. I used to watch that show every so often and I feel like I was ignoring the problems with it and I now see how awful it actually is. I never engaged with it on social media and ugh those responses. I was completely blind to all of this. Thank you for opening my eyes! Have a lovely day!
This shows the cynicism in the 'old' media space. What is good is that it can now be exposed across social media as a great feedback loop. Great respect to you.
Jen! I'm so sorry about this. You are so very wise and your response was amazing. Thank you for making this video. I'm sorry they invaded your time and space. Love you lots! X
Absolutely, gold stars all over I say. I think it's so very important to be public ally angry about incidents like this and issues which some people are able to ignore. I thought your anger was measured, appropriate and well-structured- not that it -should- be that way but it helped to really argue the point home. That show is something I've always been able to ignore but this means when other people talk about watching it I haven't really been able to take a stance. This helped inform me about a well-reasoned opinion on a show I still very much have no desire to give time to!
this is a such an inspirational video!! it is disgusting that things like this still occur and society have not realised that the truth is never really portrayed correctly through television.... you are a credit!! xx
I just gotta say that you are my favourite person right now! I want to thank you for talking so openly about a subject, that the majority of people (including me) don't know enough about. I have always been inspired by your bookish stuff, but this is a whole league of its own. Thank you!
I knew exactly what show you were talking about when you mentioned it. I have never been able to watch it because I've always thought how sad it was that these people were being exploited, people think it's a joke and it's really not. You're a wonderful person and you had every right to be angry.
I always love hearing you talk so passionately and compassionately about deformity, disability, and difference. It's something that I feel (sadly) so many people need to REALLY hear, and I can only hope that this video helps those still in need of understanding, and provides comfort to those in need of support (plus making you feel better by just getting all this shit out of your head!) Love you, darling xx PS: banner Sex and the City reference, really. ON. POINT.
Wonderful video. I'm so glad I came across it. I am a disabled booktuber as well and this video is so important. I'm so sorry that this happened to you!! Just hearing the story made my blood boil with anger! I feel VERY strongly about how disabilities are represented in the media. I don't blame you for being upset. I just try to educate people as much as I can, but I'm only one person. We have to stick together. :)
You preach woman! I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I'm very impressed that you managed to keep your cool in this and not name and shame. You're the best xxx
I'm so sorry to hear about this. I'm really glad you shared your experience with us, I don't understand why it is so difficult to treat everyone with respect and kindness. This programme only seems to foster (and justify) hate. I'm so pleased you decided to make this video, thank you.
Thank you Jen for deciding to make this video. I don't really finde the words to explain how much you inspired me and helped me acknowledging things, seeing things, understanding the importance of just listening and finding at least some courage to speak up and not just being nice to be "liked" since I started watching your videos. Thank you, for not letting them get away with that and for using your anger for (once again) educating me and making me think and think again. Sending love.
Thank you, Jen. This was really wonderful, and vulnerable, and enlightening. I'm glad that RUclips exists so that there is a place for your voice (and other voices as well)!
Your videos about stuff like this really open my eyes. I never really thought about that show in that way. I'm actually amazed at how little thought I've given to these sorts of things considering I have a deformity myself. I love hearing your point of view. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing your experience, I'm sorry you had to go through this. I'm sorry this TV show even exists! Someone I know actually appeared in a different 'let's laugh at people who aren't "normal"' documentary-cum-dating-show and they described the whole production as extremely manipulative. Luckily they have a strong will and personality so they were able to refuse to go along with what the production company wanted. I can imagine quite easily that most people would end up being pressured or convinced to do things they weren't comfortable with. It's sickening that people think this is acceptable in the name of entertainment.
Thank you for sharing this! I think the worst part of these shows (or similar medis contents) is that the people making it actually believe -or tell themselves - that they are doing something 'good', i.e. helping those poor, poor (undateable!) people with a disablity/deformity. It's this false sense of goodness that is impossible to bear. Anyway, I admire the way you can contain your anger and talk about it so eloquently. (I probably would have resorted to something violent... and illegal...which wouldn't have done any good, I know...).
+Britta Böhler Yes, it is - because they can always back up what they do with it, or talk themselves into ridiculous situations. It's the outcome and execution that's important, not just the intention, and it baffles me xx
I've never seen your vids before until a friend linked this vid on facebook. Thank goodness she did. I watched this just at the right time. Brilliant. Thank you Jen.
OMG GOLD STAR^100!!!! I'm so incredibly pleased with how eloquently and feelingly you've talked about such an extremely important thing! I feel rather strange surrounded by such lovely logical comments, but seeing this finally dealt with and talked about, when most people haven't any idea, is just sending me into squirms of joy. Thanks so much!
Great video, Jen, and this proposition was so out of place. The world we live in is a beautiful place, but part of it is really fucked up. I absolute agree about what you've said and those type of shows are made only for a shock factor for "normal" audience to watch. It scandalises the groups that should be visible accepted, and listened part of society.
