That first one breaks my heart. Like imagine being the niece. Your parents get divorced, then your dad (I don't care about genetics. He was a father figure. In her eyes, that's her dad) completely cuts ties because of something your mom did when she was young, and then you lose even more of your family through your dad's selfishness. As a child of adoption, this obsession with blood relation only ever hurts the kid involved.
Omg. Not religious based, but at some point our parents used then ”this is our house” thing on me and my sister. And she blurted out “this is your house and it’s OUR home… it’s gotta work for ALL OF US!” it was the “omg my big sister is a BOSS!” Moment when I was a kid lol
Librarian here, who had a kid whose teacher wanted to him to read at his level: Rose wants to read stories that are geared to her actual age. The A to Z Mysteries are on the level of The Boxcar Children. The parent needs to relax because Rose is doing just fine with her reading. If she wants to be helpful,, take her to the public library so she can get suggestions for other books from a children’s librarian.
YES so much yes. As you guys point out in the video, reading ability and maturity level are not the same thing. I had a reading level off the charts as a kid and just *knew* when something was too emotionally advanced for me. I tried A Wrinkle in Time too young and had to return to it later--same for wholesome adult fantasy like Terry Brooks when I was about 13--and I ended up starting Stephen King on my own like a year and a half later. Kids know what they're ready for.
I was the kid always wanting to read above my age, but I'm Team Rose. Mom certainly wouldn't like anyone telling her what she's allowed to read in her leisure time. And if Rose did go along and read those older books, mom would/should be there to help her with those topics. I think most of us think kids are made to grow up too fast, and this little girl is just wanting to stay a kid for a little longer.
This is a really interesting to me. Is it maybe an American thing? To push so hard on the child's 'reading level'? Where I live literacy is definitely important thing that is well encouraged and developed in school. But we don't insist the child read more advanced just because they can. This is really confusing to me actually. 😅
my initial reaction to the Rose one was SO STRONG, oh my gosh. Let this girl read what she wants!! there's also a bigger discussion here on how arbitrary "reading level" is and how it's used as a substitute for quality, but even aside from that - why are they discouraging their child from reading?!!! as you said it doesn't sound like it's an age appropriate content issue - it's just this parent deciding that only one kind of book is acceptable (also, speaking from experience, if you're a kid who reads a lot and who reads at a high level, you run out of "level appropriate" books very quickly!)
Mara- I am LOVING your recent videos. It seems that the new direction you've been taking your channel in is totally paying off (in my humble and wholly subjective opinion that is!). Was thoroughly entertained.
how DARE that man call himself a father to anyone if he cuts out his 11 year old for a betrayal she is in no way responsible for! I really hope the uncle gave the gift too.
3rd one - the withholding parent is definitely the asshole. I speak from the experience of being the mother of an advanced reader, a regular reader, and a reader who struggled for two years just to LEARN how to read. In all of these cases I let them read what they wanted provided it wasn't inappropriate, and they are all avid adult readers now. Adult as in the youngest (who was the struggler) is 26. He reads voraciously and I guarantee that if I hadn't given him the freedom (within reason, see below) to choose what he wanted to read, he would have given up on the whole business. I know more about 90's and aughts mid-grade, YA, teen, etc. than I ever expected to in my life because to ensure that something wasn't inappropriate, I read everything they did. And by "inappropriate" I mean I wasn't going to let my 6 year old advanced reader bust out true crime books, graphically violent mysteries, sexually explicit novels, etc. She did, however, read Grey's Anatomy and Descartes...which I'm not sure were terribly wise of me to agree to at the time, but here we are. I partially hold my BFF Jill responsible for the Grey's, though. She's a critical care nurse and lobbied on my daughter's behalf. Now they talk about emergency brain surgery and other icky stuff. TLDR; You cannot nurture your precocious child's desire and love for reading by denying them reading material that is age and interest appropriate just because it super-beyond their capabilities and YOU think they should be reading more advanced stuff.
1 Give the niece the books, 2 let Rose read what she wants, 3 It was terrible the dad threw out the books he should have talked to his son. 4 The artist and the author need to compromise. Mara and Kim, this was a great video
As a parent and a teacher with a master’s in reading instruction, I think it’s a terrible mistake to *demand* that Rose read books “on her reading level.” First, the best way to kill reading pleasure is to insist that the reader use only what you want them to read. Second, I think nearly all voracious readers do some relaxation reading. Further, figure out what Rose is interested in and show her some books on those subjects. Read with and to her. I certainly don’t want to read, say, War and Peace every day, but sometimes I do. I get the feeling that the parent’s ego is slightly involved here. Just let the kid read.
FRANK PERETTI. What a pull. I *just* unearthed my copies of his books from my middle school youth group days in the back row of my double stacked bookshelves, so that was a weird coincidence that you mentioned him. 😂😂
I feel like the poster doesn't understand that a kid who reads at a higher level might still want to read books geared TO THEIR AGE! I can read and comprehend dense medical or philosophical books but that doesn't mean it's necessarily interesting to me... (the medical ones would be but the point stands) Also that first story... 100% the father is terrible for cutting out his child/children because of the mom's infidelity and some genetic testing... what a harmful impact on his children Edit: I'd be fascinated to see what other reddit users posted as their responses to these AITA queries
Totally agree! Even if the child can read at a higher level doesn’t mean that they want to. Although I can read some classic literature, it doesn’t mean that that’s my go to book. Especially if I want to relax from school. I might pick up a children’s classic or something more modern.
As a human from a house hold where there was a lot of fighting, I gravited towards horror because it helped me figure out these deep feelings I didn't understand
I love this video. Love you, love Kim. What a delight 🥰. I was literally cringing when you read about the family member with chocolately fingers picking up that person’s book 🥴 Maybe it was The Shadowside Trilogy because it’s $48 😂
As a mom I feel terrible for these kids... one losing their whole family pretty much by no fault of their own and then poor Rose just wants to read books she likes! Like, just let her read.. I let my kids read whatever they pick out as long as they are appropriate.
