Why You Should Stop Helping People | Love, The Creative Black Woman | Ep 19

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  • Опубликовано: 10 сен 2024

Комментарии • 28

  • @BeautiifulliMade
    @BeautiifulliMade 25 дней назад +12

    Thank you. I have a terrible habit of trying to help people at every turn. Thinking I can fix other people’s problems when it’s their problem for a reason. I realized I need to scale back my ‘helping’ after being asked to plan a gender reveal…when I should have said no. I ended up giving up an entire day for the event, spent money I didn’t budget for and barely got a ‘Thank You’.

    • @JusMeShakoyahD
      @JusMeShakoyahD  25 дней назад

      Oooo girl I've definitely been there before! This comment just gave me flash backs lol I'm not sure if you know this but I’m actually hosting a 30 days of self care challenge for September where we’ll be walking through how to create a self care system that works specifically for you. There will be free resources, community, weekly check ins, group yoga and meditation sessions, as well as a space to interact and ask questions. This will definitely be a great way to practice helping less and supporting more along with putting yourself first.
      If you're interested I would love for you to join the 30 days of Self Care Challenge. The itinerary is on the way, and it’s all virtual so I created the discord for it 💜💐 discord.com/invite/umQ3EN3u4E

  • @cutieworldwideee
    @cutieworldwideee 11 дней назад

    The way I'm burnt out through and through. Was finally honest with myself, shed tears and asked myself "When will it be my turn to get taken care of?" I needed to hear this.

    • @JusMeShakoyahD
      @JusMeShakoyahD  11 дней назад +1

      Honestly that's the first step to freedom lol it really gets exhausting when you give everyone your all and don't give that same energy to yourself. I asked myself that question plenty of times in the past and after a million therapy sessions, books, seasons of burnout, classes, etc. it finally clicked 🤣

  • @domo5688
    @domo5688 29 дней назад +5

    Thank you for this reminder, To hear this message just showed me instead of spending a lot of time (valuable asset) constantly helping someone deal with their issues and problems take that time and invest in my own personal issues. You will never regret it.

    • @JusMeShakoyahD
      @JusMeShakoyahD  28 дней назад

      I'm so glad that this message spoke to you. It is so important that we start to focus on showing up for ourselves so that we can show up even better for those around us 💐

    • @JusMeShakoyahD
      @JusMeShakoyahD  25 дней назад

      I’m hosting a 30 days of self care challenge for September (National Self Care Month) where we’ll be walking through how to create a self care system that works specifically for you and then implementing and using the systems. This will be a great way to gather some tools on putting yourself first. There will be free resources, community, weekly check ins, group yoga and meditation sessions, as well as a space to interact and ask questions. The itinerary is on the way, and It’s all virtual so I created the discord for it 💜💐 I hope that you can join us! discord.com/invite/umQ3EN3u4E

  • @Adoseof_Ri
    @Adoseof_Ri 21 день назад +6

    Pray for discernment on who to help and how In Jesus name ❤

    • @JusMeShakoyahD
      @JusMeShakoyahD  20 дней назад

      Amen 🙏🏾
      Also just so you know, I’m hosting a 30 days of self care challenge for September (National Self Care Month) where we’ll be walking through how to create a self care system that works specifically for you and then implementing and using the systems. I would love for you to join if you are interested! there will be free resources, community, guest speakers, weekly check ins, group yoga and meditation sessions, as well as a space to interact and ask questions. The itinerary is on the way, and It’s all virtual so I just created the discord for it 💜💐 discord.com/invite/umQ3EN3u4E
      The discord will lock on 8/27 at 11:59pm so be sure to join before then if you are interested or you will have to wait until October to hop in the discord 😊

  • @shaysmitt7936
    @shaysmitt7936 11 дней назад

    Just discovered your channel , SUBSCRIBED!!!!!! I learned that most don’t want help. They either want attention, validation , and or your resources without pushback .

    • @JusMeShakoyahD
      @JusMeShakoyahD  11 дней назад +1

      Yup! that's exactly it lol Thank you so much for subscribing! Happy Healing 💜💐

  • @danyellewilson3459
    @danyellewilson3459 17 дней назад +1

    Oh my goodness! I so needed to hear this. I was feeling guilty about constantly feeling like having to help people. Even when I know deep down that is not really "helping" them or me. I had to rewatch to make sure it got in and stayed in my soul!

