Raising Julia
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- Опубликовано: 15 сен 2024
- Before 2003 Tina Traster and Rick Tannenbaum were a typical Upper West Side couple. She was an established journalist, he was an attorney, they had it all. Well, almost...
On February,14, 2003 Tina and Rick brought home their new baby girl Julia, adopted from an orphanage in Novosibirsk. And this is when their journey into parenthood started.
In this mini-doc, Tina Traster tells her story of raising Julia and battling RAD (reactive attachment disorder).
This adoptive mother is wonderful ,she is encouraging and nurturing the best out of her child ,how could anyone say leave the child alone when Julia says with enthusiasm she wants to help special needs child in the future ,Julia is going to be a great member of society contributing talents and eventually a great rapport with special needs kids,partly thanks to her mother extracting all the goodness out instead of letting the unresolved mental issues just get worse .
Bull shit
Nikolina Cacija Which part?
It takes special patient people to raise children who suffer with RAD, God Bless Them.
I have reactive attachment disorder. Its hard to get my parents to understand me as well. But also because I have language issues with dealing with English. It hasn't always been good.
I suffer from rad and other disabilities and it's a struggle for sure to bond with ppl
Amen!
Thank you for sharing your touching and triumphant story with the world. Criticism is easily and usually based on ignorance. As a mother and grandmother, I find your life story courageous and inspiring.
Shauna Little hiii
This family will thrive despite their child's diagnosis. Good for them and best wishes!
The way she talks about her first meeting.... she fell in love.
Beautiful. I"m so glad, Tina, that you (and I assume your wonderful husband) have discovered what adoption is truly about - the adopters are the gift to the child, NOT the other way around. The relationship is definitely a gift all round. Research is showing that all babies taken for adoption struggle with the trauma of that loss, with some children reacting worse than others.I don't know Julia's background but I do know that mothers rarely truly want to lose their child, so I hope that one day Julia's first parent/s/family find out what you've done, how you've loved Julia, and hopefully they too can invest love into Julia's life. I think you're rare gems among adopters. God bless you in your journey of parenting.
I know your response was two years ago, but you must know that neither are a gift. Having a parent that doesn't take real time to understand you is a curse. You do not know who this woman is and if you research her, you will find more articles she wrote glorifying "saving" her daughter with no knowledge of adopting. She says it herself that she fell for the looks of her child. Its not about that, in fact she had no intent on adopting or having a child when she got hers. Her now son, came out before this was release and found it awful and didn't want it. She refused to believe her son's gender identity and refusal of wanting this book made about him. She is truly a monster because she says she loves "her" but ignores them still. They are now estranged and he deserves a better family. Feeding a child is not all it takes to be a good parent.
@@JamesSutcliffe That's sad to hear. People just want to love & be loved yet it gets all complicated by self-centredness etc. Thanks for letting me know there's more to this story.
@@JamesSutcliffe The mother is just describing how beautiful she thinks her daughter was as a baby. What is wrong with that? Many mothers think their babies look beautiful. Doesn't mean anything. Sad she now thinks she is a man. Sadly this will not solve her past issues. This is just another layer of confusion she is experiencing.
God bless this woman!!! i respect her so much! i really feel bad she had to go through all this
I remember Erickson and I believe it is the first 3 months of life that “trust vs mistrust” is solidified. Scary
Very early and very fast. That is why all parents should have mandatory home visits made by a nurse during the first 6 months of their lives and addicted mothers should definitely not be allowed to take their babies home, but sent to a facility were they can stop taking them and learn to proper care for their children if they really want to, what most do not, because the drugs arr more important then anything.
Bless you Julia, you are a good girl. Never forget that.
this sounds like a normal response to an insane world. what these kids need are people to listen to them. Yeah, they need boundaries but more importantly their experiences of abandonment and abuse need to be respected.
Aaron Munn no. You have no idea what you’re talking about. RAD is not something that can be fixed by respecting their feelings of abandonment.
@@savannahdavidson3116 It cannot fully be fixed at all, only maybe managed in some way that the child is not destructive or harmful towards others and themselves.
