Inside the Reverse Aging Community
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- Опубликовано: 7 сен 2024
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Hi! I'm Shaniya but I use the moniker Shanspeare on RUclips. I'm 24, use they/them pronouns, and love all things pop culture! My channel has a lot going on: think Shakespeare meets Baz Luhrmann meets insufferable jester in a relevant but silly costume. I have a bachelor's in English Professional Writing (and basically Literary Analysis--long story) which aids me in the creation of my content. Above all, I wish to emphasize teachability and critical engagement through a fun lens.
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beauty trends, selfcare, skincare routine, glass skin, antiaging, antiaging skincare, bryan johnson, beauty secrets, tiktok, tiktok skincare, beauty routine, maintenance week, beauty maintenance, video essay, commentary channel, pretty privilege, beauty subliminal, buccal fat removal, aesthetic
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Can you add your source material and stuff to the most recent video? There were some scientific journals you reference and I want to read them, because they sound like cool journals.
In my opinion.
People who want to live forever are either ignorant to the idea of the Soul's
transitioning after leaving the body. They basically have no faith & can't comprehend
any possibilities that involve themselves existing outside of the physical realm.
or.........
The other type of person that wants to live forever has already corrupted their own Soul
& they now fear what awaits them after they leave the physical world.
American Intermediary 12/22/23
" The physical world is the Soul's ultimate Test "
Got milk?
Could I get the source for stone age cultures leaving elders behind? As an archaeologist I wanna know which culture that was based on heheh
lovely to see keanu reeves being an older male celebrity dating a woman who actually looks like a full grown adult within his age range. as usual instagram wants to ruin everything…
Yes! Plus, let's be real: they're cute as a button together 😍
Yes, don't understand the expectations of him dating someone younger as honestly this just adds to the image of Keanu just feeling like such an overall good dude
it's actually so sad how glad we are about him being with someone his age. not being a creep should be the bare minimum😭
@@dublancdedinde Leonard DiCaprio has left the chat
He did date a daughter of a producer-director of one of films he was in though, they had 10+ age gap...
Another aspect of this issue is the sexualisation of teenage girls. The idea that a 16 year old girl on tik tok is "hotter " than 40/50 years old adult women is really gross. Since we (in reality mostly men) start looking at teenage girls so young , everything that deviates from that type of "beauté" is seen as ugly. Beauty standards for women are rooted in this gross reality
I'm a cis hetero man sprinting towards middle age, and I have zero desire to lust after a teenage girl. I already don't use social media (RUclips is as close as I've ever gotten), and I'm already at the point where I'm debating an ID check for random PMs on Reddit.
Every woman who dated men I knew growing up had that totally inappropriate relationship with a predatory age difference at some point in their lives. I wasn't ok with that then, and I'm definitely not ok with it now.
What you say is absolutely and obviously true, and I want no part of that. I enjoy the company and appearance of adult women in the appropriate range, nothing else. And I'm sure as hell not going to fetishize their appearance, or the general inexperience that goes along with it.
@@RevShifty
Well said. ❤
Well done. 💗
I already knew that all men aren't twisted paed*philic scumbags--
I have a good, decent, Honorable son, brother, fiance, Father, & Uncle, & ex-husbands, nephews, cousins, comrades, & friends.
So, I know that there are PLENTY good & decent men.
However, the filth of this world is often the loudest, & the INCEL & "red pill" troglodytes are very vocal & pervasive.
I am glad for EVERY man of decency, integrity, Honor, conscience, & good-will who stands up & says--
"Ew. no! abominable!"
(In their own way.)
Exactly.
You said it, & you said it right.❤
It is DEPRAVED.
Sexualizing & lusting after *_~CHILDREN~_* is abhorrent. 👹
And, telling GROWN WOMEN that *we* SHOULD LOOK LIKE _CHILDREN,_ in order to be DESIRABLE & _BEYOND THAT--_
to _EVEN BE _*_~WORTHY~_*_ HUMAN BEINGS!_
--is TWISTED & SICK!
I agree, i would also add that it also pushes grown ass men to be more PDFilic in a way bc they are also pushed into this idea that us women lose our value at 25 or whatever it is. It's just all really gross and wrong to me. Im 37yo now but i remember all the old ass men when i was a teen who would be so incredibly sexual and gross towards me. In front of my father. My mother. My own father and mother themselves. It's all gross and sad to me. It took 30 fucking years for me to realize it's not me. It's the late stage capitalist society and even the religion our society caters to that keeps reinforcing this. It's so incredibly difficult for our men and women to deal with these pressures and traditions
This is probably off topic, but I can't help but think about how there's an anti aging movement and not a big movement in preventing elder abuse and con artists who target older people.
this is an excellent point
damn, painfully true.
@@AuleTheSmith37Kitboga is awesome
Kinda Off topic as well, but personally what scares me about aging the most isn’t how i’ll look, but it’s how i’d get treated. Once you’re older you’re not really seen as your own person anymore, just as an ‘old person’. It sounds awful asf to have lived so many years on earth yet to not be seen as a full human being. I admit i’m guilty of this too because it’s just so normalized in our world. i wish it wasn’t.
@@sawsawsukaThat's why some people become more eccentric as they age, a loss of concern with how they're perceived coupled with the creativity to stop oneself from becoming an object.
The irony is all that stressing about aging is only gonna age you faster lol. As a pushing 40 individual, I say just live your life because gravity is undefeated. Like imagine thinking you’re gonna beat GRAVITY.
And, honestly, it's gonna make you age worse. The stress and fear and treatments might not be visible for now, and you may manage to delay your first wrinkles by a few years... But all of that will absolutely mark your body once it starts to change. And it will.
There is so much beauty in an aged face (and body), it's the most literal representation of the story of one's life and experiences. If all you do is worry about aging, that will show. If you never move your face, for fear of wrinkles, the wrinkles you will inevitably get will look uncanny to the average person.
I am very young now, but I am excited for every stage of my life to come. I look forward to aging (visually, the pains I can do without). There is beauty in _being_ by itself. And every mode of being is fascinating and beautiful in it's own way. I mean that with all the sincerity I have.
i wish i could beat gravity, not because i dont want to age but to just simply fly arround and stuff lol
@@Hatsune_miku_bryessss, like why can't I flyyy 😩
Joke's on you, my elaborate pulley system that hangs me upside down will beat gravity for me! Ha-HA!
it’s the shortening of ur telomeres
Why is the internet trying to convince me that 30 is old? People are talking about how great they look at 30. And I'm like, you haven't been alive that long you aren't old!
I know right. I feel bad for these kids. That 14 year old is going to fuck up her skin before her skin has time to mature, and then she'll probably have issues with it the rest of her life.
30 IS ONLY 3 decades like bro it’s not even half of our life expectancy 🙃
@riotking77 that's what I'm saying. It's a short period of time.
Think of like this..30 is only 12 years into adulthood.
no for real it’s like “OMG i can’t believe she’s 32” and i have no clue what they think 32 looks like
As a disabled wheelchair user of 22, i cant wait to age visibly. The day people stop saying 'but you're still so young' about my disease ill start dancing!! It's insane to me that my youth gives people an excuse to make an extra, immediate judgement of my life. If young=good and disabled= old; a young disabled person breaks everybodies brain.
Oh, and literal doctors do this as well?!?! 'you're too young to get X' months before I get diagnosed with X. It's seen as a moral failing that I have heart problems, tooth decay or other side effects from my illness. There can be scientific proof that I need to be screened, vaccinated or need another preventative measure and doctors will straight up deny me because I'm 'too young'
I'm able to walk, but my back already has arthritis and sciatica. I take longer to get out of the car than my 84yr old grandpa. People also seem to think i shouldnt be hurting like this at 27. Its annoying. I feel you.
I'm actually basing my thesis on disablism and ageism being linked through the idea of disabled futurity being considered the opposite of a good future
why are people such assholes to wheelchair users????
