Combating Narrowboat Loneliness. S3 Ep21
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- Опубликовано: 15 сен 2024
- The winter nights don't necessarily fly by. They're long and drawn out which affects my feelings of loneliness on the narrowboat. I show what I do to combat those feelings. Happiness and laughter are key.
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Loneliness is a state of mind Chris, not where you live - you can be lonely in a room full of people.
You’re right Rob. My mind is fine. I’m not mad I just wanted to put it out there. Some like it and it depends on a lot of how you have lived and the effect that has had on you. I’m sharing all my ghosts on the tube to explain. Thanks for the comment and support Rob.
I find loneliness is in the mind… I too get lonely from time to time and I live in a 3000 sq ft house. I find having three dogs combats that! I do talk to them, so maybe I’m a little crazy… 😂😂😂😂😂😂. On another note, maybe don’t listen to me… 😂😂😂😂
Chris living on your own has its pros and cons I live in a flat with my little dog sometimes I love the solitude sometimes I feel so lonely having just recently split from my husband . I think it’s good to express your views and feelings
@debbierennox931 sorry to read about the separation. Always hard to adjust regardless of the circumstances. I know I’m strong enough to cope Debbie, but I want to make life better. That means coming to terms with how I’m going to deal with it that’s right for me. We all do it differently but the importance is dealing with it. Have a great week.
@shawnaforte6694 I think having all your dogs will keep you going. I’d talk to them all too, but having a dog right now isn’t the right time for me. Another tie that I’m not in the right space for. Thanks for the comment and enjoy your week.
There is a joy in relative solitude in my life, to be sure. I'm gregarious when I am in a social situation, but a lot of my life has been spent in situations where I'm isolated away from everyone--plowing a field on a tractor when I was a teen, baling hay, driving a farm truck to take wheat or corn or soybeans from the field to the co-op... Then again, I can feel alone in a crowd, or at a party, or whatnot. In my 66 years, I was nearly always very socially awkward, until I reached the age where I was comfortable with myself. Once I reached that point, I could enjoy both solitude and company equally. I found that once the internet came along, I could be comfortable with online friends, then became comfortable with people around me offline as well. The turning point seems to have been when I became comfortable being me, alone or in company. Nothing to prove to anyone, being me regardless of the situation. It's an odd form of maturity, to be sure, but it suits me. Everyone is different, yet very much the same in a generalized sense. We all crave some sort of social life, yet at the same time we all value our private times. Damn... This turned very philosophical, LOL! In any case, you have many friends who may not be able to physically visit with you, but we value the time we get to spend with you VIA your blogs, just the same.
Brilliant response. Being comfortable in one’s skin is the key
Hello, you lone Captain! Love your Video~Logbook!
Do you know Yello Submarine: a psychodelic Cartoon done by the Beatles in the late 1960's... I found IT on DVD~
I deeply Love that Movie: ,Not only cause I'm named after one of the Charakters that JUMP round in this Film ~ It's the concept/book behind the Pictures that helps /thrills me!
So if you would apriciate a interesting Film (Cartoon ) & some great "Oldies" ~
Let IT roll & Turn Up the sound🎉🎉
One of the Tunes:
Look @ all the lonely people~
Where do they all come from?...
❤your thoughts!
t.out of Berlin(43,5m3)flat for 37 years, raising 5 KIDS ...
Thanks for the comment Dan. Everyone is different and one size doesn’t fit all. I get where your coming from. I masked behaviours when I first entered the military. I then didn’t need to try too hard as it became natural to put on a uniform and become the persona. Now the uniform has gone and I’m learning to be me again. It takes time. For 37 years years I’ve learnt to be someone who behaves in a certain way to make stuff happen. Have a persona that can back that up with force if required. To deliver extreme force when doing a job requires a certain type of person. Not sure I’m that but can do it when required. I’m learning to fit a new mould with no-one to bounce off. It’ll happen.
@thomashandschuh8476 - Eleanor Rigby I believe.
You are doing well and a huge thank you, your laughter is infectious and had us in fits, great Vlog Chris 👏👏👍❤️
Thanks Jacquline. Have a great week. I’ll do a bit more of Insta filming over Christmas. Have a great week.
What a laugh you have, brilliant. I have watched that first dancing couple you showed for a while now, she is brilliant! Great vlog Chris. Best wishes Christine x
There is another dancer. I’ll show it on a future vlog. She does it for me as she has the smile and the look that is just so…..Thanks Christine. Have a great week.
Understand your loneliness concerns, actual personal eye to eye and conversations are important. Ive worked in very remote locations in the past and also had some experiences of this. Media connections can be a great help but eye to eye is better, and we all need a hug sometimes. 😊
Thanks Dave. Totally agree. Enjoy your week.
I really enjoy your videos. You're great on camera and love your chats. I am new to boat life and I love being on my own on it but I do get it, I like to get out and chat to people. 💛🙏
I hope you enjoy the boaty life. Have a great week and thanks for the support.
Hi Chris, Been a busy day. Now sit down with mug of tea with Chris. Be Happy Chris. Your Great😎X🐰x
Thank you for your kind support Julie. Have a great week.
Brilliant Chris, thank you.
Thank you Jo. Have a great week.
Cat videos are the best Chris... Gr8 vlog as always 👍
I’m fascinated how they get the cats to stay still and perform. Thanks for the comment Robert.
Laughter really is the best medicine. So totally agree. Endorphines and seratonin real chemicals brought about by laughing. Have a fabulous weekend. As always thanks for a personal and informative vlog that always get's us thinking. Love your channel 😊😊
Thanks Veronica. More of those short clips to come over the Christmas period. have a great week.
I get ya.. in the same boat. No pun intended! Though it can be lonely, I look at it as.. so was my house that was bigger! Least the boat cozy & less to rattle round in! Can say feel calmer on a boat than on land of late.
