The Acolyte Episode 5 Review: There's No Armour Like Plot Armour Like No Armour I Know!!

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  • Опубликовано: 27 сен 2024
  • We're back with the most incomprehensible, terribly written show in a long time. This week we have to assume everyone in the show is an absolute MORON for any of this embarrassing clown show to make sense.
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Комментарии • 2,1 тыс.

  • @nicolasacosta1673
    @nicolasacosta1673 3 месяца назад +501

    Not letting an english man say the c word should be a crime. It's like not letting Samuel L Jackson say MF 😂

    • @Jonas-lj8ul
      @Jonas-lj8ul 3 месяца назад +37

      It STILL breaks my heart that we got through the entire prequel trilogy without getting to hear Master Windu say "May the Force be with you, muthafuckah!"

    • @gekizai
      @gekizai 3 месяца назад +24

      Master Windu: “That *is* some tasty MF space cream!”

    • @sayLeotardbutsayitChinese
      @sayLeotardbutsayitChinese 3 месяца назад +13

      It actually causes them physical pain. If Az was Australian, he'd be in the hospital right now

    • @michaelstricklett7130
      @michaelstricklett7130 3 месяца назад

      I'm sick of these MF DEI twats on this MF plane!

    • @bentonrp
      @bentonrp 3 месяца назад

      It's almost as big a crime as not letting Bill Maher say, "Gosh, all the facts show that the establishment is evil, but I have to just switch that to Trump being evil instead, which is coincidentally exactly what they always do. Wahhh! Wahhh!"

  • @ASoberBear
    @ASoberBear 3 месяца назад +692

    Maybe Palpatine had a point… because he would never let these idiots rule the galaxy.

    • @jaymea8907
      @jaymea8907 3 месяца назад +13

      bwahahahaha

    • @craigjacks588
      @craigjacks588 3 месяца назад +68

      "Evil will always triumph, because good is dumb".

    • @zsakrock
      @zsakrock 3 месяца назад +25

      ​@@craigjacks588 "Ludicrous Speed.... GOOOOOO!!!!"

    • @craigjacks588
      @craigjacks588 3 месяца назад +5

      @@ASoberBear I don't know, they seem to have 4 brain cells more than the Jedi do. XD

    • @craigjacks588
      @craigjacks588 3 месяца назад +31

      @@zsakrock Its sad when a parody from years ago is more faithful to Star Wars then "official Star Wars" today.

  • @JDUKE25
    @JDUKE25 3 месяца назад +686

    Her cutting her hair and changing clothes, thinking she could easily pose as her sister, even though she has a freaking mark on her forehead floored me. Should’ve been caught in 2 seconds. Of course, these Jedi aren’t the brightest lightsabers in the galaxy.

    • @justyx846
      @justyx846 3 месяца назад +27

      I missed that. I am ashamed.

    • @LunarSpiral1127
      @LunarSpiral1127 3 месяца назад +106

      The jedi can sense her emotions and read her mind with the force, and there's a space gopher who can sniff her out. But, the writers won't use that to expose her so quickly, I bet.

    • @craigjacks588
      @craigjacks588 3 месяца назад +54

      Yeah, and Sol is the Jedi who first noticed that scar in ep 3, so HE should be the most aware of the differences between 'Good twin' and 'Evil twin'. I don't even care what their names are, so I'm just calling them what they are.

    • @tochukwuudu7763
      @tochukwuudu7763 3 месяца назад +8

      ​@@craigjacks588Noticed ot from like 10 yards out.

    • @vespenegas261
      @vespenegas261 3 месяца назад +13

      Glass Onion logic: It's just dumb.

  • @JoshuaM8
    @JoshuaM8 3 месяца назад +112

    Disney spent so many years forcing Mary sues and gender-swapped masked villains that when an actual obvious male villain is planted into a show they actually surprise me by making it exactly what they are eluding to......well done Disney, I hope the years of trash writing and losing millions was worth that "subversion"

  • @georgeblair3894
    @georgeblair3894 3 месяца назад +36

    When Gandalf said, "You're a Wizard Spock - use the AK-47." That got me right in the feels. A true Star Wars (RIP) moment.

    • @amadeusagripino6862
      @amadeusagripino6862 3 месяца назад +4

      Gandalf, the captain of the USS Enterprise?

    • @KarbineKyle
      @KarbineKyle 2 месяца назад +2

      I thought Gandalf was the captain of the RMS _Titanic._

    • @amadeusagripino6862
      @amadeusagripino6862 2 месяца назад +1

      @@KarbineKyle that was Celine Dion

    • @georgeblair3894
      @georgeblair3894 2 месяца назад

      @@amadeusagripino6862 That is wrong on so many levels. Also funny AF.

  • @NashHonican
    @NashHonican 3 месяца назад +91

    Qui Gon Jin asked “who is the boys father?”
    Shmi Skywalker “there was no father, he was conceived like those lesbian space witches made those twins. That’s my discourse.”

    • @mvader7188
      @mvader7188 3 месяца назад +7

      Hopefully they will recut phantom menace and add that addition with Harvey Weinsteins little helper doing the voiceover.

    • @skylx0812
      @skylx0812 3 месяца назад +3

      Would be funnier if she hopped onto a table or counter then begin scissoring her legs and Qui Gon simply nods.

    • @ian8477
      @ian8477 3 месяца назад +3

      Then she did Amandla's dance. Roll credits.

    • @chazzitz-wh4ly
      @chazzitz-wh4ly 3 месяца назад +2

      Qui-Gon: “Are you a lesbian space witch? I remember learning about that from the jedi holocrons which are supposed to contain all the knowledge of the jedi for generations. But I guess whatever.”

  • @Morgul-1
    @Morgul-1 3 месяца назад +407

    When Darth Vader said "I am your Mothers"....that scene made me emotional.

