NO NEW FRIENDS (My "Extreme Views" on Friendship)
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- Опубликовано: 20 июн 2023
- Want to SCALE your business? Go here: acquisition.com
Want to START a business? Go here: skool.com/games
If you’re new to my channel, my name is Alex Hormozi. I’m the founder and managing partner of Acquisition.com. It’s a family office, which is just a formal way of saying we invest our own money into companies. Our 10 portfolio companies bring in over $200,000,000+ per year. Our ownership stake varies between 20% and 100% of them. Given this is a YT channel, and anyone can claim anything, I’ll give you some stuff you can google to verify below.
How I got here…
21: Graduated Vanderbilt in 3 years Magna Cum Laude, and took a fancy consulting job.
23 yrs old: Left my fancy consulting job to start a business (a gym).
24 yrs old: Opened 5 gym locations.
26 yrs old: Closed down 6th gym. Lost everything.
26 yrs old: Got back to launching gyms (launched 33). Then, lost everything for a 2nd time.
26 yrs old: In desperation, started licensing model as a hail mary. It worked.
27 yrs old: "Gym Launch" does $3M profit the next 6 months. Then $17M profit next 12 months.
28 yrs old: Started Prestige Labs. $20M the first year.
29 yrs old: Launched ALAN, a software company for agencies to work leads for customers. Scaled to $1.7mmo within 6 months.
31 yrs old: Sold 75% of UseAlan to a strategic buyer in an all stock deal.
31 yrs old: Sold 66% of Gym Launch & Prestige Labs at $46.2M valuation in all-cash deal to American Pacific Group. (you can google it)
31 yrs old: Started our family office Acquisition.com. We invest and scale companies using the $42M in distributions we had taken + the cash from the $46.2M exit.
32 yrs old: Started making free content showing how we grow companies to make real business education accessible to everyone (and) to attract business owners to invest or scale their businesses.
34 yrs old: I became co-owner of Skool.com to help the many people who want to start a business online do so.
Today: Our portfolio now does $200M/yr between 10 companies. The largest doing $100M/yr the smallest doing $5M per year. Our ownership varies between 20% and 100% ownership of the companies. Many of them we invested in early and helped grow (which is how we make our money - not youtube videos).
To all the gladiators in the arena, we’re all in the middle of writing our own stories. The worse the monsters, the more epic the story.
You either get an epic outcome or an epic story. Both mean you win.
Keep crushing. May your desires be greater than your obstacles.
Never quit,
Alex
FULL DISCLOSURE
I make content to make money - just - on a longer time horizon than most. I want to build trust with business owners so we can find the best ones and help them scale. And if they’re awesome, write them a check and go all the way as partners.
These are not EXTREMES, they are TRUTHS that no one likes.
The easiest way I navigate friendship is by identifying who is a Comrade, Constituent or Confidant. Comrades are only my friend because we have a common enemy. Constituents are my friend, but only until they find someone else going in the same direction as myself; but quicker. Confidants LOVE you and aren't afraid to have uncomfortable conversations. Confidants are RARE!
I love this. Thanks for naming the differences, I will be incorporating this answer
I think you meant Comrade for number 3.
@@dejuren1367🏳️🌈
this one is fantastic. thanks
This is actually amazing.
Bro. THIS IS GOLD. I never knew how to explain it, but this is exactly what I’ve practiced for years. I really just don’t have room for friends who aren’t willing to grow WITH me.
prune the tree brotha
Preach it!
agreed; reflecting back on high school (just graduated), its crazy how many friends were only there for me (and vice versa) for a sense of security rather than intellectual stimulation. Everytime I would talk to them about my goals and ask about their, they would steer away the conversation and talk about events in their life. Absolute wasted time in my opinion but glad I've come to the realization now and have been making more mutually valuable friends
You don't understand what friendship is then. I feel sorry for people like you. Life is more than money.
@@TurKishsoulja who said anything abt money?
