I do think Shane could have said "Chloe No, Chloe No" and "Baby can I do anything?". Other than that Hannah is feeling like most women, she doesn't want to feel alone during what was a household mini crisis. Perhaps they could have professional upholstery cleaners in and get the stain out.
Me thinks Hannah has an issue with making mistakes!! Hence the blaming of Shane to avoid her feelings! Me also thinks, Shane was reacting the way he thought would be best to support Hannah, having seen how she reacted to similar situations over the last few years now! Hannah you really do have an issue with being seen as wrong or making a mistake!
Shane is not the asshole. It was an accident. No one’s fault, but lesson learned for next time. What good does panicking do? Either the stain will come out or it won’t. But either way, it’s not the end of the world. It sucks, yes, but I think Shane was trying to help. I think Hannah was projecting her frustration with herself for knocking it over onto Shane and somehow making it his fault.
And I caught shades of resentment that if she didn't have to feed him it wouldn't have happened, therefore it was his fault. I'm sure he picked upon that and felt bad too, I just don't get what she expected him to say or do that would change anything after the fact. Also not a great strategy to ask your viewers to pick the asshole in a personal situation, seems vindictive.
@@CharGC123I also picked up the subtle "if I didn't have to feed you, I wouldn't have knocked it over so it's your fault" (Shane's fault per Hannah). I agree nobody was an a-hole in this situation. It was and accident and hopefully they both learned from it. 🤷♀️
“It was equally your fault. It was your bite.” I really love Hannah but it was really disappointing to hear her say that. Like I can relate to being a perfectionist and uncomfortable with making mistakes but she’s finding any way to not have to say yea I accidentally knocked the bowl over. Instead she is forcing Shane to share in that blame because he physically can’t move his arms to feed himself and therefore couldn’t have saved her from being the one to have knocked the bowl over?
@@Randersonwood The point you seemed to have missed is that NONE of us, besides their actual friends and family, know them well at all... we watch manufactured videos of their public personas and have zero personal interaction with them! I enjoy their content and like them both, but Hannah wanted opinions, and so I said what I felt. Unless you are a personal friend, you don't qualify to determine the "point we missed", it is just your equally biased opinion.
I always appreciated the fact that my mom never made a big deal when we spilled or broke something while growing up. No one appreciates a guilt complex on top of the stupidity or anxiousness they are already feeling. A “no big deal” attitude is always appreciated. Hannah was wrong but not an a-hole.
I was shocked when I've heard from people over the years who said they actually got in trouble, or even spanked when they spilled or broke things as a child! Can you imagine? My parents didn't make a big deal about spills or about any accidents like that. How can you possibly "discipline" a child for making a simple mistake? Parenting classes really should be mandatory, or at least offered in high school/college. Some of these parents just have no clue! I had a childhood friend whose mother whipped her with a belt because she accidentally spilled spaghetti sauce on her shirt and it got stained. I was stunned and saddened when she told me. In my innocence, I said, "But couldn't you just tell her it was an accident?" My friend sadly shook her head, and said, "no, it wouldn't matter."
Neither one was the asshole. I do understand Hannah's frustration. But Shane didn't do anything wrong. (Can you imagine Shane's frustration of not being able to get up and help? I'm sure he would've if he could've.) He didn't say anything like, "Nice going, Grace." That would make him the asshole. Blaming Shane because it was his bite seems a little immature to me. Also, if Hannah was already searching to find out what to do, he probably thought Hannah already had that under control. If Hannah wanted him to also be searching then she should've asked him. His ESP probably isn't any stronger than most people's. It was a frustrating situation. No one is perfect. You are both amazing people.
Neither of you are the A-hole! Shane I think you did your best by not giving advice. And next time remember empathy doesn’t require that you feel the same as Hannah but to provide supportive noises to what she’s feeling like “Oh no!” Saying “It will be okay”, though your intention was to assure her, it can seem a little dismissive. Hannah being distraught and upset overwhelmed you; with a less distressing situation you might just ask Shane for help Googling rather than being mad that he wasn’t. BOTH of you are superb at communication and self-reflection. What an amazing couple you are!
I agree with the original message above about the AITA. I also wanted to say that Shane's horn has a pretty bad design flaw. Maybe you could bring it up with the manufacturer. Anyway I love your show and the game Hannah made up is hilarious! I hope you do continue playing. 😊💝
about 20 yrs ago I worked at Home Instead in PA. 😂 and I don't think either or is the Ahole. Hannah I probably would have reacted the same way. And Shane, my husband of 28yrs. Reacts the way you do. Good luck you guys and us communicate well after the fight. ❤
I don't think either of you is the a**hole. I would have reacted like Hanna, but in hindsight the damage to the sofa really didn't seem like a big deal to Shane. He tried to be supportive but it came off as dismissive to Hannah. Maybe this is more about a huge difference of perspective.
Okay, when Shane started talking about getting his "snacky", I completely lost it. I had tears rolling down my face from laughing so hard from that point on, and with his sarcastic baby talk and Hannah losing it..... Probably one of the funniest, absolutely hilarious "no holds barred" conversation between the two of you. Absolutely now a favorite of your episodes and I have been with you guys since the start. Still laughing..........
If anyone doubted that you two are a married couple all they'd have to do is watch you fight over the oil on the couch. That was definitely a married couple moment. Shane is no the a-hole. He could have offered some form of help but he thought he was doing that by remaining quiet and calm. If you wanted more from him like him googling something than you should have asked. He can't read minds. I love you both but he's not the a-hole this time.
Shane was not the bad apple. Hannah was stressed and emotional because something upsetting happened. It might have been much worse if Shane were chiming in, "do this, do that!" I think you have even experienced that. Some years ago I was vacationing with my children and without my husband. I left my wallet behind at the store we stopped at and didn't realize until much later. I pulled the van over and turned it upside down, looking for my wallet. I couldn't find it and I turned on my children, "Why aren't you more upset? This is a big deal!" My son, who was around 15, said, "Well, I think you are upset enough for all of us." We were able to return to the shop the next day and got the wallet back, intact. So, no, Shane doesn't need to respond with the same emotion that you do, and it doesn't make him the bad apple. I think you were more upset about the couch and the stain and the new things getting ruined, and you have taken it out on Shane. You're more upset about the new things being ruined, IMHO.
Love the game Hannah. So funny 🤣 In relation to the cushions, it’s done. There’s nothing that can be done after the event so I get what Shane is saying. He’s not guilty your honour. 🤣
When my wife spills or breaks something, I usually say, "I'm just glad it wasn't me". Mostly because if I had done it she would be very angry at me and just be upset. Whereas, when she does it, I don't get angry because I understand that it was just an accident and not really a huge problem in the scheme of things. So, of course, I'm totally on Shane's side here. He knew she was angry at herself, the situation, and potentially anyone nearby. Being silent seemed the best option, to not make things worse. After awhile, just saying seemingly supportive things like, "it's not that big of a deal", or "everything will be ok", seemed to be the best option to hopefully make her feel better, and deescalate. Unfortunately, there just might not have been a 'right' answer. You try your best to be supportive and helpful, but in the end, still get called the Ahole.
