Frozen in Time: the motherhood dilemma for single women in China

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  • Опубликовано: 5 сен 2024
  • Fertility tourism is booming for single Chinese women with hopes of future motherhood.
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    China's birthrate is at a record low, yet unmarried women are not legally allowed to freeze their eggs there. We meet Lei and Abu, as they travel to the US for the procedure - battling self-doubt and scepticism along the way. What does this mean for womanhood and parenting in modern China?
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    #frozenintime #fertilitytourism #china #birthrate #women

Комментарии • 776

  • @mannyme2986
    @mannyme2986 Месяц назад +1068

    The influencer reminds me of something I have read recently:
    This is the generation with the happiest pictures and the saddest lives.

    • @blbjg5294
      @blbjg5294 Месяц назад +98

      It's not like before was better. Just listen to old people, the awful things they went through and the hardships... We always tend to look back and think life was better, but is wasn't... It's just our brain tricking us

    • @Dhyaam5989
      @Dhyaam5989 Месяц назад +17

      ​@@blbjg5294True. Some things were always better than past while some things are always better than past.

    • @Turnpost2552
      @Turnpost2552 Месяц назад +9

      In Chinas Case things are alllllllloooottt better. There gdp was worse than Indias at one point.

    • @natashadickson4819
      @natashadickson4819 Месяц назад +1

      ​​@@blbjg5294 Yes. Same as before.

    • @nexusyang4832
      @nexusyang4832 Месяц назад +2

      Ain’t that the truth….

  • @sirmadam8183
    @sirmadam8183 Месяц назад +568

    Thank you soooooo much for not dubbing the voices. I enjoy hearing the real voices.

    • @LiberRaider
      @LiberRaider Месяц назад +5

      It is interesting, I agree. The one downside is I can't listen to the documentary as I do chores. That's why I prefer dubbed.

  • @Van_TT
    @Van_TT Месяц назад +230

    I found this documentary to be more engaging due to the cinematic storytelling. Well done to all involved!

  • @Alex-pr6zv
    @Alex-pr6zv Месяц назад +262

    The ending with the flame burning low and then petering out is very a poignant reminder that time takes no prisoners.

  • @selimae8539
    @selimae8539 Месяц назад +308

    Stunning documentary. Congratulations to the film makers and best wishes to the two women.

  • @beaumont4045
    @beaumont4045 Месяц назад +914

    Had a conversation with a colleague of mine back when I was stationed in Beijing. I asked them "China has an excess of 40 million men in the population as compared to women. How come there are so much negative news about women not being able to find a partner?" Then my colleague replied "Yes, there is an excess of men, but there is a deficit of GOOD men." So, yea... can't really argue against that logic.

    • @frenzybuzz3703
      @frenzybuzz3703 Месяц назад +26

      Exactly 💯

    • @frenzybuzz3703
      @frenzybuzz3703 Месяц назад +150

      Better to stay single than staying in unhealthy relationship.

    • @shinbi6009
      @shinbi6009 Месяц назад +1

      Its just Chinese women are picky and want the top 10%.

    • @shinbi6009
      @shinbi6009 Месяц назад +132

      All women thinks this way.

    • @alienkishorekumar
      @alienkishorekumar Месяц назад +135

      They all think they can do better.

  • @sirmadam8183
    @sirmadam8183 Месяц назад +181

    Whoever produced this did an amazing job.

    • @Goosher
      @Goosher Месяц назад +6

      Exactly! so glad they made this

  • @beatpirate8
    @beatpirate8 Месяц назад +137

    this so parallels my life in the US as a single working woman. i wish for more but hard to make a life plan on your own. wishing you both much luck through your journey in life

    • @Fujian5481
      @Fujian5481 Месяц назад +35

      The problem is that These 30's career women are only ready to marry men who are richer than herself, more educated than herself and getting more salary than herself.. But, these "top rich men" want to marry only 20's women. They don’t want to marry 30's career women. And these 30's career women are not willing to marry the poor men who are ready to marry her.. So, she remains unmarried forever.. while, The poor men go to the villages and marry poor women or marry women from Cambodia, Vietnam, Thailand, Philippines etc..

    • @Persistentdreamer91
      @Persistentdreamer91 Месяц назад +9

      Sending love and positivity from 🇦🇺🤗 life has a way of surprising us, wishing you the best.

    • @nityasg2260
      @nityasg2260 Месяц назад

      @@Fujian5481 Search about divorce rates of those marriages 2 & 5 years after those women get green card.

    • @suziepickes702
      @suziepickes702 Месяц назад +17

      ​@@Fujian5481 incel

    • @rafaeldolfe
      @rafaeldolfe Месяц назад +4

      @@suziepickes702 im curious, what do you think is the reason for the problem?

  • @9000ck
    @9000ck Месяц назад +61

    What a beautifully made documentary. You rarely come across something of this quality. Plus - it is well edited.

  • @zevil89
    @zevil89 Месяц назад +277

    People have to realize that East Asia has this weird culture wherein before you get married, the guy should already have a house and the guy solely pays for the wedding. In addition, the guy pays for the household expenses. The woman's income is solely hers and for her parents' support. There was this video in Asian Boss where a Chinese girl clearly said in China the guys pay for everything and she's break up with a guy who makes her pay her share. As to how the common person will be able to buy a house by his 30's is beyond me.
    Such burden is impossible in modern society where cost of living has risen to unreasonable figures. Even in the US, couples can't afford to be single income households.
    This is the reason why birth rate is down in ALL of East Asia. I don't know why this is not being talked about.

    • @hanispeace8006
      @hanispeace8006 Месяц назад +57

      Not a weird culture though, its a man responsibility. If you cant take the responsibility means you cant afford to get married.