Not a wheelchair user but I am disabled, and god sameeee, I can't wait for people to shut up about me being "too young" to be chronically il.... whatever that means
My fears when it comes to aging has more to do with dealing with dementia and chronic back pain, I couldn’t give any less of a shit abt wrinkles
That's my thoughts as well. Like, why are we most worried about "looking" old vs aging and dealing with declining health?
Yeah I have a fear of getting either cancer or Alzheimer because those were the two illnesses from which my two grandpas and grandma died. I don’t give a shit about wrinkles.
Same. I really don’t want to end up in a hospital every other week or needing to take a hundred pills a day. That sound so exhausting. I hope science finds an actual answer to aging, so that our organs don’t fail one by one. Couldn’t give less of a shit about how my skin looks, tbh.
I don’t want to be old because I may inherit my grandparents chronic illnesses
Oh gods, this, so much! My great-grandmother passed last year at 98. She always looked great, but for the past twenty years, dementia had been slowly destroying her from the inside, deteriorating her to the point where she was barely a shadow of a person. THAT is the fate that terrifies me, not wrinkles.
I can't deal with the people who are shocked that people under 40 generally look pretty young. Like they look young because they ARE young. Jesus christ
Biologically they are not young. You start going into a slow decline around your early to mid 30s.
@@metoo3342 Emphasis on slow, lol. Thirty and forty year olds are still in their prime. The majority are working, many are having and raising kids, others are travelling and doing physical hobbies.
Not being as fast or as young as a 20 year old doesn't mean you're done with life 😝 Even at 60 people can run marathons and learn new languages and study :)
im 25 and people get shocked and say i look like a teen well like yeah ive only been an adult for like six years 😂
@@painted_k9 Thirty and 40 year olds are objectively not in their prime. Their lives might be more busy but their prime was in their 20s.
@metoo3342 damn girl seems like u want to take us out to pasture and put us out of our 30 and 40 year misery 😂😂😂
Something about anti aging feels a bit colonial to me. I had my first greys come in at once, I couldnt bare to pluck them. All I could think was "Its my duty to become an elder" which to me means to learn my people's stories, to learn our language, to pass on our knowledge.
After hearing a much younger fellow indigenous person say "I'm grateful to be here because we don't all make it this long".
There's a cultural connection and reason to grow old and **look** old. After my great grandparents, grandparents, and mother werent able to grow up safely w their culture, its my responsibility.
I want to survive my health problems to be old, wrinkled, grey hair. Look like my mother. My grandmother. My grandfather. My great grandparents. And speak my people's language, Michif, with children who grew up learning it too.
Aging is a gift. The visuals, the knowledge, the everything. Not everyone makes it that far.
You can do all that without looking like a raisin.
That's a beautiful way to look at aging 😊
Its also just a sign of general privilege. I’m trans and I am determined to make it and become an elder trans person. I have so few elders to look up to and I want the trans people who will come after me to have people to look to for hope
It's easy for you to say that because you belong to a (beautiful) culture!
that's a beautiful way of looking at it 💕being visibly old will hopefully signal wisdom & caring to other's in your community
I actually don't think that the beauty moralism is a recent phenomenon. We have tons of old stories of the "evil old hag" or these old women obsessed with looking young again. Fear of aging, especially for women, seems to be a very old tradition.
even small children are scared of old people. there is something scary about it.
I think the "evil old hag stealing young women's youth" trope is meant to dissuade young women from seeking community, advice & mentorship from older women, leaving all women vulnerable. (quoting Mina Le's video "the fashion industry hates older women" which is a great counterpart to Shanspeare's video)
It’s not remotely new. People routinely had photographs edited in the Victorian area to improve their appearance.
Years ago many still used products that destroyed their skin… knowingly … because it made them look better at that moment.
There were countless wellness and beauty fads.
Conversations can be fraught on all sides of this topic.
We are incredibly lucky to live in a time where we can prevent premature aging and damage with sunscreen.
It’s fantastic to see Indy brands putting out more affordable versions of scientifically proven skin care ingredients that can help you take care of your skin longer.
I don’t see anything wrong with younger girls learning to take care of themselves and developing good routines.
That said there is no need for them to have a 25 step skincare routine. There is no need for 19 year olds to gee filler, etc.
The basics that all need to know = a good cleanser for your specific skincare needs, sunscreen, moisturizer (preferably unscented) and Rx retinol when needed. It is the gold standard that can help with a variety of issues, not just wrinkles. It can help people with certain forms of acne, scaring, pigmentation issues, it can help reduce some sun damage, etc.
I have sensitive skin and mild rosacea so it’s not been a good option for me to date but it has helped a lot of people.
Fear of aging is the big issue, and it’s driven by multiple factors including destain for mature women. There is nothing wrong with aging. It’s a beautiful thing. I’m looking forward to my hair going completely gray (I’m 48 and am getting more gray hairs every year).
I don’t hate the wrinkles I have but I am glad I was able to avoid premature aging with use of sunscreen since Clinique came out with City Block mineral sunscreen in the 1980s.
That doesn’t mean I avoided all sun damage, especially not with how easily I burn in some environments while wearing SPF 9 billion.
On the flip side you can find many radfems arguing that any measures are detrimental. There is a contingent actively fighting against any relief for menopausal women. They are trying to prevent bio identical hormone treatments that help with a multitude of symptoms and problems. They think women should suffer and go through it “naturally”. They played a large role in shutting down research in the 1970s - 80s, along with religious fundamentalists.
They have the same attitude with everything and it’s a messed up one that often comes from an anti science/medicine standpoint.
the victorians were absolutely OBSSESED with this, so no, not new at all
I wouldn't call it a "tradition" though...It's all due to misogyny in the end.
Aging definitely is a privilege. As a trans person and seeing a bunch of other trans people using the old age filter it was so moving and made many people cry because we never thought that we would get to live that long. I think we really do need that reframing on a larger scale
Yeah, as someone whose mom died at 46 aging is such a privilege. Aging means you're not dead and the poeple who live you don't miss you. Who cares about wrinkles
Decaying and fading and losing your mind isn't a privilege. Stop coping.
Same. My mom died recently and i just wish i could have seen her age more @@mxflint1715
@galsromantic well said!
@@metoo3342 Nah Id live.
If you aren’t aging, you’re dead. Don’t fight reality. You aren’t going to be the first person to never age and die. That’s okay. Live. Be at peace with reality
Yes I will
I want the first sentence on a shirt.
Lmao well said
Idk if anyone else feels this way but as a poc, I hate it when we uses phrases like "Asian don't raisin," as a good thing. Another equivalent is "Black don't crack." I hate when we play into that, like it's a compliment to our races looking younger than we are, but it's somehow backhanded at the same time to those within our own races who ARE aging and DO have visible signs of aging. Like why do we equate looking younger = good? I hate it so much actually, I wish we don't use those phrases.
Yeah💗
Because looking younger means you look better and are physically healthier.
@@metoo3342 did you even watch the video? lol. they talk about that exact thing and why it's kind of fallacious to state that as an outright fact.
@@sawsawsuka Thats just denialism then. Your body will always be more capable of enduring and surviving anything when you're younger. You can literally see the health risks by age groups consistently increase.