Jen, you are amazing, your ability to communicate your feelings (even though your angry and frustrated) is clear and controlled, i am not sure that i would be able to present an argument so well! I love your videos both about books and those too about deformity and even politics. I hope that more people find their way to your channel as i think your an amazing speaker accessible to all! I started watching your videos last year and look forward to all the content you make in 2017. :) Happy new year and i hope you have a wonderful year yourself with lots of health and happiness ( and some enjoyable walks & reading) Emily x
I am so sorry and angry that this happened to you. I have a heart disease and while this is an 'invisible' disability, I hate attitudes that still exist around disability. The number of times I've had people try to explain to me that I don't really have a disability, or that I should grateful it doesn't show... How about treat people as people? Ableism tries to paint disabled people as lesser through scare tactics or by pitying us, and I definitely agree that the media and capitalism feed off and perpetuate this. You are amazing though, keep fighting the good fight - it's shit we have to fight it, but you're not alone!
I 100% agree with all the points you raised. When this show first came out I remember being very shocked with the title and wondering if I was being over sensitive as others didn't seem to care as much. I find it sad that the we live in 2016 and titles like the one of the show exist.
You are simply amazing!!!! I agree with everything you said! So insightful and well put, thank you so much for posting this. Having an invisible disability M.E , i know how utterly misrepresented and downright patronizing the way in which the media can portray anyone with a disability, visible or not. Thank you again :)
This. This right here is. So. Important! Thank you for sharing about this experience, Jen! I'm so sorry you had to encounter it! Sending lots of love and support and all the gold stars :D
This video has such an important message and I'm so glad you took the time to make it. I am so sorry that you had to go through such insensitivity and I'm glad you have risen above and used your platform to push back. Keep doing what you are doing!
This video is so important, and I am so sorry that TV shows like that one exist. When I see them it makes me furious! Thank you for this video Jen, I will share it all day everyday.
I've been a subscriber to your channel for I think a couple of years now and this video has been on my to watch list since it was published (my to watch list is massively back logged - I had over 1300 videos on there). I'm currently working my way through my to watch list and, whilst I don't normally comment on videos, I have to say I'm so glad I finally watched this because it has to be the best video on RUclips and I will be urging everyone I know to watch it. x
This is such an important video. I can imagine how frustrating it must have been to realise that the first email wasn't really what it claimed to be, and I thought your reply was perfect. I hope that the right people see this video, and start listening.
I don't really have anything to say, I just felt the need to comment because everything you said was brilliant. You are handling this so well and you deserve to have a separate TV show where everyone praises your amazing intellect
The way you made this video to call attention to this.. amazing! More power to you! Thank you so much for talking about this and I'm really sorry you had to experience that awfulness. x
Jen you are such a great woman. You have taught me so much, your book video's are just perfect. But I love it so much that you talk about important subjects like this!
This was so great. I'm so sorry you had to deal with something like that, but you are just fantastic. This video is so important, thank you for making it!
Thank you for voicing all of my muddled thoughts in such a coherent manner. I have had very similar experiences. This video is much needed and I'm sharing it on all my social media!! X
I don't comment much, mainly because I'm worried about saying the right thing or that my words would be misinterpreted. But I am truly sorry they stole your day. I hope you know that listening to your voice and your thoughts and your perspective has made my day (and so many of your viewers') on countless occasions... and I am very grateful for that. Thank you always always for your content.
Hi, this is the first video I've watched on your channel, and I'm very excited to see more. I actually received your "Weird Things" book as a gift when I used to work in a bookshop, and I love it! Not really related to the topic you discuss in this video, but I was so pleasantly surprised to see that you're the author of one of my favorite books.
Not living in the UK, I don't know what the show is called, but I'm really sorry this happened to you. I know that's not a very helpful sentiment in this circumstance, but you're always an inspiration, whether or not you're talking books. Lots of love from across the pond
I bet it's the BBC. They are complete fools by twisting everything from disability to faith. They approached a member of my family thank God they asked for my advice I said I would not do it if I was them and they didn't. Later the show was twisting the truth. I think it's owned by murdoc the bigot. Jen they are creeps I'd always decline.
Sometimes.I naively think we have all come along way...and then I realise we still have a long long way to go. Sending a hug across the ocean to you. x
I definitely agree that you deserve a gold star for restraint! :) I'm not sure I would have both the courage to speak out the way you have here, and the restraint to not completely go off the deep end. I also had no idea that shows like this existed, though really I shouldn't be surprised with the other shows on TV "featuring" people with disabilities and deformities, to say nothing of reality TV more generally. It just absolutely disgusts me that aside from exploiting the people who are actually in the show and playing up to society's nastier and more patronizing elements, shows like this, whatever identity or identities they're exploiting, inevitably feed into the self-image of people with those identities. It's disgraceful and it pisses me off. Anyway, now I'm angry at 4:30 in the morning when I'm meant to be cleaning, so I'll go do that (perhaps my anger will make me clean faster?), but thank you for putting your badass self out into the world as usual.