This was so fun to watch! I love how reasonable you both are. I get a little heated when it comes to people not letting others read what they want to/damaging books 😅😅
Canadian here! I would totally give the books to the niece. She would enjoy and appreciate it. Why should she have to lose out when she hasn't done anything wrong?
This was such a fun video!! Your content has been great lately! So refreshing and creative!!! 😍 Also, Kim is great!!! I'd love to see her back for more "episodes" of AITA. It could totally be a Mara & Kim series! 😜
My half brother calls my mom his mom too even though she is his stepmom because she was the first woman in his life that actually treated him like a mom would. She raised him. This poor little girl lost her only father figure.
I am a book ruiner 😂. I don't mean to be but I have definitely dropped my books in the bathtub, dried it off, read it and kept it 😂... I didn't know breaking the spine was a thing. I intentionally break the spine to make it easier to read. I also throw away the book jackets or use them as bookmarks 😂. I wouldn't do that to someone else's books intentionally though.
"They both died thinking she was in our family" - she is in your family!! Regardless of whether he is the biological father or not, he is the only father the niece knows and the only family she knows. To cut her out like that and to tell everyone else in the family to do the same is a huge a**hole thing to do.
When I first saw the title I thought it was going to be talking about AITA scenarios based on characters' actions in books, but this was so much fun! What a great idea for a video, and it was great to see your friend Kim to get both of your perspectives. I agree with where you guys landed on every AITA post. The horror book one especially... oof. My mom has gotten more relaxed over the years, but I remember having to talk her into Harry Potter when they were being released, and she did once throw away a DVD I had of Dogma. Setting aside whether that was actually a good movie or appropriate for someone my age, it really hurt me that she threw away something I'd bought with my own money and it still sticks in my mind. And that was ONE thing, not several hardcover books that must've been more of an investment.
I just discovered you and I am already a huge fan. You're terrific (both of you). I loved this segment, it was a new and fresh take for book tube. Great discussion. I have to leave for work and I don't wanna.... Happy New Year!
This was such a fun video! I loved seeing such a nice friendship between you and Kim. I felt like I was right there with you pondering these scenarios.
Thank you for sharing Kim with us! Your rapport and dynamic really vibed with this format and was so enjoyable to watch. Seriously what a fun concept, and I cackled several times in addition to thinking thoughtfully about the issues - perf combo, IMO.
Loved this❤❤❤ Is Kim single??? She is so cute! And loved her perspective. The first one she totally needs to give the niece the set of books! Second one, I'd be pissed!!! Especially if it was a collectible!
This was great! I was guessing the expensive paperback was a special edition of some kind. The A-Z Mysteries is a children's mystery series. They are very popular in school libraries like the I Survived! books.
You guys are so well matched as friends that my eleven year old came in and thought I was watch6the same person speaking in overlapping vids! Great content 😇
Oh lord the advanced reader kid. Just let her read what interests her! She might be able to comprehend at a 9th grade level, but she clearly doesn't enjoy the themes a 9th grader would. If I, a grown adult in my mid-late 30s, can be allowed to enjoy YA, this kid can enjoy whatever she wants!
You got a thumbs up simply for the level of Canada appreciation at the beginning. I'll sign Kim's petition just have her send it over by beaver or moose mail.
I think horror lover should have a friend keep his books and read them outside the house. Fits the letter of household rules and protects his privacy and interests.
I love the way you discussed these!! I just want to add that books like ACOTAR with graphic scenes are not YA they are New Adult books. They should be in the adult fiction instead of the YA section. It gets confusing because publishers were trying to more broadly market using covers, titles, etc, after the YA craze following twilight and the hunger games releases.
The first one was heartbreaking. That girl is going to need her uncle. I hope he does keep his promise and give her the books. I hope that her dad will get over his hurt and anger and be a dad to both of his kids (regardless of biological paternity). They did not create the problem. The adults need to deal with it.
love this idea!!! some of the AITA's get pretty wild haha. Excited to watch this and it's so fun to see you with your friend Kim!! ♥ Edit after I finished the video and yes I really love the format of this!! You guys bounce off each other well and I loved both of the point of views you guys brought to the table. I also really liked how open minded you both were instead of just jumping on the yeah you're the asshole train (I felt that for a couple of these haha). Great video!!
YES, PLEASE!! I would like more of these!! Really enjoyed this and your friend Kim (Godi luck with your citizenship!!). And they don’t all have to be book related either😁
I’m feeling bad for Rose. A lot of kids don’t mature in all areas at the same rate, so while she’s advanced intellectually, it sounds like her interests are pretty firmly in her age group. She probably can’t relate to the teenage angst of YA, so she’s not interested. Especially since she’s already reading more advanced stuff in school, I think it’s perfectly fine to let her read for fun at home. I know that what I think my kids should like and what my kids actually like often don’t match, but I’m just happy to see them reading voluntarily.
Omg the horror book story is too relatable. I'll never forget when my mom went through my backpack and found my library copy of Eragon. I was in soooo much trouble because dragons and magic are evil 🙈
This was such a good video and great bookish advisements for tricky situations. Hope this becomes a regular feature of the channel. Regarding the 16 year old with the father throwing out his books, I have a theoretical question for you both...in this age of criminal charges being held against parents (as well as civil litigation) for their minor children's actions, can you see a scenario that would justify the boundary violation and intrusion upon privacy? Not saying this example was that but parents are being held liable for actions where they "should have" had knowledge. What would you do in such a situation where there might be an indicator or red flag and you felt as a parent you have a presumptive legal duty to do due diligence...?
