Thanks lucy girl! Age-wise, Dormouse was on the edge of being possibly permanently "wild". I got him young enough that he was able to overcome his fear and learn socialization with people. With cats even a month or two older, it is a real crap shoot. Some can be "tamed", some never. I have a cat who still runs from me in terror to this very day, and I have had her as a pet for 15 years! That said, she will also jump up when we are sitting on the sofa and want to purrr and rub on us. So it is some kind of fear of people walking towards her that she never lost. Cats are an enigma. Anyway, Thanks for the nice comment!
Kitten School wow, how ironic. My latest rescue was about 3 yrs ago. A 7wk old little tabby boy. His mom and her 4 kittens had been dropped off. One died but the rest were all adopted. "Boyzie" is still pretty jumpy when I first come home but once I'm settled and sitting, he's rubbing and purring on me. I'm committed in my thinking that he may always be like this. At least after reading your post, I'm no longer concerned about it. Thx!!
2:46 - Should never stroke a cat all way down to its tailbone when its securing a position of fear, actually studies have proven, that when the hand reaches anywhere towards the hind end of a cat, it sends pulses/signal down its body, which can also trigger a "Cat attack" moment, not an expert or anything, just pointing it out for others. Regardless, im addicted and have learned so much alone from your videos on dealing with my 3 female cats, bless you.
Your videos are great and I learned a few new thing's, so keep them coming. But I don't agree with "using hands to have fun with" because some cat's start seeing your hand as a toy and nothing else, and will claw it or bite whenever your hand goes near the cat. I try to always use toys for play and fun time, and my hands for petting and affection only.
Lailah, great point. Using hands as a play toy can indeed make a cat think that the hand is something to be bit or "preyed" upon. That should be for toys only. Hands are for petting and soothing. I'll try to be more clear about that in future videos. Appreciate the comment, and thanks for watching! Caroline
This reminds me of when I got my cat Dabu . Her previous human owners were very abusive so when I got her she was terrified of me. I couldn't get her to come near me or even eat or drink in a room with me near for 2 weeks. I knew I couldn't force it so I had her come to me when she felt she wanted. 1 month later I was able to be around her when ever. I could pet her and talk to her without her running. Couldn't pick her up though. 3 years later. Holy Hades. I had a spoiled princess fur baby. I could do what ever with this little fur babes and she trusted me fully. So much so I even had a ritual with her I never knew till year 2. I'd come home. She would greet. I'd pick her up, set my bath, go to the bedroom and change . If I didn't do this in that order she would be mad.
Exposing little Dormouse to other fully-socialized cats must be effective, because then Dormouse can think "Nothing bad has happened to these other cats , so why should bad things happen to me; maybe I'll join in on the fun"
these videos are so helpful! Should the other cat in the room be your resident cat?? how should i bring my resident cat into her old bedroom where my new kitten is?
We adopted a 10 month old munchkin 2nd day in the socialization box shes doing really well but still really jumpy. I can't wait until she is more comfortable I'm in the process of attempting to carry her but it only lasts about one minute before she tries to break free
I have 7 feral kittens (3 are 2 months old and 4 are one month old) and two feral moms living in my backyard. Their nails are extremely sharp and can cause a bad scratch. Did you cut their nails? I would like to get some tips to how to make them friendly. Thanks
I have a feral tortoise shell. She has picked me as a playmate. How can I get her to engage with the of my family? I wish I could send you a picture of my Torties. Thanks I learned so much from your videos.
More often the two cats will be attacking each other, especially if one if feral. Introducing two cats can take a lot of time and should be done in stages: keep them in separate rooms and begin to feed them on either side of a closed doorway for a few days. Next open the door a little and continue feeding them from either side of the door way. Start to play with each of them from either side of the doorway, etc. Also, most ferals will have more fight in them than Doormouse showed. Check out Jackson Galaxy's website for introducing cats.
Daily, if possible, and a couple of times a day. You don't want to overwhelm the cat but you also need to have enough regular repetition so that the "hold & release" can help him overcome the impulse to bolt away. As for the length of time to practice, it really depends on the cat. If you notice your cat is starting to relax when you release him, you can ease off the training. Good luck and thanks for the comment!
