Hello Friends - my link to get mental health counseling through "BetterHelp" is live: betterhelp.com/rory If you are looking to try mental health counseling but don't have insurance, or live in a part of the world where it is harder to do then this is your chance to get the help. I'm in talks with the company to interview one of their counselors so we can hear the opinions and thoughts of what a typical session is like, their thoughts on breakups and reconciliation with an EX, and much more. BetterHelp only employs licensed mental health professionals (State & board certified)! I am sponsored by BetterHelp - seems like a win-win.
You get broken up. You discover Rory and the Dating Guy. You do no contact. You may get your ex back, you may not, you may realize that you deserve someone better, you will eventually heal (1% a day, maybe a bit less, but you do some healing). Eventually you stop watching Rory's and dating guy's videos because you no longer need advice because you are slowly moving on. But then Rory kicks in with a great video, not necessarily focused on a breakup situation, but a video that is quite helpful and inspiring, because in the end, it's not all about the breakup that leads us here, in the end is about growing up as the best person we could possibly be. And that's beautiful, because you no longer need advice on your breakup situation that happened because somehow you needed to overcome yourself, but these guys here keeps guiding you to a better level.
I want to share with you my success story. My ex bf broke off with me last year and it took him 9 months to contact me in Jan this year. I was on NC. May he went on silent mode again after he was angry with my unpleasant comment. I was on NC for 3 months and I decided to reach out to him after carefully understanding what went wrong. Today we went on a date again! We are so comfortable with each other. But this time I make sure I do ALL my homework. I do not want to come back here again. But I am soooooo grateful to Rory. Thank you Rory!
Remember that you can keep doing things over and over, but that doesn't mean that you're going to replace your ex with that thing. That thing is also not just something to keep you busy either. Finding hobbies and interests is just something that most adults should do because we all need to figure out who we are. Our entire life is basically a journey of self discovery. You can add new people into your life, new routines, change your location, but the ex is still there in the back of your head. It sort of helps to realize that the ex may always sort of be "in there" in a way. People come and go into our lives and some of them may never really "leave" per se. You just have to learn to live with it; like a scar. Once you accept that, it makes it easier for you to go forward. Who knows, you may actually find what you need in your life.
2.5 weeks into a situation I’ll never go back to. My life goes on but my joy is gone. I’m working out, I’m taking to other people. I’m going through the motions. I am trying. The only answer is time. It’s hard but I’m determined to get my joy back. It will come.
The Love Chat yeah! After the coaching we did on Sunday. I feel more confident about myself and goals in the military and nursing, I’m the dumpee but I feel like a winner and rare guy to find.
I used to play your videos all over and over again while i am taking a walk. I listen your videos less and less these days but still looking forward to listening to your new videos. I still feel lost but there are some days I feel hopeful. And It does feel better and better everyday. Thank you for all the motivations! ❤
almost 2 months after the break up, today is the day I can finally say I'm indifferent to whether she comes back or not. I truly thought and somewhat still think that she is the one, I begged cried and pleaded for a month, sent those fucking letters, which I'm really embarrassed about now, and wished I never followed TLC and Bacon's advise.. All it did was prolong my suffering and possibly ruin any chances that I had left, I'm just glad my ex was compassionate and understanding about what I was going through, and never acted cold. Thank you Rory for all your videos, I have found peace within myself more than ever before. On a side note, I'm marking today as the day that I'm over my Ex, lets see if the "disturbance in the force" is has any truth.
It's been 5 months since she left. We were house shopping. I was building a life around her and her kids. Now I've heard nothing from her in 5 months. Every time I think I'm getting better, I have another bad day. Like today. I'm doing my best to move forward. But this has to be the worste break up I've ever been through. I feel like she doesn't even give me a thought. I feel like all of our mutual friends hate me now. I really did nothing to deserve this. I was good and loyal to her for 3 solid years. Wtf?
Dead on where I am at right now.... been out of my relationship a year. I do not want my ex back. This is where I’m at in my life right now just trying to accomplish goals and find the energy. I love this video it helped my thoughts. Thanks
The weird thing with me is that i do not want the toxic narc back. But i cant stop ruminating about all bad, negative shit i so willing endured for 4 years. But yes, one must try to stay busy, get their hobbies back. Move on, etc.
The most important thing for your mental peace is to forgive yourself and stop blaming yourself. If you ever heard of “inner child” and “reparenting”, look into it. Whenever those dark thoughts come, be easy on yourself, talk to yourself as if you are talking to a child, or if this situation happened to a dear friend of yours and he/she needed the comfort. Become aware of the negative narrative in your head, and talk to yourself with compassion and love ❤️ I hope this helps a little
This all comes back to the question of who am I .. Identify yourself with the formless identity which is the awareness and that is your essence reality. Suffering and this feeling of lost comes when you identify yourself with the form identity i.e the body ,mind , personality, your past life story , relationships and so on. Ego is always trying to attract us towards this form identity. I would like to remind you that life, in essence is and will always be the present moment no matter what and that is you.
I wanna share my success story. After 60 days no contact my ex came and dropped off a handwritten note at my door with something else that belonged to me. In the note he told me he has started seeing a therapist and is taking care of his mental health and attachement issues. He apologized for in his words “putting me through his own mental agony”. He said he missed me and that if I ever wanted to talk again to reach out. It’s not the typical “I want you back” story but I’m so happy he listened to me and started seeing a professional about his issues. It was also really good for me to get his apology. I’m scared of getting my hopes up again so for now I’m just focusing on me still and taking things as they come. Maybe there’s still a chance for us, or maybe this was just the closure I needed. I’m not sure, only time will tell.
