It's not like before was better. Just listen to old people, the awful things they went through and the hardships... We always tend to look back and think life was better, but is wasn't... It's just our brain tricking us
This is very enlightening, I enjoyed it. Having a chinese friend really helped me understand the different mindset, she said she would get married because she feels obligated to do so, and not doing so would bring shame to her family. She also told me of how despite being well off, her mother's family she was treated because of the fact that she was a girl. So yes, I'm all for single women going ahead and having children on their own, no child deserves to be their grandparents' less loved relative, nor do women deserve to have to settle down in loveless marriages.
Had a conversation with a colleague of mine back when I was stationed in Beijing. I asked them "China has an excess of 40 million men in the population as compared to women. How come there are so much negative news about women not being able to find a partner?" Then my colleague replied "Yes, there is an excess of men, but there is a deficit of GOOD men." So, yea... can't really argue against that logic.
People have to realize that East Asia has this weird culture wherein before you get married, the guy should already have a house and the guy solely pays for the wedding. In addition, the guy pays for the household expenses. The woman's income is solely hers and for her parents' support. There was this video in Asian Boss where a Chinese girl clearly said in China the guys pay for everything and she's break up with a guy who makes her pay her share. As to how the common person will be able to buy a house by his 30's is beyond me. Such burden is impossible in modern society where cost of living has risen to unreasonable figures. Even in the US, couples can't afford to be single income households. This is the reason why birth rate is down in ALL of East Asia. I don't know why this is not being talked about.
@@hanispeace8006 by that faulty logic, if the woman can't find a husband that can pay all the bills and provide a house, then she doesn't have the right to bare children.
I realize that people are very active in criticizing single moms, but they say nothing about men who abandon his children and don't even pay child support. Single moms are way better than those irresponsible dads.
What the heck are you talking about? These men are criticized just the same. And, child support is a more complicated issue. If a man was tricked into conceiving a child or the woman is initiated a divorce, then these might be some situations where it is not just for a man to pay child support.
Each case is different but men that abandons women often are the handsome Chads that these women wanted to lock down. Sympathy for sure but hard to believe? No It is obvious. if an old man lose all his wealthy marrying a pro would we offer him the same level of sympathy? I dont think so.
@lenzi1345 why does it fall on the man if she doesn’t want to? If they are both married then the responsibility falls on both parents. If she is initiating divorce without just cause then she’s the one intentionally ending the family unit, and then she should be the one who should take on the financial burden of taking care of a child
When she cried during that one rare dialogue with her father , I felt her deep and cried my heart out ...😢😢 So many things lost , with little affection.
What is there to cry about? It's not that no man wants to marry these 30's career women. There are many poor men who want to marry her. The problem is that she is not ready to marry any of the poor men who want to marry her. She is ready to marry only rich men. And the rich men, whom she is trying to marry are not interested in marrying older 30's women like her. These rich men reject 30's career women and marry the younger 20's women. So, these 30's career women remain unmarried forever. In China, They are called leftover women.. And there are 100 million highly educated, high salary leftover women in China..
@@Barbourville2830 This, this right here, thank you. It seems a lot of goofballs in the comment section seem to not understand this 1 single bit because of their ego and wanting to blame men instead of holding women and their " decisions " accountable
8:44 "Humankind has no remedy for regret. You must remember this." I felt those words in my soul because of how they ring so true. This life is no dress rehearsal, there are no do-overs or "load last save" options. The decisions we make can shape one's life, for better or for worse.
This is the era where we can choose our own freedom to take care our body, health & financial. Marriage is a big step of sacrifice to these 3 things. It even depletes our time & mind. Be mindfulness to pick the choice because it is gonna drag you to the sadness or happiness.. Create your own path not follow others.
My husband and I are Chinese-American. We have 8 cats and 1 dog. We are expecting our first child next year at the age of 38. We spend very little time on social media. There's a lot of advice I could give but for now I want to say...if the world had less judgment and competition between people, and instead more unity and compassion, everyone will prosper.
this so parallels my life in the US as a single working woman. i wish for more but hard to make a life plan on your own. wishing you both much luck through your journey in life
The problem is that These 30's career women are only ready to marry men who are richer than herself, more educated than herself and getting more salary than herself.. But, these "top rich men" want to marry only 20's women. They don’t want to marry 30's career women. And these 30's career women are not willing to marry the poor men who are ready to marry her.. So, she remains unmarried forever.. while, The poor men go to the villages and marry poor women or marry women from Cambodia, Vietnam, Thailand, Philippines etc..
Egg freezing is a borderline scam. By and large it, it helps women to feel better but that's mostly it. Various journalist have been reporting on the industry, what they promise, what the success rate looks like, and even when happens to the patients after they freeze their eggs. Whenever there is money to be made on people that feel "desperate" for a solution, its worth looking deeper at those companies.
Incredibly well done, I rarely have seen such good documentaries it feels the most human and yet so cinematic I have seen to date so props to you Guardian, keep it up.
Everyone's solution for low birth rate is somehow creating more pressure on women instead of making reproductive care / fertility treatment more accessible. You got some states in USA going after IVF . Here you got China that was talking about low birth rate concerns making it difficult for women to access fertility care . Eventually they'll probably see a 4B situation like SK .
These 30's career women are only ready to men who are richer than herself, more educated than herself and getting more salary than herself.. But, these "rich men" want to marry only 20's women. They don’t want to marry 30's career women. And these 30's career women are not willing to marry the poor men who are ready to marry her.. So, she remains unmarried forever.. The poor men go to the villages and marry poor women or marry women from Cambodia, Vietnam, Thailand, Philippines etc..