Hi Jen, wow your video touches on so many issues it is hard to know where to start really. Firstly thank you for making this video.I really appreciate it. I am sorry that you have been upset. My thoughts on the matter are as follows. I agree that we have come a long way , I grew up in the early 70 s and things were really horrendous. I come from a very working class background and was made aware of a lot of sexist, racist ideas in society at that time ( a lot from teachers I am sorry to say ). Since then things have changed quite rapidly. I also agree with you that we have a quite arrogant assumption that in 2016 we are more enlightened than we actually are. The TV company you talk about I assume make their programme because they are relatively cheap to produce (no actors, no script etc etc ) but they coat their actions with a blanket of false concern for others. I think people react to people who are not like themselves out of fear (if everyone is ridiculing that person , no one is looking at me sort of thing ) and I am not sure how to combat that except by making people from different sections of society more visible. I am glad it made you angry though because your anger made you make this video and I am sure this video will have much more of an effect than you even realise. Anger is also a great motivator.(well that is how I like to use anger in my life ) I am bedbound now because of an illness I got about 3 years ago. At one point I could use a wheelchair and I was shocked at how people thought my intellect had disappeared with my ability to walk. I watch your videos a lot and, as I am coming to terms with the change of direction my life has taken, you have inspired me to use my voice and intelligence to try and counteract the ignorance and fear surrounding disability. so here is a big thank you ...THANK YOU. Also I find as you get older your idiot tolerance gets less as you realise just how many idiots there are !! I loved your last comments especially , a sense of humour helps does nt it ? any way I am still thinking of how to use my voice so watch ths space... but thank you for the example you are setting , much love Deb
+Vintage Reader Reads "At one point I could use a wheelchair and I was shocked at how people thought my intellect had disappeared with my ability to walk." This. This. This. Sending love - and thank you xx
You deserve all the gold stars. Feel angry and upset - You were violated and have every right to feel that way. There are ignorant, awful fucks walking this earth but there are also all these people right here on your channel who embrace the 'other', who are the 'other' and we love you. Here's a story... My sister and I went to a very small, very conservative school and she was told by an old white male teacher that she was holding her pen 'wrong'. She replied that it was simply how she held pens, she had a disability. He told her "that was no excuse. Hold it properly". My sister burst into tears of course. And her 14 year old class mates? They picked her up and walked out of class in protest to this disgusting behaviour. For every scum filled dickhead in the world there are 20 beautiful souls who will not (sometimes quite literally) stand for it. We'll be your souls to pick you up. PS sorry for the swearing but we all know I have a sailor's vocabulary and I really couldn't help myself ; )
Jen you're amazing and articulate and wonderful and I'm so bloody glad you made this video. I hope it made you feel better about the whole experience and you are doing a wonderful job of raising voices and making brilliant, interesting, and considerate content. I love your stuff and I appreciate everything you do. Love, Grace
I am a new follower of yours and will say I normally don't watch videos over 15 minutes long but on a whim decided to watch yours and I am so glad I did. My initial reaction is well done and well spoken both in your responses to the company and doing this video. I hope it goes super viral and has the wheels to push shows like that off the airwaves for good.
HOW DARE THEY??? I think I know the show and it's not making justice to the people they try to "represent". Shows like these are the reason I don't have a TV at home. I am so sorry you had to go through this.
This should be a TEDx talk
This was fantastic. Leave it to you to take a nauseating, entirely exploitative move by a bunch of morons and turn it into something like this, a passionately articulate call for intelligence and open-mindedness. Truly, truly impressive - thank you.
+Steve Donoghue Thanks, Steve x
I'm so sorry you had to deal with that Jen, how awful on every level. I feel so lucky we have YOUR voice, unfiltered by any idiots from the media, here on RUclips. You are AWESOME. Way to be. 👍
+BookishPrincess xxx
Practically threw my hands in the air when you said as if people need to be beautiful to be valid 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻 THANK YOU.
+amyamyamy17 So welcome ^_^ xx
I really don't know what to say... I shouldn't be shocked, I'm disabled myself and I know how society can be, and yet I still find myself shocked. I'm struggling to find words right now but just wanted to comment to say thank you for this video, I always appreciate your openness because I still struggle to be so open but I'm getting there slowly. Also, re the very end of your video - you absolutely deserve a gold star for that restraint!
+Hayley RatherTooFondofBooks Thanks, Hayley; I think we're all quite good at normalising the things that happen to us, and when we see it happen to others we can see it for how wrong it really is xx
I can't begin to imagine how frustrating communications like that must be, it's like the cherry on the cake of every day discrimination. Sorry you had to experience this 💕
+meowitslucy Thanks, Lucy xxxx
My dear Jen.
I do not live in the UK, so I had to google UK's dating shows. When I discovered the title of this shit, I felt something burn inside me which has still not ebbed. How dare they! I am appaled by the mere existence of such a thing and profoundly shocked that it is televisioned and people who make it doesn't seem to be utterly ashamed.