This mother reflects so much sadness is a bitter sweet situation
I have the same disorder it's so hard with it we get bullied so much
I am so, so, so, so sorry for all you're going through. Please know that it is not your fault and you are loved!!!!!!!!!!! Never give up hope....you can and will get better!!! You deserve all the best. Try, as best as you can, to love yourself every single day and constantly tell yourself how amazing you truly are. It's the truth! Xoxoxooxoxoxoxooxoxo
Bullshit.
@@raccoonchronicles5134 you are a nasty piece of work get a life stop bullying me over my disability I don’t know even who you are so knock it off 😡😡😡😡
Julia is beautiful as a baby and now :)
She is beautiful :)
Is that so important? Its just the surface, why isn't one allowed to just be. Without perfectionism
Daisy The OP was just complimenting the girl. Sheesh.
All of her cats love her!! none of them were aggressive towards her! lucky girl
Glad you stuck it out - for Julia's sake....
This family's story is so beautiful and heartwarming, they seem to be fantastic parents and Julia seems like an amazing little girl. That being said though, it doesn't seem like she has full-onset RAD (though I'm sure she has an attachment disorder of some kind, since most adoptees do). The spectrum of attachment disorders is wide and intense, but RAD is almost a completely different thing. Children with the truest form of RAD are completely unable to form connections or attachments with others at all - there is literally a difference that grows in brain formation, and the sections of the brain where empathy are located basically cease to function. They often lie constantly, have remarkable charisma and manipulation skills, act out in a way that is impossible to stop, and can even become violent - these are the children that later tend to be diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder as adults, and who are often called "sociopaths" or "psychopaths". Kids with RAD wouldn't be able to authentically say that they wanted to be special ed teachers because they "felt connected" to disabled children, unless they were lying in order to manipulate. As saddening as it is, their suffering, neglect, and/or abuse and it's effects on their brain are simply not able to be "fixed". Don't believe me? Look up the parenting forums of adoptive parents of kids with RAD. I feel absolutely terrible for the children suffering from this disorder, as well as for their families, it has absolutely disastrous consequences without lifelong treatment and a fully prepared household.
sorry for going on a rant, I got carried away haha
. RAD is a severe and relatively uncommon disorder that can affect children. RAD is characterized by markedly disturbed and developmentally inappropriate ways of relating socially in most contexts. It can take the form of a persistent failure to initiate or respond to most social interactions in a developmentally appropriate way - known as the "inhibited form". Due to recent revision in the DSM-5 the "disinhibited form" is now considered a separate diagnosis named "disinhibited attachment disorder". RAD arises from a failure to form normal attachments to primary caregivers in early childhood. Such a failure could result from severe early experiences of neglect, abuse, abrupt separation from caregivers between the ages of six months and three years, frequent changes of caregivers, or a lack of caregiver responsiveness to a child's communicative efforts.
Children with RAD are presumed to have grossly disturbed internal working models of relationships that may lead to interpersonal and behavioral difficulties in later life.
Mainstream treatment and prevention programs that target RAD and other problematic early attachment behaviors are based on attachment theory and concentrate on increasing the responsiveness and sensitivity of the caregiver, or if that is not possible, placing the child with a different caregiver
Attachment therapy has a scientifically based theoretical basis and uses diagnostic criteria or lists of symptoms that differ markedly from the criteria you wrote about (according to ICD-10 or DSM-IV-TR, or with attachment behavior). Russia forbade Americans to adopt Russian children because some adoptive parents
employs a number of treatment approaches, some of which are physically and psychologically compulsory and are considered opposed to attachment theory. As a result of such pseudoscientific treatment, some Russian children died.
@@user-on2bt2kb8r
Wow. You can cut and paste.
@@raccoonchronicles5134
Now what?
Russians do not see the dubious RAD diagnosis as an excuse for child abuse. All the more so to justify the murderers who killed our children.
There is something off about the mother. She is cold and talk about her adopted daughter as of a perfect project. She talks like a poet, but she behaves so cold. Her husband, though, seems to be a warm person. At least, he shows some emotions. Where is Julia now?
Hi Tina. I've heard of this book and will buy it on kindle. I like reading about parents raising children with mental illness and from foster care to see how the child was before and how they help the child grow and Good luck with everything! She seems to be doing very well now. connect.