Gonna update my comment as i go! Total agreement on the first one. He's taking out his anger on a CHILD, and decided to cut ties with his genetic kid too, bc he's angry at the mom. And then demanding the whole family join in? Controlling behavior and abandoment all so he can keep feeling angry w no complications. Keep in contact w that girl bc she's gonna need support Story 2. It's good they apologized, but did they really if they get all "well if you just knew better"? It is rude, but im glad this is not as serious as the first one lmao Story 3. If you make kids read things they dislike, they will not read later. In order to enjoy her hobby and enjoy learning you need to let her go with what she likes first. Adults have enough life experience and understanding to go "I don't like this, but i wanna know more/its good for me to get out of my comfort zone". Kids are still cooking, and if you make her associate reading with no interest, a lack of boundaries and struggle, that will always be there. Also like it sounds like you aren't thinking of her as a person with interests who's love for things needs to be cultivated and encouraged, and instead like a video game pet who's stats you need to up. Ignore the stats the school system gives you and listen to your actual child first and foremost Story 4. If the dad gets called a prick after acting like a prick and destroying someone else's belongings, that is simply a consequence. If the dad's upset about it and really thinks he did what's best (and is a good dad), then he would let his son express himself and not come away all butthurt. If he is butthurt, it really proves in the end he's not as in control as he imagines he is Story 5. I do understand that being uncomfortable with others reading it even if you want them to read it, but I agree. Does he just say "nice" at the drawings? Bro, that is bare minimum. You should be able to talk about it. I talk to my siblings about their art way more than "nice". Use this compromise and also talk to your partner more
The first one the brother is totally the asshole. You aren’t supposed to abandon children like that and uproot their entire life. Biological or not. What a terrible person.
haunting of hill house is so good but I found it wasn't really an adaptation of the book. so I just divorced the book and show when I watched it and found that really worked. the thing where religious people are against horror is so interesting to me, because horror seems like such a natural interest when you are already growing up in an environment where the supernatural, miracles, and the existence of hell as an actively malicious entity are emphasised. also the Bible is super metal and creative in its cruelty sometimes.
It is interesting to think about those dynamics, because, yes, pretty much every "Christian horror" novel is basically assuming that the devil/demons are real and so it's not considered to be a variant of a fantasy novel in the same way that mainstream horror would treat those elements
thank you Kim the only one where I will say "yes you're being an AHole!" is the 3rd one let Rose read whatever she wants! she's 9!!! her not wanting to read things for teenagers does not reflect a failure as a parent and besides reading levels doesn't really make much sense anyway since some very easy to read books might be totally inappropriate for someone on that level
@@michellerever3564 exactly! to go so far as sayin that she does not mind that Rose reads as long as Rose reads what the original poster wants is super problematic
26:55 I'm glad someone is talking about that. Like I love both the book and tv show equally but they are completely different in my eyes. But it is really weird that he made the "protagonist" (it's a bit more of an ensemble cast, but he's MORE of the protagonist than the others) a man who wrote a book which included some direct quotes from the actual book that was, you know, written by a woman.
that was such fun! what a great idea. 👌🏻 your friend kim‘s a natural; so entertaining to listen to you both bantering. 😊 agreed with all of your judgments, but - i‘d like to throw this thought out for the last quandary: what if she paints/draws perfectly nice, easy-on-the-eyes landscapes, but he‘s writing an encyclopedic tome about the cause, rise, prevention and treatment of std in ferrets? just sayin‘…
I agree with your conclusions completely! Also, you two make a great analytical pair- please consider doing more together! If not in person, Zoom? Podcast?
Breaking the spine of a book drives me crazy but I think if you aren't taught not break a spine in a book you do it without thinking. Chocolate fingers though...😒
I loved this video and would love to see more! For Story 5 I am going to take the ADHD approach here. Reading when you have unmedicated ADHD is incredibly hard. I start books and it can take me an entire year to finish them. If she has unmedicated ADHD and reading is something that is really hard for her to do and her brain just does not let her do it, it will be the most unenjoyable experience. If an ADHDer struggles with something that takes a long time their brain is highly uninterested and no amount of "trying harder" will help. I feel for both of them in the situation, cause I can understand wanting that kind of support. But ADHD makes anything hard when it's easy, trying harder doesn't work and it seems like he doesn't understand her ADHD or how difficult it would be to actually read. ADHD is so hard sometimes and people just don't understand it and how hard it can actually be.
One of the nicest guys I know loves horror books and movies. Whereas his horrible, just evil brother, hated them when he was alive. Their parents were pretty hands off about what they were allowed to read and watch as a kid, so you know, whatev with the dad. And at 16, I figure the kid is practically an adult, I was reading adult romances by then and by that time my parents didn't care too much what I read. (And would buy me romances with" interesting "covers for XMas and such, lol.).
Thank you! So fun! I was going to put this emoji 🙏 and then realized with what you’ve been through it might not be your fav - I’ve been emoji- oppressing!
A to Z are juvie series, about 2nd and 3rd grade level type :) and also, I would probably let my kids read what they wish because I read what I wished and I have to work and hope that my parenting and education will help them be okay and keep lines of communication open so they can come to me with any questions.
Omg. I love this video. $40 for a book... do they live in Canada? Lol and please start a podcast together lol I hope your citizenship works out Kim. Canada would be lucky to have you!!
I also unironically love Cracker Barrel ✋ also, I had such a knee-jerk reaction to the little girl who just wants to read books for her age level 😤 let her read what she wants!
As a parent to all levels of readers, I have seen the difficulty with finding level appropriate reading for a younger kid that isn’t about topics that are not interesting to the child. Also, OMG, the 16 year-old with the father who threw his books away….wow. I understand that there are people who think this way, but I look at anything like this (as a parent) as a teaching experience. If there is anything the kids have gotten that I may not be happy about, I don’t dismiss it but use it to engage in a conversation and possibly debate about the issues. Then, either allow it or compromise. My father did that with us and I find myself doing it with mine as well. When kids feel that you respect them as people, they are willing to be more open about all kinds of things. Interesting discussion y’all!
