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As a socially awkward, shy introvert, I had never danced in my life until 5 years ago. I had no rhythm but I stuck with the group lessons even when my brain said “you suck, run away now, you’ll never figure this out!” I fought my inner critic and now I’m more than a good enough lead. It’s has been the funnest thing to do and many patient follows, of all shapes, sizes, ages, and levels of gorgeousness have helped me. I’ve learned skills and confidence that has translated into other parts of my life, especially with relationships. I can’t stress enough; if you want to improve your life, learn to dance.
Yes. I, too, would like to thank all the women who were kind to me. I never forget them. Many dropped off the scene, but whenever I see them, I make a point of dancing with them. It does not matter that they are still at the beginner level.
There are absolutely no better or easier way of meeting and interacting with women of all ages than dancing. Not the venues with the deafening music and strobe lights mind you. You have your face a foot from hers while dancing and her fill attention. I had a phone overflowing with their numbers. It boosted my confidence though the roof. And, oh yes, Im a five on a good day! 😊
As a retired expat living in Latin America, I noticed a big difference between older North American women and Latinas in dance classes. The American women wouldn’t let you lead. They’d pull you this way and that and complain that you weren’t as good as the instructor, and even stop dancing with you (but not with the Latinos, even if they couldn’t dance a step). Some would even run off to line up to dance with the instructor. The Latinas however would smile and help you out and would even be happy just to dance the most rudimentary steps if that’s all you knew. They’d only get mad if for some reason you stopped leading. A male dance instructor friend of mine noticed exactly the same thing, as did another male fried who is a very good dancer. Eventually I realized that taking classes that had no English speaking students was much better.
@@marcosreal11 most female dancers who don’t let you lead have never danced partner dance properly and feel that the lead has to force them. They are used to shaking their bodies wildly in a rock concert or in a disco or something like that. Experienced leads will almost truss them up. I asked one really good male dancer about this and he said that he uses both his hands all the time and will even grab the women’s left shoulder with his right hand when turning her with his left hand so that she doesn’t spin off in some random direction. It is really not enjoyable. Ideally, a lead is very soft and sensual; the best dancer I danced with in my life was ultra responsive. So don’t fret over rude and incompetent people.
Dancer of 13 years here, I started with salsa, a few months after that I picked up bachata and a few years later kizomba too, also learned son cubano, cuban cha-cha, argentin tango, some rock & roll/jive, cha-cha, waltz, you name it. I'm a pretty good dancer (top 1% without exaggeration), women regularly ask me for dance and ask me in which dance school do I teach? (I don't, it's just a hobby of mine, not my profession.) Also I'm Hungarian, not American, so take this with a grain of salt, because the social environment can be vastly different. All the things you said about dancing and the dancing scene is mostly true, but I would like to add some nuance. Dance is good for young men, because: - You learn a new skill which is attractive to the other sex - You get used to be around women, how to interact with them, hopefully learn some etiquette - You learn how to control your and your dance partner's body - As you get better at dancing you gain self-confidence - You learn how to handle rejection (because in the beginning you will face plenty of rejections, altough not nearly as much as outside the dance floor IRL) I encourage everybody to try out at least one social dance for 6-12 months, if it's not your cup of tea, you didn't lose much, if it is, like in my case, you get a lot of great experience from it. But there is a huge caveat: don't think that if you learn to dance like a pro, you suddenly become the latin gigolo who all the women want to dance and eventually hook up with. Dance is just another tool in your toolset to attract women, like masculine physique, game, style, charisma, humour, status, wealth, etc. I've seen lot of women going for the tall, athletic, handsome, well dressed guy even he was just a mediocre dancer at best. If you want to attract women relying solely on your dance skills, prepare for some very fierce competition, because hypergamy is very real. Search for the video titled "Comadreja Salsa Congress 2013 Social Daniel Sánchez & Ladies - I". Dozens of girls were waiting in line for half an hour just to dance with him for half a minute, because he was the best dancer at that time. At such an event there are hundreds of guys who are very fun to dance with, but instead all those girls were waiting for the alpha of the dance floor.
I 💯 agree... One more thing, if your girlfriend suddenly begins to frequent a couple dancing course - either join the class she is in and learn it with her - or start to worry - The countdown has begun 😂
I started dancing 2 years ago. Latin Ballroom. So rumba cha cha and swing - and now tango. After 2 years I was able to perform 2 showcases in front of a crowd for an annual winter ball. And I haven’t stopped. Also being around the female teachers. Who are so sweet and attractive. Has been so good for my mental health. Even though I’m not dating them. Just being around them has helped tremendously. Being able to talk to a woman about my weeks. My days. Inner thoughts. Like there’s so much more to it than just dancing
Here in Latin America there are a lot of salsa classes, if you are engaged in a long term relationship and if you go u have to exchange your partner with other dudes in order to make it more dynamic but the reality is you may ended having your partner making giggles and laughing with other dudes, I I go, I go alone and single, these chicks are looking for a duded with good dancing skills xd
Years ago I did a bunch of work in Monterrey Mexico and learned they have quite a dance culture. Get a party going and there would be some dancing. I found it very interesting. I have no dance experience myself and had some admiration for that aspect of their culture.
I’m Dominican living in NYC, and was in the dance scene for 6 yrs. I didn’t see a successful relationship out of it. All, absolutely all the ladies I encountered in the scene, cheated one way or another. It’s inevitable, since there’s a lot of sensuality and physical touch.
Spot on with this video... even though you held back a little. Many relationships have been ended/concluded on the dance floor especially when only one member of the relationship is doing the "Cha-Cha" (vertically or horizontally)!
