• Sourcing. Are there any communities/forums/sites/methods you recommend to find those eager to serve as beta readers? They're offering a service and their valuable time for free, so this seems daunting (especially for a new/unknown writer)! • Must-have questions that should always be in your beta-reader blasts, regardless of genre/story? • Organizing the data once you have it. Do you throw the answers in a spreadsheet, or something else? Other methods of making sense of the various responses and translating those into measurable trends? Looking forward to the video! ♥
Got lots of questions, especially about recruitment - so far my only successful recruitment methods are hoping I get lucky via google and twitter. In real life, writing group members are either "too nice" to give critiques, or act snotty about it. I for one could use advice on how to deal with it if someone is snobbish about your genre, I got angrier than I probably should have.
@@milissaellan6805 Your friends and family love you. There is no way they would risk hurting your feelings with harsh critique. And harsh critique is sometimes necessary.
- [00:00] 📝 Anna compares the writing process for flash fiction and short stories, sharing her experience drafting a short story titled "Home." - [01:12] 🖋 Anna reads the first draft of "Home," focusing on Eli's emotional turmoil as he returns to a neglected house. - [04:26] 🤔 Anna discusses critiques from her partners, considering suggestions for improvement. - [05:21] 📝 Anna begins the second draft of "Home," making adjustments based on feedback and her own reflections. - [15:21] ✍ Anna reviews edits from her critique partner, Chris, and implements changes to enhance the narrative.
Hey Hannah I'm 11 I love reading And can make up scenarios in my head. I read a few of your stories My gosh You are talented. I are my motivation in writing short stories
Miss Kidder, you don't know me, so obviously take everything I'm about to say with a huge grain of salt. First let me tell you how brave I think you are to create in public this way. That takes conviction in yourself, and that's a rare thing these days. Your critique partners have served you well in the aspect of verbiage. They have failed you in the aspect of story. This isn't one...yet. I'm pretty sure comments have a length limits...so if I run out of room and you want to hear the rest feel free to contact me. Stories are more than the sketching of a moment. They require a change, either within the character, or within the world. But nothing here changes. He's uncomfortable when he arrives, he's uncomfortable within, he's uncomfortable with his memories, and he's still uncomfortable when he leaves. Their is no shift in how he perceives himself in either the world he's built for himself outside of his childhood home, or in who he is in relation to the dying woman (his mother?). The goal of retrieving the deed does nothing to test him. It's merely a macguffin, the device you used to get him into the story. There is no other character other than her memory that can push him. But she, while present, isn't trying to change his path. Since this is definitely not a change the world type of telling...you might want to decide on what dilemma (impossible choice) he must face in order to move forward. So for possibility, what his saving grace, that built his better life, might be, is that he learned to ignore everything she ever said and do the opposite, or he could have internalized that no matter what, you are always alone, or keeping focused on the task at hand is the only way to succeed. Whatever it is, THAT's the belief/dilemma you need to test in order to make this a story and not a vignette. The panic attack at the beginning and the memory of the hospital are both just symptoms of the belief/value that should be at stake, but since the reader doesn't know what that value is, the story lacks the power that it might otherwise garner based on the strong and simple details you've chosen. As always, with every bit of feedback given, take what you can use and ignore the rest. I hope there is something useful for you here. If you have any questions feel free to hit me up. Again, I can't begin to tell you how impressed I am with your willingness to create while people "look on".
Are you saying her Critic? (critique maybe) partners failed her cause they didn't meet your standards of response? Maybe it's because they are her close writing friends and they knew each other well enough not to need to say it in 5000 words, like you, and convey their feedback more concisely. But I am sure she is glad you slide into her comments to educate her on how to do her freaking job. I am sure she will reach out for more of your wit and wisdom. But more than likely she's just going to ignore you and your ok boomer response.
kindredecho offered positive & constructive criticism, Ryan. Detailed feedback isn’t a boomer thing, it’s an educated thing combined with compassion for a fellow writer. Instead of just ingesting the content, kindredecho actually gave feedback, well-supported justification, and possible suggestions without being overbearing. That’s the thing about friends & working groups they don’t always respond from the most objective standpoint, so it’s good to get a fresh perspective from a variety of sources. Pats on the back and line edits only go so far. Even if she never uses it, or disagrees and would rather have more of a vignette here (nothing wrong with that either, Book of Embraces still has a place among my top 20 or so, and I personally enjoy those snapshots equally to stories), it’s still there for her to reference for this and other works. Kindred didn’t say the work was bad in any way, either. So...? ‘ok white knight’. The world could use some literate conversation. -- Anyway, really enjoyable video! This is SO refreshing compared to all the bland, repetitive ‘writing tips’, getting to see & hear the process.