Okay so while I understand Hannah’s feelings towards the couch situation, I’m very much a ‘it’s not a big deal’ person when it comes to possessions. Like yeah I’d also be upset if my brand new couch got stained, but it’s not anything major, stuff is just stuff.
Love watching you guys. You should have called the store you bought the couch from, they would have told you what to use. I got some cleaning soap with mine. Blessings to you both 🙏🏾
In my experience, silence was probably better than sticking your foot in your mouth. If he spoke up he’d probably say the wrong thing and anger you even more - guys really excel at this 🤣 I would have been freaking about the couch too. I hope you’re able to get it cleaned. I don’t think anyone is the a-hole in this situation.
My opinion: Shane was not the a-hole. He just handled the situation calmly. I try to take good care of our material things, but I definitely don’t stress about them. Life happens.
I can see that you have different attitudes towards furniture 😅 Maybe you could work on your love languages too. But more importantly stock up on baby powder and bicarbonate of soda. Both have several uses around the home. And ...uh, don't balance bowls with liquid in them in such a daft place! I mean, honestly, I knew what was going to happen from the beginning 😮 I hope you manage to get it dry cleaned
Idkkk I think Hannah is the A hole, she said “wow I feel like the only adult here” knowing full well he gets mistaken as a child so much that it upsets him. Then also did it again when explaining the snack thing being his “snacky snack”
Sorry Hanna, I think you getting mad at Shane for keeping calm in that situation makes you the AH. It seems like you’re taking your frustration out on Shane.
Nope. I do not feel Shane is the AHole. He cant read your mind about what you need in the moment. Instead of yelling at him when he frustrates you, by not reacting exactly as you expect him too,… try telling him what you need from him calmly. Then he knows, and can give you what you need. Yelling at him for not knowing what you need is actually abusive. Love you both. Marriage is hard, communication is KEY!
Hannah is the A hole... her accident, her emotions going haywire... what could Shane have said or done to help the situation? Clear A hole in this situation is the wife I'm afraid...
I am so sorry, Hannah. This time, I would have to with Shane. My reason is that when me and my other half has dealt with stuff like that, I would have gotten upset either way with Winston. If I am that upset, nothing he does or says will make it better. Love you both 🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵
Agreed. She should communicate her needs better in the moment instead of making him feel like an asshole. That definitely would have been more productive than a fight. Maturity will come with time. If you work on it.
After having kids and being married for a while, we just call situations like this a “laundry problem.” Messes happen … things are not as important as feelings and relationships. When things get heated, we will call it out as a laundry problem.
Hannah is the ahole!! It wasn’t anyone’s fault but hers (if you need to think of it as anyone’s “fault”). The logic that it was her hand feeding his mouth is ridiculous! It was a scenario that was very predictable (oil soaked food on a leather couch) and just because she was freaking out doesn’t mean that Shane has to as well. Definitely side with Shane on this one. Call a professional cleaner, they may be able to get it out.
Shane you are not the a**hole. Hannah needed you to remain calm even though she doesn't realise it. But Hannah isn't the a**hole either because she had her hands full and handled it well.
While saying, “What can I do to help?” goes a long way… it’s also ok to let the other person know what you need from them. No assuming and no hard feelings.
Shane you would be a great lawyer….and comedian! You have my vote I don’t think I have laughed that hard in years! I like the defensive, a bit sarcastic Shane! 😂
How does Hannah look so LA already! You guys seem so happy - maybe the happiest I've ever seen you. I'm starting my own channel soon and you've been such an inspiration!!!! So much love.
Shane is NOT the a-hole. He was in an un-winnable situation in which he was expected to read a woman’s mind. Hannah was still mad even after he explained himself, so she would have been mad no matter what he did. In reality she is mad at herself for spilling the snack.
As a physically disabled person, when something has gone wrong that I can’t physically help with, it makes me feel a lot of things, mostly just awful. I go quiet, especially if I can’t physically escape a situation and I feel helpless and less than helpful. I try to make my presence as unobtrusive as possible so I don’t make things worse. I had to stop listening after some time because it took me back to feeling like this.
My husband knows not to say anything when a mess has been created . You know the saying "no comment from the peanut gallery" this wirks great for us after 43 years of marriage 🤓
Hannah saying “ it was your bite” when they were both eating on the couch cracked me up 😂❤ I think a couch stain sucks but it’s not something to get too stressed over you’re still healthy and safe and have the resources you need to succeed in life. ❤ Shane you should have immediately got on door dash and ordered some baby powder lol now you know for next time 😅
Hannah get ready for greasy finger prints on everything once you have kiddos 😅❤ my nanny kids school uniform is dreadful to wash because of all his little greasy finger prints all over it 😂 same kiddo also vomited on their families white cloth couch twice 😅
I am with shane 100%. Shane is not an a-hole. I am calling hannah a slight a-hole. Shanes response to stay calm was correct. Panic often leads to bad decisions and make things worse. Did panic get rid of the stain? 😂😂😂
When something like this happens to me I go silent and get into fixing the situation as much I can without talking much. If I couldn’t physically move or help, I wouldn’t talk unless I am sure I am helping. Also, I feel like if I was trying to handle the situation physically, I wouldn’t want someone talking at me. I could see Hannah’s point, but I completely understand Shane’s reaction.
Just a quick tip if you make your Chex treat again. Use a slotted spoon to put the mixture into a big baking pan. Heat your oven to 250 degrees. Bake the mixture for 45 minutes stirring every 15 minutes. No more inches of oil in the bottom of your dish to spill, it is baked into your snack. PS Neither one of you were thinking ahead to carry that bowl in the living room. Neither A-holes, just ding bats. LOL
Funeral humor! lol! On the way to a family members funeral my sister and I realized that none of the pall bearers listed in the bulletin would be present except for my very elderly grandfather. Hilarity ensued as we envisioned grandpa tugging the coffin from the hearse etc, so much so that we left the church parking lot and drove around, even stopping at a store for water to be appropriately solemn when we arrived back at the church. In the end we settled for hoping the tears of laughter would be misinterpreted for tears of grief. A different day, passing a billboard that read “partial cremation services provided” a similarly lively and hilarious conversation ensued.Who knew partial cremation was a thing!
Siding with Shane....he was calm and cool...and he did the right thing. Speaking up could have ended up making things worse. Some times silence is caring. Such a good guy. It is a couch...a couch. One day it will be, "Remember when..." No one who loves you is going to care about that couch...I'd put a pillow or blanket over it.
So Hannah, you seem to be insisting that SOMEONE has to be labeled an Asshole. Guess you win the title simply for insisting on placing a title/name. What’s wrong with owning making a mistake.
