Sometimes, the best way to comfort someone who is suicidal isn't to give them advice. It's just to comfort them. Show them kindness. Something the world is lacking.
My mom has been saying a lot of suicidal shit lately, and I was trying to be logical this whole time… Thank you for reminding me the fact that sometimes, you just need to be kind and comfort them
@@lorenzooliveira1157Just ur presence, understanding and listening, don’t even have a try much, listen to the layers of words and viewpoints spoken out of pain when she speaks deep, be there. All she needs I promise.
Funny enough, this is literally how i manage to cope with my own "tendencies". I live out of spite cause my next-door bullys are people i absolutely hate (who not only affect majority of my childhood, but taken part of making me like this), that i just thrive to be successful out of pure spite. This will never live down either lol... Edit (2024): its been a year since i made this comment, and it still stands. (Just not this edgy as i used to lol.) Just to clear things up, those next door bullys are my close relatives at my fathers side. Ever since my father passed away, they were nothing but snakes in hopes of trying to take everything my father owns that were always meant to be passed down to me. My mother and me ultimately just made a choice of moving out of that toxic house. Since not only we live with my toxic grandfather who in burst of an argument said to "leave my house this instant", but with my next door bullys who did nothing but act as if they are simply holier-than-thou while leeching off from us. So far, life has been good. My mom is happier with her new boyfriend (i approve). I can finally get my mind off from everything that used to plague my mind as i'm doing better than ever. The place we just moved in is a whole new type of shock, considering it's somewhere in the countryside. Though safe to say, it's definitely better than before as this place is more on my mother side. So not only my mom knows everyone, but i could also reconnect with my other relatives who in turn, my mother had to leave years back to get married to my dad. Not saying there aren't any bad apples around here, but absolutely way better than my old environment. (I recently even got invited to my first hangout with a group of friends than staying lonely! So thats a plus!) Other than doing good, i changed up my motto for a bit. Sure, i'd live out of spite but those people who ruined me we're no longer are the reason for such thing. I don't want their silly faces to revolve around my life anymore, so i'll live out of spite because i refuse to give up in general. I will use my existence to laugh at the face of hardships cause at least i'm still alive and running. Oh, update for those relatives? Let me give you a long list from what i heard: -one relative is in massive debt from getting scammed in those bitcoins stuff -one relative is near death because of all the drinking (which serves him right cause he is also a perv and abuses his authority) -the same relative who was in debt lost the ability to see his own daughter cause he is irresponsible and a deadbeat father -one (my main bully) relative who is (probably) in their early-mid 30s still couldn't even afford to get a job and is just a massive freeloader (also drinking problems) -and much more lol Glad that isn't our problem no more.
Had a friend once, she diden’t ask for help, never talked to anyone about the bad parts in her life, she always seemed full of joy. One day she just ended it all. You never know the demons someone is fighting. May 3’rd 2021 r.i.p
Rip but……… didn’t* Edit: I never meant any disrespect, I literally said “rip but……” I just get a little disrupted when someone spells something wrong. Honestly, y’all are snowflake babies for getting mad at me correcting someone over something so minor.
if someone is really suicidal a video like this wouldn't do shit, your friend being saved by a video means he actually wants to live, he just got lost, unlike some others
@@epicuber1351 he was definitely suicidal. while this video may not have been the thing that saved him completely this definitely contributed to it and it made him see life in a different way.
I don't think i'm suicidal or even depressed, or even struggling with existentialism, but most of the time I feel as though I simply cannot be bothered to endure any of life; that dying would give me the rest I crave yanno
But think about it Death will come and it's eternal for all we know, So why don't you just stay alive even if it's not that great You'll have plenty of time if not infinite time to rest later so just wait for a second
The only thing keeping me going is spite. Everything and everyone is so terrible and awful. That's why I won't ever lose to them. I'm the ultimate sore loser. I won't prove them right by just letting things end like that. Spite actually goes a long way.
I think it was a year ago that I found this video on Reddit when I was struggling with suicidal ideation. I felt that life was meaningless and my struggles against it were pointless. This video, the explanation of absurdity and the spiting of it, helped me find courage to live another day. I'm doing much better now thanks to lifestyle changes and medication, but when I had almost nothing in the fight against my own self, I had this, and it was enough. Thank you.
David Draghici except when depression can actually be biological, as there’s 2 different kinds. One you describe, and another where the production of dopamine is stagnant in the brain. However, it takes a good doctor to recognize which one it is, and an even better one to recommend a psychiatrist if it’s the former.
It's truly rare to see a nontoxic community section under such a serious toppic, it's so common to see people mock/make fun of others with mental issues and i greatly appreciate this video, thank you.
I remember seeing someone say something along the lines of “I’m not sad, nor happy. I’m not suicidal, but I’m not optimistic. I just want to feel something.” And it sticks in my mind to this day because of how accurate it is. I’m not suicidal primarily because i know i have purpose, and i know there are people in my life that would never be the same, but it’s such a struggle to find feeling. It’s difficult to explain, but the words “i just want to exist. I just want to feel something.” Sum it up well
You may not be suicidal but would you care if you died in some freak accident? If your life ended today at no fault of your own would you miss life, or would you miss the people in your life? I’m not gonna pretend to be some expert but I’d be willing to bet that if you experimented for a while and you put yourself out there, found an okay job that you love to do and a few hobbies that you would find yourself wanting to be here for yourself as well as others. Maybe I’m wrong but it’s just the vibe I’m getting.
But you are feeling something , you clearly care about the people in your life. However monotonous that feeling has become because of feeling it on a daily basis , you are still a human being that cares for his close ones and whose close ones care for them too. Never forget that , and cherish that feeling for what it is.
Could be C-PTSD NGL! Being emotionally under activated and feeling very little emotion from stuff could be childhood trauma! Can also be dysthymia, all depending on your symptoms as a whole ofc!
I always quote "Someone said they were close to me?" from Tropic Thunder because he was doing things for people rather than for himself. Then again, his idea of himself got him stabbed by a child lol
Your uncle's a brave man. It's easier to think about it. It's harder to go through with it. If a person suicides and prevails, that's the person's final act. That's why so many don't do it
To everyone struggling with helping the suicidal: Acknowleging how badly we must hurt to want to kill ourselves or how tired we are is not encouraging suicide, I promise. THAT is what we need to hear, that we are seen, that somebody knows how badly we are struggling. Then address the tiredness. WE need care, not your feelings, not our family's feelings. We're not selfish, we're tired. Just say "It's okay to feel this exhausted. You must be hurting really badly. Is there anything I can do to help you? Even something small, like just staying with you and listening, or watching something together? We don't have to change your life, I just don't want you to have to face this alone." That's it. It's that simple. Don't tell us not to die. Tell us that it makes sense that we want to die. I promise it helps. That's all I ever wanted to hear.
if you need help go talk to your Friends, family and people you trust, life can be great and will get even better after the pandemic ends so do not waste it and life have a lot of good experiences and memories that are gonna make you think it was all worth it, a lot of people who tried to end their lives remember that they changed their mind and are happy to be alive, if necessary search for help in the internet and if you can afford it call a therapist "ending your life is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" also do not be shy to call for help.
@@robmarthin7156 You're missing the point. For a lot of us, our family is the reason we're suicidal, and we have no friends. Therapy is at a premium in america currently. For a lot of us, there is no one we can trust. For some of us, our whole lives have been like this, it HAS been a permanent problem, and asking us to keep going is like asking someone to keep walking on a broken leg. We're TIRED. If I was suicidal and I heard this, I'd want to die even more. If not you, who? If not now, when? Offer water to those lost in the desert. Stop telling them to walk another 3 miles to the gas station when they have no strength left. It's easier to give up. There's no strength left to call for help. You have to BE the help.
@@Itotallymadethisup that broken leg metaphor really hit me tonight. My bad hip has been acting up today to the point I had to pull out my once in a blue moon cane just to get out of bed and reach the kitchen. I just wanted to eat for fuck's sake. I can't walk consistently right now and I dont want to. I just needed to get something. But I always feel like I'm faking it. This limping is soooooo clearly an exaggeration to everyone else. I dont know what's wrong with my shitty stupid leg. I can't explain why once every couple months my hip just waves a shockwave of pain through my whole body. I cant even sit comfortably wothout flaring up the pain. I just wanted to eat, but is that even worth it anymore?
Absurdist reality is like being on the verge of suicide because you feel like no one cares, calling a suicide hotline, they don't pick up, and you find it so funny that you don't go through with it
I lost my 13-year-old daughter to suicide six months ago. Needless to say, things have been a nightmare ever since. As a means of self-therapy and hopes of helping people, I started creating videos in which I hike through nature and narrate my journey with grief. It's so important that we talk about it. It's a difficult, ugly part of life that our society tries to just pretend doesn't exist. Thank you for making content like this to try and improve the narrative and help others who are struggling.
@@hjgu-dy8vb I understand how you feel, especially after losing her. I'm 36 myself and like you, I know how cold and bitter life can be. Despite that, she wasn't "lucky"--she was sick, struggling, and made an impulsive decision at far too young of an age. I know you and I don't know each other, but please talk to someone if suicide is starting to seem like a rational decision. A lot of life sucks, but a lot of it is okay. Please stick around. Everyone in your life would be truly devastated by your death, believe me. ❤
@Love_Yourself4830 as a man who no one cares about I don't think anything will be lost to be honest ur kid was young and u still never got to do much so I feel like u lost something there but my parents dead anyway and my aunt won't care to much I think she might cry but yeah
I'm so sorry for your loss 🙏🏻 I'm sure she has now found peace, I don't know her situation but she won't be suffering whatever brought her down anymore which I hope you can take some sort of tiny comfort in.. suicide absolutely destroys some family's & I wish yours all the very best.
My condolences for your beautiful angel. Don't mind that one person in your replies, I promise they probably weren't in their right mind when writing that reply. Your daughter was hurting ma, and I understand it hurts from losing someone so precious to you. I don't have children but I know if I had them and they were to do something as such as that, I would be broken. She's looking over you, and miha I know she's telling you she loves you in everything you do. She's the morning clouds, and maybe even the sun. She's the moments where you laugh your heart out and the moments where you're crying alone. She's in every moment when you might not even notice it. You're strong, and she's with you. Always. ❤
Girl i loved committed suicide. Now I realize she had pushed me away but in a subtle way. You see, before she had ended her life. Her and I were on a break. To sum it all up she told me to trust her and that she would come back to me one day. She was a very spiritual person so she always believed in reincarnation and other-worldly beliefs. So ofc her saying “we will meet one day” can mean a lot. I never saw the signs of wanting to take her own life. I guess I was too busy being in love with her. Focused too much on her positives. But anyways she took her life in November. I only found out about her death last month. We took our break in September. So I’ve basically been waiting for a dead person for quite a while. The realization of that broke me. Mostly because I could have texted her any time during our break. But I didn’t out of respect. So during her final moments she had probably been hesitant, hoping I’d send one message any message, because that was the type of person she was. If she had felt hopeless or in distress I’d always somehow text her and get in contact with her. So during her final moments, I’m 100% sure she was hoping I’d save her and I couldn’t even do that. I’m now at a weird turning point in my life. I’m lost and I don’t think I can trust and depend on people anymore. I laugh here and there but I mean that’s normal. I’m with a crowd and i just think I am mimicking the crowd around me. Whenever I’m alone I’m just so sad and hopeless. I’m basically just lost and I don’t know where to go from here. I’m just trying to live the rest of my life to the best of my ability.
Hey, KingZakku. Suicide is not the answer. You can be grateful just for the opportunities life can present you. Also, there is more to life than death, try finding something to rely on, I'd say Jesus.
Yes, I agree with the reply above me, don’t blame yourself, she made a choice and at that point there was nothing anyone could have done. She’s at peace now
November 25th, 2009. I gained hearing damage. I gained anxiety. I gained confusion. I gained despair. I gained sadness. I gained rage. I lost my Mother. My lifeline. I lost memories. I lost years. I lost feeling. I found confidence. I found perseverance. It was not the end of me, but a beginning. I miss her dearly. We still don't know why it happened. But that's okay. I've accepted and moved on.
Exactly. I don’t know if I stole this but I always tell myself something. Physically you have 1 life, mentally you have infinite lives. If you lose one of the mental lives, you can start a new one.
i went trough the same 3 years ago now. But nowadays i understand how important it is to accept something we dont fully comprehend, and how much it takes to come to yourself again and moving on despite all those uncertainties and what ifs. But after the storm you always find a new self, more mature and stronger than before.
I've been suffering with depression and suicidal ideation for decades. As ive grow older, the struggle is not with sadness or the meaningless of life, but rather suicide as a business decision. That's what's scariest to me.
@@AM-wv5qy did you come here to help, or sympathize? Or to try to tell people with suicidal ideation to go ahead and do it? Not sure what ego trip you're on with this comment. You need to read 'Be Here Now' so bad.
@@outfeeder6322 lmao I'm not telling people to commit suicide lol and I do not have ego I'm telling people the truth I'm just sharing people my experience
I’ve been in this “I have to make a mark on this world before I die” and “we’re all gonna die anyways so, what’s the point” cycle for a while until I saw this. This helped me a lot man, thank you. Update: Yeah never mind, the thoughts came back. I’m getting a therapist.
Whenever I get to the mind frame if "what's the point?" I like to think of a butterfly. It grows, it eats, it transforms into this beautiful creature who lives no more than 2 weeks. In the grand scheme of things this little butterfly will be outlived a hundred fold by my own existence, and yet even though its fleeting, the beautiful picture of this tiny creature will live on in my mind until the day i pass. I am but a butterfly in the vast expanse of the cosmos, but I can be beautiful all the same.
December 11th, 2019 Lost a friend and one of the smartest and funniest young men I had ever had the pleasure of meeting. Only the good die young. That young man should be top of his class in college right now, but today he’s 6ft under. Rest in peace
I’m sorry it was a day before my birthday but to think was happy before somebody died is tragic My mother died at my happiest moment because I never got to meet her and my dad… my mother doesn’t even know him and she never will plus my grandpa killed my grandma so I’m a mistake and I just wanna kill myself becasue life never fucking changes.
Very relatable. Had a very successful friend that was a 'rags to riches' type. Only 20 years of age and he's managed to be financially stable and successful. Very charming and modest person too, never thought he would've died on that night I stumbled upon him on Walmart, the night before he decided to go out and drive off state to kill himself via drowning. It has me wondering, for somebody his criteria and success, how can anyone choose to kill themselves? He had everything and more, was there something missing? Was he bottling up an emotion he didn't let go of? Who knows. All I know is that he's gone forever and I'll never find another close friend like him. Hate how life works like that, some people die for no reason and you have to try and continue to live life that way. Its shitty. More so that I just walked out of a job and I'm once again unemployed with 1k in debt and no sense of direction of life. And I'm only 21. I don't want to be apart of this world anymore.
@Firecraft Pyro and it was that moment firecraft pyro didn't realize the fact that he was the cringe incel normie who mocked people with own opinions to influence to gain status
We had a coworker committ suicide at work he suffocated himself. He had a wife, 2 young children, he was 28 years old, money in the bank. I could just see something was off. Noone else could see it but I could see it because I feel it too. Its like being alone no matter who youre with.
