Also I am apologizing in advance for the annoying censoring 😔 it’s the only way to work around RUclips’s strict guidelines. If it gets confusing and you really don’t know what I said at any point, the uncensored transcript is public on my Substack! Edit: If you have any suggestions on how to better work around censorship let me know! I hate it too trust me. I know Mina Le often will substitute words like “sex” with “snacks” but I think that could also get confusing if I substitute too many words, also it could get trickier with words like “eroticization”. Let me know what you think!☺️
It's okay. I love your videos btw. I'm 15 and your videos have honestly made me think a lot about society and the way that they treat us girls and women. It would be cool if you could make a topic on misogynoir as well.
if it, wasn,t sam levinson involment it would be woke, female prespective means complaining about men wrriting them being bad, women showing their massage in our throuts at least this wasn,t woke just a bad show
The fact that the show was originally meant to be about how female celebrities and artists are exploited in the entertainment industry and then Sam Levinson and The Weeknd took over and scrapped the original story because it was “too feminist & female gazy" really speaks volumes on how they view us girls and women. And I’m saying this as someone who's a minor 😬
@@watchcloudspassmeby Thank you. I come from a conservative culture and a lot of the things that some of my family members are are incredibly misogynistic and sexist so yeah. I know a lot of things
@@sarabiqueen3642God, I loved Insatiable so much 😢 I was and still am furious that it was canceled because ppl got offended by it 🙄🙄 and they say we're the ones who get offended by everything...
This video reminds me of that one study that shows that it takes women twice as long to die as men in slashers, and females are shown in terror for longer periods of time than males. 😬
@@lovelylanafansweetie4240in movies there is usually a long sequence of women being hurt and frightened for a while before they die in a creative way while male character’s almost always die immediately. kinda like how in real life unfortunately women are left alive for a long time before they are killed to be tortured and raped first
@@sambanks9670Where do you think men learn that? Even to stalk women in alleyways. It's always movies and TV shows. Though they're supposed to save the woman, not be the perpetrators.
theres also a disgusting correlation between horror movies and sexual assault scenes. almost always, there is no point for it to be in the movie and is there for shock value.
Many times I've heard men say shit like "girls with BPD give the best head" or "girls who self-harm are the kinkiest" and that you should go for 'crazy girls' for hookups for these reasons but never be with them for an actual relationship. Shit like that is ridiculously dehumanising and diminishes our experiences, trauma, and health conditions to how men can benefit from our suffering and what sexual pleasure they can derive from it.
Yeah and that's fucking sick. If a girl who self-harms or has BPD is taken advantage of and used, they could end up being in a worse state or commit suicide
>and that you should go for 'crazy girls' for hookups for these reasons but never be with them for an actual relationship I literally felt my heart broke as I read this. I had SO MANY GUYS in my teen years as a bpd girl who "loved" me, but I was only there to feed their egos. I wrote a vent poem about it and when I showed it to my only trusted male friend he said he laughed out loud.
@@kant.68male suffering is better depicted because most who write about the subject actually care about the perspective they’re trying to write from, so sadly no it’s not the same. (unless ur talking bout sumthing else)
@@bluud6 We shouldn’t be expecting blockbusters to make deep dive analysis of someone’s psyche. If you wanna see female suffering accurately depicted watch European cinema, russian cinema, independent films. To say this isn’t a thing is disingenuous. It has been accurately depicted for decades. And yes movies can romanticize male and female suffering . Do you think Requiem for a Dream, Fight Club, The Pianist and even Spiderman 2 or comics like Batman haven’t don’t romantize male suffering? Literally Rambo is about an ex viet veteran with PTSD. Rocky is about an italian lowlife who is a loser but wants to make it big in a fight he knows 100% he will loose . Countless COUNTLESS movies both accurately depicted or romanticize male and female suffering. In equal numbers. Romantic Comedies tackle female emotional turmoils and that’s 100% female. I don’t know what you’re complaining about
there's a wonderful quote by Madeline Miller, wrote in her book "Circe", that really resonate with the whole video : "It seems that punishing women is the favorite pastime of poets. As if there could be no story unless we crawl around crying..."
I never finished blonde, I got 30 mins or so in and realized how disgusting it was that they were just destroying Marilyn’s image once more with sex and suffering once more and I turned it off.
I had a conversation with my (male) roomate that reminds me of this phenomenon of men feeling the need to communicate the often predatory nature of man to women. The conversation many young girls have with their fathers that sounds like “I was a boy once I know what they think, I know how they are”. We don’t need men explaining the nature of predation to us… most of us are very aware of this behavior from personal experience. However men who assume this behavior of all of their fellow men don’t realize that they are wrong it’s not in man’s nature to prey upon, hurt or exploit women, that’s an issue they need to confront within themselves.
“I was a boy once I know what they think, I know how they are”. I'm glad that, despite his faults, my dad never said this to me. I would have lost trust in him. You mean to tell me you were/are the kind of person you're telling me is a danger?
A thief assumes everyone steals. Ironically places that espouse what fathers and other men say have SAs more and poor gender equality compared to places with less frequency, saying this with personal experience. Its almost as if the mentality fails to keep men properly accountable and deflects the responsibility to girls and women instead. Its a perpetuating cycle.
The Idol’s construction reminded me of a phenomena I’ve noticed of certain men’s desire to derive power from humiliating / disempowering women they feel are out of reach to them (be it because of her beauty, her accomplishments, her class, what she represents to him). Jocelyn’s framework as a character almost entirely borrows from the public staples of Lily-Rose Depp, herself: a wealthy, sensual, elusive woman, who because of her upbringing feels inaccessible (even her styling borrows from Lily’s it-girl persona, with the smoking and Chanel glasses). With Cassie in Euphoria, it felt like the show was humiliating a type of woman that Sam Levinson both lusts and resents. With The Idol, there is so little differentiation between Jocelyn and Lily-Rose, conceptually, that the humiliation of the character feels specific to Lily-Rose. I respect the fact that Lily-Rose Depp has been very clear that she felt really safe and supported on set, but that was still how the show read to me.
When I was watching the show, I didn’t feel like I was watching Jocelyn’s nude body, violent sex and sexualisation, I felt like I was watching Lilly rose’s. I was so shocked, the whole time I was just thinking how the hell she was ok with this, I’m glad she was and I’m glad she felt safe but it read as humiliation porn against Lilly, not Jocelyn. I hate how her tits and ass were constantly out and I hate how she was wearing tiny little dresses while she was being fucked and spanked and in pain. It made me sick. She never wore anything that truly covered her body, I was hoping in her concert when she finally regained some power she’d wear something that covered her head to toe, but even her dress was see through
It became clear to me that Cassie was an expression of Levinson's resentment and sexism when even her own mother turned on her for "dating her friend's boyfriend" even though they were "broken up" and expresses zero concern about Nate's history of abuse and protecting her daughter. Frankly, parents love their children and will tend to see things from their perspective. It's totally unbelievable that her basically loving if alcoholic mom would call her a whore to her face while she's already having a breakdown. AND her mom is portrayed as CORRECT AND GOOD to do so. It's fucking gross. The whole girl fight aspect of the show was so fucking sexist and stupid, portraying them as catty violent idiots instead of full people with interiority.
About problems in medical field... Dismissing female pain and humanity is such a huge thing in OBGYN. Men would never take such abuse as women do on a regular basis as patients. And Noone ever even speaks about it. It's all so vile and disgusting
If you speak about it you just get accused of making it up for attention/pills/etc so I learned to become my own doctor and I do a better job than they do.
For real I’ve had male doctors not use lube and ram stuff into me and act like I was a baby for reacting, as well as not being believed many times when I needed urgent care
@@4ngelvenomutterly horrendous behaviour. Don't take crap from any male ob/gyn!!! never accept that treatment because it is unnecessary and unacceptable.
The more I think about it, I’m not no longer surprised that the weekend would say the show at first had a “feminist perspective” when in his song Lost In The Fire” one of his lyrics is “you said you might get into girls, said you’re going through a phase keeping your heart safe. Well maybe you can bring a friend, she can ride on top your face, while I fuck you straight.” And people were shocked and disgusted about how it’s basically fetishizing lesbians.
when you said “is this the barbarism black women must endure to be seen?” touched me so hard because people brush it off and it’s so prevalent in our society today.
Watching this I have recalled all the times I stood in front of the mirror while I was crying and thought that I look pretty, or the times I took a "crying selfie" because I thought I looked good while crying. Even in the moments of pain women monitor themselves through the lens of the male gaze. Great video btw.
I believe you also touched on this in the video, but sadness or pain are seen as inherently feminine traits as they're fetishized in women but seen as embarassing or weak when experienced by men
You know what hurts me most about all these fetishisms of women sadness? It makes it insignificant. Like hey it's fun on the movie screen and tv shows that your abused. It's even romantic. That just doesn't help us, the fact that they don't see it as an issue but something to turn it to some sort of entertainment most often in a sexualway.
it's awful how many men I've met who actually have fetishized female pain to a point where they don't even notice it. They see a woman in pain and literally get aroused by it. They may view as their "kink" but like...they don't ever ask where it came from?!
I agree, i have tattoos & piercings and ive had guys approach me multiple times with emo/goth girl kinks being vulgar and assuming that i like pain and that im kinky because of my body mods. Ive also heard multiple men make comments about how women with nose rings are crazy/kinky. Our physical and emotional pain is fetishized in so many ways it makes my head spin.
@@lauren8152THIS! It's so weird, I have extensive tattoos on my left side of my body and visible piercings. My Instagram is mostly showing off my Barbie and 80s/90s toy collection, so pretty PG stuff. You can clearly see my tattoos and piercings in my Instagram photos and I do get a lot of young girls commenting saying my tattoos are cool (I have a bunch of Sanrio, 90s cartoons and 90s anime tatts). I've had to block, delete comments, and straight up take down certain posts because the crazy men will literally hop their crazed female pain obsessed a*$es in my DM's/comments and message/comment the most disgusting, depraved things to me. I had one dude literally kept commenting how I was a bad little girl and he was going to punish me and take my toys away! I'M LIKE ARE YOU F_*KING FOR REAL RIGHT NOW! GET OUT OF HERE! Blocked him immediately.
Marilyn guts me, the way she was an amazing person reduced to a sex symbol in her death going as far as having people to be buried face down above her.
I thought that 'Perfect Blue' was such a well made film and I believe Sarah Hankins explanation of how uncomfortable Mima's pain is to watch was described perfectly.
The difference is that Perfect Blue centres on what the protagonist was actually feeling. We see her as a human and the difference between her true self and her artistic persona. The Idol treats Jocelyn as a tool. As meat. Sexy, crazy, damaged, the new Cassie.
Perfect Blue is actually make me uncomfortable, but kept me watching because it's good. Mima's pain and struggle were potrayed very real. Like, watching a train wreck you cannot look away from.
@@absolutelynotellen For real. I _felt_ like I was Mina. I felt like the framing and story led me to feel as if I were her. It's been a while since I've watched that film, but I remember there was the famous back bath scene, in which she was like submerged in the bath and she screamed below the water. It truly made me feel her dejection and just plain hopelessness. Or when she's being raped for the video/media thingy (I believe she was shooting a film). I genuinely felt uncomfortable and as if I were there, lying down and being attacked. The Idol is the contrary. We're always invited to look at Jocelyn, not to empathise with her. We're always like observing or gazing at her, as if she were a pig's leg in a butcher shop. And I feel like the story makes us put ourselves in the place of Te-something, not her. I swear to god I've seen pornography that makes me feel more connected emotionally to the characters than this show. I feel so much happier now, because I never watched Euphoria. That show seemed like another edgy, dark for the sake of being dark, exaggerated wannabe yankee soap opera, the likes of Mexican or Filipino ones, but with way more budget.
As a man, this video made me examine my perspective on women's portrayal in media. I never realized how women's suffering was being fetishized for the screen; it's horrifying. I hope this trend will one day end, but something tells me that it won't.
As A MaN" and you expect azzpats for this, and ofc here come some handmaidens to give them to you. You are not special and your opinion on women's suffering means less than nothing.
the fetishization seems so obvious when you combine all these scenes of beautiful women looking so beautiful while crying. makes women to believe that happiness makes them less attractive. great video!
