@@lifeonthetablewithnoxolom719 I don't know what happened in ur marriage but wasn't it possible for you to hide ur husband's shame? Leaving ur marriage won't do them any good especially if they're gals,men won't be able to trust them due to having divorced parents(which is not a good example), how will they love their dad if they telling u to leave him.
@@AzaniaMohlala how do they think they're going to view men after this since their dad failed them? Unless there was abuse or their life was threatened hence I said Idk wat happened in her marriage. Divorce is not good.
@@Makgosi-gadi you were there witj human beings, who could look back and say how is/ are the kid(s)? It its this baby's birthday- happy birthday kid. No. I was there with inhuman and conscious evil ones. There's a real difference. Worse than the worst!
Staying for the sake of children will never be a good idea, because you will be raising broken children as you will be hurting as well stay if you are treated well, go if you are disrespected
My mom stayed because of us, but we became damaged kids/adults emotionally and spiritually. My siblings are still struggling. Staying in a marriage for the sake of the kids is a no-go area for me.
@@jackiesithole4185 I don't know what happened between ur parents but ur mom prolly should've hid ur dad's shame, so that u won't be exposed to their fights Nd stuff like that. But it's still a win coz when u go out there to date, it'll be easier for men to trust u bcoz ur parents marriage is still standing strong thus it's a good example that even in tough times, you can try to be patient. A failed marriage is not a broken marriage. Unlike when a gal comes from a broken home, how will a man trust her coz she has no example. I hope u don't hate ur dad. Ask him the reasons as to why things happened the way they happened. Ur mom can't be fully a saint. At least u'll get two sides of the story nd understand.
I love women who can tell this truth... sometimes we divorce because people will think we are too stupid to forgive or work through things, etc... but divorce is an end that isn't an end, especially when you have children... it's hard.
Unless she is the one at fault leading to their divorce. This cannot be true or something is not right with her or missing that man this one. What is normal about children who grew up in a toxic environment? What about you if you would stay in a horrible marriage because of children? Do you love yourself? Do you love and care for your children? Such women are 6 feet underground now, their husband living their lives and their children homeless mapara as their fathers chose their 2nd wives or girlfriends.
Its her story and conviction... why should she change her story to suit you. Why are you guys so triggered by her honesty....its seems like many are offended by her own truth. Divorce is not always good.
There are adults still dealing with trauma wounds caused by their parents toxic marriages, instead of ' staying for the sake of the children' it's better for mothers to 'leave for the sake of their children'.
I come from a married parents home and it's nothing to glorify. Aim to raise healthy (emotionally and physically) children rather than worrying about statistics and how you appear to others.
@@mokilisto Kids from divorced parents often to mostly turn out bad coz they dont have a good example. I dnt knw what happened to ur parents marriage but at least they stayed. Men won't be sceptical of you bcoz they'll know u have an example of not leaving when things are not good. I think in ur case,myb ur parents couldn't hide their fights or failures in front of u but if they did and made u think everything is perfect, u wouldn't be here saying that. Ur parents showed u that "A failed marriage is not a broken marriage." And I applaud them for that.
For the sake of the kids, I believe u should bcoz the kids are going to suffer anyways. Once u have kids, u need consider their mental health and wellbeing.
@@theemapsmash this is also not right as the kids need a mentally strong mom if you stay in the situation which diminishes you, undermine your intelligence and takes away your confidence you will not be the best version for your kids. It is damaging to kids seeing their mom cries almost everyday. But it's up to individuals. I would rather get out and heal for the sake of my children. God is able to give you peace and restore your life outside that useless man who does not value you.
Woman are raised to seek happiness, fulfilment in marriage and from their husbands. This is a recipe for heartbreak for no human can be prince charming and give you butterflies all the time. When one finds fulfillment in other meaningful ,moral and legal pursuits ,it's easier to bear an emotional unavailable partner. You'd be too busy to notice.😊
@@tamaramkula7913 A mother shouldn't cry in front of the kids, most moms don't... It'll make the kids hate the father which is now bad for the kids coz they'll grow up hating men. Unless it's abuse or ur life is threatened, divorce shouldn't be considered. A woman is not meant to provide or she'll develop masculine traits and kids won't be able to be taught femininity from their mom on top, they'll hate their dad as the mom is not protecting his shame. I know this sounds oppressive to women but it is for the sake of the kids future. A failed marriage is not a broken marriage. You can still live with ur hubby even thgh y'all don't like each other Fr the sake of kids, just pretend in front of the kids. What drives marriage is selflessness, deliberateness and commitment. If as a woman u want to leave ur marriage,leave the kids with their father coz matriarchy without patriarchy breeds chaos. Patriarchy alone can mold children into better kids more than a single mom can.
Divorce is like leaving Egypt, you keep looking back. My mum didn’t divorce and we grew up in a very violent and toxic environment, we all now are divorced from men who were more violent than my dad. Staying for the kids only teaches them to accept the unacceptable. Her advice is wrong
Since your mom was a 'saint' and your dad a 'monster', how come you and your sisters still selected men 'more violent' than your father?......😊😂 And on top of that, you're all divorced from them! But it's ONLY the men's fault. Accountability is a woman's kryptonite.
@@triciabrooks2520 can you please define abusive? With all due respect to the women, it takes two to tangle. Your mother would never have told you about what she did to your father. The children are naturally protective of their mothers while fathers are left to defend themselves and in some cases deliberately ostracised. Women are vindictive, use their children against their FATHER,and portray the father to be bad. Be careful jumping on the ‘my father was abusive” train. Fathers do the discipline while mothers do the gentle wink wink with the kids. Go figure. I love my mother but as I grew up and married with kids of my own and became a man, I got to understand why my father made some decisions. Father and mothers must take responsibilities.
@@Denny_Abraham well since you asked. Abuse mental, physical, verbal abuse from someone that presented himself as a different person until the day after the wedding. Someone who finally admits he was only pretending when he stood before the altar. Someone that did his very best to crush my spirit. There was no "quote" hiding his shame from my children. And it is also wrong for my children to see their mother treated with disrespect and cruelty. It is wrong for a family to have to walk around on egg shells because a grown man can't regulate his emotions. It hurts their emotional well-being too. I finally did leave after 28 years. And have been in counseling to heal from Complex-PTSD, anxiety, and a host of physical symptoms brought on by living under long term stress. And I was never my job to fix him, that is the Lord's work. But Jesus came to heal the broken hearted and those that have been crushed in spirit. And that is what he is doing in my life. And yes your right my mother and father were different. They had one of those beautiful blessed marriages that people dream about. No drama like what you describe. So I never had the concept of having to be a warrior in my own home. And I did not have the ability to even know how to deal with someone like my ex. But it only get worse with time until in the end I left home in terror. But you know what the same God that protected and provided for me when I did leave would have protected and provided for me and my children if I only had had the courage to trust him. I take responsibility for not trusting completely in my Lord earlier.
All woman. I mean all are involved in abusive relationship .. they always say they don't regret most often times woman live with regrets cause they know they left for other petty stuf than the reason they state as abusive. Dont get married gents to people who got emotional. Irrational hormones changes only a mother raised hopeless romantics gump will sign his life away to this gynocentric government and society. Don't be stoooooopid guys. Don't do it.