There are a thousand words I could say to you, but none will save you from the shadow that hides within yourself. Know that you are the master of your own mind, you can overcome this evil by sheer will. There are a lot of things I could promise you, it's all going to be fine, you are loved, but these things aren't going to reach a person that is unwilling to help himself. It is not your fault you are feeling like this, it is a natural consequence of the demons that have been cast towards you. But you will have to be the one to slay them, and I'm going to tell you how. Think of happiness, in essence, like a flame. It is something that is easily squashed if you don't take care of it, recharge it, it is a breathe that you have to rekindle every now and then. It is law of nature that each flame must carry a dark side, for each light casts a shadow upon that that is not illuminated. What I'm trying to tell you, is that you may have all the company in the world, but it is your flame that will illuminate your soul. My advice, find peace. Learn to acknowledge these thoughts, and come to the realisation that there is nothing that can force you to think anything. You are a free being, you have the ability to pause whenever it feels overwhelming. Take advantage of this ability, so that you may step back when your thoughts overcome you with sadness. I hope you find peace. If it helps there is always someone out there, that is willing to love you for who you are.
3 years ago I was in that situation where nothing gave meaning to me, I felt empty and heartless, I wasn’t feeling my heart beat, I was on the edge to give it all up. I thought about the meaning of life and I found none that could make sense. Then I started to think deeply and I realized, since this life has no meaning I should give meaning to it. I feel like life isn’t a test were you must do good to go to heaven, life is an empty canvas and you must paint how you want it.
I suffered severe depression several years ago. I could remember several years ago after divorce with my wife which brought me into my disastrous journey on Alcohol and cigarettes. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with cptsd. Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Much respect to mother nature the great magic shrooms.
James :Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Germany. Real
I hate it when people say "we'll miss you we care for you" yea no shit but why should I think about how my actions will affect you if I know that you only give me affection when you see me breaking down? let me be selfish for once
Yeah, that's something that frustrates me too. In a way it feels as if people only care about you if you are useful to them and that they only say "no we love are, you are loved, we care about you" just to quench your suicidality just long enough for you to be useful to them again. In a way that is the most selfish thing I can think of.
yes. ppl call sucidial ppl “selfish” bc they will hurt their loved ones. but, what abt me? i wanna kms, why does it matter what you think ? but we’re the selfish ones, huh.
Imagine living a life where sister and mother always say "you ruined my life". Some people are so selfish and the saddest thing is that they deny it by saying things like "if only you knew what i always wished for you"..
I mean this with no exaggeration. This video and the philosophy of Camus really did save me from a really dark place. I found this video in the middle of a terrible depressive episode and the image of Sisyphus being happy just had a strong impact on me and gradually I was able to climb back out of the hole I was in. So thank you for this video, I still come back every once in a while
The closer one draws to truth, the more absurd everything is. Also the sense that utter aloneness is the only real friend. It takes guts and illumination to persevere, and a robust sense of humor. That or blissful ignorance.
Maybe it's just a way of finally getting that rock to the top, and then it falling down all over again, to reach a truth to reveal more questions than before, and I just take it as a thinking exercise that never ends, and so the fun and excitement of finding/learning something new never grows old.
@Sumit Mazumdar This is just my viewpoint, but it seems to me that the total absence of life itself is a much bigger problem than anything that we experience within our life. But then again, one simply could not care when one doesn't even exist in the first place.
I always tell my friends “I just want to die” and no one takes me seriously and sometimes I don’t either but lately I have found myself saying that genuinely. I genuinely think that me dying is for the best. I’m tired. Sometimes I’m just tired of of being tired. These videos gives me determination to keep going. Thank you
I've been struggling with suicidal thoughts a lot recently. I don't know, I get through the day fine and then late at nights I cry and wish to die. I've always thought of how futile my life is, that I'll always keep suffering, whether it be because of me or the life around me. It feels like I can't stop it. But there are little times where I'm happy to live, like listening to my favourite song or seeing a squirrel run past me when I go out. It's hard though. I have nobody to talk to, I don't want to burden them with such harrowing information. I'm hoping the days get better, that life will be good, and for everyone in this comment section, or for anyone reading this comment. Let's make do with what we've got. :)
Ever since I was 9 I have tried to take my own life. After I saw this video I started to really work on myself and im happy to be alive. I'm 14 now about to turn 15 in September and I'm so happy to be alive I'm happy with everything around me I love grass I love wind in my hair I love the sun I love the moon. I am so grateful for this video of course its not the only reason I'm alive but it is definitely a thing that really helped me. Thank you so much for posting this video
I've lost 4 people to suicide in my life time, and while i appreciate this video, something just isnt sitting with me. I just feel like it goes much deeper than " just appreciate life. " I dont know.
@@humanleader184 and thats exactly what this video tries to achieve, it isnt just "be happy pushing the boulder" but "accept the absurdity, embrace it and revolt, you won't inmediately revolt, but you will eventually find a way to, then just continue, be a happy Sisyphus" we all have to fight to come to terms with the absurdity, and this can be really hard to do, but it is never impossible
I cannot believe that “fuck it we ball” is such a powerful statement. I mean before it was like kinda impactful but after watching this video, it’s kinda the key to finding happiness.
It’s either fuck it we ball or it’s ALL over. No matter what we as people do it will never have an immortal impact on the future so what you do in your life is entirely up to you. Live happy, live fast, have kids or don’t, laugh, cry, scream, smile. None of it matters and anything you do is inherently selfish and for your own gain, the weight of the world is an individual weight borne by everybody uniquely. No matter how you live life or end life you are living it to its fullest and in the best way possible since there was never any end goal of life in the first place. Every living thing has the generalized purpose to interact with the world around it and then die and decompose so energy can be recycled again and again, your mere existence means you have already fulfilled your duty to live. Even the newborn child who dies being born and the mother who dies giving birth to their child has already lived life to the fullest because all that is required is to merely exist. Everyone dies so choice isn’t an option, the only selfish thing that we as humans do is to dictate whether or not we are satisfied in dying.
have you ever seen those memes with ryan gossling lying on the stairs/ some anime character staring down at the screen with a window saying: "your fuck it we ball/it is what it is is running out do you want to continue?" Then there are three options of "yes", "no" and "help" What do you do after that point?
you probably wont ever see this comment but i just wanted to say that this is one of my favorite videos on youtube and every few months i come back to watch it again, but thank you for making this video man.
Sisyphus 55, when i was at my lowest point in life i came across this video. It genuinely helped me become better and happier. I even made an informative speech on sisyphus and camus because of it. Thank you sisyphus 55.
this video helps. I’m not suicidal, I’ve never lost anyone close to suicide, but sometimes the sad is real, y’know? I will think of this video in my darkest hours and revolt against the absurdity, I’ll be ok. thank you edit: this video ended up actually being a breakthrough, I feel like a new person. I hope everyone here can live a happy life, and thank you again.
i don’t think i physically wanna die it’s probably more like i want to be another person to have another life under my control, im tired of living around people i hate in an environment that only keeps damaging me. i also have no clue who i am, and even if i knew her im 100% sure i’ll hate everything about her.
oh wow it feels like you reached inside my brain and wrote what you found in there. I hope it helps you to know someone else feels the same. I know it helps me.
All I can advise is you get the hell away from abusive people. I don’t know how bad your situation is but I was stuck with a group of people who were gaslighting alcoholics and addicts because I had no other friends, I didn’t get away until one of them sexually assaulted me.
@@mynameachef8614 So you're just gonna let the struggle of life run you over like a rodent on the highway? Consider the fact that millions, possibly billions of other people are dealing with the same issues you are right now and often worse. They may or may not have an excellent future ahead of them but why do they continue regardless of what could happen to them? Because they're not going to allow themselves to be humiliated by the absurdity of this world. So might I ask why do you choose to let your problems eat away at you? If you're going to throw yourself under the bus, then so be it, that's not my choice to decide, but all you're doing is denying your potential because life didn't give you a purpose right away. It isn't easy, it isn't nice, but it's better to go out in the fire then be blown out into the darkness.
I like to say that I'm in between who I am and who I'm going to be. that way it feels like I'm working towards becoming someone rather than drifting in the unknown
People said they cared, but deep down I knew they were getting tired of listening and caring for me all the time. I was just baggage to them so I cut myself off to try to heal. When I tried to come back to their lives they were perfectly fine without me. They thrived, that was just one of the reasons I knew that if I went through with it, it wouldn’t have affected anyone
I'm just a random stranger who is just scrolling through the comments and advice usually doesn't help but before someone loves you and cares about you, remember to love yourself
Yep. Nobody gives a fug. Including yourself. At best you'll be someone's sad story they post in a YT comment section for likes a couple years down the line. Why should that bother you when you'll be dead anyway? Life will carry on without anyone, none of us will be remembered, and one day the universe too will cease to exist. Stick around if you like, if nothing else just to see what happens in this tiny speck on the universe's timeline that we had a one in a bajillion chance of existing in, and to eat pizza.
Damn dude. I really think you should meet new people. If they're your friends, just cut em off, if they're your family, you could maybe find friends that actually care for you (and aren't bad influences) this is easier said than done, so as robotic as it sounds, maybe you should get advice about being more social, or maybe you'll find a friend group that's almost just like you. Either way, suicide is like really illogical in many instances, I mean, have you seen the outside of your country yet?
yknow, this video showed up in my youtube suggested 8 years ago. I was 11, and this video helped me stop in that moment. Back then I said “I’ll keep going, but i’ll stop after I turn 18.” I turned 18 a few years back, and told myself “this was it,” and this got suggested again. I said “Ok, 2 more years when i turn 20.” Then 20 came along and I tried. And while youtube didnt suggest me this video this time, it’s what I thought of when I was laying in the hospital bed contemplating how i was gonna pay an ambulance fund with an empty bank account. While I’m still struggling to pay it off to this day, thank you. You’ve probably saved so many lives with this video alone, and I’m one of them. Thanks man.
Yeah they are full of shit lol. I honestly wish people would just be like "yeah man go ahead", but no of course they need to pull the virtue signalling bullshit just to make themselves feel good
Yeah whenever hearing that you gotta wonder if they fully mean it or it's out of self-rightousness. Yeah there's the chance someone may understand what that actaully means and can explain why the person matters, but most of the time you can tell it's just regurgitated, like telling someone "bless you" after they sneeze.
I think it's a coin toss for how they'd feel. Sometimes it's true they'd really miss you, and you unconsciously deflect anything that could bring you out of that mindset for even a second (I've been there and probably will be back soon), but like understanding people, it's hard to tell Personally I never felt more motivated to do it from hearing that, but it didn't cure anything either. Rather than hold out for someone with a new perspective to come along and give you energy to keep going because you like them, the next best bet is finding something (like a hobby) you can put any amount of attention into. Just any amount that you're able to give, and find some consistency with this/these things. At the very least, shit would feel different and it's better than shit staying the exact same. You can also say you worked hard/tried your best, unlike a lot of well-adjusted people (especially from this grim perspective) I hope something gets a bit better, for anyone reading this and for myself
@@spacebassist Oh, man, it's funny how we get into the same solutions even by living different lives... I'm full onto game development for the past months, and it's like drinking alcohol but without the addiction, haha. Just putting myself in this 'dream state" where I'm alive and suffering, but juuuuuust above the threshold of dying.
Something wonderful happened to me last week. I took a walk down onto a dock. I had walked here uncountably many times for years. I never took a flashlight, never told anyone where I was going, I figured the chance of some horrible accident happening was too slim to matter, and if death came than so be it. I walked onto that dock again to go stare out onto the lake. Some life in that lake rippled onto the surface, a board creaked beneath my foot- and I was afraid. I realized this was the first time I had felt fear on this dock, that something bad could happen to me. However slim the odds were of death there, it was something I now wanted to caution against. And it was wonderful to desire life so keenly again.
No matter how little you care about your life, there is almost no possibility of you to not feel the need stay safe. You're a living thing, and living things like to keep living. No matter if it's a human or a fly.
Camus reminds me of Buddhas Flower lecture. One of his disciples asked him what the meaning of life is, what is the meaning of existence? The Buddha simply held up a flower implying what is the meaning of a flower? It just is.One of his other disciples had a flash of insight. The experience of being alive is primary. Camus is thinking along the same line when he points out that to be Human is to be the universe made conscious. What is the meaning of the universe and ourselves? It just is and we are.
@@duartelobo9435 maybe try applying this to humans to? The flower doesn’t know that it has a practical function it just does it’s job, maybe mankind has a practical function and we can’t comprehend it ourselves but what we can do is just exist and enjoy life while we are alive. I am not sure though, although this comment is a beautiful way of looking at life it may not be how everyone interprets life, find you’re own meaning and what works for u :]
Today at school we had the worst suicide awareness orientation I’ve EVER seen. They acted as though by continuing to egg on people that are hostile and not in a good state all of the sudden they’d go all soft and accept all help willingly, or that everyone showed signs. Or even that just by feeding something the same BS they’d all of the sudden open up to you. It’s complicated and it’s a war. They made it seem so simple, and the counselors didn’t even seem to care what they were talking about. It was definitely something they had to do, not wanted to
@@totallyreyalfactsfsfs 88 is a well known neonazi dog whistle. The 8 standing for the eighth letter of the alphabet, which is H. HH means h*il h****r.
I'm alive thanks to Albert Camus. I was in 3rd year med school when I met a patient that had a rare (NEM1) condition. She died and I screamed to the universe "Nothing makes sense!, bad people go rich and good people dies of cancer!!". That night I went to a bar and got drunk. On the way home I thought about killing myself so I threw myself to the highway but wouldn't die. Was rescued by some workers and went home without a reason to live. The day after I decided that even if there was no meaning to life, existence or the universe and there was only 2 choices: to live or not to live. Then I decided that I was going to live regardless there was a purpose or not. I was going to create my own purposes because I'm the only watcher of my existence. Its logic then to think that anything that affects your existence is the only thing that matters in the end. So my own purposes were good enough for me to live by. A few years ago I discovered Camus work and was astonished that someone decades ago thought pretty much the same conclusions I did. Since then Albert Canus is my hero.
@@heekyungkim8147 hey, you listen. Hang in there okay. Meaning or no meaning, the moments in between all the suffering, the few and far between moments of beauty and happiness are worth staying alive. I love you, please don't go away 💓
That is also the meaning of Hamlet’s line “To be, or not to be.” It’s a comfort to know humans throughout history have experienced the same despair. We are all more alike than we think.
i've always been a deep thinker and people confuse it with intelligence but no im actually just overanalysing everything and trying to get to the bottom of everything, the point of everything- and there isnt one. it is fucking exhausting not being able to take anything at face value, always finding the 'logical fallacies'. i dont even feel like a human being, im like a data processing machine except i have emotions and theyre really fucking strong and when people see that side of me they think im just a hormonal teenager going through an angsty ''woe is me'' phase but this perfectly described the existential dread and confusion has been the bane of my existence since i was a kid and you made me realise it actually isnt all THAT awful so thanks
as someone with ocd and strugle with intrusive thoughts making me question my existence and truly ask myself if i should live or not this video always helps to calm those thoughts down thank you so much this has helped me so much :)
my friend, who i’ve known all my life, who was literally like a big brother to me, he ended his life very recently. nobody knows the exact reason why, his teen years weren’t the best for him and he did some things that weren’t the best. when he was a teen, he stole things from his parents to buy drugs, and his parents chose to send him away instead of trying to help him. when he came back from the dominican, he seemed different, emotionless, like he lost a part of him there. but a couple months ago he came over for my moms birthday and for dinner. he seemed finally back to normal after about 4 years of seeming not himself. he seemed like my brother again. we had a fun time together. he played us some music he made, which was a good sign because he had interests again. he loved music but he lost that love for a bit when he came back from the dominican. but he was finally back! i was so happy. then, a couple months later, he ended his life. we don’t know the exact reason. we can of course assume some things, but we’ll never really know why. he was 23. his birthday was a couple days ago too. i miss you alej, i hope you are doing okay in heaven. sorry for telling a story in the comments i just needed to say to never end your life. i’ve had my hard times too, but you need to stay. people do love you, even if you don’t believe me, there are people who won’t be the same if you leave this earth. i love you all. it will be okay. ❤
People struggling with suicidal ideation will often be very cheerful when they have a suicide plan. They are happy because they found a way out, and/or they want to give their last days their all. It is a warning sign. I lost a distant family member in the same way. It's a harsh reality that I hope doesn't make things worse for you, but someone would probably tell you eventually, and you probably ought to know.