Just show Julia your love and she will thrive!
Where is this alleged RAD? She looks and acts perfectly normal, and not once did I hear any mention about something terrible the child did, besides not offering more attention? Sounds more like the mom feels needy and quite anxious.
RAD does not require that the child does something terrible. You may be thinking about Oppositional Defiant disorder or Conduct Disorder. The fact that the child has trouble attaching to a care giver is what defines RAD.
Its important to remember that emotional attachment is incredibly important for the healthy mental development of human beings. We are social beings
@@nestorbeltre1203 There was no attachment only to mom. Papa Rick and Julia got along well from the very start of adoption. This girl does not have a RAD.
@@mihailable6695 How do you know that? Any source?
I have A.D not R.A.D and I love my mom alot she has patience with me. I also have symptoms of A.D.H.D and A.D.S.D.
Wow, to mother who had a potential sociopathic child - through no fault of her own, but made her part of the family. The cats, the hens, and all seem to be safe.
Not all kids with RAD have sociopathic symptoms.....
The child wasn't sociopathic. Just frightened and mistrusting. Very caring child.
Julia is a sweet heart. Such a lovely little girl. She must be a teen ager now. She certainly has strong Russian genes, which explains that she might have appeared out of place at her adoptive parents' home. But these people are very intelligent and they love the little girl. I wish her happiness and all she can wish for.
How can a child who has been living in this family since 8 months be appeared out of place ? Julia has no people dearer and closer than Tina and Rick. Communication with Russia is cut off. It is difficult to restore it now. Julia is 100% American of Russian descent.
But in order to restore even a small connection with the historical homeland, you need to learn and understand a lot. It is not simple. least come to Russia.
You need to see Novosibirsk. She needs to communicate with Russian peers.
How can you talk about Russian genetics
if the memory of Russia is empty? How can a girl feel like she is part of the great Russian culture if she has only heard a few poorly performed Russian pieces of music? What does this child hear about Russia? She does not hear or know anything good about Russia. Her Russian genes are sleeping. This girl has heard more about the RAD than reliable information about Russia.
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Culture of the Novosibirsk region
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And more .... Yulia should know that Siberia is multinational and diversified. Novosibirsk residents know not only Russian culture, but also culture, such as representatives of Novosibirsk ethnic groups - Germans, Ukrainians, Siberian Tatars, Jews, Belarusians ...
There is no exact information about the nationality of Yulia, she may belong to any of these ethnic groups. Though .....
here the largest number of ethnic Russians.
ruclips.net/video/cLI9Eey89CE/видео.html
In Italy, Russian children do not have attachment disorders. Across Europe, adopted Russian children do not have such problems. Except England. The British adopted several dozen Russian children and began to howl as if they were occupied by Russian paratroopers. Americans have always complained too. Allegedly, the Russians shake off their defective children.
The British quickly realized that love didn't work and stopped adopting children in Russia. The Americans continued to take thousands of children out of Russia. They took the children and blamed Russia for the poor quality of these children. In Russia, the child is good, but he comes to the USA and becomes inadequate. Maybe American adoptive parents are to blame for the fact that Russian orphans do not like them?
However, this was not always the case.
See how this Russian child melts with love.
He is overwhelmed by emotion and enjoys love.
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Russians take a child from an orphanage
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This mom has been negotiating with the baby for 2 months. The crumb did not allow mommy to approach her. But in the end they understood each other..
@@user-on2bt2kb8r So what do you think the American adoptive parents are doing differently then the European adoptive parents?
@@TeaCup1940 Я думаю что родное государство должно заботится о своих сиротах . Россия в более тяжёлые периоды своей истории обеспечивала медицинскую помощь .образование ,питание и одежду для сирот . Так было в царской России . Так было в социалистической России . Я не понимаю почему в период демократизации и американской колонизации (90 гг) Россия приняла решение продавать сирот за пределы России . Вероятно это был акт предательства правительства по отношению к народу .
So happy foryou and your family. Even with birth children we have problems , if you truly love them it all works out..hopefully. ..
How have Julia's symptoms manifested themselves now that she is going through puberty?