@@natalieoliveira578hey’re romanticised, we look at them like beautiful statues not humans who are in pain. Women’s pain is turned into beauty, there’s nothing beautiful about a woman experiencing pain, there’s nothing beautiful about anything or anyone in pain, ever
@natalieoliveira578 i can't remember which movie this was in, but they showed the sexual harassment of a woman for an extended period of time, which after a point just felt like it was being glorified as this oh no a woman is suffering and it is so sad but beautiful, i couldn't explain the feeling until one of my male friend's suggested it might be because of how frequently they repeated the scene (there wasn't much censorsing) and also how ut was potrayed with angles similar to that of erotic scenes between a couple, i could never quiet explain it in one sentence until i saw the thumbnail and the title of this video. Which just made so much sense as to why it irked me whenever i remembered it. Hope this was helpful. Edit: absolutely right about the other comment in this thread, that no one's pain is ever beautiful. There is pain that we feel empathy for, but never someone's pain that should give us happiness.
something ive also noticed is how cinema treats sexual violence towards women, the way rape is portrayed as either a "rebirth" in making the classic femme fatale-esque type who goes off on this revenge story. or on the contrary the "victim". the woman in this case needs to be saved, needs to be treated as fragile, and its shown in all it's brutality (in a fetishized portrayal). i can't think of a specific scene right now but i hope you get my point. the woman in this scenario is not seen as a human being with human feelings, but instead is subjected to being turned into a "hot" or "sexy" sad woman.
It depends on the movie. For example, rape happens so many times in Death Wish movies it becomes a bad joke. In Red Sonya, it's necessary but only bad takes make the prologue 'empowering'. It's not for nothing people still love Queen Bodicca despite her losing on the battlefield.
Oh yeah, i realized that. Most female characters in fictions i saw often experiencing any type of abuse in order for them to got a "character development". They gotta experience s3xual ass4ult, getting cheated on by their partner, abused/mistreated....like, wtf is going on??
For a pop star, the name "Jocelyn" isn't catchy, also i somehow not surprised that the one that end up playing as the main girl in the show is Lily Rose Depp. Honestly, The Idol could have been a great show about satire of struggle of female celebrities and artists in the entertainment industry. Until Sam Levinson and The Weeknd took over 🤦🏻♀️ they even said that, the show was too female gazed so they scraped over to become a straight up p0rn wtf. Everytime Levinson came around, he always ended up destroying it. 💀
@@FinalGirlStudios from the name to her styling and music, non of it even screams someone that knows what would sell as a popstar. If you're going to create a fake celebrity at least make it believable that they would be successful irl.
@@natalieoliveira578 idk. I felt like because she fits to the role a lot? I felt like she doesn't have any "iconic" aura and the charisma to potray such a popstar character. Not to mention, i only know her for being Depp and Paradis' daughter.
I have to drop everything whenever you post and mentally prepare myself to: a) feel more in touch with embracing myself as my own muse, b) fall in love with absolutely wondrous yet horribly wronged women and c) find new men to loathe.
I worked at a pizza shop in my early 20's. I had a male co-worker tell me I should package and sell my "pretty girl tears". He said he knew a ton of men that would buy women's tears!!!! I told my boss and other higher-ups and I was the one that was fired. Men can really suck. edit: because I forgot to mention that this is brilliant. Keep going 💜
I wonder if this is related to what men mean when they accuse women of having a victim complex-- that femininity is entwined with suffering in their minds, and in fact in women's minds, too. It does almost feel natural and feminine to suffer, as much as I'm disgusted with myself for thinking this-- like in Lana Del Rey songs or with the last girl trope in horror movies; suffering is the most feminine thing you can do. I don't want to suffer but I can see myself in that role so easily and there's sort of a romantic gloss over it that's hard to get rid of. Even true crime obsession-- so often focused on conventionally attractive women being brutally murdered, and mostly consumed by women-- are we acting on this? Affirming to our own minds the goodness and femininity of the victims and condemning the murderers simultaneously?
The last girl trope is the opposite of that tho, it’s empowering seeing women become triumphant over a great evil, I don’t see how thats a harmful trope. It’s always been one of my favorites
I would like to mention tuberculosis impacting beauty standards in the Victorian times. Being frail and pale was the essence of feminine beauty, while woman's attractiveness was also a 'way to judge' how likely she was to suffer from TB in the future.
@@Las645 I think the trope evolved. It started with the "pure virgin" surviving by running away while screaming, but later many final girls survive by putting on their badass face and winning by fighting and being smart. It really depends on the movie.
@@Las645 Arguably the reason the last girl trope exists it to get more time watching a beautiful woman being terrorized, chased, screaming, clothes torn, groped, hit, crying, raped, tortured, etc. The writers of Terrifier 2 wrote a female character being hung upside down and then cut in half starting at her crotch, all while she's alive, so I don't think they where including a last girl main protagonist as a salute to feminism. Obviously some movies choose to empower the last girl at the end and let her get away, traumatized but alive. Others don't. Regardless of whether she's empowered to survive or slowly brutalized to death, I do think the fact that so many women enjoy the trope-- myself included-- does actually support the idea that suffering and femininity are entwined. Her feminineness is affirmed by her extreme suffering. It's hard to imagine a male scream queen equivalent for this reason-- screaming, crying, terrorized men aren't considered entertaining tv for the most part.
It breaks my heart everyday that pain is so sexualized. Sex is not supposed to hurt, and it's sad that people (especially young people) think it's supposed to.
That's why i love arcane. Female suffering is ugly in that show. Noone wants Jinx. They want Powder (outside of silco because os his suffering and making it into a grand thing) Arcane makes it clear that its not supposed be this way. Show wants us to want these charecters to do well.
If Jinx turns out to have killed everyone except Mel and Hammer guy (she was implied to have had armour hologram on her back, probably her mom's doing) there's no filter like Azula and Ozai. There's only Jinx, and Vi would have to accept her little sister is gone.
This topic reminded me of an excerpt I read from John Berger's “Ways of Seeing." It goes like this; "A woman must continually watch herself. She is almost continually accompanied by her own image of herself. Whilst she is walking across a room or whilst she is weeping at the death of her father, she can scarcely avoid envisaging herself walking or weeping. From earliest childhood, she has been taught and persuaded to survey herself continually. And so she comes to consider the surveyor and the surveyed within her as the two constituent yet always distinct elements of her identity as a woman." The hunger I have for more Femme directors to portray women's pain, hell, women through a Humanizing lens is ravenous at this point. That is why I'm over the moon to watch Barbie. Thank you so much for this video love, your content restores my hope.
Exactly! Often when I’m crying in my room (alone) I will go to the bathroom to check if I was still pretty and presentable. Wtf? Why do I do that? I’m crying alone? Why do I need to look presentable. It sucks how I see my own suffering and emotions through the male gaze.
@@nexialiist Well, upon watching the movie I can proudly confirm that Barbie not only humanized women, but the movie also humanized men through a lens that acknowledges how the patriarchy oppresses us and perpetuates the very issues this video touched on... So if your comment was intended to make fun of the expectations I had for this movie, then I'm afraid you've failed...
@@savvy3tv632 I resonate so deeply with this!!! It's all part of that gender socialization. I'm just so happy we've reached a level of awareness where we can unpack what we've been conditioned to believe and feel our pain, cry an ugly cry without insecurity. 🫶🏽
Great video as always. I'm a very young doctor and the end of the video is something that hits close. Male and female colleagues constantly dismissing female patients' pain and me feeling powerless to change their mind and perception.
There was an OLYMPIAN who died in her home alone and scare cause her doctors didn't pay close attention to her high blood pressure, which was a danger for her and the growing baby, which it was in the end. She was overshadowed by two mummys competing against each other who can pop a baby from a mom who was their niece's age first. One of them being Al Pacino.
I’ve been suffering with headaches my whole life due to noise and it has been getting worse and worse. Every single doctor waves me off and tells my mom it’s from anxiety and it’s just fake and made up. Yes, it’s anxiety because of the headaches! I never know when I’m going to get them or what they will ruin next! I’m so sick of being dismissed as crazy or irrational. I’m so sick of my mom not being taken seriously. I’m so sick of it! I’ve been trying to get to a neurologist and audiologist for three years now! I’m done waiting! And I hate having headaches and needing to be rescued. I’m starting to wonder if I should take my dad to my appointments, maybe they’ll listen to him.
i remember right after having my thyroidectomy, i suffered from chest pain the night of. they had warned me going in that i might get blood clots in my chest and so when i experienced pain in that area, i immediately thought “holy shit, these must be blood clots” and was TERRIFIED i was going to die. besides which, the pain was excruciating. i have a pretty high threshold and yet this was leaving me gasping, like literally breathless, in agony. i remember telling them on a scale of 1-10 the pain felt like a 10 (i now know 10 is extreme to the point where you can’t really register anything except the suffering to the point of not being able to even talk - but this was after doing internet research NOT how it was explained to me in the hospital. 10 was explained as “really bad pain” - literally.) anyways, they questioned if it was really that bad which i now get a bit more, but still, it was terrifying to be in such terrible pain and crying because the pain was so bad, and yet they were questioning how bad it was. part of my terror was feeling as if i was just being dismissed. so while part of it was miscommunication even just that taste of my literal suffering and fear getting brushed aside, especially in a place where it’s supposed to be about respecting such things instead of dismissing them, left me mentally wrecked. i used to love hospital shows but now they’re unwatchable - everytime one plays around me i remember that night and it feels as raw as it did then
I WAS LITERALLY JUST TALING ABOUT THIS!!!! I was telling my friend that the whole movie "Blonde" was just an anti abortion ad and a female suffering fetish. Traaaaash Marilyn accomplished so much and not was mentioned in the whole movie. Extremely demeaning and disrespectful.
exactly they painted marilyn as a damsel in distress, they should’ve made the movie about her triumphs and the obstacles she had to go through in the way
Yes so true!! I feel like she was sooo talented and smart and charming, just imagine being in a room with her… Insane! Everyone would gather around to just listen to her talk. That’s the power she held. But they somehow made her look small and weak and like she had no will of her own
@@Las645 idk the way they made the dead baby talk to her, saying shii like “oh, why’d you abort me?” or “you killed me for nothing” made it seem VERY anti-abortion but i understand if you don’t think so 🤷🏽♀️ still a weird asf movie by the end of the day tho
I just finished binge watching shameless again and I have come to appreciate how whenever Fiona is crying it’s never pretty, it’s always a true ugly cry that looks like the pain is coming from her soul. Whenever she’s in her self destructive moments (especially season 9) it is the opposite of sexy. Her pain is never romanticized. Shameless has some short comings but I’m glad they portrayed their female lead’s suffering with respect.
Because men love it. I've been in 2 abusive relationships & had many, many toxic relationships with males & they absolutely love to see women suffer. Gets them off. Makes them feel like "a man" If they can destroy a whole other person, then they must be powerful. It's as simple as that.
@@falconeshieldMy own mother knows I'm pansexual with a stronger preference for women (not non-binary, it obvious she is one of those people who believes in 2 genders🙄) and she is convincing me to give men a try like, fuck her internalized misogyny and homophobia. She want me to be miserable because she is. She clearly refused to accept the fact that I don't HAVE to involve men in my life no more. I'm very attracted to every women I've seen so far more than men.
@@nicatina So true. I'm bi and non-binary (AFAB) with a heavy preference for women, and my mum is always telling me that men are better and I REALLY actually want to be with a man. The average man; no I absolutely do not. I feel bad that a lot of people who are only attracted to men feel like they have to put up with sexism, abuse, dismissiveness, and other shitty things because that's "just how men are" and they'll "die alone" if they don't settle for that. I'm extremely lucky to not be stuck only liking men, which means I can have standards and have good relationships that I don't have to spend the first few years of educating my partner so that they can respect me as an equal human being. I'm disabled and have many health conditions, so I find it very hard to be positive and grateful about my life, but being bi is genuinely something I have always consistently been grateful for.
@@hollow_me_out I'm also non-binary AFAB too (in case anyone misunderstood the first part of my sentence ; I meant my mom doesn't know I am/identifed as non-binary, but she keeps on calling me only woman when I don't only identify myself as that🤦🏽♀️) I had my own internalized biphobia in the past where I think I'm not "bi/pan enough" because I only dated men, so I tried giving women a try, and while it did ended well for me and the girls, I felt nothing for any of them during those times ngl, but my times with men were so traumatic and horrible than that. I can't even tell if any of my attractions for them are romantic/sexual and genuine too or if I only liked the validation given to me. I wish people can also take a bi person with trauma seriously, not assume all bi women who are traumatized by men are suffering from comphet or "going through a phase" to keep excusing misogyny and heteronormativity, and that "we only needed a man after all, you just need to keep looking". 🙄 The awesome fact about being bi/pan is that you can explore a lot of different options you're attracted to. You can date enbys, genferfluids, trans, cis-homos, and not only cishets. I wish we weren't raised to like *only* cishet men and keep on looking for the "right man" after one failed, because what if we weren't born and wired that way to keep looking for more men we don't even like? We're allowed to explore various of other people. I hope you're able to find a great, perfect partner who can be there for you during your darkest times. You deserve to be in a healthy relationship with someone you truly love for their personalities, and never the genders. It okay to have a preference! as long as it comes with personalities. I have a preference for women but it the personality I'm seeking in them! (:
@@nicatina Yeah for sure. I love men, just not the average type. I like unhinged but harmless men, autistic men, feminine men, funny and kind men, trans men, men who are empathetic, bi/pan men, the list goes on. And of course I love all other genders and presentations as well, so it just feels so strange and delusional to me when people will point at an average-ass man who is sexist, selfish, capitalist, homophobic etc. and has little good to offer me, and tells me THAT'S what I really want or need. I'm just gonna do what's good for me and be with people that make me feel good :)
as someone who fits the “troubled, poor girl” stereotype (abuse, depression, drinking problems, among others) i understand showing a perspective but to show that kind of pain just for the sake of entertainment is disturbing and society should be questioning themselves for that. thank you for this video.