@@RP-uu7oq what's wrong with you people? So touchy. He took the time to compliment her, then share his thoughts. Very plainly telling her to take it with a grain of salt, or if there is something useful then great. It is a testament to her and her ability, that he took this time to construct such a well thought out bit of advice. I would love to hear her thoughts on this. I would bet she appreciated his comments. And if she doesnt want responses, she could turn them off. The short of it, ya'll need to chill.
This was a really interesting video! Love seeing your process of going through edits. In my last job I spent many hours thinking through and going through edits so this was helpful!
This was so cool! Though I thought the first draft was awesome - so many beautiful phrases. My question is: How do you know when you're done? How do you know if this is something that should go through the full critique-partner and beta-reading process, or whether you can go straight to your editor? Or do you go through the full process every time, regardless of what you think of the first draft? PS: I really liked the 'grey layer' - probably my favourite sentence from the first draft.
Thanks! I go through my critique partners every time, and while I might not do the FULL beta process for every story (full being at least 3 rounds with at least 10 beta readers each [i'm extra]), I'll always get a couple non-writers from different demographics to give it a look.
Seeing this made me feel better! I’m going through my beta readers’ comments and it’s comforting to see every CP and BR has a different opinion and it doesn’t mean your work isn’t good. Some people get what you mean, some don’t. Some have great feedback, but all feedback is good!! And yes, I want more info about beta readers (I’ve had the worst time finding them and I’m broke so paying for it is too much)
As a baby writing fanfic for fun, this video gave me Eli levels of anxiety. You're amazing but I'm not sure I can do three rounds of revision before Harry and Draco bang. Solution: gotta make the stories shorter so it doesn't feel like a slog!
I know this is really old so you probably won’t ever see it, sorry I only just discovered your channel, and I’m only at 14:22 so I don’t know what ending you came up with. But, as I was watching, I thought it would be great if he got a video-call drawing his attention away from the house, when he answers it it’s a little girl, maybe 6, sitting on a woman’s lap, and the girl asks him “are you coming home, daddy?” He smiles, says yes and all the weight disappears from his posture as his foot gets heavier on the pedal. Bare in mind, I have never written a short story - I write full-length novels, so maybe this would be too long for how you wanted it to end, but he could just get a notification and his screen lights up to show a picture of his daughter instead? I just thought it adds multiple angles and layers to the idea of home, and also subverts the reader’s expectation because almost immediately you think you know exactly what the title of home is referring to. Doesn’t have to be exactly this, but something that opens up more facets to the story and the more you look the more you find. You know? Or maybe you came up with something much better, since I haven’t finished watching the video. I just needed to get the thought out once it struck me, it was one of those that will not leave your head until you do and I didn’t put it here it would distract me from my own WIP, lol
So I will confess to not having discovered your site/writing until tonight (thru Jenna Moreci’s 10 things ‘seedling’ writers shouldn’t do), so you may have answered this somewhere else, but how short are your short stories, word count wise? Thank you, btw, I’m enjoying going thru your videos.
