“Miller will always be so special to me because of his arrival at the time of my miscarriage.” (Paraphrased) I think that is one of the most beautiful sentiments I have ever heard. What a special perspective God gave you in which to see Miller after your loss. My daughter’s friend lost her baby at the same time my daughter was pregnant. Such a difficult time. I have lost five babies-four between my first two. I felt the presence of the Lord because my hubby and I were never down at the same time. The support was beautiful. I pray God continues to heal your body and your heart as you grieve and mend. 🙏🏾♥️
Your cousin is a delight to listen to! She’s smart, honest, kind and unapologetic. Thank you for starting this series, it brings joy to my life! We struggled with infertility for about 10 years and had our children through IVF. I was pregnant 12 times and was blessed with 3 children, so most of our pregnancies ended in loss. Now I work providing support to those who experience loss and also provide information on fertility treatments since for many Christians as myself reputable scientific information is so essential to make huge life decisions on how to build a family. In a Q&A you answered questions about IVF and I love how kind your answers were, and I’d like to know more about the Mennonite community and their openness to fertility treatments. Recently, my view on surrogacy changed when I met a patient who lost her uterus giving birth to her first child and had more embryos frozen for future siblings to her baby. Her younger sister carried two of her babies to term and now she’s overjoyed with three beautiful, healthy children thanks to modern medicine and the ultimate love gift from her unmarried sister to carry her babies since she couldn’t.
I think the big thing with making surrogacy okay is keeping it in the family. Sisters helping sisters, or even mothers helping carry for daughters is way more tolerable and less of a mess than strangers.
Jayna is speaking some serious TRUTH about the purpose of sex and marriage. So beautiful. Natural Family Planning takes time to learn but it 100% works and you learn so much about your body. Thank you for sharing.
Yes! It teaches you to be aware of and learn your body and the changes that happen within your cycle. When you chart your temperature along with other signs, you see the changes on a graph. It gives you a “picture” of where you are at in your cycle. Your husband can be apart of it by giving you the thermometer in the morning and writing or entering it on your chart. This makes it so that both partners responsible and in the know of where you are at in your fertility.
I agree Jayna is speaking truth, I practice Natural Family Planning, and I have to say that we need to be careful when we say it works 100%, you have to learn it very well for it to work 100% and many times you learn as you go and from the unplanned pregnancies. For example, I have 2 friends who thought they knew it and both got pregnant from early ovulation, they ended their cycle and thought it would be safe that first day, then ovulated 6 days later, had a less then 10% chance and conceived. They were trying not to get pregnant. Of course they welcomed their babies and all but they were already struggling with the children they had and weren't wanting to get pregnant. Its a journey to trust God even with our fertility.
I’m catching up now with your videos. My son was my 6th pregnancy and the only baby that make it. He knows he has 7 older siblings in heaven and sometimes he talks about them and ask questions. Losing babies is hard and I still mourn each one of them.
I had 3 before I experienced my first miscarriage and I can honestly say I didn't really understand why it was so sad to loose a baby only 11 weeks along until it happened to me. It made me realize that the moment we find out we are carrying a new little one we automatically have made room in our hearts for them and unconsciously have already altered the size of our family in our minds. I think this is why it hurts even without ever meeting them.
I’m a grandma and never had a miscarriage but Jana story brought tears to my eyes , her friends 😭 what a beautiful sad story . Dealing with grief is a personal journey for sure !
I am 73 years old and suffered thru 2 tubal pregnancies, leaving me unable to have a child. However, I had a fullfilling career, and it didn't seem to bother my husband to be childless, so that was that. We discussed adoption but my husband was very against it so I let it go. Now I have close nieces and nephews so I am blessed that way, and their children are like grandchildren to us.
It's wonderful that both of you understand that everyone has to grieve in their own way, and that it's necessary for healing to take place. Wise women!
I enjoyed this girl chat so much. I’ve been in tears a ton lately because I can’t get pregnant and seeing others with children is so difficult but the attitude of Miller being extra special because he is a reminder truly spoke to my heart. Thank you for this.
Remember she's speaking for a group of Mennonites, not sure how many believe in contraception/hormonal birth control. I'm Mennonite and never would use it 😉
I miscarried at 15 week end of April. I still want to cry a bit listening to your story, I was due in October. I feel your pain, but God is good, and hopefully we will have more children in the future. May God comfort you, and bring you peace ❤
You lovely ladies did a sensitive job with some tough subjects, but I am certain many benefited from your experience. However difficult the subject your positive attitude even walking through sorrow is an inspiration.
I am in my 40's and my view of hormonal contraception has done a 180. When I was young, I used the pill without a thought. No medical professional took the time to explain how it works. As I became a mother of daughters and more informed on this topic, I changed my mind completely. I really feel that the Holy Spirit brought this change. One tip that I would suggest is to find a physician or midwife whose views on life align with your own if possible. This area of your life is too important to trust to just anyone. My daughter sees a physician trained in NaPro technology which values human life from conception.
That's so true! Mine has changed too. I grew up very worldly. But when I came to the Lord and really actually learned truth on hormonal birth control it is not good for me as a woman. Bc started because it was a eugenics push by Margaret Sanger to keep disabled and colored people from reproducing. That doesn't sit right with my spirit!! Evil!
I’ve felt very strongly, since my first baby, that God should decide when and how many children I have. I have received a lot of negativity for my choice. I have had 3 children in 4 years. Each one is a blessing and so loved. I think some of us are called to do this for a reason and others not. That’s ok. I was made to be a mother. I feel that so strongly. ❤️
Thank you for sharing your story, Jayna! I’ve had 2 miscarriages as well. So painful but I remember the support and love from my family and friends and it really was amazing. And by the way, my oldest daughter’s name is Jayna! Such a beautiful name! ❤️
We lost our baby boy, Judah, at 35 weeks on Christmas Eve and it is the absolute deepest sorrow. I wish people knew that it’s okay to ask about him, even though it’s sad. I don’t think that it’s something you ‘get over’, but that you move forward with.
Yes to the dating and being married young stories/tips/advice. I’m on the other side now, almost 30 myself LOL but still interested on what both of your experiences have been thus far ❤️🙏
I’ve sat here and cried listening to your story. I’m so sorry for the loss of your two babies. I’m at awe at the kindness shown to her from friends and church. Where I go to church people just don’t care, family don’t care. They have the mindset of it’s all about them. No sympathy for you unless you’re in their clique. And I’m not in any of those. You girls are so blessed to have the church family that you have, and each other. God bless you both. I love watching your videos….I think you are an amazing young woman.
It has helped me while I grieve my miscarriage to not use the word “but”. So I don’t say “I’m sad but the babies are in heaven”. I say/think “I’m sad and the babies are in heaven”. The positive doesn’t negate the negative!
I'm a nurse who had a miscarriage March 2020 after years of infertility. I felt defeated for the longest time, but God has blessed me with a 9 month old! I also commented to ask where you got your blouse, it's so cute 😊
Congratulations ❤❤ did you ever come across Napro fertility? I used this as my progesterone was so low I would have had miscarriages if it was not detected...🙏
That must have been so hard. I remarried and although I had a child we wanted one together. It wasn’t to be and it was so hard but I’m so glad I don’t suffer through a miscarriage. Best wishes
Aww I am so sorry to hear about Jana’s miscarriage-I also had one in the last year and the grief was so sore! But good for you to talk about it and helping others by letting them hear your story! The thought that helped me was my baby was now in the grandstands in heaven cheering me and my husband on in our walk with God for the rest of our lives!
We have almost a 4 year gap between #2 and #3 … It was hard Megan, I get it! I saw people have two kids before I could even have one. It’s heart breaking to hear people repeatedly say “Don’t you want more” to which I responded “We are not stopping God, if He wants to give us a baby He will.” And He did 🥰 I actually enjoy the little gap and think His timing was perfect. Because of this experience I no longer comment/question women regarding pregnancy- it’s rude and can really hurt!
I just had my #2, and there is a nearly 4 year gap between my babies also. We wanted our babies earlier in life, and closer together (we had an early miscarriage between babes), but I feel the same as you - God knows His perfect timing, and now I'm thankful for the larger gap.
Your skepticism of fertility awareness methods made me chuckle. One thing I’ve learned through my 3 years of infertility is that there are MANY methods of fertility awareness. The one I’m currently using, the Creighton model, is completely based on cervical mucus observations. Fun fact, sperm can only live in the female body during the time of the month that she has fertile cervical mucus- otherwise they die within hours. And cervical mucus controls the valve of the cervix, allowing sperm to enter or not. I’m not anti birth control pill, but I love that fertility awareness can shed light on all types of hormonal imbalances and health problems instead of simply shutting down your reproductive system. Either way, thanks for promoting open dialogue. 🙂
I love listening to you both! Especially how you are humble and non-judgmental when sharing your convictions. Thank you for sharing on this sensitive topic!
I miscarried years ago and it was seriously traumatic - my heart goes out to anyone who has been through it. Even now I still think about that baby and wonder what may have been, but I'm pretty much at peace with the loss now. It just takes a lot of time and processing ...
amazing how different everyones perspective is,I have a 7 yr old ,4 yr old 3 yr old and a 1 yr old and I LOVE my children.however,Im so thankful for birth control and to have access to it.I was EXREMELY sick with my pregnancies and each one got worse.Iwasnt able to care for my family over my pregnancies and 3 of my babies were extremely colicy.I feel God wants me healthy and present and able to care for my family and not just "pumping out babies" because it "happens naturally". by the way, nothing prevented pregnancies for us except the pill.you name natural prevention ,we tried it.I appreciate that you arent condemning because my viewpoint is totally different and I love your channel😊my focus is on Gods will and raising my children for the Lord and not just having as many kids as possible🙂
My AP biology teacher used to joke "You know what you call people who use the rhythm method????? Parents!" I too was on the pill, which worked great for us, because I find bringing a life into this world and having the resources (both emotional and financial) to give that child a great life so important, that a reliable contraceptive was a must for me.
I always believe that no matter what we do to prevent anything if God wants it to happen it will. The birth control just gives you a little extra peace of mind. I’ll add you to my prayers as a mama!
I had breakthrough bleeding constantly on the birth control pill. My period lasted 12 days! I only used it for three months and went to Natural Family Planning. It was successful for us for 20 years! And thank you for sharing about miscarriage. I had one, and it was a life-changing experience. I will carry that sadness forever. I am doing well, but it is still sad.