It’s hard when an old friendship is not aligned anymore, but it’s harder to stay in it. Eye opening video. Thank you. 👏🏾👏🏾
man very true
Where I am
its not hard at all. fuk em
Very true very true
0:39 - I had this painful epiphany last December. I finally realized that the reason why many of my plans never came to fruition is because I had very close friends and family rooting against me. It was not immediately obvious, but I started becoming more aware of microexpressions. One dead giveaway was when I shared my struggles and they were so excited to hear about it. But when things are uneventful, or even going well in my life, they wanted to redirect the conversation to talk about my struggles. It was very odd behavior, but I knew something was off whenever I felt worst after sharing my struggles with certain people. I am a closed book now.
My motto going forward: "Saying Yes to New Experiences and No to new people." I am living an amazingly interesting life now just flying solo. It was difficult removing some of those emotional tethers I had to my previous circle, but I am grateful I did because I can no longer be manipulated.
Live that motto. And to prevent anyone from rooting against you, never tell anyone your goals until they have been accomplished.
Don’t tell anyone your game plan, because not everyone is on your team.
As I work more on myself and my goals I have realized that my friends stopped inviting me to hangout and they barley talk to me. Part of the process tho. Friends will come and go.
so u haven't noticed once before that "your friends" were fake ?.
As a woman, I can relate to this. If you’re improving your life in any way, most friends will try to take you down or won’t be truly happy for you. It’s hard to find genuine friends. Also I know ppl who have a lot of friends but it’s so evident they’re not genuine and think less of their friends / don’t like them.
I agree, tho it's not true in my experience.
That's especially true for women.
also a woman and can't agree more. But for my 2 cents, most of the "friends" i was surrounded with were the opposite: they essentially had no legitimate goals in life and lived every moment passively. Reflecting back, I can't believe how naive I was, wasting my time trying to explain my goals with them and helping them improve but they never had the inherent DESIRE to grow.
Now in professional settings, I realize instead of investing your time trying to change someone's mindset with little return, I just let them go unremorsefully
I was pretty lucky to find an amazing gem of a friend that called me out on my crap but was the only one who told me she was proud of me for getting my masters'. Not even my partner said that. When you find a genuine person, that friendship is worth putting your time and love into.
As a woman, I wholeheartedly agree. I discovered my so-called friends to be “Good time Charlie’s” and users after my husband passed away. Having a blast now traveling the world solo with no friends and it is the most peaceful and fulfilled I have ever felt. I have. I took (nor any desire) to try again for friendship. I am done!
This is so important especially for women who are taught bff best friends forever and we bend over backwards to keep people around that we should not. There are friendship upgrades and friendship downgrades.
You've just helped me to get some closure on my chilhoodfriendships that have faded.
Damn, some of these videos can hit hard in the feels.....
Thank you
Same. Very grateful for Alex putting this out there.
Expectation: "No new friends"
Reality: "Few old friends"
Fuck ‘em 👍
I love this! Women experience this in a more catty and many times much more vicious way. Thank you for sharing this perspective.
Completely agree!!
That everlasting comparison,aren’t tired already,, jz
I've lost virtually all of my friends just from achieving limited success, they became very bitter and would constantly try to bring me down, I agree that it's better to have no friends than enemies that pretend they are your friends.
Character is who you are when no one is watching.
Friendship is how you talk about your friends when they aren’t around.
👌👏
You absolutely nailed this one. Everyone has those kinda resentful “friends” at some point. Gotta get rid of ‘em. It’s tough tho especially when you grew up with them. No one I meet later on my journey resents me. Only people who’ve known me for a longer time
I used to conflate the value of a friendship with the amount of time I've been friends with that person. Couldn't have been more wrong. The friends you grow up w generally become your competition to see who did better in life. New friends don't have this dynamic as much if at all.
I used to think it was toxic to have the mentality of "ditching" old friends after making it, but now I understand old friends can be the number one source of toxicity fighting against your mental health.