Wheat follows is one of my top 10 short stories of all time: Grace Paley “ Wants” [from her 1974 short story collection “ Enormous Changes At The Last Minute” Nominated for the National Book Award For Fiction] ~ “ Wants” I saw my ex-husband in the street. I was sitting on the steps of the new library. Hello, my life, I said. We had once been married for twenty-seven years, so I felt justified. He said, What? What life? No life of mine. I said, O.K. I don't argue when there's real disagreement. I got up and went into the library to see how much I owed them. The librarian said $32 even and you've owed it for eighteen years. I didn't deny anything. Because I don't understand how time passes. I have had those books. I have often thought of them. The library is only two blocks away. My ex-husband followed me to the Books Returned desk. He interrupted the librarian, who had more to tell. In many ways, he said, as I look back, I attribute the dissolution of our marriage to the fact that you never invited the Bertrams to dinner. That's possible, I said. But really, if you remember: first, my father was sick that Friday, then the children were born, then I had those Tuesday-night meetings, then the war began. Then we didn't seem to know them any more. But you're right. I should have had them to dinner. I gave the librarian a check for $32. Immediately she trusted me, put my past behind her, wiped the record clean, which is just what most other municipal and/or state bureaucracies will not do. I checked out the two Edith Wharton books I had just returned because I'd read them so long ago and they are more apropos now than ever. They were The House of Mirth and The Children, which is about how life in the United States in New York changed in twenty-seven years fifty years ago. A nice thing I do remember is breakfast, my ex-husband said. I was surprised. All we ever had was coffee. Then I remembered there was a hole in the back of the kitchen closet which opened into the apartment next door. There, they always ate sugar-cured smoked bacon. It gave us a very grand feeling about breakfast, but we never got stuffed and sluggish. That was when we were poor, I said. When were we ever rich? he asked. Oh, as time went on, as our responsibilities increased, we didn't go in need. You took adequate financial care, I reminded him. The children went to camp four weeks a year and in decent ponchos with sleeping bags and boots, just like everyone else. They looked very nice. Our place was warm in winter, and we had nice red pillows and things. I wanted a sailboat, he said. But you didn't want anything. Don't be bitter, I said. It's never too late. No, he said with a great deal of bitterness. I may get a sailboat. As a matter of fact I have money down on an eighteen-foot two-rigger. I'm doing well this year and can look forward to better. But as for you, it's too late. You'll always want nothing. He had had a habit throughout the twenty-seven years of making a narrow remark which, like a plumber's snake, could work its way through the ear down the throat, half-way to my heart. He would then disappear, leaving me choking with equipment. What I mean is, I sat down on the library steps and he went away. I looked through The House of Mirth, but lost interest. I felt extremely accused. Now, it's true, I'm short of requests and absolute requirements. But I do want something. I want, for instance, to be a different person. I want to be the woman who brings these two books back in two weeks. I want to be the effective citizen who changes the school system and addresses the Board of Estimate on the troubles of this dear urban center. I had promised my children to end the war before they grew up. I wanted to have been married forever to one person, my ex-husband or my present one. Either has enough character for a whole life, which as it turns out is really not such a long time. You couldn't exhaust either man's qualities or get under the rock of his reasons in one short life. Just this morning I looked out the window to watch the street for a while and saw that the little sycamores the city had dreamily planted a couple of years before the kids were born had come that day to the prime of their lives. Well! I decided to bring those two books back to the library. Which proves that when a person or an event comes along to jolt or appraise me I can take some appropriate action, although I am better known for my hospitable remarks -Grace Paley ( from her 1974 short story collection “ Enormous Changes At The Last Minute” Nominated for the National Book Award For Fiction ).
Hannah Lee Kidder - Writer Hannah Lee Kidder - Writer I really don’t mean offense I enjoyed your video... just thought about the many interactions I’ve had over the years and majority of people that I know with conditions similar to this look for a ride that’s relaxing. A 9/11 is a very balls to the wall type of car as far as personality goes. As soon as you said Porsche 9/11 my immediate reaction was woah that doesn’t fit. All opinion obviously maybe flying down the highway flipping people off is soothing to your character lol 😂 but that’s the impression I get from the car.
Hannah Lee Kidder - Writer also would love to read for you... I’m no pro by any means but if you ever want to send something my way I’d be more than happy to read.
FWIW: -- I am generally opposed to stories in the present tense. This one works, but it bothers me a little. I see the point, that the house slouches into the dirt because he has faced it and taken its power, bearded it in its den. In general an effective short story, but present tense, especially third person? IDK. Still, it's a stylistic choice.
What is the difference between a critique partner and a beta reader? Would you be looking for different qualities for each one or is it simply a matter of experience?
I know I'm not as cool as Hannah, and I'm pretty sure she's actually answered this in another video, but a Critique partner does critiquing of your story throurghout. They are usually also writers, and more engaged in the story and structure as you go. They are usually more detailed and they are focused on that. Beta readers are just readers. That's all. With Beta readers you can either just let them read and let them tell you what they thought or if they had a problem with something, or, more often than not, you can have a small questionnaire after they read so many chapters or scenes, making sure that what you envision and what they read coincide. Usually with Beta readers, it's good to have a range. Have your desired target audience, but also have some others sprinkled in; different races, ages, religions, locations, etc,. This helps to show if you have hit that target audience, and what the book provides for different types of people. Sorry this is long, but hope it helps! If I find her video on this, I'll link it as well =)
Hi, Sofía! Thanks for commenting. That edit would actually make it telling instead of showing, which weakens the sentence. It also makes it a comma splice.