Hello! Love these new talks! I’m a mom of 8, and my perspective has changed on children over the 15 years I’ve been raising them. They truly ARE a blessing from God, and should be treated as such. Anyway, I have never been on Birth control, because of the associated risks (cancer, hormonal changes, weight gain,…) and the potential abortion of a viable baby. Thankfully, I went to Bible college for a semester (mostly a waste of money), and did a 4th year class in that semester: ethics. And we discussed BC in it. I also grew up knowing there was another baby before my big brother. I have always wondered if I have a brother or sister in heaven. And I learned as an adult, my mom has always wondered if her uninformed consumption of BC prior to her pregnancy caused the miscarriage. I knew I couldn’t live with that thought. Just a warning to anyone else who may be on the fence. Better to know people are literally living with such thoughts after miscarriage post BC than to be a un-warned and find out the hard way. Sorry if it triggers anyone, but if it saves someone grief, it’s worth it.
Its okay to not want more children. Three is my limit for my family, for my mental health and for my sanity. And thats okay and a blessing to be able to decide for yourself.
Beautiful conversation. We use natural family planning. Currently pregnant with #7, due in July. We lost a baby March 1, 2013. The Lord was gracious to us in that time, and surrounded us with love. Every year I think about what our angel would look like, sound like. We all grieve differently and that's OK. Jayna you are right, having gone through it, we can bless those that do end up going through it.
Thank you so much for being vulnerable and talking about all this. Another tip for supporting women who've gone through miscarriage (especially ones who don't have children earth side yet) is to remember them on Mother's day! Having people recognize I'm still a Mom, and reach out to me on Mother's Day has meant the world to me!
I loved this conversation. I really appreciate how you guys decided to talk about such a controversial topic as birth control. I was completely shocked and horrified when I found out the abortifacient potential of birth control. Its something we need to talk more about in the Christian community and not just blindly accept because our moms did it and pro abortion drs say its okay. You both speak the truth with such Grace. Love the addition of Jayna to your channel Megan 🤍
Jayna you have so much insight about these topics. I wish that miscarriage wasn’t something you’ve had to go through but please know that your story is helping others. You said something about grieving and if it takes 2 days or two years or however long let it happen. (I watched it last night while nursing and I’m paraphrasing) but that stood out to me. You seem so real in the words you share. I love that you’re not a “RUclipsr” because you don’t seem to say only what will please viewers. You share your own beliefs and it’s refreshing.
My thoughts and methods on birth control have changed so much over the years. I started on the pill, then used the barrier method. After our third child and one miscarriage we learned natural family planning and did that for a number of years. After a few more children we felt led to leave it completely in God's hands and let Him be the one to decide how many children we would have. But after number 8 at the age of 38 we decided that was enough and we went back to the barrier method. After 2 more miscarriages in my 40's (both surprise pregnancies) I decided I couldn't handle the rollercoaster of emotions that came with an unexpected pregnancy, learning to accept the pregnancy, and then losing the baby. My husband had a vasectomy even though that was the one thing I said we would never do. Honestly now that he is 50 and I am almost 46 we feel that it was a good decision. The most important thing I think is that couples don't decide once and for all what they want but that they stay open to how God might lead them through His word and other people they might meet, and to always be in prayer about what God wants from them regarding children.
Thank you for your openess and for sharing your perspectives on this topic. I was not taught anything from a "Christian" perspective about birthcontrol till a bit later. Wish older women had shared these things with me before I was in my twenties. And Jayna, appreciate you sharing about your misscarriage. Between my first and second child I had one and I was very similar to you in my reaction. 25 years later I still thank the Lord for His soveirgn Hand in the matter BUT also for His faithfulness in carrying me through the grieving process afterwards. I look forward to eternity w/ that baby!
This is so surprising to me! I always assumed Mennonites didn't use hormonal birth control and use natural family planning and cycle observation to regulate the size of their families. So insightful! Thanks for sharing!
I went off "the pill" after my second daughter was born. I had side effects such as weight gain and a serious lack of sex drive. I have been taking my temperature ever since. We had our third daughter (she was planned) and she is now 4. It has worked out so well for us and I have no desire to go back on hormonal birth control.
This conversation brought up so much for me. In the spirit of not keeping this subject hidden, I'd like to share my story. First of all, I was raised Catholic in a not particularly devout family. I struggled with questions that nobody wanted to work through with me as a child and ultimately chose not to be confirmed and have considered myself agnostic ever since. Unfortunately my mother broke my trust by trying to coerce me into being confirmed on the grounds that it would make everyone else happy, that I would be the first one in the family not to do it, and when those didn't convince me, she tried to bribe me(which I found devastatingly imoral). So when it comes to ethics and how to live a good life, I felt very much like I had to figure it out by myself. Fast forward, my husband(who is an atheist) and I met about 9 years ago and I went on the pill. I went off a year or so before we were married and I did not have a period for 8 months. We wanted a child but 2020 was the year my grandmother died and I was stressed and in grief. 2021 I got pregnant in February and miscarried at the end of March. I was surprised how devastated I was after such a short pregnancy, but early in almost as soon as I knew I was carrying, I had a vision, I felt like I was being visited by the spirit of my child. I saw a shiny, laughing baby with golden curls and was so happy. I'm still devastated to think I will never meet this child. After this we made a lot of decisions that would make having a child inconvenient. We sold our home and moved in with our parents(back and forth), and my husband was adamant that we not bring a screaming newborn into their homes(of course none of them felt that way but I had to respect that he felt strongly about this). So I spent the year learning about fertility and tracking my cycles and come January of this year I had very strong preovulation signs, and I badly wanted to try for a baby. We had decided to wait until we knew we would be in our new home before trying(we are building a house on farmland we bought in 2021), so my husband decided to use a barrier. I felt so strongly that we were supposed to try and guilt that I wasn't taking the opportunity that God was giving me at the time that I wept. Then in March I didn't ovulate at all and I was scared that I had missed my one opportunity. In April I had very minimal/lousy preovulation signs and I didn't think it would be worth bothering to try but my husband(ever a stickler to schedules) said we may as well try because we don't know when it will happen.... and it worked! I am not sure if there is a lesson to be learned from this, some might say that I need to learn to trust my husband more. I do feel like God brought him to me even though, maybe because, he is atheist. We obviously had a secular wedding and I know many would not consider that a marriage at all, but I do. I have struggled with trusting his judgment so if that's what I feel the lesson is maybe it is. I am 16 weeks now, I haven't had an ultrasound but things have been good. I have definitely been more guarded this time and have not connected yet with the spirit of this child. I've been thinking a lot though about how I want to do better for my children in terms of offering them(hopefully many) principles and leadership, and I know that I need a wider community for this. I have been thinking about going to church, but I am not sure that I will ever fully believe and I don't want to feel like a fraud. I guess I felt like sharing because I've really appreciated Jayna's perspective in this series of conversations. Bless you both for opening yourselves up to the world in this way.
I’ve suffered 3 losses, while I don’t understand why God would have me and our family to have to walk through that it definitely grew my faith in God for loving my babies even before I could meet them
Thank you for being so open when talking about birth control. It can be a very taboo subject in many communities, but you approached the topic in a very honest and frank way. I take birth control and have taken it for many years due to PCOS and the hormonal issues associated with it. I was told hormonal birth control actually increases fertility and can cause the conception of multiples when stopped immediately before trying to conceive. In my case, that was very true. I have 5 sons, 4 of them are quadruplets that were conceived following a cycle of birth control and ovulation stimulating medications with an IUI. I also experienced an empty sac pregnancy that needed to be addressed with medications to allow my body to expel the sac since it didn't happen naturally. Thank you so much for opening up this topic! Honest, to the point talk is so important.
I am a Christian and pre -children I thought I would have a big family at least 6 kids. Than after my first daughter I had severe post partum bleeding and ended up having post partum preeclampsia.I was told by my doctor that I wouldn’t necessarily have post partum preeclampsia again my next pregnancy. Three years later I had my second child and was re admitted to the hospital the night of the day I was discharged with post partum preeclampsia again , this time twice as severe. I had to make the decision not to have any more biological children and it is definitely a heartbreaking decision. I hope that my life is worth not risking and I am doing the right thing preventing future pregnancies using protection and in the future my husband is getting a vasectomy.
Thank you for posting this video. I'm not mennonite and I live in a very different culture than you do. I'm sure you are aware but I just wanted to highlight that birth spacing is an important part of taking care of the health og both mother and child. Women need time to recover from pregnancy and child birth and children benefit from having parents that have enough resources (mentally, physically, financially) to support, take care and nurture all of them.
With my first baby I went for my 11 week appointment and they couldn’t hear a heartbeat, it was the scariest moment of my life and because it was covid I was all alone. I went right to the ultrasound, praying the whole time, talking to my baby, begging them to be okay. Then on the ultrasound there she was, perfect, healthy, strong heartbeat! She’s almost 3 now!
I really enjoy listening to your 'Honey I'm Homemaker' videos(your other ones too). Great to have on while I work and helps me work through some of my own questions❤
Turned this on as I was on the way to the post office to send a care package to an old friend who just lost twins. It was encouraging to hear how much this package could mean to her. ❤️
Such an interesting conversation! I go to a Traditional Latin Roman Catholic church, and when my husband and I were taking classes with one of our priests, he wanted us to read Humanae Vitae by Pope Paul VI. It is written from the perspective Jayna was talking about, that children are a blessing from God. I loved reading it because it contained ethical/moral arguments against birth control, abortion, sterilization, etc. I know you two aren't Catholic obviously haha, but I think it is a great read for anyone regardless of their personal faith!
