A Sex Therapist Explains: What Is The “F**k First” Rule?

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  • Опубликовано: 1 авг 2024
  • Too tired for sex at the end of the day? We’ve all been there. This is SUCH an understandable situation that happens all the time - and we’ve got the cure! Check out this video for one our favorite sex tips of all time!
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    Hi! We’re Vanessa and Xander! We specialize in helping people stop feel so embarrassed about sex, and start having way more fun in the bedroom. We’ve been affectionately nicknamed “that sex couple” by our followers for our frank discussions of the modern challenges faced by modern couples.
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Комментарии • 102

  • @Maryland-WatchWatch
    @Maryland-WatchWatch 5 месяцев назад +170

    Been married 51 years.
    ALWAYS Fuck First!!!

  • @blancaperez3470
    @blancaperez3470 5 месяцев назад +82

    I had sex right before my wedding. We got it out of the way and enjoyed the rest of the wedding ceremony and reception. It was the best set up!

  • @whitey4909
    @whitey4909 5 месяцев назад +118

    Ive been saying this for years, i think it a great way to break down any barriers and i feel totally relaxed afterwards and so does she. Its animalistic and natural.

  • @jleano609
    @jleano609 5 месяцев назад +181

    My now wife and I fell into this quite early while dating. Often we hadn't seen each other for a few days and when we met up on saturday evening we'd just have sex first and then go out and enjoy dinner drinks etc in that nice post sex afterglow where we're both happy and close and it was SO MUCH nicer, like sharing a secret joke with each other.

  • @diggerkropkapl
    @diggerkropkapl 2 месяца назад +43

    So basically, prioritize what's important in a relationship. Sex is very important, other activities are also nice, but usually not as important in a relationship. Seems like a solid advice, thanks!

  • @ThereseElene
    @ThereseElene Год назад +179

    My man and I don't live together yet, though we see each other a lot. Every time we meet we cuddle naked in the bed, before anything else. Sometimes it leads to sex or sensual energy. But most important it just connects us so well. We feel very intuned and in love 🙏🏼❤

    • @davidmorin6667
      @davidmorin6667 5 месяцев назад +10

      He is a lucky guy

    • @pbohearn
      @pbohearn 3 месяца назад +2

      That’s really awesome because it certainly one thing that you don’t do with anybody else

  • @erikt1713
    @erikt1713 5 месяцев назад +65

    Makes sense. In case going out gets you inb the mood again you can also do it again at the end of the evening.

  • @Milkman3572000
    @Milkman3572000 5 месяцев назад +42

    I totally agree. I prefer morning fun, start the day off right.

  • @watchparty1
    @watchparty1 5 месяцев назад +41

    Ha. I figured this out with my girlfriend and found it to be immensely better as you describe. Definitely a good rule that I'll pass on.

  • @TheProph7
    @TheProph7 Год назад +53

    I love how you both talk about topics like this in a positive way and as fact based as possible with your own suggestions to move things along. I really enjoy content that make me think about the topic and your videos do a great job of that!

  • @happyhome41
    @happyhome41 2 месяца назад +6

    We got into the habit of enjoying togetherness after a shower. Just felt good. And yes, with children at home, frequency fell waaaaaaay off. Empty nesters, not so much. Your ideas are all tools in the tool bag. Thank you !

  • @16vr68
    @16vr68 5 месяцев назад +29

    Right after a lunchtime workout is best, followed by a half hour or so cuddle, then late lunch. In evening, before movie is good bc you can relax during film.

  • @billbrobaggins221
    @billbrobaggins221 2 месяца назад +1

    Incredibly happy to see that I mislead myself with the title and this video turned out to be pretty awesome. Well done.

  • @RoquenGriseus
    @RoquenGriseus 5 месяцев назад +7

    Brilliant advice! Beautiful video :)

  • @gsdgroup1428
    @gsdgroup1428 2 месяца назад +6

    great advice, I personally think sex should always be priority/first (unless time is an issue) I think the moment you start to push sex to last on the list, end of the day (especially if you don't have to) thats the beginning of problems

  • @diytwoincollege7079
    @diytwoincollege7079 Год назад +37

    Great idea. That’s like ordering dessert first. 🎉. Last time we did this we ended up with kid#3, but that doesn’t have to happen in everyone’s situation.

  • @JeffRyman69
    @JeffRyman69 5 месяцев назад +9

    For my late wife and me morning was always best.

  • @hkguitar1984
    @hkguitar1984 5 месяцев назад +2

    Great advice, Thank You

  • @jimstone3951
    @jimstone3951 4 месяца назад +4

    First time I've seen you two, I thought you were great, thank you.