    • @bvyup2112
      @bvyup2112 3 месяца назад +15

      we really do live in clown world.
      This is how much society has degraded, it really is sad.

    • @terribleplayer2526
      @terribleplayer2526 3 месяца назад +6

      Truly a starwar

    • @hawkeye5955
      @hawkeye5955 3 месяца назад +9

      There's an AI edit of Vader saying "the power of maaaaaaaannnnnnnnnyyyyyyyy" and Luke falls off the ledge.

    • @charlescaulkins8306
      @charlescaulkins8306 3 месяца назад +3

      They are our father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate. Which makes them absolutely nothing!

    • @KennethBlum-sl6rx
      @KennethBlum-sl6rx 3 месяца назад

      Leslie's favorite episode.🤡

  • @11royals96
    @11royals96 3 месяца назад +99

    I'm reminded of Blazing Saddles when the sheriff holds himself hostage. 'And they are so dumb'.

  • @ericgarcia4745
    @ericgarcia4745 3 месяца назад +70

    Remember, only females survive light saber stabs so I wouldn't be surprised if that female Padawan stabbed 3 times, survives.

    • @snoopy7261
      @snoopy7261 3 месяца назад +4

      The head Inquisitor was male in Asoka or he at least presented as male. I don't really know how that stuff works now and I don't really care. But yeah.

    • @SharreIWright
      @SharreIWright 3 месяца назад

      Well we've already been informed that the Force is Female so.....

    • @e-satan9032
      @e-satan9032 3 месяца назад

      You never watch rise of the palpatine and the Kenobi series, eh?

    • @vespenegas261
      @vespenegas261 3 месяца назад +6

      Nah. Bug things are dining well tonight. Sol just leaving bodies of his fellow Jedi where they fell is just hilarious

    • @ericgarcia4745
      @ericgarcia4745 3 месяца назад +4

      @@vespenegas261 like those monks that give their bodies over to the buzzards lol. I guess that night Osha watched many people being turned into the force and should be happy like that Padawan was saying

  • @Attilat
    @Attilat 3 месяца назад +22

    The armor the bad guy wears is made of Unobtainium...wait...wrong universe

  • @DeadlyPlatypus
    @DeadlyPlatypus 3 месяца назад +285

    Those Jedi were letting themselves get impaled on lightsabers almost as easily as the women Leslye Headland delivered to Harvey Weinstein were getting impaled by him...
    Allegedly.

    • @Vaultboy101
      @Vaultboy101 3 месяца назад +7

      They were all asking for it. Which one? We will leave the viewer to decide.

    • @killereye
      @killereye 3 месяца назад +15

      You mean...Lesbian Headlapmp, right? :3

    • @TheWorkmonkey1
      @TheWorkmonkey1 3 месяца назад +5

      I mean, just to play devils advocate here but remember when Mace Windu goes to arrest palpatine and Palpatine just sort of waves his saber at Jedi Masters and they walk into it?

    • @l8knight845
      @l8knight845 3 месяца назад +6

      @@TheWorkmonkey1 That scene has always bothered me.

    • @TheWorkmonkey1
      @TheWorkmonkey1 3 месяца назад +10

      @@l8knight845 I personally felt like it must have been due to the physical limitations of Ian McDiarmid. He isn't a stunt fighter, he was already reasonably old at the time of filming for TPM so they just did what they could within his abilities. It looks janky but it is what it is.

  • @ThisNameIsBanned
    @ThisNameIsBanned 3 месяца назад +183

    I am convinced someone of the cast brought their BDSM mask and they decided "Yes thats perfect for the show".

    • @craigjacks588
      @craigjacks588 3 месяца назад +12

      Or, maybe 'this' mask was the "inspiration" Darth Vader and Kylo Ren's masks. Wouldn't put it past these "writers" to try and shovel this crap into the canon somehow, and this could be a method of corrupting the past to infect the present and future.

    • @setha360
      @setha360 3 месяца назад

      The other brought a dildo light saber

    • @lenajohnson6179
      @lenajohnson6179 3 месяца назад +3

      Eh. I think this is a pretty weak criticism in a show you can find plenty of REAL criticism for. This is a 'I'm looking for things to dislike and choosing this one' sort of complaint... like 'bombs don't fall in space!!!!' (in a universe where we've accepted sound in space for decades)
      Star Wars is known for having helmets... it's a pretty straight up Star Wars thing for baddies to have fancy or 'frightening' helmets, and for better or worse, I think this one is actually one of the cooler ones in Star Wars history... ESPECIALLY for a Sith who WOULD be looking to appear intimidating to people. It makes him look like a grinning psychopaths, and a Sith would think 'this is cool!' cause deep DEEEEEEP down, all Sith are coomers.

    • @mvader7188
      @mvader7188 3 месяца назад

      Probably brought their butt plug as well with amyl nitrate.

    • @budgiecat9039
      @budgiecat9039 3 месяца назад

      ​@@lenajohnson6179the reason for the helmet 🪖 is because it's a rare metal that deflects lightsabers. It was non canon but they made it canon.
      Also supposedly it can block Jedi mind trick thoughts and mind reading like Magneto's helmet ⛑️

  • @Midtable1881
    @Midtable1881 3 месяца назад +223

    The budget is mental. £180m could buy roughly 124,137,931 Greggs sausage rolls.

    • @midnightoceandunes
      @midnightoceandunes 3 месяца назад +1

      That would be a death sentence for me.

    • @TheWatcherxx99
      @TheWatcherxx99 3 месяца назад +14

      Could you recalculate that for Greggs sausage rolls with the hot drink option.

    • @chris.hinsley
      @chris.hinsley 3 месяца назад +2

      👀

    • @benjaminsmith3843
      @benjaminsmith3843 3 месяца назад +17

      Dollars, not pounds, so only 98,068,965 sausage rolls, but that's so a whole lot of Greggs.