Am a better mum because I divorced. I was in pains and transfering anger to my child. Am sane and happier and am raising a happy child not a bitter child
I think she was the one causing problems in her Marriage ,I will never regret Divorcing someone who's Abusing me Social, Physical, Verbal , Emotional, because staying with those thing ,it like am killing my self ,my kids will be Orphan soon.
I separated from the father of my child to afford my son a mother who is alive, sane and healthy. I was not functional. I was not able to be a mother. I was no longer capable to look after my self let alone my son We were not living a happy life. I know the statistics, but don't stay and die and leave your kids to be orphans or have a depressed dysfunctional mother
@@MphoTlolane Why would the mother show her kids that she's hurting, a mother doesnt cry infront of kids, if she does that the kids will hate their father this in turn hate men in general. Imagine raising kids that hate men, daughters won't be able to date or respect men, sons will see no point of being a man. A woman builds her home. If her husband is failing her, she hides his failures and shame to his kids so that the kids can think their father is amazing bcoz if they don't they'll hate men. The pillars of marriage are selflessness, deliberateness and commitment. A woman has wipe her tears for the sake of their kids.
No marriage is perfect, you can't fix it by yourself, commit your marriage to the founder (God). would turn things around. everyone has faults in divorce.
@mirriamkobo1516 it also depends on how you define "toxic." You'd be amazed at silly things that people label "toxic" in marriage. My point is if your spouse is being toxic attempt other interventions and treat Divorce as last resort when all hope is lost.
Agreed but that is why discernment and being equally yoked is very important. I was married for almost 10 years and I wish I had the dicernment that I have now.
Discernment to not marry wrong? Very much agreed with you. The issue is not when you have already married most of the times but , not going into wrong marriages would have saved many of us so much trouble . May our children be guided by the Holy spirit
As someone that always wanted a traditional family and wanted my children to have their father around. I don’t regret my divorce at all. A toxic environment is not good for anyone. I waited till my youngest was 16 and I feel like because I waited the toxicity in the marriage and in my household became more toxic. If the marriage is creating a negative situation and toxicity in the household it is not, a good idea to stay in that situation.
The amount of comments from ppl who are pro divorce is shocking.. hence we have dysfunctional societies out there...there's nothing to glorify about a broken marriege.
It's absolutely shocking, and notice how it's all women. I'm beginning to wonder now, what type of men do our sisters like? They tend to say the same things about the guys they marry and have kids with, does the majority of them have a specific type of man that they are drawn to? Why is the cycle being continued? How do we stop it? I honestly believe that a lot of people need counseling to improve and heal different aspects of our lives. We need counseling as means of checking if we don't have any hidden traumas and things alike, we also need pre-marital counseling (counseling before marriage) to check if we're getting married for the right reasons, and with the right partner, we need pre-parental counseling (counseling before we have children) to check if we're in the best mental state to be parents. We're very broken as a community, we need to start doing better by taking action now, I honestly believe that this will save us from a lot of trouble in generations to come.
Your reason for the divorce matters a lot. If you divorced out of pettiness, then your own wahala but if you divorced an abuser then you n your children did the ryt thing so the reason matters a lot ok.
😂😂😂me too. Am almost calling that woman wicked she divorced and now free and she doesn't want others to divorce 😂😂😂 does she want women to die in marriage 😂
Did she say anything about her marriage being toxic and abusive?? All she said was she regret Divorce and that she would not advise anyone to Divorce. Now people are all worked-up. She most likely regrets it because she most likely to blame for the Divorce and now the streets are showing her flames.
She didn't love the brother. The brother was the one who was loving. Now she finds the hard way. Other reasons are that , the brother is happy were he is now. When a woman divorce, she is doing it to see you suffer. If you are not suffering, she will regret divorce.
@marymajozi4035 you're missing my point thou. My point is the fact that she regrets divorce. Yes, true. I expressed an opinion about who's to blame. But its okay we can stick to facts. Lets talk about facts. One thing is clearly - the fact that she regrets Divorce irrespective of who's to blame. The stress will show you flames sis especially when you have children thereby denying your children an opportunity to grow up in a house with their own father like she has said as well.
I thoughr staying in my abusive marriage, I was doing favour for my children but the truth is i was destroying them mentally, emotionally and spirituality. I regret i did not divorce him early.. staying in a toxic marriage is hell on earth.
@@kinnene married is WAY more normal than being in a single mother household. And it’s a helluva lot less dysfunctional too. Most prisoners come from single mother households.
Apart from any form of threat to life, divorce is not necessary! DIVORCE IS WORSE THAN DEATH! If there is no threat to life, there is nothing wrong in staying for the children!
We can never do suffer in the name of our kids they will grow up and have their own life for us is not to remain with them in a toxic environment that will destroy them for life , I don’t regret my decision ever
That statement nje haikhona! When you are not being treated the way you should be treated by your husband or wife the best is divorce that will save you from dying premature death, peace, respect and happiness is a must in marriage!/relationship if you are not getting those, you better know your worth and get out, imagine if you don't get out Phela you are going to live your whole life miserable.Hell to the No to what she's saying.
I love my children, I will do anything in the world for them. I will go to the end of the earth for them but the most precious thing they had you took it away from them...A father in a home.
My friend's husband verbally and emotionally abused her. It affected her and the children. She discovered the harm the toxic environment had on the children a few years later. It is better to step aside for a while to allow the offending partner to amend his or her ways. It also helps the victim to heal and make the right decisions A brokem relationship is better than having bitter and emotionally damaged children who will become abusers or the abused
@@humidg355 can you please define abusive? With all due respect to the women, it takes two to tangle. Your mother would never have told you about what she did to your father. The children are naturally protective of their mothers while fathers are left to defend themselves and in some cases deliberately ostracised. Women are vindictive, use their children against their children and portray the father to be bad. Be careful jumping on the ‘my father was abusive” train. Fathers do the discipline while mothers do the gentle wink wink with the kids. Go figure. I love my mother but as I grew up and married with kids of my own and became a man, I got to understand why my father made some decisions. Father and mothers must take responsibilities.
Going through the comments here I just realized that most women don't mind getting divorced, it's easier option to them rather than trying to fix the marriage.
Actually women divorce after having tried everything to save the marriage while husbands continue with dysfunction while refusing to go to therapy and transform.
Women are born nurturers and receivers, so they take in a lot and they speak more than they act. So to me if a woman decides to act…, then she must have spoken her mind out and continued to a point where she saw nothing wld change. Dnt get me wrong, there are also unhealed women who are problem givers, not receivers.
Some children will always make their mothers feel guilty whether you divorced or not. If you do, they ask you why you didn't stay for them to have a normal family and if you didn't, they will still ask why didn't you do instead of putting them in toxic family. So sometimes we need to know exactly what we want to do not what the children wish. What is best for everyone at that moment without having self blame.
No one gets married to divorce. We all want a happy ending as a family, but there are situations that forces people to divorce. And I don't think it's even proper to say that a normal family is a family of fathers, mothers and kids. Even kids who grow up in a divorced family have opportunities
A divorce is the dissolving of a marriage union between a wife and a husband. Children affected by divorced parents still have access to both parents if the parents choose to continue to be their parents. Divorce statistics are for the married couple who for whatever reason/s choose to separate themselves legally from each other. Living together as a "notmal" family doesn't mean it's part of a "%heslthy" normal family. What happens when the kids marry and you sit in a loveless, lonely and disrespectful home environment 😒 Many times this is how our children repeat what they have become accustomed to and repeat the toxic cycle of unhealthy marriage relationships
Staying in a horrible marriage will do more damage to the kids. If you are angry and he is angry, the kids will never know love and will grow up to be bitter adults that create more bitterness for themselves and people around them! The "normal" social standard family cannot be achieved by everyone. And that is Ohk. We need to give ourselves more grace and enjoy this gift of life.