Wonderful child.
tina,im a mom with a son who has rad?i'm deeply scared as there are no therapists in my area to help me undrstand how to deal with samuel? plz. help as i want so desperately to have a son who will let me read ,love him ,hold him,all them things? plz.. tell me what i can do???????????thnx godbless
Have you read any of the books by Bryan Post? We are in the process of adopting a RAD child so I don't know if they work or not, but I've ready them and they make a whole lot of sense. Kind of approaching parenting in a very different way.
YES ASHLEY i havent read that particular one hun but many many others on different parenting techniques? my son just has to be in control and does not listen to any authority and wont accept time outs or anything? yea its bad? we r trying ritalyn and it just makes him more mean and mad:((((((((
RedNeckLover77 I'm sorry you don't have the resources where you live. I'd try asking the parents on some of the RAD forums like this one ( www.mdjunction.com/forums/reactive-attachment-disorder-discussions )...the forums are where I've been getting tons of information to help me prepare.
ohh cool thnx for that! i hope u know what its gonna be like hun? its a miserable existence unless your trained in rad:(
RedNeckLover77 I've been researching my butt off. I know its going to be tougher than anything I've ever done but I'm going into this informed. A lot of the things my little girl experienced, I was exposed to when I was a kid so there's a certain kind of connection I feel to her because our roads were very similar.
Wait!!! i just watched a video of someone mention Julia and she was adopted too.. is that the same woman and her husband>???
oh wow!!! its the same woman!!! nevermind
In this situation, I don't think one should ignore that the little girl comes from a union of two adults, with complex backgrounds for ex: cultural, biological, spiritual. Julia appears to carry very strong genes which one or both of her biological parents would likely relate to with little to no effort. She did spend 9 months in the womb of a woman and it's not like one can dismiss this time spent as entirely insignificant, so it's not like she's never known her biological mother. I understand that neither of her biological parents can be with her and that Tina and Rick have taken over as her parents. The little girl appears 'a little out of place' and I think it's because she has very strong Russian genes belonging to a distinct family line and that exceptionally, a stronger than usual cultural barrier at the genetic level is present. Likely this contributes to her tendency to express RAD.
I don't agree with you here. She was adopted by American people. But these people are very intelligent, responsible. Theu will provide a good education to Julia and they give her love. Julia is a sweet little girl, very kind. She does not need to be ashamed because she had a sort of RAD; she is doing very well and is really trying to do her best to fit the family. I do believe that nonetheless she has strong Russian genes. She comes from SiberIa. I wonder how she is growing up now. I hope she is happy.
Julia from Siberia Siberia is the storehouse of the gene pool of Russia. A huge number of Russian scientists, politicians, artists, musicians, artists, athletes ... from Siberia. By the way, last year Moscow was conquered by a girl (Eva Solomennikova, 9 years old), who lived for the first 3 years of her life in a Novosibirsk orphanage.
ruclips.net/video/pwSJlVyofkg/видео.html
Many orphans from Siberia participate in the musical TV show - YOU ARE SUPER!
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"You are super!". Fourth season: Yulia Ushakova, 18 years old, Irkutsk region. Hallelujah
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“You are super!”: Daria Dektyarenok, 13 years old, Krasnoyarsk Territory.
These Siberian girls are orphans and they are talented. I do not understand how Moscow allowed the export of Siberian children from Russia. This is not possible.
This is the destruction of the Russian gene pool.
Чем же помогает Тина Трастер американским усыновителям? . Она им сообщает что дети которых они усыновили имеют искалеченную психику . Она сообщает этим усыновителям что они отличные родители и хорошие люди , но дети им достались необычные . Далее она поясняет в чём необычность этих детей и отсылает читателей к так называемым терапевтам . занимающимися этой проблемой .