We heard those words from my doctor at 28 weeks and I was devastated. I have a couple of friends who’s babies would be the same age as my daughter and I love seeing them grow. It’s hard to live with the “what ifs” but I have faith maybe one day I know God has been good to us and has a greater plan but there’s not a day that goes by without me wondering how my daughter would be if she had lived… I’m so sorry for anyone else that went through this
Thank you for this very frank discussion on birth control and miscarriage. My friend's daughter miscarried last September. She is still grieving. Thank you for giving her permission to continue to do so. I found your cousin's advice on the journey of grieving to be very healthy. Her moments of grief reminds me of my own journey of the recent loss of my father. Your cousin has become very comfortable in front of the camera very quickly, kudos to her. I look forward to your next installment. ❤❤❤
Jayna seems like such a sweet, honest person. I love that she is sensitive to her conscience and the leading of the Holy Spirit. God is a personal God and He knows each of us individually and what is best for us and our families. I had a miscarriage with twins at 14 weeks...I heard the awful words "there's no heartbeats". I can totally relate to how you felt, Jayna. I grieved deeply. I cried at random times when I didn't want to. Praying over a meal I would burst into tears or when I'd randomly remember they would have been 2 years old... Over time, my heart has healed. The date of their delivery came and went this past February (9 years ago already) and I didn't cry-not because I don't care anymore or have become hard-hearted, but because complete healing has taken place. Through it all, I've learned to trust in Jesus more. I can put my arms around someone else who is suffering loss and truly know what the pain feels like. I know the fear that follows, the unbidden "what if it happens again" thoughts that sneak into your mind. But there is healing for it all in Christ and your faith can come through stronger than when you began. Lastly, I hold my 3rd child in my arms. He's 2 months old. So sweet and perfect. My other two are 7 years old and 11. To some, they may say I'm "starting over" or the age gap between him and the others is "so big". But, don't compare your timeline to someone elses. In our mid 30's we are so glad we have another child. He's a ray of sunshine to our whole family. Another child that I have longed for. A blessing from God, a dream come true, a hope granted, a prayer answered and a desire fulfilled! Children are a blessing!!
I think one thing that is really important to acknowledge when discussing birth control is the gender inequality. There are SO many options for birth control (hormonal, non hormonal, implants, pills, patches, rings, barrier method, Basel method, cycle tracking, etc etc) but with the exception of condoms, it still ALWAYS falls to women to make the decision and have it affect their bodies. Since it also takes a man to create a pregnancy why hasn't there been more research and money put into creating male birth control? And even on a practical level, a woman can have one pregnancy a year, a man could impregnate a different woman every day (not a very PG thing to talk about but it's just scientifically true) so doesn't it make more sense for men to be the ones taking birth control? Most men don't have the slightest clue what women deal with when it comes to these decisions, physically, spiritually, or emotionally, and to me that's very problematic. Because not only do you have mostly male politicians creating laws about these topics and affecting all women, many men don't even know what's going on with their own wives or sisters or daughters and their bodies and decisions. And it leads women to feel even more so like it's our burden alone and we shouldn't talk about it and that's just not okay. It might make for some uncomfortable conversations along the way but we need men who aren't ignorant about the topic and want to help support us in our decisions regarding birth control.
Absolutely - when the pill didn't agree with me after a few months of marriage my husband took care of 'our' contraception by using condoms. I'm sure he didn't love it but he cared enough about me to not want me to be on the Pill (and we didn't want to use the coil). Tho as you say, it was his only option. Used properly there's virtually no risk of 'accidents' (they don't break!) - we had 2 planned pregnancies and now I'm post menopausal so no contraception needed now - hurray!
TheMaryberry153 I understand what you are trying to say. The problem with the whole scenario is that women are the ones who carry and birth the child if there is a pregnancy. Therefore, they have more of a vested interest in whether they can prevent it from happening or not. It’s just human nature to not be as interested in something that may not affect us. The man could just walk away if the woman gets pregnant, but she is the one left dealing with it. I’m not saying this is good, but it’s just the facts. However, when there are two people committed to the Lord and to each other, it is quite a different thing. Committed Christian men do care about their wives and children, so they will see it as a couple issue, not just her problem. If the Lord is not in the relationship, the woman does bear quite a heavy burden and is not protected. She should be very careful who she has sex with. There are very good reasons for the way God designed sex and marriage to work and they are protective of women, not oppressive of women.
I’m 70 and still have tears for three babies I lost, each from different complications. I do have 3 children and 6 grands and my life is truly blessed. But those memories are always there. Back then, no one ever talked about what happened, so I grieved in silence. Oprah had a talk show one day on just this subject and my tears flowed. My sister who lived far away was also watching the show and called me. She said I never knew what to say. We had a good cry by long distance! I’m glad you can talk freely about all of this. Communication is the key. Hugs to both of you.
It has been wonderful listening to you two! I enjoy your cousin and her outlook and her friendship qualities. Megan I know you are unknowingly doing this, but you tend to talk over her or cut her off while she's talking/sharing. It was a little disheartening when she was sharing about her miscarriage to hear you talking/cutting her off. I am looking forward to more of your conversations and the topics you'll be talking about!
What sweet ladies you are to share your lives and difficult times . I’ve found in my life the suffering and loss have made me much better at understanding others and being a support to others .
I had 5 miscarriages and 2 miracle babies. I just had my second boy 9 days ago and I still feel a bit of sadness for my previous losses. It never fully goes away.
That‘s right. The sadness will never go away completly. I had 2 miscarriages last year. But my two angel babys will always be a part of me. A good friend gave me a little bronze angel and it is so special to me.
I love that you do these chats, they are excellent! Soon to be a G-grandmother and a grandmother to 8 now.........so much you know now that was dark secrets never spoken about in my youth. Love that you are so honest and open and can share the difference and respectfulness for all. Excellent. Blessings
Children are such a blessing ❤️ It was great to hear you both have such positive attitudes about children. You both are so powerful and strong. Thank you for sharing
As a Catholic we believe sex is for babies and bonding. I have practiced natural family planning and it is very effective! I take ovulation test and either abstain or have sex depending on if we are trying or not trying for a baby.
When I did NFP cervical position was the best telltale sign for me. I loved how there were like 5 different signs you can choose from. Like it recognises everyone's body is different. I now use barrier now because of a low dose chemo that will cause miscarriage if I conceive. I've had 3 miscarriages (unrelated) so I don't want to needlessly go through that again.
@@stephendvorak060075 yeah thats the differences. Although there's some circumstances one might choose the other, such as medical issues and such! I didn't like hormonal but both nfp and barrier have been good to me.
@@stephendvorak060075 the difference is not artificially blocking the possibility of life. Instead of being able to have sex through out a women cycle NFP forces a couple to practice abstinence and in a way Chasity. I see what you are saying. Those practicing NFP have to be in mind of not turning it into another form of birth control.
Thank you so much for sharing. I had a second trimester miscarriage a few months ago, and was blessed to actually delivery my precious baby and hold him and say goodbye. It was so healing. For me, I really wanted to talk and share about it but nobody wanted me to because it was too sad and awkward for them. I was so sad and sorrowful, but I was also so proud, I had a baby and he was perfect and he never had to face any of the trials or evils of this world. I carried him straight from earth to heaven and even though it is a deep deep hurt and ache, at the same time, I feel grateful and blessed to have had him. Dads don't often feel the pain of miscarriage in the same way that we moms do, but in my case, my husband also held him and cried over him, and was able to empathize with me, which also brought a lot of comfort. I'm so glad you shared. Thank you
I just recently had our third miscarriage a month ago and it rocked me. We have two beautiful sons Gods blessed us with as well but it’s definitely hard
I'm an atheist and love your videos. I have a bit of a different perspective on the use of contraceptives and family planning. I was raised to believe that bringing a child into this world is such a big deal, that you'd better have everything planned just right before doing so and make sure you have ample resources (financial, emotional, time) to provide a great life for that child. Sometimes I feel like religious folks view atheists as not valuing life or children, but just because I choose to use contraceptives and have fewer children doesn't mean I don't value life; from my perspective it is because I value life so much that I plan my family in this way. I think both the religious and atheist perspectives have validity and the key here is to be able to see both sides and tolerate both sides without writing each other off as crazy or heartless. I used the pill for 13 years and it was wonderful! When we felt our family was complete, my husband got a vasectomy since we didn't want any unplanned pregnancies and I didn't want to be on hormones or have a foreign body in my uterus til menopause. Every woman's body and journey are different and I think she should have the freedom to walk the path she chooses.
You two are so adorable. I wish I had a cousin that I could chat to like this - open and honest discussion. My female cousins are all much older and live quite a distance away, and those around my age are male, so no 'lady-topics' chats there. I hope Honey I'm Homemaker is here to stay.
I lost identical twins at 20 weeks several years ago. It was my 2nd pregnancy, and where I'd been super anxious with the first baby (and everything turned out totally normal) I was so confident going into that pregnancy. They were moving like crazy, and I felt pretty good, and then first one and then the other died. Their names are Jacob and Josiah, and burrying them on a hill near our house was still the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. When I got pregnant for the 3rd time about 6 months after we lost the twins, I was so, so anxious and second guessing everything. I went to my 13 week checkup, and they couldn't find the baby's heartbeat, and I was just sick. They got me in for an ultrasound later that day, and it turned out everything was okay! He was just hiding. Pregnancy after miscarriage is hard and can be such a roller-coster of emotions, and it's an experience that so many people have--often multiple times. Thank you so much for sharing your stories so openly and genuinely.
Thank you Meghan and Jayna for sharing your personal stories and offering a mature discourse about birth control and miscarriage. I’m a 39 year-old Christian mother to six living children and one in heaven. Each of our children was planned using modern natural fertility awareness methods during our thirteen year marriage. Modern fertility awareness methods are NOT, “your grandma’s Rhythm Method!” When taught and used properly, modern fertility awareness methods are just as effective as hormonal contraceptives and various barrier methods (because you will be abstaining all together during your fertile window) with none of the side effects, cost, or trips to the doctor.
This is something we as women need to be talking about across the board. No matter our background, color of our skin, religion, etc. Our physical and mental health should be of the utmost importance to us before everything else. We need to be talking to our daughters and granddaughter about this, too.
Megan's concerns at 9:20 are exactly why FAM (fertility awareness method) is a superior method and addresses/solves her concerns: you track your body's signals so you know when you ovulate. You don't rely on an app that predicts based on past symptoms; you watch your body in real, current time. Your cousin's explanation at 25:08 is great. Personally, I use Tempdrop (a wearable BBT sensor) because it finds my true lowest temperature of the night; with the ups and downs of life and schedules and stress and me having PCOS and an irregular cycle, it's the only way to get an accurate temperature, but it's huge. Without it I couldn't know when I ovulated. Even if you take OPKs every day, that only shows the surge before ovulation; it doesn't confirm. A progesterone blood test or the temperature shift is what confirms. I don't bother with OPKs at all (even the super cheap and accurate Wondfos) unless I'm actively TTC. (And without Metformin I likely wouldn't ovulate at all due to the PCOS.) So instead of a daily pill (which I did for 2 years and wonder if it had an effect on my PCOS but I can't be sure), I pop on an armband, and sync it with my phone every 2-3 days. New battery every 6 months or so. Super easy.
Another great show, I really enjoy the two of you together. I'm sorry about Jayna's miscarrieges, that is very difficult to lose a child, and I'm happy she had friends and family around her to support her.