Hannah was the A-Hole. She is able bodied and can run for the agent to address the oily spill. Good thing it was Hannah's hand that tipped the bowl. Placement of the bowl is Hannah's responsibility (precarious on the arm of a sofa).
I’m normally with Hannah on things…. But I have to side with Shane on this one. Wasn’t there a story where there was an issue editing a video and Shane was trying to give advice of things to try and Hannah didn’t appreciate that? I can see why he didn’t know how to respond in this situation and probably thought he was doing the best thing. Regardless, the “snacky snack” baby talk at the beginning felt like an unnecessary dig. And let it be said…..I normally wouldn’t comment on someone’s personal conflicts, but they did ask AITA 😉
Okay, gotta weigh in... at first I thought Hannah was being unreasonable, but I can now see both sides. Shane's attempt at diffusing the situation failed but it just shows a bad judgement call and not a-hole-ness. Hannah's frustration is valid but she needs to understand that she just has different standards than Shane. I can totally relate to both sides of this situation, though. Shane, like many husbands are told daily by their wives, you just need to care more. 😅
You have to bake the chex! Low and slow. Try 250° for an hour, stirring every 15 minutes. I've never used canola oil, so not sure how much that would change it. :)
I think it would be hilarious if everytime an award is about to be announced you both start getting ready to go up and accept, maybe a tear or 2 being shed😂 love you both!
Omg I loved the "funeral home or caregivers" game!! Please do it every video!! Btw I was with Shane on those titles!🤷♀️ It was much harder than I anticipated!🤦♀️😂
The game was a fun one! I hope you do the "Business Is What?" game again, I also think that's a good name for it. On AITAH: I'm going to have to say Shane was no way TAH. In Hannah's state of mind anything Shane said would make it worse. Hannah spilled the bowl, Shane is in the clear there. Hannah could have asked Shane to Google the removal ideas. So Sorry Hannah, you are TAH in this situation. You lost your temper & took it out on Shane. I generally like your banter together but it's easy to see you are both strong personalities. Edit: Had this been like a regular Reddit post & written as OP - Am I TAH? Not knowing names or gender of the poster, I'd still say OP is TAH for the same reasons I gave.
OMG this new game Hannah thought of was HILARIOUS !!! The fact that she found/thought of the similarities in names of caregiving companies and funeral homes is so witty!! LOVED IT
Hey, saying it with love and all good Vibes, since we are playing the reddit game. Hanna is the A hole. Shane is not the a hole. Shane has the right to not be reading hanna's mind, as to if the situation is an emotions problem or a problem solving thing. Hanna should not assume Shane can read her mind, and should instead find a way to comunicate which time of problem it is, so Shane can be helpful the way Hanna needs it. It really seems Shane does care, but cannot read minds
My other theory is that Shane really wanted to physically help, but couldn't, and was verbally frozen because he didn't know what to do. Again, neither is the asshole.
Shane is not the A-hole at all! Hahahaha! I do understand Hannah's point because I am just like that with my husband hahahaha!! I break or spill something and I get mad at him hahahaha! But, yeah, I don't think Shane is the A-hole! He actually was right to stay silent for a moment and let you calm down a bit. Actually, I even think that he was more "an adult" that Hannah in that moment though! Hahahaha! but, no shade! Accidents happen! It is nobody's fault :D
I am with Shane. being calm about a stain is better than freaking out. Shane is not an A-hole neither is Hannah, she just over reacted to the situation. Great episode!!!
Married woman for almost 10 years, relationship for 13 years. I have some thoughts. Hannah, 1. Replace "two adults should have thought..." with "it would have been better if..." The "should have" is a cognitive distortion and is a common thought pattern for people who have anxiety/anxious thoughts. (Side note: I have two degrees in Psychology and working on my third. I do have credentials and feel qualified to make that comment.) 2. Accidents happen. It's ok. There doesn't have to be a person to blame. What's important is that you learn from those accidents and mistakes. 3. Having negative feelings about spilling oil everywhere is ok. It's a perfectly valid feeling. Taking out that frustration on your husband, not the best response. Telling him "I feel like I'm the only adult in the house" knowing that he has a history of people treating him like a child was very mean and uncalled for. I'm not saying that YOU are mean, but that behavior was mean. It's obvious to those of us who having been watching for a while that you see him as a smart, capable adult, and that comment was probably geared toward the fact that he didn't respond the way you wanted him to as opposed to actually seeing him as a child, but it was still mean. 4. It's important to communicate how your partner could best support you in a stressful situation (and it seems like you do). It's important to have these conversations regularly. There are going to be stressful situations that are more typical, then there will be situations that you didn't predict or prepare for. That's ok. Neither one of you are going to respond the best way in the moment. That's ok. What's important is to talk about what you feel like would be helpful in that moment and why you think so after both of you calm down, then both of you forgive yourselves and each other. 5. I do think Shane brought up a valid point. In the past, when he has tried to "help" by coming up with suggestions, you got mad at him. In this moment, he tried to help by being calm, you got mad at him. I can see how in his mind, there was no winning. You were frustrated (which is understandable), and you took it out on him (which is not understandable). It's not fair to your partner to have a perfect response in mind of how you think they should respond in a moment that doesn't happen very often, then get mad at your partner for failing to read your mind to respond exactly how you think they should respond. This leads me to Shane. Shane, 1. As you know, trying to solve someone's problems in the moment of frustration is not helpful. I think it's good that you listen to Hannah by not trying to immediately solve her problem. Being silent while Hannah's freaking out, i can see your logic there. I think having a brief moment of silence followed by, "how can i help" might have worked better. 2. "It's not a big deal" comes across as dismissive in general, and definitely not a good thing to say out loud when your partner is panicking. 3. In moments like this, all logic and rationality goes out the door. And no, that's not because Hannah's a woman. That's not a woman thing. That's a human thing. "How can i help? I love you. We will get through this. I'm here for you," that's helpful in the moment. But ask Hannah what she thinks about those comments first before applying them. My final comments, you two seem like a happy and loving couple. You're still learning how to communicate. That's ok. That's a life long process. No one is the asshole here. Just a normal couple continuing the process of learning how to be a couple.
I realize that my whole comment might come across as unsolicited advice, and that no one will probably read this. I was trying to respond to the AITA by saying no one is the asshole, and giving my reasoning as to why. But also, as a person who has been married for a while and as a person who enjoys watching your content with my husband (we watch your videos together and pause to discuss our thoughts throughout the videos), I felt like I wanted to give a little more just in case you or anyone else reads this, I how my response could be helpful.