    • @sparkyin3d
      @sparkyin3d Месяц назад

      So, take it up with the government, don’t blame the women. They are as much of a victim as the men.

    • @mysterioanonymous3206
      @mysterioanonymous3206 Месяц назад +79

      ​@@hanispeace8006😂 total b s

    • @kreedo5884
      @kreedo5884 Месяц назад +71

      ​@@hanispeace8006 by that faulty logic, if the woman can't find a husband that can pay all the bills and provide a house, then she doesn't have the right to bare children.

    • @slevinlindsay3624
      @slevinlindsay3624 Месяц назад +13

      "Weird" Culture?? have you watched Jerry Springer?

  • @Barbarossa-heir
    @Barbarossa-heir Месяц назад +66

    When she cried during that one rare dialogue with her father , I felt her deep and cried my heart out ...😢😢
    So many things lost , with little affection.

    • @Blytheville2830
      @Blytheville2830 Месяц назад +33

      What is there to cry about? It's not that no man wants to marry these 30's career women. There are many poor men who want to marry her. The problem is that she is not ready to marry any of the poor men who want to marry her. She is ready to marry only rich men. And the rich men, whom she is trying to marry are not interested in marrying older 30's women like her. These rich men reject 30's career women and marry the younger 20's women. So, these 30's career women remain unmarried forever. In China, They are called leftover women.. And there are 100 million highly educated, high salary leftover women in China..

    • @chrismeyers5963
      @chrismeyers5963 Месяц назад +19

      @@Blytheville2830 This, this right here, thank you. It seems a lot of goofballs in the comment section seem to not understand this 1 single bit because of their ego and wanting to blame men instead of holding women and their " decisions " accountable

    • @illapuproductions
      @illapuproductions Месяц назад +5

      @@Blytheville2830exactly she played herself

    • @saharkhalili5303
      @saharkhalili5303 Месяц назад +17

      All the incel microsphere bros in your replies 💀

    • @chrismeyers5963
      @chrismeyers5963 Месяц назад +6

      @@saharkhalili5303 Hmm, I'm not an incel my friend, stating facts doesn't make 1 an incel but bashing those who speak those facts does

  • @AArco-vc1jj
    @AArco-vc1jj 21 день назад +8

    "Humanity has no remedy for regret"
    Wow, that hit hard.

  • @hl3517
    @hl3517 Месяц назад +22

    This is the era where we can choose our own freedom to take care our body, health & financial. Marriage is a big step of sacrifice to these 3 things. It even depletes our time & mind. Be mindfulness to pick the choice because it is gonna drag you to the sadness or happiness.. Create your own path not follow others.

  • @nickelandimed
    @nickelandimed Месяц назад +86

    My husband and I are Chinese-American. We have 8 cats and 1 dog. We are expecting our first child next year at the age of 38. We spend very little time on social media. There's a lot of advice I could give but for now I want to say...if the world had less judgment and competition between people, and instead more unity and compassion, everyone will prosper.

    • @koalatheworld
      @koalatheworld Месяц назад +4

      I love it when you mentioned you had 8 cats ❤ I am a cat parent too 😊

    • @timetravellergec2043
      @timetravellergec2043 Месяц назад +2

      Haya, 38 for first child???

    • @whatrtheodds
      @whatrtheodds Месяц назад +12

      Congratulations 🎉 I'm expecting my first at 36 😊

    • @nickelandimed
      @nickelandimed Месяц назад +6

      ​@@whatrtheodds Congrats to you as well 🎊 I hope you are doing well on your life's journeys 💜

    • @st.6959
      @st.6959 16 дней назад

      @@timetravellergec2043 this is more common now

  • @adw6894
    @adw6894 Месяц назад +424

    I realize that people are very active in criticizing single moms, but they say nothing about men who abandon his children and don't even pay child support. Single moms are way better than those irresponsible dads.

    • @tigerbear3038
      @tigerbear3038 Месяц назад +77

      What the heck are you talking about? These men are criticized just the same. And, child support is a more complicated issue. If a man was tricked into conceiving a child or the woman is initiated a divorce, then these might be some situations where it is not just for a man to pay child support.

    • @lenzi1345
      @lenzi1345 Месяц назад +63

      ​@@tigerbear3038 if the woman initiated a divorce the Man should not support his children?
      This is an absurd connection to make..

    • @tigerbear3038
      @tigerbear3038 Месяц назад +23

      @@lenzi1345 he should be given the choice if he wants to pay or not. Which part of it is absurd ?

    • @Jespidi
      @Jespidi Месяц назад +50

      @@tigerbear3038 His kids too. What logic is this?

    • @lenzi1345
      @lenzi1345 Месяц назад +16

      @@tigerbear3038 so its the woman should be given the choice if she wants to care about the child.
      If she doesnt wants it than its the man's task

  • @goodgamernavi
    @goodgamernavi Месяц назад +35

    Incredibly well done, I rarely have seen such good documentaries it feels the most human and yet so cinematic I have seen to date so props to you Guardian, keep it up.

  • @WillowEverlight
    @WillowEverlight Месяц назад +148

    That's ridiculous that it's illegal there to freeze your eggs if you're not married.

    • @ablamill8357
      @ablamill8357 Месяц назад

      It's an oppressive law by and oppressive lawmaking society.

    • @nityasg2260
      @nityasg2260 Месяц назад +52

      Everyone's solution for low birth rate is somehow creating more pressure on women instead of making reproductive care / fertility treatment more accessible. You got some states in USA going after IVF . Here you got China that was talking about low birth rate concerns making it difficult for women to access fertility care . Eventually they'll probably see a 4B situation like SK .

    • @tigerbear3038
      @tigerbear3038 Месяц назад +14

      It should be illegal.