The practicality of a boat being smaller is better on the pocket that’s for sure. I constrains how much clutter is on the boat too. Although I’m sure there are many boats that appear at first glance to make a lot of extra stuff on them. I too am calmer. Thanks for the support.
Yep. I sold near everything and live pretty minimally now. Tidy boat, tidy mind 😂
So lovely to see you laugh. It's infectious. I have always felt on the outside of life. I feel more comfortable in my skin as I have gotten older. I am lucky to have found my soulmate late on in life, but I had been on my own for 10 years prior to that and I was ok with it. It took me most of my adult life to learn what type of person could make me happy and in doing so I found I had a better relationship with myself.
I believe loneliness allows us to find the real you. I have had to mask my personality to fit the role of the job I had. I’ve now become that person but need to change back to who I really am. I’m struggling with that change. I like aspects of the old me and need to find the new me. I’m getting there. Thanks for the support Susan. Have a great week.
@@chrismears-inslowtime If there were no difficulties there would be no success; if there were nothing to struggle for, there would be nothing to be achieved. A life without self growth is not a life well lived
Happiness can be elusive. Having struggled with depression in the past, I've discovered that happiness is one of those multifaceted states of being that can range from satisfaction, to contentment in the moment, to rolling-in-the-aisles hilarity. There are so many ways to occupy the mind, and all of those diversions somehow contribute to well-being. One of my personal goals is to have a meaningful conversation with somebody every day, and many days I actually accomplish that. Quite often, the kind of happiness I get from such exchanges is delight, because that other person has said something that I couldn't have anticipated. That's probably what makes good long term friendships--active and inquisitive minds that can bounce new ideas off one another. I think you're on the right track in finding amusements, even if they seem trivial. In terms of the reaction they elicit, of course they are never really trivial. The one thing I have found to be helpful is to maintain a general daily habit, but to do something on the spur of the moment if I am feeling like depression may be looming over the horizon. Even setting small challenges and solving problems provides food for thought and keeps the mind healthy.
All of that makes sense Peter. My only answer to all the above is that you are static so know where to look. Often, being in a new place takes a slight adjustment. All this RUclips stuff takes time out of my day which for me means I’m concentrating on creating instead of enjoy. I enjoy what I do, but I dont get the full appreciation of living the water life. That said, I’m never bored and get out to do the filming. Ying and Yang comes to mind. Thanks for the support Peter. Have a great week.
Thanks.Have a great week.
Thank you Greg. I appreciate the additional support. Have a great week.
well lad
this episod is right up there
with your finest
Brilliant !!
now, someone go get that straightjacket 😂
I’ve asked Father Crimbo to get one and post it down the chimney. Thankfully it wont fit. Catch up soon mate.
Real honesty is hard to find on a youtube channal. Really great to find a grown up person talking about his everyday life.just thinking you are a great chap Sir. 😊
Thank you for you support. I appreciate it. Have a great week.
Your not alone mate, how many subscribers and patrons do you have? You are gifted and a good example to many how to self survive. Self awareness is the key, knowing your limitations and capabilities half the battle. ❤
I no longer worry about the subscribers and don’t have any Patrions as although I have a page, it’s not live. I might just delete it. It appears all a bit too much effort and don’t want to lower the standard of the weekly vlogs because of it. The views and subscribers now is just a measure that I keep track of. It’s taken a while to learn that though. Thanks for the comment and support. Have a great week.
You help with my loneliness. I actually prefer time on my own in my boat but do get that knawing, burning feeling in my stomach sometimes. And when I watch you, it goes away a bit! And makes me laugh :)
So thanks :)
That’s very kind Andy. Thank you. I spoke to a fella today on the phone who said much the same thing. I think most solo boaters get it, but you have to be a solo boater to understand. Thats the discussion I had today. Have a great week Andy and thanks for the comment. I’m really pleased to help you in a really small way.
@@chrismears-inslowtime I think we all (solo boaters) get it mate. Really. And all deal with it in our own ways. It's a pay off. But for as long as the amazing benefits still continue to outweigh the occasional bout of loneliness, this is the life for me :)
Haven’t laughed so much in a long, long time …… 🤣 Didn’t expect to be doing that at the start of your video. You’ll be just fine Chris. …..
Missed your videos , been away working. I'll catch up with the last couple of months. I'm in the Merchant navy and constantly have crew members at hand for a chat if needed , also knowing some one is always just a few feet away from me has made me think about your subject. When I come home I'm with my partner and I'm rarely on my own, which I do need. Lifes never straight forward and that's what makes it special, if we could have a little bit of every thing then how long would you feel that things lacked purpose or focus. I find that challenging ones self to try new things can help with Loneliness. Keep your chin up chris and keep these amazing videos coming, a great insight into life. Thank you.
Thanks for the comment and support. Being on a ship with a few people is all you need I think. That said, it would be useful to get along with them. But it’s the daily interaction that I was used to and no longer getting that has hit me. Also, the need to move every two weeks also has a down side. Have a great week and thanks for watching.
Grasshoppers are are confused by sayings, grasshopper.whooch !
Love your honesty. I have gone past the lonely and in that dangerously independent territory of being happy in my own company.
Try Journaling. I start with it a year ago and I"m in a much better place. Keep laughing it's good to see...😊
Thanks for your support Mags. I think the RUclips thing is much the same as journaling and to be honest it takes up a lot of my time as it is. I get writing a journal has other benefits in that you can write ALL your thoughts down. Clearly I dont do that in vlogs. Laughter is the key. Thanks for the comment. Have a great week.
Your mate is a quick learner, he did the locks and steering the boat really well. Nice to have a bit of good company, always gives the spirits a lift. PS your laugh is classic. I also roll up at funny animal videos
Thanks Julie. All those short clips add variety and some really funny stuff people put out adds to my happiness. There are some really funny people out there. They are more influential than most of the ‘influencers’.