Далее сказки о любви заканчиваются . Эти никем не признанные терапевты сообщают усыновителям что они вовсе не детей усыновили ,а скотов которые хуже собак .Причём намного хуже . Миссия усыновителей -сделать из этих диких зверёнышей нормальных людей . Методы эти псевдо- терапевты применяют садистские . Так что Тина вовсе не белая и пушистая . Тина Трастер это стрелочник который указывает направление куда и к кому идти если начались проблемы с приёмным ребёнком . Почему так много времени в этом видеосюжете уделено курочкам и кошечкам? .Это не случайно . По мнению негодяев АТ-терапевтов ущербные приёмные дети склонны мучить и убивать животных .. Особенно они любят душить птенчиков . Тина Трастер демонстрирует свои достижения - Русская девочка не душит цыплят и гладит кошек ! Браво Тина Брависcимо Рик! В России Юлия начинала бы свой день с отрывания голов у щенков и котят . Аллилуя ! Джулия спасена .! С помощью многострадальной Тины Трастер она поборола в себе демонов и стала обычным американским ребёнком , .ну а игра на скрипочке -это высший пилотаж! Невероятное достижение для усыновлённого ребёнка из жуткой России.(сарказм)
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Впрочем всё бы было хорошо .Эта семья не применяет АТ терапию .Но эта семья пропагандирует АТ-терапию и значит способствует популяризации жестокого обращения с детьми .
-
Lovely
Nice
Blessings
Ничего сногсшибательного . За 8 месячными здоровыми отказниками в России очередь . Все приёмные дети в России обязаны посещать развивающие кружки , музыкальную школу или спортивные секции . Приёмные семьи даже обязаны отчитываться и информировать органы опеки об успехах приёмного ребёнка . Так что ...если не скрипач-то певец ,танцор ,футболист.....и т д . Любой каприз за деньги государства .
Кстати у Юлии дисплазия тазобедренного сустава + ожирение . 2 года назад было не так заметно ,но сейчас уже серьёзные проблемы. Надо лечить. Юлии трудно ходить (переваливается как уточка ) и красоты ожирение не прибавляет . Может Тина реальные проблемы со здоровьем Юлии начнёт решать ? Может хватит носиться с мифическим RAD который она лично диагностировала у Юлии ? Никакой детский врач диагноз RAD этой девочке не ставил . У Юлии есть друзья ? Чем старше становится эта девочка тем больше и больше она замыкается в себе . Что есть интересного в жизни этого ребёнка ? В школе она аутсайдер. Мама ,папа и скрипочка.....
"Имена Продакшн" - Мытищинский музыкальный детский дом
ruclips.net/video/Cq4eeCDJwcw/видео.html
Выпускной в Мытищинской школе музыкального воспитания(детский дом ).
Ровесники Джулии.(15-16 лет )
ruclips.net/video/uXNhW5A8Kx0/видео.html
Заявка на конкурс
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Что то не так было с этой мамой . С самого начала было что-то не так . Эта мамочка брезговала памперсы дочке менять и
возложила эту обязанность на мужа . Материнский инстинкт проснулся у этой дамочки только спустя 2 с половиной года после того как она усыновила ребёнка . Эта мамаша вдруг поняла что ребёнок игнорирует её. А она как хотела ? Брезговать ребёнком и ждать от этого ребёнка любви ? Юлия любила отца и у него не было проблем с дочерью . Поотдавали детей бездетным американским бабам и удивляются что эти эгоистки не знают с какого бока к ребёнку подходить м сравнивают этого ребёнка с лисами и гусями . Гнать надо было этих усыновителей пока они школу для усыновителей не закончат и экзамен по детской психологии и педагогике не сдадут . ГНАТЬ ПОГАНОЙ МЕТЛОЙ! Тогда бы заткнулись бы американцы про RAD и про FASD и, научились бы хотя бы готовить нормальную еду для ребёнка чтобы ожирения у малышки не было .
Дима Яковлев 12 лет.
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Дима воспитывается в приемной семье, очень любит петь, а вторая его большая любовь - это путешествия. Дима растет самостоятельным и старается помогать родителям по дому. Он замечательно готовит, и пока даже не решил, кем больше хочет стать - певцом или поваром. Точно знает только одно: добившись успеха, он будет помогать всем, кому нужна помощь! Сейчас Дима снимается в детском юмористическом киножурнале "ЕРАЛАШ"
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Биологические родители лишены родительских прав . С 4 лет жил в детском доме . С 7 лет живёт в приёмной семье
«Ты супер!»: Дмитрий Яковлев, 12 лет, Томская область. «Птица счастья
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Настоящий русский мальчик .Почти задохнулся ,но допел до конца ; )
It's sad
Sorry, but any kid who hurts animals, sets fires or harms old people is not deserving of sympathy and understanding. And any parent who ALLOWS these crazed children near an animal or other vulnerable, helpless creatures should be put in jail.