@@Faylakah5481 Those "rich men" who want young girls are not genuine men anyway, they will cheat on their wives late. So unmarried 30 years old woman with a stable career and social life gonna be happier than being wives of those ungenuine men.
"Translator: William Clegg" I guess that explains some of the inaccuracies and mistranslations that don't quite fit what was spoken. Just one example: "he zuo huo ban" is better off translated as "co-partner" or "co-operative partner". "Co-producer" conjures up such a different image and impression of what was said.
@@user-sz3cy2sm2w Actually, she looks and especially acts exactly like the kind of person that would call her partner a "co-producer". (EDIT: which doesn't mean that it isn't an incorrect translation, of course!)
@@tiapina7048 I don't get it either + a literal translation is not always the best translation. She grinned right after as well, which seems to indicate she found what she said a bit funny, in that sense "co-producer" doesn't sound bad at all.
It's not even close to guaranteed. I believe the success rate is pretty low, maybe 20% for those trying to conceive using frozen eggs. It's not very successful usually.
@@nityasg2260 Yes of course we all know that, but overall for women who chose this path, it's usually unsuccessful. Also considering the cost, it should be a last resort IMO.
Impressive video on a complicated, emotional, topic. It's never been easy to find the "right" partner. These days of immense options, the idea of success is much harder to define. What is it to have family when trust is so fleeting, even with the best intentions.
We don't need more population growth. We are twice the limit now, There's nothing wrong with not having children and there are plenty of wonderful, orphaned children that need loving homes instead.
They weren't harsh or anything. Simply giving their advice on what they think would lead to their daughter(s) having happier lives. What's the problem with that?
that one guy had some serious well thought out n deep foresight. he knows exactly where this is going. they wont lower their standards or settle now cuz they think they have this plan b.... why cant people understand that peace, belonging & relationships are a choice that requires hard work and dedication.
This is a very interesting documentary. As a Western man who has no experience on this topic, I really felt for these ladies. They seemed genuine and longed to be mothers. I hope they attain their dreams.
It's not that no man wants to marry these 30's career women. There are many poor men who want to marry her. The problem is that she is not ready to marry any of the poor men who want to marry her. She is ready to marry only rich men. And the rich men, whom she is trying to marry are not interested in marrying older 30's women like her. These rich men reject 30's career women and marry the younger 20's women. So, these 30's career women remain unmarried forever. In China, They are called leftover women.. And there are 100 million highly educated, high salary leftover women in China.
They are wrapped up in the unique values of East Asia. I think this is something very deep. As an East Asian woman, I understand this feeling. We have a lot of anxiety about age and marriage and childbearing. Everyone in society will judge you, so seeing this really makes me feel very uncomfortable and heavy.
@@Barbourville2830Most women want to marry someone who is at least as intelligent and educated as they are. As a woman, intelligence is a huge turn on for me. I'm very educated and well travelled myself and don't typically find men who aren't those things attractive. Money doesn't really come into it (I have dated men who earn less than me); it's more about being able to have a decent conversation with someone.
I actually had a very hard time understanding the motivations of these two ladies. One admitted to not wanting to be a mother, but felt that it was her duty. The motivation of the second one wasn't very clear either, beyond "I'm getting old and I might one day regret not having kids". The documentary is well edited but at the end of the day I failed to understand the true reasons here. It also doesn't go into the legal details of the situation,which I fond very interesting. Surely pregnancy tourism like this is in a gray area legally? But there sems to be a whole industry of people profiting from it... That's an aspect they barely mention!
@@jnd5706... If the whole point is to get married and have a family with healthy children, what does a successful above 35+ year old woman have to offer a rich man that doesn't need or care about her salary or money?
The orange hair lady with one of her family members telling her that she'll regret it, come on...and the dark haired lady got cheated on by him? man, both of these women look nice to me, I think they would be nice to get to know if they also have the intended promise of a family.
@@letsdomath1750 oh her standards are high enough. He is not loyal because he has options, while an average chinese guy has no options. Biggest question is, can she lock him down and have him buy a ring, marry her.
@@natashadickson4819 unfaithful men is unfaithful for a reason, it means he is doing something right to have so many options, either tall, rich, has game, handsome etc. Women wont settle for a average man with average height, money, etc.
Modernity had brought many great advancements but also huge disruption-socially, culturally and economically. Traditions, norms, rituals have been swept away-some good, some bad-a sense of community lost and probably gone forever. It has left us many of us unmoored and desperately, desperately lonely. Rampant materialism does not help. These two women are not happy. In fact they seem sad.
It's still better than staying or being trapped I'm abusive relationships. Remember in the past women were firced and rped in marriages and were not even able to divorce so current time is better 😊
It's still better than staying or being trapped I'm abusive relationships. Remember in the past women were firced and rped in marriages and were not even able to divorce so current time is better 😊
@@katinkaraab1964 No, that isn't what I'm saying-that's one of those 'so you're saying' platitudes you are using. That's a bad faith argument. You are trying to put words in my mouth. You must try and be more nuanced in arguments and less reflexively ideological.
If I were a guy, I might live a happier life than right now. Wrong. You are not happy because you change your life to be like men life. You work like a men, you pursue career like a men. You change every traditional women thing to be modern women so you can be living like men. You see men like they have no problem. They actually stresful. They just don't tell it to others. Men don't complain alot in social media. So you can't see their sorrow. When you change yourselves to be like men (modern women), you get the feel of men sorrow. Men even don't want to go work actually, they want to relax at home, playing game, eating. But you women are jealous of men working and want to go work like men. Then when you work, you feel stressful and want to be men. What the heck.