    • @FeedMeMister
      @FeedMeMister 3 месяца назад +7

      Is that individual sausage rolls or the 4 pack?

  • @AncientRylanor69
    @AncientRylanor69 3 месяца назад +17

    "It's the Least Bad Episode So Far!" is truly the nicest possible thing that can be said about this absolute travesty of a show lmao

  • @serrodderick
    @serrodderick 3 месяца назад +9

    My favorite part about all of this is that with all the money in the world, with all the time in the world, and with all the freedom in the world to make whatever they wanted, this was still the best that they could come up with.

  • @retroverdrive
    @retroverdrive 3 месяца назад +316

    Star Wars in name only.

    • @Mash-NL
      @Mash-NL 3 месяца назад +18

      Just wait till they change the name star wars. because War offend people

    • @ClericHeretic
      @ClericHeretic 3 месяца назад +31

      SWINO

    • @bvyup2112
      @bvyup2112 3 месяца назад +4

      @@Mash-NL i mean, theyve already taken the wars out, you may as well take it out of the name

    • @Rickus316
      @Rickus316 3 месяца назад +12

      @@Mash-NLand call it Star Pronouns instead 😅🙈🤣

    • @progste
      @progste 3 месяца назад +2

      ​@@ClericHeretic oh that's too good!

  • @tiawen1945
    @tiawen1945 3 месяца назад +92

    When smile-o-ren told mundi " Its smilin time" i was literally shaking. Truly a show of this year.

    • @vgoten1
      @vgoten1 3 месяца назад +3

      @@tiawen1945 I nearly spit my coffee out. Than you.

    • @the0peratoR
      @the0peratoR 3 месяца назад +3

      I literally did ​@@vgoten1 I seem to ONLY FIND FUNNY COMMENTS when I'm mid-drink scrolling through comments

    • @proto-geek248
      @proto-geek248 3 месяца назад +2

      I know. I had to pick my
      jaw up off the floor.

  • @Mad-Cat_Dan
    @Mad-Cat_Dan 3 месяца назад +46

    Now I'm rooting for Smilo-Ren to kill everyone and end this bad fanfiction.

  • @scotscottscottt
    @scotscottscottt 3 месяца назад +30

    X23 went from Saber 101 class with a wooden Kendo stick last ep, to the most skilled Jedi in the galaxy in this one. Make. It. Make. Sense.

    • @bassmasta93
      @bassmasta93 3 месяца назад +1

      Maybe that’s just how the padawans learn?
      I wasn’t totally against her being skilled.
      Some people are more naturally talented than others

    • @bassmasta93
      @bassmasta93 3 месяца назад

      @@TheBigGSN5 she still died tho

    • @amadeusagripino6862
      @amadeusagripino6862 3 месяца назад +1

      Discount Cheetara?

    • @penmaster003
      @penmaster003 3 месяца назад +1

      @@bassmasta93Be serious. She was a teenage girl who held off the guy who just killed like 7 fully trained and grown Jedi Knights. That was a ridiculously Mary Sue moment and there is no excuse for it.

    • @bassmasta93
      @bassmasta93 3 месяца назад

      @@penmaster003 yeah I see your point , BUT those other Jedi were literally background characters, they were obviously going to die first, jekkie was like a main / side character.
      Obi wan beat maul as padawan.
      I’m sure there was an element of girl power from Leslie hedland, I just don’t see it as such a big deal as other people.

  • @carlettoburacco9235
    @carlettoburacco9235 3 месяца назад +12

    A 3-year-old toddler was given a gift: a whole series of Star Wars action figures and he played with them in the garden for half an hour every day for a week. He uses a cardboard box imagining it to be the inside of a spaceship, a space base, different places. He uses a bush in the garden to make a forest scene. He makes a scene with the good guys and bad guys fighting by banging the characters against each other. His parents film him while he is playing because they are proud of what he does. After a week he gets bored and throws everything in the box and never looks at them again. Ladies and Gentlemen: I present to you The Acolyte. ( A better version I mean......cheaper too........)

  • @andrewcarlton6196
    @andrewcarlton6196 3 месяца назад +84

    I honestly thought they would be so stupid to make the Sith the mother so they could say "No, I am your mother" cause that is how brain dead they are.

    • @travisgeorge1553
      @travisgeorge1553 3 месяца назад +19

      There's still time.....

    • @AB-ln2py
      @AB-ln2py 3 месяца назад +6

      Dear got please nooooo.......

    • @thestarisalie
      @thestarisalie 3 месяца назад +8

      The rule of two the sith follow gives that time.
      There still needs to be one more sith.
      But hey they pick and choose when to accept lore.

    • @DeffNinja
      @DeffNinja 3 месяца назад +2

      Yeah i think it was kinda like sidious being plagious apprentice but was using Maul as an assassin. I still think one of the moms is the master and smiloren is the apprentice using Mae.

    • @Lone_Star86
      @Lone_Star86 3 месяца назад

      Would have been better than this shyt.

  • @ZacharyChappo
    @ZacharyChappo 3 месяца назад +250

    That time princess Leia said "i use they/them pronouns" and Han Solo responed "I know" before being carbon frozen really shook me.

    • @VaderPopsVicodin10
      @VaderPopsVicodin10 3 месяца назад +11

      *_To the stirring and amazing John Williams score still playing in the background_*
      😂

    • @ogshaggymac
      @ogshaggymac 3 месяца назад +10

      Han chose to be frozen.

    • @TheBlockbuster1982
      @TheBlockbuster1982 3 месяца назад +1

      Or a Mexican saying PVTT0!!! Which is already banned.