You misunderstand what latin dancing mostly is. It actually has a primary value in the dancing itself. The dating or hook up part is very much secondary. If you start going with your mindset you will be mostly marginalised.
A major point benefit was not discussed: With enough dancing experience, one knows how to LEAD a women and to be CREATIVE. That’s the ticket to having a very good time.
Lets not forget the women who come out to dance and nothing else. They will only dance with the men who know how to dance and spend the night dancing with them and nothing else. It was my experience at the social dances. Women were friendly though and never rude or dismissive of anyone-just as long as one knew how to properly dance.
Agree, this is what I've seen as well. I'm sure every 'scene' is somewhat unique. From what I've seen, nearly half the people there will already be couples that attend together or women that truly just go to dance & practice their moves/fun activity for them. I didn't get the vibe that it was meat market, open scene for dating or hooking up. A few newbies, both men/women will periodically go here & there, those are the ones that are there 'to meet new people'. The dance instructors appear to have their own scene within their scene.
Yes, I've gone dancing with my Latin American male friends who I already know and comfortable with. Some men are genuinely just wanting to dance, it's not always for raunchy sexual reasons. A self respecting lady wouldn't except that for herself if that were the case anyway .
Dance is a vertical expression of a horizontal desire. Your community members synopsis perfectly describes the environment. Gents don't be afraid to learn, the beginning is TOUGH (I started @30), but the outcome is amazing! I've met people & personality types I would never know outside of dance, it's truly changed my life... I'll dance until my body will no longer let me do so.
I did the dance scene for decades and it is a great way to stay in shape, socialize, and meet women. Even an below average looking guy who is a good dancer can dance with multiple women all night long. A man who really knows how to lead can have women asking him to dance. As always, women wait at the finish line and pick the winners, so the best dancers will get the most attention from women. Guys who dance call it pushing trucks because a lot of women don't know how to dance, they're drunk, or they want to lead and the man has to do a lot of pushing to get them going in the right direction. Once a man gets good, he ends up training a lot of women how to dance. It's very tough for a man to break into the dance scene because it takes a lot of practice to get good and to learn to lead. For a woman, it easy because she gets to follow and gets trained by the men. However, when you get a dance partner that you jive with, dancing can be very fun even transcendent.
That is too much work for little return. I'd rather spend that free time training jiu jitsu. It is absolutely fine to take dance classes if you really enjoy dancing, otherwise there is no point.
@@mikes4286 You'd be surprised how complimentary dance can be to jiu jitsu. Flow, energy sensitivity, timing, etc. Dance might actually up your jiu jitsu game, and get you some return that rolling just ain't gonna...
I've been dancing latin dance for 26 years although I don't do it that much these days. I've met and had a number of relationships with some really high quality women from the dance scene. They tend to be really fit, single, mostly very well educated and sensual. As a guy, you need to be able to dance well. If you can't dance well, it's not a great experience. That said, If you can go through the training and it'll take 2 years for you to get good, it's a wonderful place to meet high quality women. A mate of mine was a dance instructor and he would pick up all the time, but few people will do that. If you do decide to get into the dance scene, you have to know that it'll take a couple of years to get skilled but once you do, you'll have women asking you for dances and that can progress to more. There is always more women than men in the community where I live and you never see fat women on a dance floor. It's a target rich environment but if you get into it and act all sleezy the women will avoid you and you'll get a bad reputation. And make no mistake, the women all talk to each other.
A guy I know (he is blue pilled) let his girl go line dancing. She quickly became someone else's girl and blue-pilled guy still begging her to come back. Ridiculous
I wouldn't take my girlfriend to a "club" , she'll get hooked and will want to go all the time.. you'll lose her eventually.. happened to me.. take her to a movie , dinner , etc ...now if she's just a casual friend, no problem
I’d agree with Rich on this take. I dated a girl who did tango quite seriously. She was a starfish behind closed doors, I was treated to the bare minimum. But she let her Argentinian fling (before my time) from her Tango community into the back door. I guess I was her safe Beta.
Lame. Chasing emptiness in pursuit of nothing. Carpentry, woodworking, gardening, fixing machines and cars. CREATE MY BROTHERS! It's what God put us here to do.
@@GettingAlotDoneGod put you on earth to create life, not do carpentry. Just because you want to be a celibate hermit, doesn’t make it the right path for everyone.
@@GettingAlotDoneI agree, but at least yoga, and dancing is physical and can have benefits outside of meeting women. Better than gaming, and nightclubs IMHO.
FWIW, back in the day I was very good at dancing, was a teacher for a number of years, and even was a founder (with partners) in a major-city dance club that operated out of a CP hotel ballroom (in Canada; very romantic atmosphere there). After the first year at the university ballroom club (300+ guys and girls), I had a whole lineup of 10-30 women who _loved_ to dance with me because they enjoyed it so much. (I had a great lead, the moves, coordination, a fit body, etc.) But for all those years (maybe 6?), I only had one very short term relationship out of it. For relationships, I count those years as a total failure / disaster. I had dozens of women who wanted me for dancing, but none for horizontal dancing. Part of it was me, probably - I didn't game them all, and many were already partnered or married (hubbies never wanted to go dancing, of course). I also had a terribly hot long-term dance partner (happily married, of course). In the end, I quit dancing with her and with all the other hot women that I had chemistry with on the dance floor. It was too hard on me (haha) romantically and emotionally to have these babes in my arms or against my body but not being able to do anything about it. Maybe I should try it again; I'm older and wiser, but being old is not a good thing, in general. Thank you for your work!