“All right, I've been thinking, when life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade! Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man whose gonna burn your house down - with the lemons!”
Idk man if I had some lemons all I need is some sugar I like lemonade a lot but yeah if I asked for an orange then wtf life can I see your manager like this is pretty bad service here like 🤨
I suffered with self harm and seriously considered attempting several times throughout my life. I felt as if I didn’t have the right to feel this way because i had a very stable and happy upbringing. This video hit me like a truck because it felt so real. Thank you.
Dude I totally understand not feeling like you have a right to feel bad/ want to die just because things couldve been worse. I wish I had something smart or deep to respond with but I don’t. I just feel the exact same way.
I have the exact same thing, and I really don't know why. My life is really, really easy and privileged, but I am still stupid and horrible. I don't understand
You have every right to your feelings. I self harmed for years, before upgrading to suicide attempts, and I also had loving parents, and all that. Depression doesn't discriminate, and I'm in this with you. My best to you, Melody.
@@brandycole387 You aren't stupid or horrible, I've felt the same, many times. I still do, but maybe if we tell each other, often enough, we will start believing otherwise. I hope so anyway. Best to you.
I always end up watching this when i am on the verge of suicide.... I am 26, living with my grandparents still (living there is a long story), i don't have a driving licence, i am autistic and fail in the education system....i am only good drawing. I just feel so meaningless and i feel like a burden, i feel like a trying to get attention. My brother in jail, my other brother is so clever, and the other other brother is more independent on me.... I'm the only girl in the siblings.. I do confess that my childhood wasn't great and a bit of my teens wasnt great either but, I am trying so hard to live and it messing me up.... My mother didn't help at all.... trauma is hard to deal with. I just needed to vent. Sorry and Thank you Sisyphus.
The only reason I want to do it is to make people reflect upon how they treated me. I want the people who have treated me like shit to know it, and I will ruin their reputation from beyond the grave. I want people who were genuinely nice to me remember me as I am, without giving me time to fuck up my relationship with them. Most of all, I would want people to know that I wasn’t just being dramatic, I wasn’t “just having a bad day”, I wasn’t just tired. My feelings and tears would become validated the second I take my own life away.
Why do you need other people to validate your feelings though? Even if you did there are millions of people around the globe who understand what you've been going through. Don't give time to the people in your life who take you for granted and cause you suffering. And definitely don't take your life for them
Woow this was 4 weeks ago, how it goes, are you still here? I really hope so... and, that you see that you have to live for you, and if you wanna show them something... that has to be that you are happy even with all the things they make to you... If you see this please answer... And sorry this is not my first language is difficult to say what I am thinking and that, sorry if this makes you remember something you don't want to too, I just wanted to see how it goes...
Yeah I understand how you feel.. but at the end of the day isn't emotional revenge on shitty people worth far less than your life and identity? when someone offs themselves, a lot of those "responsible" don't have the capacity to admit accountability and just end up avoiding feelings of regret and guilt in the first place.. so realistically the only damage done is to yourself in the end.
The quote “You’re the universe trying to understand itself, don’t end it all just because you got a little confused along the way” has probably saved me. I’ve always loved science, the field of understanding everything, so this quote resonated with me so much. I never looked at life the way of humanity is the universe understanding itself. And the last bit of you got confused, so what? Keep going, we’ll figure it out if we keep trying but if we give up we’ll never figure it out.
My dad killed himself last year in October. We didn’t get him the support that he needed and deep down we all knew that he needed it but we were all so absorbed in our own fucking lives doing things that I bet none of us can even remember at this point and now the only memory we’re left with is my dad. Only a memory. I used to come home for the few months after he died to see his truck and think “dad’s home!” And then 5 seconds later remembering. I’d always show him videos on TikTok and RUclips and I’d start climbing the stairs to go show him and day by day I’d remember that he’s gone fewer steps up until eventually I’d see cool things that he would’ve liked to see and not even thinking about going to show him anymore.
I'm so sorry for everything you are going through. You going down the stairs less each time is such a poignant reminder of the painfully slow processing of grief
I watched this video 5 months ago. I was set that I wanted to die, but I decided to search RUclips for videos on suicide(I didn't want a tutorial, I am not sure why I did that) and I stumbled onto this video. Long story short, this video is a large part of the reason I am alive and happy now. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
The only reason im still here is because, one day when i decided to finally jump in front of a semi-truck, a toddler with their mother got off and stood on the crosswalk i was supposed to cross as well. They looked really happy, like they achieved something happy, and i thought "Should i take away their happiness like the world took mine?" And i decided that day I wouldn't do it after deliberating for what felt like hours. I was a teenager, going through my parent's divorce, their lies, their very impossible to reach expectations, and just decided one day to not live anymore due to finding out, my dad almost did the same thing i was about to do now. So now, i am living my life just going through life and its struggles just so my dad could one day rest since he's really the only one who seems to have loved me unconditionally since i was born.
@Dannydolan88 Thanks for the kind words stranger. Im doing a lot better mentally, its just been jaded and uncaring when it came to my manipulative mother but still as caring as possible to other people. God was probably with me that day or some angel, even though he never heard my cries for help and answers during my parent's divorce, he heard my cries for help when I needed someone to stop me from doing something that could hurt other people.
I never really understood why Sisyphus doesn't just stop rolling the boulder and instead fully enjoy his idle life of just staring at it. It's equally absurd, equally meaningful, but with less suffering.
@@GeorgiXD322 i think its more that he would rather deal with the pain than be dead. He finds enjoyment in even the most painful things. I'm not sure if he's a masochist
@@GeorgiXD322that is the essential value of absurdity. Rebellion through enjoying the pain of it and KNOWING that you will never succeed. He says "one must IMAGINE". If you can't imagine that with full sincerety, you are back to the core question. Why bother?
I think its because our whole life is a struggle to become a better Human, and who is a good Human is your choise. No matter what is your ideals, you will want to struggle and feel pain, because its pain and struggle that moves us from point zero. And even if you doomed to fail, you still will struggle, which means you will become a better Human. Thats why sisyphus is happy. Everytime the boulder falls, and he comes back to point zero, He become a better Human, he truly lives, and he is happy and proud of his life of no-stop struggle and pain, because life is struggle and pain.
I think one of the most painful things that you can go through as a nihilist is the fact that you can never be 100% authentic around other people, because depression consumes you and you don't want to spread it to other people by pointing out that "this is ridiculous, I am in pain and you should be too and here's why..." You encounter other suicidal people and you resonate with them but you can never actually bond because what both of you are really thinking is that life is better not to be lived. You try to encourage them to fight out of it but all that really comes out is more of the regurgitated generic mess that doesn't work on you or anyone really.
Your second paragraph hits me whole. I never really thought about it that way, and I'm really thankful you made me realize that was the case. It makes me wonder what other things I've been doing wrong, all because I lack the experience of those with the same condition.
I’ve been dealing with suicidal thoughts since I was really young, they never left me and I deal with it daily. It’s been over a decade and I’m still kicking. It started from the abuse by my step father, and slowly turned into a sense of hopelessness. For years I’ve been telling myself i can’t do it, I’m my sisters only brother and we lost our mother only a couple years ago, the thought of them crying at my funeral breaks my heart. My family and friends are the reason I’m still alive, I couldn’t have made it this far without them.
@jessicaj9743you really just copy pasted a long version of “you will suffer forever if you kill yourself”? I hope your pillow is cold and wet tonight. I hope your mom gets tuberculosis. I hope someone steals your mattress.
Same bro...but don't give up, stay frosty for you and for the people what you love, enjoy every second, minute, hour,days, months and years with they...stay alive bro
@jessicaj9743F*ck your god. It’s my life. I can do whatever the fuck I want with it. If I want to kill myself, I should be allowed to without getting put in the mental hospital again.
I think about taking my own life because everything ive ever wanted in life since i was a little boy, ive now come to realise i can never have, but also am forced to watch those around me enjoy those things i would kill for.
"bad things happen to bad people" was unironically one of the thought patterns that led me to believe i was worse than shit. i grew up, thinking i was a bad person, and i grew up into that. now i actually am a person who hurts their loved ones. i would not fault anyone if they decided they no longer wish to interact with me. i've thought of ending it, tried it on multiple occasions. failed, (ofc) but for some reason people in my life still love me. they still want me around. i want to live to be there for them. to be the person they talk about, not this thing that i am now. (this comment was written while tipsy on hand sanitizer)
Bro, I know this goes against everything we believe in as men, but please go to therapy, get some help dawg cuz from what I can gather you got issues, if not trauma from your past
@r.javanainen8947 “It’s not your fault” a movie that illustrates that perfectly (imo) is Good Will Hunting. You should watch it maybe it will help you like it did me. And the beautiful thing about life is that we can change. It’s not usually easy and there might be lapses but you can do it ❤
I hope you're okay. If you are, please consider reaching out for help. It's never bad to talk about how you're feeling or to go to therapy. please know that people that you can reach out to.
i understand you. if you don't have $$ please consider the ananaias foundation. They have online group that helped me control my impulses and understand myself. You have trauma and if you wanna try, why not do this? It's free and honestly not as hard, you can learn. Please give it a try. I hope you are ok though. ~☁️
I am 49 and have had this idea for almost 20 years... I have flipped almost every rock looking for something more than internal reactive chemical addiction (dopamine, endorphins, serotonin, peptides, ect). Distraction is the refuge ive found but is sooo fleeting.
why should we have to distract ourselves from reality to keep ourselves from hitting the off switch. makes me just think all 8 billion of us would be much better off calling it here and doing whats best for the future generations, which is keeping them from ever existing. in this way, we prevent much suffering. the only bad thing is prevent further development of the world but who the fuck cares just end it and we wont have brains to even regret it later.
This video was a major help. For a couple years I was dealing with some trauma memories and experiencing some physical trauma and I guess I lost who I was and what I wanted to be. I didn’t tell anyone because I didn’t think anyone would care. So, I bottled it up and just kept taking hit after hit after hit. To the point where I couldn’t take it anymore and nearly tried to end it. In that moment I heard two different voices and stopped myself. That was the best decision I’ve ever made…Two weeks later I told someone and I talk to a therapist and was diagnosed with depression. It felt better but it still hurts. Thank you so much. I may of not have been here if I didn’t stop myself…
I don’t often comment, but this video moved me. I grew up surrounded by the Christian faith in a loving family. To this day, I am deeply moved by how incredible my family is and the good that they have put into this world-I am deeply grateful for them. Their faith is a core part of that. As a result, I spent my childhood investing everything I had into that faith, studying daily, praying, worshipping, contributing in church… I was the “poster child” of the youth group. Three years ago, as I was reading a book by a Christian missionary. He told a tragic story about sex trafficking in the Himalayas, one that nearly destroyed his faith. I didn’t finish the book. That night, I looked out at the stars and I wondered for the first time-how could God exist and allow that to happen? I thought I left my faith at that point, but I didn’t. I was pricked with a notion of absurdity, but I buried it as deep within me as I could without realizing it. After years of going back and forth on faith, I finally decided last week to start asking the questions I really always had-are all people really fundamentally broken at birth, just because? Is faith really reserved for the people lucky enough to meet other faithful people in their lives? I have been told that God can handle your questions, but I have come up empty. Now I find myself standing over a chasm, with faith on one side and absurdity on the other. I thought I leaped over it years ago, but I merely hid in a bush to avoid the terror below. I never made a leap into faith as Kierkegaard described, because I was born on the side of faith. Now I find myself with no option but to leap. I discovered The Myth of Sisyphus a few days ago, and it was the first reading to give me a semblance of peace upon grappling with the fundamental absurdity of reality. I don’t know where I will land upon making the jump, but I am comforted knowing that others have leapt before and continued walking… Thank you for this video.
@@monkeycheeseburgerman I hope that you may grow deeply into a meaningful, transformative faith that brings agape into this world. I discovered in my search that faith goes far, far beyond Biblical knowledge. I have a very thorough knowledge of theology and could recite story after story… and yet somehow I came to the same conclusion. But you don’t have to! I don’t have anything close to certainty. Keep searching. Deepen your faith beyond propositional knowledge of the Bible. Check out Awakening from the Meaning Crisis by John Vervaeke. It may give some new insights. And as a side note, :(
I feel the same way… it’s just so hard to get over it. Oftentimes I wish I was more stupid so I could just blindly follow my own path without having to think about these kind of things… somehow I feel like it will always bring me pain to not fully know. I think suicide (that wasn’t mentioned in this video) is also trying to find out if there really is a meaning to life or not… like finding the answer is the ultimate risk and the ultimate sacrifice.
@@nathanchasse8189he Bible is endless knowledge. It has an answer to everything, the most important ones are simple, some seem more complicated. The Bible is not a dead book which was changed by people, it's a living book which has been kept alive for a reason - > Because why would God let the biggest answers be unavailable to humanity? I guess the biggest factor of people not accepting the Bible is the acceptance of the answers you get. Sin needs to be punished as a result of justice, which means everyone is guilty and we all deserve hell. Thats not easy to accept. Thats the same reason why I stopped thinking about the topic - simply because I'm afraid of facing reality. Still, the Bible is magical and the ones who truly seek will find.
I didn’t realize how genuinely depressed I was until I watched this, having what I’ve felt put out infront of me made it so much clearer, I really hope anyone going through this can find the courage to talk to others about it but even just seeing the comments and seeing other people with the same reaction feels like a massive weight off my shoulders
I always love the comment section of videos like this, people often share their own personal experience, discussing the matter that is mentioned, encourage each other, make jokes,... It makes me feel better to see people open up about stuff that they wouldn't talk about irl, it feels like I'm expressing my feelings by the words of others just because of how relateable they are, it also makes me happy knowing so many different people from so many different places can share the same thoughts and feelings
@@shely_D7vil i think we should just let them be. they are probably lonely and wish for someones attention or that they could get help, all we can do is hope they feel better soon
Still, no. I'm not going to be happy with suffering. I'm done. Been through all this crap before- Camus, self-help, spiritually, etc etc. Nothing is a permanent fix and I'm sick of placating the situations of now. Peace, ya'll. Life isn't worth living.
i had severe depression from 2019 up til around a month ago, maybe less. one night around almost a year ago i was sitting in my room when my mind started to race, which is when i had an uncontrollable burst of emotion and i cried so hard i threw up. i realized that was the first time i cried since 2019. to say that moment was cathartic is a massive understatement. i still cant exactly explain it, but something in my brain was triggered and i felt like an entirely different person after. i think in that moment i knew things were going to naturally get better that was the turning point for me and i've been slowly recovering ever since. people like to believe that it's on them and only them to save themselves, but i think time can be one of the biggest saviors. everyone is different, but maybe if you give yourself more time, you'll reach some form of a turning point. but i cant stress enough how good it will feel when you do. the brain is a weird thing and it can do unexpected things; sometimes bad things, sometimes literal life-saving things.
Dear fellow stranger, I had a very similar experience with my suicidal thoughts also starting in 2019. I too have also experienced this overwhelming amount of tears recently, which I never really thought I was capable of. Something inside has stopped me from going through with it, although I can’t sure what or who it is. Either way, I’m glad I’m still here - and im certainly glad a human such as you is also alive. Thanks for sharing and making me feel less alone tonight. Sincerely, random stranger on internet 💗
sometimes that depression really pulls you in dude. im either really dense or deeply depressed but this video just made me want to end it more. the idea of living because im here so make the best of it, seems so so daunting. im going to become a “functioning” adult who has a job and has to pay bills and buy groceries, and it just seems so incredibly saddening. as a society we are destorying it in such ways that it makes life absolutely miserable. why should i want to live such a mundane, gloomy life?