First person that wants to give books to his niece is a better uncle than his brother is a father. It's not only genetics that make a parent such, and not considering a child you raised as your own her whole life as not your child anymore because her biological father is someone else, is HORRIBLE, and that's not even mentioning ignoring his biological child! It's so selfish and narrow-minded! Some parents do not deserve to be parents. Edit: related to parents who police their children's reading. My parents were the opposite, and, on the contrary, I remember my mother giving me the thriller she had finished one summer on holiday when I was like 12, because I had already read all my books, and I'm now thinking "Really, mother? How on Earth did you think that was appropriate?" I also hate "This is my house".... yikes. Sir, you decided to have children, and have the audacity to have the attitude as if providing for your child is an act of generosity? Like, yea that's your house, that I'm in because you decided to have kids, so don't act as if you're doing me a favour by letting me stay?
I’m just going to reiterate what many others have said about the girl whose parent won’t let her read what she wants. That’s the best way to turn a reader into a non-reader. I’m a school librarian and I would never expect my students to choose library materials based on their reading level. I also have some personal experience with this: I was an advanced reader in a self-contained gifted program in elementary school. My teachers assigned us books that were closer to our reading levels for literature study while also allowing us plenty of choice. I loved rereading my favorite books at home even if they were “below” my reading level. They brought me comfort, one of the best things about books. Just because a child can read the words on a page doesn’t mean they’re ready to pick up the nuance of teen literature. Those books were not intended to be read by 9-year-olds, regardless of their academic ability. People often forget that gifted kids are at the same maturity level as their same-aged peers. Sometimes they’re even delayed in their social development! If you want your child to love reading, let them read what they want at home.
also I think my perspective on the last one is strongly biased by my difficulty in understanding how a reader could easily have a longterm relationship with a nonreading partner??😂 even though I have many friends who do!! (though I agree with your points that it sounds like the poster is trying to compromise! and of course that ADHD definitely affects her ability to reciprocate involvement)
My husband is not a big reader. Some years he maybe reads 1 book, others he finds a series he likes and many reads 5 or 6. We are currently listening to audiobooks together, though. Here's the thing, he has always supported my love of reading. When I know I have no business buying more books, he's there to say, "But you work hard, you've earned it." We live in a small town, so when I go someplace with book stores, he figures out how we're hauling them home. He asks what I'm reading. When I pause the TV to say I feel like reading early, he's always good with that, and that's when he tends to read as well. If I pick a movie based on a book I read, he asks how I think it compares. I told him a month ago there was a book convention in September of 2022 happening a 4 hour drive from here that I want to go to, and he immediately bookmarked the site, and kept an eye out for registration and room accommodations. I think the problem is when one person is a reader, and the other person has no respect for that, and no interest or hobbies of their own. If you would have asked teen me if I could see myself married to a non-reader, I would have said no. But as an adult I realize my only deal-breakers are someone who treats me poorly, and someone who doesn't love animals. So, I have a man who treats me great, supports my interests, and would take a bullet for our pets.
A-Z mysteries are perfect for 3rd graders. Some are actually quite hard to comprehend. I'm a second grade teacher and find that when kids can read books that are advanced they don't always understand the content with some of the higher level books. Classics are perfect for higher leveled readers!! Plus, kids are pushed so hard these days to be older, act older, read higher. Let kids be kids. Some of my best reading memories at that age were with kids' books and series like A-Z Mysteries, Magic Tree House, Kid Classics, etc.
That first one breaks my heart. Like imagine being the niece. Your parents get divorced, then your dad (I don't care about genetics. He was a father figure. In her eyes, that's her dad) completely cuts ties because of something your mom did when she was young, and then you lose even more of your family through your dad's selfishness. As a child of adoption, this obsession with blood relation only ever hurts the kid involved.
Right?? I can't believe someone would do that. It throws into question whether he ever loved his "daughter" at all. Def the AH.
It's so sad - I feel like kids are usually the ones who end up paying the bad behavior of the adults in their lives
Omg. Not religious based, but at some point our parents used then ”this is our house” thing on me and my sister. And she blurted out “this is your house and it’s OUR home… it’s gotta work for ALL OF US!” it was the “omg my big sister is a BOSS!” Moment when I was a kid lol
Let Rose read what she wants. 😭😭😭 She just wants to read children’s mysteries. I am so offended on her behalf.
AGREED
Librarian here, who had a kid whose teacher wanted to him to read at his level: Rose wants to read stories that are geared to her actual age. The A to Z Mysteries are on the level of The Boxcar Children. The parent needs to relax because Rose is doing just fine with her reading. If she wants to be helpful,, take her to the public library so she can get suggestions for other books from a children’s librarian.
YES so much yes. As you guys point out in the video, reading ability and maturity level are not the same thing. I had a reading level off the charts as a kid and just *knew* when something was too emotionally advanced for me. I tried A Wrinkle in Time too young and had to return to it later--same for wholesome adult fantasy like Terry Brooks when I was about 13--and I ended up starting Stephen King on my own like a year and a half later. Kids know what they're ready for.
I was the kid always wanting to read above my age, but I'm Team Rose. Mom certainly wouldn't like anyone telling her what she's allowed to read in her leisure time. And if Rose did go along and read those older books, mom would/should be there to help her with those topics.
I think most of us think kids are made to grow up too fast, and this little girl is just wanting to stay a kid for a little longer.
This is a really interesting to me. Is it maybe an American thing? To push so hard on the child's 'reading level'? Where I live literacy is definitely important thing that is well encouraged and developed in school. But we don't insist the child read more advanced just because they can. This is really confusing to me actually. 😅
my initial reaction to the Rose one was SO STRONG, oh my gosh. Let this girl read what she wants!! there's also a bigger discussion here on how arbitrary "reading level" is and how it's used as a substitute for quality, but even aside from that - why are they discouraging their child from reading?!!! as you said it doesn't sound like it's an age appropriate content issue - it's just this parent deciding that only one kind of book is acceptable
(also, speaking from experience, if you're a kid who reads a lot and who reads at a high level, you run out of "level appropriate" books very quickly!)