I will never regret my devorce bcz if I stayed in that marriage ,I would be dead by now or loosed my sanity bcz of a selfish man , whom I ended up thinking that he never loved me from the very beginning,bcz there's no kind of abuse I didn't go thru in that 8 yrs of my so called marriage 😢
I think you are both lying, how can a sane person not pick up abusive behavior for all these years and choose to stay, you must have done something to trigger something that led to a divorce, what was your contribution that let to a divorce? Nothing right?
@@edwindakile4784Brother, go read about abuse, the psyche of the abuser and the psyche of the abused. What you’re doing is called victim-blaming and you’re arguing from ignorance because you know nothing about abuse. I’m telling you because I’m an expert in the topic. Research if you’re really interested to know.
thank you my sister for realising your mistake.. Remember Make peace with yourself and ask Go to forgive you. And remember the thief cometh to steal and to destroy and to kill but I come for them to have life and have it more abundantly.Thank you for realising the pain also you course your children.
Ng ng I don't believe in staying on marriage for kids. Sometimes in staying ur still affecting the kids negatively. We lost Osinachi to death because of that very reason. If it's wrong leave,my view
This lady is smart and 100,% right. You do things for your children's happiness at times. Parents must consider the feelings of their children because there's indeed a difference between a child who grows up in a broken home and a child who grows up in a family of both parents. Parents need each other to raise their children. Yes some marriages are toxic, but it's not wise to jump for divorce when things don't go well because there are professionals like marriage counselors one can consult before bailing out, for the sake of their marriage and children. It's not nice to have both parents and suddenly be left with a single parent, it takes a very long and a painful time to get used to that. I was part of that statistic, I know from personal experience. You feel the void left by the departed parent whilst you're living with the other parent. Some parents are selfish because this happens because of infidelity, it's not like they're in a toxic marriage but they make wrong and selfish decisions forgetting what the consequences will be to their children, they cheat and get divorced when their spouses discover that.
We don't divorce because we no longer even love our partners but because the situations are so toxic for ourselves and our children. It takes a lot to make the decision to leave It is after having done everything and all that is left is to leave if you still want to be alive and functional. It takes women a lot to finally get out. It is not easy raising children alone but against a toxic home it is better. People have killed themselves and their spouses and even the children because they could not handle separation or divorce. Much love Be kind to yourself Yes u doing better than you think
Out-loving someone means always striving to love your husband / wife more than he/she loves you. If you had out-loved him, you would not be in this sad regretful situation. Thank you for telling the truth.
Staying in a toxic relationship for any relationship especially if abuse of any kind and cheating is involved is not being a good parent. Unselfish Kids do not want their parents to be under the same roof unhappy. We need to unlearn this behavior.
It's not too late my beloved sister, if you husband is still alive please go back and he will accept you back okay! What that lead to divorce which is unforgiven, you can forgive now and God will forgive both of you..
There things that cannot be easily reversed or undone. Perhaps she left without a strategic plan on how to cope with it but surely its not healthy to keep moving in circles.
Well she obviously divorced for a reason. Truth be known if there was hurt mention, bitterness, shouting, abuse discourse in the marriage, Trust abd believe her children would NEVER experience a normal family.A "normal family is healthy, full of love respect and teaching your children how to behave react & to love & be loved ..Sister Lady you absolutely did the right thing ❤❤❤❤❤
I really don't regret it one bit because I believe children also need to grow up in a healthy environment, there is no way you can Parent well if you are depressed on a daily basis.i wouldn't even feel bad for my children to in that static.I will not advice anyone to divorce their spouse but if must save yourself than go ahead and save yourself as you will also save your children from growing in a toxic environmenenvironment
No body like divorce, but things happen you can't stay with the parson if your not happy my dear, don't worry about it. You can go back to him if you want!!!!
Why would anybody want to stick in a dysfunctional marriage ??? Whats normal about subjecting children to a toxic environment??? My own children told me to leave because of the abuse . . .
People who have not experienced what you say, those who have never wore your shoes, will not understand what you say and they will criticize you for what you say. However, whatever you say is true and I applaud you for saying your truth.
If you admit you regret divorcing ,then it means you feel empty and still missing the beasts you escaped.I think we should learn to love ourselves and teach our children the same.Marriage is not for everyone,and many have died trying to protect the family image.
My kids said to me "mama don't do it for us" it's time for you to pack your bags and leave "we will be fine without him... I'm glad I listened, I think I really needed assurance from them... It's been 4 years now.. We have a very good relationship now since we separated, hes always there for us,...
They're always the 'saints'. Accountability will remain women's kryptonite because they're mostly delusional and 'right' all the time. They're loyal only to their feelings and not to their husbands sacrifice. No matter what you do for them as a man, it's never enough.
A divorced mother ends up living a bitter life, hating men and and is likely to start a generation of females who will divorce their husbands in the future. However, this mother may be an exception.
I respect your position my dear sister, its true i cannot be celebrated. There us no easy marriage, the fact that both husbands n wives have own independent minds & feelings tgey will from time to time share different views, argue but find a way to keep the fire 🔥 burning in marriage. Divorce is bad n terrible its satanic. Tolerance tolerance tolerance ❤❤❤❤❤
😢enough said.it hurts me seeing many people, especially immigrants here in the UK,so happy to go for a divorce,out of peer influence.in the flip side,they live with regrets.thanks for your wise words.❤
I too will never ever advise divorce....am divorced man and everyday i pick up and drop off my daughtee at her mom house after school,i see how she struggle to step out of car for a shift with her mom! God says He hate divorce.
I DO NOT regret divorcing my ex. I DO NOT love him anymore. I LEFT HIM because I needed to protect my children from a toxic environment. Today, I Love and recognise Jesus as their Dad, healthy, well fed, well taken care of, well mannered, all to the glory of God Almighty. I DO NOT GIVE 2chains about statistics! Homeboy nearly ended my life 😢
No man. If something doesn't work out then let it go.. you did not deny your kids a normal live as you say... you proved to them that you are strong enough to leave a toxic marriage and not stay for the "sake" of kids...
I feel for this woman but I have tons of respect for her courage. She is a plain honest person with an outstanding sound sense of judgement. Only God knows what really happened in that marriage but we men could really be naughty at times, and the unfortunate thing is that women are always on the receiving end on either side of the final decision. May God strengthen you my lady.
This is ok if the person is or was not abusive. For me it was the best decision ever, and i have no regrets. Do i wish my kids had a 2 parent household? Oh yes! But the environment had become so bad that years after leaving, I'm still recovering . not all situations are the same. If you can work things out, please do so for the sake of the kids as well. But this may not be the ideal soution with an abusive or narcissistic partner. At times leaving can be a matter of life and death. I chose to live.