    • @ablamill8357
      @ablamill8357 Месяц назад +30

      It's a symptom of an oppressive society

    • @samysdefer
      @samysdefer Месяц назад +11

      conservative countries behave like that

  • @jlindsa
    @jlindsa Месяц назад +18

    Egg freezing is a borderline scam. By and large it, it helps women to feel better but that's mostly it.
    Various journalist have been reporting on the industry, what they promise, what the success rate looks like, and even when happens to the patients after they freeze their eggs. Whenever there is money to be made on people that feel "desperate" for a solution, its worth looking deeper at those companies.

  • @JohnSmith-mj8hn
    @JohnSmith-mj8hn Месяц назад +152

    "Translator: William Clegg"
    I guess that explains some of the inaccuracies and mistranslations that don't quite fit what was spoken.
    Just one example: "he zuo huo ban" is better off translated as "co-partner" or "co-operative partner". "Co-producer" conjures up such a different image and impression of what was said.

    • @sunbather1576
      @sunbather1576 Месяц назад +23

      @@user-sz3cy2sm2w Actually, she looks and especially acts exactly like the kind of person that would call her partner a "co-producer". (EDIT: which doesn't mean that it isn't an incorrect translation, of course!)

    • @ozlekosusturu
      @ozlekosusturu Месяц назад +8

      Oooooh ok that does change the vibe.

    • @tiapina7048
      @tiapina7048 Месяц назад +14

      I don't understand. Why the name of the translator gives you an explanation about the translation?

    • @mannyme2986
      @mannyme2986 Месяц назад +1

      ​@@sunbather1576 I thought the same!!

    • @jorsm.3893
      @jorsm.3893 Месяц назад +20

      @@tiapina7048 I don't get it either + a literal translation is not always the best translation. She grinned right after as well, which seems to indicate she found what she said a bit funny, in that sense "co-producer" doesn't sound bad at all.

  • @mel_issa__
    @mel_issa__ Месяц назад +32

    Would love a documentary playlist @Guardian

    • @theGuardian
      @theGuardian  Месяц назад +22

      No problem, here it is: ruclips.net/p/PLa_1MA_DEorG7slzdtQy_SUTn5cACKFsn

    • @ishunyu
      @ishunyu 15 дней назад

      @@theGuardian Ask and theGuardian shall deliver!

  • @Youwish34
    @Youwish34 Месяц назад +6

    Losing a mother is grief like no other

  • @frenzybuzz3703
    @frenzybuzz3703 Месяц назад +192

    Chinese womem are doing great. Its infinity times better than being stuck in incompatible relationship like my aunts they are tortured in marriage

    •  Месяц назад +56

      Do these women look happy to you?

    • @blbjg5294
      @blbjg5294 Месяц назад +64

      Yes... Definitely more than the ones stuck in an unwanted marriage

    • @Fujian5481
      @Fujian5481 Месяц назад +38

      These 30's career women are only ready to men who are richer than herself, more educated than herself and getting more salary than herself.. But, these "rich men" want to marry only 20's women. They don’t want to marry 30's career women. And these 30's career women are not willing to marry the poor men who are ready to marry her.. So, she remains unmarried forever.. The poor men go to the villages and marry poor women or marry women from Cambodia, Vietnam, Thailand, Philippines etc..

    • @adw6894
      @adw6894 Месяц назад +1

      @@Fujian5481 Those "rich men" who want young girls are not genuine men anyway, they will cheat on their wives late. So unmarried 30 years old woman with a stable career and social life gonna be happier than being wives of those ungenuine men.

    • @adw6894
      @adw6894 Месяц назад +36

      @@Fujian5481 Wise women would not want those men anyway

  • @janoraj4667
    @janoraj4667 Месяц назад +7

    I feel so lucky to have a family this could easily have been me. I hope they will find their happiness

  • @NateTheNarrator
    @NateTheNarrator Месяц назад +3

    8:44 "Humankind has no remedy for regret. You must remember this."
    I felt those words in my soul because of how they ring so true. This life is no dress rehearsal, there are no do-overs or "load last save" options. The decisions we make can shape one's life, for better or for worse.

  • @randomjack1995
    @randomjack1995 Месяц назад +6

    A disillusioned generation, our younger citizens were raise in a very optimistic period, but in their formative years everything is going worse.

  • @dorothynwude191
    @dorothynwude191 3 дня назад +1

    This is very enlightening, I enjoyed it. Having a chinese friend really helped me understand the different mindset, she said she would get married because she feels obligated to do so, and not doing so would bring shame to her family. She also told me of how despite being well off, her mother's family she was treated because of the fact that she was a girl. So yes, I'm all for single women going ahead and having children on their own, no child deserves to be their grandparents' less loved relative, nor do women deserve to have to settle down in loveless marriages.

  • @dominicm255
    @dominicm255 Месяц назад +6

    This is deep. I hope the film makers continue to work together. Fantastic. Thank you

  • @beanzbeanz
    @beanzbeanz Месяц назад +4

    Cinematic. Beautifully shot and directed.

  • @lucasgdrezes
    @lucasgdrezes Месяц назад +59

    There are things you just don't tell your family. Specially when you already know they'll be against it.

    • @weidchar1646
      @weidchar1646 Месяц назад +9

      They weren't harsh or anything. Simply giving their advice on what they think would lead to their daughter(s) having happier lives. What's the problem with that?

    • @evevoxx2053
      @evevoxx2053 Месяц назад +13

      that one guy had some serious well thought out n deep foresight. he knows exactly where this is going. they wont lower their standards or settle now cuz they think they have this plan b.... why cant people understand that peace, belonging & relationships are a choice that requires hard work and dedication.

    • @1HeatWalk
      @1HeatWalk 28 дней назад

      ​I agree. His point of her using this method and pushing the need to find a compatible partner sooner holds true.