@@metoo3342 that's literally not the point of the video or the conversation 😭 what shanspeare is talking about and what the comments are discussing is how the *beauty standards* placed upon women engender ageism and a negative view of growing older. whether or not people are healthier when they're older or younger is irrelevant. why should people be treated as less just because they have wrinkles or just because their body doesn't work the way it used to? maybe actually watch the video we're commenting on first lol, you clearly havent; and if you have, you sure as hell were not paying attention lmfao
edit btw i see how all youve been doing for the past 30 minutes or so is just stalking the comment section saying random shit. you are clearly not interested in having a legitimate conversation about this topic 🫵😂
Just a point of clairifcation about the 'stone age'-- people back then did not just abandon the old, or the sick and disabled. I have heard about archeological sites where they would find someone who had a severely broken leg for example. But they would notice also that the leg showed signs of healing, meaning the person didnt die right away. Scientists interpret this as the group cared for the sick, old or disabled individuals and continued to bring them along with the rest of the tribe, despite the added burden of their infirmity. People in the past werent monsters, they were human, and felt a need to care and have compassion for those weaker than them. Its the same reason that people dont abandon newborns who cant take care of themselves, although it was more common back in those days didnt mean that everyone was so uncaring
Thank you! I cringed a little when she said that without qualifications.
came to the comments to look for something like this! family and social connections have always won out over whether or not someone could "meaningfully contribute to society"... honestly, kill the capitalist idea that people need to contribute to society to have worth
yeah, there may be the case that _some_ highly nomadic groups may have done this-but we need to add in alternative explanations that are just as reasonably possible, such as 1) a culture that values sacrifice and martyrdom in particularly difficult times and/or 2) times of desperation and scarcity where survival was impossible even for the most hardy folks in the group and/or 3) casualties of conflicts that led to large body counts or having to flee an entire territory (genocide, by our present definition, existed before civilisation, tho the signs of this are normally mass graves with carbon dated remains).
cultural bias makes the 'obvious' explanation abandonment because when we are forced to consider who to prioritise rescuing in emergency situations, we throw our elders to the bottom of the priority list because 'well, they lived a long life and these younger people deserve a shot and they might have family/be productive in society' as if elderly people don't have families and do nothing but leech off society. our frame of reference culturally is that when it comes to priorities, the group who is bottom of the list is a toss up between disabled people who need assistance and elderly people (esp retired elderly people)-and truthfully, that means disabled elderly folks are looked at as almost pointless bodies.
it's just the infection of seeing people as productive units and not as community. i think it goes back further than capitalism (unless you're arguing alongside david graeber that capitalism is a lot older than 'capitalism' of the 17th century to present), but even then it isn't present in every stationary, agrarian society either (see: older japanese culture moreso, but it still hasn't disappeared in japan today).
i don't blame them for saying this idea because it's pervasive and seems like the natural order but i'm glad someone addressed it.
Whoever started that idea has done a massive disservice to society as a whole tbh
Humans have always taken care of each other. The sick, the elderly, the disabled. Our empathy and pack mentally didnt fizzle out the moment someone became "a burden"
If it did, nobody would reproduce because name a bigger burden* than a baby.
*As in takes up all your time and effort to just keep alive
Yes, was about to comment something similar!
it's like people already forgot that barbie told that old lady at the bus stop that she's beautiful (and the old lady knows it)
i actually did forget because that movie sucked
@@transsexual_computer_faeryokay? If it doesn’t apply scroll on by bih
Don’t EVER pretend Mattel is some kind of feminist company . That company literally has Barbie themed anti aging creams while selling everyone the idea that they’re “on your side”. Capitalism is never women’s friend
@@cjboyomad about a Barbie movie?😂
@@younglalaofficial Irritated by people who just randomly shit on something other people like just because its popular 🤷♂️. I have plenty of critiques of the Barbie movie, but I also fully understand why people loved it and enjoyed watching it myself.
Man, as someone with dermatillomania (and hence, has a lot of small scars everywhere) the idea that an “imperfection” in one’s skin is some how a moral failure pisses me off to no end. I know it’s not the same thing as signs of aging- but god, when will people understand this.
twins! but yeah it’s really bothersome, especially as a young person w dermatillomania and acne, i have a ton of little scars all over my face from picking it at, and seeing so many people online stigmatise having “imperfections” is really damaging.
@@c4tm340wyeah, I’m still super young (18) but when I was in my early teens i was told that I would “regret it in the future” (regret having an illness I had no choice in developing??), for no reason other than how it would effect my physical appearance. A person’s physical appearance doesn’t define their worth, and I’m so tired of it.
I have the same issue and tbh I can't stand looking at tiktok filtered smoothed faces. I'm not surprised people looking at this the whole day develope issues with how their skin looks irl. Like noone's skin is a blurred flitered blob and it doesn't freaking matter anyway irl
Me with hormonal acne and dermatillomania shfjskf
Don't worry, you're not alone. I am incredibly blessed to have great scar healing but my upper back still looks like the fucking moon. My arms are basically scar tissue at this point and thats okay.
The only thing I see looking at my scars is the amount of pain I was in and how great I feel in comparison now. Sometimes I still assault my face but after realising it's the stress, you can work with it.
The assigned morality of most shit is just WILD
one of the best things that helped me accept aging was just...... observing the ppl around me. not influencers, not celebrities, not models. I just started taking a good hard look at my coworkers, the ppl riding the bus w/ me, strangers walking next to me, everyone normal & regular. and they're beautiful! they really are!! it doesn't matter if they show their age or not; they're just people living their lives, and their lives don't hinge on their appearance; the way they look is just a natural facet of that. they still have friends, and family, and ppl that love them. and I realized I could do that too. I could just live, and look the way I looked, and be happy & loved. my appearance is just a small part of me, not the focus of my life.
(also, getting off tiktok helped a lot too.)
Yesss I love this sentiment.
Most people think of beauty as "the peak of attractive-ness as per the current societal standard" and that just. Is not what I think beauty is, or should be.
Beauty is in the small observations to be made about something. Beauty is in dedication. Beauty is in life, and age, and the stories we tell, in joy, and in being. Being without any qualifiers, being itself holds value. This obviously doesn't just apply to people, but to all things.
Beauty is love and is value, and they all create each other. What you love and value becomes beautiful to you, and beauty and value reinforce that love.
@@xssitaCelebrities make their living in industries where their looks are hyper fixated on by millions of people everyday so they have a different relationship to their appearance. I think that’s what OP means at least.
@@xssita celebrities like......by definition cannot be normal ppl. they're public figures, scrutinized for their behavior & appearance in a way that average ppl aren't. they have access to lifestyles, skincare, anti-aging measures that the average person doesn't; ppl should not compare themselves to celebrities b/c the difference will always be insurmountable.
@@xssita Try to google search celebrities before and after becoming famous. When it comes to beauty money does most of talking.
Alot of people are ugly I hate looking at most people in public cause they're not pleasing to look at.
In 2022, I became convinced we were all going to die in a nuclear war caused by either North Korea, Russia, the US or all 3. I was terrified of losing my life, I was convinced I wouldn't make it to 25. When I celebrated my 25th birthday I cried with joy. I hate the anti-aging trend so much because whenever I feel bad about aging I remember how lucky I am to still be here and thriving, and I hope I have many more years to come.
I'm thriving without aging
Bro we cant go past that first sentence...huh???
lol, you would have had a hard time in the Cold War era when that was actually a possibility.
... why would you let yourself believe that ...
Stay happy about it! Historically, nearly half of us wouldn't grow to even become adults. The fact you made it to 25 sets you apart in the grand scheme of things. So count your blessings and always do your best to stay positive.
I'm 32 and I have people tell me that I look like I just turned 21 yesterday. I do none of these so-called anti-aging routines. I drink, I smoke, I eat garbage. Will it catch up to me one day? Probably. Am I spending money on looking "young"? No. Am I spending my money on FEELING "young"? Absolutely.
Genetics my dude! Just like with weight and body shape these TT influencers will never talk about the truth of the genetic lottery. Genes are a huge determining factor in how and when we will age.
I'm also 31. I have a hella baby face cuz of my round cheeks. I got ID'd consistently when buying alcohol until Rona showed up and wearing a mask covered my lil baby face. My baby face has so little to do with routines and skincare. It's pretty much all a lucky pull at the ole genetic slot machine.
yeah idk.... I think sometimes people're just polite and say whatever they think you want to hear (and they assume it for a reason). If you stand next to a real 20 year old the difference's gonna be 100% visible.