Beta readers are the worst possible thing a writer can use. Despite what the internet tells you, beta readers kill nine promising careers fopr each one they "might" help. Not to be overly personal, but how many stories have you sold, and to which magazines. YTou can't tell anyone else how to write a story until and unless you are selling stories to other magazines. If you haven't doine this, get off RUclips, sit down and write, and stay off RUclips until you can write and sell stories to good magazines. You're just wasting tiome and procrastinating, all with a nice excuse that has "failure" written all over it. Worse, much worse, other beginning writers may take your advice, and become failures because of it. If you are selling to good magazines, get that information upfront.
I’m a children’s fictional pre-teen ( 7+) , teen (13-18) and young adult story writer. All my stories have the basic theme : “ be kind”; all have surprise unexpected endings with a lesson learned in love and kindness. Here’s my latest. Hope you enjoy. ~ ELOISE, EDNA & THE CHICKEN COOP “based on a true story as told by Rev Howard Thurman” ~~ There was once a Black woman named Eloise who inherited from her grandmother a parcel of land in the suburbs of Compton California at a time when there was strong racial prejudice against women of color-especially those Black women who owned property in predominately white neighborhoods. It happened there lived adjacent to Eloise’s land a white woman named Edna who did not like the fact that this Black lady owned land next to hers. Eloise would try to be friendly because she believed Jesus when He said “Love Thy Neighbor” and to Eloise that meant even if your neighbor was unfriendly. But whenever Eloise saw Edna, Edna would turn her back in disdain. In fact, ever since her husband died a decade ago, Edna became mean and unfriendly to everyone in the neighborhood. But to Eloise, she was so hateful and full of animosity that one night when all the lights in Eloise home were off, Edna went to her own backyard where she kept her chicken coop and gathered up all the manure and dumped it on Eloise land and upon her tomatoes and her greens and everything she was growing, in an attempt to destroy it. And when Eloise realized the next morning that there was all this manure, instead of becoming angry, she decided to rake and mix it in with the soil and use it as fertilizer. Every night Edna would dump the manure from her chicken coop litter box and Eloise would get up in the morning and turn it over and mix it. This went on for almost a month until one morning Eloise noticed there was no manure in her yard. Then one of the neighbors informed Eloise that Edna had fallen ill. But because Edna was so mean and unfriendly , no one came to see her when she was sick. But when Eloise heard about Edna’s condition she picked the best flowers from her garden, walked to Edna’s house , knocked on her front door and when Edna opened the door, she was in complete shock that this Black Woman who she had been so cruel to, would be the only neighbor to visit her and bring flowers. Edna was deeply moved by Eloise kindness. Then Eloise handed the flowers to Edna who said, “These are the most beautiful flowers I’ve ever seen! Where’d you get them?” Eloise said, “You helped me make them, because when you were dumping in my yard, I decided to plant some roses and use your manure as fertilizer.“ Tears flooded Edna’s eyes. This genuine act of kindness opened the floodgate of Edna’s heart that had been closed for so long. “When I’m feeling better, I would love to have you over for tea,” Edna told Eloise. “Thank you, “ Edna replied , assuring her she would come. And then added “ I will pray for your speedy recovery every night” And with those words Eloise departed. It’s amazing what can blossom from manure. There are some who allow manure to fall on them and do nothing. But then there are others-like Eloise -who “turn the other cheek” when abused or in this case “turn over the soil” to make something new like those bevy of beautiful red roses that opened a white woman’s heart. ~ copyright 2020 by Al Fogel
If you guys have any specific questions about beta readers you want me to cover in that video, leave them in a reply to this comment!
Pros and cons of using friends/family?
• Sourcing. Are there any communities/forums/sites/methods you recommend to find those eager to serve as beta readers? They're offering a service and their valuable time for free, so this seems daunting (especially for a new/unknown writer)!
• Must-have questions that should always be in your beta-reader blasts, regardless of genre/story?
• Organizing the data once you have it. Do you throw the answers in a spreadsheet, or something else? Other methods of making sense of the various responses and translating those into measurable trends?
Looking forward to the video! ♥
Basically how to find people that will want to read your story.
Got lots of questions, especially about recruitment - so far my only successful recruitment methods are hoping I get lucky via google and twitter. In real life, writing group members are either "too nice" to give critiques, or act snotty about it. I for one could use advice on how to deal with it if someone is snobbish about your genre, I got angrier than I probably should have.
@@milissaellan6805 Your friends and family love you. There is no way they would risk hurting your feelings with harsh critique. And harsh critique is sometimes necessary.
- [00:00] 📝 Anna compares the writing process for flash fiction and short stories, sharing her experience drafting a short story titled "Home."