Abu's cats are so adorably fluffy! I hope both women find satisfaction in life whether or not marriage or children happen. It is rare to have everything you want and be content.
So basically like any Nordic country? The girl with the black hair I mean, hard to find the right people and connect in a society like Finland where personal space is a big deal, and people are very anti-social usually whenever meeting new people or in public.
On the one hand, it is a way of feeling secure in this world occupied by the limited-minded humanity. On the other hand this is far too hurtful: I wish women could just feel free and happy - no matter what!-with or without a child. It is just a child in a world, where so many children are suffering.
This is the male perspective... The poor Chinese men go to the villages and marry poor women or marry women from Cambodia, Vietnam, Thailand, Philippines etc.. These 30's career women are only ready to men who are richer than herself, more educated than herself and getting more salary than herself.. But, these "rich men" want to marry only 20's women. They don’t want to marry 30's career women. And these 30's career women are not willing to marry the poor men who are ready to marry her.. So, she remains unmarried forever..
@@Faylakah5481 Over simplified.. men need to learn to look within and become emotionally intelligent.. projecting blaming as reality check wont cut it anymore
I felt for Abi when they were versing her with the visa. I totally understand as governments have to be careful and screen people....but she doesnt deserve that hard time either....
I have to agree with the male relative who advises against egg freezing because her subconscious will lead her astray. She will just put off addressing why she isn't having a child now, or at least earnestly finding a partner if a family is what she really wants.
What not rather go to Japan, its closer and possibly cheaper than paying in dollars. A lady who lives in South Korea also could get fertility treatment then she went to Japan to do it. I think it's even better to go to Australia.
This video left out intentionally or not intentionally the leftover men (光棍）which dated way before the leftover women(剩女). And yes, the women are the ones choosing. In China, typically a woman ask a home (very expensive in China), a car (German ones preferred) and a large sum of cash (彩礼) payable to the woman's parents or the woman herself as the mandatory condition to get married. This problem is quite complicated with historical and social imbalance reasons. It is way more complex than the typicall western feminists' complaining of men supressing women situation.
They are wrapped up in the unique values of East Asia. I think this is something very deep. As an East Asian woman, I understand this feeling. We have a lot of anxiety about age and marriage and childbearing. Everyone in society will judge you, so seeing this really makes me feel very uncomfortable and heavy.🥲Living abroad for so long I feel like I've escaped from this culture, but this video really makes me depressed
Beautiful. This is a difficult and excruciating time for women, without much guidance support or sympathy, women feel really lost. I'm 37 now. The period between 31-35 was especially stressful and ultimately, humiliating. Why
@@Youwish34adopting a child is not as simple as buying smartphone from online store. You will be surprised with the adopted child later in life because she/he is not genetically similar with you, expect a surprise comes from her/his personality.
Watching a Chinese family having dinner together is suffocating. It's like putting on a show. You become unwanted when you don't play your part and keep up the appearance.
The more people do IVF the more the technology will improve. Maybe today the frozen eggs aren’t that successful but in the future the technology improves. Eggs can bre frozen for a very long time
For you guys Asking Why Women over 30 considered as leftover women. But nothing negative stigma goes to men over 30. From the data the fertility women over 30 decreasing fast. It is even reaching under 5% fertility in the age of 40. It happen eventhough the women are healthy. While men don't have that matter as long as they can maintain health. Even men over 50 or even over 70 still can make women pregnant. In my countries there are many men over 50 marry to girl in early 20, and they are still able to have babies. There are also men over 70 that married young girl and have babies. 🤣
@DavidZ4-gg3dm & everythingsfine9988 "At the same time, the world's poorest have a ridiculous number of kids, not caring that they can't provide for them." Wow DavidZ4, do you ever have first world problems. And likely white too. They can't get an abortion because of their religion (sound familiar) they cant get birth control products, even condoms in many countries, again their religion and the society. Do you really believe that a mother and father don't care if their children are malnourished? Regardless of where they live, like maybe America? You've actually met such mothers, have you? You have no concept of what you just had to say about poor white people. You don't get it do you...
The real question is who is this suitable giy they will suddenly come across in their mid to late 30s. If the guy hasn't come acress by now. What makes you thing he'll suddenly fall. From the skies when you're older.
@@MEADiazsame here! healthy children with 37 and mid 40ies you have to have faith and believe that is possible but some don’t believe, like the one in this comment
@@MEADiaz do you think that's realistic for most women in this situation, or your'e just spouting this " HOPE" nonsense because you don't care about the world at large, outside of your personal experience
@@victoriaporsiempre yes! It definitely can. I never wanted marry young, as the oldest of seven children I saw how much my mother went through, she married at 17 and I promised myself to never do that
I dont agree with ppl from other countries having babies on american soil for the passport..(I know thats not what theyre doing in this video but chinese women/families and others do this)
A successful career woman is not going to want to settle for any man with a lower income than herself. And it takes time for her to build that success. And by that time she will be in her 30's. But why would a successful man want to try to start a family with an older less fertile 30's woman, when he has the means to support a beautiful younger 20's woman and children himself........ The differences is that a rich man can be happy with a poor woman... But, it don't work the other way around.. That is, a rich woman cannot be happy with a poor man..
Over simplified..usual incel talk.. men need to learn to look within and become emotionally intelligent.. projecting blaming as reality check wont cut it anymore
@@rpaafourever7908 What rubbish are you spouting? LOL his comment is perfectly summarized. Women need to look in the mirror and self-reflect instead of blaming men all the time.
