A Very Emotional 4th Of July
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- Опубликовано: 4 июл 2024
- Podcast channel - / @relaxwithcolleenander...
Instagram - / colleen
TikTok - / colleen
Main Channel - / psychosoprano
PO Box 55995
Sherman Oaks, CA 91413
Colleen Ballinger is dedicated to creating a safe, inclusive, positive space online and bullying will not be tolerated. Thank you! 
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I’m a silent watcher but also so beyond grateful that you are here for this Fourth of July. I remember last summer as well and feeling so incredibly concerned for you and so worried I’d, selfishly, never hear your beautiful voice again or see your beautiful smile. Your videos, specifically your vlogs, have been such an absolutely massive source of comfort for me for years. I’m 21 now but I’ve been watching you religiously since my middle school days and you and your beautiful family were there for me at my absolute darkest moments. I am so beyond relieved and overjoyed to see you thriving again. As someone who has struggled with severe chronic anxiety and ocd my entire life I cannot accurately express how much you and your videos do for me. I feel like I’ve grown up with you as a big sister/fun aunt and knowing how challenging last year must have been for you is deeply saddening. Seeing you gracefully make your way through and out of that time of your life has been emotional and so inspiring. Know that there are people that will always love you and wish you all the best things life has to offer.
Beautifully said, I hope Colleen see this.
This was beautifully said. I’m sure she’ll see it and be grateful
@@zoneil22 I feel the exact same way. Colleen is family and I didn’t know what to do without her last year
I felt exactly like this too. I am SO happy she is still here and I am so happy we have our beautiful friend back sharing her beautiful family with us. Thank you for your lovely comment.
couldn't have said it better myself (I'm 20 and have also been watching since middle school)
I am sobbing with you. Me and my husband both come from a lot of childhood traumas. I struggle with depression. We both always said we would raise our children with love and compassion. Holidays in general make me emotional. This year me and my husband watched our babies run and play while watching fire works. Our oldest yelled “this is the best night ever! I love my life!” And in that moment me and my husband just looked at eachother with tears in our eyes. Even when we think we are failing our children think differently. I’ve always loved watching your family and I’ll continue to do so. It’s therapeutic to know I’m not the only one who cries over everything 😂❤️
Mental health struggles has robbed so much from so many, myself included. Climbing yet another proverbial mountain right now, but I just wanted you to know how happy I am that you had the perfect view of the fireworks this year😉 For those of us still struggling, this message was much needed and appreciated!!❤ The fireworks light up the darkness with a beautiful bright explosion of color…a wonder to behold indeed!! Sending you lots of love and light through the darkness🎆☁️❤
Wesley saying "BACK Up" had me cackling - I sure needed that laugh! Happy belated 4th to you and the Fam. We are very glad you are here, Colleen - You are loved and adored.
There needs to be Flynns Fact of the Day! I could listen to that sweet boy spit out facts all day long!
Best raw and real vlog ever I think you will help many people sharing. Happy 4th we’re glad your hear this year too!
I am so glad you are here Colleen. You fought like hell. And look at you now. You're not dead you are surely alive. We love you❤
Umm after hearing everything Flynn had to say about cuttlefish I suddenly think I might also be obsessed with cuttlefish
Right??? Me too! They are so cool!
I can’t get over how mature Flynn is now! And he’s very bright!
He’s incredible!!! ❤
TTQ: Does Flynn know who you are talking to when you speak to the camera? Like does he grasp the concept of what mom does for a living? I got curious cause he was also talking to the camera!
seeing clips of you from last year is so jarring. i remember thinking how we were never ever gonna see your face again. glad you're here ❤
Thank you so much Flynn for teaching us all about cuttlefish.
Kids pull us through the darkest of times. I’m going through a really dark time right now and my kids are my strength. Sending you love. I was doing the same for you last year too. Even if you couldn’t feel, see, or know that we were there…you had thousands of lights shining for you last 4th of July too. We were sending thoughts, hope and love that you would reach your mountaintop. That you would be okay. I’m glad you’re there.
This is making me cry! I hope she sees this! 🥰
Thousands of us were loving you and praying for you from afar. I felt so sad that my sweet family was not in my world! To watch you at the end of this video, broke my heart and I wanted to just give you hugs! I personally was working hard combating the evil that dared to assail you. God gave you your dear family to love you through it and nothing is more important than that. Depression/grief can really floor a person. Just know you are loved more than you know and I will forever hold your banner high! God bless you and we all thank the Lord for walking with you through the valley. Seems like my words don’t go far enough ! You are a bright light and a fine person! Much love to you, Colleen! You have a large FANmily, Mirfarmy!❤️🙏🥰💄💋🦖🦕🦑🐞🦑
The fireworks look magical.