@@OxymoronicTonic Thanks for the encouragement Oxy, but I'm not sure it will help. :-) I meet many of the Unplugged Alpha high value guy indicators (fit, make bank, educated, can dance, etc, but not a 6' Chad), and am just finishing a 1-year project on the online dating apps. Easily 600+ women from western Canada (AB, BC, and a few from ON) viewed my profiles, good sporty fun pics, etc.) I got maybe 5 incoming messages, mostly from travelling women who wanted me to pull their suitcase and break their traveling boredom. What's that, less than 1% rate? I sent out probably 20 nice messages and got 18 ghosts and 2 no matches. I better buy a dog so I don't die alone, LOL. I think Rich doesn't talk about the *market* of available women (outside big cities) enough. I live in a smaller town/city (pop 50K-100K). Best regards.
@@kevinj5989 apps are dead i barely get any responses these days, 2025 is going to be the year if IRL events, weeds out all the bots then! And yeah you need to go where the girls are, living out in the sticks drastically restricts your picking pool. Ill move tk tbe “country” if i ever find her lol
100% spot on about guys in committed relationships not allowing their wives/girlfriends to go to these places alone. I used to watch a lot of ballroom dancing competitions back in the 90s and it was obvious even then that it required a level of physical closeness that would make impossible for any straight guy to keep his distance OFF the dance floor. I imagine it's even more of a risk during classes/training because you're going through the motions of learning how to be that physically close and in sync with someone -- it's exactly as Rich said, like learning how to engage in softcore activities while slowly ramping up the pace. If she wasn't already stepping out on you before she was taking classes, she absolutely WILL be stepping out on you after she takes the classes.
I do Latin Dance, and this has not been my experience at all. First off, I have more women dance teachers than men. Where I live and dance it's a fun community and I have not experienced women fawning for men as described here. Nor do the men take up dancing for the express purpose of meeting women. The women I know are happy to dance with men who are beginners just as much as the men who have experience, and are very supportive. Truth of the matter is that learning partner dancing is difficult and intimidating, so there are much easier ways for a woman to meet a Chad then to dedicate all of that time and effort to dancing. As for the Chad commentary, most of the men are not Latin nor overt Chads. Where I dance, the people are cool AF and many have become friends. In fact, I have made friends with a lot more men than women. And several women I have made friends with have introduced me to their girlfriends who don't dance. I have seen people meet and date through dancing, but it's not the "Honey Pot" as described. It's a really great group of people and a positive vibe, and beats the hell out of going out to bars and drinking.
I’m glad you shared this. It really is all about the community and group,age/generation. One might have a totally different experience in one part of Miami( or NY, suburbs of Chicago , anywhere) and yet just around the corner there is a more wholesome less competitively “ sexually” oriented group. But I’m sure there is a good fantasy in there if one is really really good . Say of entering one of the” wolves dens😉” as the handsome stranger that can dance like ( pick your favorite)understanding that there will be competitive“ expectations” if things progress to the next “venue” with the “ wicked city woman”
I have a hard time doing latin dance especially bachata. LOL. Every bachata song is a dude with like an uber feminine voice singing about how he got cheated on again, his best friend took his girl, how he was too much of a kitty to ask a girl out and years later she's getting married to some other dude and he is obsessed over her and in denial. Seriously, I'm not making this up. Bachata is the most beta lyrics you'll ever hear.
you definitely have better odds at a club asking a girl out to dance than "spitting game" especially where they dance hip-hop or reggaeton because you can literally brush up to a girl from behind, grab her by the hips and grind and sway like that and usually if the woman is in the dancefloor she'll at least go along with it until the song is up. that was my experience at least circa 2011. then again, I'm 6'4" so maybe that had something to do with it too.
I agree 💯 I think it's best for men to learn how to dance if you already don't know. There are basic beginner lessons on YT if you don't feel ready to go to an actual in person class. Work your way up until you're feeling better to get out there. Trust that you'll have fun.
54, WM, 10 PERCENT BODY FAT, WORKOUT 5-6 DAYS A WEEK. DANCING SALSA, BACHATA, AND KIZOMBA FOR OVER NINE YEARS NOW, AND I TEACH A LIL AS WELL. as in life, all still applies with women in the dance scene. most women never see most men, period!!! they still go for the most handsome Latin guys and/or the guys that dance the best, status. the difference here is if you can step your game up a lil, and dance well, you have a chance. where as in life, you don't. i have literally had women stop me in the middle of the dance floor, in the middle of a dance and ask, " who the hell are you? and where did you learn to dance like that? " that is a huge compliment!! when i teach guys, i teach them, if your interested in a gal, dont necessarily talk to them to try to pick them up, learn to dance well, and let your dance do the talking. i have seen very out of shape men do well with women because they dance especially dance well. put muscles and a lil game on that, and your golden. dancing is the only exception to having money i have ever seen, but you will still need to get your cash up eventually if you are lacking there. also taking classes and socially dancing elevates a guys ability to speak to women exponentially, regardless of your skill level. i am in Florida, huge dance scene here ans i have many dating stories related to dance most not even related to the actually scene it self, id love to call in or talk to rich on the pod or somethin, lots of valuable stories that parallel everything he says but also a good way for men to meet women and more ways to vet them, hope rich reads this too, id love to have him hit me up, and let me tell my stories, invaluable for all!!!