    • @rc3398x
      @rc3398x 25 дней назад +2

      Your advice is actually horrible. This won't end well. She is delaying the inevitable.

  • @drummerfreak69
    @drummerfreak69 Месяц назад +54

    should do one from the Male perspective.. it will be interesting to see the similarities and contrast..

    • @Fujian5481
      @Fujian5481 Месяц назад +34

      This is the male perspective... The poor Chinese men go to the villages and marry poor women or marry women from Cambodia, Vietnam, Thailand, Philippines etc.. These 30's career women are only ready to men who are richer than herself, more educated than herself and getting more salary than herself.. But, these "rich men" want to marry only 20's women. They don’t want to marry 30's career women. And these 30's career women are not willing to marry the poor men who are ready to marry her.. So, she remains unmarried forever..

    • @DeniDays312
      @DeniDays312 Месяц назад +14

      ​@Fontana5481 what documentary did you see that in?

    • @douglei4413
      @douglei4413 Месяц назад

      ​@@DeniDays312. RUclips. "Leftover woman."

    • @skillbopster
      @skillbopster Месяц назад +4

      LOL the guardian is anti-male.

    • @rpaafourever7908
      @rpaafourever7908 Месяц назад +14

      ​@@Fujian5481 Over simplified.. men need to learn to look within and become emotionally intelligent.. projecting blaming as reality check wont cut it anymore

  • @counterculture10
    @counterculture10 Месяц назад +29

    This is a very interesting documentary. As a Western man who has no experience on this topic, I really felt for these ladies. They seemed genuine and longed to be mothers. I hope they attain their dreams.

    • @Blytheville2830
      @Blytheville2830 Месяц назад +12

      It's not that no man wants to marry these 30's career women. There are many poor men who want to marry her. The problem is that she is not ready to marry any of the poor men who want to marry her. She is ready to marry only rich men. And the rich men, whom she is trying to marry are not interested in marrying older 30's women like her. These rich men reject 30's career women and marry the younger 20's women. So, these 30's career women remain unmarried forever. In China, They are called leftover women.. And there are 100 million highly educated, high salary leftover women in China.

    • @adkldy8158
      @adkldy8158 Месяц назад +3

      They are wrapped up in the unique values ​​of East Asia. I think this is something very deep. As an East Asian woman, I understand this feeling. We have a lot of anxiety about age and marriage and childbearing. Everyone in society will judge you, so seeing this really makes me feel very uncomfortable and heavy.

    • @jnd5706
      @jnd5706 Месяц назад +8

      ​@@Blytheville2830Most women want to marry someone who is at least as intelligent and educated as they are. As a woman, intelligence is a huge turn on for me. I'm very educated and well travelled myself and don't typically find men who aren't those things attractive. Money doesn't really come into it (I have dated men who earn less than me); it's more about being able to have a decent conversation with someone.

    • @frwololo
      @frwololo Месяц назад +3

      I actually had a very hard time understanding the motivations of these two ladies. One admitted to not wanting to be a mother, but felt that it was her duty. The motivation of the second one wasn't very clear either, beyond "I'm getting old and I might one day regret not having kids".
      The documentary is well edited but at the end of the day I failed to understand the true reasons here. It also doesn't go into the legal details of the situation,which I fond very interesting. Surely pregnancy tourism like this is in a gray area legally? But there sems to be a whole industry of people profiting from it... That's an aspect they barely mention!

    • @Sagewort0521
      @Sagewort0521 Месяц назад

      ​@@jnd5706... If the whole point is to get married and have a family with healthy children, what does a successful above 35+ year old woman have to offer a rich man that doesn't need or care about her salary or money?

  • @drummerfreak69
    @drummerfreak69 Месяц назад +4

    This is brilliantly put together! Well Done The Guardian.

  • @DavidA-411
    @DavidA-411 10 дней назад +1

    Impressive video on a complicated, emotional, topic.
    It's never been easy to find the "right" partner. These days of immense options, the idea of success is much harder to define.
    What is it to have family when trust is so fleeting, even with the best intentions.

  • @nyeusiafric
    @nyeusiafric 21 день назад +1

    This was deep, honest, real, and informative about today's human condition/experience. Thank you.

  • @DonChups
    @DonChups Месяц назад +3

    Thanks for making this dosumentary and uploading it. It's really interesting and touching.

  • @clothyardshafts
    @clothyardshafts Месяц назад +6

    Excellent work and so informative.

  • @geinikan1kan
    @geinikan1kan Месяц назад +3

    Brilliantly moving and touching film. This is what documentary can do.

  • @RichardPonsford-kv2uy
    @RichardPonsford-kv2uy Месяц назад +62

    It ain’t the 60’s no more. Women are independent, and the pipe and slippers days are well and truly over.

    • @yadusolparterre
      @yadusolparterre Месяц назад +15

      Women? Independent? In China? HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!

    • @adw6894
      @adw6894 Месяц назад +11

      @@yadusolparterre Yes. And that makes you mad?

    • @Rocambole7482
      @Rocambole7482 Месяц назад +25

      A woman ain't single and lonely because she is Strong and Independent.. She is lonely because Nobody wants To Deal with her..

    • @DeniDays312
      @DeniDays312 Месяц назад +22

      ​@Rhodohypoxis7482 does the same thing go for the millions of American men who are suicidal due to being lonely and sexless?

    • @darthvader3910
      @darthvader3910 Месяц назад

      Niiiice ​@@DeniDays312

  • @FuuzBeeen
    @FuuzBeeen Месяц назад +65

    The orange hair lady with one of her family members telling her that she'll regret it, come on...and the dark haired lady got cheated on by him? man, both of these women look nice to me, I think they would be nice to get to know if they also have the intended promise of a family.