Maisy’s little French braids are the cutest stinkin thing I’ve ever seen! 💚💚💚
Flynn is the most precious boy!
OMG, I seriously can't get over how Flynn said "see ya later!" LMAO, he is too funny!🤣🤣🤣
I just want to tell you how grateful I am for you and how vulnerable you can be with us. I am currently having such a hard time battling my depression. Hearing my kids say they love me and hug me and say I'm the best mom ever when I don't feel like I am or deserve that or could be better. My kids are my world. It's an everyday battle, some are better than others. But we can't stop fighting.
TTQ: Colleen, last year when all the bad things were happening and you didn't want to be here. How did Erik help you through this?
Flynn's "see ya later girrlllll" had me cracking up at the end of his chicken butt vlogging, lol he's so cute and funny :) so precious
Thank you for sharing. Currently my heart is shattered into a million pieces. Today, July 5th, I ended up having to put down my sweet boy, my love, my cat Buddy. He got sick and went downhill So Fast these last 3 weeks, but man he was a little trooper through it all my sweet boy. I watched him be born and take his first breath and this morning I held him in my arms as he took his last. I would wake up almost every morning to him purring next to me and now there will be only silence.... 14 years was not long enough my sweet Buddy. I will hold you in my heart, always.
I’m so sorry for your loss! Sometimes it’s harder to lose a beloved pet than even a family member. 😢
I'm so sorry you lost your sweet boy. It sounds like he was your heart cat. I lost mine 4 years ago to cancer and it feels like yesterday. I saved a little of his hair and put it in a memorial bracelet that never leaves my wrist so he is always at my side.
I hope you find more love and joy in another fur baby someday, although each one is special and holds a piece of our hearts. ❤❤
I am so sorry for your cat! Lossing a pet is so hard, you got this! ❤
So sorry Karley. 😢
I don’t know if this will help you at all, but wanted to share.
My Mom adopted a cat 3 weeks ago, and named him Buddy. ❤ He was found locally stuck in a tree and the animal control officer held him for a week and my Mom won the lottery to adopt him. Shes over the moon. Her last kitty was named Harley, and he passed from cancer at only 5 years old just a couple years ago. And this little man is so much like him. Shes in love.
So maybe if you know we are loving on a Buddy as well, it’ll help you. ❤
I'm so very sorry for your loss ❤
I have no words other than I'm glad you're here Colleen
Hi, I’m also a silent viewer, and I have always been rooting for you. You are an *amazing* mama to your children and no one can take that away from you. Ever. I’m glad you’re here this Fourth of July and that you continue to share a piece of your world with us🥰💗💗
My 4th of July sucked!! I lost someone who was like another grandmother to me. 😭💔 Also, today marks my 17th decompression year (17 years since I had my Brain Surgery, & I became a Brain Surgery Survivor.) 💜
EDIT: I really, really needed this vlog SO MUCH COLLEEN!! Thank You for posting, Thank You for sharing.
I Love You!! I’m so glad you’re still here!! 🥹💜
💜 I think that you being able to show the reality of last years day vs. what your memory of it was will be such a huge breakthrough for you! I know it just taught me to use going back & watching old videos as a tool to help me re-write the stories that have set up shop in my head.
Our brains are constantly manipulating us, most of the time they work against our best interest!! I’ve heard ppl say that therapy is stupid that it’s just tricking yourself, that smart ppl can’t be tricked blah blah but in reality we get to choose every day, every moment how we interpret and how we react or respond to every moment. You are just as much tricking yourself into thinking negatively, as you are if you switch & think positively. And this is such good evidence that I hope many ppl can use to show that often times our memories of something are more fiction than fact!
Well said
Flynn's so smart 🥺☺️
The top is the coolest part 🤍
colleen !!!!! you inspired me to go and do a random flight to the UK to see a concert !