Yes. I use to take daytime salsa and bachata dance lessons at a studio. At the studio, it was a more of a professional environment. On a Friday or Saturday evening , I would go social dancing ( salsa and bachata ). What’s cool about social dancing is you learn a dance pattern at the club with instructors ( lead and follow ) before the club kicks off with a bunch of first timers. In that one hour free dance lesson, you’ve already danced with 12 to 16 women. It’s a good ice breaker. I recommend it if you’re single and want dance with young and older women. Trust me. Women enjoy dancing with a man that knows how to lead in a close or open hand connection. Just so you know. All those really good dancers you see on the dance floor don’t drink alcohol. Let her get a drink from the bar while you dance with another. She’ll be back.
Started dancing 2 years ago. It’s a lot of fun as long as you’re there to have a good time. It’s a much better way to meet ladies and dance at these socials over a sleazy bar or nightclub. And if you get good enough, the ladies ask you to dance. Have fun.
Dancing classes are a devil's playground, I agree with what you said in the video, bachata is becoming very popular also here in Croatia, so many women are taking classes, maybe it is not a bad idea afterall 🕺💃🏻, keep up chasing excellence guys!
100 💯 agree. I was involved in it for a period of 3 years in my mid 30s and had hookups there but no woman there was worth a relationship. Just bad news all around. They are not keepers. It’s only your turn before some other dude.
I 100 percent agree, I do argentine tango and I realized less than 5 percent are couples...realized more it's just a hookup culture... .the couples that soley dance together last....the rest dont for the vast majority very very very few do and I'm still questioning if they will.......a bunch of single people who choose to be or are depressed but like the excitement of partner dancing and still wonder why they still stay single.....isn't it obvious???!!! In general just people who are into the emotions and fantasy......which is a drug in of itself......nothing beats having your family that loves you.....of which I don't have one and I'm stuck kinda in this world until then.
Be careful what you wish for. Still I’m glad I have a daughter that is a fine adult, a EMT. I’m Widowed now, was good in the beginning, but my wife was damaged emotionally unbeknownst to me. Chose wisely. Good luck.
Great post. One thing you overlooked in this is the huge role “pre-selection” plays…girls want to dance with a guy other girls want to dance with. It’s what leads to the dram- from those 4 archetypes you correctly describe.
Me and my attitude. 1. Old guy. High level Argentine tango dancer. Can do nearly every dance well. 2. I took up dance because I was interested in the same and wanted a challenging exercise in which I could learn. It wasn't to do hook ups. 3. Yes, the letter is accurate that you read. 4. If a guy was only looking for hookups, he would have the same results if he took up tennis or joined the hiking section of the Sierra Club. 5. For me only, I enjoy going to a dance, and dancing with every woman. Doesn't matter whether she is a beauty or plain, young or old. The nice challenge is to immediately be able to adjust to her level and achieve a successful partnership within a few minutes. Her "dance" is the expression of her personality.
I took ballroom and Latin dance lessons with my wife at the time. We would go to Latin dance clubs, and I was amazed how many women would approach. Many times, the women would outnumber the men.
@ thanks but I never said I was still dating. At my age its too much trouble to deal with women. Occasionally a younger one will come up and tempt me, but all I ever think about now is the $$$$$ and time required and my calm. Don’t want to disturb my calm. They always bring trouble in one form or another.
A few years ago I was at work with this guy that was on POF, he was scrolling down this list of women that he had dated, as he was doing so he was telling of his conquest…. Every single one of them had “no hook ups” Or “not doing it on the first date” in their bio. He said every single one of them F’d on the first date. Every single one.
I've had this thought about doing something very different, something I haven't done before, something to force my 65 year old brain to actively work out complex actions to keep from fossilizing from doing the same things for the last 40+ years. With that I've thought about learning to dance in some organized fashion. I'm also divorced and was wondering about socially approved arenas for meeting women. As such this video by Rich is quite insightful.
I started when I was very old. For men, age is not important as we don't have to flex our bodies as much while dancing; our job is to make the woman look pretty. So you will do well. Take all the lessons. I still join beginners' classes as I am always learning. I was born an engineer; dancing opened my brain to different patterns.
Right@@rajeshkanungo6627! I'm a retired engineer. Still like thinking engineering stuff. In fact, I'll be taking delivery of an all aluminum cargo trailer to my specifications in April and will be converting it to an RV/toy-hauler. So that will be a fun project. But, and yet, I know I need to stimulate my brain with other works and in different ways. And it won't hurt to have some interaction with the ladies.
@@rajeshkanungo6627 Right with you. 7th decade, took 2 years of over-priced ballroom dance lessons from the big chain over a quarter century ago. Changed the way I think - plus lots of women in the scene. I don't go out much, but when I go to latin dance clubs, after a half hour on the floor, I always have women asking me to dance with them. I look harmless: sharp dressed grandpa, but wait until a tango song comes on (upper inner right thigh contact - I'm practically and sometimes actually dry-humping her right hip).
Anybody in the GTA area, look up Dailyn Martinez for salsa dancing. She teaches Cuban salsa, also does the Lula Lounge Friday/Sat nights thing (or used to), and is an all-round wonderful person and teacher. And, once you learn, there are some regulars on the GTA scene that are just *chef's kiss.* Well worth your time. I am not affiliated with her, but she was my first salsa teacher, and if I can kick some business her way, I will.
Salsa and Bachatainstructor here (over 7 years). Half is true. The other half :Man girls are dancing because it's their hobby. If they would be there for attention they could use Instagram or go clubbing. Therefore at dancing there is a lot of potential to meet hot and good girls. If you don't know how to vet them or set boundaries you will fail no matter where you meet them (dancing or other hobbies) Plus : don't go for the over 30 years olds. Go for the students ;) (18-25)
The letter written was excellent. I’m familiar with the social dance scene and agree with all that he wrote. Your feedback was very good also. Thanks 🙏
I signed up for dance lessons and found that the women liked to be close which was nice, however I'm not a good dancer so I quit. One of the regular guys chased me out into the parking lot to try to convince me to stick it out. He explained that he had hooked up with several of the girls and even had a dance cruise paid for him by one of the older ladies. In the end I didn't go back because I hated it and had other ways to meet women, but if you like dancing then do it.