@@howtoactuallyinvest Totally agree with this statement
Yup going through this right now, it’s hard because you’ve known them Half your life…
@@THE-ANOMALYYY absolutely. That's why I choose distance over drama and disrespect. Group chat is still entertaining but I see most of them maybe once or twice a year
Well put!
3:12
4:26 - “People don’t actually want the best for you they want the version of you that best serves them”
5:11 - statements friends will make to keep you where you at
"if there is an easy thing and a hard thing, do the hard thing cause, if the easy thing were right to do, you would've already done it" man thats deep i gotta rewatch this video many times learning each and everything in detail thank you so much alex
I love the tree analogy. Gotta trim the dead leaves, dead weight, pretty much anything or anyone stopping you from growing
Thanks for posting this. It's made me a lot more comfortable with the recent "friendships" I've let go of. It just hurts knowing the years you out in the the esteem you held them, the love you had for them wasn't whole heartedly reciprocated.
This sounds so relatable,sadly I've been in this situations,some people liked me while I looked/seemed lower status,and if when they found out I was smarter,wealthier,had things going good for me they transformed into a monster😅
This is so true. Someone who I would've considered to be one of my best friends really revealed how she wasn't down for me when I had a major project due and she tried to make me feel guilty for prioritizing that over what she wanted in that moment. Real eye opener. I'm blessed to have good family relationships, so I can lean on that at the end of the day and also use that as a yardstick for measuring the health of other relationships.
One of the many reasons I loved team sports as a kid. We united and supported each other towards reaching a common objective. We all worked hard to make one another better. If there was a wink link, we all lost. And wevdidn’t lose much. Our coaches instilled this mindset. We had to wear the same uniforms, track suits, boot colors, and team jackets. Literally one for all and all for one.
You need teammates with a positive attitude, I've had bad experience in team sports. People who would blame others, easily get triggered, etc. Doesn't only work out well, but I get what you mean. If you have good teammates, its a good experience.
It's hard because focused, driven people are rarer. You can't just go to a bar and make friends with them. If you neglect your friendships, if you can't find replacement friends then you will end up feeling isolated.
Small price to pay for finding your purpose and running into like minded people in your life journey.
@@frankjrock You say that but if it makes you depressed it's probably better to just socialise a bit.
I’m was too busy to be depressed. I got enough social interactions on a daily but I noticed peace, tranquility, money and higher quality people entered my life. Things are better now and I safeguard my time and space. All those people I cut out are indefinitely out, and my life is better for it. I double down on high quality relationships and they have been good to me. Best of luck in your journey.
@@frankjrock☑️
I hate and love how accurate this video is to my life right now. Both relationship and friendships, I feel all is going south in every aspect yet the idea of seasons is so valuable. Thank you Alex
Alex Hormozi, you should read Aristotle's view of friendship. It is in his book, Nicomachean Ethics. Three types: friendship of pleasure, friendship of utility, friendship of virtue
The worth of this guy's videos is just incredible
Thanks man for the stuff you give us
I'm so glad you addressed this. I feel the same way. A few years ago, after an extremely traumatic experience, I decided to start living my life on my own terms, and that included distancing myself from friends who had a pattern of toxic behavior, and putting me down because they needed to view me that way to make themselves feel better. Since that change with my discernment, I feel so much stronger, happier, more at peace, and now seeing the results that I want to see in my life.
This is such great advice! When starting a pursuit/business especially, it's really important to have quality people surrounding you!
Excellent video. Investing appropriately in friendships over time is something that I have struggled with in the past. Spending time and energy on a relationship that is not working doesn't work. I particularly like the "comma, and that's okay" idea presented in this video that some friendships last for a time and then paths may diverge, and that's part of life. It's nothing to stress about. Great work, Alex.
This is what i have been practicing for years and I didnt know it until i watched this video. Gives me clarity that not all will stay and their role in your story will end at some point.