As far as your fight, I understand Shane’s conundrum. When you can’t honestly do anything to help, it’s hard to know what to do. Sometimes it’s just better to be quiet and stay out of the way when there is nothing you can physically do to help. I agree he could have helped with the Googling. (By the way, cornstarch? Do you have that in your kitchen? I can’t imagine Dawn would be really helpful since it doesn’t help to have liquid on the leather) However, I am older than you both added together and I still have moments of “WHERE ARE ALL THE GROWNUPS????” in times of crisis. It can be paralyzing. Maybe that was Shane’s problem, not that he was an asshole but that he was so paralyzed by the realization that there is no other adult in the home.
I think neither. I totally understand Hannah being upset about their nice new furniture being stained, and shane saying "its fine just put a pillow over it" would make me mad in that situation. He probably should've offered suggestions for how to clean it up, but I get that he was trying to stay calm and not stress her out even more.
Shane wasn't the a-hole. No a-holes in this story. This story illustrates some big differences between men and women. Hannah is reasoning with her emotions. Shane was trying his best and gets no credit for it. He was not doing emotional reasoning. He was actually trying to remember how to be supportive in a situation where Hannah is upset. He didn't get it right. Oops. Time to endure the wrath. Which he does with his usual aplomb and humor. You two are adorable.
I was on a history tour in Philly run by this hostel employee, and he took us to an orphan graveyard next to a daycare playground. Then he took us around the corner and the name of the daycare was in fact Little Angels.
Shane is not an AH. It is not easy to know what to do when emotions are high about something. There are many paths one can take and quiet support is not unreasonable to me. Another of option is to ask. “ How can I best support you or this situation right now?”
I don’t think either of you are the a hole. I understand the silence from Shane and totally get how Hannah felt overwhelmed. You can’t read one another’s mind but instead live and learn about one another and in the future meet in the middle. And show one another grace in these situations.
Regarding the couch, cushions get stains 🤷♀Maybe you can contact the manufacturer to get replacement cushions or cushion covers. Hypothetical Freaks is my FAVORITE segment/game that I've learned from you. It is right up my alley and I "play" on my own if I have something coming up that makes me anxious. It's such a great tool hahaha.
I got an image of Shane speeding down the red carpet with Hannah standing tall on the back of the chair, with her gown flowing in the wind, shouting"He's the A-hole!"
My husband and I have been married for 27yrs. We’ve definitely had situations similar to this. I MUCH PREFER my husband to be present and quiet. I’m not calling Hannah an AHole bc I love her. But I don’t think Shane was either. It’s tough knowing what to do sometimes. And serving each other is a learning process. You two are doing a Great Job ❤
I totally understand what Shane is saying . I understand why he stayed quiet. It’s not his fault that the bowl was nocked over. I don’t think it should have turned into a fight . I totally understand you being upset about the couch but I feel that you took your anger out on him and that’s not right. It was an accident . I’m sure he felt horrible and probably felt bad that he couldn’t help you clean the couch.
There is a time for handing out business cards - and it's not at an awards show. (We didn't invite one particular person to our wedding because we KNEW they would hand out business cards.)
Before Shane said his reasoning I felt that he was coming from a compassionate attitude of trying to be a calming presence in the situation. I can relate to both sides.
Its crazy to say its partially Shanes fault. Its like next door to blaming his physical condition on him and that he requires assistance eating in the first place. Hannah takes the ahole if one MUST be labeled as such! (I do hate accidentally ruining shit, especially expensive shit and I certainly can empathize in regards to emotions going haywire in the moment.) Looking forward to next weeks episode after you guys have a chance to read the comments lol Love you!
Here's a suggestion: Shane, when you find yourself in a similar situation, instead of guessing what Hannah wants, maybe ask her, "Do you want me to help you or do you want me to listen right now?" Hannah, if you want Shane to do something, ask him. (33 years of marriage and I'm still not great at this, but it does help.) Also, when Hannah is upset about something, acknowledge she's upset, even if you don't see it as a problem. The bottom line is, it's bugging her. Then you can move on to a solution or de-escalating the situation. No a-holes here; just two people learning how to communicate in a tense situation.
“I’m ready for my night night snacky!” 😂 I am laughing so hard here bc Shane kept going!! Sooo funny guys!! Thanks for the laughs!! This video displays that you guys are the real deal! ❤️ I love it! Bottom line….no oil ever again by the couch! I’m thinking this episode goes down in the books as one of the best ever! Also, to dnd with the awards was so funny!!! Love you guys!
At home funerals are definitely a thing. That was the norm in the U.S. up until the early 1900's, and still is in some places. The practice is gaining popularity again because home funerals can be more easily customized to fit the individual's wants and needs, and they are generally less expensive. Hannah's game reminded me of one of my favorite "this or that" games, which is Tolkien elf or prescription medicine.
No asshole here. But I love that after the fact Hannah was able to say in that moment it really would have helped to have support and described her needs. That is great communication. I loved it. Now next time when Shane tries to solve the problem I can't wait to hear how that goes😂😂.❤❤❤
Shane was screwed no matter what he did. 😂
I think Shane keeping his cool under duress is very adult behavior!
I do think Shane could have said "Chloe No, Chloe No" and "Baby can I do anything?". Other than that Hannah is feeling like most women, she doesn't want to feel alone during what was a household mini crisis. Perhaps they could have professional upholstery cleaners in and get the stain out.
Me thinks Hannah has an issue with making mistakes!! Hence the blaming of Shane to avoid her feelings!
Me also thinks, Shane was reacting the way he thought would be best to support Hannah, having seen how she reacted to similar situations over the last few years now! Hannah you really do have an issue with being seen as wrong or making a mistake!
she definitely does. she's a narcissist.
As much as I love them, I agree
@@ellyne3863 She's not a narcissist. You have no idea what a narcissist is
Shane is not the asshole. It was an accident. No one’s fault, but lesson learned for next time. What good does panicking do? Either the stain will come out or it won’t. But either way, it’s not the end of the world. It sucks, yes, but I think Shane was trying to help. I think Hannah was projecting her frustration with herself for knocking it over onto Shane and somehow making it his fault.
And I caught shades of resentment that if she didn't have to feed him it wouldn't have happened, therefore it was his fault. I'm sure he picked upon that and felt bad too, I just don't get what she expected him to say or do that would change anything after the fact. Also not a great strategy to ask your viewers to pick the asshole in a personal situation, seems vindictive.
@@CharGC123I also picked up the subtle "if I didn't have to feed you, I wouldn't have knocked it over so it's your fault" (Shane's fault per Hannah). I agree nobody was an a-hole in this situation. It was and accident and hopefully they both learned from it. 🤷♀️
@@CharGC123 you and Donita have both missed the point entirely. Sounds like you don’t know them very well at all!
“It was equally your fault. It was your bite.” I really love Hannah but it was really disappointing to hear her say that. Like I can relate to being a perfectionist and uncomfortable with making mistakes but she’s finding any way to not have to say yea I accidentally knocked the bowl over. Instead she is forcing Shane to share in that blame because he physically can’t move his arms to feed himself and therefore couldn’t have saved her from being the one to have knocked the bowl over?