You are daily in my thoughts, inspiring me to be better.
Heaps of love from Brazil
+acvenga Thank you x
the next video RUclips suggested after this one was your Be a Good Human Tag video, which is exactly what i think those tv network people need to see right now.
Jen, you're so eloquent and cool and i admire you a lot for just being yourself. keep up the amazing work of inspiring everyone you come in contact with :)
+WellDoneBooks Thanks, Max, sending lots of love across the pond. xx
"I very nearly replied to the email with if I had middle fingers I'd be using them but I didn't and that's called restraint" love it. You spoke so well, this video is so important, sending you lots of love
Oh my god, Jen. I'm so sorry that happened to you. But I must say you handled it so very well. Thank you for making this video. It's an important one.
P.S.: You sure do deserve a gold star. I would love to see their reaction, though.
I've been watching your videos for a while now, but this is the one that has blown me out of the water. You come across as very intelligent with everything you say, and I honestly agree with every aspect. The way that you are so honest is very powerful here, and I'm really glad that you made this video. Thank you
Thank you xx
Jen, I do hope that people listen to this video. It's exactly what people need to hear and learn from xxx
Jen, you're bloody awesome. That is all.
I totally know the show you're talking about because we talked about it in class and how problematic it is.
I had a really, really strong opinion on it and I was incredible insulted about how the show was made and the people on there are being portrayed. To be honest, I'm disgusted that a show like that even exist.
I do also feel strongly about the fact that they just assume you are single because you have a deformity, which, for me, shows their limited views.
Thanks for speaking up, Jen!
This video is extremely important.
I hope you don't mind me saying but I love watching your videos because you seem so wise and insightful and I love learning from you and listening to your perspective. I'm sorry you had this experience. xx
"Nothing about us, without us, is for us"
The worse is that they think they're making people a favor!
I don't watch booktubers, but my wife does. I overheard her watching this video and had to give it a watch myself. I'm very glad I did. I listened, and I hope others do as well.
+Jacob Reeb (JacobReebArt) Thank you, Jacob :)
I am sorry that this happened to you. I was actually approached once (through courchsurfing) to take part in a similar tvshow. They messaged me telling me that I was apparently open minded and would I be interested in participating in a dating tv show that pairs able bodied people with people with disabilities or such... it goes without saying that i never replied to them but I find it ... almost umbelievable that those shows exist.
+Antastesia gaaaaah, so many things wrong with the world. You are not one of those things xxxxx
I dont mean to be offtopic but does anybody know of a way to get back into an Instagram account??
I somehow forgot the login password. I appreciate any help you can give me.
your discussion videos are always so wonderful. i'm glad you decided to make this. x
I honestly have no clue that this show is, but I am very thankful of this and so very sorry that you had this experience. As always, good on you for being yourself, for speaking your mind and for never not fighting for what's right. And f*** these arseholes and the utter, utter nonsense they bring into an already nonsense world.
+NEHOMAS2 Thank you xx
I am so pleased that you're speaking out about this. When shows like this were first advertised I was honestly very disgusted at the ignorance of some people. I still find it hard to believe that they are allowed, or even want to create a show that so clearly relies on exploiting those who 'don't fall into the norm'. It's incredibly discouraging to anyone who already struggles with their body image and I wholeheartedly agree that shows like these are nothing more than a modern day freak show, built on the assumption that disabled people couldn't possibly find love. I wish there were someway we could stop them, I'd be more than happy to help!
You could send the production company an email to let them know that you disagree with their show. If you Google key words you will find them (the main two are actually produced by the same company).
This discussion is so important. I remember when this particular show started being advertised and I thought it was disgusting, I can't believe it's allowed to exist
I googled the show name and watched some clips of it, since I'm not from the UK. Honestly, I was dumbstruck and appalled. It came across like they were mocking and exploiting people with disabilities like a modern day freak show. The fact that there were compilation videos with the funniest moments made up with only clips mocking the contestants pissed me off even more. While I am able-bodied, I have autism and OCD. Seeing a show like this mock people with disabilities, both mental and psychical, pissed me off a lot, especially since it hit close to home. I know this is an old video and all, but I'm sorry you had to go through that. Good on you for standing up to those exploitative idiots. (As a side note, only leave it up to those idiots to automatically assume that you were single, despite being in a relationship, just because you have a disability. It's almost as if people with disabilities are normal people and can find happy, fulfilling relationships without these stupid dating shows or something.)
Jen, thank you. This video is what should be aired on television, not something that conceals reinforcement of prejudice behind the promise of representation.
You have every right to be angry. Kudos on using your anger in a positive and educational way. I loved "just general representation not because they have x, y or z, but because they're just there and they're part of the story." Hopefully some day we'll get there!
This video made me feel ill. I came from your "looking back on 2016". I am a relatively new subscriber, and therefore hadn't seen this video when it was published. I just felt like letting you know, that you have given me back the joy of reading, that has been lost for me for some time. Hopefully I can one day be as clever, talented and well spoken as you! all the best - and lots of bookish love from Denmark :)
thank you - lots of love to you, too x
Geez I am getting so angry with the production company here !!