  • @geno5169
    @geno5169 5 месяцев назад +8

    I love how open with sex in a relationship! In a marriage! I need this kind of help! Where coming up on 33 years ! Thank you 🙏 for your amazing advice to get us!

  • @joedalessio8538
    @joedalessio8538 9 месяцев назад +5

    Great content

  • @user-od3zt4dg6p
    @user-od3zt4dg6p 2 месяца назад +3

    Always in the morning❤ much better

  • @dannyerlebach6631
    @dannyerlebach6631 4 месяца назад

    great advice vibes and channel thank yyouuu

  • @jeniferrampasard7250
    @jeniferrampasard7250 5 месяцев назад +1

    Thanks For Sharing

  • @missmacy4527
    @missmacy4527 4 месяца назад +4

    This is an amazing advice my husband and I also got from our therapist. This and to try exploring our bodies with the Dot or a similar device. I believe that saved our dead bedroom life the most. That and weeky date nights. ❤

  • @paulparkinson1379
    @paulparkinson1379 5 месяцев назад +2

    I love the idea it's clear to me that you have a wonderfully healthy relationship

  • @shadowr2d2
    @shadowr2d2 Год назад +11

    ❤ Thank you 🙏 for posting this video. You have a new subscriber. Keep up the great work..

  • @BlackieNuff
    @BlackieNuff 5 месяцев назад +1

    A very simple idea, but with big payoffs. Great video.

  • @AJC4866
    @AJC4866 5 месяцев назад +8

    And you can get round two when you get home!

  • @walkerb1734
    @walkerb1734 Год назад +26

    I LOVE this rule!! Makes all the sense in the world.

    • @geno5169
      @geno5169 5 месяцев назад +1

      You and your lover does the same as we do. ‘My wife and I lay next to each other on our couch! Where holding each other! Kissing

  • @user-rs4gy9ze4o
    @user-rs4gy9ze4o Год назад +2

    I love a lot of this chanel

  • @lilamiumi
    @lilamiumi 5 месяцев назад

    This is such juicy advice! Love ittt!! So much spicier than after a meal dinner!

  • @warrengomez67
    @warrengomez67 4 месяца назад +1

    Underrated advice 😂

  • @lmtada
    @lmtada 5 месяцев назад +17

    I’ll do this when I go visit my future in-laws. I’ll be smiling when I talk to them, and keeping my thoughts to myself about what your daughter and I have been doing prior to visiting. 😊 FF.

  • @johnduffy6546
    @johnduffy6546 11 месяцев назад +43

    Great content! Could have really used it 45 years sooner but, much appreciated.

    • @kbanghart
      @kbanghart 9 месяцев назад +2

      Lol

    • @stephenluke2347
      @stephenluke2347 5 месяцев назад

      ME TOO now chance would be a fine thing with the one ad only

  • @ShelbyMustang505
    @ShelbyMustang505 5 месяцев назад +9

    on date nights my wife and i would go to my office at work first before going out to dinner. Obviously it was empty and quiet and also was a bit like having sex in a place you shouldn't so added to the excitement. Because exactly as you say after dinner and going home it just didn't work.

  • @pzubets
    @pzubets 2 месяца назад

    Definitely gotta try it

  • @marklubecke4854
    @marklubecke4854 5 месяцев назад +1

    Intriguing idea, maybe even a great idea, have to give it a try.
    (This after 45 yrs. Of marriage.)

  • @6254KLR
    @6254KLR 2 месяца назад

    This would be wonderful!!!

  • @vonfitbjj-podcast
    @vonfitbjj-podcast Год назад +3

    Yes.

  • @VallinSFAS
    @VallinSFAS 5 месяцев назад +17

    This is a lot like 'Annie Hall' when Alvy asks Annie to kiss him first to avoid the anxiety hovering over the whole date.
    "Good. Now we can digest our food."

  • @GameTime-yj6qv
    @GameTime-yj6qv 5 месяцев назад +8

    Its a great idea. I don't get bloated much or drink, and I'm a night owl so I'm down for sex pretty much at any time even if its late. But my wife does get sleepy, tired, or not in the mood the later it is. Plus you never know things that might come up like traffic or the baby sitter having to leave earlier than expected and then there isnt time for sex. By doing it first, it ensures both partners are not sleepy or tired, and that you have time for it. Also you can enjoy the date and being together better because it doesnt feel like you just want to get through it to get to the sex part lol.

  • @stephenkilpatrick807
    @stephenkilpatrick807 4 месяца назад

    I agree 100%.

  • @bobloblaw10001
    @bobloblaw10001 3 месяца назад

    Cute couple, simple but good advice

  • @dongarber9731
    @dongarber9731 6 месяцев назад +2

    Yes!