@@Randersonwood The point you seemed to have missed is that NONE of us, besides their actual friends and family, know them well at all... we watch manufactured videos of their public personas and have zero personal interaction with them! I enjoy their content and like them both, but Hannah wanted opinions, and so I said what I felt. Unless you are a personal friend, you don't qualify to determine the "point we missed", it is just your equally biased opinion.
I always appreciated the fact that my mom never made a big deal when we spilled or broke something while growing up. No one appreciates a guilt complex on top of the stupidity or anxiousness they are already feeling. A “no big deal” attitude is always appreciated. Hannah was wrong but not an a-hole.
I was shocked when I've heard from people over the years who said they actually got in trouble, or even spanked when they spilled or broke things as a child! Can you imagine? My parents didn't make a big deal about spills or about any accidents like that. How can you possibly "discipline" a child for making a simple mistake? Parenting classes really should be mandatory, or at least offered in high school/college. Some of these parents just have no clue! I had a childhood friend whose mother whipped her with a belt because she accidentally spilled spaghetti sauce on her shirt and it got stained. I was stunned and saddened when she told me. In my innocence, I said, "But couldn't you just tell her it was an accident?" My friend sadly shook her head, and said, "no, it wouldn't matter."
No, Hannah is definitely an a-hole.
Neither one was the asshole. I do understand Hannah's frustration. But Shane didn't do anything wrong. (Can you imagine Shane's frustration of not being able to get up and help? I'm sure he would've if he could've.) He didn't say anything like, "Nice going, Grace." That would make him the asshole. Blaming Shane because it was his bite seems a little immature to me. Also, if Hannah was already searching to find out what to do, he probably thought Hannah already had that under control. If Hannah wanted him to also be searching then she should've asked him. His ESP probably isn't any stronger than most people's. It was a frustrating situation. No one is perfect. You are both amazing people.
I'm with Shane. Hannah should just admit she bumped the bowl and deal with the stain and not look to shift any blame as its not this big of an issue.
Shane is NOT the A hole. Good grief. It was a couch! I certainly understand the frustration, but it wasn’t a child choking, or a home intruder!
Neither of you are the A-hole! Shane I think you did your best by not giving advice. And next time remember empathy doesn’t require that you feel the same as Hannah but to provide supportive noises to what she’s feeling like “Oh no!” Saying “It will be okay”, though your intention was to assure her, it can seem a little dismissive. Hannah being distraught and upset overwhelmed you; with a less distressing situation you might just ask Shane for help Googling rather than being mad that he wasn’t. BOTH of you are superb at communication and self-reflection. What an amazing couple you are!
I agree with you
I agree with the original message above about the AITA.
I also wanted to say that Shane's horn has a pretty bad design flaw. Maybe you could bring it up with the manufacturer.
Anyway I love your show and the game Hannah made up is hilarious! I hope you do continue playing. 😊💝
OMG I see a local Home Instead and I keep forgetting to Google what it is because it sounds so creepy haha.
about 20 yrs ago I worked at Home Instead in PA. 😂 and I don't think either or is the Ahole. Hannah I probably would have reacted the same way. And Shane, my husband of 28yrs. Reacts the way you do. Good luck you guys and us communicate well after the fight. ❤
I don't think either of you is the a**hole. I would have reacted like Hanna, but in hindsight the damage to the sofa really didn't seem like a big deal to Shane. He tried to be supportive but it came off as dismissive to Hannah. Maybe this is more about a huge difference of perspective.
Okay, when Shane started talking about getting his "snacky", I completely lost it. I had tears rolling down my face from laughing so hard from that point on, and with his sarcastic baby talk and Hannah losing it..... Probably one of the funniest, absolutely hilarious "no holds barred" conversation between the two of you. Absolutely now a favorite of your episodes and I have been with you guys since the start. Still laughing..........
If anyone doubted that you two are a married couple all they'd have to do is watch you fight over the oil on the couch. That was definitely a married couple moment. Shane is no the a-hole. He could have offered some form of help but he thought he was doing that by remaining quiet and calm. If you wanted more from him like him googling something than you should have asked. He can't read minds. I love you both but he's not the a-hole this time.
Just a bit of Dawn dish soap would get that oil out. If you don’t have baby powder you can use corn starch.
Shane was not the bad apple. Hannah was stressed and emotional because something upsetting happened. It might have been much worse if Shane were chiming in, "do this, do that!" I think you have even experienced that.
Some years ago I was vacationing with my children and without my husband. I left my wallet behind at the store we stopped at and didn't realize until much later. I pulled the van over and turned it upside down, looking for my wallet. I couldn't find it and I turned on my children, "Why aren't you more upset? This is a big deal!" My son, who was around 15, said, "Well, I think you are upset enough for all of us."
We were able to return to the shop the next day and got the wallet back, intact.
So, no, Shane doesn't need to respond with the same emotion that you do, and it doesn't make him the bad apple.
I think you were more upset about the couch and the stain and the new things getting ruined, and you have taken it out on Shane. You're more upset about the new things being ruined, IMHO.
Love the game Hannah. So funny 🤣 In relation to the cushions, it’s done. There’s nothing that can be done after the event so I get what Shane is saying. He’s not guilty your honour. 🤣
When my wife spills or breaks something, I usually say, "I'm just glad it wasn't me". Mostly because if I had done it she would be very angry at me and just be upset. Whereas, when she does it, I don't get angry because I understand that it was just an accident and not really a huge problem in the scheme of things.
So, of course, I'm totally on Shane's side here. He knew she was angry at herself, the situation, and potentially anyone nearby. Being silent seemed the best option, to not make things worse. After awhile, just saying seemingly supportive things like, "it's not that big of a deal", or "everything will be ok", seemed to be the best option to hopefully make her feel better, and deescalate. Unfortunately, there just might not have been a 'right' answer. You try your best to be supportive and helpful, but in the end, still get called the Ahole.
Okay so while I understand Hannah’s feelings towards the couch situation, I’m very much a ‘it’s not a big deal’ person when it comes to possessions. Like yeah I’d also be upset if my brand new couch got stained, but it’s not anything major, stuff is just stuff.
😢
Shane was not the a-hole. He was doomed no matter what he’d tried to do/say.
TOTALLY AGREE!!!!!!! NO AH HERE.
The age old he says one thing she hears another 🤣🤣✨
Love watching you guys. You should have called the store you bought the couch from, they would have told you what to use. I got some cleaning soap with mine. Blessings to you both 🙏🏾
In my experience, silence was probably better than sticking your foot in your mouth. If he spoke up he’d probably say the wrong thing and anger you even more - guys really excel at this 🤣 I would have been freaking about the couch too. I hope you’re able to get it cleaned. I don’t think anyone is the a-hole in this situation.
I think Shane did well. He was NOT the A-hole.
you're absolutely right
My opinion: Shane was not the a-hole. He just handled the situation calmly. I try to take good care of our material things, but I definitely don’t stress about them. Life happens.