It's unbearable to work and buy groceries for no purpose at all. But when you find the things that do give you meaning, that stuff becomes pretty painless means for supporting that purpose.
@@Heena6790I used to be in a series of depression. Every now and then I’d have a week of hurt, shame, etc. but I never acted on it. It’s not near as bad as others at all, but I found that afterwards, life has things to offer. Enjoy the little things. If you can’t find a meaning, then just live to be happy, you might find one. that could be children, Ik I want to be a parent
@@Heena6790 don't end ur life now bro it's just the beginning. I honestly have no idea of what kind of situation u are going through but I think u have the power to overcome and to enjoy life even if it's not always easy. I'm also turning 18 this year and even if I will feel again the happiness of my childhood, I'm very excited and I know that it won't be easy but I will do what I really want do even if the society may not accept it. I think that you need to find an objective in ur life so u can focus on it and the pain that u feel will become secondary. I know that I'm not very good in English but I wrote it with my heart. I really hope things will get better for you and that eventually you will accept life absurdity. I believe in you
I personally think 19 is such a shitty age to be going through, so my advice to you is to write every single feeling you have before going to sleep, focus on relaxation and comfort, and take it easy. Start taking care of yourself seriously. You'll end up figuring shit out at your own pace. Remember, you're 19, not 90.
it’s really refreshing to watch a video on this subject by someone who actually understands the thought process on why someone would want to do it. So sick of seeing calls of purpose. Thank you for this, helped a lot.
It actually make me angry when people start talking about "purpose". There is none, you *idiots* that's why I am this way! The only comfort is finding those like me, who see the fraud for what it is, and there's precious few of us. Hi, there.
I will not watch this ever again because it triggers some pretty bad stuff but watching this video on loop back in 2021 had a part in keeping me alive, I was very very very depressed and sure I was gonna do it. But somehow I found this, and something about it spoke to me deeply. Thank you for keeping me around.
@FairyTurds I had a bad childhood but I keept moving ...I almost stopped one day but didn't do it and it got better its not granted you have to fight but never give up its ok if you lose that will happen but don't give up
It's such an odd concept to me that people don't live this way innately. When I try to help friends or family struggling in their life I always struggle to put this concept into words. Thank you so much for this video.
@Sumit Mazumdar I actually disagree with it to such an extent that I believe it would be actively harmful for people to think this way. Regardless I really appreciate you showing this to me as I believe it is important to see every point of view and I appreciate the time that you took showing this to me.
Weird how, before even watching this video, I've come to many of the conclusions pointed out in this video. Life is an absurd, meaningless joke, where our purpose is that of a sensory organ for the universe. I've learned to hold that the meaning of life is to create one's own meaning, and that the absurdity, as common as it is in life, is a part of what makes life so entertaining. For, when things make sense, I'm even more surprised and joyed by such events!
@@hamez1300 We're just born into the world and what we're doing there? Survive? Living? In the end, we're dead anyway. But as I said, you can make it meaningful with your own purpose and make it worth a while.
@@GregorianMG I guess I sort of agree with what your saying. What I don’t agree with is people saying “everything’s futile but do xyz anyways” because anything they say would kinda be promoting cognitive dissonance.
I’m sorry to hear that. I lost my boyfriend to suicide and I know he thought of this too before he died. But it’s not true. I cared. But somehow, it wasn’t enough to keep him alive.
@@yourghost26 the painful truth is not everyone cam be helped some people can be helped while some are beyond unhelpble we live a world of pain cruelty terror but also joy but mostly a depressing real world
@@yourghost26 and sometimes life is so unfair and cruel to you that you feel like dying or that trying is worthless and feel like nothing works for your life and life isnt perfect it really is not and not everyone is our friend thats the harsh truth for reality and sometimes life can really be a a$$hole to us
This video drove me to tears after the realization that the world isn't meant to be understood, we are just supposed to understand what we are supposed to do in it and now what its actually meaning is. The idea of giving no meaning to the world is so uplifting in a way for me. I've never been suicidal but I've thought there was no real meaning to life for about a year now and I finally understand that while that is true it is okay to be. It's okay that there's no deeper meaning to living and that the part of it that has meaning are the things we do while we are living. This has given me a whole 'nother outlook on life that I had yet to see. Enjoy the suffering and you will come to realize how much less important finding meaning in life is. Just the emotions you feel from this joy can drive you to continue living.
I’ve tried ending my life a few times with overdoses and a gun and eventually I used the stubbornness I had about the pointlessness of life to give myself meaning to stick it out and I came to this realization myself and to see a video putting it into words I couldn’t thing of gives me comfort and hope. Thank you.
@@deadcopfiend777 I thought the same thing. Perhaps it jamed. I've heard loads of stories when someone tries to shoot themselves but the gun jams. Either it's a sign from God or suicidal people are really bad at gun maintenance.
@@tresinator5094 it might be but it’s a genuine question. The statistics we on who is happy with the failure of their attempts don’t count the brain injured vegetable people buried alive in group homes
This video just appeared on my RUclips out of nowhere, and this is even 8 years ago. I'm not sure if it's a coincidence because lately I have been feeling so suicidal, yet this video showed a true meaning of life. Right now I'm starting to feel better, so I hope in the future I wouldn't be stupid enough to try and off myself again. We should all just enjoy life:)
I watched one radio head video, now this is every video I see. In all seriousness though, this video was extremely wisdom filled and will forever be in my mind
I believe I may have personally overthought my brain to a crisp. I feel nothing anymore, I have constantly battled logical and emotional wars within my psyche that I figured I may have just burnt myself out. I’m struggling to even just construct this paragraph because I don’t know how to convey my insanity into something understandable. I feel as if I’ve scrambled so many scenarios and interactions and preconceptions in my head, that my mental state has progressively gotten worse and less functional since I was a kid. Now I’m almost 18 and this hell that is life is an agonizing metamorphosis in all forms physically and mentally. Just wish I could go painlessly, and see my father again too.
To everyone struggling: if you struggle to help yourself, you can help other people going through similar things. With feeling good on how much you’ve helped people, you may one day find a way to help yourself. It’s a slow process but is really worth it in the long run. Even if you’re going through hell, just keep going. If nothing’s stopping you, who’s saying you can’t? One day there is a glimmer of a good future. Pursue it. Best wishes to everyone!
I tried and it broke me even further ,not only did the person throw me away like old trash and didn't care but never asked how I was doing 💀 no thx I actively distance myself from people like me wich Isn't the best way but it's a suloution for now
Been suicidal since I was 5 due to anxiety and medication. I question everyday how I survived to my current age (17). This video sums up what I learned through my peak of depression during middle school but I still don’t know why I haven’t just ended the suffering and slept for eternity.
I'll say this, it's obvious 5yo usually don't have suicidal thoughts, so I assume you must have went through terrible experiences. But the fact that you're still here despite them means you are stronger than you think.
I have gone trough similar stuff and i agree,you just learn to exist i guess,deal with it,i do not really have the words to describe it but to enjoy what life trows at you and drives you trough,that does not make it less painful yet i still have no idea why i have not let down,even tough i clearly know i wnt to,i made up my mind long ago,but theres a flame within that refuses to extinguish,i live a dead mind within a inmortal body,thats the best words i can put it trough
Sometimes, the best way to comfort someone who is suicidal isn't to give them advice. It's just to comfort them. Show them kindness. Something the world is lacking.
My mom has been saying a lot of suicidal shit lately, and I was trying to be logical this whole time…
Thank you for reminding me the fact that sometimes, you just need to be kind and comfort them
@@lorenzooliveira1157Just ur presence, understanding and listening, don’t even have a try much, listen to the layers of words and viewpoints spoken out of pain when she speaks deep, be there. All she needs I promise.
ok but what the fuck am i supposed to tell them
@@empty_nam just give em a warm loving hug. Works for me atleast
I'll remember this.
The world would be better without me, which is why i must keep living
This is the best comment on youtube
I see it as this worlds needs sum change, which is why I must keep living
Funny enough, this is literally how i manage to cope with my own "tendencies". I live out of spite cause my next-door bullys are people i absolutely hate (who not only affect majority of my childhood, but taken part of making me like this), that i just thrive to be successful out of pure spite. This will never live down either lol...
Edit (2024): its been a year since i made this comment, and it still stands. (Just not this edgy as i used to lol.)
Just to clear things up, those next door bullys are my close relatives at my fathers side. Ever since my father passed away, they were nothing but snakes in hopes of trying to take everything my father owns that were always meant to be passed down to me.
My mother and me ultimately just made a choice of moving out of that toxic house. Since not only we live with my toxic grandfather who in burst of an argument said to "leave my house this instant", but with my next door bullys who did nothing but act as if they are simply holier-than-thou while leeching off from us.
So far, life has been good. My mom is happier with her new boyfriend (i approve). I can finally get my mind off from everything that used to plague my mind as i'm doing better than ever. The place we just moved in is a whole new type of shock, considering it's somewhere in the countryside. Though safe to say, it's definitely better than before as this place is more on my mother side. So not only my mom knows everyone, but i could also reconnect with my other relatives who in turn, my mother had to leave years back to get married to my dad. Not saying there aren't any bad apples around here, but absolutely way better than my old environment. (I recently even got invited to my first hangout with a group of friends than staying lonely! So thats a plus!)
Other than doing good, i changed up my motto for a bit. Sure, i'd live out of spite but those people who ruined me we're no longer are the reason for such thing. I don't want their silly faces to revolve around my life anymore, so i'll live out of spite because i refuse to give up in general. I will use my existence to laugh at the face of hardships cause at least i'm still alive and running.
Oh, update for those relatives? Let me give you a long list from what i heard:
-one relative is in massive debt from getting scammed in those bitcoins stuff
-one relative is near death because of all the drinking (which serves him right cause he is also a perv and abuses his authority)
-the same relative who was in debt lost the ability to see his own daughter cause he is irresponsible and a deadbeat father
-one (my main bully) relative who is (probably) in their early-mid 30s still couldn't even afford to get a job and is just a massive freeloader (also drinking problems)
-and much more lol
Glad that isn't our problem no more.
@@corndogonasticc May your bullies commit a Floyd Collins one day!
the greatest hater of all time.
"You are the universe attempting to figure itself out" is such a powerful line.
Trying to figure out how to use other people. There is no science. Only sales.
isn't that ripped straight from exurb1a though
No one asked to be here, certainly not to be the universe’s experiment.
@@Void_Dweller7 that’s dead ass what it seems. So record what you feel, say what you mean. It’s the only thing one can do.
@@indfnt5590 but what if one doesn’t want to do that then suicide is the answer
my dad took his own life and ive felt empty ever since. i have tried to do the same three times. this video means a lot to me and i thank you for it
I hope you're okay 🫂 keep living
Sorry for your loss. I'm thinking of ending myself too.
I’m so sorry for your loss
Keep going soldier never give up hope
❤❤❤❤
Had a friend once, she diden’t ask for help, never talked to anyone about the bad parts in her life, she always seemed full of joy. One day she just ended it all. You never know the demons someone is fighting.
May 3’rd 2021 r.i.p
:(
rest in peace her soul
damn I’m sorry for your loss, on my birthday too, next birthday I’ll pour one for your friend
Rip but………
didn’t*
Edit: I never meant any disrespect, I literally said “rip but……” I just get a little disrupted when someone spells something wrong. Honestly, y’all are snowflake babies for getting mad at me correcting someone over something so minor.
I’m so sorry
i don’t know if you will ever see this but this video genuinely saved my friend’s life. he wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for this video. thank you.
Is he alright now?
@@Cat_Kotzehes DEAD (jk idk)
if someone is really suicidal a video like this wouldn't do shit, your friend being saved by a video means he actually wants to live, he just got lost, unlike some others
@@epicuber1351 he was definitely suicidal. while this video may not have been the thing that saved him completely this definitely contributed to it and it made him see life in a different way.
@@korykori doesn't seem to work for me, and I'm not even at the end of the rope I still got at least 2 months
I don't think i'm suicidal or even depressed, or even struggling with existentialism, but most of the time I feel as though I simply cannot be bothered to endure any of life; that dying would give me the rest I crave yanno
But think about it
Death will come and it's eternal for all we know,
So why don't you just stay alive even if it's not that great
You'll have plenty of time if not infinite time to rest later so just wait for a second
The only thing keeping me going is spite. Everything and everyone is so terrible and awful. That's why I won't ever lose to them. I'm the ultimate sore loser. I won't prove them right by just letting things end like that. Spite actually goes a long way.
Ok I'd say that you just have to wait a bit until your feeling less bad and try to use that as an impulse
@@c.carnival why are they so awful
@@c.carnival i don't believe you people arent as awful as they seem
I love how every social media platform knows I’m not ok but my parents still haven’t figured it out
They think we are machines don't they?
r/im14andthisisdeep
@@huhbooh bruh whaa-💀
@@huhbooh real (I’m 5)
Heyyyy don't be too hard on yourself sending you lotsssss of hugssss
I think it was a year ago that I found this video on Reddit when I was struggling with suicidal ideation. I felt that life was meaningless and my struggles against it were pointless. This video, the explanation of absurdity and the spiting of it, helped me find courage to live another day. I'm doing much better now thanks to lifestyle changes and medication, but when I had almost nothing in the fight against my own self, I had this, and it was enough. Thank you.
David Draghici except when depression can actually be biological, as there’s 2 different kinds. One you describe, and another where the production of dopamine is stagnant in the brain. However, it takes a good doctor to recognize which one it is, and an even better one to recommend a psychiatrist if it’s the former.
@@sandshark2 Yes, that is a very valueable information. Thanks for correcting me. Have a good day.
David Draghici no problem, no hate towards you
@@sandshark2 nice thanks
The lack of meaning isn't the big lroblem for me. Its the boredom and misery that makes me suicidal.
It's truly rare to see a nontoxic community section under such a serious toppic, it's so common to see people mock/make fun of others with mental issues and i greatly appreciate this video, thank you.
People here also have a great sense of humor too! One of the more purer comment sections for sure
Jesus christ go outside "muh toxicity"
@@spicypicklebernington5074 SpicyPickle Bernington
Is it a mental Illness tho?
😂😂😂
I remember seeing someone say something along the lines of “I’m not sad, nor happy. I’m not suicidal, but I’m not optimistic. I just want to feel something.” And it sticks in my mind to this day because of how accurate it is. I’m not suicidal primarily because i know i have purpose, and i know there are people in my life that would never be the same, but it’s such a struggle to find feeling. It’s difficult to explain, but the words “i just want to exist. I just want to feel something.” Sum it up well
You may not be suicidal but would you care if you died in some freak accident? If your life ended today at no fault of your own would you miss life, or would you miss the people in your life? I’m not gonna pretend to be some expert but I’d be willing to bet that if you experimented for a while and you put yourself out there, found an okay job that you love to do and a few hobbies that you would find yourself wanting to be here for yourself as well as others. Maybe I’m wrong but it’s just the vibe I’m getting.
But you are feeling something , you clearly care about the people in your life. However monotonous that feeling has become because of feeling it on a daily basis , you are still a human being that cares for his close ones and whose close ones care for them too. Never forget that , and cherish that feeling for what it is.
Could be C-PTSD NGL! Being emotionally under activated and feeling very little emotion from stuff could be childhood trauma! Can also be dysthymia, all depending on your symptoms as a whole ofc!