I too was denied children rights the moment i wanted a family. Currently i feel i must marry a woman that we'll share all things not a selfish woman. Imagine living with a child with your name in her birth certificate recently she turned 13 i feel i was deprived off my rights though I'm alive i wish i had a job in diasporra and start up a family even though it'll be late to me but right from my heart I'll be a happy man
I don’t regret divorcing the abusive and narcissistic man I was married to. I left him because of my children. I was afraid of raising my children in a toxic environment, I was afraid that they too will grow up and become abusive to their wives. I left for my own safety as well, I would have been killed. I don’t know what this lady is talking about So many women in abusive relationships are stocked there because they don’t have the courage to leave. I feel sorry to the ones hanging in there because of “my children”. So sad we’ve lost quite a few lately
It is so painful to grow up witnessing parental differences and fights as a child,the memories haunt you forever ,as an adult at 40 i overeact to man that bash their women in the same manner i struggled to stop my own father bashing my mother...IT IS SO UNHEALTHY IN EVERYWAY,i struggle now to bring up my family in a manner opposite my parent's behaviour back then...to everybody who went through this trauma may you find strength to forgive forget heal and be an ambassador of change...it cuts too deep
People must remember that, not all marriage are toxic. It happens that the married are no longer in a romantic relationship but still adore their children and care about their wellbeing and want to provide a stable, normal home for them. I think its important to think about what is best for the children than what is best for yourself.
There's never ever an excuse for a man or woman to stay in an abusive relationship. Especially relationships with children that have had to witness their mother or father being physically or mentally abused.
The best decisions my parents ever made was to divorce, was it hard on me as a kid? Absolutely, was it worth it for the both of them and their mental health? Yes, it was. Now they are good friends. Not every married couples should have gotten married, some people go into marriage for circumstianal reasons. A kid is better off healthy with one parent than two unhappy parents who are constantly fighting. One of the things I made sure my parents do with us before divorcing was to talk us through it and to make us to understand that them divorcing was not our fault, two adults should not be passing on their wounds to fragile children.
The Lord be with you for this advice. All everyone says this day is, "if you don't find happiness, divorce". Divorce is the most foolish senseless thing a person might do
A toxic home is a no go zone for me 😢 considering what i experienced through my mum i better raise my kids without a father than letting them see the hell of the so called marriage
You can't sacrifice yourself and your children to avoid the divorce statistics .if it was a normal family you wouldn't think of divorce. I divorced my ex husband after 23 years together ,17years of marriage to protect my children and for my peace of mind.Staying in a toxic relationship is not a solution.Dont let children carry your burdens in a toxic marriage,you can hide it but they can feel everything you are going through and that's what leads to trauma
Some plp were in toxic relationships. I don't think there can be anyone that can tell a person to divorce. They back you when you have already taken that decision. Plp could have been dead if they hadn't divorced. People are in toxic marriages.. Those of you guys,in toxic marriages, divorce please
I think the lesson here is that we need to help our children to choose wisely...People who were raised in broken families sometimes bring broken hearts in their romantic relationships....they are ready to live the moment they set their feed in the marriages...... Divorce is painful....I have been there....I know it!!!
Getting married to a woman is already a burden and a double burden when she starts being disrespectful. If a woman wants a divorce, let her go immediately. It helps men in the long run. Most women thinking they would meet someone better end up getting someone worse. Women stay with your husbands
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Hello my beautiful Nubian Goddess 🌹
Truth be told my sister, I salute you.
My kids told me I should have left a long time ago instead of exposing them to a home of toxicity
@@lifeonthetablewithnoxolom719 I don't know what happened in ur marriage but wasn't it possible for you to hide ur husband's shame?
Leaving ur marriage won't do them any good especially if they're gals,men won't be able to trust them due to having divorced parents(which is not a good example), how will they love their dad if they telling u to leave him.
@@theemapsmashwhat a load of bull.
Agree 💯staying and kids experiencing the toxic environment messes them up MORE , than seeing you happy and healthy alone
@@theemapsmash you are crazy for real are you even listening to yourself 😮
@@AzaniaMohlala how do they think they're going to view men after this since their dad failed them?
Unless there was abuse or their life was threatened hence I said Idk wat happened in her marriage.
Divorce is not good.
Divorce is never a good thing, but dying with a bitter heart for someone else's happiness is worse. 😮
I wish I could like this comment a million times. You hit the nail on the head.
Over agree!
They always say they value their happiness but once they get it regret it
Divorce is not easy...not at all. I have been there
@@Makgosi-gadi you were there witj human beings, who could look back and say how is/ are the kid(s)? It its this baby's birthday- happy birthday kid. No. I was there with inhuman and conscious evil ones. There's a real difference. Worse than the worst!
Staying for the sake of children will never be a good idea, because you will be raising broken children as you will be hurting as well stay if you are treated well, go if you are disrespected
True
So true . I literally know kids that are dealing with dépression because their parents decided to stay in a toxic marriage
I totally agree. Staying wld be a abnormal family just the same. The home is already broken.
My mom stayed because of us, but we became damaged kids/adults emotionally and spiritually. My siblings are still struggling. Staying in a marriage for the sake of the kids is a no-go area for me.
@@jackiesithole4185 I don't know what happened between ur parents but ur mom prolly should've hid ur dad's shame, so that u won't be exposed to their fights Nd stuff like that. But it's still a win coz when u go out there to date, it'll be easier for men to trust u bcoz ur parents marriage is still standing strong thus it's a good example that even in tough times, you can try to be patient. A failed marriage is not a broken marriage.
Unlike when a gal comes from a broken home, how will a man trust her coz she has no example. I hope u don't hate ur dad. Ask him the reasons as to why things happened the way they happened. Ur mom can't be fully a saint. At least u'll get two sides of the story nd understand.
That is the most truthful thing. Divorce destroys people. People act happy but damn you feel the loss
You have to feel it. Coz you lose almost everything you ever worked for. For one to build again, it's no child's play.
It does but raising children in toxic homes destroys kids to the core.
Leather divorce than drugging kids into boiling water
I love women who can tell this truth... sometimes we divorce because people will think we are too stupid to forgive or work through things, etc... but divorce is an end that isn't an end, especially when you have children... it's hard.
Unless she is the one at fault leading to their divorce. This cannot be true or something is not right with her or missing that man this one. What is normal about children who grew up in a toxic environment? What about you if you would stay in a horrible marriage because of children? Do you love yourself? Do you love and care for your children? Such women are 6 feet underground now, their husband living their lives and their children homeless mapara as their fathers chose their 2nd wives or girlfriends.
Its her story and conviction... why should she change her story to suit you. Why are you guys so triggered by her honesty....its seems like many are offended by her own truth. Divorce is not always good.
A big AMEN. Thank you for this comment. People advocate for divorce as if it's the only solution. C'mon guys..
@@victorvukeya9091 The internet is filled with childish people who have very little actual life experience.
Well said
100%
Absolutely truth ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
There are adults still dealing with trauma wounds caused by their parents toxic marriages, instead of ' staying for the sake of the children' it's better for mothers to 'leave for the sake of their children'.
Exactly 💯
it's also a good thing for booth parents put the happiness of their children first.
Amen to that
So you think "only men spoil" marriages and relationships??? I feel sorry for you.