Hi - love your videos and seeking some advice. I have a formerly feral cat, TNR at about 4 months, got her at 8 months and she's now 2 yrs. she has made some progress but is still so shy and fearful. she will let me pet her as she's walking by, as though I'm another cat, but will never stop. she'll sit by me but never closer than 4-5 ft away, out of arms' reach and only if i'm sitting on the floor. When I walk by her, she'll back away or run. I've never been able to pick her up. I have another cat and they love each other and play together, she isn't afraid of him at all! any advice for me? should I try to pick her up and give her the affection in these videos or is she too old at this point? my gut tells me that trying to pick her up might be a setback at this point. thanks so much!
essential merch I just adopted a 4 year cat that was tramatized by previous owner. She was at the shelter for two years already at day 2 and still hides
Hi Donna! The social box is just a crate for small puppies, rabbits, or ferrets...you can buy them at pet supply stores or on Amazon. One that is large enough to accommodate a small littler box is ideal.
@@KittenSchool thank you so much. I have enjoyed watching your videos and appreciate the tips. I rescue cats, been doing it all my life. They find me and then I care for them and help find homes. I now am part of a surrender/ foster program with an organization called CATS ABOUT TOWN SOCIETY so when I get kittens I have their help in getting them adopted. I did it on my own for many years but it got a little overwhelming so someone suggested this organization and it was hard at first emotionally because of how many cats were in need of homes, it just broke my heart but I am glad this group is around and they fo good work. Thank you again🙏🏻
Is this innate fear we see from feral kitten's an inherited trait or is this learned behavior they got watching mom ..the only reason I ask is I rescued a black poly dactyl feral kitten who became my very best friend and boldest farm cat taking down 5ft long snakes & Vole and messing around with the occasional Snapping turtle who came to deposit her nest of egg's Franky was the very best cat Friend I've ever had at time's I would swear he understood every word.but sadly he was born very sick with Feline Herpes virus and passed away at 10 yrs old on the porch one night the vet wanted to put him down the day I brought him in and claimed He would likely not see his first year ..But a nice Vet at All Cats Care on Ridge Rd helped Franky and I to learn how to best fight his disease Franky watched over the entire garden on our farm with an iron claw and his absolute favorite thing in the summer was enjoying watermelon . His amazing grinder of a tongue would bore out a softball sized hole in the water melon and he lapped up every drop of Melon juice ...Franky is deeply missed and will not soon be forgotten ....He had a amazing ability with certain people .some he would just adore while other he would not go near . I trusted his sense and followed his advice ..
Is there an email or contact info for you guys. I recently (four hours ago) rescued a kitten from my job site it's about the size of doormouse. She was infested with fleas and I won't be able to take to to get checked out till tomorrow. After accidentally releasing her from the cage in the bathroom and standing in shock as a mini typhoon ran around the room trying to get out but couldn't she finally stopped and we were able to coax her with food to calm down enough that we could give her a flea bath. After that she was all sweet as could be while we were holding her. Once down she was fine until we left to take showers. When we came back she had hid under a pillow we left for her to sleep on so we put a cat carrier with a towel in there and showed her it was a safe area. Again she hid under the towel that was left in the. She was a little scared but no longer a swatting hissing ball of Grey fur, we noticed her teeth were in bad condition I assume she isn't more that 16-24weeks old due to how small she is. And we won't know her full condition until a vet sees her asap. If there's a way to contact you for some advice or thing to watch out for I'd really appreciate it. :)
Hi there Styx, it sounds like you are doing exactly the right thing for the kitten you rescued. Good for you! I like your "mini typhoon" description--SO true. A trip to the vet will tell you anything else you need to know about her health. Please feel free to message me directly here at RUclips with questions. I'll try to check the inbox more often than I have been. Please keep us updated on the 'typhoon'!! xoxo Caroline
Kitten School - we took her to the get and they did a stool sample and checked for any diseases she might have. Drew blood and gave her a dewormer. After all is said and done she was a little dehydrated and luckily her teeth are all still baby teeth so we don't have to worry too much for the broken fang as it'll be replaced. She's come along way in 24 hrs. She still hisses at us when we enter the bathroom but like door mouse it was half hearted and once we started petting her she begins to purr and doesn't struggle even will walk up to us and nuzzle our legs/ hands after about 5 mins. Our one concern is at the rate she is eating we expected to see more poop/urine somewhere. Her tummy is looks a little bloated and is firm to the touch. I apologize idk how to direct message someone on RUclips but once I find out I will. Is there anything to worry about or is she holding back on using the restroom cause she is shared
Hi I currently have 2 Tabby's. 1 is a female 4 year old runt and the other is a big 3 year old male. They r super close and I think they might be a couple. But we r getting another male Tabby because his family has to get rid of him due to a family member who is moving in with them is highly allergic and also because he is super cute. But I'm scared the 2 males might fight because of the female even if they r friendly cats. How do I make sure they don't get into fights? Im getting the other cat Thursday night
The only real criticism I've got so far is that these are basically multiple videos on the same thing. It's less an instructional series than a progress log.