Speaking lights.....Chris,Chris, Chris... Please cover that ceiling backlight in the intro. It's an awful distraction. Love your humor, feel your pain.
I get the distraction. I try. It’s hard enough when I want to be spontaneous to mask off all the lights so not to be a distraction. It’s a home and not a studio. RUclips filming is a challenge and more so when when space is a very limiting factor. I try to film during the daylight to reduce the distractions. Those who live with someone can point the camera so the distractions are negated. If i do all the correct stuff, Ive forgotten what I want to say. Just a little insight. Lazy perhaps…but there’s a fine line between making a home a studio for film making and living. I hope you understand that Eddy. Thanks nevertheless. I try.
Chris I am laughing and I don’t know what you are laughing about. You have a great laugh. Take care. X
Thanks Caroline. Look up Squeeky Chicken feet on Insta. You’ll see a group on Chinamen playing a game. Thanks for the comment and enjoy the men from China. So funny.
Watching your vlog Chris has given me pause for reflection on a topic that is near to me. The way you are engaged with friends and the way you draw other interests gives me pause for consideration. As a person who enjoys lively company at times, I do enjoy time of being alone. Being alone and loneliness in my view are different, and I appreciate you sharing your journey. Sorry about your gf. Or maybe time to celebrate.. life
Thanks John. I appreciate the support. I like company and I like my own. It’s just the way living this life on a narrowboat when there is more hours of darkness has a strange effect. One thing that goes wrong on the boat has an impact beyond what it does in a house. I must discuss this one day on Sunday.
Your life in the army was like having a big family, so I can understand why you feel the way you do. I lived by myself for 17 years and had my moments of loneliness, but I got used to it . I'm not as social as you, but I you will find your way. 😊🇳🇿
The longer I live by myself the easier it will get I’m sure. It won’t mean I’ll like it necessarily but they are just moments. Thanks Mike. Have a great week.
I like being by myself, yet also get lonely. I've found my morris dancing and the laughter we regularly succumb too means I enjoy my time alone better. Out on the bike or now in my wee campervan. About the same size as a king sized bed and not much more. But all I need (kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, the lounge is outside) to get out and explore! And now I'm not alone. One large ginger puss has claimed me for his own. Presently keeping my lap warm and sending my legs to sleep! Thank you for your video and thoughts!.
I’m pleased you have have interests that take you away from the everyday life. I used to do that, although the camper van I only thought about. Perhaps, if I had a house a camper an might be the next step. For now, its a boat and until I win the lottery, a boat is where I’ll have to stay. Thanks for the comment and support. Enjoy your week.
Chris i live alone and love it, the loneliest i have ever been was when i was married, but there again i have felt lonely in every relationship since 😂 i threw the towel in 4 years ago, enough is enough, I am happy, independent and love life. I did consider selling the house and buying a boat but im afraid it wouldn't make financial sense, so i follow you and one or two other boaters instead. Thanks so much for your entertaining vlogs ... keep smiling Chris 😊
Totally get it Jayne. I know someone in a marriage who I think is lonely. Nice house but if shared with someone who isn’t right…anymore…it is hard to make the break. I’m pleased it’s all worked out for you and the financial side always makes sense. Thanks for choosing to watch me waffling on. Have a great week.
After being in the forces like yourself,from being surrounded by your mates day in day out living side by side,moving back to civvy street can be hard which i think is why a lot of ex military struggle,humans are not made to be alone,great vlog Chris
Thanks James. I totally agree. I had a call from an ex mil fella today who said much the same thing. IT’s somehow different from a house. I get people are lonely in houses too but this life is different because it is off grid. It is just different that is difficult to articulate. I’ll give that a go on a Sunday…soon.
Hi Chris , ordinarily I would agree with the previous comment I too have been very lonely amongst other people. However I might be about to change my opinion as I be just bought a Narrowboat and will be joining you all on the canals in the new year ( soon as weather allows me on to the K&A). Like you I ve been planing this for many years and I retire at Christmas so the dream has now become reality.. keep the vids coming your doing a brill job of selling the reality of living on a Narrowboat..
I was talking to a fella yesterday. Like me, spent a long time in the military. It is different living in a boat. Not sure how to articulate it but I’m going to try at some stage on a Sunday. It’s down to cause and effect. If something goes wrong, it can always be fixed but i think the effect is compounded because there isn’t the infra on the canals like there is on land. It causes anxiety. Anxiety causes you to think differently causing loneliness. That’s the short version. Enjoy the lifestyle when it arrives.
Have to say i loved seeing you so happy on the bow of your boat , i live on my own in a 3 bedroom house with my two rescue dogs and have never felt lonely i have just sold my house and im in the process of purchasing a 55ft narrowboat so it will be interesting to see if i get lonely on a boat compared to a house
Good luck with the boaty malarkey Nathan. It will be interesting to see how you think it’s different. It may not be. You have dogs, so as someone said, I need routine. I don’t have one because I Tube. Dogs need routine. A dog will constrain my life. I get the company thing but it’s not the same as human company. It’s sometimes better I know but….
Have a great week.
@@chrismears-inslowtime yes a dog is a big commitment as in you can just up and go on holiday for a few days where as I can't etc also iv been thinking I wonder if your loneliness is partly because when you were in the military you were always surrounded by people and I presume you would have had a close group of military colleagues who became friends which could be why your feeling lonely on the boat because you understandably miss having that
@@nathanberry4339 I had a chat in the week with someone of similar working background. That could be the key. Pervious life is generally the route cause to most problems in life.
@@chrismears-inslowtime I think you'll be ok and get used to it adapt and survive as they say , I retired early at 40 to start my dream life and weirdly I do miss my job I think it's a common condition to miss what we have grown a custom to
@@chrismears-inslowtime sorry I retired at 39 in time for my 40th next year to start my new narrowboat life hehe
Regarding the locks, I’d tell them you’re mooring up for lunch or similar and let them get ahead. Then carry on.