    • @wl6020
      @wl6020 Месяц назад +33

      Their standards are very high. Average chinese women are looking for a top 20% guy at minnimum.

    • @letsdomath1750
      @letsdomath1750 Месяц назад +48

      @@wl6020 The influencer had a partner already. He was not loyal. Her standards were not high enough.

    • @wl6020
      @wl6020 Месяц назад +20

      @@letsdomath1750 oh her standards are high enough. He is not loyal because he has options, while an average chinese guy has no options. Biggest question is, can she lock him down and have him buy a ring, marry her.

    • @natashadickson4819
      @natashadickson4819 Месяц назад +21

      ​@@wl6020 Don't lock down an unfaithful man. Let him go.

    • @wl6020
      @wl6020 Месяц назад +14

      @@natashadickson4819 unfaithful men is unfaithful for a reason, it means he is doing something right to have so many options, either tall, rich, has game, handsome etc. Women wont settle for a average man with average height, money, etc.

  • @whatrtheodds
    @whatrtheodds Месяц назад +1

    The art🎨🎭 the talent ❤ the skill. Thankyou for doing such quality work for this documentary!!!! I was so invested while watching.🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

  • @hempstonesmithotieno2379
    @hempstonesmithotieno2379 Месяц назад +2

    Beautiful piece. Cinematic. Enjoyed it ❤

  • @cultusdeus
    @cultusdeus Месяц назад +3

    Dramatic. But most of these procedures aren't successful.

  • @tonyah3488
    @tonyah3488 Месяц назад +31

    Beautifully made and so poignant

  • @arachnid4910
    @arachnid4910 Месяц назад +2

    this was really well done

  • @derpderpderpPSN
    @derpderpderpPSN 25 дней назад

    4:33 As a Tianjin native, hearing her say "today" in that thick authentic Tianjin accent was 👌👌👌👌👌

  • @RedPanda79
    @RedPanda79 Месяц назад +18

    😢such a lack of supportive family

  • @DonCE0
    @DonCE0 Месяц назад

    that bit where she told the family was so intense, i had to pause to take a breather.

  • @ronaldkable
    @ronaldkable Месяц назад +2

    These are very real, very human people

  • @HarukiYamamoto
    @HarukiYamamoto Месяц назад +26

    7:07 the parents are right. Freezing eggs is not 100% guaranteed.

    •  Месяц назад +24

      Nothing in life is 100% guaranteed..

    • @nityasg2260
      @nityasg2260 Месяц назад +2

      Exactly

    • @Ffollies
      @Ffollies Месяц назад +8

      It's not even close to guaranteed. I believe the success rate is pretty low, maybe 20% for those trying to conceive using frozen eggs. It's not very successful usually.

    • @nityasg2260
      @nityasg2260 Месяц назад +1

      @@Ffollies Depends on the number of eggs frozen & the age.

    • @Ffollies
      @Ffollies Месяц назад +4

      @@nityasg2260 Yes of course we all know that, but overall for women who chose this path, it's usually unsuccessful. Also considering the cost, it should be a last resort IMO.

  • @drosera8943
    @drosera8943 16 дней назад +1

    Abu's cats are so adorably fluffy! I hope both women find satisfaction in life whether or not marriage or children happen. It is rare to have everything you want and be content.

    • @jayrollo1352
      @jayrollo1352 8 часов назад

      That's why they are single. They're holding out for the perfect man who doesn't exist.

  • @ca8099
    @ca8099 Месяц назад +2

    This was beautifully done

  • @kainewme743
    @kainewme743 Месяц назад +5

    This is just like a movie.

  • @sinhaashish54
    @sinhaashish54 Месяц назад +8

    We all complain about things not happening in our lives but fail to look beyond our biases that may have role in perpetuating those failed plans.

    • @casioak1683
      @casioak1683 23 дня назад

      I love how in the other comments say "this is our choice" "for independence" "free women" yet at the same time: lonely & depressed

    • @kilujuma1234
      @kilujuma1234 22 дня назад

      ​@@casioak1683like any men that cheats

  • @evanwiechert3168
    @evanwiechert3168 5 дней назад

    Fertility tourism is a global issue, this is happening practically everywhere in the world right now

  • @MrMark595
    @MrMark595 Месяц назад +31

    Modernity had brought many great advancements but also huge disruption-socially, culturally and economically. Traditions, norms, rituals have been swept away-some good, some bad-a sense of community lost and probably gone forever. It has left us many of us unmoored and desperately, desperately lonely. Rampant materialism does not help. These two women are not happy. In fact they seem sad.

    • @katinkaraab1964
      @katinkaraab1964 Месяц назад +7

      You mean, it would be better to still female Babys? Like they did in China?

    • @frenzybuzz3703
      @frenzybuzz3703 Месяц назад +24

      It's still better than staying or being trapped I'm abusive relationships. Remember in the past women were firced and rped in marriages and were not even able to divorce so current time is better 😊

    • @frenzybuzz3703
      @frenzybuzz3703 Месяц назад +7

      It's still better than staying or being trapped I'm abusive relationships. Remember in the past women were firced and rped in marriages and were not even able to divorce so current time is better 😊

    • @frenzybuzz3703
      @frenzybuzz3703 Месяц назад +5

      In the past women were not able to leave abusive relationship and it's better to stay single than being stuck in an incompatible relationship..😊

    • @MrMark595
      @MrMark595 Месяц назад +2

      @@katinkaraab1964 No, that isn't what I'm saying-that's one of those 'so you're saying' platitudes you are using. That's a bad faith argument. You are trying to put words in my mouth. You must try and be more nuanced in arguments and less reflexively ideological.