Thanks so much, Rory. I have become a faithful listener since a breakup about a month ago. Which I did not see coming. I have learned a lot about myself, and am still learning. I have studied attachment styles, and understand so much more as to the Why, now. She is dismissive avoidant, and I am anxious attached....not a great combo. She totally ghosted me! Will not respond to me, see me, nothing! Driving me nuts! Understanding attachment styles better helps me understand, but it does not take away the hurt. I have been feeling lost lately. This was perfect timing. Thank you. Its definitely a process. I am going to start the process of working toward a secure attachment. And, I am learning how to spot an avoidant. Anyway....thank you!!
I’ve been binge listening for the last 4 weeks. 2 months post break up and I’m very much exhausted from thinking. It is 100% time to start doing and to stop thinking. Fortunately I do many of the things you suggest before the break up, but it still sucks. So I choose to act positively. I don’t like my situation, but how I respond is 100% down to me. From one science brain to another (I’m a nutrition coach) thanks brother.
Brother Thankyou! ...I'm f#*ked up over this 14 year relationship that ended 2 -3 moths ago,I just subbed! I'm 40 so I feel like my options aren't what they used to be,gets me down sometimes,im 3 weeks no contact! Feels like hell,did I mention I gave up cigarettes & drugs 2 weeks before she dumped me,man what a year.
Thank you Rory! Believe me younger people, self mastery works on all levels! " One day at a time" ! You will become stronger, more confident, and trust in THE ONE you really want to impress! YOU!!!!👏
Hey Rory, I just wanted to say thank you. I was completely blindsided 4 months ago (no signs, no fights or previous feedback where I was going wrong) and thought I would never recover from it, but I followed your advice religiously and I’m in a much better place now. I haven’t spoken to my ex since the moment of the breakup and I feel stronger than ever now. I always forward your videos to friends/people I know and they all love you. Keep being the genuinely nice human being that you are.
PLEASE make a video on the idea of *falling out of love.* Or a video where you discuss dumpers who reveal feeling confused on if they really ever felt love / true feelings throughout the relationship? ... I just found your channel after getting dumped by my first real boyfriend, and after him saying he lost interest / was confused / felt less enjoyment / was falling out of love and took everything back I can’t wrap my head around how it’s possible to fall out of love with someone when nothing has changed in an happy, healthy relationship??
Sh*t Rory, this is so accurate. For me - and especially the Jordan Peterson part, but generally everything you say here - I learned so much from both you and him. (yes, I'm putting you right next to JP. Hey, it's my recovery alright, I decide who's valuable! ) The reason I played this is video is not because I'm lost anymore. But man was I for a long time. truely lost. But I pressed play because I couldn't wait to listen to what you were going to say about this topic. Simply because I knew I was going to hear so many things about how I used to feel, but do not anymore. And that feels sooooo good :-) Life is smiling at me once again. Im writing this for everyone who is lost.. You can, and will get out of it, IF you choose to. Trust Rory, trust time, trust yourself. Rory, I applaud you, thank your for everything
Completely gone through this. I’ve been waiting for the perfect ambition to hit me for a new career...I spent years thinking and not doing, well - now I’ve been accepted into University in Sept!
The community here and at dg’s channel are the best❤️ so supportive and understand my feelings better then my closest friends and even myself. Thank you all and especially Rori for what you do! Couldn’t handle this tough times without you.
Yes!! I do that, reflect on journals to gauge where I am at from where I was. Moments of feeling lost, and moments of feeling free. I love these videos...🙌😇🙌
Thank you for your video. This year was hard, I quit my long time job, my girlfriend broke up with me, I started a degree. So many changes, I hope everything will turn out even better than before
Very helpful. Thank you. I feel lost as I interview for a new job. My current job has been a disappointment and I suppose I wish I never came here, however, I didn’t have many options when I took this job and I needed to get my career started. My concern is the next place will evolve in a similar path. I leave here because it sucks and I leave there in a year or two for the same reason. Do I know what I want? I have an idea. Is it concrete and defined? Not exactly. I’ll go to this interview, do my best, move on from my current situation, and start a fresh chapter. Here we go!
I made a mistake. After my breakup of 2 years. About 6 months after. I found someone. And it interrupted my self improvement. I became attached. Not in love. But.... I liked her. A lot. And now shes gone too. And I'm just ... kinda here.
We all should be in like a grp together where we can talk and get load off our chest because the pain we’re feeling it’s unbelievable feels like killing inside that pressure and anxiety is the worst pain I’ve ever felt in 21 years of my life, it’s hard to act like strangers w someone you that you gonna marry one day
😭 this is how I feel Rory and i will try this because I trust your words. I became a United states marine this year because i listened to the words you spoke of self improvement and that 1% better rule. Bit it seems as i have hit a wall and fallen again but I trust that this will help
Thanks Rory.. Your videos made me strong.. And finally at the 46th day of no contact.. She reached.. I am blessed... I am amazed... Thank you for the help... Now I am a better version of myself...
Well it was tough at the start... But now everything is fine... We're just having some casual talk everyday.. But she is definitely more attracted to me now... Coz I really don't care if she is with me or not coz I am enjoying my life at its best💪
I'm working hard, but still in a very emotional state... the ending of this honestly brought me to tears... I apologize in advance for crying on our Skype meeting Monday.
I was like you 10 years with my ex she was 15 I think and I was 17 we were together 10 years then she cheated on me with 3 guys and i was totally lost still need to find my self slowly.
Could you do a video on, if you reunite with your ex, when and how to address feelings relating to the breakup and how it was done? Like if you don't want to get into the ugly stuff right away but it needs to be addressed.