Reading level is... a questionable concept, for sure!
Mara- I am LOVING your recent videos. It seems that the new direction you've been taking your channel in is totally paying off (in my humble and wholly subjective opinion that is!). Was thoroughly entertained.
I wholeheartedly agree (also in my own humble and subjective opinion)
Thank you so much!! I've been having fun with a little more freedom
how DARE that man call himself a father to anyone if he cuts out his 11 year old for a betrayal she is in no way responsible for! I really hope the uncle gave the gift too.
3rd one - the withholding parent is definitely the asshole. I speak from the experience of being the mother of an advanced reader, a regular reader, and a reader who struggled for two years just to LEARN how to read. In all of these cases I let them read what they wanted provided it wasn't inappropriate, and they are all avid adult readers now. Adult as in the youngest (who was the struggler) is 26. He reads voraciously and I guarantee that if I hadn't given him the freedom (within reason, see below) to choose what he wanted to read, he would have given up on the whole business.
I know more about 90's and aughts mid-grade, YA, teen, etc. than I ever expected to in my life because to ensure that something wasn't inappropriate, I read everything they did. And by "inappropriate" I mean I wasn't going to let my 6 year old advanced reader bust out true crime books, graphically violent mysteries, sexually explicit novels, etc. She did, however, read Grey's Anatomy and Descartes...which I'm not sure were terribly wise of me to agree to at the time, but here we are. I partially hold my BFF Jill responsible for the Grey's, though. She's a critical care nurse and lobbied on my daughter's behalf. Now they talk about emergency brain surgery and other icky stuff.
TLDR; You cannot nurture your precocious child's desire and love for reading by denying them reading material that is age and interest appropriate just because it super-beyond their capabilities and YOU think they should be reading more advanced stuff.
1 Give the niece the books, 2 let Rose read what she wants, 3 It was terrible the dad threw out the books he should have talked to his son. 4 The artist and the author need to compromise. Mara and Kim, this was a great video
As a parent and a teacher with a master’s in reading instruction, I think it’s a terrible mistake to *demand* that Rose read books “on her reading level.” First, the best way to kill reading pleasure is to insist that the reader use only what you want them to read. Second, I think nearly all voracious readers do some relaxation reading. Further, figure out what Rose is interested in and show her some books on those subjects. Read with and to her. I certainly don’t want to read, say, War and Peace every day, but sometimes I do.
I get the feeling that the parent’s ego is slightly involved here. Just let the kid read.
FRANK PERETTI. What a pull. I *just* unearthed my copies of his books from my middle school youth group days in the back row of my double stacked bookshelves, so that was a weird coincidence that you mentioned him. 😂😂
Blast from the past!
I feel like the poster doesn't understand that a kid who reads at a higher level might still want to read books geared TO THEIR AGE! I can read and comprehend dense medical or philosophical books but that doesn't mean it's necessarily interesting to me... (the medical ones would be but the point stands)
Also that first story... 100% the father is terrible for cutting out his child/children because of the mom's infidelity and some genetic testing... what a harmful impact on his children
Edit: I'd be fascinated to see what other reddit users posted as their responses to these AITA queries
Totally agree! Even if the child can read at a higher level doesn’t mean that they want to. Although I can read some classic literature, it doesn’t mean that that’s my go to book. Especially if I want to relax from school. I might pick up a children’s classic or something more modern.
As a human from a house hold where there was a lot of fighting, I gravited towards horror because it helped me figure out these deep feelings I didn't understand
I love this video. Love you, love Kim. What a delight 🥰. I was literally cringing when you read about the family member with chocolately fingers picking up that person’s book 🥴
Maybe it was The Shadowside Trilogy because it’s $48 😂
Who puts their chocolately hands on other people's stuff?????
Can I have some more please? - in the tone of a Dickensian orphan. I really love the rapport between you! Would love to see more videos like this.
We'll see what we can do -- Kim is great :)
As a mom I feel terrible for these kids... one losing their whole family pretty much by no fault of their own and then poor Rose just wants to read books she likes! Like, just let her read.. I let my kids read whatever they pick out as long as they are appropriate.
This was so fun to watch! I love how reasonable you both are. I get a little heated when it comes to people not letting others read what they want to/damaging books 😅😅
Canadian here! I would totally give the books to the niece. She would enjoy and appreciate it. Why should she have to lose out when she hasn't done anything wrong?
This was such a fun video!! Your content has been great lately! So refreshing and creative!!! 😍 Also, Kim is great!!! I'd love to see her back for more "episodes" of AITA. It could totally be a Mara & Kim series! 😜
My half brother calls my mom his mom too even though she is his stepmom because she was the first woman in his life that actually treated him like a mom would. She raised him. This poor little girl lost her only father figure.
I am a book ruiner 😂. I don't mean to be but I have definitely dropped my books in the bathtub, dried it off, read it and kept it 😂... I didn't know breaking the spine was a thing. I intentionally break the spine to make it easier to read. I also throw away the book jackets or use them as bookmarks 😂. I wouldn't do that to someone else's books intentionally though.
"They both died thinking she was in our family" - she is in your family!! Regardless of whether he is the biological father or not, he is the only father the niece knows and the only family she knows. To cut her out like that and to tell everyone else in the family to do the same is a huge a**hole thing to do.
The way I used to tell my mom it was a federal offense when she sued to open my mail 😩😩
Omg Mara please watch Hill House !!
I may have to!
When I first saw the title I thought it was going to be talking about AITA scenarios based on characters' actions in books, but this was so much fun! What a great idea for a video, and it was great to see your friend Kim to get both of your perspectives. I agree with where you guys landed on every AITA post. The horror book one especially... oof. My mom has gotten more relaxed over the years, but I remember having to talk her into Harry Potter when they were being released, and she did once throw away a DVD I had of Dogma. Setting aside whether that was actually a good movie or appropriate for someone my age, it really hurt me that she threw away something I'd bought with my own money and it still sticks in my mind. And that was ONE thing, not several hardcover books that must've been more of an investment.
