'Children need biological fathers' | Erica Komisar
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- Опубликовано: 18 дек 2022
- Erica Komisar explains why children need both a mother and a father in order to grow up and develop in the way they were designed.
You can find their full conversation here: • Dr. Erica Komisar | Mo...
#Fatherhood #Motherhood #Children #Psychology
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Even back in the 1950s Dad's played with their infants and small kids. Lots of photos of my 2 older sisters as toddlers "helping Dad garden". Dad never changed a diaper but he played and provided carrying and safety while out as a family. His eyes knew where we were at all times in the big backyard, mom had no clue. He also conspicuously locked all doors, checked windows, and closed drapes at dark, making the house safe. Good Dad energy.
You can go back further back, for instance, there are instances of fathers playing with their children in Jane Austen's books, Emma, and Persuasion, published at the beginning of the 19th century. She described carefully the mores of her time.
As long as the child has love, protection and is acquiring the basic skills to contribute positively in society then parents should be proud.
@@PennySmart of course you can!
Fathers give children their confidence, i was robbed of my childhood and Identity growing up and it caused me to be starved for love and validation. I wish i wud have had someone to teach me anything . I feel like I wasn’t taught anything. I was in a religious system that demanded absolute obedience with no explanation, and no validation.
Fatherless boys commit most of the violent crime and fatherless girls look for love in all of the wrong places. In the US this is strikingly high among blacks (70%+) and now upwards of 40% of whites.
The world meant it for evil , but GOD meant it for GOOD .
You WILL live and fulfill God's perfect purpose for your valuable life , even if you can't see it , it is happening .
I was fortunate to have 4 children. Two boys and two girls. I chose not to listen to advise from my feminist sister and rather than see my masculin tendencies as "toxic" I let my instincts help with dealing with my children and my wife. I was never sure that my influence was not causing harm. I was certainly told by my sister my how many of my instincts were wrong acording to the dictates of the feminist narrative.
The biggest disagreement was over play. I'd set up competitive games for the boys and encourage what I saw as healthy competition. As time goes on I'm glad I didn't fold.
I can see that the things I was teaching them could have been corrupted if I had entirely concentrated on the competitiveness. I didn't need my wife to intervene and include compassion and fairness into the games but those attributes were clearly important to her and her instincts.
I'm very much with the idea that men and women are complimentary forces for good if ballanced correctly, but if I'd listened to the cultural narratives there would definitely be large holes in my children's characters.
In my experience, in my culture mothers got different function than fathers - mothers were better in consolation after some bad thing happened to kid and fathers function was to help kid to be adventurous, to be brave, to try new things. Well, smt a bad thing happened to kid becouse fathers kept trying to persuade kid to try new things, to be brave, to gain experience. Thats where mothers role was - to console after bad things happened :)
I think it is interesting how much more you can learn about parenting, yet at the same time how much instinct you already have in you to do the right thing. When you simply love your kids and do all you can for them it tends to work out okay. We all come from a million years of evolution, of an unbroken succession of successful parents. Not all perfect to be sure, but enough input to get their children to adulthood and repeat the cycle.
I love this - she is spot on. The data on this has been around for a long time but is kind of supressed in order to protect the vanity and feelings of women. It's a silly low level way of operating and helps no one.
The data on the crucial role that biological fathers play in the likelihood of healthy life outcomes for children is some of the most stark of any in the sciences. It is overwhelming, consistent and goes back decades.
We must restore the biological father to the home, make it safe for him again and stop the casual banishment of him in his children's lives. The state is the issue. It incentivises the removal of the father. This must stop.
4:56 Why on earth would you want to teach fathers to be more like mothers, and mothers to be more like fathers?
I had a very close relationship with my father. There are photos of him holding me up in the air, both of us grinning from ear to ear and laughing. I am a few months old in these, certainly less than a year old. I remember him showing me how to hold a golf club when I five. One possible reason I never married was I wasn't able to find as good, intelligent, compassionate, and fun guy as my dad.
My father hardly had an emotion but was a great father:
Me thinketh isn't that so interesting, I played a balanced role where my daughters saw the good and bad side of me thereby hoping that I wouldn't be an too hard of......an act to follow!!@?😉🙂
@@ronfesta771 I think functioning adults can objectively look back and know if their parents loved them and did things to better our survival. I respect my dad the more I get older , having my own kids now, knowing he prepared his 4 boys to succeed and that was way more important than having a "perfect" father-son relationship, to me.
In Austria the father has no say. It doesn't matter if the baby was planned or not. The more interest the father shows, the more the system gets in the way. The only connection the father has is what he pays the mother, every month. The mother doesn't have to declare what the money is spent on. But the court will ask the father too declare everything. If you pay for something, it's nice to get to use it or spend time with .
If you ask most fathers they'll tell you they had nothing to do with raising young children. "I just played with them once in a while." THAT'S IT! You did it! That's what you're SUPPOSED to do! How beautiful is it that what we want to do with children is what is not only appropriate but absolutely necessary. And yes... moms. It's no fair. Mom's interactions with the children day to day are mostly mundane. Dad is like the local amusement park. But dad should also be the disciplinarian. Nurturing and empathy are counter to discipline. It can seem like betrayal. Dad can discipline and still be loved for the fun. If your husband isn't doing his job... if "wait till your father gets home" isn't a thing... you better let him know how important that is and that's something unfair that he can and should remedy.
What is an appropriate action to take if the dad is not involved and isn't consistent? Also that he doesn't care to listen to your plead for change because he thinks your controlling instead of helping your child communicate their needs?