    • @acidbubblebath77
      @acidbubblebath77 3 месяца назад +1

      @@ZacharyChappo omfg!! 🤣🤣🤣

    • @tulkiscruffybottem2823
      @tulkiscruffybottem2823 3 месяца назад +8

      That time when Jabba said “Oonie Tiie naka, Solo” and Han said, “You can’t use that word! Only WE can use that word.” And I felt represented, as Han spoke Truth to Power.”

  • @fishjones4618
    @fishjones4618 3 месяца назад +50

    Remember, they said they were going to top the duel in The Phantom Menace. Their words!! My friends and I had better fight choreography in our backyards with broomsticks.

    • @jeremyallen5974
      @jeremyallen5974 3 месяца назад +1

      It's embarrassing that people are tripping over themselves to compliment the atrocious choreography when the only reason they really like it is because the characters are rapidly killed off

    • @KeytarArgonian
      @KeytarArgonian 3 месяца назад

      Their next article says ‘we got the best duel since Revenge of the sith!’ 😂

  • @chriscotgrove9674
    @chriscotgrove9674 3 месяца назад +7

    "Mum, can we have Star Wars?"
    "No, we've got Star Wars at home."
    Star Wars at home:

  • @karlsangree4679
    @karlsangree4679 3 месяца назад +88

    Az, I don't know what you expect. Keep in mind that Leslye Headland was only given ~ $562,500.00 per minute for this masterpiece.

    • @Mcaark
      @Mcaark 3 месяца назад

      Jiminney crap that hurts to have it broken down like that…

    • @sakrowley
      @sakrowley 3 месяца назад

      That hurts to read....

    • @madogmabz
      @madogmabz 3 месяца назад

      10% to the big guy.Her old boss.

  • @contentsdiffer5958
    @contentsdiffer5958 3 месяца назад +7

    It would be so easy to justify a prolonged battle with a padawan.
    The Sith, facing a padawan, is amused and intentionally prolongs the fight out of sadism and overconfidence. Death from a thousand cuts.
    The padawan absolutely isn't in control, but manages to survive out of doggedness.
    But you know, that would go against the whole girl power narrative.

    • @stephanecremont3666
      @stephanecremont3666 3 месяца назад +1

      THAT would have been actually awesome! But it's waaaaaaaaay too bold and intelligent for the writers and showrunner of this crapfest.

  • @SNUSNU-lz7dh
    @SNUSNU-lz7dh 3 месяца назад +44

    Qu££r is the path to the dark side, Qu££r leads to anger , anger leads to hate , Hate leads to suffering.

    • @nautdead3197
      @nautdead3197 3 месяца назад +5

      I thought it lead to the power of one
      The power of two
      The power of maaaannyy

    • @christopherbravo1813
      @christopherbravo1813 3 месяца назад +4

      That is horrifyingly accurate.

    • @acidbubblebath77
      @acidbubblebath77 3 месяца назад +3

      @@SNUSNU-lz7dh "The Qu££r side of the force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural."

  • @RattDogsVideos
    @RattDogsVideos 3 месяца назад +21

    So, Luke and Obiwan took time to dispose of the bodies of jawas they did not even know, but these jedi just leave their dead comrades to rot??!!??

    • @GH-ub7qz
      @GH-ub7qz 3 месяца назад

      jawa dogs are tasty

  • @robertharrison1058
    @robertharrison1058 3 месяца назад +8

    the padawan getting yeeted by qimir because her plot armour was on cooldown hahahahaha sensational.

  • @alecmoriarty
    @alecmoriarty 3 месяца назад +81

    Finale prediction:
    Darth Maureen is alive and ends up shacking up with Jedi Master Nepo. Those two then go to Naboo in the finale and then they adopt a little baby named Palpatine.

    • @AscendantStoic
      @AscendantStoic 3 месяца назад +10

      Dont give them ideas 😅

    • @thatpatrickguy3446
      @thatpatrickguy3446 3 месяца назад +8

      I think this is sadly likely to be true.

    • @gatorfet
      @gatorfet 3 месяца назад +7

      Search your feelings. You know this to be true

    • @lyndina8492
      @lyndina8492 3 месяца назад +3

      Hey,dont spoil this great show!

    • @emissarial6598
      @emissarial6598 3 месяца назад +6

      I want to laugh, but....

  • @RogueFox2185
    @RogueFox2185 3 месяца назад +45

    So I suppose we should head-canon that once you become a Jedi Master in Disney Canon you lose most of your skills and common sense, because there’s no way a Padawan of all people can hold her own better than one who has mastered the Jedi arts.

    • @jcorbett9620
      @jcorbett9620 3 месяца назад +10

      Remember Ray? She could fight a trained Sith having had NO training and having never seen a lightsaber before! At least we saw "Padawan of the Year 2024" actually being trained - allegedly.

    • @sublogic
      @sublogic 3 месяца назад +3

      To be fair.. Obi Wan defeated Darth Maul as a Padawan after Maul defeated his master. 🤷🏻‍♂️

    • @christopherbravo1813
      @christopherbravo1813 3 месяца назад

      I think the reason has less to do with a Jedi's rank and more to do with the Jedi's *chromosomes.*

  • @michaelmurphy1032
    @michaelmurphy1032 3 месяца назад +47

    Can't
    Understand
    Normal
    Thinking

  • @the_last_mou
    @the_last_mou 3 месяца назад +5

    "but thankfully this plot was able to plot, because they plotted"
    brilliant, lmao

  • @jasonrosenberger6989
    @jasonrosenberger6989 3 месяца назад +6

    "Meet me at plot" - master Squidgame 2024. Lmao, good one Az.

  • @martinh8784
    @martinh8784 3 месяца назад +36

    Fun fact: the Godzilla minus one budget was .... USD 15 million!

    • @Arko777777
      @Arko777777 3 месяца назад +3

      Didn't they said "Less than 10 million" recently?