Very well said. I absolutely understand this.
I always quote "Someone said they were close to me?" from Tropic Thunder because he was doing things for people rather than for himself. Then again, his idea of himself got him stabbed by a child lol
Last week my uncle took his own life, he had been a tortured soul for most of his adult life, but he was so kind. Thank you
I’m sorry
i’m so sorry for your loss…
My condolences. Loss is incomparably hard.
Your uncle's a brave man. It's easier to think about it. It's harder to go through with it. If a person suicides and prevails, that's the person's final act. That's why so many don't do it
I'm so sorry. What was he like?
I find it incredible that Camus has written a book about your RUclips-channel.
He was a fan of this channel
@@alialsaffar9 that's a myth
Source?
@@r0hanhs a credible one
@@sorrychangedmyusername3594 I made it up
To everyone struggling with helping the suicidal:
Acknowleging how badly we must hurt to want to kill ourselves or how tired we are is not encouraging suicide, I promise. THAT is what we need to hear, that we are seen, that somebody knows how badly we are struggling. Then address the tiredness. WE need care, not your feelings, not our family's feelings. We're not selfish, we're tired. Just say "It's okay to feel this exhausted. You must be hurting really badly. Is there anything I can do to help you? Even something small, like just staying with you and listening, or watching something together? We don't have to change your life, I just don't want you to have to face this alone."
That's it. It's that simple. Don't tell us not to die. Tell us that it makes sense that we want to die. I promise it helps. That's all I ever wanted to hear.
if you need help go talk to your Friends, family and people you trust, life can be great and will get even better after the pandemic ends so do not waste it and life have a lot of good experiences and memories that are gonna make you think it was all worth it, a lot of people who tried to end their lives remember that they changed their mind and are happy to be alive, if necessary search for help in the internet and if you can afford it call a therapist "ending your life is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" also do not be shy to call for help.
@@robmarthin7156 You're missing the point. For a lot of us, our family is the reason we're suicidal, and we have no friends. Therapy is at a premium in america currently. For a lot of us, there is no one we can trust. For some of us, our whole lives have been like this, it HAS been a permanent problem, and asking us to keep going is like asking someone to keep walking on a broken leg. We're TIRED. If I was suicidal and I heard this, I'd want to die even more. If not you, who? If not now, when? Offer water to those lost in the desert. Stop telling them to walk another 3 miles to the gas station when they have no strength left. It's easier to give up. There's no strength left to call for help. You have to BE the help.
thanks I didn’t know how to help my friend especially when I’m the kind of person that’s bad at expressing themselves with words and gestures
@@Itotallymadethisup that broken leg metaphor really hit me tonight. My bad hip has been acting up today to the point I had to pull out my once in a blue moon cane just to get out of bed and reach the kitchen. I just wanted to eat for fuck's sake. I can't walk consistently right now and I dont want to. I just needed to get something.
But I always feel like I'm faking it. This limping is soooooo clearly an exaggeration to everyone else. I dont know what's wrong with my shitty stupid leg. I can't explain why once every couple months my hip just waves a shockwave of pain through my whole body. I cant even sit comfortably wothout flaring up the pain.
I just wanted to eat, but is that even worth it anymore?
)
Absurdist reality is like being on the verge of suicide because you feel like no one cares, calling a suicide hotline, they don't pick up, and you find it so funny that you don't go through with it
honestly that's hilarious
And that's the best example of absurdism I ever heard
I lost my 13-year-old daughter to suicide six months ago. Needless to say, things have been a nightmare ever since. As a means of self-therapy and hopes of helping people, I started creating videos in which I hike through nature and narrate my journey with grief.
It's so important that we talk about it. It's a difficult, ugly part of life that our society tries to just pretend doesn't exist. Thank you for making content like this to try and improve the narrative and help others who are struggling.
@@hjgu-dy8vb I understand how you feel, especially after losing her. I'm 36 myself and like you, I know how cold and bitter life can be. Despite that, she wasn't "lucky"--she was sick, struggling, and made an impulsive decision at far too young of an age.
I know you and I don't know each other, but please talk to someone if suicide is starting to seem like a rational decision. A lot of life sucks, but a lot of it is okay. Please stick around. Everyone in your life would be truly devastated by your death, believe me. ❤
@Love_Yourself4830 as a man who no one cares about I don't think anything will be lost to be honest ur kid was young and u still never got to do much so I feel like u lost something there but my parents dead anyway and my aunt won't care to much I think she might cry but yeah
I'm so sorry for your loss 🙏🏻 I'm sure she has now found peace, I don't know her situation but she won't be suffering whatever brought her down anymore which I hope you can take some sort of tiny comfort in.. suicide absolutely destroys some family's & I wish yours all the very best.
@@hjgu-dy8vb revolt against the suffering. get up and be that person your wishing to be
My condolences for your beautiful angel. Don't mind that one person in your replies, I promise they probably weren't in their right mind when writing that reply. Your daughter was hurting ma, and I understand it hurts from losing someone so precious to you. I don't have children but I know if I had them and they were to do something as such as that, I would be broken. She's looking over you, and miha I know she's telling you she loves you in everything you do. She's the morning clouds, and maybe even the sun. She's the moments where you laugh your heart out and the moments where you're crying alone. She's in every moment when you might not even notice it. You're strong, and she's with you. Always. ❤
Girl i loved committed suicide. Now I realize she had pushed me away but in a subtle way. You see, before she had ended her life. Her and I were on a break. To sum it all up she told me to trust her and that she would come back to me one day. She was a very spiritual person so she always believed in reincarnation and other-worldly beliefs. So ofc her saying “we will meet one day” can mean a lot. I never saw the signs of wanting to take her own life. I guess I was too busy being in love with her. Focused too much on her positives. But anyways she took her life in November. I only found out about her death last month. We took our break in September. So I’ve basically been waiting for a dead person for quite a while. The realization of that broke me. Mostly because I could have texted her any time during our break. But I didn’t out of respect. So during her final moments she had probably been hesitant, hoping I’d send one message any message, because that was the type of person she was. If she had felt hopeless or in distress I’d always somehow text her and get in contact with her. So during her final moments, I’m 100% sure she was hoping I’d save her and I couldn’t even do that. I’m now at a weird turning point in my life. I’m lost and I don’t think I can trust and depend on people anymore. I laugh here and there but I mean that’s normal. I’m with a crowd and i just think I am mimicking the crowd around me. Whenever I’m alone I’m just so sad and hopeless. I’m basically just lost and I don’t know where to go from here. I’m just trying to live the rest of my life to the best of my ability.
Hey man, I'm so sorry to hear that, if you want someone to talk to about it I gotchu.
Hey, KingZakku. Suicide is not the answer. You can be grateful just for the opportunities life can present you. Also, there is more to life than death, try finding something to rely on, I'd say Jesus.
Just don't blame yourselves for that
Yes, I agree with the reply above me, don’t blame yourself, she made a choice and at that point there was nothing anyone could have done. She’s at peace now
@@smeggiamagarwine Special place in hell ngl
November 25th, 2009.
I gained hearing damage. I gained anxiety. I gained confusion. I gained despair. I gained sadness. I gained rage.
I lost my Mother. My lifeline. I lost memories. I lost years. I lost feeling.
I found confidence. I found perseverance.
It was not the end of me, but a beginning. I miss her dearly. We still don't know why it happened. But that's okay. I've accepted and moved on.
cold ass mf
Exactly. I don’t know if I stole this but I always tell myself something. Physically you have 1 life, mentally you have infinite lives. If you lose one of the mental lives, you can start a new one.
@@purple6705 bruh
i went trough the same 3 years ago now. But nowadays i understand how important it is to accept something we dont fully comprehend, and how much it takes to come to yourself again and moving on despite all those uncertainties and what ifs. But after the storm you always find a new self, more mature and stronger than before.
@@DameLillardLover thats a great quote :D
I've been suffering with depression and suicidal ideation for decades.
As ive grow older, the struggle is not with sadness or the meaningless of life, but rather suicide as a business decision.
That's what's scariest to me.
Same. I just can't perform to this world's standards.
@@AM-wv5qy did you come here to help, or sympathize? Or to try to tell people with suicidal ideation to go ahead and do it? Not sure what ego trip you're on with this comment. You need to read 'Be Here Now' so bad.
@@outfeeder6322 lmao I'm not telling people to commit suicide lol and I do not have ego I'm telling people the truth I'm just sharing people my experience
@@AM-wv5qywhat you’re saying is faith not truth silly
What you just said is nothing more then a personal anecdote so please shut up
@@AM-wv5qy I've read it.
I’ve been in this “I have to make a mark on this world before I die” and “we’re all gonna die anyways so, what’s the point” cycle for a while until I saw this. This helped me a lot man, thank you.
Update: Yeah never mind, the thoughts came back. I’m getting a therapist.
how are you?
@@justanaroacefella Thankfully, I’m doing better thank you
@@YTLavendelia if you ever need to talk though we can
@@justanaroacefella I appreciate your concern very much! But you don’t have to worry, I’ve been doing much better, thank you
Whenever I get to the mind frame if "what's the point?" I like to think of a butterfly. It grows, it eats, it transforms into this beautiful creature who lives no more than 2 weeks. In the grand scheme of things this little butterfly will be outlived a hundred fold by my own existence, and yet even though its fleeting, the beautiful picture of this tiny creature will live on in my mind until the day i pass. I am but a butterfly in the vast expanse of the cosmos, but I can be beautiful all the same.
December 11th, 2019
Lost a friend and one of the smartest and funniest young men I had ever had the pleasure of meeting. Only the good die young. That young man should be top of his class in college right now, but today he’s 6ft under. Rest in peace
I’m sorry it was a day before my birthday but to think was happy before somebody died is tragic
My mother died at my happiest moment because I never got to meet her and my dad… my mother doesn’t even know him and she never will plus my grandpa killed my grandma so I’m a mistake and I just wanna kill myself becasue life never fucking changes.
Rest in peace I'm so sorry of your loss
❤ my friend died too
@@TheAngelOfDeath000 rip 🙏
Very relatable. Had a very successful friend that was a 'rags to riches' type. Only 20 years of age and he's managed to be financially stable and successful. Very charming and modest person too, never thought he would've died on that night I stumbled upon him on Walmart, the night before he decided to go out and drive off state to kill himself via drowning.
It has me wondering, for somebody his criteria and success, how can anyone choose to kill themselves? He had everything and more, was there something missing? Was he bottling up an emotion he didn't let go of? Who knows. All I know is that he's gone forever and I'll never find another close friend like him. Hate how life works like that, some people die for no reason and you have to try and continue to live life that way. Its shitty. More so that I just walked out of a job and I'm once again unemployed with 1k in debt and no sense of direction of life. And I'm only 21. I don't want to be apart of this world anymore.
Absurdism: the chad version of existentialism
@Firecraft Pyro You sound fun at parties
@@lapillus2344 nif nof flif dog bif crif my splif
@Firecraft Pyro and it was that moment firecraft pyro didn't realize the fact that he was the cringe incel normie who mocked people with own opinions to influence to gain status
@Firecraft Pyro I can tell.
@Jack Cable Wooooosh
We had a coworker committ suicide at work he suffocated himself. He had a wife, 2 young children, he was 28 years old, money in the bank. I could just see something was off. Noone else could see it but I could see it because I feel it too. Its like being alone no matter who youre with.
There are a thousand words I could say to you, but none will save you from the shadow that hides within yourself. Know that you are the master of your own mind, you can overcome this evil by sheer will.
There are a lot of things I could promise you, it's all going to be fine, you are loved, but these things aren't going to reach a person that is unwilling to help himself.
It is not your fault you are feeling like this, it is a natural consequence of the demons that have been cast towards you. But you will have to be the one to slay them, and I'm going to tell you how.
Think of happiness, in essence, like a flame. It is something that is easily squashed if you don't take care of it, recharge it, it is a breathe that you have to rekindle every now and then.
It is law of nature that each flame must carry a dark side, for each light casts a shadow upon that that is not illuminated. What I'm trying to tell you, is that you may have all the company in the world, but it is your flame that will illuminate your soul.
My advice, find peace. Learn to acknowledge these thoughts, and come to the realisation that there is nothing that can force you to think anything. You are a free being, you have the ability to pause whenever it feels overwhelming. Take advantage of this ability, so that you may step back when your thoughts overcome you with sadness.
I hope you find peace. If it helps there is always someone out there, that is willing to love you for who you are.
@@erikeriks❤
@@erikeriks I don't know who you are but thank you. I really needed this
@erik cool story bra/sis
@@erikeriks "there is nothing that can force you to think anything" line really helped.. thank you 🤍
3 years ago I was in that situation where nothing gave meaning to me, I felt empty and heartless, I wasn’t feeling my heart beat, I was on the edge to give it all up. I thought about the meaning of life and I found none that could make sense. Then I started to think deeply and I realized, since this life has no meaning I should give meaning to it. I feel like life isn’t a test were you must do good to go to heaven, life is an empty canvas and you must paint how you want it.
This is so beautifully said❤ And I’m so happy you’re still here.
Thats great my friend 👍🏼
That's actually beautiful
But how do you paint that empty canvas
Keep on painting that canvas!!!❤❤
I suffered severe depression several years ago. I could remember several years ago after divorce with my wife which brought me into my disastrous journey on Alcohol and cigarettes. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with cptsd.
Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Much respect to mother nature the great magic shrooms.
Microdosing helped me get out of the pit of my worst depressive episode, a three year long episodeenough to start working on my mental health
James :Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Germany. Real
The shroom experience stands as my most remarkable journey, an awe-inspiring encounter that left an indelible mark of amazement.
Is he on instagram?
Does he make delivery across the state??
I hate it when people say "we'll miss you we care for you" yea no shit but why should I think about how my actions will affect you if I know that you only give me affection when you see me breaking down? let me be selfish for once
I love this comment so damn much!
Yeah, that's something that frustrates me too. In a way it feels as if people only care about you if you are useful to them and that they only say "no we love are, you are loved, we care about you" just to quench your suicidality just long enough for you to be useful to them again. In a way that is the most selfish thing I can think of.
especially since theres a good chance your conscience will be erased
yes. ppl call sucidial ppl “selfish” bc they will hurt their loved ones. but, what abt me? i wanna kms, why does it matter what you think ? but we’re the selfish ones, huh.
Imagine living a life where sister and mother always say "you ruined my life".
Some people are so selfish and the saddest thing is that they deny it by saying things like "if only you knew what i always wished for you"..
'You are the universe trying to figure itself out" thats deep as balls dude
Read Alan watts papers on monism trust me it’s like that but on dmt
Cap this is cap. The point is to become a god
@@roni.s375 being a god would be boring
@@roni.s375 struggle is the spice of life
@@TheHexbugfan it really is
Considering this video has existed for 8 years, it came to me in a very fitting moment. Thank you.
I mean this with no exaggeration. This video and the philosophy of Camus really did save me from a really dark place. I found this video in the middle of a terrible depressive episode and the image of Sisyphus being happy just had a strong impact on me and gradually I was able to climb back out of the hole I was in. So thank you for this video, I still come back every once in a while
Best thing ive seen all day, keep going my friend!♡
@@ulas4630 Ty! It’s always a battle but I’m a whole lot better than I was
Hoping this video has the same effect on me ❤ glad to hear you’re happy
same i’ve been coming back to this video for months
I really felt like that can we friends
The closer one draws to truth, the more absurd everything is. Also the sense that utter aloneness is the only real friend. It takes guts and illumination to persevere, and a robust sense of humor. That or blissful ignorance.