I agree. As someone who has struggled with this and likes to channel my emotions through writing, I agree that it's equally important to acknowledge that women should be allowed to express these experiences and perspectives, even if they (hear me out) romanticize them. Perhaps it is problematic, but if it is THEIR pain to romanticize then that's their business, some people need to cope that way. However when people straight up fetishize female pain and want to see women suffering for entertainment, that's more of a disturbing societal issue.
To anyone thinking "perfect blue sounds like a good movie to watch" heads up its one of the most disturbing movies I've ever seen, I wish I had only watched youtube videos about it vs actually watching it. Because it does have really interesting themes and that creepy "is that real or in her mind?" but my god those sexual scenes were really hard to watch
@@falconeshield "Paprika" was actually the one that inspired "Inception". From what i remember, "Perfect Blue" is the one that inspires "Requiem of Dream" and "Black Swan", i think.
wow i never knew that men not believing woman’s pain was for every women. i’ve only read/seen (barely any coverage on this topic in main media) that black women’s pain isn’t believable and isn’t listened as much as white womens pain is therefore more black women die from labor(as in giving birth), heart attacks, etc. great video as always can’t wait to see more 😁❤️
@@nhvkuy4675 well that might be true but it also has to do with racism and classism so it’s not as simple as women let’s support each other unfortunately.
2 points against you if you're a woman and not white. I was limping around with a dislocated tailbone for *5 months* after an assault and NO ONE believed me. By the time it was finally put back in place (even the discovery of it was a fn accident) the damage had become permanent and now I have 9/10 pain everyday for the rest of my life and can only work about 3 hours a week because I need days to recover each time. And this is why I fucking hate people and want to make enough money to buy my own island.
That’s seems like a very simplistic explanation for a very complex situation. I bet race has anything to do with that. I bet men in their 30s die more for labor than men in their 20s for example.
i feel like as a girl i’m guilty of doing this to myself. i never wished to confront it before because i didn’t know how, but i always knew deep down i never took my own pain seriously. even when i feel it, physically, i believe i was conditioned to trivialize that pain immediately because of how i would ‘look to others’ and so naturally i distanced myself from my trauma in a way you’d distance yourself from a character you were playing. i’m working to heal this
Another interesting contrast between Perfect Blue and Idol: Satoshi Kon is able to reflect on his work and acknowledge how he could have improved it. Kon has mentioned in interviews that the rape scene in the movie is too long and more graphic than necessary. A much more introspective outlook than the response of the producers of Idol had to criticism.
One thing I think of, coming from the U.K., is growing up watching Effy on Skins. I so badly wanted to emulate her sadness and suffering because everyone around her in the show seemed to glamourise it and saw it as part of her appeal
i find it really interesting that as the culture "moves away" from gratuitous objectification of women, it just opens the door for (male) filmmakers to do the same thing, more and worse, under the name of 'commentary', this time supposedly exempt from that criticism. i'm also really grateful that you brought up the dismissal of chronically ill women - i've been asked more than once by doctors if i was "having trouble with my boyfriend", when i came to them with severe chronic pain, and throughout my teens, multiple doctors told my parents that they thought i was faking my pain for attention (nb: it was ehlers-danios syndrome). i also think the perfect female victim trope has a real and severe impact on mentally ill girls and women - when i was severely mentally ill as a teenager, i (and others i knew) would drive ourselves worse in an attempt to reach 'beautiful suffering'. it makes me feel gross to think about now, but i actually remember saying "i don't care if it hurts, i want it to be glamorous". the sexualisation of women's pain kills girls !!
There’s a very strong theme of this in great gatsby, Daisy was said to be sad and beautiful (direct quote: ‘Her face was sad and lovely’), there was even a line on how her being sick made her voice more arousing
That work's credit actually goes to the cinematographer, cameramen, set designers, an entire team of lighting experts, make up artists, costume artists especially for euphoria, etc Sam is just a director who is telling people how to act and stuff.
@@RandomSwiftie13 I guess my meaning is that he has good visual taste. Like Steve Jobs didn't design every aspect of the iPhone himself, but he knew how to direct the resources to make it come together.
He’s only good at writing about himself and his struggles with addiction. In Euphoria Rue is a stand in for Sam. Look at the way Rue dresses and acts compared to all the other female characters. It’s very very clever that Sam basically found a way to tell his own story but cast a mixed race woman to do it. One hand I applaud that because people should be able to tell their story through people who don’t look like them but on the other hand, has he ever written a fully fleshed out, more typically female character?
I have no problem with media portraying women who suffer despite money and fame. But what I do have a problem with, is how they execute it. You can display someone dealing with serious issues society inflicts on them but there is a difference between representation and romanticism. Representing means you are fully aware that what you are portraying is a serious issue so you do your best to tell your audience the dangers of such a common situation. Romanticism, however, is displaying a serious issue as something “glamorous” and “unique”. This is what media like ‘The Idol’ and ‘Blonde’ succeed to do. Using real-life issues and portraying them as something positive or good to have. They grab an individual’s actual pain and exploit it for their own disgusting needs. Anyways, sorry for the long comment but I highly appreciate you making this video. I’m writing a character who deals with these kind of problems but portray it as something serious and I’m tired of the media doing this to the suffering.
the saddest part is watching young girls internalise this, make their pain a performance even in moments of suffering think about atleast they look pretty while crying, somehow the fact that their body deteriorating is beautifully fragile, somehow its an essential part of femininity; they’re soo written by lana del rey & the weeknd lol and i understand its because girls often have no other way to cope with these feelings so they romanticise it but it has done sm damage.
I think one of the biggest giveaways if a woman is well written is whether or not they are allowed to be 'ugly'. In so many of the poorly written films, the woman in 'serious pain' might have a single tear roll down her cheek, or be sobbing but somehow still look 'sexy'. Real pain is nowhere near sexy, so if a woman ever appears 'ugly' in a show, it is more real.
Wow that last part about your friend and her ex-husband really made my light bulb flicker. I remember my husband telling me that my scream of pain turned him on. Back story we were at the doctor and the doctor had to reset my shoulder as I have chronic dislocations. The doctor taught my husband how to do it safely and showed him everything about what to do. We had to correct it one time at around 2am. I helped him grab the equipment and he set it back in place. But ya know it's absolutely horrifically painful for an instant and then complete relief. But he told me that my scream turned him on. Like the guy is the sweetest man and the love of my life and has been now for 11 years. But even he... is affected by my suffering like that. Man....
I'm only 18, but I've heard and seen so much already. Even behind the sweetest man hides a monster, and I have a problem seeing men as anything but human. They see us as objects, which thought me to see them as animals. Which is sad, but at the same time, it grands safety.
That's awful! 😭 My brother in law is the exact opposite. My sister has a knee that used to dislocate often. Every time he saw my sister in pain he felt sick and wanted to help. One time my sister fell down the stairs and her knee dislocated. My brother in law saw and heard that, and fainted. He absolutely cannot stand to see other people in pain. I think that's way more normal reaction. I personally don't trust any man that gets excited from seeing w/0men in pain, that's a HUGE red flag 😬
We're literally dropping young girls into "simulated" brutality and asking the world to gawk at it, but hey at least the men have something to get off to🤷🏻♀ p.s. would love to see you do a whole video on Perfect Blue!
The funniest observation I have ever read about sam Levinson is that he rarely depicts characters climaxing during sex acts, kind of interesting to think about.
Damn…I don’t even sure what to say…when everything is displayed this way it just hurts to realize that living as a woman my experiences (especially painful ones) were disregarded like it was nothing… “you will learn to live with it” kinda bs
This is also what the movie Priscilla will be. The world loves a beautiful, suffering woman. There's nothing glamorizable or beautiful about an ugly woman's suffering, but the world expects it all the same. People expect women to suffer, to be unhappy, to sacrifice to lose. Man's suffering is catastrophic, violent, ugly, and destructive because its an abnormality. It's not supposed to be. Something must be wrong with society. But a women's suffering is the statement of the female nature. I could list the myriad of ways you see this in social media, happy women get. They can't thrive on it.
@@Ronsquaremy Exactly. And they have unique struggles, but they make their own CHOICES whether to compromise with their situation or fight it. They’re not portrayed as innocent victims, despite being marginalized.
Great video! This subject has been festering in me for the longest time because it feels like even if we can easily call out The Idol for the long winded p0rn0 that it is, the beautification of women’s bodies and romanticization of our pain doesn’t actually feel shaken. We keep being the subject of men’s commentary and are still expected to look pretty through it all. It makes me frustrated because I can see women internalize the “aesthetic” of being a woman and that’d include myself. It’s like we’re all under a spell we can’t break but we know it’s there…
i was maybe 9 when i decided i wanted to be that beautiful tormented woman i would see in different medias. 9 year old me thought that that would get me help, that that would make people really understand how much trauma and mental turmoil i was going through. that idea stayed with me for at least another 7 years. i spent years of my life trying to present my suffering in a way that was beautiful and fitting for an audience. but at the end of the day, no one cared. it was for nothing, all of it. it never amounted to anything. it feels so stupid to think how much of my life i spent being ashamed of my hurt. I'm doing much better now. no thanks to the trope of fetishising a female in pain tho.
I think my mom said it best, in the middle of a particularly corny scene when she said "Damn, this show would be completely unwatchable if Lily Rose was just half as beautiful."
As a kid I would put on heavy makeup and pretend to cry in front of the mirror until the makeup ran because I was affected by all these scenes. Yeah maybe seems harmless but it means I had already internalized as a kid that quietly suffering was an integral part of beauty and womanhood
I didn’t start recognizing this until way later in life. The brutality of this topic is difficult. I didn’t recognize because I was so accustomed to it being the norm for myself and the women around me.
I remember someone pointing out how at the same time as amber heard released a new film, johnny depps daughters project is released and we learn that a show about a victim of a cult and domestic violence was changed into a show about a beautiful young star who turns out to be "the abuser.” And his daughter was celebrating him at Cannes, and saying nice things about him, after years of avoiding public statements with or about him- and while at Cannes get a 9 minute standing ovation for her show. a show that almost everyone hates, and doesn't seem worthy of the buzz caused by the Cannes ovation. especially considering the power her dad has in the film industry, and the power disney and other companies who stand to lose a lot of money if depps reputation is lost.
This made me realize smtg 2 years ago I went to the doctor because of depression and anxiety. I didn’t sleep well at all during that time. When I talked to the doc about the how I felt horrible, he didn’t and me seriously at all. He even seemed sarcastic when he responded to me. He didn’t even give me medicine to help or anything. I’m not sure if it was because he didn’t take my pain seriously as a women but idk it really shook me.