As it happened that’s what they did. We only had one more lock to do so we had extra time and went to the pub. Ended up a good day. Thanks for the comment.
😂😅😊😂👍"Squeaky ducks on China mans feet makes me laugh every time I see it....
Be well Chris.
I laughed when I read this. You actually knew what I was laughing at. They are so so funny. I love the fact that despite the media, there are people in China who appear to have the same sense of humour and do the same antics. They are brilliant. Thanks for the comment Chunky. I’m smiling as I write. Good man
Great vid Chris nice to see you laughing at the end it made me titter, I can imagine life on your boat is lonely at times, but at least you are aware of it and your taking practical steps to overcome it. You have a great life on the boat, admittedly it's not for everyone but you seem to be enjoying life, your days on the canal present many tasks for you to do which keep you busy and physically active too, It can be difficult to realise that you have retired, my retirement was forced upon me (ill health) my life felt like it was finished overnight but life goes on and we have just got to make the most of what we have, my wife of 33 years is a great help but I miss being with the lads, working the banter etc, but hey ohh no use crying is it, as one door closes another one opens..... as always take care and all the best mate - Paul 👍
Thanks Paul. Spot on. Lovely to have the same person for 33 years to share life with. Mutual support cannot be underestimated. Have a great week.
Laughter is infectious Chris, thanks for sharing. Remember that people can be lonely in houses too, especially at this time of the year.
I walked past a pop-up tent with a person inside. I imaging what they are feeling at this time of year particularly when the frost and sub zero temps are starting to happen. At least I’m secure and warm. Thanks Ann.
I’ve been on my 42’ trad for 24 years “on my own”… yes it can get to you if you let it but I try not to let it. Obviously Winter is the worst time because of the short days and cold weather but to be honest I just watch a movie or RUclips in the evenings and time flies by. I do odd jobs during the day on the boat “ there’s always something to fix or replace” especially on my old Trad. I’m not really a people person and I don’t take fools gladly so I’m probably better off away from crowds. It’s all in the mind….👍🏻
Like you I don’t suffer fools but I am a people’s person. Just the right type of person for me. That by the way is wide ranging. It’s about quality. I don’t suffer loneliness all the time but thought it would be useful to share my thoughts as I was at the time of making that vid. Always busy and that is just boat jobs let alone the amount of time I spend doing these vids. Thanks for the comment and have a great week.
You've got a larf an' a half, Ole Son! Did me good watching you laughing. Thoughtful vlog. Thanks Chris.
Thanks Malcolm. I do like a good laugh. Have a great week.
I can’t believe I’m watching you looking at the same things I do on my boat at night. Love it mate
Great minds …..thanks for the comment and have a great week.
What an infectious laugh you have. Wush my other half would laugh more. He retired 2 years ago and has no mates so to him its similar situation. Shame he doesn't have mate like you! Carry on laughing! and keep happy.
Make him try Insta or the Tic Tok thing. It took me a fair while to understand how it all works but when the algorithm works, there are just some really funny stuff. A comment by Chunky knew what I was laughing at. He recognised the sounds. Squeaky chicken feet with a chinaman on top. So So funny. I’m laughing as I write because to me…it’s brilliant. Thanks for the comment Sandra. Enjoy.
Very interesting vlog. Do you feel the loneliness feeling can come from claustrophobic feelings from the limited width of a narrowboat ? When I was looking I found some layouts hid that limitation but the widebeams do feel like your on land in size and they don’t rock about. Something I am not a fan of. Pity as I love the narrow canals so much more. Social media. It’s great and a time eater for me. It’s funny. It’s scarey. It’s saucy. It’s a friend. And it gives you your friends from around the world as if they’re there with you.
Have a good week Chris every best wish.
To question 1. Yes. There is a totally different feel to a wide beam boat. Agree with all the social media thing to a point. I can control this platform better as I’m not ‘friends’ as such like on the book of faces. I’ll cut someone down in a heartbeat on this platform from the comments and wont think twice about it. On FB, less so. I share less there than I do here. It’s at times easier to talk to a stranger. Thanks Trevor. Have a great week and take care.
@@chrismears-inslowtime very very true Chris. Yes indeed. I do give peeps one chance on RUclips. And on fb very different yet tt I’ll argue the toss with someone lol. Maybe it’s me age lol. Best wishes Chris
Excellent episode. I'm about a year behind you in boating terms so joy for me is for the fire still to be lit in the morning and the boat to be still above water :) I know I've a lot to learn and I love the fact that I can watch your vlogs and imagine myself dealing with daily life on the cut because as you said on this video 'If he can do it...' then it helps me to believe that I can too. Loneliness is something I felt in the house I lived in before I bought the boat, one that I'd lived in for twenty years, raised a family in, had a fabulous relationship in, and thought I'd probably be in until my time was up and the grim reaper came a knockin'. Unfortunately the grim reaper did come a knockin' but for my other half four years ago. After that, rightly, the kids have grown up and are making their own lives for themselves which I absolutely love because that was always the aim but that left me lonely, in a house that while it held many happy memories also held some awful ones. Hence the boat. On here, yes I'd love to share the life with someone, but I don't get as lonely because I don't live surrounded by four walls that echo with the sounds of a past life I wish I could still be living. It is so individual, loneliness and affects us all so differently and in different circumstances but it was great to see you tackling what is an important issue particularly in men over a certain age.
Lovely comment, meant in the best way. I’m so sorry to read of the loss of your wife. There was real emotion in the comment. I’m pleased that all is working out for you and you’re enjoying your life. Thanks Graham.