I love Sing Sing my siamese soooo much! Last night it was cold here in Florida and he insisted on crawling under the covers with me and laid his head on the pillow to sleep.
Two more things. Be sure the feral has been vaccinated, dewormed and has been treated for fleas to protect your cats from disease and parasites. Dont play with any cat using your hands. Use a sock or soft toy instead. This is especially important if the cat is going to be made available to adoption, particularly if he is adopted by a family with children.
just pick the cat even if it bites and pet, then release. feed by hand. and dont lock it in a cage., just stay with it in a room with not many places to hide. your just isolating the cat when you put it in a cage and the process takes even longer. with all this it wont take more than a few days.
Hi there...this would be ideal if I had all day to concentrate on working with the cat. But I work so I can only do what I can in mornings and afternoons, and days off. You are right to bring up the isolating issue, which is why I use the "Social Box" so that the kitty can be among the family (caged) and not hiding under furniture. I have worked with a lot of feral cats and honestly in my opinion and experience, it just takes time....weeks, months...but not days. Thanks for your comment!
They are all different. I've fostered a total of 19 cats and kittens in the last two years. They are "individuals" of the species cat. I still have five feral cats; I had been trying to trap one of these since he was four months old...he's now three. It took two days for him to stop hissing and start purring...he was just exhausted from trying to fight to breed or eat. He's a mess physically, but has no interest in an open door. I have four ferals, a mom and three kittens that are now two years old. Because I had two families of mommas and kittens when I got the ferals, I could not work with them as much as I wanted to. Life here in my cat zoo didn't make much sense to them...but after getting all the others adopted, I was able to concentrate on the now adult feral family. It is a challenge. First the male allowed me to pet him and then brush him, then the momma followed, now after months the only remaining intact female (not for long) is beginning to let me pet her, but the fourth kitten is crazed with fear even though she sees me with the others, including the new guy. I need help with her and hope to find it here.
Dormouse is one of the cutest names I've ever heard
Awww thank you!!! I think it is cute too, and unusual. I love referencing my favorite storybook characters when naming pets. xoxox Caroline
Greta Ilieva your eyes r almost beautiful as mine, mine r just wow...
Numan Küleç ...
Greta Ilieva I wanna pound you like an artillery regiment would a fortress...
*pets*
*walks away*
*pets*
*walks away*
Dormouse: Looks like you've had too much of that catnip, hooman
OMG DORMOUSE IS SO CUTE. WHAT A FAST LEARNER!
Awww Dormouse is so cute^^
ruclips.net/video/JV8Sw-d7jYk/видео.html
Why'd I think that the rule was "once feral, always feral??" That one could never, ever tame a feral cat...you've proven me wrong. Great work!
Thanks lucy girl! Age-wise, Dormouse was on the edge of being possibly permanently "wild". I got him young enough that he was able to overcome his fear and learn socialization with people. With cats even a month or two older, it is a real crap shoot. Some can be "tamed", some never. I have a cat who still runs from me in terror to this very day, and I have had her as a pet for 15 years! That said, she will also jump up when we are sitting on the sofa and want to purrr and rub on us. So it is some kind of fear of people walking towards her that she never lost. Cats are an enigma. Anyway, Thanks for the nice comment!
Kitten School wow, how ironic. My latest rescue was about 3 yrs ago. A 7wk old little tabby boy. His mom and her 4 kittens had been dropped off. One died but the rest were all adopted. "Boyzie" is still pretty jumpy when I first come home but once I'm settled and sitting, he's rubbing and purring on me. I'm committed in my thinking that he may always be like this. At least after reading your post, I'm no longer concerned about it. Thx!!