- [01:12] 🖋 Anna reads the first draft of "Home," focusing on Eli's emotional turmoil as he returns to a neglected house.
- [04:26] 🤔 Anna discusses critiques from her partners, considering suggestions for improvement.
- [05:21] 📝 Anna begins the second draft of "Home," making adjustments based on feedback and her own reflections.
- [15:21] ✍ Anna reviews edits from her critique partner, Chris, and implements changes to enhance the narrative.
Eli be showing how expensive cars aren't the answer to anxiety problems
See a therapist, Eli
Hey Hannah
I'm 11
I love reading
And can make up scenarios in my head.
I read a few of your stories
My gosh
You are talented.
I are my motivation in writing short stories
Haven't even seen a minute of it and I already know I'm gonna love it. Thanks for sharing your writing process!
Thanks for watching! ^_^
Your style is no doubt very unique.
FANTASTIC!
Miss Kidder, you don't know me, so obviously take everything I'm about to say with a huge grain of salt. First let me tell you how brave I think you are to create in public this way. That takes conviction in yourself, and that's a rare thing these days.
Your critique partners have served you well in the aspect of verbiage. They have failed you in the aspect of story. This isn't one...yet. I'm pretty sure comments have a length limits...so if I run out of room and you want to hear the rest feel free to contact me.
Stories are more than the sketching of a moment. They require a change, either within the character, or within the world. But nothing here changes. He's uncomfortable when he arrives, he's uncomfortable within, he's uncomfortable with his memories, and he's still uncomfortable when he leaves. Their is no shift in how he perceives himself in either the world he's built for himself outside of his childhood home, or in who he is in relation to the dying woman (his mother?). The goal of retrieving the deed does nothing to test him. It's merely a macguffin, the device you used to get him into the story. There is no other character other than her memory that can push him. But she, while present, isn't trying to change his path. Since this is definitely not a change the world type of telling...you might want to decide on what dilemma (impossible choice) he must face in order to move forward.
So for possibility, what his saving grace, that built his better life, might be, is that he learned to ignore everything she ever said and do the opposite, or he could have internalized that no matter what, you are always alone, or keeping focused on the task at hand is the only way to succeed. Whatever it is, THAT's the belief/dilemma you need to test in order to make this a story and not a vignette.
The panic attack at the beginning and the memory of the hospital are both just symptoms of the belief/value that should be at stake, but since the reader doesn't know what that value is, the story lacks the power that it might otherwise garner based on the strong and simple details you've chosen.
As always, with every bit of feedback given, take what you can use and ignore the rest.
I hope there is something useful for you here. If you have any questions feel free to hit me up. Again, I can't begin to tell you how impressed I am with your willingness to create while people "look on".
Are you saying her Critic? (critique maybe) partners failed her cause they didn't meet your standards of response? Maybe it's because they are her close writing friends and they knew each other well enough not to need to say it in 5000 words, like you, and convey their feedback more concisely. But I am sure she is glad you slide into her comments to educate her on how to do her freaking job. I am sure she will reach out for more of your wit and wisdom. But more than likely she's just going to ignore you and your ok boomer response.
@@ryanmedina5090 I'm sure you are right in all you say. Although, no place was I trying to be witty, or smug. Thanks for your thoughts.
Yeah, this story read more like a flash fiction than short story to me
kindredecho offered positive & constructive criticism, Ryan. Detailed feedback isn’t a boomer thing, it’s an educated thing combined with compassion for a fellow writer. Instead of just ingesting the content, kindredecho actually gave feedback, well-supported justification, and possible suggestions without being overbearing. That’s the thing about friends & working groups they don’t always respond from the most objective standpoint, so it’s good to get a fresh perspective from a variety of sources. Pats on the back and line edits only go so far. Even if she never uses it, or disagrees and would rather have more of a vignette here (nothing wrong with that either, Book of Embraces still has a place among my top 20 or so, and I personally enjoy those snapshots equally to stories), it’s still there for her to reference for this and other works.
Kindred didn’t say the work was bad in any way, either. So...? ‘ok white knight’. The world could use some literate conversation.
--
Anyway, really enjoyable video! This is SO refreshing compared to all the bland, repetitive ‘writing tips’, getting to see & hear the process.
@@RP-uu7oq what's wrong with you people? So touchy. He took the time to compliment her, then share his thoughts. Very plainly telling her to take it with a grain of salt, or if there is something useful then great. It is a testament to her and her ability, that he took this time to construct such a well thought out bit of advice. I would love to hear her thoughts on this. I would bet she appreciated his comments. And if she doesnt want responses, she could turn them off. The short of it, ya'll need to chill.