True
I come from a married parents home and it's nothing to glorify. Aim to raise healthy (emotionally and physically) children rather than worrying about statistics and how you appear to others.
you can say that again
💯
@@mokilisto Kids from divorced parents often to mostly turn out bad coz they dont have a good example. I dnt knw what happened to ur parents marriage but at least they stayed. Men won't be sceptical of you bcoz they'll know u have an example of not leaving when things are not good. I think in ur case,myb ur parents couldn't hide their fights or failures in front of u but if they did and made u think everything is perfect, u wouldn't be here saying that. Ur parents showed u that "A failed marriage is not a broken marriage." And I applaud them for that.
@theemapsmash seems like you live for men's approval, almost equal to being a slave
@@theemapsmashYou lying
This is a difficult one. Some situations are unbearable. You can't stay with someone who emotionally unavailable. That's the worst torture.
For the sake of the kids, I believe u should bcoz the kids are going to suffer anyways. Once u have kids, u need consider their mental health and wellbeing.
@@theemapsmash this is also not right as the kids need a mentally strong mom if you stay in the situation which diminishes you, undermine your intelligence and takes away your confidence you will not be the best version for your kids. It is damaging to kids seeing their mom cries almost everyday. But it's up to individuals. I would rather get out and heal for the sake of my children. God is able to give you peace and restore your life outside that useless man who does not value you.
I absolutely agree
Woman are raised to seek happiness, fulfilment in marriage and from their husbands. This is a recipe for heartbreak for no human can be prince charming and give you butterflies all the time.
When one finds fulfillment in other meaningful ,moral and legal pursuits ,it's easier to bear an emotional unavailable partner. You'd be too busy to notice.😊
@@tamaramkula7913 A mother shouldn't cry in front of the kids, most moms don't... It'll make the kids hate the father which is now bad for the kids coz they'll grow up hating men. Unless it's abuse or ur life is threatened, divorce shouldn't be considered. A woman is not meant to provide or she'll develop masculine traits and kids won't be able to be taught femininity from their mom on top, they'll hate their dad as the mom is not protecting his shame.
I know this sounds oppressive to women but it is for the sake of the kids future. A failed marriage is not a broken marriage. You can still live with ur hubby even thgh y'all don't like each other Fr the sake of kids, just pretend in front of the kids.
What drives marriage is selflessness, deliberateness and commitment. If as a woman u want to leave ur marriage,leave the kids with their father coz matriarchy without patriarchy breeds chaos. Patriarchy alone can mold children into better kids more than a single mom can.
Divorce is like leaving Egypt, you keep looking back. My mum didn’t divorce and we grew up in a very violent and toxic environment, we all now are divorced from men who were more violent than my dad.
Staying for the kids only teaches them to accept the unacceptable.
Her advice is wrong
She did not mention that she was in your type of family. Chill
Never one time did she accuse him of anything! She obviously chose her happiness over the family.
Since your mom was a 'saint' and your dad a 'monster', how come you and your sisters still selected men 'more violent' than your father?......😊😂
And on top of that, you're all divorced from them! But it's ONLY the men's fault.
Accountability is a woman's kryptonite.
How is it wrong when you have the opposite experience and same outcome???
Maybe your advice is wrong. Why should you be right.
I don't regret divorcing my abusive husband. And I am grateful God is healing me. I would never advise anyone to stay in an unhealthy marriage.
@@triciabrooks2520 can you please define abusive? With all due respect to the women, it takes two to tangle. Your mother would never have told you about what she did to your father. The children are naturally protective of their mothers while fathers are left to defend themselves and in some cases deliberately ostracised. Women are vindictive, use their children against their FATHER,and portray the father to be bad. Be careful jumping on the ‘my father was abusive” train. Fathers do the discipline while mothers do the gentle wink wink with the kids. Go figure. I love my mother but as I grew up and married with kids of my own and became a man, I got to understand why my father made some decisions.
Father and mothers must take responsibilities.
@@Denny_Abraham well since you asked. Abuse mental, physical, verbal abuse from someone that presented himself as a different person until the day after the wedding. Someone who finally admits he was only pretending when he stood before the altar. Someone that did his very best to crush my spirit. There was no "quote" hiding his shame from my children. And it is also wrong for my children to see their mother treated with disrespect and cruelty. It is wrong for a family to have to walk around on egg shells because a grown man can't regulate his emotions. It hurts their emotional well-being too. I finally did leave after 28 years. And have been in counseling to heal from Complex-PTSD, anxiety, and a host of physical symptoms brought on by living under long term stress. And I was never my job to fix him, that is the Lord's work. But Jesus came to heal the broken hearted and those that have been crushed in spirit. And that is what he is doing in my life. And yes your right my mother and father were different. They had one of those beautiful blessed marriages that people dream about. No drama like what you describe. So I never had the concept of having to be a warrior in my own home. And I did not have the ability to even know how to deal with someone like my ex. But it only get worse with time until in the end I left home in terror.
But you know what the same God that protected and provided for me when I did leave would have protected and provided for me and my children if I only had had the courage to trust him.
I take responsibility for not trusting completely in my Lord earlier.
All woman. I mean all are involved in abusive relationship .. they always say they don't regret most often times woman live with regrets cause they know they left for other petty stuf than the reason they state as abusive. Dont get married gents to people who got emotional. Irrational hormones changes only a mother raised hopeless romantics gump will sign his life away to this gynocentric government and society. Don't be stoooooopid guys. Don't do it.
Amen
Am a better mum because I divorced. I was in pains and transfering anger to my child. Am sane and happier and am raising a happy child not a bitter child
It's a lie. Never met a happy woman 👩.😅😅😅😅. It's an oxymoron. No such thing. It's cap
Why don’t I believe you???
Children would rather be from a broken home than live in a broken home. It's toxic and very damaging to the kids
And society
That is a lie people use to cope.
@@alphabogeyman7462 Nonsense
Toxic relationships can cause depression. .. which is equivalent to insanity.
😂😂😂😂😂
I don’t regret divorcing my husband. He was a narcissist
Best thing you did for yourself and your children if you have any.
I disagree.
Staying in a toxic family circle is worse to children
And got another now?
Said the real narcissist..😂🤣😅
Me too and for the sake of raising happy children i feel blessed and happy everyday of my life
I think she was the one causing problems in her Marriage ,I will never regret Divorcing someone who's Abusing me Social, Physical, Verbal , Emotional, because staying with those thing ,it like am killing my self ,my kids will be Orphan soon.
Did you watch the full video?
😂😂😂😂You could be right about her when saying hence it was her
Over agree! I sende guilt in her confession.
@@nnennanwoke1598 mmmmhhh it's guilt 😂
😂😅😂😅😂😅😂
It is true
When a woman regrets , you must know that she regret things she did that led to divorce
I separated from the father of my child to afford my son a mother who is alive, sane and healthy.
I was not functional. I was not able to be a mother.
I was no longer capable to look after my self let alone my son
We were not living a happy life.
I know the statistics, but don't stay and die and leave your kids to be orphans or have a depressed dysfunctional mother
Pray about it strongly. If that is the person you have to be with, God will make a way and make it healthy. Lesson learnt.
Its her story...dont try and convince her otherwise...
Statistics my foot
Which husband?Somizi
What did the man actually do?
I don't regret leaving my ex, I come first before anyone.
How I wish my sister had divorced her abusive husband, she would have still be alive today!
It still hurts children when they see their mother hurting.