@@Leminisca I can accept that point of view. In my case it happens when I get ID'd and they're always like "holy shit no way"
Yep also bc ppl are still having their grand-parents/parents as a template for guessing ppl age. Most ppl now are having kids late/ are student for a long time so they won't dress as expected from "older ppl" and the clothing/hairstyle/make up play a major role when you're trying to guess someone's age, not a lot of ppl looks at wrinkles contrary to what 17y.o on Tik tok are made to believe.
@@Crucis119Genetics don't determine your weight.
My ideas about aging changed when my cousins were killed in a house fire. They were 7 and 9. Ever since then, I've been working on how i interact with the thought of getting older because its an honor to see crow's feet and feel my knees making sounds. But buying retinol and other skin products doesnt go against my moral compass because my looks have nothing to do with my personhood
This is a beautiful way to look at it ❤️
I got the same lesson at 38 when my dear friend died of cancer. He was lamenting that he’d never get to become a silver fox.
i’m so sorry for your loss.
I have almost the opposite reaction. My cousin recently died and the idea that some day soon I will be older than him is really scary and depressing. I almost wish I could freeze myself to always be his little cousin
I used to be like "its gonna be so funny when gen z also realizes they're going to age too" when this attitude about aging was not as intense yet in like 2019/20.
It's not funny it's just sad now.
i hate when millennials say that or genx whatever tf bcuz it makes them sound like they’re going through a mid life crisis in an attempt to make them seem better. but they really should just say there’s nothing wrong with aging
the beautiful thing about being bi and vehemently attracted to milfs is that the prospect of looking 40/50+ is not at all a scary concept to me and i’m looking forward to it
i've never related to anything more
Same, like I'm not even exaggerating (much) when I say that hoping I'll be a milf someday is one of those little things keeping me alive lmfao
Dang that's a perspective I didn't think about 😂😍
I read this as addicted to milfs 😭
But don't most milfs obsess about looking younger because that's what makes them standout as a milf compared to other moms who didn't horribly starve themselves back into shape after children? They've still been put under the microscope and only praised for looking sexually attractive, and better than other mothers? Because it's not about age empowerment, it's about sex, and male stems from gaze, right. Only certain women get picked to be "milfs" remember, so at the end of the day it's no better than anything this video was about , if anything it feeds it.
The reason we’re scared of aging is because of the way MEN treat you when you’re no longer considered young and nubile.
It’s the patriarchy folks.
I didn’t care about it, until I was working with a young man who condescended to me, and dismissed me.
( granted they did that all through out my twenties, but this was different.)
he looked right through me. And I ran straight to the Botox clinic. Botox changed my face, I hated it. I was so relieved that it wore off.
But the 3 month period where my face was frozen and smooth the young man I work with became complimentary and actually listened to what I said.
It’s the patriarchy
Try to not give a rats ass what some random mediocre man thinks of you. He doesn’t care what you think about him, does he? Why would you? It should be irrelevant to you. Fuck ‘em, seriously. You’re great the way you are and you don’t have to prove anyone your worth.
it always is. i’m sorry you had to deal with that. as a woman who has “looked old” since i was 14 and just unattractive in general, i’m constantly treated like shit so i get you
I think Id be able to handle being dismissed like that because my father does it to me already. And has constantly.
God I cannot wait until men stop mistaking me for a 16 year old... You know why. We all know why
It is more cultural decay leaving women with only 2d cutouts in place of varied nuanced female archetypes and a female hierarchy to ascend as elders and matriarchs. Wisdom is also needed for increased respect when aging and it is not valued today. Would aging seem so terrible if it came with increased respect and an honored position in society due to wisdom and experience? And one reason we do not have this is cultural decay and the loss of female only spaces. If women were the ones judging each other then much of the weird undercurrents of today would evaporate.
@@LotusesGalaxyOcean Vibe check: transwomen are
Whenever an influencer reminds her audience to use sunscreen, not because it prevents skin cancer but because it prevents aging, I lose a braincell
Same... :/
It's absurd
My teacher taught our class a very important lesson a few years back. He put up famous people bodies on a screen and made us rate if they were healthy or unhealthy. For example; a very fit body was on screen and we’d say healthy. He’d go “Wrong. They suffer from cancer and they loose weight due to the stress. Not healthy.” Or a dad bod on screen and we’d say unhealthy he’d go “Wrong again, he eats a balanced diet, he exercises daily and is very healthy.” I think these type of lessons are important. You can’t tell somebody’s “health” through their appearance. Haven’t finished watching the video but thought to bring this up.
absolutely love this, what a gem of a teacher
It always makes me so tired seeing people going "I'm 32 but I don't look a day over 20!" as if your body instantly starts deteriorating after 25... Most people only really start looking visibly old once they're entering middle age, and even then you'll find people who look "young". You don't look 20 at 32, you just look 32!!!
This is so accurate. Honestly I don't know what people think 32 looks like. I am 41 and I still get told constantly how "young" I look but I truly believe I look exactly my age. We just don't know what 41 looks like because we don't really look at people who are in their 40s.
Ageism is often overlooked in society. We are really inconsiderate with older people and constantly dehumanise them and pretend that they don't have aspirations, needs or anything worthy to give, even though we owe so much of our rights and culture to them (yeah, the good stuff too, Robert Smith is 64).
On the other hand, we do the same with youngsters assuming they're stupid and a monolith Every time I go out to town with friends, older people look at us with disdain just because we are existing (we aren't loud or recording or being annoying, just walking and talking), and then we ask ourselves why people are so sad ._.
One of my favorite musicians, Aurora, said that she’s excited to grow old and to have smile lines and wrinkles. One of her signiture makeup looks is even meant to mimic smile lines. Aging is Good it means that you did something and you are alive! as a member of the queer community seeing older queer people is so special because they survived! One of the leaders of my local trans youth organization is an elderly trans woman and she’s awesome!
I think Ian McKellen is one of the most beautiful humans as an elder gay man who hasn't just survived, he has ruled.
aurora!! i love her too, the way she sees everything and explains things is so calming to me
i also never knew her makeup mimicked smile lines but I love that!!
I love Aurora so much🫶🫶
These people go so overboard with “skincare”, cosmetic procedures, and fake “remedies” they are gonna look wild in like 5-10 years and be like “why do I look bad/worse :(“ 💀
I love skincare because my skin is oily and pro acne and thanks to it, right now it barely has any acne and it's even. I like it because it makes my skin looks the best as it can, not to look 20s forever, that's impossible. You can't stop aging, you are aging as we speak and that's FINE.
💯
There's something about aging that is quite nice to be honest. Mostly the mental part of it, of course. But growing mentally opens up several new worlds that wouldn't be as available if we were to stay young for ever. Aging isn't always desirable, but it has its perks for sure.
What's wrong with acne?
@@mx.walrus it can be kind of painful kind of a lot painful if you got a lot of it
@@m00n119 I did not know that. Sorry to hear!
so i have a goal that is semi serious to make my dog live forever. i don’t care if my dog is cute, i just want her to be happy, healthy. and by my side for as long as possible. im sure she feels the same way about me. whenever i feel insecure about signs of aging, i just remind myself that this just means I’ve had good times with my dog and have made sooo many memories. aging is a privilege!
This is true! Maybe you should consider hospice care to keep her comfortable until it's her time to go. You know, to tend to aches and pains or whatever else may arise.
I used to be one of those young girls who were terrified of aging. That was until one of my best friends passed away at only 20 years old. It made me realize that having the opportunity to age is actually a blessing. Wrinkles are nothing to be ashamed of. it’s amazing that you got the chance to live a long life. So let your appearance show it and embrace it.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
These kind of conversations make me feel glad that I've never been considered attractive. When you're told any your ugliness from a young age, you kind of learn to deal with that and what it means about your place in society. I resented it for a long time but now I see it as a blessing because I can be at peace in ways that other women are not allowed to be. Just wish it didn't come with a lot of poor treatment from strangers but I guess you can't win them all 😅
That's actually a good point. it must be hurtful to become less and less visible as people consider one less attractive when you aren't used to it.