Hi colleen! I just wanted to thank you for getting me and my daughter through covid! For us and many other people covid was devastating but everyday my daughter and I would watch you and after every video we would feel a little more happy again! I just want you to know that you are loved by my daughter and I and we still watch ur videos till this day❤
I am glad that you are here for the 4th of July xoxo I am glad that you can see the top half of the beauty💗
Hi, I never really comment, but I have to say how much I’m so glad that you’re back. You are literally one of my biggest idols. We are so similar even though I’ve never met you having ADHD and dermatilimania and a lot of things that you go through I see in me and my life + your personality is so much like mine. It’s crazy but that’s not the point the point is I was so sad last year during this time, and even though I did fun things in the summer, I was very sad because I thought that you would never come back. Watching you was a big part of me growing up and graduating high school.
I’m so thankful for that. And this year has been an amazing year and to be able to continue to watch you and continue to look up to you has been the greatest gift. You’re an amazing mom and amazing person and thank you so much for everything you’ve done to impact my life, even if you don’t even meet me or know me, just know you are a big part of my happiness and success. Maybe in the future I’ll get to meet you that be my greatest dream. Seen everything you have done as a woman with ADHD has really gave me the confidence to keep pursuing my acting career. You been on waitress has been such an inspiration. Anyway, this is really long thank you so much. I hope you read this and I really hope that you get to be so happy and your kids are amazing. Thank you !!!! ❤❤
colleen wearing the british flag on independence day 😭😭
It's so cute how Flynn becomes in charge of the vlog for a bit. Love him! 💕
OMG that cuttlefish plush is AMAZING!!! Holy cow!!!
Back up!!😂😂😂 That was the 4th of July you needed. It was important that you hear your son say those words to you. Continue to look for the top half of the fireworks Colleen. 💐
I appreciate you sharing the dark side of depression and the light at the end of the tunnel. I also will die on this mountain that you did not deserve everything that was brought unto you. I truly believe it was just for clout and that’s what bothers me the most. I’m so happy to see you finding yourself again and I pray it continues ❤
How are u already finished watching the video?
💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
We all do things that we regret. Or realize we should have done things differently.
Colleen is not alone ❤
Yesterday was a hard day I can’t do fire works and all the noise was giving me anxiety
I was so worried about you last year at this time. I’m so happy that you’re here.
I just wanted to say I’ve been watching you pretty much since the beginning (when Bailey was a baby) and I’ve followed all of your journeys. Last year was absolutely horrible and heartbreaking to see that happen to you. It wasn’t deserved and I’m glad you didn’t let them win. I lost my brother last year from him taking his own life and it destroyed my soul. Keep fighting the demons❤
😢😢😢😢sending prayers of cont healing I’m so sorry to hear of your brother hang on to the ones you love till one day you and your brother meet again
Colleen, this looked like a clip from what could have been a Pixar or Disney movie when a family goes to look at the “cloud fireworks”. Hearing sweet Flynn say “the top is the best part”. Happy holiday weekend to you and your family and everyone in the comments. For those that don’t celebrate the 4th holiday, wishing you a happy weekend.🎆🎇🎆
Can we talk about how smart Flynn is! Anyway, as always, great vlog. Much love to you and your family!
I laughed out loud when you showed the cuttlefish and it totally matched your blue eye makeup! cute!
I had no idea how bad your depression was. Thank you for sharing and getting through it. Something that gave me chills that maybe I’m just looking too much into.. the toy that’s singing during the clip with the twins sounds like it’s saying “where is mommy, where is mommy”, so ironic since you felt so lost, these clips made me so sad. I’m so glad your in such a better place and continuing to move forward 💜
Silent watcher. I always felt a little selfish when Colleen would share about her mental health struggles and I would feel a little better because it made me feel less alone. Thank you so much Colleen for being vulnerable and helping me get through rough times in my life.
wow colleen i am so proud of you for fighting and staying strong. it scares me that you were suffering so much that you wanted to end it all. it literally makes me sob to think about but you are an amazing human and an inspiration to so many people!! i love you. thankyou.
Omg Flynn is so big now! He looks just like his dad!!
Thank you for being here and for being you! I've been watching your vlogs for a long time even before Flynn was born. I feel like after all of these years after watching your vlogs everyday you're one of my best friends even though we've never met lol we all love you!!
Depression is horrible, this vlog may be my favorite one you’ve ever posted it was so beautiful and your metaphor was beautiful. I had one of the worst years of my life last year too and wasn’t sure if I was gonna make it or not or if my marriage was gonna make it. Thankfully I’m doing much better now too and I’m so incredibly overjoyed to see you and your family together and happy. I’m so sorry for your battle with depression, we gotta keep fighting and see the fireworks through the fog. 🎆🎇
Thank you for showing me I’m not alone in my depression
You always do Maisy's hair in the cutest styles!