@@MphoTlolane Why would the mother show her kids that she's hurting, a mother doesnt cry infront of kids, if she does that the kids will hate their father this in turn hate men in general. Imagine raising kids that hate men, daughters won't be able to date or respect men, sons will see no point of being a man. A woman builds her home. If her husband is failing her, she hides his failures and shame to his kids so that the kids can think their father is amazing bcoz if they don't they'll hate men. The pillars of marriage are selflessness, deliberateness and commitment. A woman has wipe her tears for the sake of their kids.
No marriage is perfect, you can't fix it by yourself, commit your marriage to the founder (God). would turn things around. everyone has faults in divorce.
So its woman only who get hurt in divorce? They initiate 80 %of this divorce
I would advise anyone who is in a toxic relationship to go through divorce. But not because of silly things like feelings.
Same! Feelings/we grew apart- nope!!
Toxic and abusive relationships- get out of there!
True it doesn't make.sense to advise people in toxic marriages to stay
@mirriamkobo1516 it also depends on how you define "toxic." You'd be amazed at silly things that people label "toxic" in marriage.
My point is if your spouse is being toxic attempt other interventions and treat Divorce as last resort when all hope is lost.
Toxic is the new meaning of you are not behaving the way I want,
It's always about feelings to this gender. Abuse is over used here.
It's a personal choice to stay or to leave. Some stay for the kids, and some leave for the kids, so it's truly a personal choice.
And the streets receive you well.
Not ALL marriages are ordained by God.
God has nothing to do with marriage, its a human system.
No God in .marriage. what u talking about
Agreed but that is why discernment and being equally yoked is very important. I was married for almost 10 years and I wish I had the dicernment that I have now.
Discernment to not marry wrong?
Very much agreed with you. The issue is not when you have already married most of the times but , not going into wrong marriages would have saved many of us so much trouble . May our children be guided by the Holy spirit
@@Chidlhealt amen!!🙏🏾
As someone that always wanted a traditional family and wanted my children to have their father around. I don’t regret my divorce at all. A toxic environment is not good for anyone. I waited till my youngest was 16 and I feel like because I waited the toxicity in the marriage and in my household became more toxic. If the marriage is creating a negative situation and toxicity in the household it is not, a good idea to stay in that situation.
Agreed ❤
The amount of comments from ppl who are pro divorce is shocking.. hence we have dysfunctional societies out there...there's nothing to glorify about a broken marriege.
It's absolutely shocking, and notice how it's all women. I'm beginning to wonder now, what type of men do our sisters like? They tend to say the same things about the guys they marry and have kids with, does the majority of them have a specific type of man that they are drawn to? Why is the cycle being continued? How do we stop it?
I honestly believe that a lot of people need counseling to improve and heal different aspects of our lives. We need counseling as means of checking if we don't have any hidden traumas and things alike, we also need pre-marital counseling (counseling before marriage) to check if we're getting married for the right reasons, and with the right partner, we need pre-parental counseling (counseling before we have children) to check if we're in the best mental state to be parents. We're very broken as a community, we need to start doing better by taking action now, I honestly believe that this will save us from a lot of trouble in generations to come.
@@SiyandaCarlAmen.
Stop blaming women stupid men are not raised well. Period@@SiyandaCarl
@@SiyandaCarlit'll not stop because women of today are not like our grandmother's.
@@karlmax6031 Very true, an unfortunate thing indeed.
Your reason for the divorce matters a lot. If you divorced out of pettiness, then your own wahala but if you divorced an abuser then you n your children did the ryt thing so the reason matters a lot ok.
Maybe the husband is a good father
Now she's back in these tough Streets
@@mpumelelozungu3093 But not a good husband. Many men see women as breeder of children for them. Those type of men can't be a huband
Divorcing someone who doesnt appreciate my presence was the smartest thing i ever done for myself....
Same here
So if he's a good father to his own children but is not a good husband to his wife doesn't deserve divorce is what you mean?
😂😂😂me too. Am almost calling that woman wicked she divorced and now free and she doesn't want others to divorce 😂😂😂 does she want women to die in marriage 😂
@@esthershine2486 she's losing her mind🤣
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂@@simcelilethikazi6157she doesn't want to wish good things for others.
Did she say anything about her marriage being toxic and abusive?? All she said was she regret Divorce and that she would not advise anyone to Divorce. Now people are all worked-up.
She most likely regrets it because she most likely to blame for the Divorce and now the streets are showing her flames.
She didn't love the brother. The brother was the one who was loving. Now she finds the hard way.
Other reasons are that , the brother is happy were he is now. When a woman divorce, she is doing it to see you suffer. If you are not suffering, she will regret divorce.
Did she say anything about her being the one to blame for the divorce. People are just expressing their opinions like you did.
@marymajozi4035 you're missing my point thou. My point is the fact that she regrets divorce.
Yes, true. I expressed an opinion about who's to blame. But its okay we can stick to facts. Lets talk about facts. One thing is clearly - the fact that she regrets Divorce irrespective of who's to blame. The stress will show you flames sis especially when you have children thereby denying your children an opportunity to grow up in a house with their own father like she has said as well.
I thoughr staying in my abusive marriage, I was doing favour for my children but the truth is i was destroying them mentally, emotionally and spirituality. I regret i did not divorce him early.. staying in a toxic marriage is hell on earth.
Pls children growing up in a two parent household with parents married doesn't not alway equate a normal family 😂
What? Lol…of course it does.
Hey actually growing up in a two parent household with parents married it is a normal thing for it comes with creation of God.
Can be married but very dysfunctional. Married doesn't always equate to normal.
@@kinnene exactly what I'm saying
@@kinnene married is WAY more normal than being in a single mother household. And it’s a helluva lot less dysfunctional too. Most prisoners come from single mother households.
Apart from any form of threat to life, divorce is not necessary! DIVORCE IS WORSE THAN DEATH! If there is no threat to life, there is nothing wrong in staying for the children!
Better divorce than found yourself in the grave. He found himself in 25years in Prison.
We can never do suffer in the name of our kids they will grow up and have their own life for us is not to remain with them in a toxic environment that will destroy them for life , I don’t regret my decision ever
Her thinking is not make sure 😂😂😂😂😂
I think there’s more to what she is regretting than what she is accepting it really is. Especially if you took time to listen to the whole episode.
That statement nje haikhona! When you are not being treated the way you should be treated by your husband or wife the best is divorce that will save you from dying premature death, peace, respect and happiness is a must in marriage!/relationship if you are not getting those, you better know your worth and get out, imagine if you don't get out Phela you are going to live your whole life miserable.Hell to the No to what she's saying.
Okare onyaka somizi
True dat😂😂😂
Yooo I agree😂
I love my children, I will do anything in the world for them. I will go to the end of the earth for them but the most precious thing they had you took it away from them...A father in a home.
SHE DID THAT MAN A FAVOR . GOOD FOR HIM..!
My friend's husband verbally and emotionally abused her. It affected her and the children. She discovered the harm the toxic environment had on the children a few years later.
It is better to step aside for a while to allow the offending partner to amend his or her ways. It also helps the victim to heal and make the right decisions
A brokem relationship is better than having bitter and emotionally damaged children who will become abusers or the abused
@@humidg355 can you please define abusive? With all due respect to the women, it takes two to tangle. Your mother would never have told you about what she did to your father. The children are naturally protective of their mothers while fathers are left to defend themselves and in some cases deliberately ostracised. Women are vindictive, use their children against their children and portray the father to be bad. Be careful jumping on the ‘my father was abusive” train. Fathers do the discipline while mothers do the gentle wink wink with the kids. Go figure. I love my mother but as I grew up and married with kids of my own and became a man, I got to understand why my father made some decisions.
