I'm Not Fine At All | Drafting Book 3
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- Опубликовано: 22 ноя 2021
- This is a bit of a raw writing vlog. BOOK 3 draft one starting off a little rough but i'm getting there. That post break up life be weird and confusing. Hope you're doing well. Thank you for watching!! Read my novel Better Together ► bit.ly/3fWYD2g | Again But Better ► smarturl.it/ABBPaperback |
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More details about my books on ► christinericcio.com
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website: christinericcio.com
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music used from: Public Domain & the youtube creator tools library & the Jinglepunk Library
My name is Christine Riccio! I love comedy and reading fantastic books. I make what I like to think are funny videos every Tuesday and other days of the week too about books and book related pop culture stuff! Hence the channel name polandbananasbooks. I also have a comedy channel if you're into that kind of thing winky face it's polandbananas20. I'D LOVE TO TALK ABOUT BOOKS WITH YOU. ALSO COMEDY. ALSO TV. ALSO MOVIES.
Hearing you talk about your anxiety issues is such a comfort to me, because it like reminds me that I'm not alone in these feelings. That there are other people out there that feel the way that I do. That I am not broken and I will come out the other side of this okay.
Love that for you!!💜💜
@@ashleyjoyes4425 love it
@@polandbananasBOOKS yes christian i get it about the angsoity thing. in the moment i just get all this negative crap coming at me all at once and i go into a meltdown it's overwhelming it pushes out the logic part that's why i have people around to point out to me that it will be ok and help me to find a better way to deal with it
Christine! I’m so proud of you! You got this! I’m so appreciative of your honesty and vulnerability in these vlogs. It’s so refreshing and comforting to know that as human beings we have good days and bad days, but we are going to come out of everything we do better and stronger. As always, I can’t wait to find out more about these projects. And I also hope conventions and events come back again soon! This is definitely inspiring me to get myself together before finals season kicks in ♥️
hearing you talk about your anxiety felt like i was listening to my own inner monologue about mine, thanks for sharing and i’m so happy you found a schedule that works for YOU! you’ve got this!!!
So nice to see your face, Christine. ❤️ I know you love to make videos because you love to create wonderful, fun content. I hope you know we appreciate seeing you on both your ups and downs. I’m so so proud of you for writing your THIRD (!!!!!) novel. Transitioning back to living alone and being a dog mom are both super difficult, but you’re doing the best you can. From the outside, it looks like you’re handling/juggling 50 jobs effortlessly. Just remember we all have those days and have felt just as powerless and sad. You are never alone with your community here. 😊❤️ I am and will always be supporting you and your endeavors.
AHHHH!!!! Just when I decided today was get-my-ass-moving-on-my-novel-day. Writing vlogs always help motivate me a bit to write!!!! I'm so excited for book three already!
Lol. Honestly, same! I've recently decided to return to my long awaited book series! This has been motivation for me too!
Solution: Hire Paul
Pros: +3 years IT experience, editing experience, trust
Cons: Working with family could either go great or terrible
I watched your videos religiously all through high school but fell off them when I had no time to read fiction in college. Now I come back and you've written multiple books???!!! I'm so happy for you Christine!!!!!
These writing vlogs are my vice and virtue, your hyping up spirit makes me feel SOO GOOD, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. Please take care of yourself and can I just say BELLAMY IS SO ADORABLE🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️😭😭 and your house looks so cozy and warm and just know we will always be here for you
I love your writing vlogs. I really connect to this anxiety spiral that you have seemed to go through for this start.
The anxiety spiral is my constant mood. I sometimes don't even know what is wrong with me or what is triggering it...
As someone who loves to stay busy, writes for multiple outlets at a time, & has anxiety OOF I related so hard. Thank you for being vulnerable about your struggles! It’s inspiring for me as I work through a similar phase of life 💙
I'm not an outliner, but I want to be. I watched all of the book 2 vlogs with the determination to outline better... then I watched this one 😜 The fun of writing without knowing the ending or every section is so much fun for me with my books. I'm glad you found the joy in writing again (and hope it is still joyful for you these months later)
Thank you for your honesty, Christine. Virtual hug! 📚 Practice self-care; even if it's just a 15 minute break. 📚 Happy writing! 🥰📚
Just the thought of having to do ALL the different things you do makes me anxious. You're really managing it as well as you possibly can even if you feel like you're not doing enough
Your writing vlogs are just the _best!_ They make me feel so happy, cozy, and productive! ❤ They make me want to get my life together. Aaaand your new apartment looks lovely! And, I relate to feeling anxious so much. I hope someday it'll get better for you, me and all of us that struggle with anxiety😔. Just know that there are many people out there who love you. We really do! I've been watching you for 7 whole years now, and I come back all the time for _you_ . Some days just are like that, you feel like nothing's okay and everything's wrong and you feel so lost and overwhlemed. It's okay Christine *hugs * . You're not alone in the way you feel. Some days I feel so shit for absolutely no reason at all or for the tiniest reasons, all I wanna do is just lock my door, hide from the world and cry into my pillow.