I got a hard time for grieving too much after my miscarriages and I think that’s the best advice you could give to someone going through it is, cling to God, time heals and most important don’t let people. Make you feel bad for grieving after the loss of your baby, no matter how early it was in your pregnancy. God put a soul into your baby from the moment of conception and your feelings are real 😢❤
Oh the goodness, I've been thinking about getting off of my hormonal birth control pill I've been on since a teenager after starting to listen to the Freely Rooted podcast recently. I started at episode 1 so they are definitely not current to current affairs right now. I had a discussion with my husband this afternoon about our agreement in my not taking the pill anymore based on what I'd been learning about the real nature of taking it. AND THEN for this to be your topic and for the information to all line up is so validating ! I didn't even know there was practically a movement going on right now. THANK YOU for bringing up such important, vital and timely topics!
This was all very interesting to me as it presented another side of things I have not experienced. I’m not Mennonite, or Anabaptist or even necessarily “Christian” (although I do believe in Jesus & hold certain beliefs) so naturally I have a LOT of questions and wish I could sit down with the two of you and have an open & sane conversation. As a (mostly) Liberal I have to give you two big kudos for even presenting this conversation right now; good job, ladies! I also want to add that my heart goes out to Jayna and any other women who suffer such a loss ❤️
The method Jayna describes is basically what NFP is and what we Catholics are recommended to do whether we want to try to avoid or try to conceive (tta or ttc). It is a very central theme that attracted me about religion (being brought up atheist): openness to life.
When we got married we were told that children are a blessing and to cherish them as such. There will never be a perfect time to have kids so don’t plan and God will provide. And I have found out that hyper fertility isn’t that common. Most people who never use contraception still only have a baby every 2 or 3 years.
I’ve watched this video twice already. I thank you both from the bottom of my heart for your openness and honesty. These are very important issues for women from all walks of life. Thank you for contributing to a healthy conversation about female reproduction.
Thank you so much for sharing about your miscarriages Jayna. I just had my 12 weeks appointment yesterday and there was no heartbeat and the ultrasound confirmed. This is my 3rd loss out of 4 pregnancies, the first two losses were at 5 and 6 weeks. With my first I felt like I was overreacting because of how sad I was. And people's comments were sometimes very unhelpful. You truly just have to grieve how you need to grieve and not let someone else tell you how. Unfortunately miscarriage is so common, yet most people still don't know how to sympathize, so I appreciate you sharing your thoughts on that. Every time I think about Jesus holding my babies for me I cry, no matter how long it's been.
Excellent conversation and openness ladies!! Bravo!!! As a Roman Catholic, our Faith is often less “direct” about such topics and often gives “rules” without explanation… not all of course, but many…. personally, it is why I feel our young adults can struggle in having the necessary discussions to make their choices. I hope you are typical of your community. What wonderful examples of the blessing it is to be a woman, wife, married and single. Thank you for sharing. May God’s Purpose always be evident to you in even the most difficult and challenging of times. May He comfort you all when His Wisdom is beyond human understanding. May the heavenly babies rejoice as they can love and comfort their families from paradise. God bless ❤️🙏🏻 see you soon.
Roman Catholic here too… actually, our faith is very direct about these things. Birth Control is a huge no as it frustrates God’s creative plans. Humane Vitae is a very well known encyclical that explains it in case you would like to explore further.
Yup. Also gone through a miscarriage. It was so hard. I recognize it all. I left the hospital when I had found out it wasn't going to be a baby. I was alone and felt like I was going to melt down to a pile od water on the ground like I was in a movie. Then 2 years of sorrow, after that it became easier. I would say; let it all out and cry how much you need too to start felling better. I also talked a lot about it.
“It’s a signal” lol! I loved that! BC was terrible for me I had every single side effect! It was terrible. Not to mention our bodies aren’t meant to be stopped like that. Thankfully I stopped it early enough for us to start trying. I personally don’t believe in taking BC because I believe if God is giving us a gift who am I to stop it. We had a baby last October right before you Megan and he passed 4 days after birth full term. I still know he was a blessing and I would never believe BC would have been part of a story for us. We usually follow NFP if we want to wait for children but after his death I didn’t pay attention to any of it. We ended up pregnant again 3 months later and now expecting again. God has a reason for it all.
Oh wow this hits so close to home for me but in a different way. My cousin (like a sister) and I were pregnant almost same time. She lost her daughter at 28 weeks. It was heartbreaking, my daughter ended up being born at 26 weeks weighing 1 lb 6oz. She struggled for months just to live, but she did. She is now 25 years old and completely healthy. It breaks my heart for my cousin because I know my daughter reminds her so much of hers and she struggles with why hers didn’t live when she was older than mine. Unfortunately, she stopped following God not long after this. (She did go on to have 2 healthy boys afterwards) but she no longer goes to church. Please pray for her. And even though I am Baptist not Mennonite, I felt guilty taking the pill after my second child and stopped, hence my daughter came along and was my 3rd child. I had 2 premies out of 3 children and both born early for totally different reasons and both almost cost my life so I decided to have surgery because I felt I was going to lose my life if I had another child. I feel no condemnation in choosing the surgery. I just wish I could have had more children.
You ladies are so much fun together! It's obvious you are dear friends as well as cousins. What a blessing you are being to young women and not so you women. I'm 72yrs old & a Grammy, I had 2 miscarriages between my two daughters. This would have been around 1975 or 76. I was about 6wks pregnant the 1st one and then 8wks the 2nd one. Of course this was before the wonderful pregnancy tests available to women today. It was really hard to deal with the sadness I felt. Everyone acted like it wasn't a big deal even my OBGYN. My husband felt bad for me & sad for our loss but his hormones weren't going crazy either. I'm so thankful that people actually understand how important it is to support women who are dealing with miscarriages. I know I will see my babies in heaven. Thanks for sharing your lives with us. From Texas
Fertility awareness based methods have worked for me for over 5 years and now I am pregnant at 26 with my second baby! I believe that because I hadn’t disrupted my natural cycles I conceived easily on the first try each time. I am hoping to fill our house with lots of littles! Hope more people start to have awareness around their fertility!
This vid makes me want to connect with my girl cousins more! So cool to have conversations like this as older humans. The main reason why I haven’t is that we live in different cities. But that’s not really an excuse. Thanks for the inspiration Megan! I was on the pill in my 20s - terrible - made me fat and lost my sex drive. You are both lucky it didn’t wreck you!
I was on hormonal birth control for 10 years and came off when my husband and i wanted to start trying for a baby and that's when i stumbled upon the fertility friday podcast and natural family planning and told my husband I would prefer to never go back on birth control
It's lovely watching the two of you interact and I am so happy that your church community is able to provide you with such a feeling of support and love. I have been an avid and devoted Christian for 60 years but am currently in the process of having my faith completely deconstruct. I think the way you uplift and support for one another is so lovely and I'm glad for you both. I have at tendency at this point to be very negative about religion because I think the doctrine is so harmful and I don't like listening to you using words like "conviction" and "purpose of God" but then I realize as I listen that your faith community is such an important part of your lives and it helps you to be the wonderful persons that you are becoming. I hope you don't try and provide guidance to your younger sister as it is best she get it from a medical professional, but the two of you and your ability to interact in an honest and lovely way is heartwarming. Jayna, be careful of using your personal experience as a barometer of what is safe and what works. Natural planning does not 100% work and the purpose of marriage is not simply children. Many people cannot have children and they have not failed in achieving the purpose if they don't have them. I love what you both said about not always knowing what is true and doing what you think is best. Best to you both. You young ladies are wise beyond your years!
NFP does not work 100%, neither does HBC. If you look at the Pearl Index you will see that both work to about the same degree. People who think NFP does not work well (or even, that it does not work at all) are ill informed and just think NFP is the same as the Knaus-Ogino-Method or even the "Calendar Method" (the first only works if you have an absolutely reliable hormonal cycle and the second does not work at all). Natural Family Planning is also known as Symtothermal Method and if applied correctly, it is even safer than the pill. But its not a way to make money for Sandoz etc so its not being promoted a lot.
“Miller will always be so special to me because of his arrival at the time of my miscarriage.” (Paraphrased) I think that is one of the most beautiful sentiments I have ever heard. What a special perspective God gave you in which to see Miller after your loss. My daughter’s friend lost her baby at the same time my daughter was pregnant. Such a difficult time. I have lost five babies-four between my first two. I felt the presence of the Lord because my hubby and I were never down at the same time. The support was beautiful. I pray God continues to heal your body and your heart as you grieve and mend. 🙏🏾♥️
Your cousin is a delight to listen to! She’s smart, honest, kind and unapologetic. Thank you for starting this series, it brings joy to my life!
We struggled with infertility for about 10 years and had our children through IVF. I was pregnant 12 times and was blessed with 3 children, so most of our pregnancies ended in loss. Now I work providing support to those who experience loss and also provide information on fertility treatments since for many Christians as myself reputable scientific information is so essential to make huge life decisions on how to build a family.
In a Q&A you answered questions about IVF and I love how kind your answers were, and I’d like to know more about the Mennonite community and their openness to fertility treatments. Recently, my view on surrogacy changed when I met a patient who lost her uterus giving birth to her first child and had more embryos frozen for future siblings to her baby. Her younger sister carried two of her babies to term and now she’s overjoyed with three beautiful, healthy children thanks to modern medicine and the ultimate love gift from her unmarried sister to carry her babies since she couldn’t.
Yes modern medicine is crazy. What a story!
My grandson is a miracle because of surrogacy. He is loved and adored.
I think the big thing with making surrogacy okay is keeping it in the family. Sisters helping sisters, or even mothers helping carry for daughters is way more tolerable and less of a mess than strangers.
Jayna is speaking some serious TRUTH about the purpose of sex and marriage. So beautiful. Natural Family Planning takes time to learn but it 100% works and you learn so much about your body. Thank you for sharing.
Yes! It teaches you to be aware of and learn your body and the changes that happen within your cycle. When you chart your temperature along with other signs, you see the changes on a graph. It gives you a “picture” of where you are at in your cycle. Your husband can be apart of it by giving you the thermometer in the morning and writing or entering it on your chart. This makes it so that both partners responsible and in the know of where you are at in your fertility.
I agree Jayna is speaking truth, I practice Natural Family Planning, and I have to say that we need to be careful when we say it works 100%, you have to learn it very well for it to work 100% and many times you learn as you go and from the unplanned pregnancies. For example, I have 2 friends who thought they knew it and both got pregnant from early ovulation, they ended their cycle and thought it would be safe that first day, then ovulated 6 days later, had a less then 10% chance and conceived. They were trying not to get pregnant. Of course they welcomed their babies and all but they were already struggling with the children they had and weren't wanting to get pregnant. Its a journey to trust God even with our fertility.