You dont get told that you let yourself go when you have always looked the same. Kind of sad but true
lol I've always thought this! but never vocalized it since I know people would reply in a pitying manner and I don't need that...but since I was never pretty in my "prime" teens and early 20s I don't experience this fall from grace beautiful women must face when they feel their youth is slipping away...I agree being treated like im personally offending men by daring to exist without being hot wasn't nice, but I'm glad I don't experience this neurotisism over aging lol
I‘ve been ignored by the people around me my entire life and thought the same. Ofc I‘m sad I don’t get compliments from strangers or get approached in clubs etc. but ultimately I will never be stripped from a pretty privilege I never had and therefore don’t have to deal with the loss of that. It’s like you get to grief early and walk into aging more prepared kinda.
Ngl I was worried about getting older at 26 until a regular eye exam ended up with a diagnosis of a brain tumor. Now I don’t care about wrinkles or smile lines or saggy boobies. I want to see my nephews and nieces grow up. I want to see my mother finally retire and my brothers go bald. I want to see the aurora borealis and go to a rooftop party in Cape Town. I just want to live.
I’m an esthetician and there are so many women who come to see me who tell me how “old and ugly they’ve become” and it breaks my heart every time 😭 I try to remind them that aging is a gift that not everyone is given and they’re beautiful and wonderful but man it is a very frequent occurrence
Isn't that what being an esthetician is about? Helping people look younger?
@@alisonmercer5946 treatments that help with visible signs of aging are part of what I do, yes! But I would never encourage a client to think that they are ugly bc they have aged or have wrinkles or fine lines. My main concern is how hard they are on themselves when it’s a completely natural process
@@alisonmercer5946not all the time, no. Sometimes it's just addressing skin concerns that have nothing to do with aging.
"Wrong. Bubonic plague." THIS SENT ME INTO HYSTERICS
This is so wild to me. I have a lot of my mother's facial features, so, I got wrinkles in HIGHSCHOOL like it's just the way my face is.
No, but like. When I was in my early twenties I discovered I had the same forehead wrinkle as my mom. I was actually excited! because otherwise I didn't think I took after her physically. I was happy to share it with my mom, but when I showed her, she scolded me for not having a skin care routine and "frowning too much I wrinkled my skin" 💔
It is probably expression lines by lack of hydration in the skin. There is no way to have real wrinkles in high school
@@lug358 I drink 8 glasses of water per day and still have a wrinkle on my forehead at 21. my dad's side of the family is very wrinkly, it's almost always down to genetics.
@@unci_el its not the water u take, but ur skincare. Maybe you are prone to dry skin, as there are people with oily skin, acne etc
@@lug358 taking roaccutane, have a very good and consistent skincare routine, eat well, exercise and drink water. i'm sure it is just genetics
Maybe this is a bit personal but I celebrate each grey hair. My twin sister died at the age of 6, I nearly killed myself at 13. I had a 10% chance of survival when I was born. Aging is a privilege, I never thought I’d like to see my first grey hair, and now I count them with a smile
once again you've knocked it out of the park. The automatic association of "self care" being associated (conveniently) with the performance of femininity and hyper consumption, or as a way to categorize someone orality has only been ramping up in recent years. Mix this with Tiktok's HUGE problem with physiognomy an its a hotbed for awful ideas about what it means to be healthy.
Jordan Theresa also made a similar video pointing out the class divide with this unsettling trend - how beauty is now about biological advantage over skill (skincare vs makeup) and plastic surgery is on the rise. Loved your thorough breakdown!
*Thank you for the new video, mother. I'm replenished.*
I will never forget how I was in an Ulta when I was in high school and they literally tried to sell me an anti-aging cream claiming "If you use it now it will start working when you get older." What a joke.
The only preventative skincare is sun protection.
I love this conversation bc i had a similar conversation with a baby boomer where she was like your life is handed to you when you are younger and I was like yeah, for your generation bc the economy was different. And she was like "that's true but when you think about what elders were used for before in other societies which were vast knowledge, learning, wisdom, leaders and decision making a lot of that 'usefulness' has been taken by technology, all we have now is leadership and decision making-- which we arent doing that well with either"
Dang I've never thought of it that way before
Dude I've heard FRESHMEN planning to get botox on their eighteenth birthdays and worrying over their wrinkles. It is genuinely horrible, almost terrifying. I don't blame anyone for falling into this idea- it's not their fault at all, although it is unfortunately now their responsibility to lift themselves out of this headspace (even though it shouldn't be). In a perfect world those at fault- which I guess would be anti-aging corporations in this case- would be the ones responsible for reversing this damage, but I'm sure we all know that things don't always work this way. Despite everything, I have never been prouder to grin big and cry ugly. In a world where perfection becomes normal, humanity is cherished even more than before.
My sister is a teen and literally told me she would rather die young then get old bc she fears wrinkles I was shook
Yikes, as teen myself I'd rather die young so I don't have to see the world get destroyed by climate change. Wrinkles bother me nowhere near as much as my joints gradually deteriorating because I developed osteoarthritis 38 years before everyone else (I'm pretty sure the average age of onset is 50).
Coming from someone who's 30 and short as hell with mad baby face, I HATE this mindset cuz every time I say anything about how it sucks to be infantilized all the fucking time all I get in response is "well you'll love it when you're older" and it just is so dismissive of how it's actually really hard to get through the world when people assume you're barely an adult and openly treat you as such. Not to mention how creepy it is that we are obsessed with fem bodies looking like CHILDREN (no wrinkles, hairless as the day you were born, etc etc).
Absolutely. What adds insult to my injury is that im autistic and a huge fan of soft, feminine things (like vintage dolls, coquette/dollette, lolita fashion, pastel pink, lace). Life would be so much better if I looked my age so I would have peace of mind that anyone who dates or sleeps with me arent predators (my internalized thought)
I love how they have the "fuck this I'm done with it" mood across the whole video. It just really sets the tone of what their opinion on this whole thing is aka not paying it to much attention to the point of taking over their life but still keeping in touch and having a sane opinion on it. It also just keeps you entertained by lightening the mood and showing their true self which I love
Are you talking about shanspeare?...
@@KD-ou2np yes, shanspeare uses they/them as stated in their About section
Ugh, as a recently disabled young adult, Metamorphosis hit so hard. When I reread it, I couldn't help but fixate on how Gregor's first worry was about how he wasn't able to work. I've had so much anxiety about being unable to work or being a burden on my family that I've barely processed how drastically my life has changed and how I can't do the things I love or need.
It's wild to me how uncommon it's been (for me personally at least) to find disabled interpretations of Metamorphosis. Like yes it's up to the reader to decide what it means to them... But like it could not mirror real life disabled experiences any harder unless they just gave him a regular disability instead of turning him into a creature.
The idea of disabled people being a “burden” is a deeply ableist one. I used to think that way for so long. You aren’t a burden. Society is just systemically ableist and is fucked up
I struggle with if I want to fight visible aging or not constantly. I have General Anxiety Disorder, and have suffered from chronic insomnia my whole life. I began noticing wrinkles and thin skin on my face when I was a young teenager, almost 20 years ago. If I had fought against it, I would have only given myself more stress. I would have been agreeing to a curse of fight>stress>fight>stress. I worry about young folks who grew up like me, with a self-sabotaging brain and a bad home life, if they feel the need obsess over their appearance because it might reflect on their moral character. Like "How dare you allow life to affect you!"