This was a really interesting video! Love seeing your process of going through edits. In my last job I spent many hours thinking through and going through edits so this was helpful!
Hannah, thank you so much! This gonna help big time.
This was so cool! Though I thought the first draft was awesome - so many beautiful phrases. My question is: How do you know when you're done? How do you know if this is something that should go through the full critique-partner and beta-reading process, or whether you can go straight to your editor? Or do you go through the full process every time, regardless of what you think of the first draft?
PS: I really liked the 'grey layer' - probably my favourite sentence from the first draft.
Thanks!
I go through my critique partners every time, and while I might not do the FULL beta process for every story (full being at least 3 rounds with at least 10 beta readers each [i'm extra]), I'll always get a couple non-writers from different demographics to give it a look.
Seeing this made me feel better! I’m going through my beta readers’ comments and it’s comforting to see every CP and BR has a different opinion and it doesn’t mean your work isn’t good. Some people get what you mean, some don’t. Some have great feedback, but all feedback is good!!
And yes, I want more info about beta readers (I’ve had the worst time finding them and I’m broke so paying for it is too much)
As a baby writing fanfic for fun, this video gave me Eli levels of anxiety. You're amazing but I'm not sure I can do three rounds of revision before Harry and Draco bang. Solution: gotta make the stories shorter so it doesn't feel like a slog!
#HugsForEli
#HugsForEli
woah as a rough draft it was already pretty neat
A video on recruiting beta readers and using the advice would be dope
Putting it on my list!
Thanks for this! I love your process videos.
I know this is really old so you probably won’t ever see it, sorry I only just discovered your channel, and I’m only at 14:22 so I don’t know what ending you came up with. But, as I was watching, I thought it would be great if he got a video-call drawing his attention away from the house, when he answers it it’s a little girl, maybe 6, sitting on a woman’s lap, and the girl asks him “are you coming home, daddy?” He smiles, says yes and all the weight disappears from his posture as his foot gets heavier on the pedal. Bare in mind, I have never written a short story - I write full-length novels, so maybe this would be too long for how you wanted it to end, but he could just get a notification and his screen lights up to show a picture of his daughter instead? I just thought it adds multiple angles and layers to the idea of home, and also subverts the reader’s expectation because almost immediately you think you know exactly what the title of home is referring to. Doesn’t have to be exactly this, but something that opens up more facets to the story and the more you look the more you find. You know? Or maybe you came up with something much better, since I haven’t finished watching the video. I just needed to get the thought out once it struck me, it was one of those that will not leave your head until you do and I didn’t put it here it would distract me from my own WIP, lol
How do you find your critique partner
I made friends with writers
Omgggggggg I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS
why are you everywhere, Lucas XD
This was really helpful. Thanks for sharing!
okay i had a rly similar struggle in that hallways scene i sent you with repetitive uses of the word “keys” like can we invent some synonyms PLS
So I will confess to not having discovered your site/writing until tonight (thru Jenna Moreci’s 10 things ‘seedling’ writers shouldn’t do), so you may have answered this somewhere else, but how short are your short stories, word count wise? Thank you, btw, I’m enjoying going thru your videos.
Wheat follows is one of my top 10 short stories of all time:
Grace Paley
“ Wants”
[from her 1974 short story collection “ Enormous Changes At The Last Minute”
Nominated for the National Book Award For Fiction]
~
“ Wants”
I saw my ex-husband in the street. I was sitting on the steps of the new library.
Hello, my life, I said. We had once been married for twenty-seven years, so I felt justified.
He said, What? What life? No life of mine.
I said, O.K. I don't argue when there's real disagreement. I got up and went into the library to see how much I owed them.
The librarian said $32 even and you've owed it for eighteen years. I didn't deny anything. Because I don't understand how time passes. I have had those books. I have often thought of them. The library is only two blocks away.
My ex-husband followed me to the Books Returned desk. He interrupted the librarian, who had more to tell. In many ways, he said, as I look back, I attribute the dissolution of our marriage to the fact that you never invited the Bertrams to dinner.
That's possible, I said. But really, if you remember: first, my father was sick that Friday, then the children were born, then I had those Tuesday-night meetings, then the war began. Then we didn't seem to know them any more. But you're right. I should have had them to dinner.
I gave the librarian a check for $32. Immediately she trusted me, put my past behind her, wiped the record clean, which is just what most other municipal and/or state bureaucracies will not do.