I agree with most of your comments. Tango takes a lot of effort and expensive lessons for a lead to get good, so pre-selection is a real thing, however it is rare to find women under 40 or so in Tango. Blues dancing is great if you are willing to let it all hang out. The women range from 18 to 50+, and it is a very sensual dance. Make sure to try East Coast Swing and Lindy Hop! Easier to learn and it is rare to see women older than 45 or so. It is easy to hook up in Tango if you are a good lead. Also in Blues dancing. Swing is harder for me to hook up just because of my age (I'm in my 60s). If you are 20-40s, you'll do fine.
Completely spot on! Been in the Latin dance scene since I was a teen and now entering my 40’s. Separated from a marriage of 5+ yrs cuz she wanted to go “dancing”again after having a newborn.
Oh, and some minor nitpicking: "latin dances" usually refers to the cha-cha, rumba, samba, paso doble and jive competitive dance categories (those are ghai af). Salsa (Cuban origin), bachata (Dominican origin), kizomba (African origin) are called simply social dances.
Bachata/Salsa is THE BEST ROI for meeting new girls. 2017-2019 I used to frequent the 7pm salsa/bachata classes in Central London after getting out the office. I've never struggled with girls but as the video says, it's a great training ground for awkward guys looking to break the touch barrier. Bachata specifically for reasons stated. I'd take a few lessons whenever I wanted to find new plates to spin. It's fun, relatively easy, you spend a few mins with many girls. Great for naturally perfecting your intro with repetition and learning to properly present yourself to new women. I've been telling my Bros to pick up bachata for years. Salsa is good but more technical and less sexy. If you're looking for girls and have access to classes you'd be a fool to miss out.
I've been dancing for 11 years. You're going to find all the same things in the dancing scene that you find everywhere else.... Just attributed to the dancing since they're dancing.
If you are learning latin Dance. Learn the rhythm first. Its difficult because latin dance isnt 4/4 . In salsa its 1-2-3-rest-5-6-7-rest. That is difficult to get used to.
I dance, ladies taught me how to be a strong lead, that does get you in the door much more often, not just dancing, but being able to lead. i think women in social dancing are less promiscuous than club girls, most guys can’t dance or won’t learn so the dance ladies just like to dance. It’s not always as romantic or sexual as people think, it can be, but doesn’t have to be, learn to dance and never worry again. 😂 🕺🏻
The dancing meet-ups are usually people who are just passionate about dancing, like car guys. I was a pro drummer in Miami, and the dancing was pro-level; everyone knew everyone else, and there was not a lot of blabbermouth. It is a good hobby if you love it. If not, the dancers will see you as a fake.
I agree; the pro-level dancers are just very serious about their art. Many men and women join just for the hookups, and they are not respected. I was very fortunate to have had many kind male and female dancers take me on as their project; I was that bad at dancing, but they realized I just wanted to learn. I absolutely respect people like that.
@rajeshkanungo6627 Spot on! There is nothing worse than a pickup artist at anything gym, dancing, etc. Anything you do with passion and emotion is contagious and people know. 100%
In my experience, going to dance lesson is a great way of socializing, and it is more than that, people who go there have a more positive view of life in general, so it is really good ;)
I have been in and out of the salsa scene in my town on and off for over 20 years. Salsa is a community. Like any community when you interact with people enough it is not sexy or sexual anymore and it is like dancing with your mom or your sister. I met my wife on the dance scene and I would allow her to go out any time because both of us know everyone and everyone knows us and if she was going to do something shady, Salsa Night would not be the place or the time to do it. I would trust her around guys in a regular night club less than I would salsa night 💃
Yeah. My sister did BJJ too for a while. And from what she was telling me, in most classes she would be the only girl in there. And this isn't a joke, but she told me the entire gym hit on her eventually ...
Some people love dancing. I'm one of them. I've had magical moments dancing with women. A mutual love of movement, the energetic polarization. May be she just loves dancing. Many do. Just know yourself first, and have good personal boundaries.
I've done ballroom (incl latin) semi-seriously for about a decade and would agree. The funny-sad part is that the "Dancefloor Don Juan" type guys are really no different from the 10% Chadly Thundercocks of the dating world. They may do the "smexy movz" thing on the dancefloor that fulfills the fantasy notions of these women, but all-around they aren't very good dancers nor very good people. Regardless, to be 'seen' in that world requires the same level of work and dedication needed to get more attention on dating apps or Instagrope.
My ex thought it was ok to tango. I told her I don't approve of it. Their bodies so close. Anyway, she ended up not going to this school/club. After a fling with another woman student. That ended that issue.
As a guy that learned to dance salsa & bachata, I concur. 1. If you’re single go learn these. They usually have classes before the dancing starts. It will pay dividends for your confidence and for your game. 2. If you have a girlfriend or wife and she frequents the dance scene without you, more often than not, she’s kissing or hooking up with someone there. I’ve seen it way too many times.
Started dancing 3 months ago. Love the social aspect of it but have to admit dancing lessons in USA feel much more like dating events compared to here in Europe. In Europe the people dancing are usually 40+. For reference i am mid 20s. Nobody of my generation seems to do dance anymore. Dancing with bossy elderly woman that dont know how to follow while becoming touchy is not on top of my list.