Ngl I do find The Idol sinister because of how and why the plot and character changed. Jocelyn became a less fleshed out character than her abuser, and we'll never get to see what it originally could've been because the weekend found it "too feminist"
The Haunting of Hill House and Hereditary are my favourite in the topic of female suffering. No romanticization, pure mental health thrown in the garbage, raw and pure that shows how just because you're an attractive woman it doesn't mean you're a dying flower, if anything, you're more like a dangerous individual like anyone else. In one case you have a mother and a mother who's alredy mentally fragile going insane under the weight of life and family, on the other a family in which the daughters are miserable and traumatized and put up a strong facade because they have responsabilities and lives to attend to, one brother who's skeptical about anything and the other destroyed by their life. No glamour, no frivolous stuff, just ordinary and genuinely relatable. In fact people call both movies boring. An AMAZING movie about the objectification of women is Incident In a Ghostland. A psychological horror touching on the delicate process of becoming a woman and how the world starts perceiving you because of it, plus the trauma that comes from the horror themes treated in the movie that for a woman are, other than relatable, straight up uncomfortable. I loved every second of it even when it made my skin crawl in disgust. That's a movie that wants to critique something, not one in which you get beautiful women crying their mascaras out and smiling for a camera. A movie about Marilyn could have been so much more interesting if it got treated as a documentary instead of showing us her crying and being what she was not. She was a completely normal human being outside of the show, her moves weren't hers, but the product of an image that Hollywood forced on her even criticizing the fact that for them her mouth was too close to her nose and she needed fix even how she talked. That's disgusting alredy, to know that a woman to be perceived as beautiful needed to become a marionette ignoring her own being. Be yourself, but only the small amount that doesn't destroy the character you need in order to be appreciated by the world. We live in a period of time in which both men and women are suffering, yet on a side you get men in the media portrayed as dumb creatures with two emotions and the personality of either an abuser or a loser, on the other women who are either girl bosses or these tormented beauty queens.
recently i’ve been rewatching mad men and i don’t know what the reception was at the time but i feel like joan’s rape by her fiancé/husband is somewhere in this sphere. they took the one female character that’s confident and in control and had her raped. it annoys me. i haven’t finished the season and don’t remember if the story line redeems itself but it just felt so unnecessary. there are other ways of throwing your female characters a curveball
I’ve watched it and no, not really. Most of it so far has been about how to drive the male MC goals and motivation, all the way to the typical Lost Lenore death which she had no female friends and is centured around her love for one guy. The writer didn’t credit or compensate the mother and her dead daughter they based off [spoiler character] story of after she already complained about those chapters in the manga. Which you, you guessed, was mainly used to further the male MC’s talents and creditibility. You can argue say the writer was making a spectacle of the original Terrance House incident. Don’t get me wrong, its a great show and the characters are not poorly written either. But it feels like a slightly (incredibly slightly) better take on Hitchcock’s story where the girl’s stories and backgrounds are vessels to show how a guy can save them from perils and clutches of the entertainment industry. While it touches on some topics better than others, and the girls are not poorly written compared to other shounen, but its either grazed at or just use to drive the guy’s story that the girls are plot devices for. Maybe that will change in S2 but I wouldn’t jump the gun saying “its even better”. Its just alright that has a lot of hype because its written to appeal to shounen audience. There is a reason you hear about it more than say, Perfect Blue, which OP’s channel is the first I heard mention so frequently. To add on, Oshi No Ko got more hype than the male counterpart shows that have already devolved far more into the entertainment industry in general before Oshi No Ko because of how much female suffering is also a spectle in the anime community and when the media targeted towards guys, its more socially acceptable to watch. Similar to how the Idol found the feminist perspective something to discard.
Here is the best summary of The Idol possible written by myself: The Idol wanted to be All That Jazz and failed miserably because instead of demonizing the main male character's sexism and showing how it causes pain to all parties involved, it fetishizes it and shows that you can be a cruel person to women and still get your way.
Unfortunately, there are more than a few Hollywood producers who are of the same mindset as Levinson, which means we can expect even more of this kind of sexually exploitative (and decidedly sophomoric) content.
im a writer and my dream is to make movies, im writing one rn that focus more on boys, but i had some ideas about a story of a woman with severe bipolar disorder and this topic of female suffering sexualization came to my mind, and i thought how funny it is that they sell us beautiful people to represent our ugly sadness, so currently its hard to break my way through writing this bipolar woman without this "hot-sad-female recepie" and i have to say that your video helped me so much!!! i started to notice more how i act "steriotypical feminine" all the time even alone and i have a hard time finding out who i am because i don't feel femninine no matter what i do, and honestly this was a good help, breaking patterns in cinema its important for many women who feel like they need to be something that they aren't
another show that could be talked about here is pam and tommy - taking a true story and exploiting it to capitalize off of it. i didn't watch it in it's entirety, but seeing the way their relationship was romanticized... shook me.
in the mainstream renderings of female suffering and even female rage, none ever communicates to me the injustice that exists there. the gaze doesn't allow for that, maybe because if you let the audience feel the injustice underlying the suffering, you're gonna have to offer more than a gaze and a lot of (male) filmmakers are not willing to stretch their imagination past their own fantasies and that's on that. consume instead: PORTRAIT OF A LADY ON FIRE and the will to change by bell hooks & the like
honestly. it’s male filmmakers reluctance to explore the female psyche that makes me wonder if they’re using their “lack of empathy” to further their own personal agendas.. all with the intention to do it undetected, and without being held accountable for their perverted interpretations of the women they have access to on (and even off) screen
@@kateunder2399 I don’t mean it as a knock to the creator, but to the people that directed this female suffering. They want it to be sexualized, and of course, chose blonde white women to represent it
Thank you SOOOO much for this video. Perfect Blue is one of my favorite movies, and when watching The Idol, I couldn’t help but draw direct comparisons to it. Also, I will be checking out Helter Skelter. Thanks for the recommendation.
It hurts. It hurts to live in a society where this is the norm. It hurts, because whenever I mention that it hurts men tell me there are greater problems and some women, blinded by the patriarchy, agree with that. And no wonder it hurts so much, if those evil creatures fetishize our pain. They are doing everything in their power for it to hurt more
I'm new to your channel. So incredible. I honor your insightfulness. I have not really explored this concept. It gets extremely difficult as a trans woman who came out in her 60's. I am always struggling with this fear that I am appropriating womanhood (self-doubt?). I suppose that makes me sound like a terf? I watch this video and ask myself have I ever really understood the plight of women? I really am afraid of a 'how dare you' confrontation - and yet I feel I have no real choice. I have always found the male gaze disgusting. Hegemonic as you called it - rather awful - I guess I say this in my defense. You can count on one thing - I will definitely be asking myself a whole new set of questions.
I just want you to know that I support trans women (and trans people in general) on my channel, and that I do not believe you are appropriating womanhood. Womanhood can be so complicated to navigate. 💖
@@FinalGirlStudios Thank you. I have to confront my fears honestly. I think what triggered me was a poem by Anne Sexton In Celebration of My Uterus, I found it incredibly painful to read as a trans woman. She's becoming one of my favorite poets.
I love this video essay and pretty much everything you post! I will say, I always kind of felt like perfect blue was trauma porn/pain fetishizing in the same way that blonde/Cassie from euphoria. Idk I don't know if I'll ever get why people like that movie
i had been thinking about an example where a male character is suffering, written and directed by a woman…and all i can think of are great shows that helped me even tho the mc wasn’t the same gender as i was. one example that comes to mind is a silent voice. we see the suffering, we feel it and we understand it, but never had to see the guy crying, jerking off or asking to be violated by someone. it just doesn’t exist the other way around. i never thought of female suffering as being fetishized and now that i realize just how true that is it’s kind of gross…i think even i have fell into that hole of thinking that being a woman is purely painful no matter what as if that was part of existence as opposed to a made up reality that was crafted for us to feel that pain.
I know it’s not really the point of your essay, but I’m left thinking how this also applies to the superhero genre, so to speak. Specifically in the MCU films (and the comic books they adapt), they’ve based the stories for the Black Widow, Captain Marvel, the Scarlet Witch, Nebula and Gamora, or She Hulk recently, in their suffering. And while there are male characters that have also suffered in one way or the other, it’s usually not shown and portrayed in the same way. What I mean by that is that even on a genre that caters to a potential younger audience and that tells stories about literal super beings… the female ones can’t avoid intense personal suffering, and their power often derive from it. Idk, maybe I digress (I work with superhero comic books, so I guess I can’t help it) Anyways, great video, as always. It’s so soothing to hear you so perfectly put into words what I’ve been feeling for so long.
I have a pain disease and the story you told about your friend who was going through a divorce, who said that her husband found it arousing when she cried really reminds me of my ex boyfriend. He told me, that he couldn't help but find it incredibly arousing when I was in pain. At the time I kind of didn't realize how horrible that is to say to someone and it's by far not the only thing that clearly overstepped a lot of boundaries of what is okay. But I still, 3 years later, think about this sometimes. I get that some people find it hot when their Partner is in pain during Sex and my ex definitely was one of those people. But it was the first time I heard someone say, that a woman experiencing an illness, that makes her feel incredible pains, can be arousing.
Loved it! It can be overwhelming how in retrospective this tipe of shows have influenced in our lives and our perspective on ourselves as females. Sometimes I get to dissociate to the point I don't recognize myself on the mirror and it's painful to feel like my own body has been robbed to me by the opinion and representation of others. Greating from Colombia:3
This was a great video. I loved hearing different perspectives on The Idol and this is probably one of the best ones I've seen so far since it isn't just a blow by blow of the plot, which though quite fun gets repetitive after the 10th video. Can't wait to see more videos from you!
Also I am apologizing in advance for the annoying censoring 😔 it’s the only way to work around RUclips’s strict guidelines. If it gets confusing and you really don’t know what I said at any point, the uncensored transcript is public on my Substack!
Edit: If you have any suggestions on how to better work around censorship let me know! I hate it too trust me. I know Mina Le often will substitute words like “sex” with “snacks” but I think that could also get confusing if I substitute too many words, also it could get trickier with words like “eroticization”. Let me know what you think!☺️
It's okay. I love your videos btw. I'm 15 and your videos have honestly made me think a lot about society and the way that they treat us girls and women. It would be cool if you could make a topic on misogynoir as well.
I love big words and saying them, they make me feel fancy…but anyways ur completely fine!
if it, wasn,t sam levinson involment it would be woke, female prespective means complaining about men wrriting them being bad, women showing their massage in our throuts at least this wasn,t woke just a bad show
jak ada
what does that mean@@joannekett4156
The fact that the show was originally meant to be about how female celebrities and artists are exploited in the entertainment industry and then Sam Levinson and The Weeknd took over and scrapped the original story because it was “too feminist & female gazy" really speaks volumes on how they view us girls and women. And I’m saying this as someone who's a minor 😬
please refrain from revealing your age on the internet
I’m glad that you can realize this that young. Please take care of yourself ❤
@@watchcloudspassmeby Thank you. I come from a conservative culture and a lot of the things that some of my family members are are incredibly misogynistic and sexist so yeah. I know a lot of things
Well it should be satire on the celebrities and Hollywood first of all
@@flamingaishThey didn't even say their exact age 😂
Heaven forbid a show about a woman have “too much” of a female perspective. 🙄
Insatiable is one
*the weeknd forbid
The Weeknd is weak af for saying that.
OoOoOoOoO scaryyy female perspective (i imagine this is the weeknd's thought process)
@@sarabiqueen3642God, I loved Insatiable so much 😢 I was and still am furious that it was canceled because ppl got offended by it 🙄🙄 and they say we're the ones who get offended by everything...
This video reminds me of that one study that shows that it takes women twice as long to die as men in slashers, and females are shown in terror for longer periods of time than males. 😬
Ahhh I wish I would have remembered to include this! That’s such a good point
I don’t understand This can you explain?
@@lovelylanafansweetie4240in movies there is usually a long sequence of women being hurt and frightened for a while before they die in a creative way while male character’s almost always die immediately. kinda like how in real life unfortunately women are left alive for a long time before they are killed to be tortured and raped first
@@sambanks9670Where do you think men learn that? Even to stalk women in alleyways. It's always movies and TV shows. Though they're supposed to save the woman, not be the perpetrators.
theres also a disgusting correlation between horror movies and sexual assault scenes. almost always, there is no point for it to be in the movie and is there for shock value.
Many times I've heard men say shit like "girls with BPD give the best head" or "girls who self-harm are the kinkiest" and that you should go for 'crazy girls' for hookups for these reasons but never be with them for an actual relationship. Shit like that is ridiculously dehumanising and diminishes our experiences, trauma, and health conditions to how men can benefit from our suffering and what sexual pleasure they can derive from it.
Yeah and that's fucking sick. If a girl who self-harms or has BPD is taken advantage of and used, they could end up being in a worse state or commit suicide
>and that you should go for 'crazy girls' for hookups for these reasons but never be with them for an actual relationship
I literally felt my heart broke as I read this. I had SO MANY GUYS in my teen years as a bpd girl who "loved" me, but I was only there to feed their egos. I wrote a vent poem about it and when I showed it to my only trusted male friend he said he laughed out loud.
@@angelicgirl888 I'm so sorry that happened to you, my heart breaks for you. I really hope you're being treated better these days x
@@angelicgirl888 fuck those guys
@@angelicgirl888 You deserve a man who truly loves and accepts you and doesn't just fetishize ur mental illness
Even the thumbnail speaks volumes. So sick of how exacerbated this trope has become
Isn’t the same with men tho?
@@kant.68male suffering is better depicted because most who write about the subject actually care about the perspective they’re trying to write from, so sadly no it’s not the same. (unless ur talking bout sumthing else)
@@bluud6
We shouldn’t be expecting blockbusters to make deep dive analysis of someone’s psyche.