    • @philmitchell8109
      @philmitchell8109 3 месяца назад +2

      You beat me too it

    • @mvader7188
      @mvader7188 3 месяца назад +8

      Regardless of the budget, that movie fu@kin rocked

    • @towersofgiza
      @towersofgiza 3 месяца назад

      @@harringtonceramics2146 oh hai Kong

  • @TheDetectiveEngineer
    @TheDetectiveEngineer 3 месяца назад +19

    My grandmother once told me, "no matter what they teach you in school, Smylo Ren was one of the mothers"

  • @amano_s
    @amano_s 3 месяца назад +31

    It's more entertaining to watch reviewers of the show destroying the show than watching the show itself. Keep the good work.

    • @amano_s
      @amano_s 3 месяца назад +1

      @ashleybanks-wm4cg , we wouldn't be trolling about how bad the show is if the people at Disney were good at doing their jobs, which is asking them too much. 😆

  • @edm3184
    @edm3184 3 месяца назад +14

    The neck broken guy is off to find eternal life and knowledge - he will finally find out who blew up the death star.

    • @proto-geek248
      @proto-geek248 3 месяца назад

      Spoiler Alert:
      It was Anakin 🤫

  • @thrrax
    @thrrax 3 месяца назад +60

    The Ejacolyte, by Lesbye Threadland.
    Bruh, they even made him sound like Darth Vader...

  • @darrellcovello7917
    @darrellcovello7917 3 месяца назад +17

    That three second Naked Gun bit was more entertaining, more suspenseful, and better acted than anything Disney Star Wars has done in years 😅

  • @TheBullDurham
    @TheBullDurham 3 месяца назад +20

    The activists assume gender all the time but never get called on it. According to them even if you are right about their preferred gender, assuming is a hate crime.

  • @AncientRylanor69
    @AncientRylanor69 3 месяца назад +9

    With the Smilo Ren being Ezra reveal, you have to remember that the writers are bad at their jobs. All the things that made him seem like a blatant red herring? The writers thought those were subtle clues. They didn’t realize they were leaving a mountain of neon-bright evidence that pointed to the one and only suspect.
    ...huh. This is actually a good time to roll out the Glass Onion ‘No! It’s just dumb’ meme.

  • @emeryweaver3796
    @emeryweaver3796 3 месяца назад +3

    Hate when my Duracell kyber bunnies stop working mid fight.

  • @happymuffin2673
    @happymuffin2673 3 месяца назад +35

    Ok so Mei cuts off her hair to pass up as Osha, but did Osha grow her hair to pass as Mei too ?? Wtf?

    • @darthvader2623
      @darthvader2623 3 месяца назад

      The "Sith" knows it's Osha. She has the tattoo on her arm and it's clearly visible in the last scene.

    • @TB-zf7we
      @TB-zf7we 3 месяца назад +1

      So dumb...😒

    • @paulwilson6357
      @paulwilson6357 3 месяца назад +1

      Oh don't say Mei too around Leslye.

    • @Chris-Brown-
      @Chris-Brown- 3 месяца назад

      Yes, that thing did turn the force threads into hair extensions

    • @highrofellos6721
      @highrofellos6721 3 месяца назад +2

      Not only cut her hair...but in cutting her hair it gained the ability to hide a "Thread-Infused" Tattoo that was gilded into her forehead 16 years earlier.....

  • @dazblue5515
    @dazblue5515 3 месяца назад +86

    Those Jedi's probably got their lightsabers in Galaxy's Edge, as they break easily too!

    • @EndThusIAm
      @EndThusIAm 3 месяца назад +17

      Reminds me how when GE opened and I learned how they're charging 200 bucks for plastic that easily breaks and you can barely customize, I went right on Etsy, and found a metal crafted, battery operated hilt for around 150. Was very happy haha.

    • @naverthis7552
      @naverthis7552 3 месяца назад +1

      tbh that the part of the story i have the least problem with, cortosis exist in new canon according to "Thrawn - Alliances" one of the thrawn books in the new canon
      however it needs to be explained how it got here, in the book its a kind of secret project of Palpatine, and Anakin destroys the factory.
      It is in the meanwhile explained and showed as a material that absorbs blaster fire and turns lightsabers off on contact.
      The main issue is, where is the dam explaination and how did it get here worked into armor? Bc the main issues before the secret project was actually working the material into something useful.

    • @mikcnmvedmsfonoteka
      @mikcnmvedmsfonoteka 3 месяца назад

      ​@@naverthis7552it also blocked mind reading hmmmm

    • @proto-geek248
      @proto-geek248 3 месяца назад +1

      I find that pool noodles
      make great lightsabres.

  • @PortugueseBadman
    @PortugueseBadman 3 месяца назад +7

    Headland was probably thinking "lets kill off these characters one by one, it will be tragic" when in reality the audience was enjoying every minute of it.

  • @RenThraysk
    @RenThraysk 3 месяца назад +39

    How many times has Osha literally fallen flat on her face now? Can see why she wasn't suitable for Jedi, likely to fall face first onto her saber.

    • @jeffsmith5436
      @jeffsmith5436 3 месяца назад

      If only we could be so lucky…

  • @giraffesauce4561
    @giraffesauce4561 3 месяца назад +20

    That steamy scene between C-3PO and the gonk droid was really something.

    • @proto-geek248
      @proto-geek248 3 месяца назад

      Brokeback Droid Factory

    • @jeffsmith5436
      @jeffsmith5436 3 месяца назад +1

      Yeah, I never knew a power plug could be used like that 😂

    • @XenoSpyro
      @XenoSpyro 3 месяца назад

      bonk the gonk

  • @MarkusHansson
    @MarkusHansson 3 месяца назад +24

    A Sith Lord who is also a clown, it all makes sense now.