The genetic condition I have (Ehlers Danlos) is a connective tissue disorder. Some people can “look young” (I think I look 35 but still get guessed way younger but that’s a whole rabbit hole) but people can also “look older” than their age. It’s a trend I’ve seen in support groups and appreciate the groups that ban the “guess my age “ selfie threads with a bunch of white women that just want to inflate their ego 😂 I’m 35 and just got my hips x-rayed last month to see if hip replacement would help?! This is not a cute and fun disorder. I can’t imagine being part of our community that has more sagging/fragile skin, wrinkles etc that feels alienated by these posts. Health and character can’t be determined from sight alone.
the worst part for me has been my hands. It feels like I woke up one day and my hands Just Can’t anymore.
@@cjboyo I hope you are able to find a way to sustainably can. I had a massive life change that took so much time and a leap of faith and I didn't think I would make it- I left my home state and moved back in to be my friend's live in attendant in December. I won't die on the waiting list to get into a nursing home and this is a mutually beneficial relationship. If it weren't for that, I don't know where I would be. This is the first time I'm finding my new sustainable outside of survival mode in my 30's. I know friends that are still figuring it out in their 40's+. Life is so much more than just surviving and having a good exterior, but sometimes the easiest thing to try and control is our looks.
Lol as someone who is sewerslidal waking up everyday is a miracle. But i celebrated my 23rd birthday this month🎉🎉Btw love your outfit, its giving Elvira Draculaura
Happy late birthday!!!
I also always remembered reading The Hunger Games and Katniss describing her shock with the capital and their obsession with youthfulness, because in District 12, aging was a sign of survival. People died young often in mine accidents, and if you survived a career in the mines, the (likely lung cancer) effects of working in a coal mine your whole life meant you likely wouldn't live late into retirement. I can't remember the community's perspective on the elderly as a whole, but I remember that Katniss noted that being from the Seam she saw old age as something like an achievement, signs of aging something to show off and be proud of. For a kid who went through some dark periods I always started to think that any sign of aging on my end wouldn't be a bad thing, because I often wondered if I'd even make it to an old age. Hearing my Mum talk down her appearance as she gets older makes me so sad because she just looks like Mum to me, and my Mum is beautiful.
This comment is so beautiful
In my work environment, no one is allowed to wear makeup, perfume, nail polish or jewellery. Our team is mix of different body types, genders, ethnicities and age groups and it's been humbling & challenging to say the least. Beauty and attractiveness is an essential part of a person's value in least in this world.
Just out of curiosity, what field/profession do you work in?
Probably in surgery or something
That is upsetting that attractiveness is a part of someone's inherent value instead of just being a person off topic ig
Why not perfumes though? 😭
@@gloriaokonye341if they’re in healthcare, food prep or like factory work manufacturing food or medicine it could interfere with the products and/or trigger reactions in the patients/people who will consume the products i imagine. it does sound like a very high demand environment though, i hope they’re being compensated well
I'm 26 and in the process of loving my wrinkles. it's so hard because my first wrinkles are under my eyes and I KNOW they're there because I cried a lot during 2021-2022. I am trying to redefine that my under-eye wrinkles are a sign that I survived a traumatic phase. I would've much rather have smile lines though, at least they're happy wrinkles
Life can definitely weather us, but I like how you do your best to see those lines as survival of a hard time in your life. Go ahead and do your due diligence to even them out with smile lines moving forward 😊❤
Heather Widdows mentioned!
There's an extra layer to the fear of aging thing that's so rampant on social media that has more to do with modern fandom culture.
Basically the kids assume that once you hit some magical age (25-30) you're not allowed to like anything anymore, for some it's 18-20 because they've got crushes on fictional characters that'll never technically age.
Instead of just continuing to do what makes them happy til they move on from it they're kind of hurting themselves trying to fit some weird morality code instilled by some circles of social media that revolve almost exclusively around how good a person you are based on what media you consume and enjoy.
I've seen some of their posts here and there and it's just *dire* these kids are so terrified of even aging into regular adulthood, never mind getting *old* and it breaks my heart.
i need to be frozen in time, aging will destroy me.
I have also noticed this and honestly it’s just sad. As well as kinda ruining fandom spaces in general it’s ruining these younger peoples mental health over this stuff. I’ve seen kids completely stop liking characters and shows cause they turned 16/17/18. As well as attacking other kids for still liking certain characters and shows/games cause they are now too old for the character or type of game. Idk how it got like this but it’s very unhealthy and makes for a very aggressive space online.
Unfortunately, this is a pretty real issue in some locations. My generation is probably the last one that will be known for this, as we were told that we needed to grow out of our interests to avoid being deemed immature or "not presentable enough". Not to generalize, but what makes this pressure even worse is that it was enforced on us and gen x by boomers (the latter later started doing the same thing). Gen z are starting to abolish this completely and embrace the same interests they had in their teens as they're reaching their early adulthood
Idk about yall but personally i bet im gonna look fine AS HELL when im older. Why? CUZ SILVER HAIRS LOOK ANGELIC AND SMILE LINES 😩😩😩
12:00 This reminded me of the scene in the Barbie movie where she tells an old woman that she's beautiful. I love that scene.
I was a train wreck at 21. At 63, I am happier as myself than I've ever been. I've been chronically ill for about 20 years, so I already know I can survive some shit.
I'm 21, and I've been depressed, if not low-key suicidal at times, for a big part of my life, and honestly I really hope I get to see my hair go gray and my face get wrinkly, because that would mean I survived long enough to grow old. I'm fat, I'm trans, I'll never look conventionally attractive and I don't care anymore. I want to live as myself and grow old as myself, wrinkles and all
Do it. Persevere. Grow as old as possible. If for nothing else, then to spite those that would see us perish
To chase away aging means you are not present in the now. You are spending your now fearing the future. Same goes with trying to stop aging from progressing means you are stuck in the past trying to control the present. Just be. Moisturizing is enough. You are enough. I just turned 40 and I’m happy with my now face.
I’ve been 24 for a month now and I’ve already had two men tell me that no, I’m 22 in a “flattering way,” as if being 24 suddenly means I’m not longer young.
This!!!!
Don't mind them, I don't think it's because they think 24 isn't young but because of the things they have heard about women always wanting to hear they look younger. I was a month away from turning 19 and a guy told me I looked 17. And I was like what? Am I supposed to take this as a compliment? I was just 17 early last year, what are you on about?(I didn't say it aloud though lol)
One guy even told me he thought I was 15 and he is 21. I had to call him out for it, that if you thought I was "15". Why would you hang out with a 15 year old?
I don't know if he meant it as a compliment or a spiteful comment.
But all in all it was just really weird.
Women will never be young enough for society and it's really creepy.
I've refrained from telling guys my age in general not because of anything, but because they find a way to make it weird and creepy.
And the grownup women that take "you look 14/16" as a compliment are the ones adding to the problem.
If they knew what an actual 14/16 year olds looked like, not the euphoria or influencer ones, I don't think they would take it as a compliment(Hopefully). The fact they want to look as young as children says a lot about our society.
Didn't realize how long the paragraph was. I'm sorry 😭😂
I became physically disabled in my 20’s, because of ankylosing spondylitis, which is viewed by a lot of people as an « old peoples » disease. Now I am 33 and I feel like I don’t have this anxiety of aging anymore. I am already perceived as unattractive, and I am not scared of being old inside, since I live with it for some time now. It is truly freeing. A good aspect of being disabled, I guess. 😊
Although I'm sure ageism can kick in for me when I do get visibly older since im still only in my 20's, I also want to age. Or more specifically, I don't want to be sexualized for my youth anymore and aging feels like the way out. When you're supposedly too mature to be desirable anymore. But I also hate feeling creepy in my own skin when my youth is also a fleeting privilege.
The comment Shan made about people saying you should stop smoking for anti aging makes me think about the fact that many doctors have good success treating diabetic men by telling them that poor blood sugar control can cause erectile dysfunction. Just how female standards are beauty>life, male standards are virility/masculinity> life. Sad what society has done to us.
I do not like how succumbing to beauty standards is being marketed as empowering. I ultimately don’t care what anyone does with their body but the amount of women who push products to “fix” things I had no idea where considered flaws and then they frame it as “your choice” while insisting that aging is something to put off or be feared never quit sits right with me.