I really believe that hanging out in the same place you used to until now isnt really a solid friendship. Well, losers/failures usually stay at the hang out place as they have no choice. Friends who still chose to hang out in the same place are just pretty solid indicator that they are not growing.
Absolute gold Alex. Thank you for these thoughts and helping a recovering people pleaser like myself get better.
Mostly agree about the friendships. In addition There’s a beauty in pouring into people who have nothing to offer you, where it’s just you giving to them. It keeps you humble.
Even people you pour into have to offer something, respect and open ears.
People you pour into aren't friends. It's community service.
Sure. Immediately start being stabbed in the back.
Being friendly doesn't mean they are friends, being friendly means they could become friends
Your view contradicts his transactional view
This is one of the most impactful videos I’ve ever seen in my life. And came at the right time so thank you
Brilliant. Explains clearly about how I never feel guilty for growing out of unfulfilling friendships. And working hard.
This is absolutely fire🔥. This is something I believed for a while now and I’ve sent this to my team. Personally the biggest take away from this was the conversation about keeping the person in the forefront and not just about being right. There’s no reason to need to validate anything. I love this!
Really helpful stuff here, Alex. I have had a hard time in the past conceptualizing how certain relationships are affecting me (though I have gotten better over time). These rules you put forward reminded me we go through seasons in life, and if my goals don't align with the friends in my life's goals, the choice is pretty clear. Thanks for sharing this!!
Alex is the best mentor I’ve ever had so far.
💯 that's exactly where I'm at! And it's true that moving to the top gets lonely but as you said, richer friendships arise from growth.
This is what makes you happy, and it's true you gotta make room for the friends that will push you to do better and be better with same goals
And then there are friend who, no matter how much time you haven't seen each other, you can straight jump back to where you left off and update and be homies with
I've seen quite a number of shorts from you and the advice that you give makes logical sense to me.
I appreciate it.
I love you Alex. Thanks for everything this is amazing! I so excited to see how awesome the world gets with you in it!
This guy is so wise... like he has figured out a lot of things including his relations and I gotta say, I used to have "friends" that had that "enemy" kind of behavior... Its just so easy to let them by because "nobodys perfect" or "everybody needs a friend" but this is line he defines is so easy to spot that helps me remember which friends I need to keep
Love the vid Alex you are a huge insperation!!! you are one of the genuine ones on this platform
Thank you and I really needed to hear this. I am leveling up in all aspects in life. Knowing my worth and purpose. Let’s go y’all!!:) 💪🏽
Love it! Thanks for this! 💪
The video came just in time I need it, thanks Alex, such an honor to learn from you
Real friends are everything especially those who care in every bad situation
I said to my wife a few weeks ago: I want to lose most of my friends.
One of the best approaches to friendship ever.
broke off with 100% of the friends I made in high school (just graduated); best decision of my life so far. the moment I did so, I was opened up to so many new, more valuable relationships - they almost seemed to flow to me automatically
One of the Best videos I’ve watched in a long time. Thank you!
Appreciate you sharing what you do.
Yes!!
People get mad when this is stated.
The thing is, sometimes people just transact in happiness or validation or safety, instead of something tangible.
It's STILL transactional folks!!
Feeling that! If we all thought that way we would actually get better at supporting each other’s goals to succeed instead of tearing others down.
On point 👏🏼
Alex - you are pure Gold. Thank you.
Papa Moz dropping financial and life lessons all day, everyday.
Really interesting view on friendship with someone who's rapidly moving up and across different social groups. Most of us stay or are stuck in the same social circles so this doesn't really apply but it's super interesting how things change when you make significant changes...🙏
Alex's editors are freaking amazing at what they do
Exactly what i needed to hear heading into this new chapter of my life. Passions are coming back and the will to succeed. This whole video feels like its talking to me. Thanks Alex 🤙
The things that have been going in my mind past month has come up to in a video form. Thanks Alex !
I rarely see my best friends, but we are tight and will be there for each other any moment we're needed, but day to day we're cracking on with our goals and dreams and living our lives with our families. Great friends are a contribution to our lives and it's mutual.