Also! With this whole "influencer" thing, Christine you are doing good! Even if you think you're not, you are. You are amazing and I can't even imagine managing as many things as you do at the same time!
I sympathise by your anxiety spirals, but also love it when you show them online. It makes all so much real, and makes me fell less pressured, because we all feel the same from time to time. Thank you so much
These past two years, and maybe even before then, I've kept feeling stuck and lost and like everything that goes wrong in my life it's my fault. I'm scared of my life and the future because I don't see how someone like me can ever get it right. But seeing you have your moments of crisis and sadness, eventhough I obviously hate you go through them and I'm really sorry, they made me feel a little bit less anxious about my own. You're someone I admire, with a bunch of talent and an amazing personality, and just like you have those moments and get to the other side, I feel like maybe I can too. I've also been writing this past month, but since I have no pressure this time, I feel like I've been doing well and have been creating something fun steadely, and I just realized I haven't been given myself credit for it, instead I've been feeling guilty about not doing anything else right, just because I enjoy writing. Thank you for sharing your work and process honestly, and I'm really happy you found a schedule that works for you
You’re not alone and I want you to know I love your videos so much and I wanna thank you for giving me the courage to continue writing my own books. You’re so amazing so thank you for being my inspiration! Have a wonderful day or night and please be safe! Thank you so much Christine for being my idol! 😊❤
Aww Christine, hearing your issues with anxiety and mental health makes me want to give you a hug. I can relate so hard. I'm always really hard on myself especially recently and watching your videos just make me feel like I'm not alone and it's okay if I feel down sometimes. Thank you for your videos they make my day and you are honestly amazing don't doubt that❤️️
thank you for sharing this process so candidly. It is so easy to feel as if you're the only person going through this (You even mention being alone in this feeling in the video.) but hearing you work through your anxieties like this has really helped me put my own into perspective. In a weird and small way we are all connected. I hope you're feeling better
I'm so glad you found a schedule that works for you!! The relief that comes with that sort of thing really is amazing. Thank you for being so open with your writing journey and experience - it really means a lot to many people. Proud of you for figuring out what's best for your mental health in order to keep doing the things you love
This video completely encapsulates my experience writing the first draft...for anything lol. Anxiety. Doubt. Fear. I'm not even on deadline and it always feels like I'm failing when the words don't come out perfectly. And I'm not even on an official deadline! It's such a battle pushing through the imperfect first draft of your story. I love how honest you are in this vlog. It really encouraged me and made me feel less alone as I work on my own novel. Thank you
This is the most relatable roller coaster I've ever watched 😅 Thank you for being willing to share your experiences as a writer and for being open about your mental health! ❤
Hey Christine, you are going to be great. I have a feeling for it. I have been all caught up in my studies for uni and it‘s been really stressful because I also constantly overthink my decision to study this subject. This video really made my evening today. Thank youuuuuu!
Since last year you've uploaded these videos when finals begin for me, and they truly make me feel less alone when I'm writing essays like crazy and losing my mind, so thank you! :)
28:34 omg I literally found dodie through the first time you mentioned 6/10 back in 2016, full circle
Wow... just got such a wave of nostalgia with that Typhoon lagoon song 🤣
This was so inspiring for me! I’ve taken a break from writing for a few years because I was fighting the anxiety you’ve been talking about and seeing you work through it and come out the other side was amazing
I love seeing that you are in fact a real person with your own struggles. It makes me feel so much better that I can relate to someone that I look up too so much! I love you Christine I have been watching for years! Keep up the good work
hi, Christine, currently I"m drafting an adult high fantasy book which was challenging but fun but then college got REALLY overwhelming and Im currently taking the rest of December off of writing because it's just too overwhelming, trying to do everything at once. and it was so relatable to watch your struggles and highs and lows writing!!! there are so many mental barriers one can hit!!!! ugh!!!