It down poured all day on the 4th. We still watched fireworks but we got soaked. 😅
Im turning 30 this year. I’ve watched every video you’ve posted since ‘California Gurls’ when I was in 8th grade about to go to highschool. You’ll never know how much joy you brought to my life to get me through a terrible childhood. I will always be in the front row cheering you on. You are so beautiful inside and out and deserve the world. Ilysm 💖 Keep being the bright light you are 🙏🏼 I’ve been to all of your Austin, TX Miranda shows and will cherish those memories forever.
Colleen you are an incredible mother. Never doubt yourself. You are doing an amazing job raising your children. ❤️
When the desperation to end things spirals i always remember just one more day..each day is a new opportunity to see the beauty.
STOPPP FLYNN’S “see ya later girlllll” has me dying
Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing what depression can look like. Your raw emotions hit my heart and made me reflect on my own journey. Please, please know that I see you and shared tears with you because I can relate and with those dark and terrifying feelings. You are here for a reason. You matter. You are worthy. You are incredible and unstoppable. You are loved. Keep smiling beautiful. XO
So glad you are here❤ sending big hug
I speak for all of us, Colleen, we are so happy you fought to be here with us. We are so lucky you allow us to be part of your journey. We love you and we are happy you stayed ❤
I love you Colleen! I'm so sorry you had to go through that last year.
Now you know you are the best mom in the whole world, you heard it from the world's smartest kid.
Wesley-- the sass!! 😂😂
Just me and colleen just sobbing out here on the floor
Happy 4th of July to you and ur family hope you had amazing holiday ❤️🇺🇸💙
Glad you're still with us Colleen, I missed you a lot last year and I'm so glad you decided to stay and come back to us here on the vlogs. PS I've said it a lot but Flynn just seems like the absolute coolest kid. I never want kids myself, but if I knew I could have one exactly like Flynn I might've haha.
Those fireworks were incredible. I’ve never seen them from that vantage point. Thank you for sharing! And we love you and are so thankful you are here. ❤
I cried at this video because it brought back memories of my depression and how I got out of it. It’s hard…but it’s life changing. All I want to do is hug you.
I checked for your return everyday, I so glad you came back. You will get stronger everyday even if you sometimes don’t feel it.😊❤
I'm grateful you returned to your vlogs
So glad you’re here for this 4th and you can now see the other side of the fog ❤️
1:44 A TIRE SWING?! oh my goddddd. They got rid of all of these near us but we had sooooooooooo much fun on them as kids. My dad specifically would spin us sooooo fast we would squeeze as many kids as possible on it and he would do an insane spin for us. Wooooow so much fun haha
Omg I love watching your vlogs!! I always watch them when I’m on break at my job and every time you show Wesley he reminds me so much of my little boy who’s about to turn 2 this month and it just warms my heart while I’m at work ❤
Colleen and Eric are exciting parents that a kid could ever have.
Cool fireworks. What a beautiful view
I just wanted to say that I’m so thankful that you added the clips from last year into the vlog today. You will never know how much comfort they gave me to see someone (even though I know there are many others) feel the same way that I have felt at times and had to just have my breakdown moment by myself and then wipe my tears and climb that mountain to get myself back to feeling happy and healthy again. Literally I can’t say thank you enough for every single day that you choose to share your life and your families life with us as well. You are so amazing Colleen and I promise you are helping someone each and every day with your daily vlogs in some way, especially me. Sending you so many hugs your way my friend. 🫂🫂🫂
Don’t ever stop being the amazing person you are! 💕 😊
Colleen, I've been there a few times in my life. I was finally diagnosed at 33 (I'm 40 now) with Bipolar 1. I've struggled with anxiety as well. Intrusive thoughts and the heavy depression was debilitating at times and I'm so glad to be here still. I do accredit my success to God. I'm so glad you're still here with us. Thank you for sharing 🧡
Maisy’s hair has really grown and is so cute!
I love the view of the fireworks! I’m glad you had a nice chill day.
I am so happy you are here for this 4th! You are loved.
That firework display over fog reminds me of Disney Paris for some reason. Very magical!
That cuttlefish looks fantastic! Great job!!🙌 also your kids are gorgeous and brilliant❤
I am so grateful that youre here colleen.