Single Women need to live a quality life. Spouseless Life is not bad. The great advantage is to have wisdom in how you plan out your life to be Poor Life or Rich Life. Don't spend one's life worrying and stuck. Plan To Be Rich. Adopt an quality child so one have company. Invest in a child. Invest in your business so one is not worry for life. Put the generational wealth fund so one is busy in building and growing it and put it into a trust. One can build several trust fund and have more childrens. One can still have or build a family without men.
Egg storage facilities can and do fail. Here's hoping. These are not what you'd describe as functional, lucid individuals in a normal world. There's an element of irrational indulgence in this.
The influencer reminds me of something I have read recently:
This is the generation with the happiest pictures and the saddest lives.
It's not like before was better. Just listen to old people, the awful things they went through and the hardships... We always tend to look back and think life was better, but is wasn't... It's just our brain tricking us
@@blbjg5294True. Some things were always better than past while some things are always better than past.
In Chinas Case things are alllllllloooottt better. There gdp was worse than Indias at one point.
@@blbjg5294 Yes. Same as before.
Ain’t that the truth….
I found this documentary to be more engaging due to the cinematic storytelling. Well done to all involved!
I like China id def go visit soak up the culture
The ending with the flame burning low and then petering out is very a poignant reminder that time takes no prisoners.
Indeed
"Humanity has no remedy for regret"
Wow, that hit hard.
This is very enlightening, I enjoyed it. Having a chinese friend really helped me understand the different mindset, she said she would get married because she feels obligated to do so, and not doing so would bring shame to her family. She also told me of how despite being well off, her mother's family she was treated because of the fact that she was a girl. So yes, I'm all for single women going ahead and having children on their own, no child deserves to be their grandparents' less loved relative, nor do women deserve to have to settle down in loveless marriages.
Had a conversation with a colleague of mine back when I was stationed in Beijing. I asked them "China has an excess of 40 million men in the population as compared to women. How come there are so much negative news about women not being able to find a partner?" Then my colleague replied "Yes, there is an excess of men, but there is a deficit of GOOD men." So, yea... can't really argue against that logic.
Exactly 💯
Better to stay single than staying in unhealthy relationship.
Its just Chinese women are picky and want the top 10%.
All women thinks this way.
They all think they can do better.
Stunning documentary. Congratulations to the film makers and best wishes to the two women.
People have to realize that East Asia has this weird culture wherein before you get married, the guy should already have a house and the guy solely pays for the wedding. In addition, the guy pays for the household expenses. The woman's income is solely hers and for her parents' support. There was this video in Asian Boss where a Chinese girl clearly said in China the guys pay for everything and she's break up with a guy who makes her pay her share. As to how the common person will be able to buy a house by his 30's is beyond me.
Such burden is impossible in modern society where cost of living has risen to unreasonable figures. Even in the US, couples can't afford to be single income households.
This is the reason why birth rate is down in ALL of East Asia. I don't know why this is not being talked about.
Not a weird culture though, its a man responsibility. If you cant take the responsibility means you cant afford to get married.
So, take it up with the government, don’t blame the women. They are as much of a victim as the men.
@@hanispeace8006😂 total b s
@@hanispeace8006 by that faulty logic, if the woman can't find a husband that can pay all the bills and provide a house, then she doesn't have the right to bare children.
"Weird" Culture?? have you watched Jerry Springer?
What a beautifully made documentary. You rarely come across something of this quality. Plus - it is well edited.
I realize that people are very active in criticizing single moms, but they say nothing about men who abandon his children and don't even pay child support. Single moms are way better than those irresponsible dads.
What the heck are you talking about? These men are criticized just the same. And, child support is a more complicated issue. If a man was tricked into conceiving a child or the woman is initiated a divorce, then these might be some situations where it is not just for a man to pay child support.
@lenzi1345 he should be given the choice if he wants to pay or not. Which part of it is absurd ?
@@tigerbear3038 His kids too. What logic is this?
Each case is different but men that abandons women often are the handsome Chads that these women wanted to lock down. Sympathy for sure but hard to believe? No It is obvious. if an old man lose all his wealthy marrying a pro would we offer him the same level of sympathy? I dont think so.
@lenzi1345 why does it fall on the man if she doesn’t want to? If they are both married then the responsibility falls on both parents. If she is initiating divorce without just cause then she’s the one intentionally ending the family unit, and then she should be the one who should take on the financial burden of taking care of a child
When she cried during that one rare dialogue with her father , I felt her deep and cried my heart out ...😢😢
So many things lost , with little affection.
What is there to cry about? It's not that no man wants to marry these 30's career women. There are many poor men who want to marry her. The problem is that she is not ready to marry any of the poor men who want to marry her. She is ready to marry only rich men. And the rich men, whom she is trying to marry are not interested in marrying older 30's women like her. These rich men reject 30's career women and marry the younger 20's women. So, these 30's career women remain unmarried forever. In China, They are called leftover women.. And there are 100 million highly educated, high salary leftover women in China..
@@Barbourville2830 This, this right here, thank you. It seems a lot of goofballs in the comment section seem to not understand this 1 single bit because of their ego and wanting to blame men instead of holding women and their " decisions " accountable
@@Barbourville2830exactly she played herself
All the incel microsphere bros in your replies 💀
@@saharkhalili5303 Hmm, I'm not an incel my friend, stating facts doesn't make 1 an incel but bashing those who speak those facts does
8:44 "Humankind has no remedy for regret. You must remember this."