Abstinence is the only way to 100% not have children. Not many people want to
Go that route
I’m catching up now with your videos. My son was my 6th pregnancy and the only baby that make it. He knows he has 7 older siblings in heaven and sometimes he talks about them and ask questions. Losing babies is hard and I still mourn each one of them.
I had 3 before I experienced my first miscarriage and I can honestly say I didn't really understand why it was so sad to loose a baby only 11 weeks along until it happened to me. It made me realize that the moment we find out we are carrying a new little one we automatically have made room in our hearts for them and unconsciously have already altered the size of our family in our minds. I think this is why it hurts even without ever meeting them.
You said this well!
I love this. Kids are in in quiet time and I feel like I’m having a chat with my friends. It’s perfect!
So glad you are here! ❤
I’m a grandma and never had a miscarriage but Jana story brought tears to my eyes , her friends 😭 what a beautiful sad story . Dealing with grief is a personal journey for sure !
yes - sad can be beautiful also.
I am 73 years old and suffered thru 2 tubal pregnancies, leaving me unable to have a child. However, I had a fullfilling career, and it didn't seem to bother my husband to be childless, so that was that. We discussed adoption but my husband was very against it so I let it go. Now I have close nieces and nephews so I am blessed that way, and their children are like grandchildren to us.
🥺 I'm sorry about the first part..
It's wonderful that both of you understand that everyone has to grieve in their own way, and that it's necessary for healing to take place. Wise women!
I enjoyed this girl chat so much. I’ve been in tears a ton lately because I can’t get pregnant and seeing others with children is so difficult but the attitude of Miller being extra special because he is a reminder truly spoke to my heart. Thank you for this.
Interesting to hear the mennonite perspective on this. In Catholicism we don't use artificial contraception, just natural family planning.
Yes, as a Catholic myself, I was very surprised to hear this about Mennonites.
Remember she's speaking for a group of Mennonites, not sure how many believe in contraception/hormonal birth control. I'm Mennonite and never would use it 😉
I miscarried at 15 week end of April. I still want to cry a bit listening to your story, I was due in October. I feel your pain, but God is good, and hopefully we will have more children in the future. May God comfort you, and bring you peace ❤
I'm sorry! You are not alone. Im sure October will be a difficult month for you.
Praying for you.
Ya,God is faithful,may He bless you abundantly
I miscarried at 14 weeks in February and it is so painful.
You lovely ladies did a sensitive job with some tough subjects, but I am certain many benefited from your experience. However difficult the subject your positive attitude even walking through sorrow is an inspiration.
I am in my 40's and my view of hormonal contraception has done a 180. When I was young, I used the pill without a thought. No medical professional took the time to explain how it works. As I became a mother of daughters and more informed on this topic, I changed my mind completely. I really feel that the Holy Spirit brought this change. One tip that I would suggest is to find a physician or midwife whose views on life align with your own if possible. This area of your life is too important to trust to just anyone. My daughter sees a physician trained in NaPro technology which values human life from conception.
That's so true! Mine has changed too. I grew up very worldly. But when I came to the Lord and really actually learned truth on hormonal birth control it is not good for me as a woman. Bc started because it was a eugenics push by Margaret Sanger to keep disabled and colored people from reproducing. That doesn't sit right with my spirit!! Evil!
I am with you Deanna! In retrospect…. I would have done differently and am encouraging my daughter differently than what I did ♥️
I’ve felt very strongly, since my first baby, that God should decide when and how many children I have. I have received a lot of negativity for my choice. I have had 3 children in 4 years. Each one is a blessing and so loved. I think some of us are called to do this for a reason and others not. That’s ok. I was made to be a mother. I feel that so strongly. ❤️
Beautiful god bless💜
I was fortunate that breast feeding stopped my ovulation .
Thank you for sharing your story, Jayna! I’ve had 2 miscarriages as well. So painful but I remember the support and love from my family and friends and it really was amazing. And by the way, my oldest daughter’s name is Jayna! Such a beautiful name! ❤️
We lost our baby boy, Judah, at 35 weeks on Christmas Eve and it is the absolute deepest sorrow. I wish people knew that it’s okay to ask about him, even though it’s sad. I don’t think that it’s something you ‘get over’, but that you move forward with.
So sorry for your loss.
Praying for you sweet Meaghan! 🙏🏾 Take your time.
Hugs friend 💙 Judah is always with you
So sorry to read this meaghan. Thoughts with you all 💙
I'm so sorry that this happened.
Yes to the dating and being married young stories/tips/advice. I’m on the other side now, almost 30 myself LOL but still interested on what both of your experiences have been thus far ❤️🙏
I’ve sat here and cried listening to your story. I’m so sorry for the loss of your two babies. I’m at awe at the kindness shown to her from friends and church. Where I go to church people just don’t care, family don’t care. They have the mindset of it’s all about them. No sympathy for you unless you’re in their clique. And I’m not in any of those. You girls are so blessed to have the church family that you have, and each other. God bless you both.
I love watching your videos….I think you are an amazing young woman.
It has helped me while I grieve my miscarriage to not use the word “but”. So I don’t say “I’m sad but the babies are in heaven”. I say/think “I’m sad and the babies are in heaven”. The positive doesn’t negate the negative!
Exactly 💙
From my 3 miscarriages i think the hardest part was grieving alone. The babies can't be real to anyone else like it's to the mother
I'm a nurse who had a miscarriage March 2020 after years of infertility. I felt defeated for the longest time, but God has blessed me with a 9 month old! I also commented to ask where you got your blouse, it's so cute 😊
Congratulations on the baby ♥️
Megan’s is from Inherit Clothing company and was designers by her actually! Sorry if you meant her cousins.
Congratulations ❤❤ did you ever come across Napro fertility? I used this as my progesterone was so low I would have had miscarriages if it was not detected...🙏
That must have been so hard. I remarried and although I had a child we wanted one together. It wasn’t to be and it was so hard but I’m so glad I don’t suffer through a miscarriage. Best wishes
Aww I am so sorry to hear about Jana’s miscarriage-I also had one in the last year and the grief was so sore! But good for you to talk about it and helping others by letting them hear your story! The thought that helped me was my baby was now in the grandstands in heaven cheering me and my husband on in our walk with God for the rest of our lives!
We have almost a 4 year gap between #2 and #3 … It was hard Megan, I get it! I saw people have two kids before I could even have one. It’s heart breaking to hear people repeatedly say “Don’t you want more” to which I responded “We are not stopping God, if He wants to give us a baby He will.” And He did 🥰 I actually enjoy the little gap and think His timing was perfect. Because of this experience I no longer comment/question women regarding pregnancy- it’s rude and can really hurt!
I just had my #2, and there is a nearly 4 year gap between my babies also. We wanted our babies earlier in life, and closer together (we had an early miscarriage between babes), but I feel the same as you - God knows His perfect timing, and now I'm thankful for the larger gap.
Yes, it is totally rude! I felt that a little bit in the 8 months we were trying with our third.
Your skepticism of fertility awareness methods made me chuckle. One thing I’ve learned through my 3 years of infertility is that there are MANY methods of fertility awareness. The one I’m currently using, the Creighton model, is completely based on cervical mucus observations. Fun fact, sperm can only live in the female body during the time of the month that she has fertile cervical mucus- otherwise they die within hours. And cervical mucus controls the valve of the cervix, allowing sperm to enter or not. I’m not anti birth control pill, but I love that fertility awareness can shed light on all types of hormonal imbalances and health problems instead of simply shutting down your reproductive system. Either way, thanks for promoting open dialogue. 🙂
I love listening to you both! Especially how you are humble and non-judgmental when sharing your convictions. Thank you for sharing on this sensitive topic!
Jayna says so much truth in her words. I love hearing her story, because in all this bad time she is happy too.
I miscarried years ago and it was seriously traumatic - my heart goes out to anyone who has been through it. Even now I still think about that baby and wonder what may have been, but I'm pretty much at peace with the loss now. It just takes a lot of time and processing ...
amazing how different everyones perspective is,I have a 7 yr old ,4 yr old 3 yr old and a 1 yr old and I LOVE my children.however,Im so thankful for birth control and to have access to it.I was EXREMELY sick with my pregnancies and each one got worse.Iwasnt able to care for my family over my pregnancies and 3 of my babies were extremely colicy.I feel God wants me healthy and present and able to care for my family and not just "pumping out babies" because it "happens naturally". by the way, nothing prevented pregnancies for us except the pill.you name natural prevention ,we tried it.I appreciate that you arent condemning because my viewpoint is totally different and I love your channel😊my focus is on Gods will and raising my children for the Lord and not just having as many kids as possible🙂
I totally respect your stance!
My AP biology teacher used to joke "You know what you call people who use the rhythm method????? Parents!" I too was on the pill, which worked great for us, because I find bringing a life into this world and having the resources (both emotional and financial) to give that child a great life so important, that a reliable contraceptive was a must for me.
I always believe that no matter what we do to prevent anything if God wants it to happen it will. The birth control just gives you a little extra peace of mind. I’ll add you to my prayers as a mama!
@@christinalaska I appreciate your prayers!
I'm past the age of having babies. But thank you so much for this video. I love hearing how other people live. Thank you so much ladies!
I had breakthrough bleeding constantly on the birth control pill. My period lasted 12 days! I only used it for three months and went to Natural Family Planning. It was successful for us for 20 years! And thank you for sharing about miscarriage. I had one, and it was a life-changing experience. I will carry that sadness forever. I am doing well, but it is still sad.
Hello! Love these new talks! I’m a mom of 8, and my perspective has changed on children over the 15 years I’ve been raising them. They truly ARE a blessing from God, and should be treated as such.
Anyway, I have never been on Birth control, because of the associated risks (cancer, hormonal changes, weight gain,…) and the potential abortion of a viable baby. Thankfully, I went to Bible college for a semester (mostly a waste of money), and did a 4th year class in that semester: ethics. And we discussed BC in it. I also grew up knowing there was another baby before my big brother. I have always wondered if I have a brother or sister in heaven. And I learned as an adult, my mom has always wondered if her uninformed consumption of BC prior to her pregnancy caused the miscarriage. I knew I couldn’t live with that thought. Just a warning to anyone else who may be on the fence. Better to know people are literally living with such thoughts after miscarriage post BC than to be a un-warned and find out the hard way. Sorry if it triggers anyone, but if it saves someone grief, it’s worth it.