I checked out the two Edith Wharton books I had just returned because I'd read them so long ago and they are more apropos now than ever. They were The House of Mirth and The Children, which is about how life in the United States in New York changed in twenty-seven years fifty years ago.
A nice thing I do remember is breakfast, my ex-husband said. I was surprised. All we ever had was coffee. Then I remembered there was a hole in the back of the kitchen closet which opened into the apartment next door. There, they always ate sugar-cured smoked bacon. It gave us a very grand feeling about breakfast, but we never got stuffed and sluggish.
That was when we were poor, I said.
When were we ever rich? he asked.
Oh, as time went on, as our responsibilities increased, we didn't go in need. You took adequate financial care, I reminded him. The children went to camp four weeks a year and in decent ponchos with sleeping bags and boots, just like everyone else. They looked very nice. Our place was warm in winter, and we had nice red pillows and things.
I wanted a sailboat, he said. But you didn't want anything.
Don't be bitter, I said. It's never too late.
No, he said with a great deal of bitterness. I may get a sailboat. As a matter of fact I have money down on an eighteen-foot two-rigger. I'm doing well this year and can look forward to better. But as for you, it's too late. You'll always want nothing.
He had had a habit throughout the twenty-seven years of making a narrow remark which, like a plumber's snake, could work its way through the ear down the throat, half-way to my heart. He would then disappear, leaving me choking with equipment. What I mean is, I sat down on the library steps and he went away.
I looked through The House of Mirth, but lost interest. I felt extremely accused. Now, it's true, I'm short of requests and absolute requirements. But I do want something.
I want, for instance, to be a different person. I want to be the woman who brings these two books back in two weeks. I want to be the effective citizen who changes the school system and addresses the Board of Estimate on the troubles of this dear urban center.
I had promised my children to end the war before they grew up.
I wanted to have been married forever to one person, my ex-husband or my present one. Either has enough character for a whole life, which as it turns out is really not such a long time. You couldn't exhaust either man's qualities or get under the rock of his reasons in one short life.
Just this morning I looked out the window to watch the street for a while and saw that the little sycamores the city had dreamily planted a couple of years before the kids were born had come that day to the prime of their lives.
Well! I decided to bring those two books back to the library. Which proves that when a person or an event comes along to jolt or appraise me I can take some appropriate action, although I am better known for my hospitable remarks
-Grace Paley
( from her 1974 short story collection “ Enormous Changes At The Last Minute”
Nominated for the National Book Award For Fiction ).
If your guy is having panic attacks he’s not driving a sports car.... look for something more towards the luxury side. Mercedes or something....
I'm obsessed with this comment. what does this mean. what are you saying to me
Hannah Lee Kidder - Writer Hannah Lee Kidder - Writer I really don’t mean offense I enjoyed your video... just thought about the many interactions I’ve had over the years and majority of people that I know with conditions similar to this look for a ride that’s relaxing. A 9/11 is a very balls to the wall type of car as far as personality goes. As soon as you said Porsche 9/11 my immediate reaction was woah that doesn’t fit. All opinion obviously maybe flying down the highway flipping people off is soothing to your character lol 😂 but that’s the impression I get from the car.
@@ronnation630 lmao you're good it just made me laugh
Hannah Lee Kidder - Writer also would love to read for you... I’m no pro by any means but if you ever want to send something my way I’d be more than happy to read.
@@ronnation630 sure, here's my collection! amzn.to/2SjS2og
FWIW: -- I am generally opposed to stories in the present tense. This one works, but it bothers me a little. I see the point, that the house slouches into the dirt because he has faced it and taken its power, bearded it in its den. In general an effective short story, but present tense, especially third person? IDK. Still, it's a stylistic choice.
Don't worry! I'm sure you'll read more varied things when you get older, and it'll all come a little easier.
Just sayin, I LOVE your kitchen!
Oh my god das me
my favorite boy!!
What is the difference between a critique partner and a beta reader? Would you be looking for different qualities for each one or is it simply a matter of experience?