  • @ToastedBagel5G
    @ToastedBagel5G 4 дня назад

    I think this will be more common going into the future based on the direction we're heading

  • @saraandkoda
    @saraandkoda 23 дня назад +4

    Lots of incels in this comment section lol

    • @jayrollo1352
      @jayrollo1352 8 часов назад

      Where? What are you talking about.

  • @jamesdrake3651
    @jamesdrake3651 24 дня назад +6

    No one can have it all. Not men. Not women.

  • @TomGrob
    @TomGrob Месяц назад +5

    ReplicantPhish: Sheng Nu 😂

  • @jxy1986
    @jxy1986 Месяц назад +28

    她的情况跟我差不多,但父亲比我的父亲好。我父亲嘴里永远不会说出那么好的话来。断子绝孙也挺好的。

  • @XiraKira13
    @XiraKira13 22 дня назад

    Great documentary!

  • @nivmhn
    @nivmhn Месяц назад

    This was a great documentary.

  • @sparkyin3d
    @sparkyin3d Месяц назад +12

    As a mother of four children, there’s no physical experience in this universe that came close to the love I felt except with the grandchildren ❤! It’s as close to connecting to the divine as I have come in the physical. ❤

    • @rpaafourever7908
      @rpaafourever7908 Месяц назад +6

      You don't speak for everyone, every human being is already connected to the divine

    • @natashadickson4819
      @natashadickson4819 Месяц назад

      ​@@rpaafourever7908⭐️

    • @natashadickson4819
      @natashadickson4819 Месяц назад +5

      There's no way that this is true for every woman. Otherwise, there would be no abuse or neglect in the world.

    • @sparkyin3d
      @sparkyin3d Месяц назад

      @@rpaafourever7908 Thank you for the reminder love, I have edited my reply to speak for myself

    • @ibiro868
      @ibiro868 Месяц назад +1

      So poetic. Are you looking for a 5th 😍😍??

  • @philopsyche
    @philopsyche 29 дней назад +1

    1:12 what is happening rn?

  • @bevs9995
    @bevs9995 Месяц назад +4

    freezing your eggs is no big deal. a bad marriage can cut years off your life. Is divorce somehow better? Looks just as embarrassing to me.

  • @Sisterlisk
    @Sisterlisk Месяц назад +1

    How long does a loving couple need to put off marriage for? They're adorable together.

  • @dougmacgregor5053
    @dougmacgregor5053 Месяц назад +3

    well done!

  • @selenaclarke
    @selenaclarke Месяц назад +4

    I really enjoyed learning about these Chinese Woman. More please, very beautiful

  • @salmon.samurai8469
    @salmon.samurai8469 9 дней назад

    I felt for Abi when they were versing her with the visa. I totally understand as governments have to be careful and screen people....but she doesnt deserve that hard time either....

  • @daithimccaffrey
    @daithimccaffrey Месяц назад

    What alovely and moving piece and it speaks to oppression.

  • @justaloner9033
    @justaloner9033 11 дней назад

    What about ADOPTION?

  • @KS-cl8br
    @KS-cl8br Месяц назад

    Voice over in english and no music

  • @saharkhalili5303
    @saharkhalili5303 Месяц назад +9

    Beautiful. This is a difficult and excruciating time for women, without much guidance support or sympathy, women feel really lost. I'm 37 now. The period between 31-35 was especially stressful and ultimately, humiliating. Why

    • @ibiro868
      @ibiro868 Месяц назад +3

      Time ran out

    • @Youwish34
      @Youwish34 Месяц назад +2

      Why didn’t you travel and further your education. Volunteer in your community. Adopted or foster children?

    • @saharkhalili5303
      @saharkhalili5303 Месяц назад

      😂 the audacity. You don't know anything about me, you're projecting

    • @Youwish34
      @Youwish34 Месяц назад +5

      @@saharkhalili5303 you are the one saying women feel really lost. Why do you speak of all women? Women you are the one projecting 😂.

    • @casioak1683
      @casioak1683 23 дня назад +1

      ​@@Youwish34adopting a child is not as simple as buying smartphone from online store. You will be surprised with the adopted child later in life because she/he is not genetically similar with you, expect a surprise comes from her/his personality.

  • @21stcenturyshowgirl
    @21stcenturyshowgirl Месяц назад

    This is so beautiful. I love this woman and her brother and their mother. They are divine to me.

  • @walsakaluk1584
    @walsakaluk1584 Месяц назад +5

    Egg storage facilities can and do fail.
    Here's hoping.
    These are not what you'd describe as functional, lucid individuals in a normal world. There's an element of irrational indulgence in this.

  • @sneakytaze5336
    @sneakytaze5336 11 часов назад

    So basically like any Nordic country? The girl with the black hair I mean, hard to find the right people and connect in a society like Finland where personal space is a big deal, and people are very anti-social usually whenever meeting new people or in public.

  • @Nullifed787
    @Nullifed787 Месяц назад

    How I am hearing it is… The dilemma is about the money, there’s no other risks in freezing eggs. Why is it so debilitating?

    • @zoeredadams
      @zoeredadams Месяц назад +1

      there are risks. it can have significant complications

    • @LaitoChen
      @LaitoChen Месяц назад +2

      You need to read more about egg freezing. Its anything but risk free. And the success rate is under 20%

    • @JamesPain1203
      @JamesPain1203 19 дней назад

      It's a scam. The success rate is like 20%

  • @evelyna_paula1747
    @evelyna_paula1747 23 дня назад

    The Guardian has earnt a lot from the BBC. I think some of its employees are former BBC journlists.

  • @cofa4011
    @cofa4011 Месяц назад +19

    F this era...

  • @StutteringJourney-ic3sp
    @StutteringJourney-ic3sp 19 дней назад +3

    why is being a mother to a family, seen as a distraction?