Patience and love is the way. Cats respond well to affection. Each takes a different time but in the end it'll pay off.
Love dormouse!! He's cute
Isn't he beautiful? What a great kitty. And he is so happy in his adoptive home! Thanks for the nice comment!
I love your cat doormat
2:46 - Should never stroke a cat all way down to its tailbone when its securing a position of fear, actually studies have proven, that when the hand reaches anywhere towards the hind end of a cat, it sends pulses/signal down its body, which can also trigger a "Cat attack" moment, not an expert or anything, just pointing it out for others.
Regardless, im addicted and have learned so much alone from your videos on dealing with my 3 female cats, bless you.
I'm graduted from kitten school. Meow!
Lelaki Sebelah Pintu I feel sorry for your parents
Cool. So many people can learn from this video, like myself, and care for more cats and make them ready for other loving parents to be cared for.
Damn these videos are addictive
all hail to cat people.
So precious 😊😊😊
Subscribed. Great kitty channel
Thank you Tal! We are so happy to have you with us. Xoxoxo
Love him!
These videos are fantastic. I am about to start trying to tame THREE feral kittens, wish me luck!
I have a 5 month old ferel kitten and would love more advice on socializing him is there any more tips you can give. He is not visicous just terrified
hihi so so cuute cat and kitten :P
Your videos are great and I learned a few new thing's, so keep them coming. But I don't agree with "using hands to have fun with" because some cat's start seeing your hand as a toy and nothing else, and will claw it or bite whenever your hand goes near the cat. I try to always use toys for play and fun time, and my hands for petting and affection only.
Lailah, great point. Using hands as a play toy can indeed make a cat think that the hand is something to be bit or "preyed" upon. That should be for toys only. Hands are for petting and soothing. I'll try to be more clear about that in future videos. Appreciate the comment, and thanks for watching! Caroline
This reminds me of when I got my cat Dabu . Her previous human owners were very abusive so when I got her she was terrified of me.
I couldn't get her to come near me or even eat or drink in a room with me near for 2 weeks.
I knew I couldn't force it so I had her come to me when she felt she wanted.
1 month later I was able to be around her when ever. I could pet her and talk to her without her running. Couldn't pick her up though.
3 years later. Holy Hades. I had a spoiled princess fur baby. I could do what ever with this little fur babes and she trusted me fully. So much so I even had a ritual with her I never knew till year 2.
I'd come home. She would greet. I'd pick her up, set my bath, go to the bedroom and change . If I didn't do this in that order she would be mad.
Thanks for sharing great story
Exposing little Dormouse to other fully-socialized cats must be effective, because then Dormouse can think "Nothing bad has happened to these other cats , so why should bad things happen to me; maybe I'll join in on the fun"
Kedi çok güzel. Sakin ve sürekli sabit duruyor :)
Teşekkür ederim! O harika bir kedi
Kitten School evet, öyle görünüyor :)
it's soo cute!!
Dormouse is SO pretty! Any news on him as of Dec 2019?
On voit qu'il y a encore du chemin : il reste dans l'angle de la pièce et , contrairement à l'autre chat , il ne veut pas jouer ....💗
these videos are so helpful! Should the other cat in the room be your resident cat?? how should i bring my resident cat into her old bedroom where my new kitten is?
Thank u for these videos.
thank you for watching Patrick!
We adopted a 10 month old munchkin
2nd day in the socialization box
shes doing really well but still really jumpy.
I can't wait until she is more comfortable
I'm in the process of attempting to carry her but it only lasts about one minute before she tries to break free
I have 7 feral kittens (3 are 2 months old and 4 are one month old) and two feral moms living in my backyard. Their nails are extremely sharp and can cause a bad scratch. Did you cut their nails? I would like to get some tips to how to make them friendly.
Thanks
What about a two week quarantine for Doormouse before being allowed around other cats?
I have a feral tortoise shell. She has picked me as a playmate. How can I get her to engage with the of my family? I wish I could send you a picture of my Torties. Thanks I learned so much from your videos.