I felt those words in my soul because of how they ring so true. This life is no dress rehearsal, there are no do-overs or "load last save" options. The decisions we make can shape one's life, for better or for worse.
This should be a mandatory read for all post-modern feminists and incels
This is the era where we can choose our own freedom to take care our body, health & financial. Marriage is a big step of sacrifice to these 3 things. It even depletes our time & mind. Be mindfulness to pick the choice because it is gonna drag you to the sadness or happiness.. Create your own path not follow others.
Freeze your eggs do not be rushed into marriage
My husband and I are Chinese-American. We have 8 cats and 1 dog. We are expecting our first child next year at the age of 38. We spend very little time on social media. There's a lot of advice I could give but for now I want to say...if the world had less judgment and competition between people, and instead more unity and compassion, everyone will prosper.
I love it when you mentioned you had 8 cats ❤ I am a cat parent too 😊
Haya, 38 for first child???
Congratulations 🎉 I'm expecting my first at 36 😊
@@whatrtheodds Congrats to you as well 🎊 I hope you are doing well on your life's journeys 💜
@@timetravellergec2043 this is more common now
this so parallels my life in the US as a single working woman. i wish for more but hard to make a life plan on your own. wishing you both much luck through your journey in life
The problem is that These 30's career women are only ready to marry men who are richer than herself, more educated than herself and getting more salary than herself.. But, these "top rich men" want to marry only 20's women. They don’t want to marry 30's career women. And these 30's career women are not willing to marry the poor men who are ready to marry her.. So, she remains unmarried forever.. while, The poor men go to the villages and marry poor women or marry women from Cambodia, Vietnam, Thailand, Philippines etc..
Sending love and positivity from 🇦🇺🤗 life has a way of surprising us, wishing you the best.
@@Faylakah5481 Search about divorce rates of those marriages 2 & 5 years after those women get green card.
@@Faylakah5481 incel
@@suziepickes702 im curious, what do you think is the reason for the problem?
Egg freezing is a borderline scam. By and large it, it helps women to feel better but that's mostly it.
Various journalist have been reporting on the industry, what they promise, what the success rate looks like, and even when happens to the patients after they freeze their eggs. Whenever there is money to be made on people that feel "desperate" for a solution, its worth looking deeper at those companies.
Losing a mother is grief like no other
Incredibly well done, I rarely have seen such good documentaries it feels the most human and yet so cinematic I have seen to date so props to you Guardian, keep it up.
That's ridiculous that it's illegal there to freeze your eggs if you're not married.
It's an oppressive law by and oppressive lawmaking society.
Everyone's solution for low birth rate is somehow creating more pressure on women instead of making reproductive care / fertility treatment more accessible. You got some states in USA going after IVF . Here you got China that was talking about low birth rate concerns making it difficult for women to access fertility care . Eventually they'll probably see a 4B situation like SK .
It should be illegal.
It's a symptom of an oppressive society
conservative countries behave like that
Chinese womem are doing great. Its infinity times better than being stuck in incompatible relationship like my aunts they are tortured in marriage
Do these women look happy to you?
Yes... Definitely more than the ones stuck in an unwanted marriage
These 30's career women are only ready to men who are richer than herself, more educated than herself and getting more salary than herself.. But, these "rich men" want to marry only 20's women. They don’t want to marry 30's career women. And these 30's career women are not willing to marry the poor men who are ready to marry her.. So, she remains unmarried forever.. The poor men go to the villages and marry poor women or marry women from Cambodia, Vietnam, Thailand, Philippines etc..
@@Faylakah5481 Those "rich men" who want young girls are not genuine men anyway, they will cheat on their wives late. So unmarried 30 years old woman with a stable career and social life gonna be happier than being wives of those ungenuine men.
@@Faylakah5481 Wise women would not want those men anyway
A disillusioned generation, our younger citizens were raise in a very optimistic period, but in their formative years everything is going worse.
"Humankind has no remedy for regret." Well-spoken.
Would love a documentary playlist @Guardian
No problem, here it is: ruclips.net/p/PLa_1MA_DEorG7slzdtQy_SUTn5cACKFsn
@@theGuardian Ask and theGuardian shall deliver!
"Translator: William Clegg"
I guess that explains some of the inaccuracies and mistranslations that don't quite fit what was spoken.
Just one example: "he zuo huo ban" is better off translated as "co-partner" or "co-operative partner". "Co-producer" conjures up such a different image and impression of what was said.
@@user-sz3cy2sm2w Actually, she looks and especially acts exactly like the kind of person that would call her partner a "co-producer". (EDIT: which doesn't mean that it isn't an incorrect translation, of course!)
Oooooh ok that does change the vibe.
I don't understand. Why the name of the translator gives you an explanation about the translation?
@@sunbather1576 I thought the same!!
@@tiapina7048 I don't get it either + a literal translation is not always the best translation. She grinned right after as well, which seems to indicate she found what she said a bit funny, in that sense "co-producer" doesn't sound bad at all.
This was deep, honest, real, and informative about today's human condition/experience. Thank you.
This is deep. I hope the film makers continue to work together. Fantastic. Thank you
7:07 the parents are right. Freezing eggs is not 100% guaranteed.
Nothing in life is 100% guaranteed..
Exactly
It's not even close to guaranteed. I believe the success rate is pretty low, maybe 20% for those trying to conceive using frozen eggs. It's not very successful usually.
@@Ffollies Depends on the number of eggs frozen & the age.