Just finished again, but better (I knoww I’m late) but I absolutely loved it!!! Made me all warm and fuzzy and I definitely didn’t cry at the end ;-) now I see this video!! Best day ever
SO HAPPY YOU ENJOYED IT
I can't believe it! Book 3! 🤯😱😍📚
stop no this vlog made me cry bc I can relate about the feeling like self care (the cooking lol) feeling like time wasting and then having to re-do stuff and the final product not being as good :( and having 'one of those days' feels like so many of my days sometimes 😭but we will get through them!! ♡ ♡ ♡ Also if you feel like you need to ""influence"" less, I will miss you but totally except it! Your personality comes out so much in your writing too! Do what you need to make your creativity/work the best! and the opposite too! if there's not another book for and extra amount of time because you want to youtube more, that's perfectly fine too! look after your mind first!
I feel that anxiety of stressing about not working on other projects when you're working on something. But so glad you worked it through and this vlog ended on a happy note!
Also I really appreciate you being so open about your anxiety because I've been struggling with mine a lot lately and it really helps knowing I'm not alone and that we all have good days and bad ❤️ i cannot wait to see what your next projects are :)
Christine you are so strong and obviously enough. I know our minds can be a chaotic place so thank you to share this part of you with us and let us see we are not the only ones.
I absolutely love this style of writing vlog. It feels so much more personal. So much of following people on the internet is empathizing with them and I love and admire how real you are with the world! Can’t wait for the next one lol
These vlogs always feel like i’m watching a friend, i’m so thankful that you take us on a journey with every book and that you’re honest and vulnerable about your process. Also these always make me feel like I could write a book knowing full well it’s not for me lmaooo.
You're doing great Christine you have such positive energy you're delicate i was reminded by Taylor swift's song delicate i have anxiety too but just watching you i'm already smiling i love you take care of yourself ❤️
I feel you so hardcore on the anxiety. I really appreciate you being so open about that stuff, because it makes me feel less crazy.
First of all: *gentle hugs* Second, this is random, but to help your stiff pinky, you might consider getting some fingerless support gloves like they make for knitters/crocheters and wearing them while you type. I have two pairs and actually double them up while I write (and crochet... that's how I found out about them😂) and they support things so well and help me avoid straining my hands! I actually feel weird now if I don't have them on because that compression and support feels so good and now I associate it with focusing and working.
I feel the exact same way about cooking right now. I used to live with my sister and I would cook a full meal for her every night. But a couple months ago, we moved to new places. Now I feel no drive to cook. I used to love it but now I hate it. It’s like cooking doesn’t matter if it’s just for me. I have better days than others and I’m hoping things will get better in the future. Just know that you are not alone. You are loved and you are great. I wish all the best to you.
I struggle with trying to get multiple things done in one day too, and I really didn't expect to feel so reassured and validated after you talked about blocking out whole weeks to get just one thing done at a time 😭 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS VLOG I loved it so much 💖💖
The video I’ve been waiting for!! I love both yours and Kat’s writing vlogs. They are my favorite videos to watch and I love both of you. You make my day shine no matter what and inspire me, giving me motivation to do what I love, that it’s writing. So thank you so much for doing it and putting on all this effort to bring this amazing content even though you’re going through a tough time. You’re not alone, and we’ll always be here to support you. Thank you for being yourself and for showing us that we are not alone either. Please stay strong, practice self care, drink water and just give your mind a little peace. Love you, hope you’re doing better ✨
ahhh the book 3 vlogs have begun!!!!!!!!!! im so excited!! I remember watching the again but better vlogs :)
these bring me so much comfort 😭💓💓
Istg I can’t stop smiling every time I watch ur videos, Christine!!!
Really glad that you're feeling so much better, the contrast between the last two clips was stark.
I absolutely loved this video, felt so calming and real
This video is me to a T! Thank you for being so vulnerable about your anxiety. I love your videos and books! 💜
But also thanks for sharing those vulnerable moments, definitely makes me feel better about my own anxiety trips, and you are great period
This year I decided to leave the country to teach English in South Korea and I knew coming here that I wanted to try and write what I could for a book idea I've had. I get stuck so easily because it involves world building. I have more luck figuring out characters than the story plot so I've been on and off with writing so much. I wanted a solid outline done before November and we're almost into December. It's a mess. I love watching your videos. I've been feeling so starved of connection because I'm so far away from my family, so I definitely have been having bad days and good days. Trying to always look ahead.
Taylor Swifts album? Adele’s album? And now a writing vlog from Christine? I’ve been fueled and am opening my project doc for the first time in actual weeks.