Bachata and kizomba were trending in mid 2010's, salsa a bit sooner. Their popularity dropped since, altough there are still big dance festivals around the world, the average age in the dance scene dramatically increased. Young girls get the attention from social media and don't want to put in effort to learn to dance.
@@istvanromai9603 people are so unathletic and avoid any scenario where they have to put in effort or set up to make mistakes. I did Bachata, Salsa, Westcoast Swing, Discofox and Walzer. All at once to learn the basics in short amount of time. Coming back to my original statement 2Step Linedance are on fire in the USA but not here in Europe. I miss my Honky Tonks and western clubs......
It’s a great place to learn social calibration and non verbal Communication. It will make u more comfortable with women and ur ability to dance will give u points .
Hilarious :) Talking from experience, women in the dance scene need a lot, a lot, a lot of attention. I had a lot of conversations with ladies with a boyfriend that doesn't dance. Let's say for most of them its like going to a candy store but not eating the sweets. It is possible for these women to stay loyal, but don't be surprised if all of a sudden they are not any more. I have met a lot of couples that met in the scene and stayed together. So it is possible but at least both of them need to be dancing.
I am a female. I have Latin danced for more than 15 years, and I do not go to dance because of meeting anyone or finding sexual encounters. I go to dance because I love it and never had any sexual relationships with anyone, and I have danced with thousands of dancers. Social dancers, especially men, do not understand their perspective and conduct because they are not serious dancers, and their motivation differs from those of serious dancers.
Thanks for sharing your perspective, I’d love to see a feminine version of this video. I started dancing last year to build up my foot muscles, if you go in with the right intentions it’s fine. Saying that i did happen to see someone for a few months, it was great to meet organically to be fair. Can’t stand dating apps these days.
Yes to all that, our culture is very passionate on the dance floor and you can go up levels if you can dance. Also the car analogy is on point, ill leave my car running with a 20 on the seat , but best believe my woman will not be " out with the girls" It amazes me how many americans are cool with that.
My only issue w your advice is- if you meet someone in the dance scene but then you forbid her from going once you are in a relationship, that seems hypocritical. So either stay out of the scene or join it, but you can’t go enjoy it but then expect the dancer to change her habits. Right?
Decades ago "disco" dancing and then "ballroom" dancing was just starting up in the city I lived in. Just out of a divorce (ouch) but everything he said was true then and I'm sure it's true now. If you are an average guy it's the way to go if you are smart about your "market". Look for the "B" girls and just dance. Within a year you'll be asked to dance by the "new" less confident girls because you'll make them look and feel good. Money in the bank.
@@garethbuttery8996 I'm a shite dancer, took salsa and bachata lessons for a year. I was worse after than before. But I saw first-hand how little competition there was for us men. Women were there for the taking, just waiting for a man to lead them. If only they could apply that mindset to other aspects of life.
I claimed that I had 2 1/2 left feet. If I could learn, anyone can. Just takes a lot of hard work. Practice, practice, practice. All those good dancers you see: they all worked hard. Both men and women. Anyone who claims that it is their blood is lying; they are the absolute worst dancers, and I have had a broken finger and a broken toe to prove it. Those who grow up dancing "native" dances have to unlearn their bad habits.
I have really good 'insider' info on this scene My mate from college is latin american and he got a gig as a DJ in one of these latin nights in a local club, lots of 'hens nights', the womento men ratio really high. He had two younger brothers, one of them above average looks and both really well versed in the salsa moves. They both used to to do really really well - Im talking dancing with 5-6 women a night (better looking one even more), feeling up tipsy women, getting numbers, taking them home. Even my mate the DJ got some and he was overweight and not a looker :) Not a place to look for a wife thats for sure
In latin countries, dancing is a social pastime, and not necessarily sexual. Of course, leave it up to our repressed Anglosphere culture that got infected with the sexual revolution to mess it up. North American 304s find any excuse to do the horizontal samba.
Dancing sucks. Nothing is created. That's why women love dancing. Women are extremely uncreative. Who designed and built your car? House? Landscape? Men. Remember guys: men create, women take.
Got to go to private lessons and actually get good enough to perform a showcase. Mainly in cha cha and swing or rumba. Do that and you’ll get more success in dating apps. Way more attractive women are looking my way now because of it.
Classes are formal. You learn a pattern. You have to be extremely focused. You try out with several partners. One class should be followed by 5 hours of social dancing. That is where you either hook up or don't. Your choice.
My new wife is an instructor and actually represented her country, I am uncomfortable with it but also try to go with the King doesn't get fazed and I do trust her but yeah...
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A faithful woman doesn't put herself into situations that would jeopardize the relationship. It's just that simple.
EXACTLY
100% true
As a socially awkward, shy introvert, I had never danced in my life until 5 years ago. I had no rhythm but I stuck with the group lessons even when my brain said “you suck, run away now, you’ll never figure this out!” I fought my inner critic and now I’m more than a good enough lead. It’s has been the funnest thing to do and many patient follows, of all shapes, sizes, ages, and levels of gorgeousness have helped me. I’ve learned skills and confidence that has translated into other parts of my life, especially with relationships. I can’t stress enough; if you want to improve your life, learn to dance.
Very nice! Congrats on your accomplishment. I'm going to take your advice
Congrats to you and very true
Yes. I, too, would like to thank all the women who were kind to me. I never forget them. Many dropped off the scene, but whenever I see them, I make a point of dancing with them. It does not matter that they are still at the beginner level.