Chris, you are, in many ways, like the rest of us. When you first started boating, EVERYTHING was new and interesting, which distracted you from being alone. You have made a few friends along the way, but there are thousands more possible friends from whom to pick on your site. You’re astute enough to know which of your followers are gems and which are dead ends. Also you have a great hobby, photography. There are a few others you could see if they fit your personality. Thank you for sharing; not everyone is brave enough to put their feelings out there for the public to view.
Thanks Tom. You’re right and this Tube Channel has been an eye opener. I’ve met a few people that I hope will remain so. The same with those who comment too. Thanks mate. Have a great week.
One can be lonely in a huge crowd of people, it doesn’t always take being on one’s own to be lonely. Very thoughtful vlog…
Thanks Jayne. I appreciate that and perhaps because a person would feel lonely in that busy space, it could be worse if you’re ignored. I do like to people watch in that scenario. Never bored of that. Thanks for your support.
Lovely video. Very thoughtful and real too - good to know you had a friend visiting…loneliness is very debilitating particularly if there is no end in sight. I’m sorry to hear your gf isn’t around anymore. I know you have plans for Christmas but perhaps try to schedule visitors or meet ups with friends on a regular basis. You’re used to a very structured life full of people so having plans might help. Happily it’s only about three weeks until the days start getting longer again which will definitely help your mood. Keep smiling and laughing Chris. Stay strong 😊
Thanks for the support Mishka. I’m not sad and lonely. I think there is a difference. There are just times when I want to share the moment. Even just share all the chores that need to happen. Living on my own is just different on a boat. I have to generate electric I have to get water. It’s so much easier in the summer when the sun does a reasonable job. I’m fine but I do know there are many out there who are more lonely than me. I’m robust..believe it or not. I’m not being shot at or mortared. Life has been worse. Thanks for the support.
On the treadmill this morning and howling with laughter. Its contagious! Whatever you need to do to combat loneliness during the dark, do it!
Thanks Karen. I appreciate the support. Have a great week.
There is actually a pheasant outside my kitchen window as I’m watching this. 😂. Glad you’re finding ways to feel less lonely, my solution, land locked, was to do volunteer work, join groups of same interest and try new hobbies, met friends online .
I think that dance group you’re watching is part of a group that do improve dance. Someone points out two people and play music, they have to come up with an amazing dance on the spot.
I watch some things, well lots of things, online but mostly post them onto my tv so I can use my hands to craft various crafts. Laughter really does help, at the moment two little kittens are keeping me in joy, just watching these little wild scraps of fur, bones and big eyes just enchant me.
Another lovely video👍🏼🙋🏼♀️
I get the volunteering thing. I was discussing this very point in the week. As I have to move about every two weeks, by the time you’ve found a group to assist, it’s time to move on. It would help if I just stayed within the 20mile radius as that enables you to dip in and out of places. The dancing - amazing. And all shapes and sizes of bodies too. There’s no excuses. They’re all really good. Thanks for the comment Jilli. Have a great week.
The enemy of living at peace with yourself, expectations !! i worked for many years with people who survived a traumatic brain injury and one of the biggest keys was setting up a a daily routine that they are truly happy with and they created it and they control it, not the 'experts' in white coats. You have been through a lot of changes Chris and i know from my own life that something like divorce knocks you sideways for at least a year maybe two. It might be an idea to examine your daily routine and ponder what could you do to improve it. The old couple today is an example they led you into a day you did not really want. Would you have felt better if you had said you guys go on i just want to pootle along at my own pace? For me living alone has made dealing with stage four cancer much easier, i do not have to take anyone else into consideration. i eat and sleep when i feel i need to, even cooking a fry up at 2am =) Steve
I can’t disagree with any of what you have written. I would write much the same thing, however….I got a call from a mate who was hard core military. He said thanks as he feels the same. It’s hard to articulate. You need to be me and have lived my life. I’m not prepared to share all my ghosts on the tube. I have a plan and am not going mad. I’m not bored and routine just doesn’t work when I Tube. Trying to create new content is hard work with very little pay. It’s time summing. Enough…I could go on. Sorry to hear about stage 4 Steve. Trust me…there’s a plan. Cooking at 2am….done that the other day.
@@chrismears-inslowtime Chris i was not inferring that you were going mad far from it. I was just trying to illustrate the potential effects of having routines knocked sideways by crappy events.
Hi Chris. Great to watch I know how you feel I do the same watching those type of clips through Facebook keeps me amused for hours. 🤣
It’s the only reason I do FB. Thanks Peter. Cold snap is arriving. Stay warm mate.
very good fella enjoyed that one a lot ,ending was funny as i was still laughing at your laughter ,,so picked it up very wrong haaaaa...i will admit i did want you to fall off the gunnels into the cut haaa sorry ..a cool feeling being up front on your own boat as long as there,s no ice bergs ..🤣
👍👍👍👍
Thanks mate. All I need is the chick standing on the bow with me behind her…arms outstretched with Celine playing in the background. The iceberg could be a huge log which hits the prop making it bend, rendering the boat unmovable. Happened to a wide-beam in front. I feel for them. Hope all is well.
@dopydan5929 thanks.
havent seen that film fella but i can picture it ..had a issue like that on my wide beam not a good day at all ,..life on the cut can go so wrong so quickly due to no fault of your own ...on the positive side you will get more interest in suitors from here than on your tinder/Grinder site haaaaaa....mind you your profile picture does look like a film star ..
Girlfriend?!!!
I shouldnt be surprised and even have wondered, and even hoped you had. But that was a bit of a video bomb.
I like to keep my private life as private as I can, particularly if the other half didn’t want to be in the frame. I’m now, GIlbert O’Sullivan…Alone Again Naturally.
In Japan, we have National Treasures,,,things, stuff. However, there are Living National Treasures - poets, scientists, artists etc.....You my interweb friend are most definitely a British National Treasure!!! Very thought provoking,,,but amusing at the same time....As always. thank you for the video....Chis, my wife looked at me and wistfully said....in a room of a 100 people, you can feel lonely....She may have read or heard that somewhere, I have no idea where that came from...Inscrutable, these Japanese.