I thought it was going to be characters too. I loved what it turned out to be, but I'd love that too. AITA, character edition!
Oh interesting! I'll take that under advisement
Separate message: love the direction your channel is taking! This was especially interesting and entertaining. Loved meeting Kim.
Aw thank you!
you're both such fun and thoughtful people, really enjoyed this! also I love Kim, she nailed her BookTube debut! haha
Haha yes she crushed it!
I just discovered you and I am already a huge fan. You're terrific (both of you). I loved this segment, it was a new and fresh take for book tube. Great discussion. I have to leave for work and I don't wanna.... Happy New Year!
This was so fun to watch. You had great insights and gave great advice. Both of you are absolutely delightful.
Glad you enjoyed it!
This was such a fun video! I loved seeing such a nice friendship between you and Kim. I felt like I was right there with you pondering these scenarios.
Glad you enjoyed it!
Thank you for sharing Kim with us! Your rapport and dynamic really vibed with this format and was so enjoyable to watch. Seriously what a fun concept, and I cackled several times in addition to thinking thoughtfully about the issues - perf combo, IMO.
Glad you enjoyed it!
Love the content and banter with Kim!
Loved this❤❤❤ Is Kim single??? She is so cute! And loved her perspective. The first one she totally needs to give the niece the set of books! Second one, I'd be pissed!!! Especially if it was a collectible!
I'll let her speak for herself but... YES SHE IS A CATCH! :)
You 2 are so delightful on screen together. This was such a fun video
This was great! I was guessing the expensive paperback was a special edition of some kind. The A-Z Mysteries is a children's mystery series. They are very popular in school libraries like the I Survived! books.
You guys are so well matched as friends that my eleven year old came in and thought I was watch6the same person speaking in overlapping vids! Great content 😇
Aw, that's so sweet! We had a lot of fun doing this one
I could not love this video more! If more of these showed up on your channel in the future, I would be thrilled!
Oh lord the advanced reader kid. Just let her read what interests her! She might be able to comprehend at a 9th grade level, but she clearly doesn't enjoy the themes a 9th grader would. If I, a grown adult in my mid-late 30s, can be allowed to enjoy YA, this kid can enjoy whatever she wants!
haha i loved this so much and kim is a keeper
You got a thumbs up simply for the level of Canada appreciation at the beginning. I'll sign Kim's petition just have her send it over by beaver or moose mail.
We are lovers of the True North, strong and free! 🇨🇦
I think horror lover should have a friend keep his books and read them outside the house. Fits the letter of household rules and protects his privacy and interests.
I suggested that too -- if there's a friend who can be trusted to keep them safe, and then the friend has the use of the library too.
Also he might be able to have book orders delivered to the friends house so there’s no chance of his father taking them
Something similar might be good for the kid whose parent won’t let them read below their reading level. Just let kids read what they want, parents!
What a treat! Kim was such a great guest. Please do an advice channel/podcast!
I did really enjoy Kim being part of the video. ✨✨✨
Such a great mix of thoughtful discussions and humor. I really hope this becomes a series!
I hope so too!
This was such a great idea/video! Both of you had great responses. More!
Glad you enjoyed it!
I love the way you discussed these!! I just want to add that books like ACOTAR with graphic scenes are not YA they are New Adult books. They should be in the adult fiction instead of the YA section. It gets confusing because publishers were trying to more broadly market using covers, titles, etc, after the YA craze following twilight and the hunger games releases.
This was so fun! I loved hearing you two discuss these scenarios.
This was super fun! Yall would make an amazing podcast.
I was thinking the same! I loved this video and hope to see more along those lines, but definitely would make a great podcast
The first one was heartbreaking. That girl is going to need her uncle. I hope he does keep his promise and give her the books. I hope that her dad will get over his hurt and anger and be a dad to both of his kids (regardless of biological paternity). They did not create the problem. The adults need to deal with it.
love this idea!!! some of the AITA's get pretty wild haha. Excited to watch this and it's so fun to see you with your friend Kim!! ♥
Edit after I finished the video and yes I really love the format of this!! You guys bounce off each other well and I loved both of the point of views you guys brought to the table. I also really liked how open minded you both were instead of just jumping on the yeah you're the asshole train (I felt that for a couple of these haha). Great video!!
YES, PLEASE!! I would like more of these!! Really enjoyed this and your friend Kim (Godi luck with your citizenship!!). And they don’t all have to be book related either😁
I’m feeling bad for Rose. A lot of kids don’t mature in all areas at the same rate, so while she’s advanced intellectually, it sounds like her interests are pretty firmly in her age group. She probably can’t relate to the teenage angst of YA, so she’s not interested. Especially since she’s already reading more advanced stuff in school, I think it’s perfectly fine to let her read for fun at home. I know that what I think my kids should like and what my kids actually like often don’t match, but I’m just happy to see them reading voluntarily.
Omg the horror book story is too relatable. I'll never forget when my mom went through my backpack and found my library copy of Eragon. I was in soooo much trouble because dragons and magic are evil 🙈
I love this video. It was a lot of fun. Kim is cool too. Thanks for this.
Loved this video!! Kim is great and you two were very funny. I'm really enjoying the new type of content you're making
This was such a good video and great bookish advisements for tricky situations. Hope this becomes a regular feature of the channel.
Regarding the 16 year old with the father throwing out his books, I have a theoretical question for you both...in this age of criminal charges being held against parents (as well as civil litigation) for their minor children's actions, can you see a scenario that would justify the boundary violation and intrusion upon privacy? Not saying this example was that but parents are being held liable for actions where they "should have" had knowledge. What would you do in such a situation where there might be an indicator or red flag and you felt as a parent you have a presumptive legal duty to do due diligence...?