Its okay to not want more children. Three is my limit for my family, for my mental health and for my sanity. And thats okay and a blessing to be able to decide for yourself.
I hear you! ♥️
I would love to see and “easy meals that you can put together for gifting to friends/relatives” video!
This is a wonderful idea!!
YES!!
YES!!
Beautiful conversation. We use natural family planning. Currently pregnant with #7, due in July. We lost a baby March 1, 2013. The Lord was gracious to us in that time, and surrounded us with love. Every year I think about what our angel would look like, sound like. We all grieve differently and that's OK. Jayna you are right, having gone through it, we can bless those that do end up going through it.
Thank you so much for being vulnerable and talking about all this.
Another tip for supporting women who've gone through miscarriage (especially ones who don't have children earth side yet) is to remember them on Mother's day! Having people recognize I'm still a Mom, and reach out to me on Mother's Day has meant the world to me!
Love this series! It's like a girl chat with your sisters 😊
That's the goal. So glad you are here ❤️
Sisters! YES!
I loved this conversation. I really appreciate how you guys decided to talk about such a controversial topic as birth control. I was completely shocked and horrified when I found out the abortifacient potential of birth control. Its something we need to talk more about in the Christian community and not just blindly accept because our moms did it and pro abortion drs say its okay.
You both speak the truth with such Grace. Love the addition of Jayna to your channel Megan 🤍
Jayna you have so much insight about these topics. I wish that miscarriage wasn’t something you’ve had to go through but please know that your story is helping others. You said something about grieving and if it takes 2 days or two years or however long let it happen. (I watched it last night while nursing and I’m paraphrasing) but that stood out to me. You seem so real in the words you share. I love that you’re not a “RUclipsr” because you don’t seem to say only what will please viewers. You share your own beliefs and it’s refreshing.
My thoughts and methods on birth control have changed so much over the years. I started on the pill, then used the barrier method. After our third child and one miscarriage we learned natural family planning and did that for a number of years. After a few more children we felt led to leave it completely in God's hands and let Him be the one to decide how many children we would have. But after number 8 at the age of 38 we decided that was enough and we went back to the barrier method. After 2 more miscarriages in my 40's (both surprise pregnancies) I decided I couldn't handle the rollercoaster of emotions that came with an unexpected pregnancy, learning to accept the pregnancy, and then losing the baby. My husband had a vasectomy even though that was the one thing I said we would never do. Honestly now that he is 50 and I am almost 46 we feel that it was a good decision. The most important thing I think is that couples don't decide once and for all what they want but that they stay open to how God might lead them through His word and other people they might meet, and to always be in prayer about what God wants from them regarding children.
Thank you for your openess and for sharing your perspectives on this topic. I was not taught anything from a "Christian" perspective about birthcontrol till a bit later. Wish older women had shared these things with me before I was in my twenties. And Jayna, appreciate you sharing about your misscarriage. Between my first and second child I had one and I was very similar to you in my reaction. 25 years later I still thank the Lord for His soveirgn Hand in the matter BUT also for His faithfulness in carrying me through the grieving process afterwards. I look forward to eternity w/ that baby!
This is so surprising to me! I always assumed Mennonites didn't use hormonal birth control and use natural family planning and cycle observation to regulate the size of their families. So insightful! Thanks for sharing!
I went off "the pill" after my second daughter was born. I had side effects such as weight gain and a serious lack of sex drive. I have been taking my temperature ever since. We had our third daughter (she was planned) and she is now 4. It has worked out so well for us and I have no desire to go back on hormonal birth control.
This conversation brought up so much for me. In the spirit of not keeping this subject hidden, I'd like to share my story.
First of all, I was raised Catholic in a not particularly devout family. I struggled with questions that nobody wanted to work through with me as a child and ultimately chose not to be confirmed and have considered myself agnostic ever since. Unfortunately my mother broke my trust by trying to coerce me into being confirmed on the grounds that it would make everyone else happy, that I would be the first one in the family not to do it, and when those didn't convince me, she tried to bribe me(which I found devastatingly imoral). So when it comes to ethics and how to live a good life, I felt very much like I had to figure it out by myself.
Fast forward, my husband(who is an atheist) and I met about 9 years ago and I went on the pill. I went off a year or so before we were married and I did not have a period for 8 months. We wanted a child but 2020 was the year my grandmother died and I was stressed and in grief. 2021 I got pregnant in February and miscarried at the end of March. I was surprised how devastated I was after such a short pregnancy, but early in almost as soon as I knew I was carrying, I had a vision, I felt like I was being visited by the spirit of my child. I saw a shiny, laughing baby with golden curls and was so happy. I'm still devastated to think I will never meet this child.
After this we made a lot of decisions that would make having a child inconvenient. We sold our home and moved in with our parents(back and forth), and my husband was adamant that we not bring a screaming newborn into their homes(of course none of them felt that way but I had to respect that he felt strongly about this). So I spent the year learning about fertility and tracking my cycles and come January of this year I had very strong preovulation signs, and I badly wanted to try for a baby. We had decided to wait until we knew we would be in our new home before trying(we are building a house on farmland we bought in 2021), so my husband decided to use a barrier. I felt so strongly that we were supposed to try and guilt that I wasn't taking the opportunity that God was giving me at the time that I wept. Then in March I didn't ovulate at all and I was scared that I had missed my one opportunity. In April I had very minimal/lousy preovulation signs and I didn't think it would be worth bothering to try but my husband(ever a stickler to schedules) said we may as well try because we don't know when it will happen.... and it worked! I am not sure if there is a lesson to be learned from this, some might say that I need to learn to trust my husband more. I do feel like God brought him to me even though, maybe because, he is atheist. We obviously had a secular wedding and I know many would not consider that a marriage at all, but I do. I have struggled with trusting his judgment so if that's what I feel the lesson is maybe it is.
I am 16 weeks now, I haven't had an ultrasound but things have been good. I have definitely been more guarded this time and have not connected yet with the spirit of this child. I've been thinking a lot though about how I want to do better for my children in terms of offering them(hopefully many) principles and leadership, and I know that I need a wider community for this. I have been thinking about going to church, but I am not sure that I will ever fully believe and I don't want to feel like a fraud.
I guess I felt like sharing because I've really appreciated Jayna's perspective in this series of conversations.
Bless you both for opening yourselves up to the world in this way.
I’ve suffered 3 losses, while I don’t understand why God would have me and our family to have to walk through that it definitely grew my faith in God for loving my babies even before I could meet them
Perfect timing for this as I’m currently going through a miscarriage. We would have been about 12 weeks along. Thank you for sharing.
Oh Savannah I’m so sorry sweetie. That’s about the time I list my baby too. I had two healthy kiddos after! I will add you to my prayers ❤️
I'm sorry for your loss 😔. You're not alone, God is with you and he will help you through this difficult time 🙏
Praying for your strength
I’m so sorry! Hugs 💙
Very very sorry for your loss, Savannah. I pray your body and heart heal. May God’s peace surround you.
Thank you for being so open when talking about birth control. It can be a very taboo subject in many communities, but you approached the topic in a very honest and frank way. I take birth control and have taken it for many years due to PCOS and the hormonal issues associated with it. I was told hormonal birth control actually increases fertility and can cause the conception of multiples when stopped immediately before trying to conceive. In my case, that was very true. I have 5 sons, 4 of them are quadruplets that were conceived following a cycle of birth control and ovulation stimulating medications with an IUI. I also experienced an empty sac pregnancy that needed to be addressed with medications to allow my body to expel the sac since it didn't happen naturally.
Thank you so much for opening up this topic! Honest, to the point talk is so important.
I am a Christian and pre -children I thought I would have a big family at least 6 kids. Than after my first daughter I had severe post partum bleeding and ended up having post partum preeclampsia.I was told by my doctor that I wouldn’t necessarily have post partum preeclampsia again my next pregnancy. Three years later I had my second child and was re admitted to the hospital the night of the day I was discharged with post partum preeclampsia again , this time twice as severe. I had to make the decision not to have any more biological children and it is definitely a heartbreaking decision. I hope that my life is worth not risking and I am doing the right thing preventing future pregnancies using protection and in the future my husband is getting a vasectomy.
Thank you for posting this video. I'm not mennonite and I live in a very different culture than you do. I'm sure you are aware but I just wanted to highlight that birth spacing is an important part of taking care of the health og both mother and child. Women need time to recover from pregnancy and child birth and children benefit from having parents that have enough resources (mentally, physically, financially) to support, take care and nurture all of them.
With my first baby I went for my 11 week appointment and they couldn’t hear a heartbeat, it was the scariest moment of my life and because it was covid I was all alone. I went right to the ultrasound, praying the whole time, talking to my baby, begging them to be okay. Then on the ultrasound there she was, perfect, healthy, strong heartbeat! She’s almost 3 now!
I really enjoy listening to your 'Honey I'm Homemaker' videos(your other ones too). Great to have on while I work and helps me work through some of my own questions❤
Turned this on as I was on the way to the post office to send a care package to an old friend who just lost twins. It was encouraging to hear how much this package could mean to her. ❤️
May God bless you for blessing her! Trust me, she appreciates it even if she cant find the words to tell you right now.
Wow, what timing. That is so tough.
Such an interesting conversation! I go to a Traditional Latin Roman Catholic church, and when my husband and I were taking classes with one of our priests, he wanted us to read Humanae Vitae by Pope Paul VI. It is written from the perspective Jayna was talking about, that children are a blessing from God. I loved reading it because it contained ethical/moral arguments against birth control, abortion, sterilization, etc. I know you two aren't Catholic obviously haha, but I think it is a great read for anyone regardless of their personal faith!
You're so sweet Jayna. I really appreciated your story.
Aww thanks! So glad you are here!
We heard those words from my doctor at 28 weeks and I was devastated. I have a couple of friends who’s babies would be the same age as my daughter and I love seeing them grow. It’s hard to live with the “what ifs” but I have faith maybe one day I know God has been good to us and has a greater plan but there’s not a day that goes by without me wondering how my daughter would be if she had lived… I’m so sorry for anyone else that went through this
Never knew the tip about ice cubes to water indoor plants!! Thanks for the tip.
Thank you for this very frank discussion on birth control and miscarriage. My friend's daughter miscarried last September. She is still grieving. Thank you for giving her permission to continue to do so. I found your cousin's advice on the journey of grieving to be very healthy. Her moments of grief reminds me of my own journey of the recent loss of my father.