I've been feeling this for a while with some current friends and some I've cut away from... I've had a sense that I want to grow in a massive way and the way for that to happen, I know, is to cut away almost all of these relationships. The reason I 'feel' like it's hard is because I've put my identity in creating and developing relationships. Priding myself on my ability to connect and maintain connection... I think I'm beginning to see that those are great skills to have, but that I need to see it differently. That the reality is my growth will be choked out if I have all these other relationships around me that aren't giving me the nutrients I need to succeed and grow. 'They're simply weeds in the garden' so to speak... I have a lot of weeds. It's time to pick and stick with the few and guard my inner circle. It's time to shift my identity and no longer base it around having a large circle of friends.
Actually needed this!
Sick video! Great job Alex. U distilled the meaning of friendship & relationships in a beautiful way. Thank u for giving me the courage to do the same. I thought that only maybe I think like that. Keep up the great work!
Wooow Alex this video resumes everything I’ve been trying to teach my lil sister. LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT!!!
I agree with this video wholeheartedly. Your spot on. There has to be a benefit for each other in our friendship.
im so with this, keep your friends close knit. usually theyre the ones who you went to school with bro
no new friends
needed to hear this...thanks for making the video Alex
Thanks for sharing and huge credit to the editor for the amazing editing. This video has been edited amazingly
Really needed this.
YES.
Listening to you and others, it REALLY makes me wonder what is making me not be on y'alls level.
I have also been saying for a long time that every interaction is transactional.
The amount of times I hear things said by people that are unimaginably successful that parallel my own thoughts on life really makes me wonder what I'm missing/what the difference is between us, so that I can actually get closer to my potential. So I'll keep watching, and maybe eventually I'll find the key.
Lack of action, usually. One's beliefs and mindset doesn't alone create success, without action. No amount of videos watched can replace that.
@@livinginoklahomacityofficial right, I totally get that, I'm wondering what causes the lack of action.
@@Squirrel-zq6oe Lack of action, could be lack of ideas or self-confidence to believe your ideas are good enough. edit: my worst enemy is that I am a perfectionist and don't trust anything is good enough. Got to remember the 80% rule. Get it to 80% what you think is your best and release it, so you can move forward. also, that 80% rule saves time verse value/cost
@@mrmrshel2523 tbh I for sure have a problem with feeling confident in my direction/decisions.
I am worried about choosing the wrong path and feeling like I really f***ed up.
How old are you
Pure Fire. Thank you for making me feel not-crazy. As almost everyone i've taken this approach with has tried to make me feel. Purely because they want to accountability while I have to be accountable.
Preach Alex , thank you for sharing, very insightful into some current issues
Dang mozi channel has grown a lot! Nice work all the best to ya
Thanks again for solid advice.
really needed this video, thanks Alex 🙏🏽
You are very smart bro. The level of deep thought you put into your videos. DAMN
I just started a business and am in second year/season. Been lots of changes, friends included. Been reading and listening to Audible and taking action. Your content is valuable and helpful to me and I take some notes. Thank you
The person you want to become is going to cost you people, spaces and relationships.
Gotta chose the person you're becoming every time
Loving your content Alex 🙌
Alex I appreciate your balanced take of philosophy, psychology and tactical frameworks for dealing with different levels of success, from a place of actually being qualified to speak on it. THANK YOU.
I feel u. Been dropping alot of dead weight off the ship and the ship is coasting much more better now as I continue sailing the rough seas towards my goals in life
I needed to hear this. 🙏
this is awesome man, great way of explaining it !
Very very smart and deep. Thanks dude!
Needed this. Thanks Alex
“People don’t actually want the best for you they want the version of you that best serves them”
Awesome video Alex ❤ 4:28
Solid video. It's neat to see a similar perspective that I've never seen someone actually articulate. I think a big issue a lot of people have is that they're not able to be happy by themselves so friends become the parts of their lives that fight loneliness. People will tolerate destructive "friends" if they fear being alone more than the damage that person does to their lives. The people I know who are self-contained, tend to have better friendships/relationships because they're free to let people into their lives for who they are.