I know I'm not as cool as Hannah, and I'm pretty sure she's actually answered this in another video, but a Critique partner does critiquing of your story throurghout. They are usually also writers, and more engaged in the story and structure as you go. They are usually more detailed and they are focused on that. Beta readers are just readers. That's all. With Beta readers you can either just let them read and let them tell you what they thought or if they had a problem with something, or, more often than not, you can have a small questionnaire after they read so many chapters or scenes, making sure that what you envision and what they read coincide. Usually with Beta readers, it's good to have a range. Have your desired target audience, but also have some others sprinkled in; different races, ages, religions, locations, etc,. This helps to show if you have hit that target audience, and what the book provides for different types of people. Sorry this is long, but hope it helps! If I find her video on this, I'll link it as well =)
YAAAASSSSSS
🙌
OMG I love this and I love U for showing us how to get it done! LOL Can you see me happy dance right now?? Wow. Thank U Hannah.
Star Sackaney
14:07 "But he can't help it, and looks back." maybe could sound better.
Hi, Sofía! Thanks for commenting. That edit would actually make it telling instead of showing, which weakens the sentence. It also makes it a comma splice.
This made me both want to beta read for you and BE beta read by Gloria and Micah! lol
they're the best critique group a girl could ever ask for :')
I really like how you look with that t shirt.
Haha your first draft is better than like my third haha
Beta readers are the worst possible thing a writer can use. Despite what the internet tells you, beta readers kill nine promising careers fopr each one they "might" help. Not to be overly personal, but how many stories have you sold, and to which magazines. YTou can't tell anyone else how to write a story until and unless you are selling stories to other magazines.
If you haven't doine this, get off RUclips, sit down and write, and stay off RUclips until you can write and sell stories to good magazines. You're just wasting tiome and procrastinating, all with a nice excuse that has "failure" written all over it.
Worse, much worse, other beginning writers may take your advice, and become failures because of it.
If you are selling to good magazines, get that information upfront.
king i'm a professional author are you good?
I’m a children’s fictional pre-teen ( 7+) , teen (13-18) and young adult story writer. All my stories have the basic theme : “ be kind”; all have surprise unexpected endings with a lesson learned in love and kindness.
Here’s my latest. Hope you enjoy.
~
ELOISE, EDNA & THE CHICKEN COOP
“based on a true story as told by Rev Howard Thurman”
~~
There was once a Black woman named Eloise who inherited from her grandmother a parcel of land in the suburbs of Compton California at a time when there was strong racial prejudice against women of color-especially those Black women who owned property in predominately white neighborhoods.
It happened there lived adjacent to Eloise’s land a white woman named Edna who did not like the fact that this Black lady owned land next to hers.
Eloise would try to be friendly because she believed Jesus when He said “Love Thy Neighbor” and to Eloise that meant even if your neighbor was unfriendly.
But whenever Eloise saw Edna, Edna would turn her back in disdain. In fact, ever since her husband died a decade ago, Edna became mean and unfriendly to everyone in the neighborhood.
But to Eloise, she was so hateful and full of animosity that one night when all the lights in Eloise home were off, Edna went to her own backyard where she kept her chicken coop and gathered up all the manure and dumped it on Eloise land and upon her tomatoes and her greens and everything she was growing, in an attempt to destroy it.
And when Eloise realized the next morning that there was all this manure, instead of becoming angry, she decided to rake and mix it in with the soil and use it as fertilizer.
Every night Edna would dump the manure from her chicken coop litter box and Eloise would get up in the morning and turn it over and mix it.
This went on for almost a month until one morning Eloise noticed there was no manure in her yard.
Then one of the neighbors informed Eloise that Edna had fallen ill. But because Edna was so mean and unfriendly , no one came to see her when she was sick.
But when Eloise heard about Edna’s condition she picked the best flowers from her garden, walked to Edna’s house , knocked on her front door and when Edna opened the door, she was in complete shock that this Black Woman who she had been so cruel to, would be the only neighbor to visit
her and bring flowers.
Edna was deeply moved by Eloise kindness.
Then Eloise handed the flowers to Edna who said,
“These are the most beautiful flowers I’ve ever seen! Where’d you get them?”
Eloise said, “You helped me make them, because when you were dumping in my yard, I decided to plant some roses and use your manure as fertilizer.“
Tears flooded Edna’s eyes. This genuine act of kindness opened the floodgate of Edna’s heart that had been closed for so long.
“When I’m feeling better, I would love to have you over for tea,” Edna told Eloise.
“Thank you, “ Edna replied , assuring her she would come. And then added “ I will pray for your speedy recovery every night”
And with those words Eloise departed.
It’s amazing what can blossom from manure.
There are some who allow manure to fall on them and do nothing.
But then there are others-like Eloise -who “turn the other cheek” when abused or in this case “turn over the soil” to make something new like those bevy of beautiful red roses that opened a white woman’s heart.
~
copyright 2020 by Al Fogel