@@karinamartin7544 There has always been and always will be bad people that care about no one but themselves. Even to the cost of their children. Both male and female. You don't change someone like that. They have to want to change themselves. That's life unfortunately. You might bring up what I did. "Have you thought about how fun it can be? Think about the beloved memories they'll have. Give it a try."
Terrifyingly true - we need both mothers and fathers and without them both the outcome is a life time of searching for something without knowing what... and the search is quietly frenetic .
Thank you for this EXCELLENT analysis of male/female roles in parenting.
At last someone to explain those impulses I have to engage with my kids which are totally different from how my wife engages with them.
They sure do, I had a step dad, my mum made it very difficult to see my real Dad. She cheated on him so of course everything was his fault! Give Dads a chance Mums can be so good at not telling the truth. Everybody seems to believe the woman more often than not I have noticed.
Thank God for John Anderson.
John Anderson is a voice we need
Excellent interview!!
I remember back in the 80's when the media was saying that Father's were not important. Go figure.
if we are going to argue that "children need biological fathers" then we need to combat the hatred perpetuated by activists( feminists) against fathers and taken up by mothers who seek to remove fathers from their children's lives.
Everything you say here is going to be useless when you have a high divorce rate followed by high rates of alienation of the non custody parent( majority of which are fathers) all enabled by the family courts ( and in turn by politicians who are too spineless to stand up to the lobbyists using the "children of divorce" situation for their own financial gain).
i was the at home parent for my disabled child on the advice of Doctors as I also shared the disability, and the mother wanted her legal career. But I was turned on by her and other "activists" as they considered our child as the property of the mother and enabled her to commit Domestic violence upon father and child resulting in a deliberate destruction of the bond between my child and I.
Get rid of these parasites who use the suffering of children for their own political ends and make it criminal to do so, and then children will have must better outcomes in life and parents can get on with the job of co-parenting..
Dr James Masterson talks about this in his book Search for the eal self the way that a healthy father offsets the nurturing energy of the mother and pulls the child out of the sphere of mom so that they can learn to manage in the real world
Children need loving, caring, responsible men in their lives, who are there for them! If they happen to be their biological fathers, that's great too.
Excellent 👍
Just subscribed to your channel Sir great stuff
What should mothers do when fathers leave and dont want to raise their children? What options do they have?
Omg SMHD thank goodness finally saying what is absolutely essential, true and beyond... L'dor va'dor from generation to generation
"LDor Vador Lyrics" on RUclips
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in many cultures across time and across the world fathers have had very little interaction with their young children, indeed
console versus cajole ?
Long story short, men are men and women are women. And , we all know it .
Blessings from Sydney.
I don’t hear in this chat why the father in the child’s life must be the biological father though; title seems so misleading
Seems this channel is being shadowed perhaps?
She had me up to genderless society, as if that's even remotely possible. Can't have your cake and eat it too. Either we have gender roles that are essential to the children and a necessary part of our biology, or we do not.
This lady has been kicked off Twitter, I assume. get in touch with Elon.
One needs to be suspicious of a person who in the 21st century still calls themself a psychoanalyst, I say as a PhD psychologist
One day I'm going to be somebody's daddy
Good points except due to the biology one can only do so much even with training.
I don’t know a woman I would want to have a baby with-
I have not heard from my ex husband in years. My sons are not small children (despite whoever lied on me). 12-20-2022.
Wow! What a scientific discovery - something that has been around for millions of years has an important function! Go figure! I think we should rethink the recruitment process for scientists. 😳
Stereotyping fathers is just plain wrong. Fathers are all different and cope with parenting in different ways. I get annoyed by these so called professionals putting fathers into boxes, it's just plain wrong.
Yeah! Maybe the problem is not the stereotyping. Maybe you're projecting some kind of shame or inadequacy you're feeling into the conversation.
@@grantfrith9589 : Nope. I was a great father.
@@buildmotosykletist1987 Well then stand back and notice the trends.
There's plenty of motivation by the kinds of folk that undermine the acknowledgment of our biological and behavioral differences to totally eliminate categories.
You've obviously got a point but we're in a world now where a large proportion of the population can't answer a simple question like "what is a woman".
I think Iain McGillchrist has done the most to unravel what you're reacting to in his book "The Master and his Emissary".
Can we at least agree that categories are important and nuance and open dialogue can address the consequences outside of the known parameters?
@@grantfrith9589 : Nope. Putting people into neat little boxes is obviously wrong, misleading and destructive.
You blaspheme Erica.
Another "expert" waffling on, anyone with half an ounce of common sense knows that a child needs a mum and dad and they they complement each other in what they bring to the child's upbringing
This is not waffle. We are living at a time when gender neutrality is being promoted in a way that is challenging what was previously thought of as obvious and in this case parenting. The obvious now has to be scientifically proven before it will be accepted... Respect is also lacking.
Another negative comment from someone who doesn’t appreciate a more detailed discussion.
At least you are able to express yourself and show us all what’s inside.
@@AlanCarson726 no details worth the clickbait title, actions speak louder than words, too many experts not enough doing
@@sarahlaslett3279 none of that nonsense is tolerated in my family good luck with yours
Yeah, but what exactly is it what mother and father bring to the child's upbringing?
It is very interesting for me to learn more about this because I come from a dysfunctional family. My father didn't have a dad (cuz he was in WWII and grandma divorced him) and his mother was not affectionate at all. So my father did not learn anything from anyone and never managed to be an affectionate husband, a good listener, a provider of emotional stability. Just to mention the issues on the surface...
I wish his generation would have been more interested in psychological "mechanisms" and more knowledgeable about what makes a human "tick".
One of the most simplistic clic bait statements on RUclips.