Thank you for the very nice comment, I am so happy you enjoy the videos xoxo
More often the two cats will be attacking each other, especially if one if feral. Introducing two cats can take a lot of time and should be done in stages: keep them in separate rooms and begin to feed them on either side of a closed doorway for a few days. Next open the door a little and continue feeding them from either side of the door way. Start to play with each of them from either side of the doorway, etc. Also, most ferals will have more fight in them than Doormouse showed. Check out Jackson Galaxy's website for introducing cats.
this is really hellping me tame my new cat
how often should we do the hold and
release drill . daily or weekly for a month striaght
Daily, if possible, and a couple of times a day. You don't want to overwhelm the cat but you also need to have enough regular repetition so that the "hold & release" can help him overcome the impulse to bolt away. As for the length of time to practice, it really depends on the cat. If you notice your cat is starting to relax when you release him, you can ease off the training. Good luck and thanks for the comment!
GOD BLEESSSS YOUUUU THANKS😻😻😻😚😚
What can you do if you have nothing that can be used as a socialization box Iam unable to get something
Hi - love your videos and seeking some advice. I have a formerly feral cat, TNR at about 4 months, got her at 8 months and she's now 2 yrs. she has made some progress but is still so shy and fearful. she will let me pet her as she's walking by, as though I'm another cat, but will never stop. she'll sit by me but never closer than 4-5 ft away, out of arms' reach and only if i'm sitting on the floor. When I walk by her, she'll back away or run. I've never been able to pick her up. I have another cat and they love each other and play together, she isn't afraid of him at all! any advice for me? should I try to pick her up and give her the affection in these videos or is she too old at this point? my gut tells me that trying to pick her up might be a setback at this point. thanks so much!
essential merch I just adopted a 4 year cat that was tramatized by previous owner. She was at the shelter for two years already at day 2 and still hides
essential merch p
If you can touch him, he is nearly socialized. Cats visiting our garden run away when we try to approach them.
Where do you get the social box?
Hi Donna! The social box is just a crate for small puppies, rabbits, or ferrets...you can buy them at pet supply stores or on Amazon. One that is large enough to accommodate a small littler box is ideal.
@@KittenSchool thank you so much. I have enjoyed watching your videos and appreciate the tips. I rescue cats, been doing it all my life. They find me and then I care for them and help find homes. I now am part of a surrender/ foster program with an organization called CATS ABOUT TOWN SOCIETY so when I get kittens I have their help in getting them adopted. I did it on my own for many years but it got a little overwhelming so someone suggested this organization and it was hard at first emotionally because of how many cats were in need of homes, it just broke my heart but I am glad this group is around and they fo good work. Thank you again🙏🏻
Soo i have a kitten someone left in our backyard and its really scared and when we try to pet him he flees. Will this method work?
Is this innate fear we see from feral kitten's an inherited trait or is this learned behavior they got watching mom ..the only reason I ask is I rescued a black poly dactyl feral kitten who became my very best friend and boldest farm cat taking down 5ft long snakes & Vole and messing around with the occasional Snapping turtle who came to deposit her nest of egg's Franky was the very best cat Friend I've ever had at time's I would swear he understood every word.but sadly he was born very sick with Feline Herpes virus and passed away at 10 yrs old on the porch one night the vet wanted to put him down the day I brought him in and claimed He would likely not see his first year ..But a nice Vet at All Cats Care on Ridge Rd helped Franky and I to learn how to best fight his disease Franky watched over the entire garden on our farm with an iron claw and his absolute favorite thing in the summer was enjoying watermelon . His amazing grinder of a tongue would bore out a softball sized hole in the water melon and he lapped up every drop of Melon juice ...Franky is deeply missed and will not soon be forgotten ....He had a amazing ability with certain people .some he would just adore while other he would not go near . I trusted his sense and followed his advice ..