  • @Mr_Jumbles
    @Mr_Jumbles 3 месяца назад +4

    So people who can literally read others' emotions/feelings/minds can't tell that someone is lying/not who they are.
    Meanwhile start of the show literally used the same power for exactly the opposite.
    GREAT JOB LESBO HEADLAND! 👏👏👏

  • @TheLegendaryBillCipher
    @TheLegendaryBillCipher 3 месяца назад +3

    Crazy how much of the Acolyte's budget went to Google apparently...

  • @NvSCatalyst
    @NvSCatalyst 3 месяца назад +65

    You sir are a hero of men for you to watch this to spare the rest of us.

    • @ryanconley3932
      @ryanconley3932 3 месяца назад

      @@Kori_INJN HAHAHAHAHAAHA you pay streaming services? Hasn't been a movie or TV show I've paid to see in years. Thank god because well over half wouldn't be worth paying to see anyway. Think I would hate myself if I actually did.

    • @mvader7188
      @mvader7188 3 месяца назад +2

      Agreed.

    • @lostvayne9146
      @lostvayne9146 3 месяца назад

      @@Kori_INJN I hope you realize that every content creator, influencer is making money off of your viewership. Its their career and as such self seeking. Gaming channels, critic channels, every creator prioritizes on banking on the next big thing. The showrunners want you to watch the show just like how all these youtuber want you to watch theirs.
      do you realize this or does this revelation you thought of only applies to those channels you do not like?

    • @Kori_INJN
      @Kori_INJN 3 месяца назад

      @@lostvayne9146 No bro I started watching because I originally thought they truly believed what they were saying. Some of them obviously said the fighting in episode 5 was good. Nothing in the original episode 4-6 even comes close. Maybe the scene with Darth Maul or Luke and Anakin can be argued to be better. However no one can say the fighting in episode 5 was trash... Compared to what? Rey's fight scenes ? I asked which scenes in any other Stars can be viewed side to side with episode 5 and it's trash. That's when you realize these guys are as agenda driven as Disney. Bros just trying to make bank. I was watching Star Wars Theory's watch alone because I don't have Disney plus. I was wondering why bro wasn't saying nothing, bro silent the entire episode. He knew it had leveled up You guys are too biased.

  • @phaeded0ut
    @phaeded0ut 3 месяца назад +15

    The mess needs to have “Yakety Sax” (the theme song for "the Benny Hill Show") on constant loop throughout each episode.

    • @1978garfield
      @1978garfield 3 месяца назад +3

      Also speed it up like Benny Hill would do.

    • @proto-geek248
      @proto-geek248 3 месяца назад

      or Foggy Mountain Breakdown

  • @zenwolf6073
    @zenwolf6073 3 месяца назад +3

    Sith did the jedi a favour by wiping out their diversity hires

  • @benjaminbatema6963
    @benjaminbatema6963 3 месяца назад +3

    How bad does screen writing have to be in order to cross the line between mere incompetence and deliberate maliciousness?

  • @StarGazer2gaming
    @StarGazer2gaming 3 месяца назад +13

    The armor that shut off the lightsabers is known as Cortosis, a rare and brittle EU/Legend material. This show doesn't explain what it is and expects you to just roll with it.
    I've seen people say that they're fine with it not being explained in the show because they already knew about it, which is dumb. Just because you knew doesn't mean the next person does. An easy solution to this would be during the Jedi's investigation in an earlier episode, a padawan stumbles across raw Cortosis and asks about it. They get a brief explanation of what it is and what it does, and adds to the mystery of why Cortosis is in play and who would have access to it? Then we get our answer in this episode of what that Cortosis was being used for.
    edit: Well, at least they mentioned it now in episode 6.

    • @Ewil.Bluetooth
      @Ewil.Bluetooth 3 месяца назад +2

      Yeah normal writing.
      Do you know how obscure this super metal is? Was it only in a one of book?
      Why didn't Vader make his armor out of that material?

    • @jeremyallen5974
      @jeremyallen5974 3 месяца назад

      That's like all the manchildren who honestly expected people to sit through a dozen hours of sun-par cartoons because the Ahsoka show couldn't be arsed to tell the viewer ANYTHING about its characters, story or world

  • @douglasarthur2673
    @douglasarthur2673 3 месяца назад +15

    The Padawan was, by far, the best fighter; miles better than all the other Jedi. Also, she smashes the beskar helmet with her elbow. 😂

    • @jhiancarlosclemente6168
      @jhiancarlosclemente6168 3 месяца назад

      That’s not beskar

    • @proto-geek248
      @proto-geek248 3 месяца назад

      I missed that part because I don't waste my time watching $#!+ & refuse to give Disney a penny.

  • @frostyfilmwatcher2148
    @frostyfilmwatcher2148 3 месяца назад +57

    I love how lightsabers aren't dangerous anymore. Headbutt them, punch them, get stabbed by them. Nah it'll be fine.

    • @darthvader2623
      @darthvader2623 3 месяца назад +4

      Dude had a Cortosis metal arm band and helmet. It short-circuits lightsabers for a minute. It's already in legends.

    • @clefsan
      @clefsan 3 месяца назад +8

      Oh no, they are still quite dangerous. But only when the plot requires them to be. 😇

    • @naverthis7552
      @naverthis7552 3 месяца назад +7

      @@darthvader2623 tbh i thought of that too, but that wrecks it even more, cortosis also exist in new canon according to "Thrawn - Alliances", however the issue was the workability of the material, during the clone wars Palpatines secret project managed to actually work it into armor and droids but that technology got lost again when anakin destroyed the factory. So now almost a century earlier we already have armor of that stuff? It doesnt make sense and needs to be explained further ....
      or we just say he did it and was the only one to know and so on.

    • @haku8135
      @haku8135 3 месяца назад

      I'm not going to believe Jeckal is dead until we see her corpse actively rotting.
      Even then it's not a total deal breaker, that'll just make me reasonably confident she won't reappear in THIS show.