Sending all the good writing juju and wishes for good mental health days 💜
This video is so freaking accurate to my own writing process, all the ups and downs and doooowns and ups again :D I can relate to you so much!
Love you Christine!! Glad you were able to end this video in a happier mood. Rooting for you and will always be in your corner. :)
This is inspiring me so much to be more productive even just getting dressed for the day if I'm not leaving the house Idk how to explain it. Also I've been meaning to start writing and after watching this I'm definitely going to. Love you Christine
I was smiling so much watching your “Circus” line clip, you ARE a joy to watch
Yay! Book 3 on the way!
Christine!! I just finally finished reading Better Together and I loved it!! I really really loved the rooftop dinner scene and all the characters involved- Z and his “boss” and the finance!!! (I may or may not have flailed when I read who was in that scene…)
Yea hire an editor, Christine! Just have them binge your favorite videos you’ve made and are the most proud of and I’m sure they can replicate your editing style 😊you are so creative and editing might not be serving you right now 😘
I totally agree with you on the outlining thing, it is hard! Like I tried to do it, and my critique partner said, there really is no wrong way to do it, but it just turned into a book itself. So, I just said to myself, "You know what? You started pantsing it, you might as well continue."🤣 Anyway, I feel you about the mental health thing, this yea (2022) was not a good year for me, so many bad things happened, and it is so hard to focus on anything. But, I like writing, because it's an outlet that I can get away from everything. P.S. I know, what you're talking about with the bathroom is true, I was so engrossed in editing my short story, that I was too lazy to go to the bathroom. 😆
I’m with you Christine! I injury myself too this year and had to go to physical therapy! Did all the exercises and when I returned to work and I stopped doing them. 😩
Love watching your writing videos because they always spark the motivation in me to continue writing and I love it, always a pick me up…. But I’m not going to lie about the amount of anxiety I felt while watching you feeling so anxious! 🥲 both as a writer and a dog mom I felt it and I freaked about about all the writing I’m not doing! I’m sorry you were feeling like this, I hope you are doing well!
I have been in such a writing slump for months. I sent my draft out to beta readers in June and then I just haven’t gotten back into editing. I’ve written a couple short stories, but I’m so anxious that I haven’t worked on my book. The more time I spend away from it, the more I think that maybe I should move on to another idea, but that makes me anxious too.😂 I’m glad you’ve figured out your schedule! I definitely need to set one for myself!
I know you might hate it Christine, but you are an influencer, the best kind though. You're the kind of influencer who opens up about difficult times. I'm having a bad day myself, the kind of day the usually ended in a neverending self-pity spiral. What really helped me was to accept that I would always have those kind of days and just remember that this is not permanent. Even if it feels like it at the time, like the whole world is crumbling around you, just remember that there will be a better day tomorrow or the day after. If you just let go the need to be okay right at that moment, you'll be okay faster. At least that's my experience, maybe it can help you. Have a great day!!! We're all here supporting your journey... ^^
Hi Christine! I have watched your RUclips videos for a long time and have watched you for as long as I can remember. I live in Australia, so I haven't been able to find any of your book until one day I found Again, But Better. I read it in a couple days and loved it so I bought it fo a friend. Thank you for sharing your story!!
Love the Folklore sweatshirt!!
Sending so many *huuuuuggggssss* ❤❤❤ I've been feeling like I need to write but then paralysed by the "it needs to be good" and then that acceptance that I need to rearrange everything and then go from there cos act 1 needs to be stable to make act 2 make sense 🤦♀️
and then on top of that I've been hella brain dead bc I've just started a new job I'm way out of my depth in and there's nothing left to write with at the end of the day cos I'm so mentally tired 😬 idk I'm accepting that and giving myself the time to just breathe and ill get to it when I can function again 😅
With all of this, something that's helped is meal prepping, so when I have the energy I make my favourite big batch food (so spaghetti and chilli and soup tbh). Then I freeze what I don't eat, then when it's dinner and I can't be arsed to cook - make some pasta/rice, defrost a left over and boom, done in like 10/15 mins.
Ngl there's days I do just have mac n cheese, sometimes w brocoli, sometimes pizza, sometimes a whole tub of Ben &Jerry's... its not perfect but it is what it is. Eggs are also great for fast food, especially at lunch cos then I'm like okay at least I've had something nutritional and I don't feel as guilty when I deflate on the sofa later...