Can relate hard to #2 Book Maniac.😭 Sounds like a special edition Sci-Fi paperback? The chocolate-y fingers … 👊🤬
Loved this. It would be so fun if you did this again but responding to viewer comments / stories😃
This was such a fun video! I would totally listen to your advice podcast 😂
Glad you enjoyed it!
Gonna update my comment as i go! Total agreement on the first one. He's taking out his anger on a CHILD, and decided to cut ties with his genetic kid too, bc he's angry at the mom. And then demanding the whole family join in? Controlling behavior and abandoment all so he can keep feeling angry w no complications. Keep in contact w that girl bc she's gonna need support
Story 2. It's good they apologized, but did they really if they get all "well if you just knew better"? It is rude, but im glad this is not as serious as the first one lmao
Story 3. If you make kids read things they dislike, they will not read later. In order to enjoy her hobby and enjoy learning you need to let her go with what she likes first. Adults have enough life experience and understanding to go "I don't like this, but i wanna know more/its good for me to get out of my comfort zone". Kids are still cooking, and if you make her associate reading with no interest, a lack of boundaries and struggle, that will always be there. Also like it sounds like you aren't thinking of her as a person with interests who's love for things needs to be cultivated and encouraged, and instead like a video game pet who's stats you need to up. Ignore the stats the school system gives you and listen to your actual child first and foremost
Story 4. If the dad gets called a prick after acting like a prick and destroying someone else's belongings, that is simply a consequence. If the dad's upset about it and really thinks he did what's best (and is a good dad), then he would let his son express himself and not come away all butthurt. If he is butthurt, it really proves in the end he's not as in control as he imagines he is
Story 5. I do understand that being uncomfortable with others reading it even if you want them to read it, but I agree. Does he just say "nice" at the drawings? Bro, that is bare minimum. You should be able to talk about it. I talk to my siblings about their art way more than "nice". Use this compromise and also talk to your partner more
It’s totally a good time I loved this and I hope you do it many more times.
The first one the brother is totally the asshole. You aren’t supposed to abandon children like that and uproot their entire life. Biological or not. What a terrible person.
Way to ruin a love of reading for a child, banning them from reading the books they love ! Poor Rose.
This was so good, please make it as a regular series.
Loved this and basically agree with both of you on all of them. Would totally listen to your podcast! 😆
Yay, thank you!
Canadian here. I was summoned? What's that all aboot then?
🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦
haunting of hill house is so good but I found it wasn't really an adaptation of the book. so I just divorced the book and show when I watched it and found that really worked.
the thing where religious people are against horror is so interesting to me, because horror seems like such a natural interest when you are already growing up in an environment where the supernatural, miracles, and the existence of hell as an actively malicious entity are emphasised. also the Bible is super metal and creative in its cruelty sometimes.
It is interesting to think about those dynamics, because, yes, pretty much every "Christian horror" novel is basically assuming that the devil/demons are real and so it's not considered to be a variant of a fantasy novel in the same way that mainstream horror would treat those elements
I love AITA! Ya'll were so thoughtful in your answers though. I usually resort to name calling and harsh judgements lol
Everyone needs a Kim in their life 💖💖
Oh this was fun! Really liked both of your takes and hope you do more of these (if you want to of course) 😊
More to come!
thank you Kim
the only one where I will say "yes you're being an AHole!" is the 3rd one
let Rose read whatever she wants!
she's 9!!!
her not wanting to read things for teenagers does not reflect a failure as a parent and besides reading levels doesn't really make much sense anyway since some very easy to read books might be totally inappropriate for someone on that level
I kinda get the impression mom wants to be able to drop some adult titles that Rose is reading in order to brag to her friends.
@@michellerever3564 exactly!
to go so far as sayin that she does not mind that Rose reads as long as Rose reads what the original poster wants is super problematic
26:55 I'm glad someone is talking about that. Like I love both the book and tv show equally but they are completely different in my eyes. But it is really weird that he made the "protagonist" (it's a bit more of an ensemble cast, but he's MORE of the protagonist than the others) a man who wrote a book which included some direct quotes from the actual book that was, you know, written by a woman.
that was such fun! what a great idea. 👌🏻
your friend kim‘s a natural; so entertaining to listen to you both bantering. 😊
agreed with all of your judgments, but - i‘d like to throw this thought out for the last quandary:
what if she paints/draws perfectly nice, easy-on-the-eyes landscapes, but he‘s writing an encyclopedic tome about the cause, rise, prevention and treatment of std in ferrets?
just sayin‘…
I agree with your conclusions completely! Also, you two make a great analytical pair- please consider doing more together! If not in person, Zoom? Podcast?
The first story is heartbreaking!
On the same day Liene interviews Joe Abercrombie, Kim comes for Liene’s grimdark brand lol
this was so fun and Kim is great!
This was so fun to watch! What a great idea.
Glad you enjoyed it!
Here for all the Kim content!!!
Breaking the spine of a book drives me crazy but I think if you aren't taught not break a spine in a book you do it without thinking. Chocolate fingers though...😒
This was really fun content. Enjoyed hearing your and Kim's insights!
Omg Mara, I felt like having a stroke you explaining all of those messy family dynamics and it's only the first freaking story in the video 💀😭😂
I loved this video and would love to see more! For Story 5 I am going to take the ADHD approach here. Reading when you have unmedicated ADHD is incredibly hard. I start books and it can take me an entire year to finish them. If she has unmedicated ADHD and reading is something that is really hard for her to do and her brain just does not let her do it, it will be the most unenjoyable experience. If an ADHDer struggles with something that takes a long time their brain is highly uninterested and no amount of "trying harder" will help. I feel for both of them in the situation, cause I can understand wanting that kind of support. But ADHD makes anything hard when it's easy, trying harder doesn't work and it seems like he doesn't understand her ADHD or how difficult it would be to actually read. ADHD is so hard sometimes and people just don't understand it and how hard it can actually be.