If you wanna see female suffering accurately depicted watch European cinema, russian cinema, independent films. To say this isn’t a thing is disingenuous. It has been accurately depicted for decades. And yes movies can romanticize male and female suffering . Do you think Requiem for a Dream, Fight Club, The Pianist and even Spiderman 2 or comics like Batman haven’t don’t romantize male suffering? Literally Rambo is about an ex viet veteran with PTSD. Rocky is about an italian lowlife who is a loser but wants to make it big in a fight he knows 100% he will loose . Countless COUNTLESS movies both accurately depicted or romanticize male and female suffering. In equal numbers.
Romantic Comedies tackle female emotional turmoils and that’s 100% female. I don’t know what you’re complaining about
@@kant.68 ?
Your videos give me goosebumps…hard hitting and incredibly well written 👏👏👏
i shivered with the husband telling your friend to stop crying because it aroused him
There are a disturbing number of songs around the theme of a woman being pretty when she cries.
amongst friends I hear it to be soooo common
yeah i literally had to stop the video for a sec, that shit freaks me out so much. How little empathy does a man have to have
@@ValerieEnriquez 2000s emo music
That was one of those things that unsettled me about my ex, somehow his mood always improved when I was crying.
there's a wonderful quote by Madeline Miller, wrote in her book "Circe", that really resonate with the whole video :
"It seems that punishing women is the favorite pastime of poets. As if there could be no story unless we crawl around crying..."
Circe was the og superwoman
Loved that book
I never finished blonde, I got 30 mins or so in and realized how disgusting it was that they were just destroying Marilyn’s image once more with sex and suffering once more and I turned it off.
Same, it was so HARD to continue watching.
Same I couldn't continue it too
They also made a lot of things up 😊
I did finish it, and feel like I need financial compensation from the shit director of it.
You spared yourself from the worst of it
I had a conversation with my (male) roomate that reminds me of this phenomenon of men feeling the need to communicate the often predatory nature of man to women. The conversation many young girls have with their fathers that sounds like “I was a boy once I know what they think, I know how they are”. We don’t need men explaining the nature of predation to us… most of us are very aware of this behavior from personal experience. However men who assume this behavior of all of their fellow men don’t realize that they are wrong it’s not in man’s nature to prey upon, hurt or exploit women, that’s an issue they need to confront within themselves.
Geez, even male birds are kind to their females. Hell, THEY dress up for THEM, and the female can refuse a mating call. Nature does this. NATURE!
@@falconeshield lol this reminds me of that one bird species that fluff up their feathers and do a little dance to attract mates.
“I was a boy once I know what they think, I know how they are”. I'm glad that, despite his faults, my dad never said this to me. I would have lost trust in him. You mean to tell me you were/are the kind of person you're telling me is a danger?
My father has that chat with me very often, and yet is the first to cry out "not all men!" when he hears anything feminist come out of my mouth
A thief assumes everyone steals. Ironically places that espouse what fathers and other men say have SAs more and poor gender equality compared to places with less frequency, saying this with personal experience. Its almost as if the mentality fails to keep men properly accountable and deflects the responsibility to girls and women instead. Its a perpetuating cycle.
The Idol’s construction reminded me of a phenomena I’ve noticed of certain men’s desire to derive power from humiliating / disempowering women they feel are out of reach to them (be it because of her beauty, her accomplishments, her class, what she represents to him).
Jocelyn’s framework as a character almost entirely borrows from the public staples of Lily-Rose Depp, herself: a wealthy, sensual, elusive woman, who because of her upbringing feels inaccessible (even her styling borrows from Lily’s it-girl persona, with the smoking and Chanel glasses). With Cassie in Euphoria, it felt like the show was humiliating a type of woman that Sam Levinson both lusts and resents. With The Idol, there is so little differentiation between Jocelyn and Lily-Rose, conceptually, that the humiliation of the character feels specific to Lily-Rose. I respect the fact that Lily-Rose Depp has been very clear that she felt really safe and supported on set, but that was still how the show read to me.
Thank you for saying this because I’ve also noticed this but never knew how to put it into words
Glad to know it wasn't just me picking up on the humiliation kink.
When I was watching the show, I didn’t feel like I was watching Jocelyn’s nude body, violent sex and sexualisation, I felt like I was watching Lilly rose’s. I was so shocked, the whole time I was just thinking how the hell she was ok with this, I’m glad she was and I’m glad she felt safe but it read as humiliation porn against Lilly, not Jocelyn. I hate how her tits and ass were constantly out and I hate how she was wearing tiny little dresses while she was being fucked and spanked and in pain. It made me sick. She never wore anything that truly covered her body, I was hoping in her concert when she finally regained some power she’d wear something that covered her head to toe, but even her dress was see through
It became clear to me that Cassie was an expression of Levinson's resentment and sexism when even her own mother turned on her for "dating her friend's boyfriend" even though they were "broken up" and expresses zero concern about Nate's history of abuse and protecting her daughter. Frankly, parents love their children and will tend to see things from their perspective. It's totally unbelievable that her basically loving if alcoholic mom would call her a whore to her face while she's already having a breakdown. AND her mom is portrayed as CORRECT AND GOOD to do so. It's fucking gross.
The whole girl fight aspect of the show was so fucking sexist and stupid, portraying them as catty violent idiots instead of full people with interiority.
It's amazing how men loved Dolly Parton, Fran Dresher, Lucy Lawless, Elvira. They could never have them.
About problems in medical field... Dismissing female pain and humanity is such a huge thing in OBGYN. Men would never take such abuse as women do on a regular basis as patients. And Noone ever even speaks about it. It's all so vile and disgusting
especially with blk women
@@MzLa1989See: Ms Bowie
If you speak about it you just get accused of making it up for attention/pills/etc so I learned to become my own doctor and I do a better job than they do.
For real I’ve had male doctors not use lube and ram stuff into me and act like I was a baby for reacting, as well as not being believed many times when I needed urgent care
@@4ngelvenomutterly horrendous behaviour. Don't take crap from any male ob/gyn!!! never accept that treatment because it is unnecessary and unacceptable.
The more I think about it, I’m not no longer surprised that the weekend would say the show at first had a “feminist perspective” when in his song Lost In The Fire” one of his lyrics is “you said you might get into girls, said you’re going through a phase keeping your heart safe. Well maybe you can bring a friend, she can ride on top your face, while I fuck you straight.” And people were shocked and disgusted about how it’s basically fetishizing lesbians.
We're really forgetting his Kavinsky collab from 2011? Dude is obsessed with threesomes
Literally it's so biphobic it's so sad 'cause the song is otherwise good, I always have to jump forward 10 seconds lol
woah.. wont be listening to his music anymore
I mean his lyrics have been disgusting and sexist for forever
@@Stanzaawashere True
when you said “is this the barbarism black women must endure to be seen?” touched me so hard because people brush it off and it’s so prevalent in our society today.
The brilliant words of Robin Jennings! Their full essay that I quoted is linked in my description if you’re interested in reading the full thing 💖
@@FinalGirlStudiosthe answer to that question is YES and even then you'll still be quickly forgotten
Watching this I have recalled all the times I stood in front of the mirror while I was crying and thought that I look pretty, or the times I took a "crying selfie" because I thought I looked good while crying. Even in the moments of pain women monitor themselves through the lens of the male gaze. Great video btw.
I believe you also touched on this in the video, but sadness or pain are seen as inherently feminine traits as they're fetishized in women but seen as embarassing or weak when experienced by men
@@zuzannakielar I wonder if it becomes fetishized to see women express pain externally for the men that cant
Fuck I just realised that I do this
ok now I get why Instagram started to flood with crying selfies.....and when I say Instagram I really should say young women
@@mozorellastick2583 me too...
You know what hurts me most about all these fetishisms of women sadness? It makes it insignificant. Like hey it's fun on the movie screen and tv shows that your abused. It's even romantic. That just doesn't help us, the fact that they don't see it as an issue but something to turn it to some sort of entertainment most often in a sexualway.
Right like if your commentary isn’t helping GUVE somebody else the mic bro 🙄
it's awful how many men I've met who actually have fetishized female pain to a point where they don't even notice it. They see a woman in pain and literally get aroused by it. They may view as their "kink" but like...they don't ever ask where it came from?!
I agree, i have tattoos & piercings and ive had guys approach me multiple times with emo/goth girl kinks being vulgar and assuming that i like pain and that im kinky because of my body mods. Ive also heard multiple men make comments about how women with nose rings are crazy/kinky. Our physical and emotional pain is fetishized in so many ways it makes my head spin.
It's quite disgusting when you really sit and think about it. Makes ME not trust any Man who finds female pain and suffering hot.
It comes from p*rn
@@lauren8152THIS! It's so weird, I have extensive tattoos on my left side of my body and visible piercings. My Instagram is mostly showing off my Barbie and 80s/90s toy collection, so pretty PG stuff. You can clearly see my tattoos and piercings in my Instagram photos and I do get a lot of young girls commenting saying my tattoos are cool (I have a bunch of Sanrio, 90s cartoons and 90s anime tatts). I've had to block, delete comments, and straight up take down certain posts because the crazy men will literally hop their crazed female pain obsessed a*$es in my DM's/comments and message/comment the most disgusting, depraved things to me. I had one dude literally kept commenting how I was a bad little girl and he was going to punish me and take my toys away! I'M LIKE ARE YOU F_*KING FOR REAL RIGHT NOW! GET OUT OF HERE! Blocked him immediately.
I'm guessing it's a type of sadism? Idk though. Fetishizing, specifically, female pain, never sits right with me. Makes me creeped out lowkey.
The fact that we could've gotten an accurate, female gazey representation, but instead we got The Weekend's fetishy power fantasy 😭
Ik like why did they let a horny kid like the weekend take over a show that talks about a serious issue like what did anyone expect was gonna happen😭
Marilyn guts me, the way she was an amazing person reduced to a sex symbol in her death going as far as having people to be buried face down above her.
Especially the countless rumors of her body going missing for hours when she was supposed to be transported to the mortuary.
I thought that 'Perfect Blue' was such a well made film and I believe Sarah Hankins explanation of how uncomfortable Mima's pain is to watch was described perfectly.
The difference is that Perfect Blue centres on what the protagonist was actually feeling.
We see her as a human and the difference between her true self and her artistic persona.
The Idol treats Jocelyn as a tool. As meat.
Sexy, crazy, damaged, the new Cassie.
@@Winter-Alpha-OmegaAlmost like Sam can only write one character with one hand
@@falconeshield Omg, that's something that can actually happen.
Perfect Blue is actually make me uncomfortable, but kept me watching because it's good. Mima's pain and struggle were potrayed very real. Like, watching a train wreck you cannot look away from.
@@absolutelynotellen For real.
I _felt_ like I was Mina. I felt like the framing and story led me to feel as if I were her.
It's been a while since I've watched that film, but I remember there was the famous back bath scene, in which she was like submerged in the bath and she screamed below the water. It truly made me feel her dejection and just plain hopelessness.
Or when she's being raped for the video/media thingy (I believe she was shooting a film). I genuinely felt uncomfortable and as if I were there, lying down and being attacked.
The Idol is the contrary. We're always invited to look at Jocelyn, not to empathise with her.
We're always like observing or gazing at her, as if she were a pig's leg in a butcher shop.
And I feel like the story makes us put ourselves in the place of Te-something, not her.
I swear to god I've seen pornography that makes me feel more connected emotionally to the characters than this show.
I feel so much happier now, because I never watched Euphoria. That show seemed like another edgy, dark for the sake of being dark, exaggerated wannabe yankee soap opera, the likes of Mexican or Filipino ones, but with way more budget.
As a man, this video made me examine my perspective on women's portrayal in media. I never realized how women's suffering was being fetishized for the screen; it's horrifying. I hope this trend will one day end, but something tells me that it won't.
Still, thank you for listening.
Thank you for listening, you're a good man.
❤❤❤❤
As A MaN" and you expect azzpats for this, and ofc here come some handmaidens to give them to you. You are not special and your opinion on women's suffering means less than nothing.
the fetishization seems so obvious when you combine all these scenes of beautiful women looking so beautiful while crying. makes women to believe that happiness makes them less attractive. great video!
Okay, the thumbnail explains why the frequent female suffering never sat right with me. Thank you for this.