YES Queen Latifah doesn't "look good for her age", she looks good for EVERYTHING! She has always been so beautiful and she just keeps finding new ways of doing so and I'm always here for it I don't care what year it is. IDK there's something about the "for her age" or "for her...." that just completely takes away from her work in her inner and outer beauty. It needs respect.
15:38 "at the end of the stone age, old people were considered incapable of fruitfully contributing to their community, and, as such, were often left behind to die" as an archaeologist, can I ask what source you got that from? Genuinely curious because this is the first I've heard of this happening 😅.
This reminds me of a Japanese tradition called Obasute! It is when adult children of elderly parents would abandon said parents up in the mountains when they become infirm. Except the twist was, apparently every time the adult children did it their children would make a comment about how they will do it to their parents, which then guilt trips the adult children to rescuing their parents.
The tale was told so many times like it was widespread practice that a bunch of Japanese University researchers got curious. They then proceeded to pull out hundreds, maybe thousands of years of census records. Their conclusion? If it did happen, it was not a widespread practice. It wasn't even a local tradition anywhere. What they figured out was that if it did happen, it happened that *one time* and people told that story to make fun of that *one person* . Stories being what they are, details get lost and changed until we get the myth we see today.
@Linfamy did a video on that actually, highly recommend.
the anti-aging thing has always unsettled me. why should anyone want to wash away evidence that they’ve lived? but im also in an intersection with a high sewer slide rate. ive had to fight to live and even though im only in my mid 20s, i never thought i’d make it this far. i don’t want to hide that ive lived.
as an androgynous boy sometimes i worry a lot about how i’ll look when i’m older. and then i realize just how heavily androgyny and femininity is linked with youth. it feels like aging is always seen as inherently masculine. like being an older woman somehow makes you less of a woman. screw that though i wanna be 80 years old and still be a twink. where’s my older femboys at?
I HAD to get into skincare early on, due to the fact that I have chronic eczema.
I've seen this change in narrative happen... From the importance of having healthy skin, because makeup damages it - to the "clean girl" aesthetic, that focuses on having perfect and healthy skin.
The change is seen everywhere, when I was in 7th grade, it was weird that I had to follow steps and apply cream and serum in the morning to now - where every popular girlie at the age 13 has 50spf sunscreen on her and a lot of CeraVe products.
Yeah, it's so weird to see these kids doing skincare routines. I literally saw a RUclips short titled 'skincare routines for 7 year olds'. As someone who literally started getting bad acne at 7, (and has subsequently had dermetellomania for the past decade) you don't need anything at that age other than a wet washcloth and maybe some soap.
Having wrinkles and marks is a sign that you lived life that you felt things and experienced all the the world has to offer
I'm gonna need a good fact check on that stone age tidbit. There is a good deal of evidence that elderly and severely wounded people were cared for when they had major injuries that are long healed. Injuries that would have prevented them from caring for themselves but that they clearly recovered from anyway
The book “The Dawn of Everything” by David Wengrow and David Graeber backs you up
i love how you never know how a shanspeare video is going to start
As someone who has looked the same since hs. I hate it here. I’m guna be 26 and i look 16… i do not understand the fascination at all. It’s one of my biggest insecurities. I hate being spoken to like I have to get ready for prom…
All I want is a grey hair or to not look like a baby but my mom looks like a baby @45 so idk I guess I gotta start smoking cigarettes and sleeping on my face 😂😂😂😂
That's a mood, but sometimes I wonder if I really look younger, or are we just stuck with a messed up idea what a teenager should look like because for the last few decades beauty standards have expected teenagers to look like adults, all the while deeming certain body types as not being "adult enough"
@@GraveyardMaiden I wish but I really don’t look like an adult unless I wear makeup. Which I don’t do regularly due to server eczema. I noticed when I left work with my full face I never got carded at liquor stores but if I just walk out of my house to the convenience store right by my house. They know my bf and his dad. They card me… like ok so u think my bf is a pedo ? After them not serving me bc I left my id home he went there with my id and said THIS IS MY GIRLFRIEND SHE LIVES RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET AND YALL ALWAYS DO THIS TO HER! So I don’t even get leafs anymore bc no one thinks I’m my age. Idk I’m so uncomfortably young looking. I’ve had parents at ulta asking me if their kid can apply and I’m like I’m 25… 🤭
Oh and the body thing. I’m v skinny and have tried to gain weight and it’s just not easy.
@@GraveyardMaiden oh for real, I remember at fourteen I was so confused why I looked so young when everybody who was fourteen in movies looked so grown and mature. I now know that those “teens” were actually like 30, and I looked like a normal 14 year old child at the time.
@heyyitsjude nah that’s fucking insane. Not the work buddy asking if you’re old enough to be here 😭 when I worked at ulta the girls thought I was 18 and I was the oldest one hired in that group of people. I was like second oldest on cash wrap and almost none of the girls knew it until they saw me chatting with some of management casually. And I was like “yea we graduated the same year” I also didn’t wear makeup much when I first started bc masks but still 😭 I really don’t know
Yeah, I’m a bit scared of getting older (because I worry about the future a lot) but I’m not scared of looking older. I’m almost 20 years old and people have said TO MY FACE that I look like I’m 12 (yes that specific age) and that they thought I was a kid. I just want to be taken seriously!! Also I REALLY wish people wouldn’t tell me I look like a child to my face. Like it costs $0 to shut your mouth… at least say it behind my back like a normal person lol
I wish more people could see wrinkles as something beautiful. Laugh lines for example are permanent evidence on your face of the joy you've experienced in your life, how is that not gorgeous?
idk i'm excited to have wrinkles. smile lines will show how much things have made me happy. the old age wrinkles will show how much i've experienced and the wisdom i have
Looking younger than your age isn't all it's cracked up to be. You may find people your age or younger will assume you don't know what you're doing because of your presumed youth. People talk down to you a lot. Frankly, I would like a few wrinkles. I've sure as hell earned some.
There’s 5 maybe 6 years in your late twenties where they respect you, and listen to you. Where your sexuality isn’t used against you.
But as you age and wrinkle they go back to ignoring you, condescending and dismissing you.
Patriarchy is a bitch
i just started doing it with makeup 😂
i look younger than my age and it's honestly embarrassing, i was interviewing for a job at a school and someone in the waiting room thought I was a new student 😅
I am 29, but all the way up to age 25 I basically believed I was immortal.
Being young is a trend right now, because the youth have found their voice and have discovered that is the advantage they have. It is easy to be young when you are young. 😂 I’m looking forward to the future.
I tried that aging filter on tiktok and instead of horror or shock, I found myself smiling. In the predicted lines and wrinkles and sagging, I saw my grandmothers, my mom and especially my grandfather who passed almost 6 years ago. Why would I feel saddened by something that reminds me of the generations and dear people that have come and gone before me? To see that little fragment of my dear grandfather on the wrinkles around my eyes when I smile, the lines around my mouth that look just like my grandmother's. Why would I be saddened by something that feels like it's taking me a little closer to the dear people in my life who no longer are here, or will be only for a limited time?
I admire the way my mother approaches old age, she rejoices every gray heir on her head and wishes to not cover them, she wishes to look her age because it's a sign of a life lived, places seen and experiences. All the while she feels young in the spirit. I wish to view aging similarly, even though it is at times hard because of social media and constant fixation on looking young.
You are the most brilliant person on RUclips. As a genx fem mom growing more and more comfortable with aging as is, I’m particularly grateful for this art piece. You always cover subjects head-on with a systems view and the most witty, unique, and artistic style. The world has always needed you. Thank you for being you!
My mom is in her 50s now, and it honestly sucks to see how bothered she’s become by it over the past few years. And I’ve literally seen my 16yo sister become more and more concerned by her skin texture. It hasn’t quite reached the point where she’s worried about smile lines or whatever, but I could def see it happening by the time she graduates high school.