I tried listening to Jordan Peterson but I find myself drifting and not paying attention because for me, he goes off on all these tangents and analogies and frankly, I don't have the time. AND being back in grad school, I have enough abstract, critical thinking tasks that take so much of my day that I prefer the quick and dirty truth - and that's what Rory delivers here. We are ALL different, of course, and relate to others in our own way - and maybe you disagree - but just sharing my thought on JP. I prefer people getting to the point when it comes to the fundamental pearls of wisdom of how to live my best life, so I can spend the bulk of my time putting it into practice and living it, not just hearing someone weave some long story into something that Rory makes very simple! 😁
Thank God for you and my dog. Your readings keep me where I should be and my dog keeps me going 4 5 times a day . We are in good shape. From walking it keeps my mind somewhat straight. I try to keep very busy. No one has ever dumped me before and never again. I am having a very hard time with this but you certain ly have gave me advice which I truly follow. I even do journaling. Thank you sssooò much. Take care hugsx
Okay the real problem isn’t getting your ex back, it’s getting back into shape. I just had the first run in months after soccer stopped and it was hard. I feel so good after it though
He doesn't trust me. I lied him, but everybody says it was stupid thing to break up with me. I'm on week 2 on no contact. How can I show him, he can trust me?
Your videos tend to analyze very thing so detailed, I'm feeling lost too even after 4 months since breakup (3 months since no contact) she blocked me several times for no reasons, she hasn't reached out. I'm Ok but sometimes I think of her at night, hard to sleep.
Probably a bit of a niche topic but could you consider making a video of the ‘dumper experience’ but when the person feels they did not want to break up but they had to. I’m in a weird position where I wanted things to work so badly and kept giving chances but he just could not follow through on promises of changing and kept letting fear, depression, emotional avoidance stop him from doing the work needed to improve. I wanted to be part of his journey and help but felt all my energy and effort was being put into making it work and I was continuously being told I had to ‘wait’ for the boyfriend I deserved. I had to finish things to protect my own energy but I feel now we’re both in a weird position of feeling like the ‘dumpee’. Bit of a weird one but would love to hear your thoughts.
I was with this girl for 4 years and we did everything together we lived together and were talking about a family and stuff we had a big fight an she got Physical and she has anger issues an she left says shes not happy and i never listen yes i was making some mistakes but i was working i know shes lost she hates her job shes hates what shes doing in life but i dont see why she left an is being so cold she packed up an left i miss her every day everything remineds me of her its been 2 weeks just lost yes im working on my self i came to light with my self but i miss an love her 😔💔
been a month of nc its been hard but getting thur it was going good having fun chilling working out then yesterday ball of emotion hit me sat there and cried then worked out. she really fucked me up thx rory
I don’t want to feel so crushing when I see her with someone else but I do, I’m tired of people saying to focus on myself because I don’t really care for anything anymore. I don’t have anything or anyone to look forward to, so that makes me think of her everyday, for no reason something tells me it’s coz she misses me it’s weird she’s in a new relationship now. I’m so quick to temper these days and have 0 patience with people maybe I have trust trauma or jus don’t believe I could care again.
Here's my situation. My ex didn't respect my boundaries and we couldn't come to a compromise. I ended the relationship and let her go. I broke her heart and my own heart too. We agreed that we'll work on ourselves as individuals and when time comes again we can try again. Deep down I hoped she'd change her mind after some time and we could come together. But she started seeing someone 3 weeks after the breakup. I think she's still not over but but using the new guy as a distraction. I'm still hurting by myself... I don't know if I could ever take her back because of how insecure she is. She needed to find someone new to fill the void. But I also miss her deeply and wish things didn't turn out the way it did. I just wished she fought for us a little more
Hey Rory, my ex reached out after a month! she said she missed me and a part of her wants to come back but still sounded unsure. We are meeting up to give back old stuff and idk what to do. Take care Rory :)
Good timing Rory, we had a phone session about a month ago my situation was a little more complicated, still NC with the Ex GF over a month now not going to lie its still tough but I'm working on me physically and picking up hobbies and the mental work is processing. Well the Divorce is almost done with the Ex wife part of my complicated reasons on my breakup with the Ex GF. But also building the relationship with my biological father who I recently found during all this and getting the finances straightened out. There is a lot of positives I am focusing on that has been happening to me, so yeah it's still tough cause it's still pretty fresh but i have that focus so if she reaches out for reconciliation or not I am truly becoming a better version of myself..Oh and I always make my bed..lol..even before the breakup..Thanks Rory
I get an unbearable throat discomfort when I constrict myself to do something I don't want to do out of discipline. It feels like I'm getting choked almost. And I want to cry and make strange instinctive strong body movements. How the hell can I get over this?
Thank you Rory. Needed this today.. wondering if you had any videos on losing someone twice. Having 2 years apart and then getting back together to be dumped again. We were stronger this time around so it hurts more this time.
Hey Rory, my ex broke up with me one month ago after a 1 year and 7 month relationship, saying she loves me but is in a point of her life, where she needs to be by herself. She will be moving eiter to the netherlands or to austria to study in october. We live in germany and are 20 years old. Is there any chance that she will come back and if yes, does it even make sense to reconcile with her, when she is moving anyways? I loved her a lot and we had a great relationship, and she told me several times, that I have been the best boyfriend possible and that I am very attractive and that stuff and that she is thankful for having had me in her life. The time is really anything but easy for me because I do not fully understand why she broke up, exept for us having different intressts and „growing apart“ as she said
So iam a month in the break up she was with someone eles with in 2 week so I listened to you I gave my self 2 weeks then I wrote a plan so I joined the gym a week ago I when there just for a 10min jog that's it and iv learning a new song on my new guitar my goal for today is to run for 11mins and play the guitar for 30mins to hour also room is tidy and clean and I started treating my self new colone this isn't the end of the world nore my life this is a chance to say ok what can I do for me as I put too much into her this time is for me and even if I meet someone eles I will not change gym and guitar with be the 2 things I will do for me no matter what
What if he never will talk to me again? I lost a friend and the love of my life. I don't feel like anyting gives me joy. It been over a year since, and I am stuck. What if he never loved me at all? Most days I just feel like I don't exist anymore, no one actualy talks to me and I am afraid of everyting and everyone now.