Father and mothers must take responsibilities.
Going through the comments here I just realized that most women don't mind getting divorced, it's easier option to them rather than trying to fix the marriage.
Actually women divorce after having tried everything to save the marriage while husbands continue with dysfunction while refusing to go to therapy and transform.
Women are born nurturers and receivers, so they take in a lot and they speak more than they act. So to me if a woman decides to act…, then she must have spoken her mind out and continued to a point where she saw nothing wld change. Dnt get me wrong, there are also unhealed women who are problem givers, not receivers.
She has done something to her husband 😅i think he was a good guy 😅
Now she play the victim 😂
@lebohangmokotjo1662 ..they always victims. No victims here all volunteered
@lebohangmokotjo1662 ..they always victims. No victims here all volunteered
@lebohangmokotjo1662 ..they always victims. No victims here all volunteered
@lebohangmokotjo1662 ..they always victims. No victims here all volunteered
Some children will always make their mothers feel guilty whether you divorced or not. If you do, they ask you why you didn't stay for them to have a normal family and if you didn't, they will still ask why didn't you do instead of putting them in toxic family. So sometimes we need to know exactly what we want to do not what the children wish. What is best for everyone at that moment without having self blame.
Absolutely 💯
No one gets married to divorce. We all want a happy ending as a family, but there are situations that forces people to divorce. And I don't think it's even proper to say that a normal family is a family of fathers, mothers and kids. Even kids who grow up in a divorced family have opportunities
A divorce is the dissolving of a marriage union between a wife and a husband. Children affected by divorced parents still have access to both parents if the parents choose to continue to be their parents. Divorce statistics are for the married couple who for whatever reason/s choose to separate themselves legally from each other. Living together as a "notmal" family doesn't mean it's part of a "%heslthy" normal family. What happens when the kids marry and you sit in a loveless, lonely and disrespectful home environment 😒 Many times this is how our children repeat what they have become accustomed to and repeat the toxic cycle of unhealthy marriage relationships
Staying in a horrible marriage will do more damage to the kids. If you are angry and he is angry, the kids will never know love and will grow up to be bitter adults that create more bitterness for themselves and people around them! The "normal" social standard family cannot be achieved by everyone. And that is Ohk. We need to give ourselves more grace and enjoy this gift of life.
Is your children better for it,or they have watched you sleeping with your new boyfriend, and they become wayward.
I will never regret my devorce bcz if I stayed in that marriage ,I would be dead by now or loosed my sanity bcz of a selfish man , whom I ended up thinking that he never loved me from the very beginning,bcz there's no kind of abuse I didn't go thru in that 8 yrs of my so called marriage 😢
my dear mine.was 7 years if I didn't leave I could have end dead...I don't regret it one bit
@@bunikiehange4619 I get you sisters.
I think you are both lying, how can a sane person not pick up abusive behavior for all these years and choose to stay, you must have done something to trigger something that led to a divorce, what was your contribution that let to a divorce? Nothing right?
@@edwindakile4784Brother, go read about abuse, the psyche of the abuser and the psyche of the abused. What you’re doing is called victim-blaming and you’re arguing from ignorance because you know nothing about abuse. I’m telling you because I’m an expert in the topic. Research if you’re really interested to know.
@@happilydivorced3235 are you divorced? Were you abused? Who happened to choose the abuser?
thank you my sister for realising your mistake.. Remember Make peace with yourself and ask Go to forgive you. And remember the thief cometh to steal and to destroy and to kill but I come for them to have life and have it more abundantly.Thank you for realising the pain also you course your children.
Ng ng I don't believe in staying on marriage for kids. Sometimes in staying ur still affecting the kids negatively. We lost Osinachi to death because of that very reason. If it's wrong leave,my view
SHE NEEDED TO SAY UNLESS THERE IS ABUSE BECAUSE IF A MAN IS BEATING A WOMAN NO WAY YOU CAN TELL HER TO STAY
This lady is smart and 100,% right. You do things for your children's happiness at times. Parents must consider the feelings of their children because there's indeed a difference between a child who grows up in a broken home and a child who grows up in a family of both parents. Parents need each other to raise their children. Yes some marriages are toxic, but it's not wise to jump for divorce when things don't go well because there are professionals like marriage counselors one can consult before bailing out, for the sake of their marriage and children. It's not nice to have both parents and suddenly be left with a single parent, it takes a very long and a painful time to get used to that. I was part of that statistic, I know from personal experience. You feel the void left by the departed parent whilst you're living with the other parent. Some parents are selfish because this happens because of infidelity, it's not like they're in a toxic marriage but they make wrong and selfish decisions forgetting what the consequences will be to their children, they cheat and get divorced when their spouses discover that.
We don't divorce because we no longer even love our partners but because the situations are so toxic for ourselves and our children.
It takes a lot to make the decision to leave
It is after having done everything and all that is left is to leave if you still want to be alive and functional.
It takes women a lot to finally get out.
It is not easy raising children alone but against a toxic home it is better.
People have killed themselves and their spouses and even the children because they could not handle separation or divorce.
Much love
Be kind to yourself
Yes u doing better than you think
Out-loving someone means always striving to love your husband / wife more than he/she loves you. If you had out-loved him, you would not be in this sad regretful situation.
Thank you for telling the truth.
Staying in a toxic relationship for any relationship especially if abuse of any kind and cheating is involved is not being a good parent. Unselfish Kids do not want their parents to be under the same roof unhappy. We need to unlearn this behavior.
Divorce should be the last resort. There's a lot of pain in many of those who have passed through it😢
It's not too late my beloved sister, if you husband is still alive please go back and he will accept you back okay! What that lead to divorce which is unforgiven, you can forgive now and God will forgive both of you..
There things that cannot be easily reversed or undone. Perhaps she left without a strategic plan on how to cope with it but surely its not healthy to keep moving in circles.
If love is no longer being served????....you MUST leave the table.....
Well she obviously divorced for a reason. Truth be known if there was hurt mention, bitterness, shouting, abuse discourse in the marriage, Trust abd believe her children would NEVER experience a normal family.A "normal family is healthy, full of love respect and teaching your children how to behave react & to love & be loved ..Sister Lady you absolutely did the right thing ❤❤❤❤❤
I really don't regret it one bit because I believe children also need to grow up in a healthy environment, there is no way you can Parent well if you are depressed on a daily basis.i wouldn't even feel bad for my children to in that static.I will not advice anyone to divorce their spouse but if must save yourself than go ahead and save yourself as you will also save your children from growing in a toxic environmenenvironment
No body like divorce, but things happen you can't stay with the parson if your not happy my dear, don't worry about it. You can go back to him if you want!!!!
I can relate 😢 i sumtyms feel d same way lukin at ma kids raising dem alone😢😢
Why would anybody want to stick in a dysfunctional marriage ??? Whats normal about subjecting children to a toxic environment??? My own children told me to leave because of the abuse . . .
People who have not experienced what you say, those who have never wore your shoes, will not understand what you say and they will criticize you for what you say. However, whatever you say is true and I applaud you for saying your truth.
Toxicity destroys children’s personality and mental health as well… better to divorce than living in a TOXIC MARRIAGE!