Not the end of the world. World war 2 was much worse as people actually died.😂😂❤
I can see that you have different attitudes towards furniture 😅
Maybe you could work on your love languages too.
But more importantly stock up on baby powder and bicarbonate of soda. Both have several uses around the home.
And ...uh, don't balance bowls with liquid in them in such a daft place! I mean, honestly, I knew what was going to happen from the beginning 😮
I hope you manage to get it dry cleaned
Idkkk I think Hannah is the A hole, she said “wow I feel like the only adult here” knowing full well he gets mistaken as a child so much that it upsets him. Then also did it again when explaining the snack thing being his “snacky snack”
It was a low blow
Sorry Hanna, I think you getting mad at Shane for keeping calm in that situation makes you the AH. It seems like you’re taking your frustration out on Shane.
Nope. I do not feel Shane is the AHole.
He cant read your mind about what you need in the moment. Instead of yelling at him when he frustrates you, by not reacting exactly as you expect him too,… try telling him what you need from him calmly. Then he knows, and can give you what you need. Yelling at him for not knowing what you need is actually abusive.
Love you both. Marriage is hard, communication is KEY!
Accidents happen. Crying over spillt milk. Nobody is the a hole.
Things happen, and understanding is always needed from both sides. Blame (who is the a-hole) should be avoided at all cost.
Very wise .Life is too precious to complicate it with unnecessary agro .
OMG, 7 minutes in, and I have tears running while laughing so much. This it a great game, Hannah.
Love you both
🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵
Hannah is the A hole... her accident, her emotions going haywire... what could Shane have said or done to help the situation?
Clear A hole in this situation is the wife I'm afraid...
I am so sorry, Hannah. This time, I would have to with Shane. My reason is that when me and my other half has dealt with stuff like that, I would have gotten upset either way with Winston. If I am that upset, nothing he does or says will make it better.
Love you both
🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵
This is me too 😅❤
In Shane’s defense… if Hannah needed him to Google in that moment, she should have asked him to Google! No one is the a$$hôle!
Agreed. She should communicate her needs better in the moment instead of making him feel like an asshole. That definitely would have been more productive than a fight. Maturity will come with time. If you work on it.
Hannah, who is awesome, is clearly the a-hole in this situation.
After having kids and being married for a while, we just call situations like this a “laundry problem.” Messes happen … things are not as important as feelings and relationships. When things get heated, we will call it out as a laundry problem.
Love this! Yes, relationships and feelings are more important. I’m going to take your “laundry problem” and use it myself.
Yes after four kids and a messy hubby Its just "part of life" and pretty meaningless!!
Hannah is the ahole!! It wasn’t anyone’s fault but hers (if you need to think of it as anyone’s “fault”). The logic that it was her hand feeding his mouth is ridiculous! It was a scenario that was very predictable (oil soaked food on a leather couch) and just because she was freaking out doesn’t mean that Shane has to as well. Definitely side with Shane on this one. Call a professional cleaner, they may be able to get it out.
Shane you are not the a**hole. Hannah needed you to remain calm even though she doesn't realise it. But Hannah isn't the a**hole either because she had her hands full and handled it well.
I am of the same opinion as you.
While saying, “What can I do to help?” goes a long way… it’s also ok to let the other person know what you need from them. No assuming and no hard feelings.
This is why I advocate buying pre stained furniture.
😂
Good one 😂
Very funny, 😂😂, Thanks needed funny today🧡
Shane you would be a great lawyer….and comedian! You have my vote I don’t think I have laughed that hard in years! I like the defensive, a bit sarcastic Shane! 😂
How does Hannah look so LA already! You guys seem so happy - maybe the happiest I've ever seen you. I'm starting my own channel soon and you've been such an inspiration!!!! So much love.
Shane is NOT the a-hole. He was in an un-winnable situation in which he was expected to read a woman’s mind. Hannah was still mad even after he explained himself, so she would have been mad no matter what he did. In reality she is mad at herself for spilling the snack.
How is getting mad and snapping at someone "being the only adult" in the room?
As a physically disabled person, when something has gone wrong that I can’t physically help with, it makes me feel a lot of things, mostly just awful.
I go quiet, especially if I can’t physically escape a situation and I feel helpless and less than helpful. I try to make my presence as unobtrusive as possible so I don’t make things worse.
I had to stop listening after some time because it took me back to feeling like this.
My husband knows not to say anything when a mess has been created . You know the saying "no comment from the peanut gallery" this wirks great for us after 43 years of marriage 🤓
Hannah saying “ it was your bite” when they were both eating on the couch cracked me up 😂❤ I think a couch stain sucks but it’s not something to get too stressed over you’re still healthy and safe and have the resources you need to succeed in life. ❤ Shane you should have immediately got on door dash and ordered some baby powder lol now you know for next time 😅
Hannah get ready for greasy finger prints on everything once you have kiddos 😅❤ my nanny kids school uniform is dreadful to wash because of all his little greasy finger prints all over it 😂 same kiddo also vomited on their families white cloth couch twice 😅
Omggg the way Hannah is looking at Shane whilst he explains is hilarious... we may need Heavenly Caregivers after all 😆😅
Shane is not the a-hole. I think if he were to start screaming at you for a dumb move that would be the a-hole.
I am with shane 100%. Shane is not an a-hole. I am calling hannah a slight a-hole. Shanes response to stay calm was correct. Panic often leads to bad decisions and make things worse. Did panic get rid of the stain? 😂😂😂
Agreed
When something like this happens to me I go silent and get into fixing the situation as much I can without talking much.
If I couldn’t physically move or help, I wouldn’t talk unless I am sure I am helping.
Also, I feel like if I was trying to handle the situation physically, I wouldn’t want someone talking at me.
I could see Hannah’s point, but I completely understand Shane’s reaction.
Just a quick tip if you make your Chex treat again. Use a slotted spoon to put the mixture into a big baking pan. Heat your oven to 250 degrees. Bake the mixture for 45 minutes stirring every 15 minutes. No more inches of oil in the bottom of your dish to spill, it is baked into your snack. PS Neither one of you were thinking ahead to carry that bowl in the living room. Neither A-holes, just ding bats. LOL
Funeral humor! lol! On the way to a family members funeral my sister and I realized that none of the pall bearers listed in the bulletin would be present except for my very elderly grandfather. Hilarity ensued as we envisioned grandpa tugging the coffin from the hearse etc, so much so that we left the church parking lot and drove around, even stopping at a store for water to be appropriately solemn when we arrived back at the church. In the end we settled for hoping the tears of laughter would be misinterpreted for tears of grief.
A different day, passing a billboard that read “partial cremation services provided” a similarly lively and hilarious conversation ensued.Who knew partial cremation was a thing!