Reminds me of a pretty obscure reference, Oliver Stone's 'Alexander'. Close to death, Alexander ponders on what is happiness, to quote "Happy? What is happy? When your mind and body are stretched to breaking, and you have no thought beyond the next, you look back then and there it was! Happiness. In the doing, never the thinking. end quote - I think that rings true to many of us dealing with a breakup.
I feel lost, my ex fiance left me a week ago after 12.7 years relationship. I don't even feel like what is the purpose of me chasing my purpose anymore. I know it temporary but still very painful. I started NC last Friday, but she kept on texting about how I am which i didn't not reply. But when she text about important information that we share i had no choice but to reply.
I try to find woman online and it seems like fantasy, woman that look as cute as my ex won't reply. Those women seems like they're better than they are when they're outside.
Topic: my ex unfollowed me on Instagram, hid all of my stories on other platforms. To put it in a simple way, she hid and put away Everything that has to do with me. PS: as I walked by her the other day, she didn't look my way and kept looking the other way whilst having a pokerface.
Its been 1year since my ex broke up i was happy doing things i love i was whole again but as time pass it suddenly hit me again with sadness i dont know why ive been social uve been moving places but why still there are days i cant stop thinking about her
Hey Rory, man she reached out and then she got cold. I reached out to her after 5 days but she was still a bit angry. And she blocked me on WhatsApp again. Please temme.. What should I do? Shall I go for no contact again? Man it feels like it's the first day of break up again😭😭.. I don't know what she wants. If she didn't wanna talk then why did she reached out? Why did she unblocked me?
Doing no contact after known someone long distance for few months. I can't help thinking if no contact won't have impact any impact due long distance and break up after few months.... Any suggestions
@Othman Youma I’m in the same situation at the moment I’m in the U.K. and he’s in Ohio USA we haven’t spoken in two weeks I really don’t think he gives a crap about the whole situation TBH it’s painful 😖😖😖. I pray you get closure 😊😊😊
Hey Rory this may sound like a ridiculous question to you but I would like your thoughts on whether you believe that Karma is real, or in other words what goes around comes around? I’ve listened to most of your videos and I know you have said we all have free will and there’s no magic force that determines our fate but do you believe that if you’ve made the mistake of treating people poorly in your life at some point you will have to eventually pay the price for it?
what do I do if we broke up but now shes not sure if she likes guys anymore she thinks she wants girls I'm currently in no contact for the last 2 and a half months the breakup was 3 months ago
Hey Rory! Thank you for all that you do! I have been in NC for about 3 weeks now. I have one concern. I know that it’s not recommended To reach out during NC, but I haven’t seen this specific topic covered. I know that my ex has a pending surgery coming up. I want to reach out and make sure that they’re okay after the surgery. Do you see anything wrong with that? Or should I remain in NC. For this case I would only send a brief message to ask if they’re doing okay and then leave it at that. Thoughts?
hey rory. ex left about 3 months ago. she's messaged twice since asking to meet up and text again but i refused her offer. Romance or nothing. Silence from her for 3 weeks. i want to not want her but eh that's life. Life goes on and I am trying not to think of her.
Ask yourself, If you want her back then meet with her and slowly work things out. But if you want to move on then politely tell her that you want to move on. 👍
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Hello Friends - my link to get mental health counseling through "BetterHelp" is live: betterhelp.com/rory
If you are looking to try mental health counseling but don't have insurance, or live in a part of the world where it is harder to do then this is your chance to get the help.
I'm in talks with the company to interview one of their counselors so we can hear the opinions and thoughts of what a typical session is like, their thoughts on breakups and reconciliation with an EX, and much more. BetterHelp only employs licensed mental health professionals (State & board certified)!
I am sponsored by BetterHelp - seems like a win-win.
You get broken up. You discover Rory and the Dating Guy. You do no contact. You may get your ex back, you may not, you may realize that you deserve someone better, you will eventually heal (1% a day, maybe a bit less, but you do some healing). Eventually you stop watching Rory's and dating guy's videos because you no longer need advice because you are slowly moving on. But then Rory kicks in with a great video, not necessarily focused on a breakup situation, but a video that is quite helpful and inspiring, because in the end, it's not all about the breakup that leads us here, in the end is about growing up as the best person we could possibly be. And that's beautiful, because you no longer need advice on your breakup situation that happened because somehow you needed to overcome yourself, but these guys here keeps guiding you to a better level.
Hallelujah 😍 X!!
@Mark very well said bro
there was a stage that you think everything is getting better then 1 day you wake up and boom! you are back to start. And it hurts so much
Me this past week.
@@the_skyefull but im okay now. And you will be too.
Its been a year but still i think of her just like wtf
Me today. How's your situation? Are you feeling better?
@@NotreDameBellRinger i am happy now and have moved on completely. Life is so good.
I want to share with you my success story. My ex bf broke off with me last year and it took him 9 months to contact me in Jan this year. I was on NC. May he went on silent mode again after he was angry with my unpleasant comment. I was on NC for 3 months and I decided to reach out to him after carefully understanding what went wrong. Today we went on a date again! We are so comfortable with each other. But this time I make sure I do ALL my homework. I do not want to come back here again. But I am soooooo grateful to Rory. Thank you Rory!
Remember that you can keep doing things over and over, but that doesn't mean that you're going to replace your ex with that thing. That thing is also not just something to keep you busy either. Finding hobbies and interests is just something that most adults should do because we all need to figure out who we are. Our entire life is basically a journey of self discovery. You can add new people into your life, new routines, change your location, but the ex is still there in the back of your head. It sort of helps to realize that the ex may always sort of be "in there" in a way. People come and go into our lives and some of them may never really "leave" per se. You just have to learn to live with it; like a scar. Once you accept that, it makes it easier for you to go forward. Who knows, you may actually find what you need in your life.
2.5 weeks into a situation I’ll never go back to. My life goes on but my joy is gone. I’m working out, I’m taking to other people. I’m going through the motions. I am trying. The only answer is time. It’s hard but I’m determined to get my joy back. It will come.