This is really inspiring
There are absolutely no better or easier way of meeting and interacting with women of all ages than dancing. Not the venues with the deafening music and strobe lights mind you. You have your face a foot from hers while dancing and her fill attention. I had a phone overflowing with their numbers. It boosted my confidence though the roof. And, oh yes, Im a five on a good day! 😊
As a retired expat living in Latin America, I noticed a big difference between older North American women and Latinas in dance classes. The American women wouldn’t let you lead. They’d pull you this way and that and complain that you weren’t as good as the instructor, and even stop dancing with you (but not with the Latinos, even if they couldn’t dance a step). Some would even run off to line up to dance with the instructor. The Latinas however would smile and help you out and would even be happy just to dance the most rudimentary steps if that’s all you knew. They’d only get mad if for some reason you stopped leading.
A male dance instructor friend of mine noticed exactly the same thing, as did another male fried who is a very good dancer. Eventually I realized that taking classes that had no English speaking students was much better.
@@marcosreal11 most female dancers who don’t let you lead have never danced partner dance properly and feel that the lead has to force them. They are used to shaking their bodies wildly in a rock concert or in a disco or something like that. Experienced leads will almost truss them up. I asked one really good male dancer about this and he said that he uses both his hands all the time and will even grab the women’s left shoulder with his right hand when turning her with his left hand so that she doesn’t spin off in some random direction. It is really not enjoyable. Ideally, a lead is very soft and sensual; the best dancer I danced with in my life was ultra responsive. So don’t fret over rude and incompetent people.
My ex wouldn't let me lead in dance lessons. The instructor said, the man has to lead that's how dances were designed. My ex is my ex for good reason.
Western women think they want to be in charge but get frustrated because deep, deep down they know the man should lead.
Everything he said is right. I just started taking Salsa and Bachata lessons. Men, do yourself a favor and take lessons. You won’t regret it.
Roger, that.
Yeah, this is definitely something I should have done when I was single.
@@JRRob3wn Who says you can't still do it now... Take your lady and both learn. Add some "spice " to y'all life.
Spoken like a true straight man 🙄
Dancer of 13 years here, I started with salsa, a few months after that I picked up bachata and a few years later kizomba too, also learned son cubano, cuban cha-cha, argentin tango, some rock & roll/jive, cha-cha, waltz, you name it. I'm a pretty good dancer (top 1% without exaggeration), women regularly ask me for dance and ask me in which dance school do I teach? (I don't, it's just a hobby of mine, not my profession.) Also I'm Hungarian, not American, so take this with a grain of salt, because the social environment can be vastly different.
All the things you said about dancing and the dancing scene is mostly true, but I would like to add some nuance. Dance is good for young men, because:
- You learn a new skill which is attractive to the other sex
- You get used to be around women, how to interact with them, hopefully learn some etiquette
- You learn how to control your and your dance partner's body
- As you get better at dancing you gain self-confidence
- You learn how to handle rejection (because in the beginning you will face plenty of rejections, altough not nearly as much as outside the dance floor IRL)
I encourage everybody to try out at least one social dance for 6-12 months, if it's not your cup of tea, you didn't lose much, if it is, like in my case, you get a lot of great experience from it.
But there is a huge caveat: don't think that if you learn to dance like a pro, you suddenly become the latin gigolo who all the women want to dance and eventually hook up with. Dance is just another tool in your toolset to attract women, like masculine physique, game, style, charisma, humour, status, wealth, etc. I've seen lot of women going for the tall, athletic, handsome, well dressed guy even he was just a mediocre dancer at best.
If you want to attract women relying solely on your dance skills, prepare for some very fierce competition, because hypergamy is very real. Search for the video titled "Comadreja Salsa Congress 2013 Social Daniel Sánchez & Ladies - I". Dozens of girls were waiting in line for half an hour just to dance with him for half a minute, because he was the best dancer at that time. At such an event there are hundreds of guys who are very fun to dance with, but instead all those girls were waiting for the alpha of the dance floor.
I 💯 agree... One more thing, if your girlfriend suddenly begins to frequent a couple dancing course - either join the class she is in and learn it with her - or start to worry - The countdown has begun 😂
If she picks any new activity where's there are guys involved it's basically already too late.
I’ve been actively involved in Latin dance for the last three years with no prior dance experience. Halfway in, I 100% agree
Same, agreed
I started dancing 2 years ago. Latin Ballroom. So rumba cha cha and swing - and now tango. After 2 years I was able to perform 2 showcases in front of a crowd for an annual winter ball. And I haven’t stopped. Also being around the female teachers. Who are so sweet and attractive. Has been so good for my mental health. Even though I’m not dating them. Just being around them has helped tremendously. Being able to talk to a woman about my weeks. My days. Inner thoughts. Like there’s so much more to it than just dancing
Latin Dance Women Avatars:
1. 0:53 Corporate Boss Babe Becky
2. 1:50 Rachel
3. 2:14 Costa Rica Caroleena
4. 2:38 40+ Crowd
Here in Latin America there are a lot of salsa classes, if you are engaged in a long term relationship and if you go u have to exchange your partner with other dudes in order to make it more dynamic but the reality is you may ended having your partner making giggles and laughing with other dudes, I I go, I go alone and single, these chicks are looking for a duded with good dancing skills xd
Years ago I did a bunch of work in Monterrey Mexico and learned they have quite a dance culture. Get a party going and there would be some dancing. I found it very interesting. I have no dance experience myself and had some admiration for that aspect of their culture.
I’m Dominican living in NYC, and was in the dance scene for 6 yrs. I didn’t see a successful relationship out of it. All, absolutely all the ladies I encountered in the scene, cheated one way or another. It’s inevitable, since there’s a lot of sensuality and physical touch.