Hi Ian. Thanks for the compliment. Your wife is right. It’s been stated a few times in the comments and was aware of it. If you’re an introvert, being in a room full of people is hard work and stressful. I’m borderline introvert / extrovert. I need to feel comfortable in my surroundings to become more extrovert. That takes time. Thanks for the comment and support Ian. Have a great week.
Well mate, you just made me laugh my head off! The jokes were hilarious, you were interesting and funny. The place you were was gorgeous and i love the idea of being able to wander about while someone else is driving the boat. I think youve just made a lot of people happy with this video. Im looking forward to a catch up soon.. ive plenty to tell you! Keep spreading the happiness and get practicing the salsa! 😁
Thanks Janine. That sounds great ….I’ll give you a ring over the weekend. Busy few days moving as I want to be in MK for next week. Colder weather starting too. Keep that fire burning and have a great week.
Chris can I please ask if you are on any Social Media platforms.
I can relate to everything you are talking about, in more ways than one.
Sometimes it’s great to be able to talk to people. I am a good listener & also have been in your shoes. On a Narrowboat also. It’s not for everyone.
Stay strong & keep saying it how it is..always open to chat..👍🥰
Hi Vicky. I’m on Insta and the book of faces. Less so on the latter. LinkedIn too but don’t use that a lot these days. Thanks for your comment. People say loneliness is a state of mind. It is but it’s more complex than the statement suggests; for me at least. Happy to chat. Have a great week.
Hey bud,,, always a great vlog as per usual,,,,,
Loneliness is such a massive thing in life, so good u bring this up within ur topics,,, we laugh, cry, talk to ourselves to help, yet it is within us to find the way out,,, don’t matter if ur in a house with a 10 acre garden! A council house, a caravan nor boat,…… it’s within our life as we choose or our mental well being,,,,,,,..
I would love to meet with u one day bud,,, I am in bricks and water atm but lived in all the above yet reside by the K A atm
If ur this way I’d gladly buy u a lunch and dinner
👍
Thanks Rich. Next year mate. I’m heading towards the K&A. I’ll be there about Apr/May time. Keep watching the vids and remind me as I’m at the end of the South Oxford leading on the Thames. We’ll meet up. Thanks for your support.
Nice Vlog Chris - Loneliness is a state of mind, not location… you can be lonely on your own or in a room full of people, we have two autistic boys who go through patches where they feel they are totally alone, we find like yourself that lots of social interaction helps. As for whiling away time and to cheer you up they watch a lot of TikTok (I suppose just like instagram) lots of content on there 😊 I find a change of routine helps me when I’m a bit lonely - have a great week Chris 👍🏼
Thanks Jon. I get it. I’m not likely to do something daft it’s just a feeling that I Have and feel it’s useful to share. Also, I know there are a lot of people who suffer from it as I get phone calls and text from others who agree. It is different to loneliness on land too. I have spoken to others about it and we all agree yet are unable to articulate the nub of the issue. Love the funny vids on all the socials though. Thanks for your support.
Having lived alone in a 10 feet x 60 feet Mobile Home for five years, I can recommend getting a dog, or cat. Depends upon your preference's. Dogs need to go out a lot and be entertained. Cats need a litter box and fed, but they cannot be ignored when it comes to cuddling or petting. I had a Cocker Spaniel, she was great. You have children, invite them more often. My wife follows Instagram. Got tired of those things after Face Book.
Definitely go for the dog option. Small one since the space is already an issue... though a large one will keep you warm at night!
Thanks for the suggestion Bob and David. I love dogs. Am fond of cats but I don’t want a pet just now. I have too much going on in my life and trying to look after something else as well as me is just not right. It’s counter intuitive I know. While I understand the benefits I also want to do stuff that a pet will just be another burden for me. Thanks for the support fellas. I appreciate it.
Nice video and great music choice. Have you considered having a pet of some sort? A parrot? Cockatoo?
I’ve considered a pet. However, it’s not going to work as my daughter lives in another country and I need to make the effort to see her. Pets get in the way. That said, a parrot has always interested me. But..they live for a long time and perhaps I’m now too old to have one. They will outlive me!! Thanks for the comment Rebecca.
Hi Chris! You had me laughing and I too crack up with Instagram. The things people come up with. We have to laugh at ourselves as a human race. I can sense the loneliness and maybe being on a narrow boat adds to it. If you had a travel buddy with a boat, it could make it easier or a partner? Put it out there and maybe the law of attraction will see that you fulfill your hearts desire. This was a fun clog😆
You’re right Val. A travel buddy is a good thing. But while I have had that experience, each person has a life to lead. They want other things in life. Narrowboat life is just different to houses. I had a chat with an ex-mil fella this morning who said much the same thing. And it’s difficult to articulate. He feels the same way as me. We get each other because of previous life despite not having served in the same Regt or at the same time. He’s 15 years my senior. Insta keeps me smiling on difficult days. Thanks for the support.
I had a good laugh. thank you.
Pleasure. Pleased you liked it. Have a great week.
Loneliness is a state of mind. I would think of the boat as a place to eat, sleep, and to get out of the rain. I’d spend as much time as possible outside, something I do daily here on land. Very good video but at the end I was afraid you might pull a muscle because you were laughing so hard 😂🤣😂
While I’m never bored on the boat Shoan, it is inability to have daily contact and share experiences that makes the difference for me. I spoke to a fella today who is ex mil, and he stated he felt similar. It’s just different…at least for us. Some really like it. I think a lot of it is also down to previous experiences of life and how we have lived. A state of mind but our minds experiences are all different. Thanks for the comment and support.
