How do you find friends who want to accommodate? The only people i meet are so wrapped up in themselves that they don't even notice anything going on around them.
Pleassseee tell me! I must stop the madness of calling them my friend. They always seem friendly and nice right away upon meeting. So how do I find out they suck? Well, the only way! The hard way! 😅
As a Dyspraxic, a few things that I try to make all of my friends aware of are; a) not to be offended or assume that I'm upset/uncomfortable if I remain silent in larger group conversations, b) expect long periods of silence from me during any conversation, again it doesn't mean anything negative, and c) don't assume that I can use stairs/escalators just because I'm relatively fit and healthy.
I feel less alone - I'm also the person who showed up to a party at 8, which is when they said it started. No one else showed up for 2 hours. Why the heck would people do this? If the party starts at 10, say that the party starts at 10! OMG. Sounds like you've got some excellent friends. Thank you for the video!
i'm so glad you have friends that support you like that! it made such a difference to me to have friends who accommodated me - even the most basic stuff, like not getting angry with me when i was too anxious to do something, or not laughing at me if i didn't understand a joke or some other subtle social thing. just recently i asked a friend if we could move our conversation somewhere quieter and he was just like "yep" and we moved and it wasn't a big deal. he's also autistic, so he gets it, but i think he's also the kind of person who would try to accommodate me even if our experiences and diagnoses were very different - i mean, i have evidence of that in that i'm trans and he's cis and he doesn't just gender me correctly but he specifically does things to ensure other people do too and he avoids things that cause me dysphoria even if they wouldn't technically be considered misgendering. have you had any experiences (that you're comfortable sharing) with having conflicting needs? i'm really struggling with this atm - the aforementioned friend has a really hard time with texting and generally doesn't respond to stuff, sometimes taking a month to get back to me regardless of the topic (eg "here's a funny meme" and "i'm having an awful night, are you free to talk?" are both ignored for equal amounts of time). it makes me extremely anxious, especially when i really need support from my closest friends during mental health flare ups, but at the same time he's often very busy and due to his adhd has a hard time with messaging, so in theory i should be accommodating him by not expecting quick responses. i'm not sure how to navigate it (and it's not the only example, just the one that's bothered me the most) because as things are i'm often very stressed and upset by not hearing from him, but if he forced himself to respond to me quicker then that would *him* stressed and upset and i don't want that either.
Same here...I am just so much like you.I think i also am autistic.going to find out.have to find possibility to test it,omg..thanks for your description 🙏
The getting to the party on time.... YES. Just yes.
How do you find friends who want to accommodate? The only people i meet are so wrapped up in themselves that they don't even notice anything going on around them.
Yuuup😅
Pleassseee tell me! I must stop the madness of calling them my friend. They always seem friendly and nice right away upon meeting. So how do I find out they suck? Well, the only way! The hard way! 😅
If your friends are asking you: "What can we do to help you" KEEP THEM IN YOUR LIFE FOREVER
(Late diagnosed Autistic/Severe ADHD)
Yea, consider yourself lucky/blessed.
I haven't had any friends in about 15 years. . . It gets lonely.
Yuuh😮
@@IAmJustFluxindeed it does get that
The main accomodation I would ask for is listening to what I say. I generally say what I need but some people ignore me.
As a Dyspraxic, a few things that I try to make all of my friends aware of are; a) not to be offended or assume that I'm upset/uncomfortable if I remain silent in larger group conversations, b) expect long periods of silence from me during any conversation, again it doesn't mean anything negative, and c) don't assume that I can use stairs/escalators just because I'm relatively fit and healthy.
I feel less alone - I'm also the person who showed up to a party at 8, which is when they said it started. No one else showed up for 2 hours. Why the heck would people do this? If the party starts at 10, say that the party starts at 10! OMG.
Sounds like you've got some excellent friends. Thank you for the video!
i'm so glad you have friends that support you like that! it made such a difference to me to have friends who accommodated me - even the most basic stuff, like not getting angry with me when i was too anxious to do something, or not laughing at me if i didn't understand a joke or some other subtle social thing. just recently i asked a friend if we could move our conversation somewhere quieter and he was just like "yep" and we moved and it wasn't a big deal. he's also autistic, so he gets it, but i think he's also the kind of person who would try to accommodate me even if our experiences and diagnoses were very different - i mean, i have evidence of that in that i'm trans and he's cis and he doesn't just gender me correctly but he specifically does things to ensure other people do too and he avoids things that cause me dysphoria even if they wouldn't technically be considered misgendering.
have you had any experiences (that you're comfortable sharing) with having conflicting needs? i'm really struggling with this atm - the aforementioned friend has a really hard time with texting and generally doesn't respond to stuff, sometimes taking a month to get back to me regardless of the topic (eg "here's a funny meme" and "i'm having an awful night, are you free to talk?" are both ignored for equal amounts of time). it makes me extremely anxious, especially when i really need support from my closest friends during mental health flare ups, but at the same time he's often very busy and due to his adhd has a hard time with messaging, so in theory i should be accommodating him by not expecting quick responses. i'm not sure how to navigate it (and it's not the only example, just the one that's bothered me the most) because as things are i'm often very stressed and upset by not hearing from him, but if he forced himself to respond to me quicker then that would *him* stressed and upset and i don't want that either.
Aw you gave me new reasons to love my friends 😊
I'm continually amazed with how fluently you can speak, but even more so when you do it with a cat tail in your face!
THANK YOU for this ♥️
Brilliant video idea! Love your insights ❤
Same here...I am just so much like you.I think i also am autistic.going to find out.have to find possibility to test it,omg..thanks for your description 🙏
Yeea😊
Do you feel like you have a richer inner social life than it feels on the outside?