I am the mum of a son with special needs and am very passionate about how to treat people with respect.
Good for you with your response.
Now I will go calm down.
Jen, I have so much respect for your integrity and intelligence. Your insight and your courage to speak up is inspiring and so important. If only more people were like you!
I'm eating this shoveling ice cream into my face going "oh my God they did NOT"
and I died laughing at the Ferbie reference
Hi Jen,
I am a disabled person in an able-bodied family and my mother wanted me to date a disabled person because I would share a perspective with my boyfriend and we’d both ‘know what it was like.’ I felt she had no business commenting on that - or on who I date - when she isn’t disabled herself. Just because I have a disability doesn’t mean I have to seek out friends or partners who do, too. Disability never factors into my decision to befriend or date someone, and I am much more concerned with a person’s values, intelligence, personality, etc. I have dated men with disabilities, but I didn’t choose them because of it.
I used to flip out on people when they asked me about my disability. I got very defensive and angry. Now, as an older person, I do what you did when you were little. I don’t say anything. I take in all the crap from people. I’ve stopped fighting back and I just take it. I think it’s also a result of having lived in England. I’m a lot more quiet and reserved now, and I don’t speak up and say anything or defend myself when people are rude or hurtful to me.
Thanks for posting this. It really helped me a lot.
Norah
There are not enough like buttons for this video. I have a disability and once had someone, that I was arguing with, tell me that if I wanted to receive a transplant, I shouldn't be angry with people because my life depends on them. I love Jen!!! I know exactly how you feel about being nice and quiet and holding on to the hope that if you just "blank" people will _______...I grew up that way and am still dealing with it today. I hope today finds you better!!
+heather s Thank you, Heather x
your response to the situation is brave and powerful. also inspiring. my dad is in a wheelchair and imagining him on a stupid show like that...it makes me so..i cant even describe it. i have no words for it. i hope your day and week get better and that you can find loads of reasons to smile and forget about this :)
I was so horrified when I saw this on your Facebook. It absolutely leaves me speechless.
I've been contacted several times over the years from programmes that want to use my size to humiliate me and feed me to the lions and they just can't understand why I wouldn't be ok with that kind of exploitation! xxx
I am sorry to hear that you had to deal with a shallow-minded, manipulative media this week, Jen, but you are always a source of strength and inspiration. Preach on because your voice is appreciated!
Thank you so much Jen, for standing up so very boldly to this crappy media. Hollyweird here have a couple of similar shows. My having extreme scoliosis and osteo degenerative disease , shows like this make me very ulcer laden. Thank You for being so inspiring by standing up for disabled people. Watching it all, I have to say an absolute AMEN!!
Well said, you are amazing.
Your restraint is admirable - and greater than mine would be! Sending all the gold stars!
Wow Jen, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. It's seriously messed up. This video was very informative. As a minority myself I know what it's like to have very limited media representation in the media, most of which is negative or outright harmful. I tend to forget that there are so many other groups that are misrepresented or not seen in the media at all. Thank you so much for making this video, it made me more self aware of my own lack of consideration or limited outlook. I've watched your videos for a while and I think the fact that you're out on youtube making it a brighter place with your intelligence, nuanced takes on books and just being an invaluable asset to booktube because of how unique your book choices are is making great strides in positively representing people with disabilities. So screw that TV show. The name is so offensive! I can't believe it's allowed on air. Hopefully this video will make more people realise how harmful shows like that can be and make them re-evaluate what they see as acceptable behaviour. Stay awesome. Sending you lots of love and positive vibes
+nomadic bookcorner thank you. Sending lots of love to you, too xxxx
I'm glad you decided to make this video. I think it's quite important to discuss these problems. It's the only way we can change things, by talking about them.
Thank you for this video Jen. I used to watch that show every so often and I feel like I was ignoring the problems with it and I now see how awful it actually is. I never engaged with it on social media and ugh those responses. I was completely blind to all of this. Thank you for opening my eyes! Have a lovely day!
This shows the cynicism in the 'old' media space. What is good is that it can now be exposed across social media as a great feedback loop. Great respect to you.
Jen! I'm so sorry about this. You are so very wise and your response was amazing. Thank you for making this video. I'm sorry they invaded your time and space. Love you lots! X
Absolutely, gold stars all over I say. I think it's so very important to be public ally angry about incidents like this and issues which some people are able to ignore. I thought your anger was measured, appropriate and well-structured- not that it -should- be that way but it helped to really argue the point home. That show is something I've always been able to ignore but this means when other people talk about watching it I haven't really been able to take a stance. This helped inform me about a well-reasoned opinion on a show I still very much have no desire to give time to!