    • @frostyfilmwatcher2148
      @frostyfilmwatcher2148 3 месяца назад +10

      @@ashleybanks-wm4cg don't ask questions, just consume product and get excited for next product.

  • @ekij133
    @ekij133 3 месяца назад

    This feels like a game where each writer takes a turn to write a paragraph without having read what the previous writers wrote.

  • @chazzitz-wh4ly
    @chazzitz-wh4ly 3 месяца назад +3

    You know what makes action scenes really bad? When nobody gives a toss for the characters because you spent your whole show with no character development, no consequences, plot armor, and contrivance everywhere. That really makes me invested in action scenes.

  • @LunarSpiral1127
    @LunarSpiral1127 3 месяца назад +67

    Sol: The Jedi don't attack the unarmed.
    Me: You were fighting him with hand-to-hand combat....you were both unarmed....what the hell...
    Seriously, just knock him out or cut off a limb! Jedi have killed before and this guy killed his padawan and friends, and IS A FREAKING SITH! God, the writing is so stupid!!!

  • @24framedavinci39
    @24framedavinci39 3 месяца назад +11

    It has nothing to do with budget and everything to do with letting these female actors get away with not putting in work. Choreography is actual work. So is getting in shape. DEI at it's finest.

  • @smallcd
    @smallcd 3 месяца назад +10

    4:20 Az's live auction is more exciting than a $180 million failure.

  • @stevenchamberlin01
    @stevenchamberlin01 3 месяца назад +1

    My favorite part was when they held up their phasers and shouted “it’s morbin time!”

  • @yrj77
    @yrj77 3 месяца назад +3

    The Acolyte costs nearly 14 Godzilla Minus One's. I need an explanation.

  • @chrisdanks6447
    @chrisdanks6447 3 месяца назад +5

    I've shook my head in disbelief that much i need new neck bolts.

  • @Kyanzes
    @Kyanzes 2 месяца назад

    "How did he turn up from the other direction?"
    "These are not the answers you are looking for! It's Jedi business, move along!" - Jedi Imba Cyle

  • @GuyAnthonyDeMarco
    @GuyAnthonyDeMarco 3 месяца назад +2

    "Meet me back at plot..." LOL, I'm dying.

  • @Ohshirho
    @Ohshirho 3 месяца назад +8

    7:05 It's just a really-really small planet where no matter what direction you go you quickly end up where you want to be
    15:00 also, this obviously isn't a Sith because the Sith have been extinct for a millennium. Ki-Adi-Mundi said that.

  • @carlbieler9039
    @carlbieler9039 3 месяца назад +1

    Hey Az…… …….…..I also was bidding at an on line auction. 😂

  • @Mr.E_Bodhako
    @Mr.E_Bodhako 3 месяца назад +1

    do they ever use that material that disables lightsabres again? cause that looks handy
    all the trees got in the way of the fight

  • @nathanroyster1324
    @nathanroyster1324 3 месяца назад +52

    Just to clarify one point, smile-o ren is wearing a mask and gauntlet made of cortosis. It's a metal known to be able to short out light sabers in legends. That's why he can headbutt a light saber. That is all. Continue flaming this show

    • @Re-PhantomZero
      @Re-PhantomZero 3 месяца назад +3

      Yeah i left a comment saying that, it's knowledge from the time i was a star wars fan. by the way wasn't Vader's cape made of cortosis to protect his back? I think i read that before.

    • @craigjacks588
      @craigjacks588 3 месяца назад +19

      Wow, sure would have been nice if they'd included that and other awesome things from the extended Star Wars universe. Now fans have to do homework to understand why this writing has some mild creativity in it, yet is executed in a way where unless you know it, it doesn't make any sense.

    • @andrewwebb2257
      @andrewwebb2257 3 месяца назад +9

      And where was this copium announced?

    • @justchilling7594
      @justchilling7594 3 месяца назад +10

      The real question is did they know this when they wrote this?

    • @craigjacks588
      @craigjacks588 3 месяца назад +8

      @@justchilling7594 No, the REAL question is who the hell bothered to look that detail up? They've pretty much stated and shown that they don't know crap about Star Wars lore, so where did this come from?

  • @kirinsilver
    @kirinsilver 3 месяца назад

    Something to realize. NONE of the Jedi team EVER saw Kilnoka, know he is dead in his ship / house, and never bothered to look or ask about him even though he was the focus of the mission.

  • @the6ig6adwolf
    @the6ig6adwolf 3 месяца назад

    Disney: "Jedi are the bad guys, and this proves it."
    Also, Disney: "Rey Palpatine rebuilds the Jedi Order"

  • @martinh8784
    @martinh8784 3 месяца назад +5

    What is worse? The terrible writing, the pathetic sets, the wooden acting, the clueless direction ... or ... are they combining all these individual poor cards into a straight flush to create the ultimate pile of brown, organic matter?

  • @The13thRonin
    @The13thRonin 3 месяца назад +12

    My favorite part was when Smilo-Ren said "I'm Smilo... Smilo Floyd" and he yeeted the police jedi into the trees while snorting fentanyl.

  • @dimercamparini
    @dimercamparini 3 месяца назад +4

    They have litterally created the whole "assassin bugs attracted by light" subplot, out of nowhere, so they could lead to a "fake death" for the villain later and avoid that either him or master squid game would be killed in an episode that is not the last episode...and continue the story with both characters alive...
    (without that "plot trick" this would have certainly been an encounter when 1 of the 2 would have died...)

  • @wht-rabt-obj
    @wht-rabt-obj 3 месяца назад +1

    No way twin switching would work on Jedi. Not even for a minute.

  • @christopherbravo1813
    @christopherbravo1813 3 месяца назад

    On the bright side, there's now a 69% chance that Smilo Ren won't turn out to be a tragic, misunderstood "sympathetic villain".