Your cousin has become very comfortable in front of the camera very quickly, kudos to her. I look forward to your next installment. ❤❤❤
Jayna seems like such a sweet, honest person. I love that she is sensitive to her conscience and the leading of the Holy Spirit. God is a personal God and He knows each of us individually and what is best for us and our families.
I had a miscarriage with twins at 14 weeks...I heard the awful words "there's no heartbeats". I can totally relate to how you felt, Jayna. I grieved deeply. I cried at random times when I didn't want to. Praying over a meal I would burst into tears or when I'd randomly remember they would have been 2 years old...
Over time, my heart has healed. The date of their delivery came and went this past February (9 years ago already) and I didn't cry-not because I don't care anymore or have become hard-hearted, but because complete healing has taken place. Through it all, I've learned to trust in Jesus more. I can put my arms around someone else who is suffering loss and truly know what the pain feels like. I know the fear that follows, the unbidden "what if it happens again" thoughts that sneak into your mind. But there is healing for it all in Christ and your faith can come through stronger than when you began.
Lastly, I hold my 3rd child in my arms. He's 2 months old. So sweet and perfect. My other two are 7 years old and 11. To some, they may say I'm "starting over" or the age gap between him and the others is "so big". But, don't compare your timeline to someone elses. In our mid 30's we are so glad we have another child. He's a ray of sunshine to our whole family. Another child that I have longed for. A blessing from God, a dream come true, a hope granted, a prayer answered and a desire fulfilled! Children are a blessing!!
I think one thing that is really important to acknowledge when discussing birth control is the gender inequality. There are SO many options for birth control (hormonal, non hormonal, implants, pills, patches, rings, barrier method, Basel method, cycle tracking, etc etc) but with the exception of condoms, it still ALWAYS falls to women to make the decision and have it affect their bodies. Since it also takes a man to create a pregnancy why hasn't there been more research and money put into creating male birth control? And even on a practical level, a woman can have one pregnancy a year, a man could impregnate a different woman every day (not a very PG thing to talk about but it's just scientifically true) so doesn't it make more sense for men to be the ones taking birth control? Most men don't have the slightest clue what women deal with when it comes to these decisions, physically, spiritually, or emotionally, and to me that's very problematic. Because not only do you have mostly male politicians creating laws about these topics and affecting all women, many men don't even know what's going on with their own wives or sisters or daughters and their bodies and decisions. And it leads women to feel even more so like it's our burden alone and we shouldn't talk about it and that's just not okay. It might make for some uncomfortable conversations along the way but we need men who aren't ignorant about the topic and want to help support us in our decisions regarding birth control.
Wow, this is definitely a perspecitive I haven't taken a lot of time to think about.
Absolutely - when the pill didn't agree with me after a few months of marriage my husband took care of 'our' contraception by using condoms. I'm sure he didn't love it but he cared enough about me to not want me to be on the Pill (and we didn't want to use the coil). Tho as you say, it was his only option. Used properly there's virtually no risk of 'accidents' (they don't break!) - we had 2 planned pregnancies and now I'm post menopausal so no contraception needed now - hurray!
TheMaryberry153 I understand what you are trying to say. The problem with the whole scenario is that women are the ones who carry and birth the child if there is a pregnancy. Therefore, they have more of a vested interest in whether they can prevent it from happening or not. It’s just human nature to not be as interested in something that may not affect us. The man could just walk away if the woman gets pregnant, but she is the one left dealing with it. I’m not saying this is good, but it’s just the facts. However, when there are two people committed to the Lord and to each other, it is quite a different thing. Committed Christian men do care about their wives and children, so they will see it as a couple issue, not just her problem. If the Lord is not in the relationship, the woman does bear quite a heavy burden and is not protected. She should be very careful who she has sex with. There are very good reasons for the way God designed sex and marriage to work and they are protective of women, not oppressive of women.
Or we could stop trying to control what God created and do it the way he meant between one woman and one man.
It’s all about making money. There’s a documentary about birth control..it’s on RUclips .
I'm 57 & a grandma now....we have 5 grown kiddos....totally enjoyed this!! Young women these days NEED to hear this!!🤗🙌
Hugs Jayna 💙 I’ve also had multiple losses. It’s HARD 💙
The infertility/pregnancy loss community has been one of the most welcoming communities 💙
I’m 70 and still have tears for three babies I lost, each from different complications. I do have 3 children and 6 grands and my life is truly blessed. But those memories are always there. Back then, no one ever talked about what happened, so I grieved in silence. Oprah had a talk show one day on just this subject and my tears flowed. My sister who lived far away was also watching the show and called me. She said I never knew what to say. We had a good cry by long distance! I’m glad you can talk freely about all of this. Communication is the key. Hugs to both of you.
Megan!!!!! Please turn the sign my OCD is going crazy watching that sign hanging vertically 😂😂😂😂🙃
It has been wonderful listening to you two! I enjoy your cousin and her outlook and her friendship qualities. Megan I know you are unknowingly doing this, but you tend to talk over her or cut her off while she's talking/sharing. It was a little disheartening when she was sharing about her miscarriage to hear you talking/cutting her off.
I am looking forward to more of your conversations and the topics you'll be talking about!
What sweet ladies you are to share your lives and difficult times . I’ve found in my life the suffering and loss have made me much better at understanding others and being a support to others .
I love this series so much! I am unmarried and I feel like this is a trusted source with similar values for my future. Please keep this going!
I had 5 miscarriages and 2 miracle babies. I just had my second boy 9 days ago and I still feel a bit of sadness for my previous losses. It never fully goes away.
You are right, it doesn't go away 💔
❤️
That‘s right. The sadness will never go away completly. I had 2 miscarriages last year. But my two angel babys will always be a part of me. A good friend gave me a little bronze angel and it is so special to me.
I hope you continue this series for a long time! Love the authenticity and willingness to dive into tough topics. You are both so sweet.
I love that you do these chats, they are excellent! Soon to be a G-grandmother and a grandmother to 8 now.........so much you know now that was dark secrets never spoken about in my youth.
Love that you are so honest and open and can share the difference and respectfulness for all.
Excellent.
Blessings
Children are such a blessing ❤️ It was great to hear you both have such positive attitudes about children. You both are so powerful and strong. Thank you for sharing
Juana, thank you for your honesty and vulnerability. God bless you 🙏🏽
As a Catholic we believe sex is for babies and bonding. I have practiced natural family planning and it is very effective! I take ovulation test and either abstain or have sex depending on if we are trying or not trying for a baby.
When I did NFP cervical position was the best telltale sign for me. I loved how there were like 5 different signs you can choose from. Like it recognises everyone's body is different.
I now use barrier now because of a low dose chemo that will cause miscarriage if I conceive. I've had 3 miscarriages (unrelated) so I don't want to needlessly go through that again.
What is the difference between hormonal birth control and NFP? Both prevent pregnancy; one using a physical device the other, timing!
@@stephendvorak060075 yeah thats the differences. Although there's some circumstances one might choose the other, such as medical issues and such! I didn't like hormonal but both nfp and barrier have been good to me.
@@stephendvorak060075 the difference is not artificially blocking the possibility of life. Instead of being able to have sex through out a women cycle NFP forces a couple to practice abstinence and in a way Chasity. I see what you are saying. Those practicing NFP have to be in mind of not turning it into another form of birth control.
@@evelynkrull5268 NFP is super cool! I am very sorry for your loss.
Thank you so much for sharing. I had a second trimester miscarriage a few months ago, and was blessed to actually delivery my precious baby and hold him and say goodbye. It was so healing. For me, I really wanted to talk and share about it but nobody wanted me to because it was too sad and awkward for them. I was so sad and sorrowful, but I was also so proud, I had a baby and he was perfect and he never had to face any of the trials or evils of this world. I carried him straight from earth to heaven and even though it is a deep deep hurt and ache, at the same time, I feel grateful and blessed to have had him. Dads don't often feel the pain of miscarriage in the same way that we moms do, but in my case, my husband also held him and cried over him, and was able to empathize with me, which also brought a lot of comfort. I'm so glad you shared. Thank you
Wow, what an achingly beautiful story. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for sharing.
I just recently had our third miscarriage a month ago and it rocked me. We have two beautiful sons Gods blessed us with as well but it’s definitely hard
I'm an atheist and love your videos. I have a bit of a different perspective on the use of contraceptives and family planning. I was raised to believe that bringing a child into this world is such a big deal, that you'd better have everything planned just right before doing so and make sure you have ample resources (financial, emotional, time) to provide a great life for that child. Sometimes I feel like religious folks view atheists as not valuing life or children, but just because I choose to use contraceptives and have fewer children doesn't mean I don't value life; from my perspective it is because I value life so much that I plan my family in this way. I think both the religious and atheist perspectives have validity and the key here is to be able to see both sides and tolerate both sides without writing each other off as crazy or heartless. I used the pill for 13 years and it was wonderful! When we felt our family was complete, my husband got a vasectomy since we didn't want any unplanned pregnancies and I didn't want to be on hormones or have a foreign body in my uterus til menopause. Every woman's body and journey are different and I think she should have the freedom to walk the path she chooses.
👏🏻 well put!
Thanks for sharing, i appreciate that perspective.
You two are so adorable. I wish I had a cousin that I could chat to like this - open and honest discussion. My female cousins are all much older and live quite a distance away, and those around my age are male, so no 'lady-topics' chats there. I hope Honey I'm Homemaker is here to stay.
I lost identical twins at 20 weeks several years ago. It was my 2nd pregnancy, and where I'd been super anxious with the first baby (and everything turned out totally normal) I was so confident going into that pregnancy. They were moving like crazy, and I felt pretty good, and then first one and then the other died. Their names are Jacob and Josiah, and burrying them on a hill near our house was still the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. When I got pregnant for the 3rd time about 6 months after we lost the twins, I was so, so anxious and second guessing everything. I went to my 13 week checkup, and they couldn't find the baby's heartbeat, and I was just sick. They got me in for an ultrasound later that day, and it turned out everything was okay! He was just hiding. Pregnancy after miscarriage is hard and can be such a roller-coster of emotions, and it's an experience that so many people have--often multiple times. Thank you so much for sharing your stories so openly and genuinely.
Thank you Meghan and Jayna for sharing your personal stories and offering a mature discourse about birth control and miscarriage. I’m a 39 year-old Christian mother to six living children and one in heaven. Each of our children was planned using modern natural fertility awareness methods during our thirteen year marriage. Modern fertility awareness methods are NOT, “your grandma’s Rhythm Method!” When taught and used properly, modern fertility awareness methods are just as effective as hormonal contraceptives and various barrier methods (because you will be abstaining all together during your fertile window) with none of the side effects, cost, or trips to the doctor.