One of the nicest guys I know loves horror books and movies. Whereas his horrible, just evil brother, hated them when he was alive. Their parents were pretty hands off about what they were allowed to read and watch as a kid, so you know, whatev with the dad. And at 16, I figure the kid is practically an adult, I was reading adult romances by then and by that time my parents didn't care too much what I read. (And would buy me romances with" interesting "covers for XMas and such, lol.).
This was so fun. I hope you do more videos like this periodically. :)
I hope so too!
Thank you! So fun! I was going to put this emoji 🙏 and then realized with what you’ve been through it might not be your fav - I’ve been emoji- oppressing!
Lol I am reclaiming it!
I just enjoyed listening. Great video. Thank you 😊
A to Z are juvie series, about 2nd and 3rd grade level type :) and also, I would probably let my kids read what they wish because I read what I wished and I have to work and hope that my parenting and education will help them be okay and keep lines of communication open so they can come to me with any questions.
Loved this format!
Loved the video!!!
Glad you liked it!!
That was super fun! 🌷
This was fun! Kinda reminds me of newspaper advice columns like Ann Landers, Dear Abby, Miss Manners, etc. (I'm old, lol), which I've always enjoyed.
Exactly!
Omg. I love this video. $40 for a book... do they live in Canada? Lol and please start a podcast together lol I hope your citizenship works out Kim. Canada would be lucky to have you!!
I also unironically love Cracker Barrel ✋ also, I had such a knee-jerk reaction to the little girl who just wants to read books for her age level 😤 let her read what she wants!
Cracker Barrel breakfast is the GOAT
Canadian here 👋🏼 Willing to sign whatever to help Katie get her citizenship 😊🇨🇦 This is such a great content idea!
Haha we will let you know if she needs a reference letter ;)
The ultimate crossover!!
As a parent to all levels of readers, I have seen the difficulty with finding level appropriate reading for a younger kid that isn’t about topics that are not interesting to the child. Also, OMG, the 16 year-old with the father who threw his books away….wow. I understand that there are people who think this way, but I look at anything like this (as a parent) as a teaching experience. If there is anything the kids have gotten that I may not be happy about, I don’t dismiss it but use it to engage in a conversation and possibly debate about the issues. Then, either allow it or compromise. My father did that with us and I find myself doing it with mine as well. When kids feel that you respect them as people, they are willing to be more open about all kinds of things. Interesting discussion y’all!
First person that wants to give books to his niece is a better uncle than his brother is a father. It's not only genetics that make a parent such, and not considering a child you raised as your own her whole life as not your child anymore because her biological father is someone else, is HORRIBLE, and that's not even mentioning ignoring his biological child! It's so selfish and narrow-minded! Some parents do not deserve to be parents.
Edit:
related to parents who police their children's reading. My parents were the opposite, and, on the contrary, I remember my mother giving me the thriller she had finished one summer on holiday when I was like 12, because I had already read all my books, and I'm now thinking "Really, mother? How on Earth did you think that was appropriate?"
I also hate "This is my house".... yikes. Sir, you decided to have children, and have the audacity to have the attitude as if providing for your child is an act of generosity? Like, yea that's your house, that I'm in because you decided to have kids, so don't act as if you're doing me a favour by letting me stay?
Umm, I think I can speak for all of your subscribers when I say, WE LOVE KIM! MORE KIM! ❤️
I’m just going to reiterate what many others have said about the girl whose parent won’t let her read what she wants. That’s the best way to turn a reader into a non-reader. I’m a school librarian and I would never expect my students to choose library materials based on their reading level. I also have some personal experience with this: I was an advanced reader in a self-contained gifted program in elementary school. My teachers assigned us books that were closer to our reading levels for literature study while also allowing us plenty of choice. I loved rereading my favorite books at home even if they were “below” my reading level. They brought me comfort, one of the best things about books.
Just because a child can read the words on a page doesn’t mean they’re ready to pick up the nuance of teen literature. Those books were not intended to be read by 9-year-olds, regardless of their academic ability. People often forget that gifted kids are at the same maturity level as their same-aged peers. Sometimes they’re even delayed in their social development! If you want your child to love reading, let them read what they want at home.
also I think my perspective on the last one is strongly biased by my difficulty in understanding how a reader could easily have a longterm relationship with a nonreading partner??😂 even though I have many friends who do!!
(though I agree with your points that it sounds like the poster is trying to compromise! and of course that ADHD definitely affects her ability to reciprocate involvement)
My husband is not a big reader. Some years he maybe reads 1 book, others he finds a series he likes and many reads 5 or 6. We are currently listening to audiobooks together, though. Here's the thing, he has always supported my love of reading. When I know I have no business buying more books, he's there to say, "But you work hard, you've earned it." We live in a small town, so when I go someplace with book stores, he figures out how we're hauling them home.
He asks what I'm reading. When I pause the TV to say I feel like reading early, he's always good with that, and that's when he tends to read as well. If I pick a movie based on a book I read, he asks how I think it compares.
I told him a month ago there was a book convention in September of 2022 happening a 4 hour drive from here that I want to go to, and he immediately bookmarked the site, and kept an eye out for registration and room accommodations.
I think the problem is when one person is a reader, and the other person has no respect for that, and no interest or hobbies of their own.
If you would have asked teen me if I could see myself married to a non-reader, I would have said no. But as an adult I realize my only deal-breakers are someone who treats me poorly, and someone who doesn't love animals. So, I have a man who treats me great, supports my interests, and would take a bullet for our pets.
A-Z mysteries are perfect for 3rd graders. Some are actually quite hard to comprehend. I'm a second grade teacher and find that when kids can read books that are advanced they don't always understand the content with some of the higher level books. Classics are perfect for higher leveled readers!! Plus, kids are pushed so hard these days to be older, act older, read higher. Let kids be kids. Some of my best reading memories at that age were with kids' books and series like A-Z Mysteries, Magic Tree House, Kid Classics, etc.