@@nityasg2260 Yes of course we all know that, but overall for women who chose this path, it's usually unsuccessful. Also considering the cost, it should be a last resort IMO.
Cinematic. Beautifully shot and directed.
Impressive video on a complicated, emotional, topic.
It's never been easy to find the "right" partner. These days of immense options, the idea of success is much harder to define.
What is it to have family when trust is so fleeting, even with the best intentions.
any path to going back to a world of fewer options and more pragmatism in one's choices?
'Co-producer' In a few words, everything is said...
We don't need more population growth. We are twice the limit now, There's nothing wrong with not having children and there are plenty of wonderful, orphaned children that need loving homes instead.
Thanks for making this dosumentary and uploading it. It's really interesting and touching.
This is brilliantly put together! Well Done The Guardian.
There are things you just don't tell your family. Specially when you already know they'll be against it.
They weren't harsh or anything. Simply giving their advice on what they think would lead to their daughter(s) having happier lives. What's the problem with that?
that one guy had some serious well thought out n deep foresight. he knows exactly where this is going. they wont lower their standards or settle now cuz they think they have this plan b.... why cant people understand that peace, belonging & relationships are a choice that requires hard work and dedication.
I agree. His point of her using this method and pushing the need to find a compatible partner sooner holds true.
Your advice is actually horrible. This won't end well. She is delaying the inevitable.
This is a very interesting documentary. As a Western man who has no experience on this topic, I really felt for these ladies. They seemed genuine and longed to be mothers. I hope they attain their dreams.
It's not that no man wants to marry these 30's career women. There are many poor men who want to marry her. The problem is that she is not ready to marry any of the poor men who want to marry her. She is ready to marry only rich men. And the rich men, whom she is trying to marry are not interested in marrying older 30's women like her. These rich men reject 30's career women and marry the younger 20's women. So, these 30's career women remain unmarried forever. In China, They are called leftover women.. And there are 100 million highly educated, high salary leftover women in China.
They are wrapped up in the unique values of East Asia. I think this is something very deep. As an East Asian woman, I understand this feeling. We have a lot of anxiety about age and marriage and childbearing. Everyone in society will judge you, so seeing this really makes me feel very uncomfortable and heavy.
@@Barbourville2830Most women want to marry someone who is at least as intelligent and educated as they are. As a woman, intelligence is a huge turn on for me. I'm very educated and well travelled myself and don't typically find men who aren't those things attractive. Money doesn't really come into it (I have dated men who earn less than me); it's more about being able to have a decent conversation with someone.
I actually had a very hard time understanding the motivations of these two ladies. One admitted to not wanting to be a mother, but felt that it was her duty. The motivation of the second one wasn't very clear either, beyond "I'm getting old and I might one day regret not having kids".
The documentary is well edited but at the end of the day I failed to understand the true reasons here. It also doesn't go into the legal details of the situation,which I fond very interesting. Surely pregnancy tourism like this is in a gray area legally? But there sems to be a whole industry of people profiting from it... That's an aspect they barely mention!
@@jnd5706... If the whole point is to get married and have a family with healthy children, what does a successful above 35+ year old woman have to offer a rich man that doesn't need or care about her salary or money?
4:33 As a Tianjin native, hearing her say "today" in that thick authentic Tianjin accent was 👌👌👌👌👌
It ain’t the 60’s no more. Women are independent, and the pipe and slippers days are well and truly over.
Women? Independent? In China? HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!
@@yadusolparterre Yes. And that makes you mad?
A woman ain't single and lonely because she is Strong and Independent.. She is lonely because Nobody wants To Deal with her..
@Rhodohypoxis7482 does the same thing go for the millions of American men who are suicidal due to being lonely and sexless?
Niiiice @@DeniDays312
can anyone explain what the random guy at 11:00 says?
I want to know that too.
I think he’s saying “来拍直播呢”, which translates to “Oh she’s doing livestream now”
@@cashmeoussai1061 thanks!
i think he's saying "她拍直播的" (She is filming a livestream)
He's clearly commenting on her 直播 (Livestream), but it's a bit hard to tell since you really only hear a couple words in the sentence.
The orange hair lady with one of her family members telling her that she'll regret it, come on...and the dark haired lady got cheated on by him? man, both of these women look nice to me, I think they would be nice to get to know if they also have the intended promise of a family.
Their standards are very high. Average chinese women are looking for a top 20% guy at minnimum.
@@wl6020 The influencer had a partner already. He was not loyal. Her standards were not high enough.
@@letsdomath1750 oh her standards are high enough. He is not loyal because he has options, while an average chinese guy has no options. Biggest question is, can she lock him down and have him buy a ring, marry her.
@@wl6020 Don't lock down an unfaithful man. Let him go.
@@natashadickson4819 unfaithful men is unfaithful for a reason, it means he is doing something right to have so many options, either tall, rich, has game, handsome etc. Women wont settle for a average man with average height, money, etc.
Excellent work and so informative.
4:17 his reaction is kinda messed up. she should ditch him. so many men even in their 30s want to play around and never have responsibilities.
If she was wife material then he would have married her already.
Brilliantly moving and touching film. This is what documentary can do.
Modernity had brought many great advancements but also huge disruption-socially, culturally and economically. Traditions, norms, rituals have been swept away-some good, some bad-a sense of community lost and probably gone forever. It has left us many of us unmoored and desperately, desperately lonely. Rampant materialism does not help. These two women are not happy. In fact they seem sad.
You mean, it would be better to still female Babys? Like they did in China?