Absolutely. God must be lonely! If we are god we’re all lonely! Just god experiencing schizophrenia
@Firecraft Pyro reality is insanity full of insane people caught in logic defying delusions based on materialism and narcissistic shallowness
@@gdust6579 mic drop
Maybe it's just a way of finally getting that rock to the top, and then it falling down all over again, to reach a truth to reveal more questions than before, and I just take it as a thinking exercise that never ends, and so the fun and excitement of finding/learning something new never grows old.
@Sumit Mazumdar This is just my viewpoint, but it seems to me that the total absence of life itself is a much bigger problem than anything that we experience within our life. But then again, one simply could not care when one doesn't even exist in the first place.
I always tell my friends “I just want to die” and no one takes me seriously and sometimes I don’t either but lately I have found myself saying that genuinely. I genuinely think that me dying is for the best. I’m tired. Sometimes I’m just tired of of being tired. These videos gives me determination to keep going. Thank you
I can feel you man
Same...i was so close to die...is not good to say but well...
@soldiergaming5358 i'm proud that you're still here. would you like to talk?
we’re all tired. i’m so sorry, you can keep going. always you can keep going
@Mitholox3you can’t fix all the broken people. Take it easy. I mean this with the best intentions
I keep coming back to this video after years and year of living, this may me one of the if not the most impactful thing I have ever watch.
Thank you
I've been struggling with suicidal thoughts a lot recently. I don't know, I get through the day fine and then late at nights I cry and wish to die. I've always thought of how futile my life is, that I'll always keep suffering, whether it be because of me or the life around me. It feels like I can't stop it. But there are little times where I'm happy to live, like listening to my favourite song or seeing a squirrel run past me when I go out. It's hard though. I have nobody to talk to, I don't want to burden them with such harrowing information. I'm hoping the days get better, that life will be good, and for everyone in this comment section, or for anyone reading this comment. Let's make do with what we've got. :)
im proud that your still here keep it up
😂😂😂
what are you gonna get from dying? how is killing yourself gonna solve any problems?
proud of you, internet stranger! i'm here if you need to talk :)
I’m exactly the same! Lmk if you wanna chat about it
This video became a medicine for me; everytime i feel bad, i come here.
Thank you Sisyphus
me too bro, me too...
Jesus loves you 🙏
same, i have it saved and come back to it every few months or so
i just do another playthrough of red dead redemption 2 whenever i feel bad
Glad I am not the only one
You talked me off the ledge until you said "most fullest". Good bye world
See you soon again
@Saurabh Mehta He's probably dead.
@@elbashar7589 probably
U ok bro?
@@grav8455 he’s gone 😔
Ever since I was 9 I have tried to take my own life. After I saw this video I started to really work on myself and im happy to be alive. I'm 14 now about to turn 15 in September and I'm so happy to be alive I'm happy with everything around me I love grass I love wind in my hair I love the sun I love the moon. I am so grateful for this video of course its not the only reason I'm alive but it is definitely a thing that really helped me. Thank you so much for posting this video
I hope you continue to feel better!! Blessings ❤
I'm 16, struggled with severe depression all my life. Videos like this help me a lot. Have a good day/night ❤
I hope everyone is doing great!! Ur gonna get through!! Ur loved and cared about and I’m here for u ❤
@@PaisleySmith-w3c I wish the best for you :)
Please take what you've learned, write it down, re-read it when you need it, and pass it along. You will help others in the future. 👍💙
My mom took her own life when I was young, and I've had some mental issues myself, so this video really hits hard for me.
I'm sorry for your loss, hopefully you can find peace every single day you live, she may rest in peace as well ♡
I wish the best for you. Your post actually got me crying.
Same thing with my mum, we can get through this ❤
Dc lmaoppp
Im so sorry for your loss💔💔💔
I've lost 4 people to suicide in my life time, and while i appreciate this video, something just isnt sitting with me. I just feel like it goes much deeper than " just appreciate life. " I dont know.
yeah this is a shitty video. Telling suicidal person "just be happy", is like telling a person without legs "just go running"
It's most likely being in good health and in a good environment too
that's cause it does. you can't just magically become happy with your situation because you feel like it. that's not how it works.
@@humanleader184 and thats exactly what this video tries to achieve, it isnt just "be happy pushing the boulder" but "accept the absurdity, embrace it and revolt, you won't inmediately revolt, but you will eventually find a way to, then just continue, be a happy Sisyphus" we all have to fight to come to terms with the absurdity, and this can be really hard to do, but it is never impossible
Dont overthink bout it
I am not suicidal but I am definitely confused. You may not have saved my life by making this video but you did help me save my sanity.
this fr ^^^
Love that YT gave me an ad for Fresh Market before this video. That really made things feel liveable.
I cannot believe that “fuck it we ball” is such a powerful statement. I mean before it was like kinda impactful but after watching this video, it’s kinda the key to finding happiness.
It’s either fuck it we ball or it’s ALL over. No matter what we as people do it will never have an immortal impact on the future so what you do in your life is entirely up to you. Live happy, live fast, have kids or don’t, laugh, cry, scream, smile. None of it matters and anything you do is inherently selfish and for your own gain, the weight of the world is an individual weight borne by everybody uniquely. No matter how you live life or end life you are living it to its fullest and in the best way possible since there was never any end goal of life in the first place. Every living thing has the generalized purpose to interact with the world around it and then die and decompose so energy can be recycled again and again, your mere existence means you have already fulfilled your duty to live. Even the newborn child who dies being born and the mother who dies giving birth to their child has already lived life to the fullest because all that is required is to merely exist. Everyone dies so choice isn’t an option, the only selfish thing that we as humans do is to dictate whether or not we are satisfied in dying.
i mean shit thats what i say when i do the hardest things, like take a god damn shower
have you ever seen those memes with ryan gossling lying on the stairs/ some anime character staring down at the screen with a window saying:
"your fuck it we ball/it is what it is is running out do you want to continue?"
Then there are three options of "yes", "no" and "help"
What do you do after that point?
Idk if it meant to get me crying but it did.
I've been struggling with suicidal thoughts for past few years.
Thank you so much for making this video.
I felt like crying while watching this
Jesus loves you guys! He died on the cross for our sins! Repent and live for God before it's too late 🙏🙏
@Momo lmao, no. dont tell me what to do.
this video fr changed my life a year or two ago
@Shercocktail holmvxzxc LMAO
you probably wont ever see this comment but i just wanted to say that this is one of my favorite videos on youtube and every few months i come back to watch it again, but thank you for making this video man.
169 likes. Nice.
@@ncedwards1234 and then theres people like you
God damnit 4 likes to many
For tha weed number you see
Life is full of imperfection originating from the best of hearts
Sisyphus 55, when i was at my lowest point in life i came across this video. It genuinely helped me become better and happier. I even made an informative speech on sisyphus and camus because of it. Thank you sisyphus 55.
this video helps. I’m not suicidal, I’ve never lost anyone close to suicide, but sometimes the sad is real, y’know? I will think of this video in my darkest hours and revolt against the absurdity, I’ll be ok. thank you
edit: this video ended up actually being a breakthrough, I feel like a new person. I hope everyone here can live a happy life, and thank you again.
I feel happy for you mahn🫂
@@Darizzard. thanks man 🫂
i get u man, life is weird, but sometimes u get moments of greatness too
I agree
@@CoolTopixDude8765 sorry to hear that
i don’t think i physically wanna die it’s probably more like i want to be another person to have another life under my control, im tired of living around people i hate in an environment that only keeps damaging me. i also have no clue who i am, and even if i knew her im 100% sure i’ll hate everything about her.
oh wow it feels like you reached inside my brain and wrote what you found in there. I hope it helps you to know someone else feels the same. I know it helps me.
remember, its gonna get worse, i dont even know why i watch these videos anymore they are of no use, abandon hope
All I can advise is you get the hell away from abusive people. I don’t know how bad your situation is but I was stuck with a group of people who were gaslighting alcoholics and addicts because I had no other friends, I didn’t get away until one of them sexually assaulted me.
@@mynameachef8614 So you're just gonna let the struggle of life run you over like a rodent on the highway? Consider the fact that millions, possibly billions of other people are dealing with the same issues you are right now and often worse. They may or may not have an excellent future ahead of them but why do they continue regardless of what could happen to them? Because they're not going to allow themselves to be humiliated by the absurdity of this world. So might I ask why do you choose to let your problems eat away at you? If you're going to throw yourself under the bus, then so be it, that's not my choice to decide, but all you're doing is denying your potential because life didn't give you a purpose right away. It isn't easy, it isn't nice, but it's better to go out in the fire then be blown out into the darkness.
I like to say that I'm in between who I am and who I'm going to be. that way it feels like I'm working towards becoming someone rather than drifting in the unknown
People said they cared, but deep down I knew they were getting tired of listening and caring for me all the time. I was just baggage to them so I cut myself off to try to heal. When I tried to come back to their lives they were perfectly fine without me. They thrived, that was just one of the reasons I knew that if I went through with it, it wouldn’t have affected anyone
that shits hurt but u have to love urself first .. no one will care abt
u except urself
I'm just a random stranger who is just scrolling through the comments and advice usually doesn't help but before someone loves you and cares about you, remember to love yourself
Yep. Nobody gives a fug. Including yourself. At best you'll be someone's sad story they post in a YT comment section for likes a couple years down the line. Why should that bother you when you'll be dead anyway? Life will carry on without anyone, none of us will be remembered, and one day the universe too will cease to exist. Stick around if you like, if nothing else just to see what happens in this tiny speck on the universe's timeline that we had a one in a bajillion chance of existing in, and to eat pizza.
Damn dude. I really think you should meet new people. If they're your friends, just cut em off, if they're your family, you could maybe find friends that actually care for you (and aren't bad influences) this is easier said than done, so as robotic as it sounds, maybe you should get advice about being more social, or maybe you'll find a friend group that's almost just like you. Either way, suicide is like really illogical in many instances, I mean, have you seen the outside of your country yet?
@@chickennooget5812 same
yknow, this video showed up in my youtube suggested 8 years ago. I was 11, and this video helped me stop in that moment. Back then I said “I’ll keep going, but i’ll stop after I turn 18.”
I turned 18 a few years back, and told myself “this was it,” and this got suggested again. I said “Ok, 2 more years when i turn 20.”
Then 20 came along and I tried. And while youtube didnt suggest me this video this time, it’s what I thought of when I was laying in the hospital bed contemplating how i was gonna pay an ambulance fund with an empty bank account.
While I’m still struggling to pay it off to this day, thank you. You’ve probably saved so many lives with this video alone, and I’m one of them. Thanks man.
This some gay shit
I feel that when someone says you do matter to a suicidal person, they get more motivation to commit suicide becuase you are lying to them.
Yeah they are full of shit lol. I honestly wish people would just be like "yeah man go ahead", but no of course they need to pull the virtue signalling bullshit just to make themselves feel good
Yeah whenever hearing that you gotta wonder if they fully mean it or it's out of self-rightousness. Yeah there's the chance someone may understand what that actaully means and can explain why the person matters, but most of the time you can tell it's just regurgitated, like telling someone "bless you" after they sneeze.
I think it's a coin toss for how they'd feel. Sometimes it's true they'd really miss you, and you unconsciously deflect anything that could bring you out of that mindset for even a second (I've been there and probably will be back soon), but like understanding people, it's hard to tell
Personally I never felt more motivated to do it from hearing that, but it didn't cure anything either.
Rather than hold out for someone with a new perspective to come along and give you energy to keep going because you like them, the next best bet is finding something (like a hobby) you can put any amount of attention into. Just any amount that you're able to give, and find some consistency with this/these things. At the very least, shit would feel different and it's better than shit staying the exact same. You can also say you worked hard/tried your best, unlike a lot of well-adjusted people (especially from this grim perspective)
I hope something gets a bit better, for anyone reading this and for myself
@@drened8502 That's exactly why I'm not a therapist, lmao.
@@spacebassist Oh, man, it's funny how we get into the same solutions even by living different lives...
I'm full onto game development for the past months, and it's like drinking alcohol but without the addiction, haha.
Just putting myself in this 'dream state" where I'm alive and suffering, but juuuuuust above the threshold of dying.
Something wonderful happened to me last week. I took a walk down onto a dock. I had walked here uncountably many times for years. I never took a flashlight, never told anyone where I was going, I figured the chance of some horrible accident happening was too slim to matter, and if death came than so be it. I walked onto that dock again to go stare out onto the lake. Some life in that lake rippled onto the surface, a board creaked beneath my foot- and I was afraid. I realized this was the first time I had felt fear on this dock, that something bad could happen to me. However slim the odds were of death there, it was something I now wanted to caution against. And it was wonderful to desire life so keenly again.
No matter how little you care about your life, there is almost no possibility of you to not feel the need stay safe. You're a living thing, and living things like to keep living. No matter if it's a human or a fly.
Even smaller steps like this show big differences. 💙
Camus reminds me of Buddhas Flower lecture. One of his disciples asked him what the meaning of life is, what is the meaning of existence? The Buddha simply held up a flower implying what is the meaning of a flower? It just is.One of his other disciples had a flash of insight. The experience of being alive is primary. Camus is thinking along the same line when he points out that to be Human is to be the universe made conscious. What is the meaning of the universe and ourselves? It just is and we are.
retropian Nailed the meaning of existence my man
A flower.... I like that
It izzz what it iz
I meeeeaaaan, a flower has a concrete and practical function. It's essential to the life of the plant, maybe I'm wrong
@@duartelobo9435 maybe try applying this to humans to? The flower doesn’t know that it has a practical function it just does it’s job, maybe mankind has a practical function and we can’t comprehend it ourselves but what we can do is just exist and enjoy life while we are alive. I am not sure though, although this comment is a beautiful way of looking at life it may not be how everyone interprets life, find you’re own meaning and what works for u :]
everytime i feel like ending my life i watch this video and it makes a difference, thank you
Today at school we had the worst suicide awareness orientation I’ve EVER seen. They acted as though by continuing to egg on people that are hostile and not in a good state all of the sudden they’d go all soft and accept all help willingly, or that everyone showed signs. Or even that just by feeding something the same BS they’d all of the sudden open up to you. It’s complicated and it’s a war. They made it seem so simple, and the counselors didn’t even seem to care what they were talking about. It was definitely something they had to do, not wanted to
@Dannydolan88you have 88 in your name. If that doesn't stand for 1988 i think you should do what is mentioned in the video.
@@QwertyoUipopen the fucking window you trollass mf rock dum jack ass
@@QwertyoUip The fuck is wrong with you
@@QwertyoUip Dude wtf
@@totallyreyalfactsfsfs 88 is a well known neonazi dog whistle. The 8 standing for the eighth letter of the alphabet, which is H. HH means h*il h****r.
I'm alive thanks to Albert Camus. I was in 3rd year med school when I met a patient that had a rare (NEM1) condition. She died and I screamed to the universe "Nothing makes sense!, bad people go rich and good people dies of cancer!!".
That night I went to a bar and got drunk. On the way home I thought about killing myself so I threw myself to the highway but wouldn't die. Was rescued by some workers and went home without a reason to live.
The day after I decided that even if there was no meaning to life, existence or the universe and there was only 2 choices: to live or not to live. Then I decided that I was going to live regardless there was a purpose or not. I was going to create my own purposes because I'm the only watcher of my existence. Its logic then to think that anything that affects your existence is the only thing that matters in the end. So my own purposes were good enough for me to live by.
A few years ago I discovered Camus work and was astonished that someone decades ago thought pretty much the same conclusions I did.
Since then Albert Canus is my hero.
I am still feeling suicidal even after i read Albert Camus. It kills me that I can’t make any sense of my existence.