Never click so fast...getting better everyday after the coaching.
This made my day!
@@TheLoveChat you made everyone's day Rory! :D
The Love Chat yeah! After the coaching we did on Sunday. I feel more confident about myself and goals in the military and nursing, I’m the dumpee but I feel like a winner and rare guy to find.
I used to play your videos all over and over again while i am taking a walk. I listen your videos less and less these days but still looking forward to listening to your new videos. I still feel lost but there are some days I feel hopeful. And It does feel better and better everyday. Thank you for all the motivations! ❤
You're doing better and better - proud of you!!
I prayed last night to find my purpose in life. My prayer was answered with this simple yet deep video. Thanks Rory. God bless all you do!
You are so welcome! I'm glad it was helpful!!
almost 2 months after the break up, today is the day I can finally say I'm indifferent to whether she comes back or not. I truly thought and somewhat still think that she is the one, I begged cried and pleaded for a month, sent those fucking letters, which I'm really embarrassed about now, and wished I never followed TLC and Bacon's advise.. All it did was prolong my suffering and possibly ruin any chances that I had left, I'm just glad my ex was compassionate and understanding about what I was going through, and never acted cold. Thank you Rory for all your videos, I have found peace within myself more than ever before.
On a side note, I'm marking today as the day that I'm over my Ex, lets see if the "disturbance in the force" is has any truth.
It's been 5 months since she left. We were house shopping. I was building a life around her and her kids. Now I've heard nothing from her in 5 months. Every time I think I'm getting better, I have another bad day. Like today. I'm doing my best to move forward. But this has to be the worste break up I've ever been through. I feel like she doesn't even give me a thought. I feel like all of our mutual friends hate me now. I really did nothing to deserve this. I was good and loyal to her for 3 solid years. Wtf?
Have faith in yourself bro, you are way stronger than you think and in time you will find out who you truly are, just apply yourself man
@@dalemcfarlane5074 Thank you. I appreciate the support.
How are you doing now Nicolas ?
@@carollann26 up to 10 months. Facing the holidays alone but staying busy. You?
Dead on where I am at right now.... been out of my relationship a year. I do not want my ex back. This is where I’m at in my life right now just trying to accomplish goals and find the energy. I love this video it helped my thoughts. Thanks
The weird thing with me is that i do not want the toxic narc back. But i cant stop ruminating about all bad, negative shit i so willing endured for 4 years. But yes, one must try to stay busy, get their hobbies back. Move on, etc.
The most important thing for your mental peace is to forgive yourself and stop blaming yourself. If you ever heard of “inner child” and “reparenting”, look into it. Whenever those dark thoughts come, be easy on yourself, talk to yourself as if you are talking to a child, or if this situation happened to a dear friend of yours and he/she needed the comfort. Become aware of the negative narrative in your head, and talk to yourself with compassion and love ❤️ I hope this helps a little
This all comes back to the question of who am I .. Identify yourself with the formless identity which is the awareness and that is your essence reality. Suffering and this feeling of lost comes when you identify yourself with the form identity i.e the body ,mind , personality, your past life story , relationships and so on. Ego is always trying to attract us towards this form identity. I would like to remind you that life, in essence is and will always be the present moment no matter what and that is you.
I wanna share my success story. After 60 days no contact my ex came and dropped off a handwritten note at my door with something else that belonged to me. In the note he told me he has started seeing a therapist and is taking care of his mental health and attachement issues. He apologized for in his words “putting me through his own mental agony”. He said he missed me and that if I ever wanted to talk again to reach out.
It’s not the typical “I want you back” story but I’m so happy he listened to me and started seeing a professional about his issues. It was also really good for me to get his apology.
I’m scared of getting my hopes up again so for now I’m just focusing on me still and taking things as they come. Maybe there’s still a chance for us, or maybe this was just the closure I needed. I’m not sure, only time will tell.
Update?
Update?
@@dominiccampana7385 guess no update 🤷♀️ lol
update?
After a 13 months since the breakup... I don't even know why and what do I miss anymore.
I’m approaching 15 months and it’s gotten so much easier but it still does hurt though
6 months and still hurting
10 months still hurts the breakup
12 months and i'm still lost and heartbroken. I still breakdown a few times a week. Its been so awful. Does it ever get better?
Almost 3 months for me. Scares me that People are still hyrt after so many months...
Thanks so much, Rory. I have become a faithful listener since a breakup about a month ago. Which I did not see coming. I have learned a lot about myself, and am still learning. I have studied attachment styles, and understand so much more as to the Why, now. She is dismissive avoidant, and I am anxious attached....not a great combo. She totally ghosted me! Will not respond to me, see me, nothing! Driving me nuts! Understanding attachment styles better helps me understand, but it does not take away the hurt. I have been feeling lost lately. This was perfect timing. Thank you. Its definitely a process. I am going to start the process of working toward a secure attachment. And, I am learning how to spot an avoidant. Anyway....thank you!!
I’ve been binge listening for the last 4 weeks. 2 months post break up and I’m very much exhausted from thinking. It is 100% time to start doing and to stop thinking. Fortunately I do many of the things you suggest before the break up, but it still sucks.
So I choose to act positively. I don’t like my situation, but how I respond is 100% down to me.
From one science brain to another (I’m a nutrition coach) thanks brother.
It's hard.. We all know.. But we all can get through it.. Just stay positive and work on yourself... ✌
I cried so much listening to this. You hit a nerve Rory, once again. Thank you ♥️
You are so welcome!!
I don't skip ads, I click on them on Roary's videos.
I've been doing all the work and it's been almost 4 months now and I totally can relate to this.
Brother Thankyou! ...I'm f#*ked up over this 14 year relationship that ended 2 -3 moths ago,I just subbed! I'm 40 so I feel like my options aren't what they used to be,gets me down sometimes,im 3 weeks no contact! Feels like hell,did I mention I gave up cigarettes & drugs 2 weeks before she dumped me,man what a year.
