Wholly relatable. It seems to be common for us to dislike feeling observed (understandably so, given that unwanted attention is typically negative and exhausting.) I've worn the same "uniform" of band t-shirt and black denim for 30+ years now, partly in zealous defiance of social expectations but also because whatever judgement an observer may be tempted to make based on my appearance is likely wrong, which often confuses them and spares me feeling pressure to "prove" anything via appearances (and, incidentally, some people find it intimidating, which all but guarantees I'm left alone in public.😊) Ultimately it's just about being persistently, physically comfortable as oneself, because the world really doesn't care beyond its superficial judgements and I don't want to waste my already limited energy on it. We've only got the one skin, might as well be comfortable living in it!
I know exactly what you mean. Judgements based on how I look are always wrong because I am dressing for the role I am playing that day. It's going to be a long process for me. Thank you for sharing.
You have brought up some very valid points here. I'm a guy and I don't want to say anything inappropriate and I don't want to say anything that might offend someone or hurt their feelings. I also want to say that I know that I am just sharing my opinion and everyone has the right to hold their own opinion on the subject. That being said, I will honestly say that ever since I was a young man I have thought that most women look better without make up or at least very little make up. You certainly don't need make up to look great Gina, and I think that many other people would agree with me on that. When I met my wife over half a century ago I wanted her to know that I didn't care for make up. I like to think that sharing my opinion with her at that time has saved her countless hours in front of a mirror. She did use a little make up for about a decade when her job entailed interacting with numerous people and sitting in director meetings on a daily basis and I was okay with that. She still looks beautiful at 70 without any make up. Another thought that is important from my perspective is the age old adage that a persons character has a tremendous influence as to their overall attractiveness or at least that truth still holds true for me. This video should get your viewers thinking about this interesting and relevant subject within the context of unmasking autism and I applaud for making it.
I agree, it does feel like it sways more as an issue for women, and I'm glad you felt that way about your wife. My husband thinks I look good with or without make up and that helps me to feel more comfortable in my own home and in myself, but once I step past that front door, the mask in all its forms comes up again. Love your relationship with your wife!
IMO make up and styled hair always is a mask, neurodivergent or not. "Something that needs to be fixed/improved" always boils down to "I do not like something about myself", either the concrete detail that is fixed, or the whole self that needs to hide behind a different version of your body. I am an autistic male. I honestly can't put ANYTHING on my skin or hair. It literally hurts. (Perhaps because of changed skin tension? Don't know.). I was forced to use protective lipstick because my lips always cracked open. The taste was disgusting and I stopped eating and drinking during the day, had to wash my lips and mouth before... I can see that for women makeup+dress is more important due to social pressure from your friends. And it stays with you. I honestly don't see that much difference with or without makeup, but that may be just the camera/lighting. You look great and you should at least try going out without makeup. Perhaps prepare a story (my dog was eating my makeup...) in case someone makes a nasty comment ;)
I agree, it is a common mask, and contributes to the overall picture for me. It's interesting what you say about you putting anything on your hair and skin, I have a family member who feels very much the same about putting anything on her skin. Thank you for your vote of confidence, it has helped me.
if we put all the money spent on beautification towards improving the state of affairs on the planet, we might buy ourselves a few years. i wish you well as you "let it slip". you will end up liking who your are without fear of judgment
Thank you for this vulnerable installment. I empathize with the struggle to invite people over.
Speaking the truth ❤ masking is exhausting. No more!!
Wholly relatable. It seems to be common for us to dislike feeling observed (understandably so, given that unwanted attention is typically negative and exhausting.) I've worn the same "uniform" of band t-shirt and black denim for 30+ years now, partly in zealous defiance of social expectations but also because whatever judgement an observer may be tempted to make based on my appearance is likely wrong, which often confuses them and spares me feeling pressure to "prove" anything via appearances (and, incidentally, some people find it intimidating, which all but guarantees I'm left alone in public.😊) Ultimately it's just about being persistently, physically comfortable as oneself, because the world really doesn't care beyond its superficial judgements and I don't want to waste my already limited energy on it. We've only got the one skin, might as well be comfortable living in it!
I know exactly what you mean. Judgements based on how I look are always wrong because I am dressing for the role I am playing that day. It's going to be a long process for me. Thank you for sharing.
You have brought up some very valid points here. I'm a guy and I don't want to say anything inappropriate and I don't want to say anything that might offend someone or hurt their feelings. I also want to say that I know that I am just sharing my opinion and everyone has the right to hold their own opinion on the subject. That being said, I will honestly say that ever since I was a young man I have thought that most women look better without make up or at least very little make up. You certainly don't need make up to look great Gina, and I think that many other people would agree with me on that. When I met my wife over half a century ago I wanted her to know that I didn't care for make up. I like to think that sharing my opinion with her at that time has saved her countless hours in front of a mirror. She did use a little make up for about a decade when her job entailed interacting with numerous people and sitting in director meetings on a daily basis and I was okay with that. She still looks beautiful at 70 without any make up. Another thought that is important from my perspective is the age old adage that a persons character has a tremendous influence as to their overall attractiveness or at least that truth still holds true for me.
This video should get your viewers thinking about this interesting and relevant subject within the context of unmasking autism and I applaud for making it.
I agree, it does feel like it sways more as an issue for women, and I'm glad you felt that way about your wife. My husband thinks I look good with or without make up and that helps me to feel more comfortable in my own home and in myself, but once I step past that front door, the mask in all its forms comes up again. Love your relationship with your wife!
IMO make up and styled hair always is a mask, neurodivergent or not. "Something that needs to be fixed/improved" always boils down to "I do not like something about myself", either the concrete detail that is fixed, or the whole self that needs to hide behind a different version of your body. I am an autistic male. I honestly can't put ANYTHING on my skin or hair. It literally hurts. (Perhaps because of changed skin tension? Don't know.). I was forced to use protective lipstick because my lips always cracked open. The taste was disgusting and I stopped eating and drinking during the day, had to wash my lips and mouth before...
I can see that for women makeup+dress is more important due to social pressure from your friends. And it stays with you.
I honestly don't see that much difference with or without makeup, but that may be just the camera/lighting. You look great and you should at least try going out without makeup. Perhaps prepare a story (my dog was eating my makeup...) in case someone makes a nasty comment ;)
I agree, it is a common mask, and contributes to the overall picture for me. It's interesting what you say about you putting anything on your hair and skin, I have a family member who feels very much the same about putting anything on her skin. Thank you for your vote of confidence, it has helped me.
if we put all the money spent on beautification towards improving the state of affairs on the planet, we might buy ourselves a few years. i wish you well as you "let it slip". you will end up liking who your are without fear of judgment
thank you!!