@@heekyungkim8147 hey, you listen. Hang in there okay. Meaning or no meaning, the moments in between all the suffering, the few and far between moments of beauty and happiness are worth staying alive. I love you, please don't go away 💓
To live or not to live, that is the question...
/thathappened
That is also the meaning of Hamlet’s line “To be, or not to be.” It’s a comfort to know humans throughout history have experienced the same despair. We are all more alike than we think.
i've always been a deep thinker and people confuse it with intelligence but no im actually just overanalysing everything and trying to get to the bottom of everything, the point of everything- and there isnt one.
it is fucking exhausting not being able to take anything at face value, always finding the 'logical fallacies'. i dont even feel like a human being, im like a data processing machine except i have emotions and theyre really fucking strong and when people see that side of me they think im just a hormonal teenager going through an angsty ''woe is me'' phase but this perfectly described the existential dread and confusion has been the bane of my existence since i was a kid and you made me realise it actually isnt all THAT awful so thanks
I never felt like a human, been ostracized and beaten repeatedly since childhood 60 now. I'm tired of the joke already! 😢
Typa shit im on tbh.
Let me tell you something it doesn't get better but it don't get worse
@@psykronic5931I used to believe this until it did, now I'm not sure. I suppose suffering is relative though so maybe there's something to that.
bro jus like me fr
as someone with ocd and strugle with intrusive thoughts making me question my existence and truly ask myself if i should live or not this video always helps to calm those thoughts down
thank you so much this has helped me so much :)
my friend, who i’ve known all my life, who was literally like a big brother to me, he ended his life very recently. nobody knows the exact reason why, his teen years weren’t the best for him and he did some things that weren’t the best. when he was a teen, he stole things from his parents to buy drugs, and his parents chose to send him away instead of trying to help him. when he came back from the dominican, he seemed different, emotionless, like he lost a part of him there. but a couple months ago he came over for my moms birthday and for dinner. he seemed finally back to normal after about 4 years of seeming not himself. he seemed like my brother again. we had a fun time together. he played us some music he made, which was a good sign because he had interests again. he loved music but he lost that love for a bit when he came back from the dominican. but he was finally back! i was so happy. then, a couple months later, he ended his life. we don’t know the exact reason. we can of course assume some things, but we’ll never really know why. he was 23. his birthday was a couple days ago too. i miss you alej, i hope you are doing okay in heaven. sorry for telling a story in the comments i just needed to say to never end your life. i’ve had my hard times too, but you need to stay. people do love you, even if you don’t believe me, there are people who won’t be the same if you leave this earth. i love you all. it will be okay. ❤
People struggling with suicidal ideation will often be very cheerful when they have a suicide plan. They are happy because they found a way out, and/or they want to give their last days their all. It is a warning sign. I lost a distant family member in the same way. It's a harsh reality that I hope doesn't make things worse for you, but someone would probably tell you eventually, and you probably ought to know.
Well fuck me. You had a grown ass man crying from reading you.
Bless your fucking heart
“All right, I've been thinking, when life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade! Make life take the lemons back! Get mad!
I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager!
Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man whose gonna burn your house down - with the lemons!”
When life gives you lemons think about your desition and just do that
is this from portal 2? lol
Idk man if I had some lemons all I need is some sugar I like lemonade a lot but yeah if I asked for an orange then wtf life can I see your manager like this is pretty bad service here like 🤨
@@Blahsheep yeah it is
Rule 27: "When life gives you lemons, shut up and be thankful you got anything at all."
I suffered with self harm and seriously considered attempting several times throughout my life. I felt as if I didn’t have the right to feel this way because i had a very stable and happy upbringing. This video hit me like a truck because it felt so real. Thank you.
Dude I totally understand not feeling like you have a right to feel bad/ want to die just because things couldve been worse. I wish I had something smart or deep to respond with but I don’t. I just feel the exact same way.
I have the exact same thing, and I really don't know why. My life is really, really easy and privileged, but I am still stupid and horrible. I don't understand
You have every right to your feelings. I self harmed for years, before upgrading to suicide attempts, and I also had loving parents, and all that. Depression doesn't discriminate, and I'm in this with you.
My best to you,
Melody.
@@brandycole387
You aren't stupid or horrible, I've felt the same, many times. I still do, but maybe if we tell each other, often enough, we will start believing otherwise. I hope so anyway. Best to you.
me rn
I always end up watching this when i am on the verge of suicide....
I am 26, living with my grandparents still (living there is a long story), i don't have a driving licence, i am autistic and fail in the education system....i am only good drawing.
I just feel so meaningless and i feel like a burden, i feel like a trying to get attention. My brother in jail, my other brother is so clever, and the other other brother is more independent on me.... I'm the only girl in the siblings..
I do confess that my childhood wasn't great and a bit of my teens wasnt great either but, I am trying so hard to live and it messing me up....
My mother didn't help at all.... trauma is hard to deal with.
I just needed to vent. Sorry and Thank you Sisyphus.
@@nuggs5509 don’t give up brother. I can tell from reading this you’re a good person. You can still find people just like you and have a great life
@@nuggs5509 hey beautiful soul, just please don't give up. U have a bright future trust the timing of ur life....may God bless u with everything ✨💖
I'll show you my art 🎨 if you show me your drawings😇
The only reason I want to do it is to make people reflect upon how they treated me. I want the people who have treated me like shit to know it, and I will ruin their reputation from beyond the grave. I want people who were genuinely nice to me remember me as I am, without giving me time to fuck up my relationship with them. Most of all, I would want people to know that I wasn’t just being dramatic, I wasn’t “just having a bad day”, I wasn’t just tired. My feelings and tears would become validated the second I take my own life away.
i cannot disagree, i am the same
Why do you need other people to validate your feelings though? Even if you did there are millions of people around the globe who understand what you've been going through. Don't give time to the people in your life who take you for granted and cause you suffering. And definitely don't take your life for them
Woow this was 4 weeks ago, how it goes, are you still here? I really hope so... and, that you see that you have to live for you, and if you wanna show them something... that has to be that you are happy even with all the things they make to you...
If you see this please answer...
And sorry this is not my first language is difficult to say what I am thinking and that, sorry if this makes you remember something you don't want to too, I just wanted to see how it goes...
most relatable comment out here
Yeah I understand how you feel.. but at the end of the day isn't emotional revenge on shitty people worth far less than your life and identity? when someone offs themselves, a lot of those "responsible" don't have the capacity to admit accountability and just end up avoiding feelings of regret and guilt in the first place.. so realistically the only damage done is to yourself in the end.
The quote “You’re the universe trying to understand itself, don’t end it all just because you got a little confused along the way” has probably saved me. I’ve always loved science, the field of understanding everything, so this quote resonated with me so much. I never looked at life the way of humanity is the universe understanding itself. And the last bit of you got confused, so what? Keep going, we’ll figure it out if we keep trying but if we give up we’ll never figure it out.
My dad killed himself last year in October. We didn’t get him the support that he needed and deep down we all knew that he needed it but we were all so absorbed in our own fucking lives doing things that I bet none of us can even remember at this point and now the only memory we’re left with is my dad. Only a memory. I used to come home for the few months after he died to see his truck and think “dad’s home!” And then 5 seconds later remembering. I’d always show him videos on TikTok and RUclips and I’d start climbing the stairs to go show him and day by day I’d remember that he’s gone fewer steps up until eventually I’d see cool things that he would’ve liked to see and not even thinking about going to show him anymore.
My condolences to your father
Sincere condolences to your dad
Based dad, soy family
I'm so sorry for everything you are going through. You going down the stairs less each time is such a poignant reminder of the painfully slow processing of grief
@@JosephCummingtonare you okay?
I watched this video 5 months ago. I was set that I wanted to die, but I decided to search RUclips for videos on suicide(I didn't want a tutorial, I am not sure why I did that) and I stumbled onto this video. Long story short, this video is a large part of the reason I am alive and happy now. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
The only reason im still here is because, one day when i decided to finally jump in front of a semi-truck, a toddler with their mother got off and stood on the crosswalk i was supposed to cross as well. They looked really happy, like they achieved something happy, and i thought "Should i take away their happiness like the world took mine?" And i decided that day I wouldn't do it after deliberating for what felt like hours.
I was a teenager, going through my parent's divorce, their lies, their very impossible to reach expectations, and just decided one day to not live anymore due to finding out, my dad almost did the same thing i was about to do now.
So now, i am living my life just going through life and its struggles just so my dad could one day rest since he's really the only one who seems to have loved me unconditionally since i was born.
@Dannydolan88 Thanks for the kind words stranger. Im doing a lot better mentally, its just been jaded and uncaring when it came to my manipulative mother but still as caring as possible to other people. God was probably with me that day or some angel, even though he never heard my cries for help and answers during my parent's divorce, he heard my cries for help when I needed someone to stop me from doing something that could hurt other people.
@Danny Dolan did you cheat on her
that was an angel dawg, they lookin out for you
Damn, dude. Hope you're okay. Please try to reach out, and know that there will always be people that care about you if you do.
That makes me sad
Your videos remind me of GradeAUnderA, but the tone is so much more serious. They're very insightful and well-organized.
why would you compare something good to something terrible
@@BigTiddyTheRapper gradeA rules
@@sash0047 no
GradeA is an absolute tool
How in any way is this channel anything like gradeA.
Existentialist philosophy has helped me get through lots of dark times... well done!
I know i am late and you probably dont read the comments, but this video genuinely saved my life. Thabk you, truly.
I never really understood why Sisyphus doesn't just stop rolling the boulder and instead fully enjoy his idle life of just staring at it. It's equally absurd, equally meaningful, but with less suffering.
i believe its because he enjoys the pain / pushing the boulder
@@Axranewouldn’t that mean he’s a masochist? A person that enjoys pain?
@@GeorgiXD322 i think its more that he would rather deal with the pain than be dead. He finds enjoyment in even the most painful things. I'm not sure if he's a masochist
@@GeorgiXD322that is the essential value of absurdity. Rebellion through enjoying the pain of it and KNOWING that you will never succeed. He says "one must IMAGINE". If you can't imagine that with full sincerety, you are back to the core question. Why bother?
I think its because our whole life is a struggle to become a better Human, and who is a good Human is your choise. No matter what is your ideals, you will want to struggle and feel pain, because its pain and struggle that moves us from point zero. And even if you doomed to fail, you still will struggle, which means you will become a better Human. Thats why sisyphus is happy. Everytime the boulder falls, and he comes back to point zero, He become a better Human, he truly lives, and he is happy and proud of his life of no-stop struggle and pain, because life is struggle and pain.
I think one of the most painful things that you can go through as a nihilist is the fact that you can never be 100% authentic around other people, because depression consumes you and you don't want to spread it to other people by pointing out that "this is ridiculous, I am in pain and you should be too and here's why..."
You encounter other suicidal people and you resonate with them but you can never actually bond because what both of you are really thinking is that life is better not to be lived. You try to encourage them to fight out of it but all that really comes out is more of the regurgitated generic mess that doesn't work on you or anyone really.
Im shocked you just told what I do in my life :( thanks
Your second paragraph hits me whole. I never really thought about it that way, and I'm really thankful you made me realize that was the case. It makes me wonder what other things I've been doing wrong, all because I lack the experience of those with the same condition.
Bro yes u described it perfectly
being a nihilist must suck lol
Jesus loves you ❤️
I’ve been dealing with suicidal thoughts since I was really young, they never left me and I deal with it daily. It’s been over a decade and I’m still kicking. It started from the abuse by my step father, and slowly turned into a sense of hopelessness. For years I’ve been telling myself i can’t do it, I’m my sisters only brother and we lost our mother only a couple years ago, the thought of them crying at my funeral breaks my heart. My family and friends are the reason I’m still alive, I couldn’t have made it this far without them.
@jessicaj9743you really just copy pasted a long version of “you will suffer forever if you kill yourself”? I hope your pillow is cold and wet tonight. I hope your mom gets tuberculosis. I hope someone steals your mattress.
Same bro...but don't give up, stay frosty for you and for the people what you love, enjoy every second, minute, hour,days, months and years with they...stay alive bro
@jessicaj9743F*ck your god. It’s my life. I can do whatever the fuck I want with it. If I want to kill myself, I should be allowed to without getting put in the mental hospital again.
whomp whomp spread a band
@jessicaj9743 this video explains that your opinion means nothing, just like any sort of religion, it's all coping.
I think about taking my own life because everything ive ever wanted in life since i was a little boy, ive now come to realise i can never have, but also am forced to watch those around me enjoy those things i would kill for.
Here's the absurdity of it all, I actually got everything I (thought) ever wanted, and I still want to kill myself.
"Why are we here? Just to suffer?
"Yes, but only kind of"
@Sumit Mazumdar May I ask why you keep recommending this video do you agree with the viewpoint or do you have another reason why
"bad things happen to bad people" was unironically one of the thought patterns that led me to believe i was worse than shit. i grew up, thinking i was a bad person, and i grew up into that. now i actually am a person who hurts their loved ones. i would not fault anyone if they decided they no longer wish to interact with me. i've thought of ending it, tried it on multiple occasions. failed, (ofc) but for some reason people in my life still love me. they still want me around.
i want to live to be there for them. to be the person they talk about, not this thing that i am now.
(this comment was written while tipsy on hand sanitizer)
Bro, I know this goes against everything we believe in as men, but please go to therapy, get some help dawg cuz from what I can gather you got issues, if not trauma from your past
@r.javanainen8947 “It’s not your fault” a movie that illustrates that perfectly (imo) is Good Will Hunting. You should watch it maybe it will help you like it did me. And the beautiful thing about life is that we can change. It’s not usually easy and there might be lapses but you can do it ❤
I hope you're okay. If you are, please consider reaching out for help. It's never bad to talk about how you're feeling or to go to therapy. please know that people that you can reach out to.
You sound like someone who has a real good life that doesn't deserve it.
i understand you. if you don't have $$ please consider the ananaias foundation. They have online group that helped me control my impulses and understand myself. You have trauma and if you wanna try, why not do this? It's free and honestly not as hard, you can learn. Please give it a try. I hope you are ok though. ~☁️
I am 49 and have had this idea for almost 20 years... I have flipped almost every rock looking for something more than internal reactive chemical addiction (dopamine, endorphins, serotonin, peptides, ect). Distraction is the refuge ive found but is sooo fleeting.
why should we have to distract ourselves from reality to keep ourselves from hitting the off switch. makes me just think all 8 billion of us would be much better off calling it here and doing whats best for the future generations, which is keeping them from ever existing. in this way, we prevent much suffering. the only bad thing is prevent further development of the world but who the fuck cares just end it and we wont have brains to even regret it later.
@@XPCREEPER try to make life worth living for others ,we live for others
I think the purpose of life is pleasure, and freedom from pain
@@nyaruko-do2ok the problem is those arent exist or maybe if those do exist it really difficult to get
@@nyaruko-do2ok Those are hedonistic ventures, and are not ultimately fulfilling. Those things just postpone the worthlessness.
This video was a major help. For a couple years I was dealing with some trauma memories and experiencing some physical trauma and I guess I lost who I was and what I wanted to be. I didn’t tell anyone because I didn’t think anyone would care. So, I bottled it up and just kept taking hit after hit after hit. To the point where I couldn’t take it anymore and nearly tried to end it. In that moment I heard two different voices and stopped myself. That was the best decision I’ve ever made…Two weeks later I told someone and I talk to a therapist and was diagnosed with depression. It felt better but it still hurts. Thank you so much. I may of not have been here if I didn’t stop myself…
@the.seagull.35 Unfortunately most of it…
I don’t often comment, but this video moved me. I grew up surrounded by the Christian faith in a loving family. To this day, I am deeply moved by how incredible my family is and the good that they have put into this world-I am deeply grateful for them. Their faith is a core part of that. As a result, I spent my childhood investing everything I had into that faith, studying daily, praying, worshipping, contributing in church… I was the “poster child” of the youth group.