Siding with Shane....he was calm and cool...and he did the right thing. Speaking up could have ended up making things worse. Some times silence is caring. Such a good guy. It is a couch...a couch. One day it will be, "Remember when..." No one who loves you is going to care about that couch...I'd put a pillow or blanket over it.
So Hannah, you seem to be insisting that SOMEONE has to be labeled an Asshole. Guess you win the title simply for insisting on placing a title/name. What’s wrong with owning making a mistake.
Seems to me Shane you were damned if you do or damned if you don’t. In other words, a married man.
Just came to say: corn starch. Pile it on the oil and leave it for 24 or more hours. Brush off and be amazed.
Hannah was the A-Hole. She is able bodied and can run for the agent to address the oily spill. Good thing it was Hannah's hand that tipped the bowl.
Placement of the bowl is Hannah's responsibility (precarious on the arm of a sofa).
I’m normally with Hannah on things…. But I have to side with Shane on this one. Wasn’t there a story where there was an issue editing a video and Shane was trying to give advice of things to try and Hannah didn’t appreciate that? I can see why he didn’t know how to respond in this situation and probably thought he was doing the best thing.
Regardless, the “snacky snack” baby talk at the beginning felt like an unnecessary dig.
And let it be said…..I normally wouldn’t comment on someone’s personal conflicts, but they did ask AITA 😉
Okay, gotta weigh in... at first I thought Hannah was being unreasonable, but I can now see both sides. Shane's attempt at diffusing the situation failed but it just shows a bad judgement call and not a-hole-ness. Hannah's frustration is valid but she needs to understand that she just has different standards than Shane. I can totally relate to both sides of this situation, though. Shane, like many husbands are told daily by their wives, you just need to care more. 😅
I couldn’t agree more
this episode was so fun! i laughed out loud multiple times. definitely one of the best episodes so far!
I legit spit my drink out with the “caregiver company OR funeral home.” 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Shane should have been googling what to do and telling Chloe to stay away from the oil. Hannah wins for sure on this one 😂
You have to bake the chex! Low and slow. Try 250° for an hour, stirring every 15 minutes. I've never used canola oil, so not sure how much that would change it. :)
I think it would be hilarious if everytime an award is about to be announced you both start getting ready to go up and accept, maybe a tear or 2 being shed😂 love you both!
"nite nite Snacky"......Can't take it.....24 hours I am still laughing over Shane's comments..... Hahahahahaha!
I thorough enjoyed this haha. And with the couch situation, y’all are always learning and growing so next time will be better ❤
Omg I loved the "funeral home or caregivers" game!! Please do it every video!! Btw I was with Shane on those titles!🤷♀️ It was much harder than I anticipated!🤦♀️😂
The game was a fun one! I hope you do the "Business Is What?" game again, I also think that's a good name for it. On AITAH: I'm going to have to say Shane was no way TAH. In Hannah's state of mind anything Shane said would make it worse. Hannah spilled the bowl, Shane is in the clear there. Hannah could have asked Shane to Google the removal ideas. So Sorry Hannah, you are TAH in this situation. You lost your temper & took it out on Shane. I generally like your banter together but it's easy to see you are both strong personalities. Edit: Had this been like a regular Reddit post & written as OP - Am I TAH? Not knowing names or gender of the poster, I'd still say OP is TAH for the same reasons I gave.
This episode was unhinged in the best possible way 🤣 I love y’all lolol
OMG this new game Hannah thought of was HILARIOUS !!! The fact that she found/thought of the similarities in names of caregiving companies and funeral homes is so witty!! LOVED IT
Hey, saying it with love and all good Vibes, since we are playing the reddit game. Hanna is the A hole. Shane is not the a hole. Shane has the right to not be reading hanna's mind, as to if the situation is an emotions problem or a problem solving thing. Hanna should not assume Shane can read her mind, and should instead find a way to comunicate which time of problem it is, so Shane can be helpful the way Hanna needs it. It really seems Shane does care, but cannot read minds
My other theory is that Shane really wanted to physically help, but couldn't, and was verbally frozen because he didn't know what to do. Again, neither is the asshole.
Shane is not the A-hole at all! Hahahaha! I do understand Hannah's point because I am just like that with my husband hahahaha!! I break or spill something and I get mad at him hahahaha! But, yeah, I don't think Shane is the A-hole! He actually was right to stay silent for a moment and let you calm down a bit. Actually, I even think that he was more "an adult" that Hannah in that moment though! Hahahaha! but, no shade! Accidents happen! It is nobody's fault :D
I am with Shane. being calm about a stain is better than freaking out. Shane is not an A-hole neither is Hannah, she just over reacted to the situation. Great episode!!!
Shane is not the Ahole...But neither is Hannah...There was no Ahole in this situation...in my humble opinion..
Married woman for almost 10 years, relationship for 13 years. I have some thoughts.
Hannah,
1. Replace "two adults should have thought..." with "it would have been better if..." The "should have" is a cognitive distortion and is a common thought pattern for people who have anxiety/anxious thoughts. (Side note: I have two degrees in Psychology and working on my third. I do have credentials and feel qualified to make that comment.)
2. Accidents happen. It's ok. There doesn't have to be a person to blame. What's important is that you learn from those accidents and mistakes.
3. Having negative feelings about spilling oil everywhere is ok. It's a perfectly valid feeling. Taking out that frustration on your husband, not the best response. Telling him "I feel like I'm the only adult in the house" knowing that he has a history of people treating him like a child was very mean and uncalled for. I'm not saying that YOU are mean, but that behavior was mean. It's obvious to those of us who having been watching for a while that you see him as a smart, capable adult, and that comment was probably geared toward the fact that he didn't respond the way you wanted him to as opposed to actually seeing him as a child, but it was still mean.
4. It's important to communicate how your partner could best support you in a stressful situation (and it seems like you do). It's important to have these conversations regularly. There are going to be stressful situations that are more typical, then there will be situations that you didn't predict or prepare for. That's ok. Neither one of you are going to respond the best way in the moment. That's ok. What's important is to talk about what you feel like would be helpful in that moment and why you think so after both of you calm down, then both of you forgive yourselves and each other.
5. I do think Shane brought up a valid point. In the past, when he has tried to "help" by coming up with suggestions, you got mad at him. In this moment, he tried to help by being calm, you got mad at him. I can see how in his mind, there was no winning. You were frustrated (which is understandable), and you took it out on him (which is not understandable). It's not fair to your partner to have a perfect response in mind of how you think they should respond in a moment that doesn't happen very often, then get mad at your partner for failing to read your mind to respond exactly how you think they should respond.
This leads me to Shane. Shane,
1. As you know, trying to solve someone's problems in the moment of frustration is not helpful. I think it's good that you listen to Hannah by not trying to immediately solve her problem. Being silent while Hannah's freaking out, i can see your logic there. I think having a brief moment of silence followed by, "how can i help" might have worked better.