  • @1polonium210
    @1polonium210 4 месяца назад

    I'm ok with that!

  • @richardstewart7830
    @richardstewart7830 5 месяцев назад +1

    I've Always believed in this Rule✅

  • @tips4truckers252
    @tips4truckers252 4 месяца назад

    Love it

  • @austinsummers8318
    @austinsummers8318 4 месяца назад

    New move unlocked

  • @volkerr.
    @volkerr. 4 месяца назад

    First rule?! Just do it 😂😊

  • @earthman3000
    @earthman3000 Месяц назад

    I like the concept only problem is I’m a married man.

  • @jackdeniston6150
    @jackdeniston6150 2 месяца назад

    Saturday afternoon. Then go out

  • @jimlongley9531
    @jimlongley9531 Год назад +7

    My wedding night.

    • @Robert-xs2mv
      @Robert-xs2mv 5 месяцев назад

      Sex before the wedding, such a novel idea.

  • @BluegillGreg
    @BluegillGreg 5 месяцев назад

    Do it in the laundry room with the TV on.

  • @allaudione
    @allaudione 5 месяцев назад +1

    Sure that happens - we just did it in the morning - no problem.

  • @robertestrada434
    @robertestrada434 4 месяца назад

    Happens all the time

  • @DaveAW
    @DaveAW 5 месяцев назад

    Hmmm, before or after? Do both 😁

  • @victormiranda9163
    @victormiranda9163 5 месяцев назад

    all the time. every time

  • @kthx1138
    @kthx1138 5 месяцев назад +3

    Yes. Plus, after a big meal, there's a tendency to fart, a guaranteed sex killer.

  • @Taureanfitness
    @Taureanfitness 5 месяцев назад

    I completely agree, for me I have a lot of stomach and digestive issues so I will always have sex first. + I work up an appetite

  • @wadecrawford6445
    @wadecrawford6445 4 месяца назад

    Happens every time. I hate it.

  • @wallacebonner7939
    @wallacebonner7939 5 месяцев назад +1

    What happens if you never make it out to your dates?

    • @janetbanks7418
      @janetbanks7418 28 дней назад

      Winner, Winner. Chicken dinner!! 😉😉

  • @diytwoincollege7079
    @diytwoincollege7079 5 месяцев назад +2

    It’s like having dessert first. ❤

  • @Portia620
    @Portia620 2 месяца назад +1

    Have a first you are bloated now so dinner last!!! Always a first!

  • @rorybeckstrom9602
    @rorybeckstrom9602 5 месяцев назад

    Lol this happens more often than not

  • @edwizard62
    @edwizard62 5 месяцев назад +1

    I've been doing this for 40 years.

  • @loosechains2846
    @loosechains2846 Год назад +2

    😃

  • @bobhum7064
    @bobhum7064 5 месяцев назад +1

    It's just like dinner if you go to dinner and you want to third when you're done with dinner. But you're full so if you have your dessert first and then eat dinner, you get both.

  • @happysalesguy
    @happysalesguy 5 месяцев назад

    Sex is way better before dinner and drinks than after.

  • @tatyanab.6797
    @tatyanab.6797 2 месяца назад

    100%

  • @JazzyJae88
    @JazzyJae88 4 месяца назад +3

    If we fucking first we won’t be going to whatever we planned. 😂

  • @user-df8us8ob4v
    @user-df8us8ob4v 5 месяцев назад

    Hilarious 😂😂

  • @lowandslow3939
    @lowandslow3939 4 месяца назад +1

    Eat desert first!

  • @TheDanSavage1
    @TheDanSavage1 4 месяца назад +2

    It may just be that you end up spending the whole date night in bed, which happens to me ALL. THE. TIME. Not a bad thing at all!
    Yes, my name is Dan Savage.
    NO. I'm not that Dan Savage, but I know him, and we live in the same city. We laugh about it when we bump into each other in person and online.

  • @Chrishagen
    @Chrishagen 5 месяцев назад

    So romantic

  • @danieloc9
    @danieloc9 5 месяцев назад

    👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

  • @cachi-7878
    @cachi-7878 2 месяца назад +1

    But everyone knows you sleep like a baby after having sex; at least men do.

  • @pm71241
    @pm71241 5 месяцев назад +2

    Yeah... On my wedding night, when we got to the hotel, my wife was so tired, she just wanted to relax and watch speedway.
    ...in her defense, we held the after-party in a swingers club 😂

  • @sammyrothrock6981
    @sammyrothrock6981 5 месяцев назад +1

    Hell yeah eat the cheesecake first then have the main course!

  • @BraddahHuna
    @BraddahHuna 7 дней назад

    It’s been 22 years since I had sex with my wife, so I don’t know. 🤷‍♀️