Three years ago, as I was reading a book by a Christian missionary. He told a tragic story about sex trafficking in the Himalayas, one that nearly destroyed his faith. I didn’t finish the book.
That night, I looked out at the stars and I wondered for the first time-how could God exist and allow that to happen?
I thought I left my faith at that point, but I didn’t. I was pricked with a notion of absurdity, but I buried it as deep within me as I could without realizing it. After years of going back and forth on faith, I finally decided last week to start asking the questions I really always had-are all people really fundamentally broken at birth, just because? Is faith really reserved for the people lucky enough to meet other faithful people in their lives? I have been told that God can handle your questions, but I have come up empty. Now I find myself standing over a chasm, with faith on one side and absurdity on the other. I thought I leaped over it years ago, but I merely hid in a bush to avoid the terror below. I never made a leap into faith as Kierkegaard described, because I was born on the side of faith.
Now I find myself with no option but to leap. I discovered The Myth of Sisyphus a few days ago, and it was the first reading to give me a semblance of peace upon grappling with the fundamental absurdity of reality. I don’t know where I will land upon making the jump, but I am comforted knowing that others have leapt before and continued walking…
Thank you for this video.
"how could God let this happen" makes you lose faith? If you were educated on the Bible you'd know. Idiot
@@monkeycheeseburgerman I hope that you may grow deeply into a meaningful, transformative faith that brings agape into this world. I discovered in my search that faith goes far, far beyond Biblical knowledge. I have a very thorough knowledge of theology and could recite story after story… and yet somehow I came to the same conclusion. But you don’t have to! I don’t have anything close to certainty. Keep searching. Deepen your faith beyond propositional knowledge of the Bible.
Check out Awakening from the Meaning Crisis by John Vervaeke. It may give some new insights.
And as a side note, :(
@@nathanchasse8189 yea clearly not and I'm not reading all that
I feel the same way… it’s just so hard to get over it. Oftentimes I wish I was more stupid so I could just blindly follow my own path without having to think about these kind of things… somehow I feel like it will always bring me pain to not fully know. I think suicide (that wasn’t mentioned in this video) is also trying to find out if there really is a meaning to life or not… like finding the answer is the ultimate risk and the ultimate sacrifice.
@@nathanchasse8189he Bible is endless knowledge. It has an answer to everything, the most important ones are simple, some seem more complicated. The Bible is not a dead book which was changed by people, it's a living book which has been kept alive for a reason - > Because why would God let the biggest answers be unavailable to humanity?
I guess the biggest factor of people not accepting the Bible is the acceptance of the answers you get. Sin needs to be punished as a result of justice, which means everyone is guilty and we all deserve hell. Thats not easy to accept.
Thats the same reason why I stopped thinking about the topic - simply because I'm afraid of facing reality.
Still, the Bible is magical and the ones who truly seek will find.
I didn’t realize how genuinely depressed I was until I watched this, having what I’ve felt put out infront of me made it so much clearer, I really hope anyone going through this can find the courage to talk to others about it but even just seeing the comments and seeing other people with the same reaction feels like a massive weight off my shoulders
I always love the comment section of videos like this, people often share their own personal experience, discussing the matter that is mentioned, encourage each other, make jokes,...
It makes me feel better to see people open up about stuff that they wouldn't talk about irl, it feels like I'm expressing my feelings by the words of others just because of how relateable they are, it also makes me happy knowing so many different people from so many different places can share the same thoughts and feelings
Except now the comments are filled with angry depressed people who say they want to die
@@shely_D7vil i think we should just let them be. they are probably lonely and wish for someones attention or that they could get help, all we can do is hope they feel better soon
Exactly! I know right :)
Jesus loves you ❤️
Still, no. I'm not going to be happy with suffering. I'm done. Been through all this crap before- Camus, self-help, spiritually, etc etc. Nothing is a permanent fix and I'm sick of placating the situations of now. Peace, ya'll. Life isn't worth living.
Bro fucking died 💀
Bruh this was just free therapy. Thank you.
i had severe depression from 2019 up til around a month ago, maybe less. one night around almost a year ago i was sitting in my room when my mind started to race, which is when i had an uncontrollable burst of emotion and i cried so hard i threw up. i realized that was the first time i cried since 2019. to say that moment was cathartic is a massive understatement. i still cant exactly explain it, but something in my brain was triggered and i felt like an entirely different person after. i think in that moment i knew things were going to naturally get better that was the turning point for me and i've been slowly recovering ever since. people like to believe that it's on them and only them to save themselves, but i think time can be one of the biggest saviors. everyone is different, but maybe if you give yourself more time, you'll reach some form of a turning point. but i cant stress enough how good it will feel when you do. the brain is a weird thing and it can do unexpected things; sometimes bad things, sometimes literal life-saving things.
by the way, im a random person in a youtube comment section. you probably wont take any of this seriously at first, but just think about it :)
This is very well said and I agree. Time can be one of the biggest saviors. I'm glad you got better!❤
Dear fellow stranger,
I had a very similar experience with my suicidal thoughts also starting in 2019. I too have also experienced this overwhelming amount of tears recently, which I never really thought I was capable of. Something inside has stopped me from going through with it, although I can’t sure what or who it is. Either way, I’m glad I’m still here - and im certainly glad a human such as you is also alive.
Thanks for sharing and making me feel less alone tonight.
Sincerely, random stranger on internet 💗
@@Sisyphus87 made my day. glad ur doing well!
Probably one of the reasons in still herey fear to commit hope it ll improve. When i feen good Im greatful for my formerself being cowardly.
sometimes that depression really pulls you in dude. im either really dense or deeply depressed but this video just made me want to end it more. the idea of living because im here so make the best of it, seems so so daunting. im going to become a “functioning” adult who has a job and has to pay bills and buy groceries, and it just seems so incredibly saddening. as a society we are destorying it in such ways that it makes life absolutely miserable. why should i want to live such a mundane, gloomy life?
Maybe you would enjoy living closer to nature if you don’t want to be as much a part of modern society
make your own reality
It's unbearable to work and buy groceries for no purpose at all. But when you find the things that do give you meaning, that stuff becomes pretty painless means for supporting that purpose.
yeah, this is why treatment exists for these psychiatric conditions. I don't think a video can help someone suffering severe mood disorders.
You will have plenty of time in death to rest, experience being HUMAN. You may not get another chance
Thank you for this video. I was stuck in a cycle of numbness and sadness and suicidal thoughts, but this video has changed my perspective on life.
I turned 19 this year and frankly I think this has to be the lowest point in my entire life.
This world is so shitty I’m proud of you making it that far. I’m turning 18 and I don’t know if I’m going to make it. It feels like too much.
@@Heena6790I used to be in a series of depression. Every now and then I’d have a week of hurt, shame, etc. but I never acted on it. It’s not near as bad as others at all, but I found that afterwards, life has things to offer. Enjoy the little things. If you can’t find a meaning, then just live to be happy, you might find one. that could be children, Ik I want to be a parent
@@Heena6790 don't end ur life now bro it's just the beginning. I honestly have no idea of what kind of situation u are going through but I think u have the power to overcome and to enjoy life even if it's not always easy. I'm also turning 18 this year and even if I will feel again the happiness of my childhood, I'm very excited and I know that it won't be easy but I will do what I really want do even if the society may not accept it. I think that you need to find an objective in ur life so u can focus on it and the pain that u feel will become secondary. I know that I'm not very good in English but I wrote it with my heart. I really hope things will get better for you and that eventually you will accept life absurdity. I believe in you
@@kazookid_4526 your English is wonderful
I personally think 19 is such a shitty age to be going through, so my advice to you is to write every single feeling you have before going to sleep, focus on relaxation and comfort, and take it easy. Start taking care of yourself seriously. You'll end up figuring shit out at your own pace. Remember, you're 19, not 90.
Camus: One must imagine Sisyphus happy.
Sisyphus: "Fuck you Camus I'm not happy godamit, I can't even die"
Lmfaoo
The book was great until this statement. Good that it was at the end
😂 lol
Again Camus: Don't listen to him, one must imagine Sisyphus happy.
@@govinddwivedi582 also Camus: drives his car into a tree at 100 mph
it’s really refreshing to watch a video on this subject by someone who actually understands the thought process on why someone would want to do it. So sick of seeing calls of purpose. Thank you for this, helped a lot.
Exactly
It actually make me angry when people start talking about "purpose". There is none, you *idiots* that's why I am this way!
The only comfort is finding those like me, who see the fraud for what it is, and there's precious few of us. Hi, there.
I will not watch this ever again because it triggers some pretty bad stuff but watching this video on loop back in 2021 had a part in keeping me alive, I was very very very depressed and sure I was gonna do it. But somehow I found this, and something about it spoke to me deeply. Thank you for keeping me around.
if anyone sees this comment im so proud of you for still being here. youre all so strong and i cant express how much you all deserve to be happy.
hey. you too :)
Thanks tho not sure if i can keep it up longer
@FairyTurds I had a bad childhood but I keept moving ...I almost stopped one day but didn't do it and it got better its not granted you have to fight but never give up its ok if you lose that will happen but don't give up
@@CheezeOverlord thanks man also i’m sorry that happened to you I can’t even imagine how that would be
Cool
It's such an odd concept to me that people don't live this way innately. When I try to help friends or family struggling in their life I always struggle to put this concept into words. Thank you so much for this video.
@Sumit Mazumdar I actually disagree with it to such an extent that I believe it would be actively harmful for people to think this way. Regardless I really appreciate you showing this to me as I believe it is important to see every point of view and I appreciate the time that you took showing this to me.
Weird how, before even watching this video, I've come to many of the conclusions pointed out in this video. Life is an absurd, meaningless joke, where our purpose is that of a sensory organ for the universe. I've learned to hold that the meaning of life is to create one's own meaning, and that the absurdity, as common as it is in life, is a part of what makes life so entertaining. For, when things make sense, I'm even more surprised and joyed by such events!
Life is essentially meaningless...
Bit you can make it meaningful with your own purpose.
@@GregorianMG What do you mean by meaningless though? Is it because there's no predefined purpose?
@@hamez1300 We're just born into the world and what we're doing there? Survive? Living?
In the end, we're dead anyway. But as I said, you can make it meaningful with your own purpose and make it worth a while.
@@GregorianMG I guess I sort of agree with what your saying. What I don’t agree with is people saying “everything’s futile but do xyz anyways” because anything they say would kinda be promoting cognitive dissonance.
Curiosity wills us to live! We all need an explanation for the nothingness and when things make sense it feels like progress.
The worst part of being suicidal is people only start actually caring when you commit suicide
@@Shadow92105 for few days
Bullshit. Imagine losing the person you love, how much it would break you, specially family. Atleast in my case.
I’m sorry to hear that. I lost my boyfriend to suicide and I know he thought of this too before he died. But it’s not true. I cared. But somehow, it wasn’t enough to keep him alive.
@@yourghost26 the painful truth is not everyone cam be helped some people can be helped while some are beyond unhelpble we live a world of pain cruelty terror but also joy but mostly a depressing real world
@@yourghost26 and sometimes life is so unfair and cruel to you that you feel like dying or that trying is worthless and feel like nothing works for your life and life isnt perfect it really is not and not everyone is our friend thats the harsh truth for reality and sometimes life can really be a a$$hole to us
This video drove me to tears after the realization that the world isn't meant to be understood, we are just supposed to understand what we are supposed to do in it and now what its actually meaning is. The idea of giving no meaning to the world is so uplifting in a way for me. I've never been suicidal but I've thought there was no real meaning to life for about a year now and I finally understand that while that is true it is okay to be. It's okay that there's no deeper meaning to living and that the part of it that has meaning are the things we do while we are living. This has given me a whole 'nother outlook on life that I had yet to see. Enjoy the suffering and you will come to realize how much less important finding meaning in life is. Just the emotions you feel from this joy can drive you to continue living.
I’ve tried ending my life a few times with overdoses and a gun and eventually I used the stubbornness I had about the pointlessness of life to give myself meaning to stick it out and I came to this realization myself and to see a video putting it into words I couldn’t thing of gives me comfort and hope. Thank you.
You failed with a gun? Please tell me what mistake You made so I don’t repeat it when doing so will cause much misery
@@deadcopfiend777 damn thats a little insensitive
@@deadcopfiend777
I thought the same thing. Perhaps it jamed. I've heard loads of stories when someone tries to shoot themselves but the gun jams. Either it's a sign from God or suicidal people are really bad at gun maintenance.
@@tresinator5094 it might be but it’s a genuine question. The statistics we on who is happy with the failure of their attempts don’t count the brain injured vegetable people buried alive in group homes
@@madmannn9576 gun maintenance… now if I could only save up for a fuckin gun to begin with
This video just appeared on my RUclips out of nowhere, and this is even 8 years ago. I'm not sure if it's a coincidence because lately I have been feeling so suicidal, yet this video showed a true meaning of life. Right now I'm starting to feel better, so I hope in the future I wouldn't be stupid enough to try and off myself again. We should all just enjoy life:)
Yeah RUclips fuckin watchin everyone
Hard to enjoy something that is not there...
I watched one radio head video, now this is every video I see. In all seriousness though, this video was extremely wisdom filled and will forever be in my mind
I believe I may have personally overthought my brain to a crisp. I feel nothing anymore, I have constantly battled logical and emotional wars within my psyche that I figured I may have just burnt myself out. I’m struggling to even just construct this paragraph because I don’t know how to convey my insanity into something understandable. I feel as if I’ve scrambled so many scenarios and interactions and preconceptions in my head, that my mental state has progressively gotten worse and less functional since I was a kid. Now I’m almost 18 and this hell that is life is an agonizing metamorphosis in all forms physically and mentally. Just wish I could go painlessly, and see my father again too.
I feel the exact same way
Same here bro, same here.
Seek help.
Veteran of psychic wars
I just think too goddamn much.
To everyone struggling: if you struggle to help yourself, you can help other people going through similar things. With feeling good on how much you’ve helped people, you may one day find a way to help yourself. It’s a slow process but is really worth it in the long run. Even if you’re going through hell, just keep going. If nothing’s stopping you, who’s saying you can’t? One day there is a glimmer of a good future. Pursue it. Best wishes to everyone!
I help people but I still don't feel anything at all. I just feel empty and numb.
I tried and it broke me even further ,not only did the person throw me away like old trash and didn't care but never asked how I was doing 💀 no thx I actively distance myself from people like me wich Isn't the best way but it's a suloution for now
but she left me
Been suicidal since I was 5 due to anxiety and medication. I question everyday how I survived to my current age (17). This video sums up what I learned through my peak of depression during middle school but I still don’t know why I haven’t just ended the suffering and slept for eternity.
Damn, 5?
I'll say this, it's obvious 5yo usually don't have suicidal thoughts, so I assume you must have went through terrible experiences. But the fact that you're still here despite them means you are stronger than you think.
Now that's a feat!!
I hope that things are better now. I know I’m just a stranger on the internet but if you need someone to talk to, I’m here ❤
I have gone trough similar stuff and i agree,you just learn to exist i guess,deal with it,i do not really have the words to describe it but to enjoy what life trows at you and drives you trough,that does not make it less painful yet i still have no idea why i have not let down,even tough i clearly know i wnt to,i made up my mind long ago,but theres a flame within that refuses to extinguish,i live a dead mind within a inmortal body,thats the best words i can put it trough
This is genuinely one of the best video essays I’ve come across, you should totally write a book