@@chrismears-inslowtime You are correct. I grew up with leisure boats, where we had to find our own space. I’ve never been in a military environment but I do understand. But I’m the type of person who can live without being around a lot of humans 🤣.
I'm 18 years on the boat now. If you've ever been in a relationship that wasn't working just remember how bad it was. A bit of loneliness wins every time. Also, go the pub, talk to strangers. Keep smiling fella.
Thanks for the support Phil. Not a drinker so the pub is really not my thing but strangely I’m just about to go to one. I don’t mind occasionally. I get the relationship thing too. I guess if that is the situation you’re in, being on your own is so much better.
Morning Chris get what u mean about loneliness, you beings ex military used to having lots of people around you had a purpose ,now that you are out and got all this time on your hands to do things with no rush it’s very hard to get used to it I’m ex army and I find guys like your self long timers find it difficult to adjust back in to civilian life ,having spoken to some friends who did longer than me (7.5 years) they find it hard to settle down hopefully you get through this,on a lighter note are you likely to get up near Stoke as i would like to meet up and have some sandbag time with you all the best
Thanks Dennis. I will get there at some point. This year probably Warwick then to the K&A. Next year back up the South Oxford and to…somewhere. Different lifestyles take time to adjust to. I generally have but there are occasions when its just a little challenging. Thanks for your support.
Could some sort of remote control be rigged up to control the boat , only 3 channels needed ,forward reverse, throttle and tiller . You could then operate the boat from anywhere on it , no longer tied to the stern.
There is a remote control thing that can be used on boats. All cost money although at the time of build, I didn’t consider it. Plenty of other stuff to spend on at the moment. Thanks for the comment Mike.
I'm definitely more lonely with people, most of the time 😕
I too like my own company but ideally, wish to share my thoughts with someone that interacts with my words. Pets and the internet just doesn’t cut it at times. Thanks for the comment and have a great week.
@@chrismears-inslowtime agreed, sometimes it's good to have someone to share things with 😍
Lonely? You need an objective, something to aim for. This time of year? Aim for Bristol. I understand the glue that binds you to a few miles up and down the GU but I think you need new horizons. Alternative? Start a Boaters Branch of the Royal British Legion. There is a Riders Branch that covers the country for bikers but nothing directly for boaters. That would need commitment, and a lot of "office" work.
Thanks for the suggestions Terry. I’m busy enough doing the RUclips stuff currently. Setting up a website and dealing with day to day filming keeps me from getting bored. Plenty of objectives. That said, I did state a few vids ago that I’m heading towards the K&A next year. Maybe not to Bristol though. Have a great week.
That's positive. But don't miss Bristol. The best way to see Bristol is from the "floating harbour" (just docks inside locks) and in my experience, they welcome narrowboats. Keep warm.@@chrismears-inslowtime
A Team Player, now gone Solo. I get it. 🤔
Thanks Nick. There was no hard feelings from either side so it wasn’t a bad one.
@@chrismears-inslowtime I’m on about work environment always having people around you to now.
Loneliness is loneliness 4 ever, where's the nearest pub, bub.
Pubs are not really my thing I'm afraid. It's a seasonal thing for me more than anything else. Thanks Jeffrey. Have a great week.
Hi Chris just watching your video and I was wondering if your feeling of being lonely is more to do with being retired. If you were in a house or flat would you see more or less people and have less to do.
All the best Peter. ( Perth Australia)
That may be a relevant point Peter. It took me a while to get used to not being a ‘somebody’. Now that has gone, it’s better but it’s just living on the boat that provides a different style of an affect of loneliness. It’s hard to articulate it. I think I’ll try one day for a Sunday chat. Have a great week.
I know that I can trust you to answer this the right way but...... When you're in ya boat reading or eating or whatever, how annoying is it really when peeps go past at speed.
It does depend on how the boat is secured. If it’s pins in the ground, a speeding boat can drag them out. If it’s chains secured to Armco, it’s not so bad. In short, it’s not a nice thing. Wide beam boats…twice as bad.
Chris, do you think that the potential for loneliness is considerably less in permanent moorings, especially, say, in a marina? Whilst watching your videos, I’ve often thought that being forced to move on every 2 weeks or so is an inherently lonely affair: it’s as if you’re an outsider, an observer, watching others going about their lives, whilst being somewhat invisible, as if you’re a ghostly presence or someone stuck in another dimension looking in. On the other hand, being stuck in a marina for a long stretch of time could, I feel, lead to a desire to break out and seek pastures new. I guess finding the right balance is the key.
This is just the feeling I have when watching your videos on a tablet. Of course, the reality may well be completely different.
If you think there’s anything in it, you might want to mull on it and expand on it when you next revisit the topic?
Hi Martin. The moving about is the principle reason for loneliness as the surroundings change each move. You’re right. Those who continuously cruise the same stretch often do so knowing all those around them. They have familiar surroundings all the time. It is more difficult doing what I do. That said, there are people who love it. Each to their own. I’m just sharing how I feel and how I deal with it as it’s not as easy as some make out! Thanks for the support mate. Have a great week.
I think you need a dog to organise your life for you it doesn't have to be expensive, a small cheap one will do the job just fine.
I get the sentiment and I do like dogs. It’s just not the right time for me to do that. A small dog when I retire would be ideal. But I am retired…yes. But this RUclips thing is the worst paid job I’ve ever had. It keeps me busy and I’m finding out about myself and meeting new people in the process. Thanks for the support.
I think November is a drag. Nearly over 😊, I've got a cane corso x neo mastiff you don't get bored with her bombing around. You could get a dog!!!!
sorry but the mental picture of that situation chris is hilarious ..but it would solve a load of issues ..haaa..security Sorted ...local transport Sorted ,,just rig up a buggy behind the beast put on your Toga and away you go ..nice one centurion haaaa...on saying that i did know a couple who had 7 staffies on a life boat on the Grand union ...cheers dopeydan gave me a good laugh .🤣
😂
@dopetdan5929 Dogs. When I retire from this video stuff. They add value but boot so sure the time is right.