love doormouse
Is there an email or contact info for you guys. I recently (four hours ago) rescued a kitten from my job site it's about the size of doormouse. She was infested with fleas and I won't be able to take to to get checked out till tomorrow. After accidentally releasing her from the cage in the bathroom and standing in shock as a mini typhoon ran around the room trying to get out but couldn't she finally stopped and we were able to coax her with food to calm down enough that we could give her a flea bath. After that she was all sweet as could be while we were holding her. Once down she was fine until we left to take showers. When we came back she had hid under a pillow we left for her to sleep on so we put a cat carrier with a towel in there and showed her it was a safe area. Again she hid under the towel that was left in the. She was a little scared but no longer a swatting hissing ball of Grey fur, we noticed her teeth were in bad condition I assume she isn't more that 16-24weeks old due to how small she is. And we won't know her full condition until a vet sees her asap. If there's a way to contact you for some advice or thing to watch out for I'd really appreciate it. :)
Hi there Styx, it sounds like you are doing exactly the right thing for the kitten you rescued. Good for you! I like your "mini typhoon" description--SO true. A trip to the vet will tell you anything else you need to know about her health. Please feel free to message me directly here at RUclips with questions. I'll try to check the inbox more often than I have been. Please keep us updated on the 'typhoon'!! xoxo Caroline
Kitten School - we took her to the get and they did a stool sample and checked for any diseases she might have. Drew blood and gave her a dewormer. After all is said and done she was a little dehydrated and luckily her teeth are all still baby teeth so we don't have to worry too much for the broken fang as it'll be replaced. She's come along way in 24 hrs. She still hisses at us when we enter the bathroom but like door mouse it was half hearted and once we started petting her she begins to purr and doesn't struggle even will walk up to us and nuzzle our legs/ hands after about 5 mins. Our one concern is at the rate she is eating we expected to see more poop/urine somewhere. Her tummy is looks a little bloated and is firm to the touch. I apologize idk how to direct message someone on RUclips but once I find out I will. Is there anything to worry about or is she holding back on using the restroom cause she is shared
Hi I currently have 2 Tabby's. 1 is a female 4 year old runt and the other is a big 3 year old male. They r super close and I think they might be a couple. But we r getting another male Tabby because his family has to get rid of him due to a family member who is moving in with them is highly allergic and also because he is super cute. But I'm scared the 2 males might fight because of the female even if they r friendly cats. How do I make sure they don't get into fights? Im getting the other cat Thursday night
What 70s porno did you rip the music from? It's so catchy.
The only real criticism I've got so far is that these are basically multiple videos on the same thing. It's less an instructional series than a progress log.
kitten skool lol
nice
3:03, so cute! I would defo do this to my girlfriend, she's such a kitty :)
I gave your comment a thumbs down because no one loves me. Nothing personal.
Dormouse has a gorgeous coat!
I bet he's not scared of the fridge.
POOSIE BABY!!!!
those siamese, tho!
I love Sing Sing my siamese soooo much! Last night it was cold here in Florida and he insisted on crawling under the covers with me and laid his head on the pillow to sleep.
That is nothing what socialising adult scared cat looks like
All dislikers are , who are jealous from doremouse
Two more things. Be sure the feral has been vaccinated, dewormed and has been treated for fleas to protect your cats from disease and parasites. Dont play with any cat using your hands. Use a sock or soft toy instead. This is especially important if the cat is going to be made available to adoption, particularly if he is adopted by a family with children.
Kitten school 😂 I'm done
Basically, my kitty at me :|
come on, its not really hard as you make it seem to get a cat used to humans. give me 1 week with this cat and i'll domesticate him.
Is that a challenge? I'd love to know your secret!
just pick the cat even if it bites and pet, then release. feed by hand. and dont lock it in a cage., just stay with it in a room with not many places to hide. your just isolating the cat when you put it in a cage and the process takes even longer. with all this it wont take more than a few days.
Hi there...this would be ideal if I had all day to concentrate on working with the cat. But I work so I can only do what I can in mornings and afternoons, and days off. You are right to bring up the isolating issue, which is why I use the "Social Box" so that the kitty can be among the family (caged) and not hiding under furniture. I have worked with a lot of feral cats and honestly in my opinion and experience, it just takes time....weeks, months...but not days. Thanks for your comment!
They are all different. I've fostered a total of 19 cats and kittens in the last two years. They are "individuals" of the species cat.
I still have five feral cats; I had been trying to trap one of these since he was four months old...he's now three. It took two days for him to stop hissing and start purring...he was just exhausted from trying to fight to breed or eat. He's a mess physically, but has no interest in an open door. I have four ferals, a mom and three kittens that are now two years old. Because I had two families of mommas and kittens when I got the ferals, I could not work with them as much as I wanted to. Life here in my cat zoo didn't make much sense to them...but after getting all the others adopted, I was able to concentrate on the now adult feral family. It is a challenge. First the male allowed me to pet him and then brush him, then the momma followed, now after months the only remaining intact female (not for long) is beginning to let me pet her, but the fourth kitten is crazed with fear even though she sees me with the others, including the new guy. I need help with her and hope to find it here.