Don’t break no contact gym and family is your priority make some friends or old friends some new hobbies, enjoy life
Thank you Rory!
Believe me younger people,
self mastery works on all levels! " One day at a time" !
You will become stronger, more confident, and trust in THE ONE you really want to impress! YOU!!!!👏
Hey Rory, I just wanted to say thank you. I was completely blindsided 4 months ago (no signs, no fights or previous feedback where I was going wrong) and thought I would never recover from it, but I followed your advice religiously and I’m in a much better place now. I haven’t spoken to my ex since the moment of the breakup and I feel stronger than ever now. I always forward your videos to friends/people I know and they all love you. Keep being the genuinely nice human being that you are.
I'm so glad the channel has helped you! Thank you for your support!
It’s okay to feel like you’re lost. Whatever it is that you feel lost from could be on its way to find you. Remember that you’re on an adventure
I cleaned my house, thanks man for encouraging me to do that!😊
This channel deserves many more subscribers. I love Rory’s breakup advice but mostly, his dating advice.
Thank you very much for your support!
PLEASE make a video on the idea of *falling out of love.* Or a video where you discuss dumpers who reveal feeling confused on if they really ever felt love / true feelings throughout the relationship? ... I just found your channel after getting dumped by my first real boyfriend, and after him saying he lost interest / was confused / felt less enjoyment / was falling out of love and took everything back I can’t wrap my head around how it’s possible to fall out of love with someone when nothing has changed in an happy, healthy relationship??
Sh*t Rory, this is so accurate. For me - and especially the Jordan Peterson part, but generally everything you say here - I learned so much from both you and him. (yes, I'm putting you right next to JP. Hey, it's my recovery alright, I decide who's valuable! )
The reason I played this is video is not because I'm lost anymore. But man was I for a long time. truely lost. But I pressed play because I couldn't wait to listen to what you were going to say about this topic. Simply because I knew I was going to hear so many things about how I used to feel, but do not anymore. And that feels sooooo good :-) Life is smiling at me once again. Im writing this for everyone who is lost.. You can, and will get out of it, IF you choose to. Trust Rory, trust time, trust yourself.
Rory, I applaud you, thank your for everything
Completely gone through this. I’ve been waiting for the perfect ambition to hit me for a new career...I spent years thinking and not doing, well - now I’ve been accepted into University in Sept!
The community here and at dg’s channel are the best❤️ so supportive and understand my feelings better then my closest friends and even myself. Thank you all and especially Rori for what you do! Couldn’t handle this tough times without you.
Yes!! I do that, reflect on journals to gauge where I am at from where I was. Moments of feeling lost, and moments of feeling free. I love these videos...🙌😇🙌
Yes, this is what I am feeling... still lost...
Thank you for your video. This year was hard, I quit my long time job, my girlfriend broke up with me, I started a degree. So many changes, I hope everything will turn out even better than before
You got this!
Very helpful. Thank you. I feel lost as I interview for a new job. My current job has been a disappointment and I suppose I wish I never came here, however, I didn’t have many options when I took this job and I needed to get my career started. My concern is the next place will evolve in a similar path. I leave here because it sucks and I leave there in a year or two for the same reason. Do I know what I want? I have an idea. Is it concrete and defined? Not exactly. I’ll go to this interview, do my best, move on from my current situation, and start a fresh chapter. Here we go!
I made a mistake. After my breakup of 2 years. About 6 months after. I found someone. And it interrupted my self improvement. I became attached. Not in love. But.... I liked her. A lot. And now shes gone too. And I'm just ... kinda here.
We all should be in like a grp together where we can talk and get load off our chest because the pain we’re feeling it’s unbelievable feels like killing inside that pressure and anxiety is the worst pain I’ve ever felt in 21 years of my life, it’s hard to act like strangers w someone you that you gonna marry one day
You have a relaxing voice , love your videos , it makes me stronger and more positive about myself and life in general. Thank you 😊
Thank you - i'm glad I can help!
😭 this is how I feel Rory and i will try this because I trust your words. I became a United states marine this year because i listened to the words you spoke of self improvement and that 1% better rule. Bit it seems as i have hit a wall and fallen again but I trust that this will help
Thanks Rory.. Your videos made me strong.. And finally at the 46th day of no contact.. She reached.. I am blessed... I am amazed... Thank you for the help... Now I am a better version of myself...
How did that work out?
Well it was tough at the start... But now everything is fine... We're just having some casual talk everyday.. But she is definitely more attracted to me now... Coz I really don't care if she is with me or not coz I am enjoying my life at its best💪
@@pratikmacwan3839 thats inspiring! Thanks for sharing and i am glad you are feeling strong!
@@pratikmacwan3839 good job mate!
I'm working hard, but still in a very emotional state... the ending of this honestly brought me to tears...
I apologize in advance for crying on our Skype meeting Monday.
NEVER apologize for feeling how you feel!
@@TheLoveChat I know... you're right... You always seem to be. I wish I'd found you before last month.
I needed this.Feeling so lost after my ex betrayed me😫😫struggling everyday
Love the work you do :). Not watching old videos any longer (moved on from needing them ) but still really enjoy the new ones :)
Thank you, Dale!
this!
I was like you 10 years with my ex she was 15 I think and I was 17 we were together 10 years then she cheated on me with 3 guys and i was totally lost still need to find my self slowly.
I am so sorry my brother, sending you nothing but the very best wishes 🙏
I really needed to hear this! This is definitely one of your best videos.
I'm glad it helped. You got this!
Could you do a video on, if you reunite with your ex, when and how to address feelings relating to the breakup and how it was done? Like if you don't want to get into the ugly stuff right away but it needs to be addressed.