I choose to live my life alone and have more strength, peace, power, happyness, freedom and time and make that change 10 years ago and am now 43.
The more people around you, the more expectations, talk about others, lying, frustrations, negativity, jealousy, double standards, violent, sneakyness, own benefits, hate, judge, comparing etc.....reflection of their broken souls.
People are programmed robot slaves of the system thinking happyness starts with extern factors like status, money, material things that means nothing and its relativ and an illusion create by society.
If your happyness depend on extern factors you will never be because extern factors are endless.
Happyness starts inside you.
And no, i dont feel better then others or superior but more be carefully and awake.
Be the light in your own life.
End of the day do what makes you happy....we came alone and goes alone and in between we are all guests
your surroundings/people around you change when you change. (even family can feel different/somewhat alienated) it was hard to accept that in the beginning but once you get used to it, it feels really good to have "weeded" out. many books talk about this phenomenon too. in the first years i thought i was losing my mind though but then i realized it was the right step. i am squirrel
Amazing Alex, makes so much sense. Thank you
So true. I've had a lot of friendships that had to end so that we both could grow in different directions. It's hard to do but anything worth doing is going to be hard.
100% agree with this!💪🔥
Cher Alex, So profoundly TRUE! I live in a small town, single mother, 2 amazing teen boys and Glowing Up! 40% of the higher ups in town have one by one been trying to destroy me. I am turning my back and lifting my chin ! Blessings Brother
✊🏽♥️💃🏻♥️✊🏽
This is something I didnt realize until after college. There needs to be value in the friendship for both in order for it to last. I have had attachment issues when I felt my close friendships slipping due to having to move alot and not having my father consistently in my life. I learned to look for lime minded people which hqs been hard but Im willing to set my boundary for this.
Amazing video! Totally agree with this! Well said sir!!!!
I agree with all that you said. Thanks Alex for making this video. Once again I have learned something from you. Now it time to apply it.
Great works!! Get after it guys and prosper!
one dude on here i truly respect admire no shortcuts no fillers just plain and simple do the work do the work do the work and with that mentality anyone is boung to make it and worse case scenario you have a good work ethic and can still pay the bills
So true man! I had a long term friendship with a bro. He was heavy into dj stuff and producing music… i was more interested in piano so i studied piano for 10 years. We had good and bad time but i wasn’t awake like I am today. Long story short. I supported him in his dj stuff all the time, i even went with him to Stuttgart and al other parties he had to play music. I alway encouraged him. But now I’m somewhat “good” at piano… i noticed a huge difference in his behavior towards me and when he’s drunk he alway complains that he had it way worse then me and that i am lucky… the problem is that i always some what stand out. And thats not to brag but i didn’t know that first. When it comes to games, sports, woman, my health … i alway excel because I’m very introspective and I’m willing to change for the beter. But i didn’t know that not everyone is like that …
Wow! Thank you so much Alex.
Alex - I'm rooting for you man - and I don't even know you. I've cut out shitloads of friends for the very reasons you're speaking about. I've done some highly successful, military, business, and monetary personal achievements in my life... Some people are on board - others are not. "Boo Fucking Hoo!!" Keep doing your thing, man - Pure value! - Always!!
I had to block a “friend” recently because I got tired of hearing her say “must be nice” to whatever my latest achievement was.. I’m done.. this chapter of my life is invite only.. I’ve earned that stance.
Everything is true if you believe it in your head. If you believe that life is hard, yes it is hard. If you believe that life is beautiful and easy, so be it.
Alex's "no new friends" point of view is correct, for those who confirm it. And vice versa
*Everything is true and everything is a lie. It all depends on your personal beliefs*
it's the same as "whether you believe it or not you're right"
@@petrus2746 Exactly!