Why? Wanna hear your point to see if it is the same feeling as mine 🤔
@@natalieoliveira578hey’re romanticised, we look at them like beautiful statues not humans who are in pain. Women’s pain is turned into beauty, there’s nothing beautiful about a woman experiencing pain, there’s nothing beautiful about anything or anyone in pain, ever
@@Ks-101 fr
@natalieoliveira578 i can't remember which movie this was in, but they showed the sexual harassment of a woman for an extended period of time, which after a point just felt like it was being glorified as this oh no a woman is suffering and it is so sad but beautiful, i couldn't explain the feeling until one of my male friend's suggested it might be because of how frequently they repeated the scene (there wasn't much censorsing) and also how ut was potrayed with angles similar to that of erotic scenes between a couple, i could never quiet explain it in one sentence until i saw the thumbnail and the title of this video. Which just made so much sense as to why it irked me whenever i remembered it. Hope this was helpful.
Edit: absolutely right about the other comment in this thread, that no one's pain is ever beautiful. There is pain that we feel empathy for, but never someone's pain that should give us happiness.
@@rachelk8661 got it
something ive also noticed is how cinema treats sexual violence towards women, the way rape is portrayed as either a "rebirth" in making the classic femme fatale-esque type who goes off on this revenge story. or on the contrary the "victim". the woman in this case needs to be saved, needs to be treated as fragile, and its shown in all it's brutality (in a fetishized portrayal). i can't think of a specific scene right now but i hope you get my point. the woman in this scenario is not seen as a human being with human feelings, but instead is subjected to being turned into a "hot" or "sexy" sad woman.
It depends on the movie. For example, rape happens so many times in Death Wish movies it becomes a bad joke. In Red Sonya, it's necessary but only bad takes make the prologue 'empowering'. It's not for nothing people still love Queen Bodicca despite her losing on the battlefield.
Oh yeah, i realized that. Most female characters in fictions i saw often experiencing any type of abuse in order for them to got a "character development". They gotta experience s3xual ass4ult, getting cheated on by their partner, abused/mistreated....like, wtf is going on??
they also make women characters get r3ped or abused for the man to get character development from it or make it the man’s origin story
So what other scenario FOR A MOVIE MEANT TO ENTERTAIN are you suggesting ?
@kant.68 did you just imply that women being raped in film is entertaining? Like literally anything else would be more entertaining.
For a pop star, the name "Jocelyn" isn't catchy, also i somehow not surprised that the one that end up playing as the main girl in the show is Lily Rose Depp. Honestly, The Idol could have been a great show about satire of struggle of female celebrities and artists in the entertainment industry. Until Sam Levinson and The Weeknd took over 🤦🏻♀️ they even said that, the show was too female gazed so they scraped over to become a straight up p0rn wtf. Everytime Levinson came around, he always ended up destroying it. 💀
Fr Jocelyn was a weird name to choose hahaha
@@FinalGirlStudios from the name to her styling and music, non of it even screams someone that knows what would sell as a popstar. If you're going to create a fake celebrity at least make it believable that they would be successful irl.
Why you are not surprised with Lily Rose playing this role? Idk if you meant something else
@@natalieoliveira578 idk. I felt like because she fits to the role a lot? I felt like she doesn't have any "iconic" aura and the charisma to potray such a popstar character. Not to mention, i only know her for being Depp and Paradis' daughter.
@@absolutelynotellen oh yeah
You're right
I have to drop everything whenever you post and mentally prepare myself to: a) feel more in touch with embracing myself as my own muse, b) fall in love with absolutely wondrous yet horribly wronged women and c) find new men to loathe.
Hahaha I sent ur comment to my bestie bc it made me laugh and she was like “I just know whoever commented this is a baddie” 💅🏻
so truee!!the intellectual and emotional impact is insane
FR
Would love to hear any "embracing yourself as your own muse" tips that you might might have~
c) find new men to loathe?????? Really??
I worked at a pizza shop in my early 20's. I had a male co-worker tell me I should package and sell my "pretty girl tears". He said he knew a ton of men that would buy women's tears!!!! I told my boss and other higher-ups and I was the one that was fired. Men can really suck. edit: because I forgot to mention that this is brilliant. Keep going 💜
That’s so gross. But on the bright side , at least you’re no longer in that creepy environment.
Whoa it's crazy they fired you for that, but probably better for you to work elsewhere!!
I wonder if this is related to what men mean when they accuse women of having a victim complex-- that femininity is entwined with suffering in their minds, and in fact in women's minds, too. It does almost feel natural and feminine to suffer, as much as I'm disgusted with myself for thinking this-- like in Lana Del Rey songs or with the last girl trope in horror movies; suffering is the most feminine thing you can do. I don't want to suffer but I can see myself in that role so easily and there's sort of a romantic gloss over it that's hard to get rid of. Even true crime obsession-- so often focused on conventionally attractive women being brutally murdered, and mostly consumed by women-- are we acting on this? Affirming to our own minds the goodness and femininity of the victims and condemning the murderers simultaneously?
The last girl trope is the opposite of that tho, it’s empowering seeing women become triumphant over a great evil, I don’t see how thats a harmful trope. It’s always been one of my favorites
I would like to mention tuberculosis impacting beauty standards in the Victorian times. Being frail and pale was the essence of feminine beauty, while woman's attractiveness was also a 'way to judge' how likely she was to suffer from TB in the future.
@@Las645 I think the trope evolved. It started with the "pure virgin" surviving by running away while screaming, but later many final girls survive by putting on their badass face and winning by fighting and being smart. It really depends on the movie.
@@Las645 Arguably the reason the last girl trope exists it to get more time watching a beautiful woman being terrorized, chased, screaming, clothes torn, groped, hit, crying, raped, tortured, etc. The writers of Terrifier 2 wrote a female character being hung upside down and then cut in half starting at her crotch, all while she's alive, so I don't think they where including a last girl main protagonist as a salute to feminism.
Obviously some movies choose to empower the last girl at the end and let her get away, traumatized but alive. Others don't. Regardless of whether she's empowered to survive or slowly brutalized to death, I do think the fact that so many women enjoy the trope-- myself included-- does actually support the idea that suffering and femininity are entwined. Her feminineness is affirmed by her extreme suffering. It's hard to imagine a male scream queen equivalent for this reason-- screaming, crying, terrorized men aren't considered entertaining tv for the most part.
It breaks my heart everyday that pain is so sexualized. Sex is not supposed to hurt, and it's sad that people (especially young people) think it's supposed to.
That's why i love arcane.
Female suffering is ugly in that show. Noone wants Jinx. They want Powder (outside of silco because os his suffering and making it into a grand thing)
Arcane makes it clear that its not supposed be this way. Show wants us to want these charecters to do well.
If Jinx turns out to have killed everyone except Mel and Hammer guy (she was implied to have had armour hologram on her back, probably her mom's doing) there's no filter like Azula and Ozai. There's only Jinx, and Vi would have to accept her little sister is gone.
This topic reminded me of an excerpt I read from John Berger's “Ways of Seeing." It goes like this;
"A woman must continually watch herself. She is almost continually accompanied by her own image of herself. Whilst she is walking across a room or whilst she is weeping at the death of her father, she can scarcely avoid envisaging herself walking or weeping. From earliest childhood, she has been taught and persuaded to survey herself continually. And so she comes to consider the surveyor and the surveyed within her as the two constituent yet always distinct elements of her identity as a woman."
The hunger I have for more Femme directors to portray women's pain, hell, women through a Humanizing lens is ravenous at this point. That is why I'm over the moon to watch Barbie. Thank you so much for this video love, your content restores my hope.
Exactly! Often when I’m crying in my room (alone) I will go to the bathroom to check if I was still pretty and presentable. Wtf? Why do I do that? I’m crying alone? Why do I need to look presentable. It sucks how I see my own suffering and emotions through the male gaze.
how will the barbie movie humanize women more lmao
@@nexialiist Well, upon watching the movie I can proudly confirm that Barbie not only humanized women, but the movie also humanized men through a lens that acknowledges how the patriarchy oppresses us and perpetuates the very issues this video touched on... So if your comment was intended to make fun of the expectations I had for this movie, then I'm afraid you've failed...
@@savvy3tv632 I resonate so deeply with this!!! It's all part of that gender socialization. I'm just so happy we've reached a level of awareness where we can unpack what we've been conditioned to believe and feel our pain, cry an ugly cry without insecurity. 🫶🏽
Great video as always. I'm a very young doctor and the end of the video is something that hits close. Male and female colleagues constantly dismissing female patients' pain and me feeling powerless to change their mind and perception.
There was an OLYMPIAN who died in her home alone and scare cause her doctors didn't pay close attention to her high blood pressure, which was a danger for her and the growing baby, which it was in the end. She was overshadowed by two mummys competing against each other who can pop a baby from a mom who was their niece's age first. One of them being Al Pacino.
Because women do not hide their pain, people assume they cry over every minor injury and pay less attention when it's serious...
I’ve been suffering with headaches my whole life due to noise and it has been getting worse and worse. Every single doctor waves me off and tells my mom it’s from anxiety and it’s just fake and made up. Yes, it’s anxiety because of the headaches! I never know when I’m going to get them or what they will ruin next! I’m so sick of being dismissed as crazy or irrational. I’m so sick of my mom not being taken seriously. I’m so sick of it! I’ve been trying to get to a neurologist and audiologist for three years now! I’m done waiting! And I hate having headaches and needing to be rescued. I’m starting to wonder if I should take my dad to my appointments, maybe they’ll listen to him.
i remember right after having my thyroidectomy, i suffered from chest pain the night of. they had warned me going in that i might get blood clots in my chest and so when i experienced pain in that area, i immediately thought “holy shit, these must be blood clots” and was TERRIFIED i was going to die. besides which, the pain was excruciating. i have a pretty high threshold and yet this was leaving me gasping, like literally breathless, in agony. i remember telling them on a scale of 1-10 the pain felt like a 10 (i now know 10 is extreme to the point where you can’t really register anything except the suffering to the point of not being able to even talk - but this was after doing internet research NOT how it was explained to me in the hospital. 10 was explained as “really bad pain” - literally.) anyways, they questioned if it was really that bad which i now get a bit more, but still, it was terrifying to be in such terrible pain and crying because the pain was so bad, and yet they were questioning how bad it was. part of my terror was feeling as if i was just being dismissed. so while part of it was miscommunication even just that taste of my literal suffering and fear getting brushed aside, especially in a place where it’s supposed to be about respecting such things instead of dismissing them, left me mentally wrecked. i used to love hospital shows but now they’re unwatchable - everytime one plays around me i remember that night and it feels as raw as it did then
NEVER see a male doctor of ANY kind.
The way I felt physical discomfort, actual goosebumps, at how your friend's sick ex got aroused at her crying...
I WAS LITERALLY JUST TALING ABOUT THIS!!!! I was telling my friend that the whole movie "Blonde" was just an anti abortion ad and a female suffering fetish. Traaaaash
Marilyn accomplished so much and not was mentioned in the whole movie. Extremely demeaning and disrespectful.
exactly they painted marilyn as a damsel in distress, they should’ve made the movie about her triumphs and the obstacles she had to go through in the way
Not to mention fetuses can't talk. According to their bible life starts at first breath
Yes so true!! I feel like she was sooo talented and smart and charming, just imagine being in a room with her… Insane! Everyone would gather around to just listen to her talk. That’s the power she held. But they somehow made her look small and weak and like she had no will of her own
It was a bad movie…but how was it anti-abortion? 😂 y’all be saying anything
@@Las645 idk the way they made the dead baby talk to her, saying shii like “oh, why’d you abort me?” or “you killed me for nothing” made it seem VERY anti-abortion but i understand if you don’t think so 🤷🏽♀️ still a weird asf movie by the end of the day tho
I just finished binge watching shameless again and I have come to appreciate how whenever Fiona is crying it’s never pretty, it’s always a true ugly cry that looks like the pain is coming from her soul. Whenever she’s in her self destructive moments (especially season 9) it is the opposite of sexy. Her pain is never romanticized. Shameless has some short comings but I’m glad they portrayed their female lead’s suffering with respect.
Because men love it. I've been in 2 abusive relationships & had many, many toxic relationships with males & they absolutely love to see women suffer. Gets them off. Makes them feel like "a man" If they can destroy a whole other person, then they must be powerful. It's as simple as that.
No wonder they are terrified of trans men/women, enbys and futches. They have competition now.
@@falconeshieldMy own mother knows I'm pansexual with a stronger preference for women (not non-binary, it obvious she is one of those people who believes in 2 genders🙄) and she is convincing me to give men a try like, fuck her internalized misogyny and homophobia. She want me to be miserable because she is. She clearly refused to accept the fact that I don't HAVE to involve men in my life no more. I'm very attracted to every women I've seen so far more than men.
@@nicatina So true. I'm bi and non-binary (AFAB) with a heavy preference for women, and my mum is always telling me that men are better and I REALLY actually want to be with a man. The average man; no I absolutely do not.
I feel bad that a lot of people who are only attracted to men feel like they have to put up with sexism, abuse, dismissiveness, and other shitty things because that's "just how men are" and they'll "die alone" if they don't settle for that.