+theuncommonviewer :) thank you x
Thank you for making this video, Jen. I'm so glad you exist!
this is a such an inspirational video!! it is disgusting that things like this still occur and society have not realised that the truth is never really portrayed correctly through television.... you are a credit!! xx
I just gotta say that you are my favourite person right now! I want to thank you for talking so openly about a subject, that the majority of people (including me) don't know enough about. I have always been inspired by your bookish stuff, but this is a whole league of its own. Thank you!
+Kalalalatja You're welcome :) and thank you. x
I knew exactly what show you were talking about when you mentioned it. I have never been able to watch it because I've always thought how sad it was that these people were being exploited, people think it's a joke and it's really not. You're a wonderful person and you had every right to be angry.
I always love hearing you talk so passionately and compassionately about deformity, disability, and difference. It's something that I feel (sadly) so many people need to REALLY hear, and I can only hope that this video helps those still in need of understanding, and provides comfort to those in need of support (plus making you feel better by just getting all this shit out of your head!) Love you, darling xx
PS: banner Sex and the City reference, really. ON. POINT.
+TheReadingOutlaw Love you too - very much :) xxxx
Wonderful video. I'm so glad I came across it. I am a disabled booktuber as well and this video is so important. I'm so sorry that this happened to you!! Just hearing the story made my blood boil with anger! I feel VERY strongly about how disabilities are represented in the media. I don't blame you for being upset. I just try to educate people as much as I can, but I'm only one person. We have to stick together. :)
You preach woman! I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I'm very impressed that you managed to keep your cool in this and not name and shame. You're the best xxx
+Holly Dunn Design xxxx
I'm so sorry to hear about this. I'm really glad you shared your experience with us, I don't understand why it is so difficult to treat everyone with respect and kindness. This programme only seems to foster (and justify) hate. I'm so pleased you decided to make this video, thank you.
Thank you Jen for deciding to make this video. I don't really finde the words to explain how much you inspired me and helped me acknowledging things, seeing things, understanding the importance of just listening and finding at least some courage to speak up and not just being nice to be "liked" since I started watching your videos. Thank you, for not letting them get away with that and for using your anger for (once again) educating me and making me think and think again. Sending love.
+Silke Maria Thank you. x
Thank You Jen! I am so grateful to you for turning these awful experiences into teaching moments.
Thank you, Jen. This was really wonderful, and vulnerable, and enlightening. I'm glad that RUclips exists so that there is a place for your voice (and other voices as well)!
Located the show, and just wow. Brilliant discussion as usual, Jen. Thank you for putting this out in the world, but I'm sorry it's needed.
Society can be so disrespectful. Glad you told them your two cents. You are amazing.
I'm so sorry to hear this happened to you but I am so glad you had the courage to speak up and make people aware! Thank you for making this video xx
+Katie Ruby You are welcome, and thank you xx
Your videos about stuff like this really open my eyes. I never really thought about that show in that way. I'm actually amazed at how little thought I've given to these sorts of things considering I have a deformity myself. I love hearing your point of view. Thank you.
I am so sorry you had to go through this. Good on you for the classy way you responded to their offer to appear on their show.
Thank you for sharing your experience, I'm sorry you had to go through this. I'm sorry this TV show even exists! Someone I know actually appeared in a different 'let's laugh at people who aren't "normal"' documentary-cum-dating-show and they described the whole production as extremely manipulative. Luckily they have a strong will and personality so they were able to refuse to go along with what the production company wanted. I can imagine quite easily that most people would end up being pressured or convinced to do things they weren't comfortable with. It's sickening that people think this is acceptable in the name of entertainment.
Thank you for sharing this! I think the worst part of these shows (or similar medis contents) is that the people making it actually believe -or tell themselves - that they are doing something 'good', i.e. helping those poor, poor (undateable!) people with a disablity/deformity. It's this false sense of goodness that is impossible to bear. Anyway, I admire the way you can contain your anger and talk about it so eloquently. (I probably would have resorted to something violent... and illegal...which wouldn't have done any good, I know...).
+Britta Böhler Yes, it is - because they can always back up what they do with it, or talk themselves into ridiculous situations. It's the outcome and execution that's important, not just the intention, and it baffles me xx
I've never seen your vids before until a friend linked this vid on facebook. Thank goodness she did. I watched this just at the right time. Brilliant. Thank you Jen.
+Lawrence Alexandre :) you're welcome, and thank you x
OMG GOLD STAR^100!!!! I'm so incredibly pleased with how eloquently and feelingly you've talked about such an extremely important thing! I feel rather strange surrounded by such lovely logical comments, but seeing this finally dealt with and talked about, when most people haven't any idea, is just sending me into squirms of joy. Thanks so much!
+Antonia Giraldo thank you xxxx
I today read The Bookshop Book and came to the net to find out more about you.
WOW Whata woman of passion.Keep up the converstaion.
Great video, Jen, and this proposition was so out of place. The world we live in is a beautiful place, but part of it is really fucked up. I absolute agree about what you've said and those type of shows are made only for a shock factor for "normal" audience to watch. It scandalises the groups that should be visible accepted, and listened part of society.