It's still better than staying or being trapped I'm abusive relationships. Remember in the past women were firced and rped in marriages and were not even able to divorce so current time is better 😊
It's still better than staying or being trapped I'm abusive relationships. Remember in the past women were firced and rped in marriages and were not even able to divorce so current time is better 😊
In the past women were not able to leave abusive relationship and it's better to stay single than being stuck in an incompatible relationship..😊
@@katinkaraab1964 No, that isn't what I'm saying-that's one of those 'so you're saying' platitudes you are using. That's a bad faith argument. You are trying to put words in my mouth. You must try and be more nuanced in arguments and less reflexively ideological.
The art🎨🎭 the talent ❤ the skill. Thankyou for doing such quality work for this documentary!!!! I was so invested while watching.🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
Beautiful piece. Cinematic. Enjoyed it ❤
If I were a guy, I might live a happier life than right now.
Wrong.
You are not happy because you change your life to be like men life. You work like a men, you pursue career like a men. You change every traditional women thing to be modern women so you can be living like men.
You see men like they have no problem. They actually stresful. They just don't tell it to others. Men don't complain alot in social media. So you can't see their sorrow. When you change yourselves to be like men (modern women), you get the feel of men sorrow.
Men even don't want to go work actually, they want to relax at home, playing game, eating.
But you women are jealous of men working and want to go work like men. Then when you work, you feel stressful and want to be men. What the heck.
Abu's cats are so adorably fluffy! I hope both women find satisfaction in life whether or not marriage or children happen. It is rare to have everything you want and be content.
That's why they are single. They're holding out for the perfect man who doesn't exist.
this was really well done
Dramatic. But most of these procedures aren't successful.
Beautifully made and so poignant
So basically like any Nordic country? The girl with the black hair I mean, hard to find the right people and connect in a society like Finland where personal space is a big deal, and people are very anti-social usually whenever meeting new people or in public.
On the one hand, it is a way of feeling secure in this world occupied by the limited-minded humanity. On the other hand this is far too hurtful: I wish women could just feel free and happy - no matter what!-with or without a child. It is just a child in a world, where so many children are suffering.
should do one from the Male perspective.. it will be interesting to see the similarities and contrast..
This is the male perspective... The poor Chinese men go to the villages and marry poor women or marry women from Cambodia, Vietnam, Thailand, Philippines etc.. These 30's career women are only ready to men who are richer than herself, more educated than herself and getting more salary than herself.. But, these "rich men" want to marry only 20's women. They don’t want to marry 30's career women. And these 30's career women are not willing to marry the poor men who are ready to marry her.. So, she remains unmarried forever..
@Fontana5481 what documentary did you see that in?
@@DeniDays312. RUclips. "Leftover woman."
LOL the guardian is anti-male.
@@Faylakah5481 Over simplified.. men need to learn to look within and become emotionally intelligent.. projecting blaming as reality check wont cut it anymore
that bit where she told the family was so intense, i had to pause to take a breather.
I felt for Abi when they were versing her with the visa. I totally understand as governments have to be careful and screen people....but she doesnt deserve that hard time either....
Not sure why they told her she couldn't get pregnant with pcos. My mum was able to have me through ivf and conceive my sister naturally.
These are very real, very human people
This was beautifully done
I had no idea the more you age the more you miss your loved ones . It sometimes is a hard feeling to deal with.
No one can have it all. Not men. Not women.
I planned to have kids before 30. But, I am busy to pursue my career. Then now I am 40.
That's the world I often find from women. 🐱
I have to agree with the male relative who advises against egg freezing because her subconscious will lead her astray. She will just put off addressing why she isn't having a child now, or at least earnestly finding a partner if a family is what she really wants.
Or it might not make her put off addressing it, and it might be the safest decision for her.
1:12 what is happening rn?
What not rather go to Japan, its closer and possibly cheaper than paying in dollars. A lady who lives in South Korea also could get fertility treatment then she went to Japan to do it. I think it's even better to go to Australia.
because usa gives passport to child australian and japan doesn't
😢such a lack of supportive family
Great documentary!
We all complain about things not happening in our lives but fail to look beyond our biases that may have role in perpetuating those failed plans.
I love how in the other comments say "this is our choice" "for independence" "free women" yet at the same time: lonely & depressed
@@notjohnnyricolike any men that cheats
In this world pets have more rights than women, let that sink in.
freezing your eggs is no big deal. a bad marriage can cut years off your life. Is divorce somehow better? Looks just as embarrassing to me.
10:45 what did that man say?
I think this will be more common going into the future based on the direction we're heading
The Guardian has earnt a lot from the BBC. I think some of its employees are former BBC journlists.
well done!
Sorry someone gives me the title of the music played at 1:35....
This was a great documentary.
This is so beautiful. I love this woman and her brother and their mother. They are divine to me.
Fertility tourism is a global issue, this is happening practically everywhere in the world right now
What alovely and moving piece and it speaks to oppression.
This video left out intentionally or not intentionally the leftover men (光棍）which dated way before the leftover women(剩女). And yes, the women are the ones choosing. In China, typically a woman ask a home (very expensive in China), a car (German ones preferred) and a large sum of cash (彩礼) payable to the woman's parents or the woman herself as the mandatory condition to get married. This problem is quite complicated with historical and social imbalance reasons. It is way more complex than the typicall western feminists' complaining of men supressing women situation.
They are wrapped up in the unique values of East Asia. I think this is something very deep. As an East Asian woman, I understand this feeling. We have a lot of anxiety about age and marriage and childbearing. Everyone in society will judge you, so seeing this really makes me feel very uncomfortable and heavy.🥲Living abroad for so long I feel like I've escaped from this culture, but this video really makes me depressed
How long does a loving couple need to put off marriage for? They're adorable together.