  • @LadyDixon100
    @LadyDixon100 3 месяца назад +77

    🤦🏻‍♀️ It's just beyond rediculous at this point!!

  • @cheeseburgersuperior1874
    @cheeseburgersuperior1874 3 месяца назад +7

    If he's the founder of the Knights of Ren I will take a vacation while laughing.

  • @nullbubble791
    @nullbubble791 3 месяца назад +7

    Stunning and Brave
    I love what Didney has done to lightsabers

  • @MzQTMcHotness
    @MzQTMcHotness 3 месяца назад +1

    You know, Az explaining the Acolyte makes me long for such quality television as Milf Manor.

  • @m626m
    @m626m 3 месяца назад +11

    I cheered when Yord was eliminated.

  • @samuelgelinas6855
    @samuelgelinas6855 3 месяца назад +77

    Smilo Ren is wearing Cortosis, Helmet and bracers or gloves I'm not sure and yes it does what it does to lightsabers, but yes it's a very obscured side of SW comics and and yes it's the first time ever shown on screen. And YES it was never explain before showing. We call that bad writting.

    • @WalesTheTrueBritons
      @WalesTheTrueBritons 3 месяца назад +19

      Indeed, Not lore breaking but terrible writing. The thing thats crazy is how the writers expect people to know? They despise everything Legends and EU. As if People who watch Disney Star Wars would know who Revan is for example.

    • @John-fk2ky
      @John-fk2ky 3 месяца назад +4

      I don’t remember it shorting out lightsabers. My main exposure to it was the KOTOR games, and if it did more than make lightsabers not the only melee weapons and armor somewhat meaningful, it would have broken the game if not the universe.

    • @WalesTheTrueBritons
      @WalesTheTrueBritons 3 месяца назад +5

      Indeed, wasn’t it used by Mandalorians to hunt down Jedi? This is why in Kotor the only thing as dangerous to Jedi as the sith were, were Mandalorians.

    • @sternencolonel7328
      @sternencolonel7328 3 месяца назад

      They continue to pluck things from the EU, without even thinking a second about it context and impact

    • @samuelgelinas6855
      @samuelgelinas6855 3 месяца назад +3

      @@John-fk2ky In the comics it actually shut down the lightsabers for a full minute. In the show they changed it because of budget reasons I suppose.

  • @stephengordon4081
    @stephengordon4081 3 месяца назад

    Remember according to the producers, you can make more with a flop then a hit. Nobody expects a payoff from a flop.

  • @georgeaitken2719
    @georgeaitken2719 3 месяца назад +1

    Jedi using lightsabers in a forest what are they lumberjacks

  • @stevek28
    @stevek28 3 месяца назад +6

    Its hilarious how House of the Dragon and Acolyte did a twins episode in the same week. The kings guard twins was soooo much better. Lol.

    • @havitins419
      @havitins419 3 месяца назад +1

      And I was devastated they both died. Like you actually care about side characters

  • @Kal_g
    @Kal_g 3 месяца назад +5

    We now return to "AZ losing his mind..."

  • @runningwithflair
    @runningwithflair 3 месяца назад +5

    "Make it make sense" should be a gameshow

    • @robynmarler1951
      @robynmarler1951 3 месяца назад +1

      It could come on before Race to the Bottom.

  • @soulgix8936
    @soulgix8936 3 месяца назад +1

    I owe you an apology.
    When i first heard of you it was the viral video of you yelling against Starfield pronouns, and i was like:
    "He's an idiot. What harm can it do to ADD something, like pronouns to a game? As long as they don't change/remove stuff"
    And in the end...i was the idiot, and i realize the shit we are into, and you were right...pronouns in starfield....a small insignificant thing....but a clear sign of the shit that was to come like this

  • @DonBetong
    @DonBetong 3 месяца назад

    I Never planned to watch the Acolyte, so I’m thankful that you tell me about it so that I know what I’m not missing.

  • @galacticgui2305
    @galacticgui2305 3 месяца назад +5

    Az asking all the RIGHT questions and pointing out all the glaringly obvious contradictions! Love it!

  • @jon131
    @jon131 3 месяца назад +6

    honestly a 10/10 episode. All the characters i hated died.

    • @HeroicJei
      @HeroicJei 3 месяца назад +1

      I know you hate Osha and Mae and they are alive

    • @jon131
      @jon131 3 месяца назад

      @@HeroicJei i'm sure one of them will die by the last episode. Mae will most likely do some self sacrifice with some Jesus imagery while revealing their mother was the sith master all along.

  • @ClericHeretic
    @ClericHeretic 3 месяца назад +8

    S.W.I.N.O. = Star Wars In Name Only

  • @KnightlyRogue
    @KnightlyRogue 3 месяца назад +2

    C. U. Next. Tuesday, and a show full of em. Az, you are amazing. Thank you for that full belly laugh! 😂👏🎉

  • @ArnoModelstate
    @ArnoModelstate 3 месяца назад

    19:45 So a light from a droidhead works but all those lightsticks flopping round didn't do bupkiss !

  • @Mjolnir007
    @Mjolnir007 3 месяца назад +12

    OOOSHA MAAAEE TAKE ME BY THE HEEEAAAAND 🎵🎶🎵

  • @oldschool8330
    @oldschool8330 3 месяца назад +6

    And to think the Jedi let smilo go in episode 2. After supplying a poison to a Jedi to help them commit suicide… makes sense.

    • @GH-ub7qz
      @GH-ub7qz 3 месяца назад +1

      thats a 25 credit fine in most cases

  • @just_blumpin_off
    @just_blumpin_off 3 месяца назад +4

    The Scissorhood Chants:
    The power of NONE
    The power of FEW
    The power of ANY
    The power of shills shall save us