@Georgieband I can visualise that mate. You know what I looked like in Toga and vice-versa. You’d look F****ng mean if you were to wear one now.
i would need a king size duvet these days ,haaaa..im not mean just have resting bitch- face..haaaa..@@chrismears-inslowtime
Funny that there's a clip about narcissism in a video about loneliness as I personally believe that being raised in a narcissistic environment can contribute to social anxiety later in life. I'm a very solitary person and think I would take to a boat like a duck to water. I'd definitely need some hobbies in the winter. We've spoken before about model boats. I think that'd be perfect; Start it in the early winter and by spring time you have a little boat to play with on the canal. I'd sell it after summer and do another one the following year. Perfect! I'd like to try painting or photography too. Could sell those as well! That'd do me; sat at my little desk tinkering with a little boat with the fire crackling away and some narrowboat guy laughing his tits off on my phone in the background. Sorted! I would absolutely 100% need a dog though. Couldn't imagine doing any of that without my doggo by my side.
Great comment and support. Thanks. I get the thoughts of having a dog but now is not the right time. I do photography and have plans but this Tube thing is taking up a lot of my time as it is. Boat life I get. Trying to create content that is different and hopefully interesting enough to keep people coming back is all the more challenging when I’m a solo boater. RC boats: it needs to float my boat. Vlogging keeps me doing stuff and looking for fresh content keeps my mind active. The problem I have found, doing it all by myself takes a lot more time than I ever thought it would. Hence the reason a dog would be just another task. Thanks for the support again. I do appreciate it.
Get yourself a SAD lamp
Heard of them. I’ll look into it. However it’s not just about season thing. It’s a life thing too. Perhaps, I’m just sad!!! Thanks for the comment.
Thinking about "can't dance" that's me too - no body rhythm at all . - I've got a mate who doesn't 'get' music at all .. he says he hears it but it doesn't MEAN anything to him ...? - So here's a question for you Chris .. your "MINDS EYE" .. if I say imagine and picture a pink giraffe with blue spots - can you SEE IT?
My ex, - if I say picture your old mum .. she can SEE her face as clear as if she was there, but I can't. No 'Minds Eye' at all. Apparantly there is a medical name for it that .. a small % have no minds eye. - There you go then - We are NOT all the same.
I get the analogy. Vaguely see the giraffe. I can picture my mum but not a pretty sight as it was always an angry sight facing my way. I’d not done anything wrong other than just being there. I have a lot of ghosts to put to rest. No-one to talk to makes that process harder. As for dancing….two left feet all day long. Thanks for the comment Martin.
With regard to the swing bridge could you use a barge pole with a hook on the end and drag the bridge shut as you pass through?
Ordinarily that may work. If you’ve been through that swing bridge and done that with a pole, good for you. That is one heavy bridge.
@@chrismears-inslowtime Sadly I am an armchair boater.
There are no canals or swing bridges on this Philippine island so I lack hands on experience.
My reduced mobility forces me to look for the easiest way to accomplish tasks.
use thick rope ,i was going to say string but i knew you would ask how long it was haaaa@@chrismears-inslowtime
I fear we are watching a man slip slowly into insanity 😉
Someone else mentioned that too!
You can be just as lonely within a crowded room….
Lots of people have said that. Not sure I have but I get the meaning. Thanks Peter.
Silly arse 😂
Thanks Gavlarrrr. Enjoy.
Laugh it off RAF Regt…
Thanks Tony. Have a great week.
@@chrismears-inslowtime you too mate…
Its funny AF all the comments are from people who have partners, children, freinds.......
It did cross my mind but it’s difficult to say for sure. Thanks for your support. Have a great week.
Yeah mate get ur only fans accoumt set up extra money innit lol
It’ll never happen. It would be a huge disappointment.
if your lonely, do something about it. talking about it won't fix it!
Good advice Tom. Clearly didn’t watch the end
What an appalling comment. You are clearly a very angry person whose only wish is to project your own feelings and failings on others. Take a look at your picture. If your bottom lip was any lower you would keep treading on it! Maybe it is YOU who needs to do something about their situation! As a Physcotherapist I believe you could get to the bottom of your issues, if you're brave enough is another matter! I think NOT.
Clearly you are a "Keyboard Warrior" who hides behind their anonymous persona without consideration of the damage they cause, believing you are free from recourse.
Using your own logic I have the following comment!
Check your BMI, from your picture you rate as "Obese" so for your own health eat healthy and exercise more! If you lost weight then maybe you would be a happier person? Maybe you could then be able to SMILE!
I would recommend you apply for the next Snow White movie as I hear they are looking for a "Grumpy" Unfortunately you would fail the literacy test! The abbreviation for "You Are" is "You're.
If YOU'RE going to be critical then make sure you are beyond reproach!!!
I very happy to discuss our comment in this open forum and look forward to your response!
In the meantime I, as many others believe, Chris Mears is an outstanding person. The time he spends editing the Vlogs, the effort he puts in for our benefit is to be applauded. Have you ever thought, for one moment, his efforts are actually creating a community within which he becomes involved with others and overcomes his loneliness?
Shake a 6 and join in with reality!!
Mel
What a top bloke you must be… no.. scratch that.. an energy vampire..
I note you were very quick to comment on Chris' Vlog but very slow to reply to my comment! Have you taken the time to read the responses from all the other people? Looks like you are on your own buddy, out there in the wilderness!. I hope you are well and haven't been consumed by remorse, or disappeared into your "Warrior Keyboard".
Maybe you haven't thrown that 6 yet to allow you back into reality! When you do maybe an apology to Chris would be a very good first step!
I doubt very much if you are man enough! Prove me wrong!