This is something we as women need to be talking about across the board. No matter our background, color of our skin, religion, etc. Our physical and mental health should be of the utmost importance to us before everything else. We need to be talking to our daughters and granddaughter about this, too.
Wow I didn't think Mennonites actually were okay with birth control. This was such an interesting and informative video!
Megan's concerns at 9:20 are exactly why FAM (fertility awareness method) is a superior method and addresses/solves her concerns: you track your body's signals so you know when you ovulate. You don't rely on an app that predicts based on past symptoms; you watch your body in real, current time. Your cousin's explanation at 25:08 is great. Personally, I use Tempdrop (a wearable BBT sensor) because it finds my true lowest temperature of the night; with the ups and downs of life and schedules and stress and me having PCOS and an irregular cycle, it's the only way to get an accurate temperature, but it's huge. Without it I couldn't know when I ovulated. Even if you take OPKs every day, that only shows the surge before ovulation; it doesn't confirm. A progesterone blood test or the temperature shift is what confirms. I don't bother with OPKs at all (even the super cheap and accurate Wondfos) unless I'm actively TTC. (And without Metformin I likely wouldn't ovulate at all due to the PCOS.) So instead of a daily pill (which I did for 2 years and wonder if it had an effect on my PCOS but I can't be sure), I pop on an armband, and sync it with my phone every 2-3 days. New battery every 6 months or so. Super easy.
Another great show, I really enjoy the two of you together. I'm sorry about Jayna's miscarrieges, that is very difficult to lose a child, and I'm happy she had friends and family around her to support her.
I got a hard time for grieving too much after my miscarriages and I think that’s the best advice you could give to someone going through it is, cling to God, time heals and most important don’t let people. Make you feel bad for grieving after the loss of your baby, no matter how early it was in your pregnancy. God put a soul into your baby from the moment of conception and your feelings are real 😢❤
Oh the goodness, I've been thinking about getting off of my hormonal birth control pill I've been on since a teenager after starting to listen to the Freely Rooted podcast recently. I started at episode 1 so they are definitely not current to current affairs right now. I had a discussion with my husband this afternoon about our agreement in my not taking the pill anymore based on what I'd been learning about the real nature of taking it. AND THEN for this to be your topic and for the information to all line up is so validating ! I didn't even know there was practically a movement going on right now. THANK YOU for bringing up such important, vital and timely topics!
This was all very interesting to me as it presented another side of things I have not experienced. I’m not Mennonite, or Anabaptist or even necessarily “Christian” (although I do believe in Jesus & hold certain beliefs) so naturally I have a LOT of questions and wish I could sit down with the two of you and have an open & sane conversation. As a (mostly) Liberal I have to give you two big kudos for even presenting this conversation right now; good job, ladies! I also want to add that my heart goes out to Jayna and any other women who suffer such a loss ❤️
The method Jayna describes is basically what NFP is and what we Catholics are recommended to do whether we want to try to avoid or try to conceive (tta or ttc). It is a very central theme that attracted me about religion (being brought up atheist): openness to life.
When we got married we were told that children are a blessing and to cherish them as such. There will never be a perfect time to have kids so don’t plan and God will provide. And I have found out that hyper fertility isn’t that common. Most people who never use contraception still only have a baby every 2 or 3 years.
My parents didn't use any kind of birth control, for religious reasons, and there was a baby about every 1.5 years.
@@Sisterlisk that is much more common than what Juia Smet claims!
@@sallyannc3176 I never used bc and only had a kid every 3.5 years
@@soldieroflife4449 lucky you!
My fertility returns at between 12 and 15 months postpartum. My babies are all 2-3 years apart. I have 9 so far.
I’ve watched this video twice already. I thank you both from the bottom of my heart for your openness and honesty. These are very important issues for women from all walks of life. Thank you for contributing to a healthy conversation about female reproduction.
Thank you so much for sharing about your miscarriages Jayna. I just had my 12 weeks appointment yesterday and there was no heartbeat and the ultrasound confirmed. This is my 3rd loss out of 4 pregnancies, the first two losses were at 5 and 6 weeks. With my first I felt like I was overreacting because of how sad I was. And people's comments were sometimes very unhelpful. You truly just have to grieve how you need to grieve and not let someone else tell you how. Unfortunately miscarriage is so common, yet most people still don't know how to sympathize, so I appreciate you sharing your thoughts on that. Every time I think about Jesus holding my babies for me I cry, no matter how long it's been.
This series is such a beautiful idea. You and Jayna are helping many women. 💝💝
Excellent conversation and openness ladies!! Bravo!!! As a Roman Catholic, our Faith is often less “direct” about such topics and often gives “rules” without explanation… not all of course, but many…. personally, it is why I feel our young adults can struggle in having the necessary discussions to make their choices. I hope you are typical of your community. What wonderful examples of the blessing it is to be a woman, wife, married and single. Thank you for sharing.
May God’s Purpose always be evident to you in even the most difficult and challenging of times. May He comfort you all when His Wisdom is beyond human understanding. May the heavenly babies rejoice as they can love and comfort their families from paradise.
God bless ❤️🙏🏻 see you soon.
Roman Catholic here too… actually, our faith is very direct about these things. Birth Control is a huge no as it frustrates God’s creative plans. Humane Vitae is a very well known encyclical that explains it in case you would like to explore further.
@@atroy1983 thank you.
Yup. Also gone through a miscarriage. It was so hard. I recognize it all. I left the hospital when I had found out it wasn't going to be a baby. I was alone and felt like I was going to melt down to a pile od water on the ground like I was in a movie. Then 2 years of sorrow, after that it became easier. I would say; let it all out and cry how much you need too to start felling better. I also talked a lot about it.
“It’s a signal” lol! I loved that!
BC was terrible for me I had every single side effect! It was terrible. Not to mention our bodies aren’t meant to be stopped like that. Thankfully I stopped it early enough for us to start trying. I personally don’t believe in taking BC because I believe if God is giving us a gift who am I to stop it. We had a baby last October right before you Megan and he passed 4 days after birth full term. I still know he was a blessing and I would never believe BC would have been part of a story for us. We usually follow NFP if we want to wait for children but after his death I didn’t pay attention to any of it. We ended up pregnant again 3 months later and now expecting again. God has a reason for it all.
Oh wow this hits so close to home for me but in a different way. My cousin (like a sister) and I were pregnant almost same time. She lost her daughter at 28 weeks. It was heartbreaking, my daughter ended up being born at 26 weeks weighing 1 lb 6oz. She struggled for months just to live, but she did. She is now 25 years old and completely healthy. It breaks my heart for my cousin because I know my daughter reminds her so much of hers and she struggles with why hers didn’t live when she was older than mine. Unfortunately, she stopped following God not long after this. (She did go on to have 2 healthy boys afterwards) but she no longer goes to church. Please pray for her. And even though I am Baptist not Mennonite, I felt guilty taking the pill after my second child and stopped, hence my daughter came along and was my 3rd child. I had 2 premies out of 3 children and both born early for totally different reasons and both almost cost my life so I decided to have surgery because I felt I was going to lose my life if I had another child. I feel no condemnation in choosing the surgery. I just wish I could have had more children.
Thanks for sharing your story. That sounds so hard!
Oh, you poor lady!😥
It’s so refreshing to see woman who value the life of the unborn .
You ladies are so much fun together! It's obvious you are dear friends as well as cousins. What a blessing you are being to young women and not so you women. I'm 72yrs old & a Grammy, I had 2 miscarriages between my two daughters. This would have been around 1975 or 76. I was about 6wks pregnant the 1st one and then 8wks the 2nd one. Of course this was before the wonderful pregnancy tests available to women today. It was really hard to deal with the sadness I felt. Everyone acted like it wasn't a big deal even my OBGYN. My husband felt bad for me & sad for our loss but his hormones weren't going crazy either. I'm so thankful that people actually understand how important it is to support women who are dealing with miscarriages. I know I will see my babies in heaven. Thanks for sharing your lives with us. From Texas
Fertility awareness based methods have worked for me for over 5 years and now I am pregnant at 26 with my second baby! I believe that because I hadn’t disrupted my natural cycles I conceived easily on the first try each time. I am hoping to fill our house with lots of littles! Hope more people start to have awareness around their fertility!
This vid makes me want to connect with my girl cousins more! So cool to have conversations like this as older humans. The main reason why I haven’t is that we live in different cities. But that’s not really an excuse. Thanks for the inspiration Megan!
I was on the pill in my 20s - terrible - made me fat and lost my sex drive. You are both lucky it didn’t wreck you!
I highly recommend the book Taking Charge if Your Fertility. Great if you want to take charge of your reproductive health.
I was on hormonal birth control for 10 years and came off when my husband and i wanted to start trying for a baby and that's when i stumbled upon the fertility friday podcast and natural family planning and told my husband I would prefer to never go back on birth control
It's lovely watching the two of you interact and I am so happy that your church community is able to provide you with such a feeling of support and love. I have been an avid and devoted Christian for 60 years but am currently in the process of having my faith completely deconstruct. I think the way you uplift and support for one another is so lovely and I'm glad for you both. I have at tendency at this point to be very negative about religion because I think the doctrine is so harmful and I don't like listening to you using words like "conviction" and "purpose of God" but then I realize as I listen that your faith community is such an important part of your lives and it helps you to be the wonderful persons that you are becoming. I hope you don't try and provide guidance to your younger sister as it is best she get it from a medical professional, but the two of you and your ability to interact in an honest and lovely way is heartwarming. Jayna, be careful of using your personal experience as a barometer of what is safe and what works. Natural planning does not 100% work and the purpose of marriage is not simply children. Many people cannot have children and they have not failed in achieving the purpose if they don't have them. I love what you both said about not always knowing what is true and doing what you think is best. Best to you both. You young ladies are wise beyond your years!
NFP does not work 100%, neither does HBC. If you look at the Pearl Index you will see that both work to about the same degree. People who think NFP does not work well (or even, that it does not work at all) are ill informed and just think NFP is the same as the Knaus-Ogino-Method or even the "Calendar Method" (the first only works if you have an absolutely reliable hormonal cycle and the second does not work at all). Natural Family Planning is also known as Symtothermal Method and if applied correctly, it is even safer than the pill. But its not a way to make money for Sandoz etc so its not being promoted a lot.
Symptothermal. Dont know where that p went