Idk writing is hard enough without your brain making it hard too :/ sending hugs and love ❤
Yayyy a writing vlog! I feel more motivated to write now :)
You can do it Christine!!!!! 💪❤
Thank you for talking about your anxiety!!!
My anxiety is always less when I go on walks in nature. 🍁 autumn leaves falling like pieces into place
best bookmark every. miss ma'am you're the best!
Listening to you talk about your anxiety makes me feel like I'm not alone when it comes to this mental health stuff. Thank you so much for being brave enough to share how you feel with us I've been watching you for 8 years now and you always bring a smile to my face 😊. If you still wanna branch out and try salad more, there's a place in Calabasas called Health Nut that has really good salads. I'm not sure how close you are to the valley but every time I come home from college I crave one of them haha. I think there is one in Sherman Oaks as well.
Omg I’m so excited to see an apartment tour one day of this place!! You made it so cute!!
this vid really inspired me to write after finishing up my film school studies ive felt stunted and lonely as a writer but this vid really helped :)
In case anyone else needs to hear it:
Monotask. Monotask monotask monotask. We've been taught we need to juggle 50 things at once to be enough and it just isn't true. Most things can wait. Most deadlines can be extended.
Whatever you feel you need more than anything - sleep, water, food, a good cry, caring for someone dependent on you, talking with someone or not talking with anyone - that's your priority right now and the only thing you need to focus on. We'll fall back into crisis mode and multitask on occasion because life doesn't wait for us, and that's not our fault. We can still take a step back at the first opportunity available to us and start thriving again.
also I recommend From Blood and Ash for a good distraction
Hey Christine, I want to tell you that I had that Disney sing along tape and totally remember that! You’re not alone
So my writing project right now is going to be a book crime series. If I could ever get it off the ground. I'm the kind of person that will write, rewrite, write again then rewrite for the umpteenth time, which is why this project isn't getting passed page like 3. Lol.
Also, I loved the fact that you shared that you were struggling there for a bit. I feel like we as writers tend to forget that we aren't alone in these feelings. So thank you for the reminder.
Currently reading "Maybe you should talk to someone" and after watching your video I just want to send you love 💜 I hope talking to us through your videos helps you feel better, and I hope you can keep working on your mental health, through a therapist or the support of your love ones.
Thank you! 🤗 I have a therapist I see regularly 🖤
I hope you're feeling better Christine :)
Ah I love your writing vlogs so much!! 🖤 I'm drafting my first novel and getting SO CLOSE to 100k even though I'm still a decent ways off where I think it'll actually end so I'm hard relating to the overwriting struggles!!
Sending so much love to you. ❤❤❤❤❤
purrr bestie let’s gooo
Best of luck, Christine! You've got it!
I think maybe hiring a part-time video editor within the book community might work, hopefully one would reach out to you first!
As for me, I am in the process of looking for a job as a new grad. It's been overwhelming but I'm taking it day by day.
I loved this video Christine!
Would live book sprints on Booksplosion be something that you and the others might be interested in doing? The book sprints could be for both reading and writing. You could set a timer for reading a chapter (or two, or more) sprints, and then discuss the chapter/s during the breaks . . . or you could set a timer for writing sprints, and then have a writing discussion during the breaks. Or do both at once. You could have sprints where some are writing, and some are reading, and then have short Q & As during the breaks.
All the Taylor Swift content yessss
Are u planning on doing an apartment tour and maybe random facts about favorite items in each room?
Christine!! Hello bestie! In need of a burst of energy from you after teaching my (final!!!) lesson
You inspired me to do an outline of a book. Im literally not an author at all im just gonna write it why not right lol
yay!!! 🤗✨
I don't like kitchen stress either im like you soup and salad work for me ! plus coffee gots to have that :P
We had that Disney video! (Evan’s mom)
You have a good soul.
does it get easier to write with every book? like i want to write but i have no motivation and i feel like once i actually finish a story i'll know i CAN do it? and like i'll know exactly what it takes and so i feel like if i could ever finish something it would be easier to write other things? and i wouldn't lose motivation halfway and just give up and keep writing the story in my head only?
i'm super excited for book 3! really enjoyed the other books and can't wait for this one even though you're only just starting the writing process
and I might be ok but I’m not fine at all 🧣
When you said "set yourself free" and you said Disney, I thought you were going to say the song "set yourself free" from Tangled the Series. The tv movie and show is so good and underrated
OH MY GOSH I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THAT DISNEY VHS
I REMEMBER THAT DISNEY SIGN A LONG hahahaha