I'm extremely lucky to not be stuck only liking men, which means I can have standards and have good relationships that I don't have to spend the first few years of educating my partner so that they can respect me as an equal human being.
I'm disabled and have many health conditions, so I find it very hard to be positive and grateful about my life, but being bi is genuinely something I have always consistently been grateful for.
@@hollow_me_out I'm also non-binary AFAB too (in case anyone misunderstood the first part of my sentence ; I meant my mom doesn't know I am/identifed as non-binary, but she keeps on calling me only woman when I don't only identify myself as that🤦🏽♀️) I had my own internalized biphobia in the past where I think I'm not "bi/pan enough" because I only dated men, so I tried giving women a try, and while it did ended well for me and the girls, I felt nothing for any of them during those times ngl, but my times with men were so traumatic and horrible than that. I can't even tell if any of my attractions for them are romantic/sexual and genuine too or if I only liked the validation given to me. I wish people can also take a bi person with trauma seriously, not assume all bi women who are traumatized by men are suffering from comphet or "going through a phase" to keep excusing misogyny and heteronormativity, and that "we only needed a man after all, you just need to keep looking". 🙄
The awesome fact about being bi/pan is that you can explore a lot of different options you're attracted to. You can date enbys, genferfluids, trans, cis-homos, and not only cishets. I wish we weren't raised to like *only* cishet men and keep on looking for the "right man" after one failed, because what if we weren't born and wired that way to keep looking for more men we don't even like? We're allowed to explore various of other people.
I hope you're able to find a great, perfect partner who can be there for you during your darkest times. You deserve to be in a healthy relationship with someone you truly love for their personalities, and never the genders. It okay to have a preference! as long as it comes with personalities. I have a preference for women but it the personality I'm seeking in them! (:
@@nicatina Yeah for sure. I love men, just not the average type. I like unhinged but harmless men, autistic men, feminine men, funny and kind men, trans men, men who are empathetic, bi/pan men, the list goes on.
And of course I love all other genders and presentations as well, so it just feels so strange and delusional to me when people will point at an average-ass man who is sexist, selfish, capitalist, homophobic etc. and has little good to offer me, and tells me THAT'S what I really want or need.
I'm just gonna do what's good for me and be with people that make me feel good :)
If Sam and the Weekend think the Idol is peak dark and controversial media then they would simply pass away at my Ao3 history.
They're more Wattapad guys
seek help
@@shifa444It was a joke.
as someone who fits the “troubled, poor girl” stereotype (abuse, depression, drinking problems, among others) i understand showing a perspective but to show that kind of pain just for the sake of entertainment is disturbing and society should be questioning themselves for that. thank you for this video.
I agree. As someone who has struggled with this and likes to channel my emotions through writing, I agree that it's equally important to acknowledge that women should be allowed to express these experiences and perspectives, even if they (hear me out) romanticize them. Perhaps it is problematic, but if it is THEIR pain to romanticize then that's their business, some people need to cope that way. However when people straight up fetishize female pain and want to see women suffering for entertainment, that's more of a disturbing societal issue.
To anyone thinking "perfect blue sounds like a good movie to watch" heads up its one of the most disturbing movies I've ever seen, I wish I had only watched youtube videos about it vs actually watching it. Because it does have really interesting themes and that creepy "is that real or in her mind?" but my god those sexual scenes were really hard to watch
It's the movie that unofficially inspired Inception
@@falconeshield "Paprika" was actually the one that inspired "Inception". From what i remember, "Perfect Blue" is the one that inspires "Requiem of Dream" and "Black Swan", i think.
wow i never knew that men not believing woman’s pain was for every women. i’ve only read/seen (barely any coverage on this topic in main media) that black women’s pain isn’t believable and isn’t listened as much as white womens pain is therefore more black women die from labor(as in giving birth), heart attacks, etc. great video as always can’t wait to see more 😁❤️
Yes same for Indigenous women!
They want us women infighting amongst ourselves
@@nhvkuy4675 well that might be true but it also has to do with racism and classism so it’s not as simple as women let’s support each other unfortunately.
2 points against you if you're a woman and not white. I was limping around with a dislocated tailbone for *5 months* after an assault and NO ONE believed me. By the time it was finally put back in place (even the discovery of it was a fn accident) the damage had become permanent and now I have 9/10 pain everyday for the rest of my life and can only work about 3 hours a week because I need days to recover each time. And this is why I fucking hate people and want to make enough money to buy my own island.
That’s seems like a very simplistic explanation for a very complex situation. I bet race has anything to do with that. I bet men in their 30s die more for labor than men in their 20s for example.
i feel like as a girl i’m guilty of doing this to myself.
i never wished to confront it before because i didn’t know how, but i always knew deep down i never took my own pain seriously. even when i feel it, physically, i believe i was conditioned to trivialize that pain immediately because of how i would ‘look to others’ and so naturally i distanced myself from my trauma in a way you’d distance yourself from a character you were playing.
i’m working to heal this
Another interesting contrast between Perfect Blue and Idol: Satoshi Kon is able to reflect on his work and acknowledge how he could have improved it. Kon has mentioned in interviews that the rape scene in the movie is too long and more graphic than necessary. A much more introspective outlook than the response of the producers of Idol had to criticism.
One thing I think of, coming from the U.K., is growing up watching Effy on Skins. I so badly wanted to emulate her sadness and suffering because everyone around her in the show seemed to glamourise it and saw it as part of her appeal
i find it really interesting that as the culture "moves away" from gratuitous objectification of women, it just opens the door for (male) filmmakers to do the same thing, more and worse, under the name of 'commentary', this time supposedly exempt from that criticism.
i'm also really grateful that you brought up the dismissal of chronically ill women - i've been asked more than once by doctors if i was "having trouble with my boyfriend", when i came to them with severe chronic pain, and throughout my teens, multiple doctors told my parents that they thought i was faking my pain for attention (nb: it was ehlers-danios syndrome).
i also think the perfect female victim trope has a real and severe impact on mentally ill girls and women - when i was severely mentally ill as a teenager, i (and others i knew) would drive ourselves worse in an attempt to reach 'beautiful suffering'. it makes me feel gross to think about now, but i actually remember saying "i don't care if it hurts, i want it to be glamorous". the sexualisation of women's pain kills girls !!
There’s a very strong theme of this in great gatsby, Daisy was said to be sad and beautiful (direct quote: ‘Her face was sad and lovely’), there was even a line on how her being sick made her voice more arousing
I thought i found similarities between The Idol and Blonde but didn't have the eloquence to articulate them. Thank you for doing it! Excellent video 💜
Sam Levinson has a good eye for visuals. He can make a film look great. But he is a terrible writer. I never believe his characters, so I never care.
That work's credit actually goes to the cinematographer, cameramen, set designers, an entire team of lighting experts, make up artists, costume artists especially for euphoria, etc Sam is just a director who is telling people how to act and stuff.
@@RandomSwiftie13 I guess my meaning is that he has good visual taste. Like Steve Jobs didn't design every aspect of the iPhone himself, but he knew how to direct the resources to make it come together.
He’s only good at writing about himself and his struggles with addiction. In Euphoria Rue is a stand in for Sam. Look at the way Rue dresses and acts compared to all the other female characters. It’s very very clever that Sam basically found a way to tell his own story but cast a mixed race woman to do it. One hand I applaud that because people should be able to tell their story through people who don’t look like them but on the other hand, has he ever written a fully fleshed out, more typically female character?
I have no problem with media portraying women who suffer despite money and fame. But what I do have a problem with, is how they execute it.
You can display someone dealing with serious issues society inflicts on them but there is a difference between representation and romanticism. Representing means you are fully aware that what you are portraying is a serious issue so you do your best to tell your audience the dangers of such a common situation.
Romanticism, however, is displaying a serious issue as something “glamorous” and “unique”. This is what media like ‘The Idol’ and ‘Blonde’ succeed to do. Using real-life issues and portraying them as something positive or good to have. They grab an individual’s actual pain and exploit it for their own disgusting needs.
Anyways, sorry for the long comment but I highly appreciate you making this video. I’m writing a character who deals with these kind of problems but portray it as something serious and I’m tired of the media doing this to the suffering.
the saddest part is watching young girls internalise this, make their pain a performance even in moments of suffering think about atleast they look pretty while crying, somehow the fact that their body deteriorating is beautifully fragile, somehow its an essential part of femininity; they’re soo written by lana del rey & the weeknd lol
and i understand its because girls often have no other way to cope with these feelings so they romanticise it but it has done sm damage.
i remember as a teenager i was very self-conscious that i was an ugly crier.. and now i realize that that was stupid af
If a woman's crying actually arouses a man, then I'd have to question exactly what category of porn he's been watching...
I think one of the biggest giveaways if a woman is well written is whether or not they are allowed to be 'ugly'. In so many of the poorly written films, the woman in 'serious pain' might have a single tear roll down her cheek, or be sobbing but somehow still look 'sexy'. Real pain is nowhere near sexy, so if a woman ever appears 'ugly' in a show, it is more real.
Wow that last part about your friend and her ex-husband really made my light bulb flicker. I remember my husband telling me that my scream of pain turned him on. Back story we were at the doctor and the doctor had to reset my shoulder as I have chronic dislocations. The doctor taught my husband how to do it safely and showed him everything about what to do. We had to correct it one time at around 2am. I helped him grab the equipment and he set it back in place. But ya know it's absolutely horrifically painful for an instant and then complete relief. But he told me that my scream turned him on. Like the guy is the sweetest man and the love of my life and has been now for 11 years. But even he... is affected by my suffering like that. Man....
I'm only 18, but I've heard and seen so much already. Even behind the sweetest man hides a monster, and I have a problem seeing men as anything but human. They see us as objects, which thought me to see them as animals. Which is sad, but at the same time, it grands safety.
That's awful! 😭 My brother in law is the exact opposite. My sister has a knee that used to dislocate often. Every time he saw my sister in pain he felt sick and wanted to help. One time my sister fell down the stairs and her knee dislocated. My brother in law saw and heard that, and fainted. He absolutely cannot stand to see other people in pain. I think that's way more normal reaction. I personally don't trust any man that gets excited from seeing w/0men in pain, that's a HUGE red flag 😬
We're literally dropping young girls into "simulated" brutality and asking the world to gawk at it, but hey at least the men have something to get off to🤷🏻♀
p.s. would love to see you do a whole video on Perfect Blue!
The funniest observation I have ever read about sam Levinson is that he rarely depicts characters climaxing during sex acts, kind of interesting to think about.
Damn…I don’t even sure what to say…when everything is displayed this way it just hurts to realize that living as a woman my experiences (especially painful ones) were disregarded like it was nothing… “you will learn to live with it” kinda bs
This is also what the movie Priscilla will be. The world loves a beautiful, suffering woman. There's nothing glamorizable or beautiful about an ugly woman's suffering, but the world expects it all the same. People expect women to suffer, to be unhappy, to sacrifice to lose. Man's suffering is catastrophic, violent, ugly, and destructive because its an abnormality. It's not supposed to be. Something must be wrong with society. But a women's suffering is the statement of the female nature. I could list the myriad of ways you see this in social media, happy women get. They can't thrive on it.
girl holdup let me get my popcorn
🫶🏻🥰
Tbh, the only piece of media that I’ve seen do a good job at this is The Boys.
OMG, i love that show.
@@absolutelynotellen Me too.
I love the women in that show... they're just as interesting as the male
characters and not super sexualized
@@Ronsquaremy Exactly. And they have unique struggles, but they make their own CHOICES whether to compromise with their situation or fight it. They’re not portrayed as innocent victims, despite being marginalized.
Great video! This subject has been festering in me for the longest time because it feels like even if we can easily call out The Idol for the long winded p0rn0 that it is, the beautification of women’s bodies and romanticization of our pain doesn’t actually feel shaken. We keep being the subject of men’s commentary and are still expected to look pretty through it all. It makes me frustrated because I can see women internalize the “aesthetic” of being a woman and that’d include myself. It’s like we’re all under a spell we can’t break but we know it’s there…
i was maybe 9 when i decided i wanted to be that beautiful tormented woman i would see in different medias. 9 year old me thought that that would get me help, that that would make people really understand how much trauma and mental turmoil i was going through. that idea stayed with me for at least another 7 years. i spent years of my life trying to present my suffering in a way that was beautiful and fitting for an audience. but at the end of the day, no one cared. it was for nothing, all of it. it never amounted to anything. it feels so stupid to think how much of my life i spent being ashamed of my hurt.
I'm doing much better now. no thanks to the trope of fetishising a female in pain tho.