Thank you for seeing something in this child that I and others don't. She's lucky to have you, as is society.
+blackcitroenlove ikr
Jane Doh I completely understand how/why you feel that way. Like you, I also do not condone acts that involve destroying property, and hurting other people and animals. For a log time, I just assumed that any kid who willingly did those things was just born evil.
But then I came across a movie called “Child of Rage” which is based on a documentary of the same title. It’s about a girl and her younger brother who are adopted by a married couple. Not long afterwards, she starts lying to, and manipulating other people, hurting her brother, hurting animals and other kids at school. When the parents decide to research her background, they find out that the girl’s birth Mother died and the birth father was a drunk who sexually abused the girl. The adoptive parents took the girl to a therapist who specializes in RAD. With months and months of intensive work, the therapist helped the girl to work through all of her pain and anger. Eventually, she was to feel empathy and compassion for others (people and animals alike).
I know it doesn’t seem like it, but underneath a child’s rage is pain and sadness.
blackcitroenlove Not EVERYTHING has to do with race. 🙄
As a child with RAD saying "I knew something was wrong from very early on" is a bit harsh to say about your child. Anyway, good luck^^
Acknowledging there's a problem is Reality, it's not harsh at all. Noone can fix a problem without accepting it's there. I'm glad they paid such close attention, accepted their truth, and set up their life in the right direction instead of denying it and allowing things to fester. True life warriors standing in their truth.
How would you say it?
You needed to create distress in the baby until it cries, and then you come and remove the cause of the distress. Very controversial therapy though.
Could that not backfire and create more confusion if the adoptive parent is the stress source and the comforter at the same time?
5:48 She should feed that girl better than that, just a sandwich is not enough nutrition.
Sometimes a sandwitch for a child her age is more then enough. But of course if she only eats that all the time, it is not a good nutrition. Children need of course a varied diet. But it is not bad if they once eat a sandwitch. But to be honest, the girl did not seem to like it very much...
Xox
Виктор Борисов ни дня не жил в детском доме ,но его жизнь висела на волоске .Мать -алкоголичка ночью в мороз выкинула 2х годовалого Витю на улицу . Мальчик оказался в реанимации .Сильное обморожение .Угроза потери конечностей .Операцию проводили под местным наркозом так как лёгкие были отморожены . Потом полгода восстановления в больнице . Его усыновила медсестра этой больницы .
Михаил Задорнов выводит Витю первый раз на сцену
ruclips.net/video/sgoF_4iQBHo/видео.html
«Ты супер!»: Виктор Борисов, 15 лет, Волгоградская область. «Баллада о борьбе»
ruclips.net/video/nALKi3KmCB4/видео.html
ruclips.net/video/JnZwjnvrAZ4/видео.html
В этом году Виктор поступил в ВГИК (Всероссийский государственный институт кинематографии
имени С. А. Герасимова ) на актёрское отделение ..
There's nothing wrong with this child.
What makes you believe that?
Can I just say that when u adopt a baby, they have to get used to u first their not just gonna love u all of sudden!!
There is a huge difference between needing to adjust to a new family situation and reactive attachment disorder...it is a real issue in adopted children raised in institutions
Rachel 24601 thank you for dealing with this dumbass
Not even a biological baby will love their parents immediately, since they do not even know what love is. They can only feel attached to their parents. But love is a choice, not just a simple and volatile feeling.
Y'all I wrote this comment 6 years ago when I was 13 lmao I didn't even know I commented but thanks for the replies
a dissorder like this is something your born with. you dont Just get it somewhere.
only saying this to be clear.
you're not born with it. reactive attachment disorder is a result of neglect or for whatever (external) reason inability to form a stable bond with a caretaker, e.g. being at an orphanage where caretakers don't have the time to bond with each specific child.
Maartje Van Tilborg Nope. You form it as a coping skill because of severe neglect in very early months/years. Just like you're not born with PTSD; it's a result of trauma.