Jordan Peterson's books and teaching videos are big deal, highly recommend. The ideas he provides put you on the right path
I tried listening to Jordan Peterson but I find myself drifting and not paying attention because for me, he goes off on all these tangents and analogies and frankly, I don't have the time. AND being back in grad school, I have enough abstract, critical thinking tasks that take so much of my day that I prefer the quick and dirty truth - and that's what Rory delivers here. We are ALL different, of course, and relate to others in our own way - and maybe you disagree - but just sharing my thought on JP. I prefer people getting to the point when it comes to the fundamental pearls of wisdom of how to live my best life, so I can spend the bulk of my time putting it into practice and living it, not just hearing someone weave some long story into something that Rory makes very simple! 😁
your videos have been helping me so much through the infidelity and heartbreak i have gone through during this quarantine, thank you rory ❤️🙏🏽
I'm very glad I can be of help to you!
One of the best messages. Thank you
Love this. Just what I needed to hear :)
So
GOOD!
You're the best Rory xx I'm off to play the piano, thanks
Goodness! Perfectly timed, almost uncanny...x
Just found your channel . Wish I found you when I wasn’t in a lot of pain , however very thankful for your content . You rock Rory :)
Welcome aboard!
Thank God for you and my dog. Your readings keep me where I should be and my dog keeps me going 4 5 times a day . We are in good shape. From walking it keeps my mind somewhat straight. I try to keep very busy. No one has ever dumped me before and never again. I am having a very hard time with this but you certain ly have gave me advice which I truly follow. I even do journaling. Thank you sssooò much. Take care hugsx
You're welcome! Pet your dog for me!
Okay the real problem isn’t getting your ex back, it’s getting back into shape. I just had the first run in months after soccer stopped and it was hard. I feel so good after it though
Wow! This really resonated with me....
I played Stairway to Heaven in another tab a couple minutes in and it fit so perfectly
He doesn't trust me. I lied him, but everybody says it was stupid thing to break up with me. I'm on week 2 on no contact. How can I show him, he can trust me?
Your videos tend to analyze very thing so detailed, I'm feeling lost too even after 4 months since breakup (3 months since no contact) she blocked me several times for no reasons, she hasn't reached out. I'm Ok but sometimes I think of her at night, hard to sleep.
Brilliant Rory ..beyond helpful
Happy to help :)
Probably a bit of a niche topic but could you consider making a video of the ‘dumper experience’ but when the person feels they did not want to break up but they had to. I’m in a weird position where I wanted things to work so badly and kept giving chances but he just could not follow through on promises of changing and kept letting fear, depression, emotional avoidance stop him from doing the work needed to improve. I wanted to be part of his journey and help but felt all my energy and effort was being put into making it work and I was continuously being told I had to ‘wait’ for the boyfriend I deserved. I had to finish things to protect my own energy but I feel now we’re both in a weird position of feeling like the ‘dumpee’. Bit of a weird one but would love to hear your thoughts.
I was with this girl for 4 years and we did everything together we lived together and were talking about a family and stuff we had a big fight an she got Physical and she has anger issues an she left says shes not happy and i never listen yes i was making some mistakes but i was working i know shes lost she hates her job shes hates what shes doing in life but i dont see why she left an is being so cold she packed up an left i miss her every day everything remineds me of her its been 2 weeks just lost yes im working on my self i came to light with my self but i miss an love her 😔💔
been a month of nc its been hard but getting thur it was going good having fun chilling working out then yesterday ball of emotion hit me sat there and cried then worked out. she really fucked me up thx rory
I don’t want to feel so crushing when I see her with someone else but I do, I’m tired of people saying to focus on myself because I don’t really care for anything anymore. I don’t have anything or anyone to look forward to, so that makes me think of her everyday, for no reason something tells me it’s coz she misses me it’s weird she’s in a new relationship now. I’m so quick to temper these days and have 0 patience with people maybe I have trust trauma or jus don’t believe I could care again.
Here's my situation. My ex didn't respect my boundaries and we couldn't come to a compromise. I ended the relationship and let her go. I broke her heart and my own heart too. We agreed that we'll work on ourselves as individuals and when time comes again we can try again. Deep down I hoped she'd change her mind after some time and we could come together. But she started seeing someone 3 weeks after the breakup. I think she's still not over but but using the new guy as a distraction. I'm still hurting by myself... I don't know if I could ever take her back because of how insecure she is. She needed to find someone new to fill the void. But I also miss her deeply and wish things didn't turn out the way it did. I just wished she fought for us a little more
this video hit home. thanks rory
The tinking and not doing is what ruined myy relationship, i got complacent and depressed, and lost her
Hi Rory,What about a video on accepting ourselves even if we dont like how we look?
Hey Rory, my ex reached out after a month! she said she missed me and a part of her wants to come back but still sounded unsure. We are meeting up to give back old stuff and idk what to do. Take care Rory :)
Go and have no expectations, but mostly (this sounds predictable) be yourself! Smile and respond don't react.😊 Everything will be fine!
Be yourself & hold your boundaries. You're doing great!
@@anewman1976 thank you so much, i really appreciate your response :)
@@megankris2419 I learnt this from The Boss!🤣
@Muzzy337 my brutha... 💯!!
Thank you for this video!
You are so welcome!
Good timing Rory, we had a phone session about a month ago my situation was a little more complicated, still NC with the Ex GF over a month now not going to lie its still tough but I'm working on me physically and picking up hobbies and the mental work is processing. Well the Divorce is almost done with the Ex wife part of my complicated reasons on my breakup with the Ex GF. But also building the relationship with my biological father who I recently found during all this and getting the finances straightened out. There is a lot of positives I am focusing on that has been happening to me, so yeah it's still tough cause it's still pretty fresh but i have that focus so if she reaches out for reconciliation or not I am truly becoming a better version of myself..Oh and I always make my bed..lol..even before the breakup..Thanks Rory
I get an unbearable throat discomfort when I constrict myself to do something I don't want to do out of discipline. It feels like I'm getting choked almost. And I want to cry and make strange instinctive strong body movements. How the hell can I get over this?