If you admit you regret divorcing ,then it means you feel empty and still missing the beasts you escaped.I think we should learn to love ourselves and teach our children the same.Marriage is not for everyone,and many have died trying to protect the family image.
I don’t agree, if you are in a bad marriage everyone goes down in the family. It’s damaging especially for children
My kids said to me "mama don't do it for us" it's time for you to pack your bags and leave "we will be fine without him... I'm glad I listened, I think I really needed assurance from them... It's been 4 years now.. We have a very good relationship now since we separated, hes always there for us,...
I noticed one thing about women when it comes to romance break up....they lie alot no single fault from them....zero accountability...
They're always the 'saints'.
Accountability will remain women's kryptonite because they're mostly delusional and 'right' all the time.
They're loyal only to their feelings and not to their husbands sacrifice.
No matter what you do for them as a man, it's never enough.
A divorced mother ends up living a bitter life, hating men and and is likely to start a generation of females who will divorce their husbands in the future. However, this mother may be an exception.
I respect your position my dear sister, its true i cannot be celebrated. There us no easy marriage, the fact that both husbands n wives have own independent minds & feelings tgey will from time to time share different views, argue but find a way to keep the fire 🔥 burning in marriage. Divorce is bad n terrible its satanic. Tolerance tolerance tolerance ❤❤❤❤❤
I'm really scared of divorced women.
I love your honesty my sister,many woman in our country deny their children the opportunity for a family even though the husband is also to blame
I respect you for telling the truth because that is what every woman thinks my sister, may the Lord be with you and your children ❤
😢enough said.it hurts me seeing many people, especially immigrants here in the UK,so happy to go for a divorce,out of peer influence.in the flip side,they live with regrets.thanks for your wise words.❤
I too will never ever advise divorce....am divorced man and everyday i pick up and drop off my daughtee at her mom house after school,i see how she struggle to step out of car for a shift with her mom!
God says He hate divorce.
That's powerful. I am moved by such wisdom.
I DO NOT regret divorcing my ex. I DO NOT love him anymore. I LEFT HIM because I needed to protect my children from a toxic environment. Today, I Love and recognise Jesus as their Dad, healthy, well fed, well taken care of, well mannered, all to the glory of God Almighty. I DO NOT GIVE 2chains about statistics!
Homeboy nearly ended my life 😢
You have the power to protect your peace, you can't sacrifice your life for the sake of your children, in the marriage that is not working
No man. If something doesn't work out then let it go.. you did not deny your kids a normal live as you say... you proved to them that you are strong enough to leave a toxic marriage and not stay for the "sake" of kids...
I feel for this woman but I have tons of respect for her courage. She is a plain honest person with an outstanding sound sense of judgement. Only God knows what really happened in that marriage but we men could really be naughty at times, and the unfortunate thing is that women are always on the receiving end on either side of the final decision. May God strengthen you my lady.
This is ok if the person is or was not abusive. For me it was the best decision ever, and i have no regrets. Do i wish my kids had a 2 parent household? Oh yes! But the environment had become so bad that years after leaving, I'm still recovering . not all situations are the same. If you can work things out, please do so for the sake of the kids as well. But this may not be the ideal soution with an abusive or narcissistic partner. At times leaving can be a matter of life and death. I chose to live.
Better " Divorce" than die in silence
I too was denied children rights the moment i wanted a family. Currently i feel i must marry a woman that we'll share all things not a selfish woman. Imagine living with a child with your name in her birth certificate recently she turned 13 i feel i was deprived off my rights though I'm alive i wish i had a job in diasporra and start up a family even though it'll be late to me but right from my heart I'll be a happy man
Stay if you can, leave if you can’t stay.
You are glowing sometimes it's better to leave a toxic relationship before unfortunate situation happens......children need a peaceful environment
I don’t regret divorcing the abusive and narcissistic man I was married to. I left him because of my children. I was afraid of raising my children in a toxic environment, I was afraid that they too will grow up and become abusive to their wives. I left for my own safety as well, I would have been killed. I don’t know what this lady is talking about
So many women in abusive relationships are stocked there because they don’t have the courage to leave. I feel sorry to the ones hanging in there because of “my children”. So sad we’ve lost quite a few lately
It is so painful to grow up witnessing parental differences and fights as a child,the memories haunt you forever ,as an adult at 40 i overeact to man that bash their women in the same manner i struggled to stop my own father bashing my mother...IT IS SO UNHEALTHY IN EVERYWAY,i struggle now to bring up my family in a manner opposite my parent's behaviour back then...to everybody who went through this trauma may you find strength to forgive forget heal and be an ambassador of change...it cuts too deep
I am yet to hear a person who's divorced over 10 years to say they don't regret it. Thank you for opening our eyes to "after the fact"
People must remember that, not all marriage are toxic. It happens that the married are no longer in a romantic relationship but still adore their children and care about their wellbeing and want to provide a stable, normal home for them. I think its important to think about what is best for the children than what is best for yourself.
It depends on the circumstance that warrant the divorce, abusive relationship is never allowed
There's never ever an excuse for a man or woman to stay in an abusive relationship.
Especially relationships with children that have had to witness their mother or father being physically or mentally abused.
The best decisions my parents ever made was to divorce, was it hard on me as a kid? Absolutely, was it worth it for the both of them and their mental health? Yes, it was. Now they are good friends. Not every married couples should have gotten married, some people go into marriage for circumstianal reasons. A kid is better off healthy with one parent than two unhappy parents who are constantly fighting. One of the things I made sure my parents do with us before divorcing was to talk us through it and to make us to understand that them divorcing was not our fault, two adults should not be passing on their wounds to fragile children.
IT DEPENDS WITH PROBLEMS I DONT REGRET at all if I stayed they would not known me or even went to schools they went to DEPENDS WITH PROBLEMS CEECE
The Lord be with you for this advice. All everyone says this day is, "if you don't find happiness, divorce".
Divorce is the most foolish senseless thing a person might do
Sometime there is no other option except divorce. Living in a toxic environment is harmful.
A toxic home is a no go zone for me 😢 considering what i experienced through my mum i better raise my kids without a father than letting them see the hell of the so called marriage
You can't sacrifice yourself and your children to avoid the divorce statistics .if it was a normal family you wouldn't think of divorce. I divorced my ex husband after 23 years together ,17years of marriage to protect my children and for my peace of mind.Staying in a toxic relationship is not a solution.Dont let children carry your burdens in a toxic marriage,you can hide it but they can feel everything you are going through and that's what leads to trauma
More should learn this lesson. It’s not about love or happiness, it’s a commitment based on community and descendants!
I divorced him after 20 years and that was the best decision I ever had made. He was the first man and it will be the last.
Some plp were in toxic relationships. I don't think there can be anyone that can tell a person to divorce. They back you when you have already taken that decision. Plp could have been dead if they hadn't divorced. People are in toxic marriages.. Those of you guys,in toxic marriages, divorce please
I think the lesson here is that we need to help our children to choose wisely...People who were raised in broken families sometimes bring broken hearts in their romantic relationships....they are ready to live the moment they set their feed in the marriages...... Divorce is painful....I have been there....I know it!!!
Getting married to a woman is already a burden and a double burden when she starts being disrespectful. If a woman wants a divorce, let her go immediately. It helps men in the long run. Most women thinking they would meet someone better end up getting someone worse. Women stay with your husbands