I recently turned 24. For personal reasons, I never imagined I would get to the age where I begun to not look like a teen. I welcome it happily.
Same! 31 now and I still can't believe my luck. Every tiny line on my face feels like a blessing. I'm so thankful for contemporary medicine and hoping it will only get better.
Probably the saddest thing about the ageism is that we often don’t realize that we will inevitably be in the same position as our elders when our bodies slow down and functions slow. We treat the elderly like shit whether that’s just being uncomfortable around them or social differences. Disabled rights aren’t just for those born disabled or already disabled they should be accessible to everyone who needs them or will need them one day
I don't understand why people hate aging. I'm getting grey hairs and crows feet and I'm VERY excited for it lol.
Maybe it's because I'm queer, but I do hope I'll get to see a full head of grey hair on me in the future.
Not to be rude genuinely curious but why would being queer contribute to you wanting grey hair?
@@PotatoWaffle-sl4xf
Queer people don't get old. Most of our elderly are dead. Millennials are considered elders and none of us are in our 40s.
As queer young person I love see old queer people, this means they live enough to, well, be old and makes me feel proud of them
Virtual hug if you want one ( つ ◕‿◕ )つ
I was at a lesbian pride march, and I marched right next to a group of older women (like 60 probably) and... It was so exciting. It was so joyful. I was almost taken aback- I can become that. I will grow old. I will be an elderly lesbian. Old queer people exist.
One of them told a story of a different event, where someone assumed they were a group of allies. And asked them whether they knew any lesbians. Hilarious.
@@anzaia2164
I'm sorry I'm laughing so hard. Imagine being a lesbian for 60 years only to have someone ask you if you know any 😭.
I think it's strange that most people don't seem to value the beauty of wrinkles and features older people have. Silver hair is beautiful, but only if you've dyed it silver. Chiselled features are beautiful, but only if they're achieved at a young age. Nature has so much beauty to offer, it's not just one state that can be beautiful and valuable. I am part of a community of people who are at a higher risk for dying young, and I don't want to be young anymore - it is so much pressure. You only become a fully developed person at around 26, and it's wonderful that we keep changing and evolving as we grow older and learn more - live more!
I still feel the pressure to keep myself looking young, especially as I work in the entertainment industry and know that visible aging lowers your change of employment - which is frankly disgusting - but I want to see more older people in our media! It's so weird that we treat older people as just "the elderly" and not individuals who have lived long and complex lives, you don't just stop being as much of a person because you've lived longer. Bizarre.
When I did hospice care one of the ladies I cared for was just shy of 100. I have worked in bars and kitchens and am used to dealing with tough macho guys with 5 beers in them and no agility, this woman could take me in a fist fight I swear 😂
aging is a part of life that not all of us get to experience. I’m going to make the most of whatever years I have left on this earth, and welcome every tiny grey and wrinkle. This also feels so connected to the hyperindividualism that goes along with capitalism; we have to do these 5 Easy Steps to get rich quick or whatever 😂 if we don’t age well it’s a moral failing, like being poor, or being disabled, yup… I’m 35 and disabled due to a degenerative condition, and even though I “look young” yes, I do have the grip strength of an 80-year-old and can’t walk without a cane 😂
When my mom was in a Lewy body delusion, that little woman was so strong I could hardly wrestle her away from the stairs (we were trying to care for her at home and didn't get much help, our mistake).
Also, as person with non-obvious disabilities, I look about 45-50 (I'm 63), but my function on a bad day is very poor. And, on disability, I'm poor.
Oh, and thank you for doing hospice care. It's so needed.
I'm scared of aging precisely of what you've described: loss of agency & bodily autonomy, dismissal by society. Also my older relatives were not the sanest nicest people and I really don't want to take after them. However, I recognise that death&aging are things we should face up to, not avoid. And same as with internalised misoginy and racism, ageism is something we have to fight in ourselves.
P.S. Haven't used sunscreen for years because I thought it was about avoiding wrinkles and stuff, I had no idea it lowers the risk of skin cancer.
huh i thought it was common knolege that uv rays increase risk of skin cancer, the skincare girlies rlly should advertise that too
I remember being told at 16 I should start anti-aging routines by 25 to "freeze time", Im glad to be 33 and aging now
one of my favourite tumblr posts is -
I'm starting to get smile lines. How lovely to have smiled so often that happiness permanently etches itself into your face.
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I’m starting to have frown lines. How metal to have lived a life where your face now pre-warns people not to fuck with you.
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Worry lines. How resilient to have cared so strongly that empathy is now visibly displayed on your face.
💖
Now when I see my fine lines, I think of how many times I have smiled to earn them. That’s the only thing that ever made me stop worrying about aging
Hey Shanspeare I have always loved your content, and as a Palestinian I am so touched and grateful that you are tAlking about current events in your video. So many creators that I love either do not speak out or give a little preface before their videos. The fact that you are actively discussing means the world to me.
You’re never going to “feel old” until you do. I feel the same as I always have. I still feel funny, pretty, interesting and I’m a loving person who shows up for people. It’s good to have an effective skin care routine, but remember that people who overdo cosmetic procedures and chemical peels look a bit uncanny-valley-esque.
The set design and production go SO HARD Shanspeare really is on another level
the anti-ageing industry is so fucking weird. it's such a late-stage capitalism dystopia hell fire and yet it's so normalised. it's not like they're even actually increasing life spans by "decreasing" ageing. it's all just purely cosmetic.
i hate the fact that this is definitely tied to how under a capitalist system not being profitable to exploit anymore means your life is "worthless."
maybe the reason i don't hold such a fear of ageing is because of my disabilities i've never been "useful" to a capitalist society, and often viewed as a burden and a waste of resources.
there'd be no point in me fearing ageing since systematically i'm "worthless" anyways.
it's kinda sad to think about actually, well no it's super sad to think of how people's lives are given "worth" by how much they can make profits for the rich business owners and government officials. haha i'm going to have to cut the comment here before i go on my little anarchist ramble about higher-ups and political systems lmfaooo :33
ive been working at a grocery store for a bit and the amount of times ive heard the “you dont look a day over x” while doing the whole id thing is really jarring.
i think that just seeing people exist past how old we are and our lived experiences is the most important, living is so difficult and scary and being able to see that other people are still here and living gives me hope that i will do it too.
loved the video! ive been thinking about this a lot lately so it came at the right time!
there are literally many people who get gray hairs in middle school/high school at my school. the obsession we have with never getting older is ridiculous. i personally just want to look the best i can at each age, which doesn’t exactly mean younger
Filler is not great for your skin in the long run and starting that stuff early is foolish.
It also can't replace actual facial fat since it can't be injected as deep so it'll always look a little off.
This trend is so ridiculous to me because my mom died when she was 46 (i was 16) from ovarian and uterus cancer so for me aging is a privilege. If i get wrinkles and grey hairs it means i'm still here and not dead. And the things i do to be healthy and reduce the risk of dying young are like get checked regularly (if you have a uterus you should get checked YEARLY please please please find a doctor you like and get checked every year.) Who cares if i get wrinkles if i'm still here to enjoy the sun and a good mean and the people i love.
My mom is just now recovering from a reoccurring c. diff infection in her hip replacement. It was so hard to see her in and out of the hospital. The ability to worry about looking "old" is a privilege on its own.
Also yes, please get checked regularly for common cancers. Ovarian cancer is only so deadly because it goes undetected for a long time. Stage 1 ovarian cancer can have a survival rate of up to 95% if caught.
I have no clue if this is on topic but I want to grow old and age so one day I'll be an 80 year old grandma that breakdances so I think it will be weird when people my age actively try to avoid aging
As a person who separated from my family years ago, I no longer have any idea 'natural aging' even looks like. In my mind, each person is the same age forever
my girl dinner tn
REAL