Beautiful. This is a difficult and excruciating time for women, without much guidance support or sympathy, women feel really lost. I'm 37 now. The period between 31-35 was especially stressful and ultimately, humiliating. Why
Time ran out
Why didn’t you travel and further your education. Volunteer in your community. Adopted or foster children?
😂 the audacity. You don't know anything about me, you're projecting
@@saharkhalili5303 you are the one saying women feel really lost. Why do you speak of all women? Women you are the one projecting 😂.
@@Youwish34adopting a child is not as simple as buying smartphone from online store. You will be surprised with the adopted child later in life because she/he is not genetically similar with you, expect a surprise comes from her/his personality.
Watching a Chinese family having dinner together is suffocating. It's like putting on a show. You become unwanted when you don't play your part and keep up the appearance.
What about ADOPTION?
A superb documentary.
The more people do IVF the more the technology will improve. Maybe today the frozen eggs aren’t that successful but in the future the technology improves. Eggs can bre frozen for a very long time
For you guys Asking Why Women over 30 considered as leftover women. But nothing negative stigma goes to men over 30. From the data the fertility women over 30 decreasing fast. It is even reaching under 5% fertility in the age of 40. It happen eventhough the women are healthy.
While men don't have that matter as long as they can maintain health. Even men over 50 or even over 70 still can make women pregnant. In my countries there are many men over 50 marry to girl in early 20, and they are still able to have babies. There are also men over 70 that married young girl and have babies. 🤣
This is just like a movie.
Voice over in english and no music
I feel so lucky to have a family this could easily have been me. I hope they will find their happiness
At the same time, the world's poorest have a ridiculous number of kids, not caring that they can't provide for them.
"-watch your life slide out of view so you dance and drink and 🪛 because there's nothing else to do" - Jarvis Cocker
Maybe the poorest are more worthy of having children than the richest…..
@@elenarewd9299 Not if most (if not all) of those kids ⚰🪦
@DavidZ4-gg3dm & everythingsfine9988
"At the same time, the world's poorest have a ridiculous number of kids, not caring that they can't provide for them." Wow DavidZ4, do you ever have first world problems. And likely white too. They can't get an abortion because of their religion (sound familiar) they cant get birth control products, even condoms in many countries, again their religion and the society. Do you really believe that a mother and father don't care if their children are malnourished? Regardless of where they live, like maybe America? You've actually met such mothers, have you? You have no concept of what you just had to say about poor white people. You don't get it do you...
Maybe that's why they have many children. Ever think of that? @@everythingisfine9988
The real question is who is this suitable giy they will suddenly come across in their mid to late 30s. If the guy hasn't come acress by now. What makes you thing he'll suddenly fall. From the skies when you're older.
I met my husband at 36 and became naturally pregnant at 40. He was worth the wait, would not change anything
@@MEADiazsame here! healthy children with 37 and mid 40ies
you have to have faith and believe that is possible
but some don’t believe, like the one in this comment
@@MEADiaz do you think that's realistic for most women in this situation, or your'e just spouting this
" HOPE" nonsense because you don't care about the world at large, outside of your personal experience
@@jephteyiphtah3458 yes actually. Many are getting married older. If you want to marry young, do you, be happy but let others do the same
@@victoriaporsiempre yes! It definitely can. I never wanted marry young, as the oldest of seven children I saw how much my mother went through, she married at 17 and I promised myself to never do that
I dont agree with ppl from other countries having babies on american soil for the passport..(I know thats not what theyre doing in this video but chinese women/families and others do this)
A successful career woman is not going to want to settle for any man with a lower income than herself. And it takes time for her to build that success. And by that time she will be in her 30's. But why would a successful man want to try to start a family with an older less fertile 30's woman, when he has the means to support a beautiful younger 20's woman and children himself........ The differences is that a rich man can be happy with a poor woman... But, it don't work the other way around.. That is, a rich woman cannot be happy with a poor man..
Over simplified..usual incel talk.. men need to learn to look within and become emotionally intelligent.. projecting blaming as reality check wont cut it anymore
The poor man will abuse the rich woman out of jealousy. That's the sole problem here
@@zah936 .. unemployed men are not jealous about his employed wife
@@rpaafourever7908 What rubbish are you spouting? LOL his comment is perfectly summarized. Women need to look in the mirror and self-reflect instead of blaming men all the time.
@@rpaafourever7908 Also stop copy-pasting the same comment on other posts too.
I prefer FRESH Eggs over Frozen ones.
Single Women need to live a quality life. Spouseless Life is not bad. The great advantage is to have wisdom in how you plan out your life to be Poor Life or Rich Life. Don't spend one's life worrying and stuck. Plan To Be Rich. Adopt an quality child so one have company. Invest in a child. Invest in your business so one is not worry for life. Put the generational wealth fund so one is busy in building and growing it and put it into a trust. One can build several trust fund and have more childrens. One can still have or build a family without men.
她的情况跟我差不多，但父亲比我的父亲好。我父亲嘴里永远不会说出那么好的话来。断子绝孙也挺好的。
Egg storage facilities can and do fail.
Here's hoping.
These are not what you'd describe as functional, lucid individuals in a normal world. There's an element of irrational indulgence in this.
What does the boyfriend even mean that he thinks the influencer is like a "little boy"?
You know the government could make safe drugs they just choose not too!
Drugs for what exactly