    • @JusMeShakoyahD
      @JusMeShakoyahD  15 дней назад

      I definitely feel that! I'm still working on not feeling guilty about not helping, but it really comes a time where we just have to realize that everyone's burden is not ours to bear 🤷🏾‍♀️ Thank you so much for watching! Shoot I may need to rewatch this episode too 🤣
      Also I’m hosting a 30 days of self care challenge for September (National Self Care Month) where we’ll be walking through how to create a self care system that works specifically for you and then implementing and using the systems. I would love for you to join if you are interested! It will be an exercise in learning to put yourself first. There will be free resources, community, guest speakers, weekly check ins, group yoga and meditation sessions, as well as a space to interact and ask questions. It’s all virtual so I just created the discord for it 💜💐 discord.com/invite/umQ3EN3u4E
      The discord will lock on 8/27 at 11:59pm so be sure to join before then if you are interested or you will have to wait until October to hop in the discord 😊

  • @ashleyjohnson3582
    @ashleyjohnson3582 27 дней назад +2

    Oh my goodness this is me 😩 I feel so drained always solving everyone else’s problems. I don’t even want to speak sometimes. Offer solutions like man, the overextending is real 💯. I just want to focus on me for the next few years 😅 being nice is overrated

    • @JusMeShakoyahD
      @JusMeShakoyahD  26 дней назад +1

      @@ashleyjohnson3582 i definitely feel that! Being nice is overrated! 😂 it’s definitely draining and honestly as I’ve been learning to focus on me more so much stress has been relieved from my life. I’m actually hosting a 30 Days of Self Care Challenge this September where we will be focusing on how to create a self care system that works for you. there will be free resources, community, and a space to interact and ask questions. I just created the discord for it and I would love for you to join! 😊 discord.com/invite/umQ3EN3u4E

    • @ashleyjohnson3582
      @ashleyjohnson3582 26 дней назад

      @@JusMeShakoyahD thanks I will join!

  • @lats1378
    @lats1378 5 дней назад

    💐

  • @sherineofficial7851
    @sherineofficial7851 10 дней назад

    Glad this popped up in my suggestions. I’m just realizing I can sense when ppl are using me and I always pickup on it. Smh

    • @JusMeShakoyahD
      @JusMeShakoyahD  5 дней назад +1

      Im so glad this resonated with you! Honestly I'm the same way, but I was just allowing it to happen because I didn't want to be mean lol now I'm just practicing assessing my needs before saying yes or no to helping others

    • @sherineofficial7851
      @sherineofficial7851 4 дня назад

      @@JusMeShakoyahD yassss and even with my kids. It’s hard but necessary! I’m ok with being the “mean” one now

  • @crystalsingleton3528
    @crystalsingleton3528 17 дней назад

    Thank you for explaining things cus some people are not getting it

    • @JusMeShakoyahD
      @JusMeShakoyahD  15 дней назад

      lol honestly it took me a while grasp this myself so i understand 🤣

  • @RambleMaven
    @RambleMaven 16 дней назад

    💐

  • @mariahatthemoment
    @mariahatthemoment Месяц назад +1

    I really appreciate this video. You touched on so much I can relate to, especially now. This is a space I’ve been working through allowing myself out of. My mind was equally as blown hearing the difference between ‘support’ and ‘help.’ It was a wrap when I realized if I didn’t ’take over’ and do the thing for someone, life went on, they figured it out and I avoided an unnecessary side mission! Assessing my mental capacity prior to committing to things has become a new priority for me now, cause I be tired and not willing often lol and I’m honoring that for the things that deserve that energy.
    I’m really wishing you and the rest of us the best on this journey of learning how to treat ourselves the way we’ve felt obligated (and burdened) to treat others without a second thought. thanks Shakoyah. New sub 🫶🏾

    • @JusMeShakoyahD
      @JusMeShakoyahD  Месяц назад +1

      @@mariahatthemoment it’s so crazy because the lines of “support” and “help” have been blurred for so long that it sometimes feels wrong to put your mental health first. But it’s sooooo necessary.
      It really makes me happy to know that you are on your self love journey learning these things as well. Thank you so much for watching and subscribing. I appreciate you more than you know 💜💐

    • @JusMeShakoyahD
      @JusMeShakoyahD  25 дней назад

      I’m hosting a 30 days of self care challenge for September (National Self Care Month) where we’ll be walking through how to create a self care system that works specifically for you and then implementing and using the systems. There will be free resources, community, weekly check ins, group yoga and meditation sessions, as well as a space to interact and ask questions. The itinerary is on the way, and It’s all virtual so I created this discord for it 💜💐 I hope that you can join us! discord.com/invite/umQ3EN3u4E