Jen, you are amazing, your ability to communicate your feelings (even though your angry and frustrated) is clear and controlled, i am not sure that i would be able to present an argument so well! I love your videos both about books and those too about deformity and even politics. I hope that more people find their way to your channel as i think your an amazing speaker accessible to all! I started watching your videos last year and look forward to all the content you make in 2017. :) Happy new year and i hope you have a wonderful year yourself with lots of health and happiness ( and some enjoyable walks & reading) Emily x
thank you Emily xx
I am so sorry and angry that this happened to you. I have a heart disease and while this is an 'invisible' disability, I hate attitudes that still exist around disability. The number of times I've had people try to explain to me that I don't really have a disability, or that I should grateful it doesn't show... How about treat people as people? Ableism tries to paint disabled people as lesser through scare tactics or by pitying us, and I definitely agree that the media and capitalism feed off and perpetuate this. You are amazing though, keep fighting the good fight - it's shit we have to fight it, but you're not alone!
I 100% agree with all the points you raised. When this show first came out I remember being very shocked with the title and wondering if I was being over sensitive as others didn't seem to care as much. I find it sad that the we live in 2016 and titles like the one of the show exist.
You are simply amazing!!!! I agree with everything you said! So insightful and well put, thank you so much for posting this. Having an invisible disability M.E , i know how utterly misrepresented and downright patronizing the way in which the media can portray anyone with a disability, visible or not. Thank you again :)
This. This right here is. So. Important! Thank you for sharing about this experience, Jen! I'm so sorry you had to encounter it! Sending lots of love and support and all the gold stars :D
This video has such an important message and I'm so glad you took the time to make it.
I am so sorry that you had to go through such insensitivity and I'm glad you have risen above and used your platform to push back.
Keep doing what you are doing!
This video is so important, and I am so sorry that TV shows like that one exist. When I see them it makes me furious! Thank you for this video Jen, I will share it all day everyday.
+Florence Wright Thank you x
This is exactly why I can't stomach 90% of television. Well said, Jen!
Your words mean so much, thank you for articulating this so boldly
I've been a subscriber to your channel for I think a couple of years now and this video has been on my to watch list since it was published (my to watch list is massively back logged - I had over 1300 videos on there). I'm currently working my way through my to watch list and, whilst I don't normally comment on videos, I have to say I'm so glad I finally watched this because it has to be the best video on RUclips and I will be urging everyone I know to watch it. x
Hi Rhiannon, thank you for commenting. And good luck with that Watch Later list - that is dedication! xx
Haha thanks. I must admit some did just have to deleted but down to 1032 so woo! Xx
I'm so disgusted that a show like this exists. I had no idea.
This is such an important video. I can imagine how frustrating it must have been to realise that the first email wasn't really what it claimed to be, and I thought your reply was perfect. I hope that the right people see this video, and start listening.
+A Hermit's Progress Thank you. x
I don't really have anything to say, I just felt the need to comment because everything you said was brilliant. You are handling this so well and you deserve to have a separate TV show where everyone praises your amazing intellect
Thank you for sharing, and helping me to think outside my frame of reference. Many gold stars!!!
The way you made this video to call attention to this.. amazing! More power to you! Thank you so much for talking about this and I'm really sorry you had to experience that awfulness. x
Jen you are such a great woman. You have taught me so much, your book video's are just perfect. But I love it so much that you talk about important subjects like this!
+Amber Boeve Thanks, Amber :)
This was so great. I'm so sorry you had to deal with something like that, but you are just fantastic. This video is so important, thank you for making it!
+Book Ninja :)
Thank you for voicing all of my muddled thoughts in such a coherent manner. I have had very similar experiences. This video is much needed and I'm sharing it on all my social media!! X
I don't comment much, mainly because I'm worried about saying the right thing or that my words would be misinterpreted. But I am truly sorry they stole your day. I hope you know that listening to your voice and your thoughts and your perspective has made my day (and so many of your viewers') on countless occasions... and I am very grateful for that. Thank you always always for your content.
+Laura Salgarolo Thank you xx
Thank you for being so coherent at such a time. It can't have been easy. You are awesome.
+Insiya Poonawala It wasn't - but I feel much better for putting it out there :)
fucking YES. thank you jen. you are great and i'm so sorry you went through this. i'm very grateful you chose to speak up.
So well spoken. I felt sick listening reading the tweets and learning about this show (which I have no idea what it is-but I can imagine).
Thank you for making this! Thanks for making this so people can't use the excuse that there's no one to listen to! Thank you for adding your voice!
Hi, this is the first video I've watched on your channel, and I'm very excited to see more. I actually received your "Weird Things" book as a gift when I used to work in a bookshop, and I love it! Not really related to the topic you discuss in this video, but I was so pleasantly surprised to see that you're the author of one of my favorite books.