2. "It's not a big deal" comes across as dismissive in general, and definitely not a good thing to say out loud when your partner is panicking.
3. In moments like this, all logic and rationality goes out the door. And no, that's not because Hannah's a woman. That's not a woman thing. That's a human thing. "How can i help? I love you. We will get through this. I'm here for you," that's helpful in the moment. But ask Hannah what she thinks about those comments first before applying them.
My final comments, you two seem like a happy and loving couple. You're still learning how to communicate. That's ok. That's a life long process. No one is the asshole here. Just a normal couple continuing the process of learning how to be a couple.
I realize that my whole comment might come across as unsolicited advice, and that no one will probably read this.
I was trying to respond to the AITA by saying no one is the asshole, and giving my reasoning as to why. But also, as a person who has been married for a while and as a person who enjoys watching your content with my husband (we watch your videos together and pause to discuss our thoughts throughout the videos), I felt like I wanted to give a little more just in case you or anyone else reads this, I how my response could be helpful.
I like the word "flusterly".... I laughed so much during this episode! Omg, you guys are awesome 🌺
As far as your fight, I understand Shane’s conundrum. When you can’t honestly do anything to help, it’s hard to know what to do. Sometimes it’s just better to be quiet and stay out of the way when there is nothing you can physically do to help. I agree he could have helped with the Googling. (By the way, cornstarch? Do you have that in your kitchen? I can’t imagine Dawn would be really helpful since it doesn’t help to have liquid on the leather) However, I am older than you both added together and I still have moments of “WHERE ARE ALL THE GROWNUPS????” in times of crisis. It can be paralyzing. Maybe that was Shane’s problem, not that he was an asshole but that he was so paralyzed by the realization that there is no other adult in the home.
I think neither. I totally understand Hannah being upset about their nice new furniture being stained, and shane saying "its fine just put a pillow over it" would make me mad in that situation. He probably should've offered suggestions for how to clean it up, but I get that he was trying to stay calm and not stress her out even more.
Shane wasn't the a-hole. No a-holes in this story. This story illustrates some big differences between men and women. Hannah is reasoning with her emotions. Shane was trying his best and gets no credit for it. He was not doing emotional reasoning. He was actually trying to remember how to be supportive in a situation where Hannah is upset. He didn't get it right. Oops. Time to endure the wrath. Which he does with his usual aplomb and humor. You two are adorable.
I was on a history tour in Philly run by this hostel employee, and he took us to an orphan graveyard next to a daycare playground. Then he took us around the corner and the name of the daycare was in fact Little Angels.
I love Maintenance Phase too! Your version of the game is so good 😂😂😂
Shane is not an AH. It is not easy to know what to do when emotions are high about something. There are many paths one can take and quiet support is not unreasonable to me. Another of option is to
ask. “ How can I best support you or this situation right now?”
People before things. To attach labels to someone for reacting differently to an incident related to damage to an object is counterproductive
I don’t think either of you are the a hole. I understand the silence from Shane and totally get how Hannah felt overwhelmed.
You can’t read one another’s mind but instead live and learn about one another and in the future meet in the middle.
And show one another grace in these situations.
Regarding the couch, cushions get stains 🤷♀Maybe you can contact the manufacturer to get replacement cushions or cushion covers. Hypothetical Freaks is my FAVORITE segment/game that I've learned from you. It is right up my alley and I "play" on my own if I have something coming up that makes me anxious. It's such a great tool hahaha.
No a holes. Just a moment of mishandling a situation by both
I got an image of Shane speeding down the red carpet with Hannah standing tall on the back of the chair, with her gown flowing in the wind, shouting"He's the A-hole!"
"I think if you look into your hearts...you will find that... my wife is a monster." 😂
My husband and I have been married for 27yrs. We’ve definitely had situations similar to this. I MUCH PREFER my husband to be present and quiet. I’m not calling Hannah an AHole bc I love her. But I don’t think Shane was either. It’s tough knowing what to do sometimes. And serving each other is a learning process. You two are doing a Great Job ❤
I totally understand what Shane is saying . I understand why he stayed quiet. It’s not his fault that the bowl was nocked over. I don’t think it should have turned into a fight . I totally understand you being upset about the couch but I feel that you took your anger out on him and that’s not right. It was an accident . I’m sure he felt horrible and probably felt bad that he couldn’t help you clean the couch.
There is a time for handing out business cards - and it's not at an awards show. (We didn't invite one particular person to our wedding because we KNEW they would hand out business cards.)
Before Shane said his reasoning I felt that he was coming from a compassionate attitude of trying to be a calming presence in the situation. I can relate to both sides.
Its crazy to say its partially Shanes fault. Its like next door to blaming his physical condition on him and that he requires assistance eating in the first place. Hannah takes the ahole if one MUST be labeled as such! (I do hate accidentally ruining shit, especially expensive shit and I certainly can empathize in regards to emotions going haywire in the moment.) Looking forward to next weeks episode after you guys have a chance to read the comments lol Love you!
Love this game. You two are so made for each other.
You two are so adorable even when you quarrel. Welcome to having a healthy marriage. It's okay! I understand both of your views.
OK hearing you listen to maintenance phase just makes me love y'all so much more! The best podcast.
That game was so great Hannah! Do some more again another time 😂
Here's a suggestion: Shane, when you find yourself in a similar situation, instead of guessing what Hannah wants, maybe ask her, "Do you want me to help you or do you want me to listen right now?" Hannah, if you want Shane to do something, ask him. (33 years of marriage and I'm still not great at this, but it does help.) Also, when Hannah is upset about something, acknowledge she's upset, even if you don't see it as a problem. The bottom line is, it's bugging her. Then you can move on to a solution or de-escalating the situation. No a-holes here; just two people learning how to communicate in a tense situation.
“I’m ready for my night night snacky!” 😂 I am laughing so hard here bc Shane kept going!! Sooo funny guys!! Thanks for the laughs!! This video displays that you guys are the real deal! ❤️ I love it! Bottom line….no oil ever again by the couch! I’m thinking this episode goes down in the books as one of the best ever! Also, to dnd with the awards was so funny!!! Love you guys!
“It’s just stuff”is my motto. Love you both 🥰
Not the AHole Shane, just a typical husband😅
At home funerals are definitely a thing. That was the norm in the U.S. up until the early 1900's, and still is in some places. The practice is gaining popularity again because home funerals can be more easily customized to fit the individual's wants and needs, and they are generally less expensive. Hannah's game reminded me of one of my favorite "this or that" games, which is Tolkien elf or prescription medicine.
No asshole here. But I love that after the fact Hannah was able to say in that moment it really would have helped to have support and described her needs. That is great communication. I loved it. Now next time when Shane tries to solve the problem I can't wait to hear how that goes😂😂.❤❤❤
Aww, since Hannah was in charge, I was really hoping for a Dumpster Dive!
Still a great episode, as always.
But Shane was definitely NOT the a-hole. 😏