    • @ithinkiknowme6450
      @ithinkiknowme6450 17 дней назад +6

      Because a woman has to do physical labour for her family 24/7 for free while a man can get paid by his boss and he can leave or cheat anytime he wants.. The amount of hardwork mothers put in the family can solely be represented by the fact that they can never have a secret second family...
      Women are at much higher risk in marriage and life due to men..

    • @StutteringJourney-ic3sp
      @StutteringJourney-ic3sp 17 дней назад +2

      @@ithinkiknowme6450 Ok, and a man can work his whole life and then the woman decides to divorce, take half of his money and take the kids. Both sides of a marriage can break down, that's why we must only mary people we love and trust....

    • @tunkytunky
      @tunkytunky 15 дней назад +4

      It can be, if you have hobbies/ goals. But as a mother, that stuff takes a backseat only while your children are toddlers. From about kindergarten age they're much easier to manage and since they're in school, it's easier to get back into the things you love or start working again. Even if you homeschool they become easy to deal with. My 11 year old just like to chill and read Harry Potter all day on the weekends, if I let her. A lot of non-moms don't seem to remember kids get more independent.
      I think in East Asia there is a problem in which women are often expected to taken care of their in-laws, so marriage becomes a prison in which she is enslaved to her mother- in-law. I've witnessed this first- hand! My husband's mother had to take care of her abusive mother in law all her life, even though she should have been "free" rather early since she only had one child. That's an easy problem to solve, just don't live with your in-laws and create strong boundaries (which is exactly what I did. Told my husband while we were still dating that I won't deal with his mom beyond the bare minimum. Saved A LOT of stress for me)

    • @StutteringJourney-ic3sp
      @StutteringJourney-ic3sp 15 дней назад +1

      @@tunkytunky I get that, thanks for sharing

  • @johnalver
    @johnalver Месяц назад +1

    You know the government could make safe drugs they just choose not too!

  • @omarleyaziafon6820
    @omarleyaziafon6820 Месяц назад

    Sorry someone gives me the title of the music played at 1:35....

  • @dlewis8405
    @dlewis8405 Месяц назад +12

    I have to agree with the male relative who advises against egg freezing because her subconscious will lead her astray. She will just put off addressing why she isn't having a child now, or at least earnestly finding a partner if a family is what she really wants.

    • @havealavalyday543
      @havealavalyday543 Месяц назад +5

      Or it might not make her put off addressing it, and it might be the safest decision for her.

  • @MiMiiViVi
    @MiMiiViVi Месяц назад +1

    We don't need more population growth. We are twice the limit now, There's nothing wrong with not having children and there are plenty of wonderful, orphaned children that need loving homes instead.

  • @robertmarley8852
    @robertmarley8852 Месяц назад +14

    She's a cat lady 🤣🤣😭🤣😭🤣🤠

    • @bevs9995
      @bevs9995 Месяц назад +1

      most millenials own dogs. This is just chinese media perpetuating misogyny... theyll come after the dogs soon tho

    • @limitlesky
      @limitlesky Месяц назад +11

      as if men don't have pet cats. I'm sure she would have a cat whether married or single.

    • @selfishgirlsgofirst
      @selfishgirlsgofirst Месяц назад +4

      how is that an insult??

    • @bevs9995
      @bevs9995 Месяц назад

      @@limitlesky Men die with dogs.. dogs keep the bed warm

    • @roymoxley2587
      @roymoxley2587 20 дней назад

      And she will stay a cat Lady

  • @FierBarca1899
    @FierBarca1899 Месяц назад +1

    A superb documentary.

  • @timaal5897
    @timaal5897 Месяц назад

    how is there a misspelling in the first minute of the video, did no one check it before it was published?

  • @azamarabear
    @azamarabear Месяц назад

    Wow😮

  • @FRAMEDSKATEKREW69
    @FRAMEDSKATEKREW69 7 дней назад

    they couldve just asked me nicely bro, 200k?
    i would do it for 20k
    or make me a stay at home dad taking care of the kid lol

  • @CharlesBliss84
    @CharlesBliss84 28 дней назад

    I feel like my ovaries are quite empty now.

  • @DavidZ4-gg3dm
    @DavidZ4-gg3dm Месяц назад +53

    At the same time, the world's poorest have a ridiculous number of kids, not caring that they can't provide for them.

    • @ChartreuseDan
      @ChartreuseDan Месяц назад +3

      "-watch your life slide out of view so you dance and drink and 🪛 because there's nothing else to do" - Jarvis Cocker

    • @elenarewd9299
      @elenarewd9299 Месяц назад +13

      Maybe the poorest are more worthy of having children than the richest…..

    • @everythingisfine9988
      @everythingisfine9988 Месяц назад +2

      @@elenarewd9299 Not if most (if not all) of those kids ⚰🪦

    • @dougmacgregor5053
      @dougmacgregor5053 Месяц назад +1

      @DavidZ4-gg3dm & everythingsfine9988
      "At the same time, the world's poorest have a ridiculous number of kids, not caring that they can't provide for them." Wow DavidZ4, do you ever have first world problems. And likely white too. They can't get an abortion because of their religion (sound familiar) they cant get birth control products, even condoms in many countries, again their religion and the society. Do you really believe that a mother and father don't care if their children are malnourished? Regardless of where they live, like maybe America? You've actually met such mothers, have you? You have no concept of what you just had to say about poor white people. You don't get it do you...

    • @mel_issa__
      @mel_issa__ Месяц назад +1

      ​Maybe that's why they have many children. Ever think of that? ​@@everythingisfine9988

  • @AtheistEve
    @AtheistEve Месяц назад +14

    Lovely. Now do a documentary showing two hundred women who absolutely love being single and child-free.