Watching your sadness and depression from last year makes me livid all over again. YOU DID NOT DESERVE THAT!! 😡. My rant is over.😊. I adore you Colleen. This coming from a 56 year old grandma of three. The joy I see in you now, makes my heart happy .❤️
genuinely thank you for posting this. your little talk that things get better is what I really needed. going through the darkest time of my life and every day just feels worse and worse. I'm so tired. last year was such a better time. I look back on times like last 4th of july, last pride, and I get so uncontrollably depressed. I miss someone so very much they were incredibly dear to me but they want nothing to do with me now. I cant stand these emotions. I've been planning how I'll end it all. but seeing your speech how things get better, I'll eventually be on top of that mountain watching half fireworks. thank you haha. I'm so happy you're here with us and back online. I'm happy you made it through ur darkest time. if you can do it, so can I. you're a wonderful woman and mother. thank you for existing
I don’t comment EVER.. but the twins came when they needed to “on your darkest hour” to pull you through… I’ve always been told you get what you need not what you want.. I really appreciate your rawness. Been a follower since Flynn’s pregnancy vlogs (our kids are the same age) and I’ve struggled with PPA / PPD and still anxiety and depression. Just thank you.
Love you Colleen! So glad things are better now!❤
Hi Colleen! I'm thankful you're here! 🥰 Selfishly, I'm pissed you're charm was taken from you then ultimately us last year. I left a toxic 10.5yr relationship in June 2023 and was instantly diagnosed with breast cancer. I had surgery on July 21st 2023, chemo then radiation. When you started vloging again, I felt comfort. I was talked down to because I watched your channel and cleaning channels, I continued to do it but I always had his voice in the back of my head. It's been a rough year for both of us for different reasons. I'm thankful we are both here to enjoy this laid back 4th of July!
Feeling extra grateful that your kids, erik, your family and friends and most importantly YOU got you through that awful time and that you are here this fourth of July. There were few, if any, days that I didn’t think about you last summer. I was so heartbroken for you, but i am so proud of you for getting through such a dark time. Love you always. ❤
I am so very happy you are here and made it through, as a mom of 2 that both have struggled with depression I see the struggle you have been dealing with and see how very far you have come since deciding to come back on RUclips. It hurts me so much to see how other people go out of there way to hurt a person for their own personal gain and don't care at all about how it negatively effects not just the recipient of their negativity but all the people around them who care for them I for one am so very proud of you, you held on tight to the love that surrounds you and it shows. I love watching your entire family thrive and grow and can't waite to see whats next.
Just so you know Colleen I’m SO SO proud of you for fighting every day, ik it’s not easy, but it’s so worth it. I love you so much and I’m so glad you’re still here💜💜💜
We are grateful for another 4th with you, Colleen! 🌸✨
I am a silent watcher and may I say, we are so happy you are here. I remember thinking how evil everyone was acting toward you last year and I had nothing but hope and prayers for you that things would get better. We love you. We are so grateful you are here.
Happy 4th of July
You are great love u❤
Seeing that clip at the end of you crying in bed last Fourth of July broke my heart. I was so so worried about you those days. It hurts seeing you suffering, I knew you were suffering but seeing it is so heartbreaking. I am just so glad you made it through. Flynn is right you are the best mommy in the whole world. You are an inspiration to me. I am so grateful you made it through such a tough time and are here today doing better.
I’m so glad you’re back online. I was always supporting you from afar and praying for your healing and return. Your celebration of the fourth was beautiful!! I’m so glad you’re still here. You matter and you contribute so much to my life and the lives of so many others!
I love Flynn’s cuddlefish special interest, so cute lol
Also, I loved the cuttlefish segment! Apparently, cuttlefish bones are something birds can sharpen their beaks on and give them some calcium! I found out when searching for cuttlefish toys.
Colleen don’t look back at the negatives of last year , you are amazing and we are so happy you are back 💕
“I can only see the top, but the top is the coolest part!” - Flynn Stocklin 4th July 2024 ❤
“Stop! BACK UP!” - Wesley Stocklin 4th July 2024 🤣🤣🤣
Not me boohooing at work watching the ending. I SO needed to hear that. Thanks for bringing hope into my darkness. ❤
My favorite quote "see ya later girrrrl"
Flynn
I cant even type cuz i start tearing up but I love you, thank you and please never go away.
I started to follow your vlogs when you discovered you were pregnant with Flynn, and since then I have seen you grow as a person and the beautiful mother you're with your babies. In 2020 I was diagnosed with anxiety and your videos were joy and comfort for in those days. I'm glad you're here Colleen.