I think my mom said it best, in the middle of a particularly corny scene when she said "Damn, this show would be completely unwatchable if Lily Rose was just half as beautiful."
As a kid I would put on heavy makeup and pretend to cry in front of the mirror until the makeup ran because I was affected by all these scenes. Yeah maybe seems harmless but it means I had already internalized as a kid that quietly suffering was an integral part of beauty and womanhood
I didn’t start recognizing this until way later in life. The brutality of this topic is difficult. I didn’t recognize because I was so accustomed to it being the norm for myself and the women around me.
I remember someone pointing out how at the same time as amber heard released a new film, johnny depps daughters project is released and we learn that a show about a victim of a cult and domestic violence was changed into a show about a beautiful young star who turns out to be "the abuser.” And his daughter was celebrating him at Cannes, and saying nice things about him, after years of avoiding public statements with or about him- and while at Cannes get a 9 minute standing ovation for her show. a show that almost everyone hates, and doesn't seem worthy of the buzz caused by the Cannes ovation. especially considering the power her dad has in the film industry, and the power disney and other companies who stand to lose a lot of money if depps reputation is lost.
This made me realize smtg 2 years ago I went to the doctor because of depression and anxiety. I didn’t sleep well at all during that time. When I talked to the doc about the how I felt horrible, he didn’t and me seriously at all. He even seemed sarcastic when he responded to me. He didn’t even give me medicine to help or anything.
I’m not sure if it was because he didn’t take my pain seriously as a women but idk it really shook me.
Ngl I do find The Idol sinister because of how and why the plot and character changed. Jocelyn became a less fleshed out character than her abuser, and we'll never get to see what it originally could've been because the weekend found it "too feminist"
When I'm suffering but realize I was written by a male: 💋💋💋
"It's commentary." Yeah babe? What's was the comment?
The Haunting of Hill House and Hereditary are my favourite in the topic of female suffering. No romanticization, pure mental health thrown in the garbage, raw and pure that shows how just because you're an attractive woman it doesn't mean you're a dying flower, if anything, you're more like a dangerous individual like anyone else.
In one case you have a mother and a mother who's alredy mentally fragile going insane under the weight of life and family, on the other a family in which the daughters are miserable and traumatized and put up a strong facade because they have responsabilities and lives to attend to, one brother who's skeptical about anything and the other destroyed by their life. No glamour, no frivolous stuff, just ordinary and genuinely relatable.
In fact people call both movies boring.
An AMAZING movie about the objectification of women is Incident In a Ghostland. A psychological horror touching on the delicate process of becoming a woman and how the world starts perceiving you because of it, plus the trauma that comes from the horror themes treated in the movie that for a woman are, other than relatable, straight up uncomfortable. I loved every second of it even when it made my skin crawl in disgust.
That's a movie that wants to critique something, not one in which you get beautiful women crying their mascaras out and smiling for a camera.
A movie about Marilyn could have been so much more interesting if it got treated as a documentary instead of showing us her crying and being what she was not. She was a completely normal human being outside of the show, her moves weren't hers, but the product of an image that Hollywood forced on her even criticizing the fact that for them her mouth was too close to her nose and she needed fix even how she talked. That's disgusting alredy, to know that a woman to be perceived as beautiful needed to become a marionette ignoring her own being. Be yourself, but only the small amount that doesn't destroy the character you need in order to be appreciated by the world.
We live in a period of time in which both men and women are suffering, yet on a side you get men in the media portrayed as dumb creatures with two emotions and the personality of either an abuser or a loser, on the other women who are either girl bosses or these tormented beauty queens.
recently i’ve been rewatching mad men and i don’t know what the reception was at the time but i feel like joan’s rape by her fiancé/husband is somewhere in this sphere. they took the one female character that’s confident and in control and had her raped. it annoys me. i haven’t finished the season and don’t remember if the story line redeems itself but it just felt so unnecessary. there are other ways of throwing your female characters a curveball
I heard Oshi No Ko was a good anime handling similar topics like these even better
I’ve watched it and no, not really. Most of it so far has been about how to drive the male MC goals and motivation, all the way to the typical Lost Lenore death which she had no female friends and is centured around her love for one guy. The writer didn’t credit or compensate the mother and her dead daughter they based off [spoiler character] story of after she already complained about those chapters in the manga. Which you, you guessed, was mainly used to further the male MC’s talents and creditibility. You can argue say the writer was making a spectacle of the original Terrance House incident.
Don’t get me wrong, its a great show and the characters are not poorly written either. But it feels like a slightly (incredibly slightly) better take on Hitchcock’s story where the girl’s stories and backgrounds are vessels to show how a guy can save them from perils and clutches of the entertainment industry. While it touches on some topics better than others, and the girls are not poorly written compared to other shounen, but its either grazed at or just use to drive the guy’s story that the girls are plot devices for.
Maybe that will change in S2 but I wouldn’t jump the gun saying “its even better”. Its just alright that has a lot of hype because its written to appeal to shounen audience. There is a reason you hear about it more than say, Perfect Blue, which OP’s channel is the first I heard mention so frequently. To add on, Oshi No Ko got more hype than the male counterpart shows that have already devolved far more into the entertainment industry in general before Oshi No Ko because of how much female suffering is also a spectle in the anime community and when the media targeted towards guys, its more socially acceptable to watch. Similar to how the Idol found the feminist perspective something to discard.
The pink letters with a white outline is really bad and hard to look read :(
Here is the best summary of The Idol possible written by myself:
The Idol wanted to be All That Jazz and failed miserably because instead of demonizing the main male character's sexism and showing how it causes pain to all parties involved, it fetishizes it and shows that you can be a cruel person to women and still get your way.
As a gay black woman I love your video, amazing, chefs kiss!
Unfortunately, there are more than a few Hollywood producers who are of the same mindset as Levinson, which means we can expect even more of this kind of sexually exploitative (and decidedly sophomoric) content.
im a writer and my dream is to make movies, im writing one rn that focus more on boys, but i had some ideas about a story of a woman with severe bipolar disorder and this topic of female suffering sexualization came to my mind, and i thought how funny it is that they sell us beautiful people to represent our ugly sadness, so currently its hard to break my way through writing this bipolar woman without this "hot-sad-female recepie" and i have to say that your video helped me so much!!! i started to notice more how i act "steriotypical feminine" all the time even alone and i have a hard time finding out who i am because i don't feel femninine no matter what i do, and honestly this was a good help, breaking patterns in cinema its important for many women who feel like they need to be something that they aren't
men be like "i will objectify people who are already objectified and call it realistic art"
another show that could be talked about here is pam and tommy - taking a true story and exploiting it to capitalize off of it. i didn't watch it in it's entirety, but seeing the way their relationship was romanticized... shook me.
in the mainstream renderings of female suffering and even female rage, none ever communicates to me the injustice that exists there. the gaze doesn't allow for that, maybe because if you let the audience feel the injustice underlying the suffering, you're gonna have to offer more than a gaze and a lot of (male) filmmakers are not willing to stretch their imagination past their own fantasies
and that's on that. consume instead: PORTRAIT OF A LADY ON FIRE and the will to change by bell hooks & the like
honestly. it’s male filmmakers reluctance to explore the female psyche that makes me wonder if they’re using their “lack of empathy” to further their own personal agendas.. all with the intention to do it undetected, and without being held accountable for their perverted interpretations of the women they have access to on (and even off) screen
I don’t think it’s coincidence either that all your examples are blonde women. Undeniably white, blonde women.
Those two are definitely the most recent cases most talked about, so it makes sense to me.
@@kateunder2399 I don’t mean it as a knock to the creator, but to the people that directed this female suffering. They want it to be sexualized, and of course, chose blonde white women to represent it
Some men never let go of their Roman genes. They used to go gaga for blondes in the ancient world.
i mean blondes are considered the most attractive to males, so they will be represented more, coming from someone who is a brunette
@@flawlessfrenchfrie that’s what I was implying.
Thank you SOOOO much for this video. Perfect Blue is one of my favorite movies, and when watching The Idol, I couldn’t help but draw direct comparisons to it. Also, I will be checking out Helter Skelter. Thanks for the recommendation.
lol, you feel better now honey? put some of lotion you keep next to your screen on that butthurt, it's making you act out
It hurts. It hurts to live in a society where this is the norm. It hurts, because whenever I mention that it hurts men tell me there are greater problems and some women, blinded by the patriarchy, agree with that. And no wonder it hurts so much, if those evil creatures fetishize our pain. They are doing everything in their power for it to hurt more
Ohhhhh I was waiting for you to make a video about the idol 🙏🏼 this show is a DISASTER
I'm new to your channel.
So incredible. I honor your insightfulness. I have not really explored this concept. It gets extremely difficult as a trans woman who came out in her 60's. I am always struggling with this fear that I am appropriating womanhood (self-doubt?). I suppose that makes me sound like a terf? I watch this video and ask myself have I ever really understood the plight of women? I really am afraid of a 'how dare you' confrontation - and yet I feel I have no real choice. I have always found the male gaze disgusting. Hegemonic as you called it - rather awful - I guess I say this in my defense.
You can count on one thing - I will definitely be asking myself a whole new set of questions.
I just want you to know that I support trans women (and trans people in general) on my channel, and that I do not believe you are appropriating womanhood. Womanhood can be so complicated to navigate. 💖
@@FinalGirlStudios Thank you. I have to confront my fears honestly. I think what triggered me was a poem by Anne Sexton In Celebration of My Uterus, I found it incredibly painful to read as a trans woman. She's becoming one of my favorite poets.
I love this video essay and pretty much everything you post! I will say, I always kind of felt like perfect blue was trauma porn/pain fetishizing in the same way that blonde/Cassie from euphoria. Idk I don't know if I'll ever get why people like that movie
I love this channel and I love that Tomie is your avatar
you deserve so much more recognition for the quality work you are uploading
i had been thinking about an example where a male character is suffering, written and directed by a woman…and all i can think of are great shows that helped me even tho the mc wasn’t the same gender as i was. one example that comes to mind is a silent voice. we see the suffering, we feel it and we understand it, but never had to see the guy crying, jerking off or asking to be violated by someone. it just doesn’t exist the other way around.
i never thought of female suffering as being fetishized and now that i realize just how true that is it’s kind of gross…i think even i have fell into that hole of thinking that being a woman is purely painful no matter what as if that was part of existence as opposed to a made up reality that was crafted for us to feel that pain.
This was an amazing video essay!! Your choice of words and excerpts were just so genius
omg!! she’s back, you just made my day (despite the dire topic, great deep dive) thank you thank you thank you
I know it’s not really the point of your essay, but I’m left thinking how this also applies to the superhero genre, so to speak. Specifically in the MCU films (and the comic books they adapt), they’ve based the stories for the Black Widow, Captain Marvel, the Scarlet Witch, Nebula and Gamora, or She Hulk recently, in their suffering.
And while there are male characters that have also suffered in one way or the other, it’s usually not shown and portrayed in the same way.
What I mean by that is that even on a genre that caters to a potential younger audience and that tells stories about literal super beings… the female ones can’t avoid intense personal suffering, and their power often derive from it. Idk, maybe I digress (I work with superhero comic books, so I guess I can’t help it)
Anyways, great video, as always. It’s so soothing to hear you so perfectly put into words what I’ve been feeling for so long.
I have a pain disease and the story you told about your friend who was going through a divorce, who said that her husband found it arousing when she cried really reminds me of my ex boyfriend. He told me, that he couldn't help but find it incredibly arousing when I was in pain. At the time I kind of didn't realize how horrible that is to say to someone and it's by far not the only thing that clearly overstepped a lot of boundaries of what is okay. But I still, 3 years later, think about this sometimes. I get that some people find it hot when their Partner is in pain during Sex and my ex definitely was one of those people. But it was the first time I heard someone say, that a woman experiencing an illness, that makes her feel incredible pains, can be arousing.
I can’t tell you how thankful I am for finally finding other people who have noticed this lately!!
I really hope your channel keeps growing!
Your videos are amazing and well informed 💕 I will recommend your channel to my friends too!
Loved it! It can be overwhelming how in retrospective this tipe of shows have influenced in our lives and our perspective on ourselves as females. Sometimes I get to dissociate to the point I don't recognize myself on the mirror and it's painful to feel like my own body has been robbed to me by the opinion and representation of others. Greating from Colombia:3
oh my god you are amazing don’t ever stop creating videos!!
This was a great video. I loved hearing different perspectives on The Idol and this is probably one of the best ones I've seen so far since it isn't just a blow by blow of the plot, which though quite fun gets repetitive after the 10th video. Can't wait to see more videos from you!
Amazing video, thank you so much for these essays
Thank you for watching!!💖
I’m so happy I found your channel