    • @user-px8gu8xs5h
      @user-px8gu8xs5h Месяц назад +4

      They did it’s call girls gone wild

    • @AtheistEve
      @AtheistEve Месяц назад +2

      @@user-px8gu8xs5h I’m talking about women, not girls. Women who have been living happy, full, rich, connected lives. There are many child-free and/or unmarried people who are thriving. We can all find the one or two examples of a small local problem. But let’s not get it out of proportion.

    • @ortros1
      @ortros1 Месяц назад +1

      ​@@AtheistEvedo you think most of the single people are happy, rich, well-connected and thriving? Don't get me wrong, there are also plenty of married people who are miserable; however I don't think it's a majority though. And I also agree with you (I'm assuming you mean this - even though you didn't express it out loud): marriage and parenthood aren't for everybody.

    • @jkc877
      @jkc877 Месяц назад +1

      @@AtheistEve they will always say they are happy even if they aren't

    • @AtheistEve
      @AtheistEve Месяц назад +1

      @@jkc877 If you are going to deny someone’s personal testimony, why would you bother to watch _any_ documentary like this one?
      Or, do you only accept someone’s personal testimony when it’s something you agree with?

  • @Sagewort0521
    @Sagewort0521 Месяц назад +9

    This video left out intentionally or not intentionally the leftover men (光棍)which dated way before the leftover women(剩女). And yes, the women are the ones choosing. In China, typically a woman ask a home (very expensive in China), a car (German ones preferred) and a large sum of cash (彩礼) payable to the woman's parents or the woman herself as the mandatory condition to get married. This problem is quite complicated with historical and social imbalance reasons. It is way more complex than the typicall western feminists' complaining of men supressing women situation.

  • @gardenjoy5223
    @gardenjoy5223 Месяц назад +9

    That family drives me crazy. She can't wait till 35, that's the problem. A female relative rather has it the 'natural' way. Yeah, SHE TOO. But you can't get her a matching husband out of the magic hat, now can you?

    • @grr5947
      @grr5947 Месяц назад +5

      If at 35 you are still waiting for the perfect Prince Charming sure, you can't

    • @gardenjoy5223
      @gardenjoy5223 Месяц назад +1

      @@grr5947 ??? "If at 35" ???
      That's years away here.

    • @Incog05
      @Incog05 24 дня назад +1

      ​@@grr5947the truth is that prince doesn't exist

  • @thecsucihai
    @thecsucihai Месяц назад +5

    China should find a way to export these modern Chinese women to Western countries. I hear a lot of Western men are going their own way seeking Asian women. Win win as president Xi would say.

    • @roymoxley2587
      @roymoxley2587 20 дней назад +1

      No you are really asking for some serious problems if you think these women are any better there 10 times worse

    • @JamesPain1203
      @JamesPain1203 19 дней назад +1

      No thank you. They're just like the women over here already which is why they are in the same situation as the woman here already

    • @kamome7098
      @kamome7098 6 часов назад

      All east Asia has below replacement birth rate

  • @tharunsankar4926
    @tharunsankar4926 6 дней назад +1

    W moment

  • @RoyFJ65
    @RoyFJ65 4 дня назад

    Better off not to be a mother of five from different men and discarded like in third world countries, one such country is right in Asia where pregnancy and that too by minors seems to be a national pastime and then abject poverty follows.

  • @st.6959
    @st.6959 16 дней назад

    I dont agree with ppl from other countries having babies on american soil for the passport..(I know thats not what theyre doing in this video but chinese women/families and others do this)

  • @Charruana1836
    @Charruana1836 Месяц назад +23

    A successful career woman is not going to want to settle for any man with a lower income than herself. And it takes time for her to build that success. And by that time she will be in her 30's. But why would a successful man want to try to start a family with an older less fertile 30's woman, when he has the means to support a beautiful younger 20's woman and children himself........ The differences is that a rich man can be happy with a poor woman... But, it don't work the other way around.. That is, a rich woman cannot be happy with a poor man..

    • @rpaafourever7908
      @rpaafourever7908 Месяц назад +10

      Over simplified..usual incel talk.. men need to learn to look within and become emotionally intelligent.. projecting blaming as reality check wont cut it anymore

    • @user-xx1jg2lh4j
      @user-xx1jg2lh4j Месяц назад +5

      Men have to realize that society sees us as stepping stones. We are no longer valued for our individuality. Instead of asking the government and women to value is we need to step away and live for ourselves. Let the government and women have society.

    • @zah936
      @zah936 Месяц назад +1

      The poor man will abuse the rich woman out of jealousy. That's the sole problem here

    • @Charruana1836
      @Charruana1836 Месяц назад +1

      @@zah936 .. unemployed men are not jealous about his employed wife

    • @lycan2494
      @lycan2494 Месяц назад +4

      @@rpaafourever7908 What rubbish are you spouting? LOL his comment is perfectly summarized. Women need to look in the mirror and self-reflect instead of blaming men all the time.

  • @miraadi97
    @miraadi97 Месяц назад +3

    What's co producer I think she meant partner for life or partner to get children not films related what translation is this even non Chinese people understands the sarcasm of societal pressures. Definitely work is brilliant showing nuances, dad doesn't opniates in open general and other male relatives being conservative and pressurising in decision making in family matters in living relationships with boyfriend wanting comitted and some fantasy involvement with the two characters, guardian misses on translation this time. Goddess of flowers to very very good mother to Not feeling that see existed with thay life, i think this is a baseline of every lay person and i need to read more on phenomenology 😂.

    • @gardenjoy5223
      @gardenjoy5223 Месяц назад

      Might well be, that she meant 'co-producer'. I understood it immediately. It means the other person necessary to be able to 'produce' a child.