Love this channel
This channel loves you!
Thank you Rory. Needed this today.. wondering if you had any videos on losing someone twice. Having 2 years apart and then getting back together to be dumped again. We were stronger this time around so it hurts more this time.
Hey Rory, my ex broke up with me one month ago after a 1 year and 7 month relationship, saying she loves me but is in a point of her life, where she needs to be by herself. She will be moving eiter to the netherlands or to austria to study in october. We live in germany and are 20 years old. Is there any chance that she will come back and if yes, does it even make sense to reconcile with her, when she is moving anyways? I loved her a lot and we had a great relationship, and she told me several times, that I have been the best boyfriend possible and that I am very attractive and that stuff and that she is thankful for having had me in her life. The time is really anything but easy for me because I do not fully understand why she broke up, exept for us having different intressts and „growing apart“ as she said
So iam a month in the break up she was with someone eles with in 2 week so I listened to you I gave my self 2 weeks then I wrote a plan so I joined the gym a week ago I when there just for a 10min jog that's it and iv learning a new song on my new guitar my goal for today is to run for 11mins and play the guitar for 30mins to hour also room is tidy and clean and I started treating my self new colone this isn't the end of the world nore my life this is a chance to say ok what can I do for me as I put too much into her this time is for me and even if I meet someone eles I will not change gym and guitar with be the 2 things I will do for me no matter what
In the beginning every think is. So hard 😞😞😞
What if he never will talk to me again? I lost a friend and the love of my life. I don't feel like anyting gives me joy. It been over a year since, and I am stuck. What if he never loved me at all? Most days I just feel like I don't exist anymore, no one actualy talks to me and I am afraid of everyting and everyone now.
God bless you man, this video helped me ease my thoughts
Reminds me of a pretty obscure reference, Oliver Stone's 'Alexander'. Close to death, Alexander ponders on what is happiness, to quote "Happy? What is happy? When your mind and body are stretched to breaking, and you have no thought beyond the next, you look back then and there it was! Happiness. In the doing, never the thinking. end quote - I think that rings true to many of us dealing with a breakup.
Rory can you make a video about how to build your self esteem back again after a breakup?
You're the BEST!!!
I feel lost, my ex fiance left me a week ago after 12.7 years relationship. I don't even feel like what is the purpose of me chasing my purpose anymore. I know it temporary but still very painful. I started NC last Friday, but she kept on texting about how I am which i didn't not reply. But when she text about important information that we share i had no choice but to reply.
I try to find woman online and it seems like fantasy, woman that look as cute as my ex won't reply. Those women seems like they're better than they are when they're outside.
Topic: my ex unfollowed me on Instagram, hid all of my stories on other platforms. To put it in a simple way, she hid and put away Everything that has to do with me.
PS: as I walked by her the other day, she didn't look my way and kept looking the other way whilst having a pokerface.
Its been 1year since my ex broke up i was happy doing things i love i was whole again but as time pass it suddenly hit me again with sadness i dont know why ive been social uve been moving places but why still there are days i cant stop thinking about her
Thank you 🙏🏻
You’re welcome 😊
I feel more lost than a blind man in a fog
Videos r so helpful wen the spawn of Satan (ex) pops in n out ure life n he kinda puts me back to square one emotionally! Ty
Don't forget your holy water
Ill only say this to u. only this.
Thank u man..
When are you going live? I really like listening to your advices
Usually every wednesday!
Hey Rory, man she reached out and then she got cold. I reached out to her after 5 days but she was still a bit angry. And she blocked me on WhatsApp again. Please temme.. What should I do?
Shall I go for no contact again?
Man it feels like it's the first day of break up again😭😭.. I don't know what she wants. If she didn't wanna talk then why did she reached out?
Why did she unblocked me?
It’s really not easy.☺️
You the man
No, you!
Doing no contact after known someone long distance for few months. I can't help thinking if no contact won't have impact any impact due long distance and break up after few months.... Any suggestions
@Othman Youma I’m in the same situation at the moment I’m in the U.K. and he’s in Ohio USA we haven’t spoken in two weeks I really don’t think he gives a crap about the whole situation TBH it’s painful 😖😖😖. I pray you get closure 😊😊😊
Hey Rory this may sound like a ridiculous question to you but I would like your thoughts on whether you believe that Karma is real, or in other words what goes around comes around? I’ve listened to most of your videos and I know you have said we all have free will and there’s no magic force that determines our fate but do you believe that if you’ve made the mistake of treating people poorly in your life at some point you will have to eventually pay the price for it?
what do I do if we broke up but now shes not sure if she likes guys anymore she thinks she wants girls I'm currently in no contact for the last 2 and a half months the breakup was 3 months ago
Hey Rory! Thank you for all that you do! I have been in NC for about 3 weeks now. I have one concern. I know that it’s not recommended To reach out during NC, but I haven’t seen this specific topic covered. I know that my ex has a pending surgery coming up. I want to reach out and make sure that they’re okay after the surgery. Do you see anything wrong with that? Or should I remain in NC. For this case I would only send a brief message to ask if they’re doing okay and then leave it at that. Thoughts?
Honestly looking at it from the human element - that is totally fine. Just keep the topic about well-wishes!
The Love Chat awesome. Thank you! I appreciate your feedback and all that you’re doing!
hey rory. ex left about 3 months ago. she's messaged twice since asking to meet up and text again but i refused her offer. Romance or nothing. Silence from her for 3 weeks. i want to not want her but eh that's life. Life goes on and I am trying not to think of her.
Ask yourself, If you want her back then meet with her and slowly work things out. But if you want to move on then politely tell her that you want to move on. 👍
Jay Kay don’t work like that. If she wants me she’ll come simple as that. I ain’t initiating shit
@@wilko0488 you said she reached out twice and asked you to meet up but you refused... Anyway good luck bro
Jay Kay because she misses my counselling not my romance