Not living in the UK, I don't know what the show is called, but I'm really sorry this happened to you. I know that's not a very helpful sentiment in this circumstance, but you're always an inspiration, whether or not you're talking books. Lots of love from across the pond
+unmanagedmischief xxxxxx
I bet it's the BBC. They are complete fools by twisting everything from disability to faith.
They approached a member of my family thank God they asked for my advice I said I would not do it if I was them and they didn't. Later the show was twisting the truth.
I think it's owned by murdoc the bigot.
Jen they are creeps I'd always decline.
It's absolutely not the BBC. They did a great series called The Disability Series last year.
Sometimes.I naively think we have all come along way...and then I realise we still have a long long way to go.
Sending a hug across the ocean to you. x
I definitely agree that you deserve a gold star for restraint! :) I'm not sure I would have both the courage to speak out the way you have here, and the restraint to not completely go off the deep end. I also had no idea that shows like this existed, though really I shouldn't be surprised with the other shows on TV "featuring" people with disabilities and deformities, to say nothing of reality TV more generally. It just absolutely disgusts me that aside from exploiting the people who are actually in the show and playing up to society's nastier and more patronizing elements, shows like this, whatever identity or identities they're exploiting, inevitably feed into the self-image of people with those identities. It's disgraceful and it pisses me off. Anyway, now I'm angry at 4:30 in the morning when I'm meant to be cleaning, so I'll go do that (perhaps my anger will make me clean faster?), but thank you for putting your badass self out into the world as usual.
+Indubitably Zara Use your anger to CLEAN ALL THE THINGS! :D x
Wow, Jen. I am going to share this with my students!
+cherriesH2O :) x
Hi Jen, wow your video touches on so many issues it is hard to know where to start really. Firstly thank you for making this video.I really appreciate it. I am sorry that you have been upset. My thoughts on the matter are as follows. I agree that we have come a long way , I grew up in the early 70 s and things were really horrendous. I come from a very working class background and was made aware of a lot of sexist, racist ideas in society at that time ( a lot from teachers I am sorry to say ). Since then things have changed quite rapidly. I also agree with you that we have a quite arrogant assumption that in 2016 we are more enlightened than we actually are. The TV company you talk about I assume make their programme because they are relatively cheap to produce (no actors, no script etc etc ) but they coat their actions with a blanket of false concern for others. I think people react to people who are not like themselves out of fear (if everyone is ridiculing that person , no one is looking at me sort of thing ) and I am not sure how to combat that except by making people from different sections of society more visible. I am glad it made you angry though because your anger made you make this video and I am sure this video will have much more of an effect than you even realise. Anger is also a great motivator.(well that is how I like to use anger in my life ) I am bedbound now because of an illness I got about 3 years ago. At one point I could use a wheelchair and I was shocked at how people thought my intellect had disappeared with my ability to walk. I watch your videos a lot and, as I am coming to terms with the change of direction my life has taken, you have inspired me to use my voice and intelligence to try and counteract the ignorance and fear surrounding disability. so here is a big thank you ...THANK YOU. Also I find as you get older your idiot tolerance gets less as you realise just how many idiots there are !! I loved your last comments especially , a sense of humour helps does nt it ? any way I am still thinking of how to use my voice so watch ths space... but thank you for the example you are setting , much love Deb
+Vintage Reader Reads "At one point I could use a wheelchair and I was shocked at how people thought my intellect had disappeared with my ability to walk." This. This. This. Sending love - and thank you xx
You deserve all the gold stars. Feel angry and upset - You were violated and have every right to feel that way. There are ignorant, awful fucks walking this earth but there are also all these people right here on your channel who embrace the 'other', who are the 'other' and we love you. Here's a story... My sister and I went to a very small, very conservative school and she was told by an old white male teacher that she was holding her pen 'wrong'. She replied that it was simply how she held pens, she had a disability. He told her "that was no excuse. Hold it properly". My sister burst into tears of course. And her 14 year old class mates? They picked her up and walked out of class in protest to this disgusting behaviour. For every scum filled dickhead in the world there are 20 beautiful souls who will not (sometimes quite literally) stand for it. We'll be your souls to pick you up.
PS sorry for the swearing but we all know I have a sailor's vocabulary and I really couldn't help myself ; )
+Sophie Carlon This may have made me cry a bit xx
+Jen Campbell xoxoxoxoxoxox
Jen you're amazing and articulate and wonderful and I'm so bloody glad you made this video. I hope it made you feel better about the whole experience and you are doing a wonderful job of raising voices and making brilliant, interesting, and considerate content. I love your stuff and I appreciate everything you do.
Love,
Grace
I am a new follower of yours and will say I normally don't watch videos over 15 minutes long but on a whim decided to watch yours and I am so glad I did. My initial reaction is well done and well spoken both in your responses to the company and doing this video. I hope it goes super viral and has the wheels to push shows like that off the airwaves for good.
+Diana Dupre' Hello, welcome, and thanks :)
HOW DARE THEY??? I think I know the show and it's not making justice to the people they try to "represent". Shows like these are the reason I don't have a TV at home. I am so sorry you had to go through this.