Spot on with this video... even though you held back a little. Many relationships have been ended/concluded on the dance floor especially when only one member of the relationship is doing the "Cha-Cha" (vertically or horizontally)!
You misunderstand what latin dancing mostly is. It actually has a primary value in the dancing itself. The dating or hook up part is very much secondary. If you start going with your mindset you will be mostly marginalised.
A major point benefit was not discussed: With enough dancing experience, one knows how to LEAD a women and to be CREATIVE. That’s the ticket to having a very good time.
Lets not forget the women who come out to dance and nothing else. They will only dance with the men who know how to dance and spend the night dancing with them and nothing else. It was my experience at the social dances. Women were friendly though and never rude or dismissive of anyone-just as long as one knew how to properly dance.
Agree, this is what I've seen as well. I'm sure every 'scene' is somewhat unique. From what I've seen, nearly half the people there will already be couples that attend together or women that truly just go to dance & practice their moves/fun activity for them. I didn't get the vibe that it was meat market, open scene for dating or hooking up. A few newbies, both men/women will periodically go here & there, those are the ones that are there 'to meet new people'. The dance instructors appear to have their own scene within their scene.
Yes, I've gone dancing with my Latin American male friends who I already know and comfortable with.
Some men are genuinely just wanting to dance, it's not always for raunchy sexual reasons. A self respecting lady wouldn't except that for herself if that were the case anyway .
Dance is a vertical expression of a horizontal desire.
Your community members synopsis perfectly describes the environment. Gents don't be afraid to learn, the beginning is TOUGH (I started @30), but the outcome is amazing! I've met people & personality types I would never know outside of dance, it's truly changed my life... I'll dance until my body will no longer let me do so.
I did the dance scene for decades and it is a great way to stay in shape, socialize, and meet women. Even an below average looking guy who is a good dancer can dance with multiple women all night long. A man who really knows how to lead can have women asking him to dance. As always, women wait at the finish line and pick the winners, so the best dancers will get the most attention from women. Guys who dance call it pushing trucks because a lot of women don't know how to dance, they're drunk, or they want to lead and the man has to do a lot of pushing to get them going in the right direction. Once a man gets good, he ends up training a lot of women how to dance. It's very tough for a man to break into the dance scene because it takes a lot of practice to get good and to learn to lead. For a woman, it easy because she gets to follow and gets trained by the men. However, when you get a dance partner that you jive with, dancing can be very fun even transcendent.
tango dancer here...100% agree
That is too much work for little return. I'd rather spend that free time training jiu jitsu. It is absolutely fine to take dance classes if you really enjoy dancing, otherwise there is no point.
@@mikes4286 You'd be surprised how complimentary dance can be to jiu jitsu. Flow, energy sensitivity, timing, etc. Dance might actually up your jiu jitsu game, and get you some return that rolling just ain't gonna...
@@tmcg1907 Bruce Lee was a Cha Cha Cha Champ and studied Ballet Movements
@@tmcg1907 I have noticed that. My ability to time footsweeps increased tremendously just from dancing.
I've been dancing latin dance for 26 years although I don't do it that much these days. I've met and had a number of relationships with some really high quality women from the dance scene. They tend to be really fit, single, mostly very well educated and sensual. As a guy, you need to be able to dance well. If you can't dance well, it's not a great experience.
That said, If you can go through the training and it'll take 2 years for you to get good, it's a wonderful place to meet high quality women. A mate of mine was a dance instructor and he would pick up all the time, but few people will do that. If you do decide to get into the dance scene, you have to know that it'll take a couple of years to get skilled but once you do, you'll have women asking you for dances and that can progress to more. There is always more women than men in the community where I live and you never see fat women on a dance floor. It's a target rich environment but if you get into it and act all sleezy the women will avoid you and you'll get a bad reputation. And make no mistake, the women all talk to each other.
Yeah like Yoga. Dominated by women and if you're a dude who steps in there, you'll be seen as the creep. Don't do it just to meet women imo.
Anytime your girl wants to go "dancing" at a club or bar with her friends is a red flag.
100%
A guy I know (he is blue pilled) let his girl go line dancing. She quickly became someone else's girl and blue-pilled guy still begging her to come back. Ridiculous
I wouldn't take my girlfriend to a "club" , she'll get hooked and will want to go all the time.. you'll lose her eventually.. happened to me.. take her to a movie , dinner , etc ...now if she's just a casual friend, no problem
Not just a red flag, that's armistice day for the relationship. Say goodbye.
@@user-xp2ox1xk1z there’s truth in your post.
I’d agree with Rich on this take. I dated a girl who did tango quite seriously. She was a starfish behind closed doors, I was treated to the bare minimum. But she let her Argentinian fling (before my time) from her Tango community into the back door. I guess I was her safe Beta.
20 years between Yoga and the dance scene. Is what kept my rotation card full. Plus a waiting list 😅
Lame. Chasing emptiness in pursuit of nothing. Carpentry, woodworking, gardening, fixing machines and cars. CREATE MY BROTHERS! It's what God put us here to do.
@@GettingAlotDoneGod put you on earth to create life, not do carpentry. Just because you want to be a celibate hermit, doesn’t make it the right path for everyone.
@@GettingAlotDoneI agree, but at least yoga, and dancing is physical and can have benefits outside of meeting women. Better than gaming, and nightclubs IMHO.
@@honkhonk1555 gaming is for lazy children, bro
@@honkhonk1555 gaming is for teenagers
FWIW, back in the day I was very good at dancing, was a teacher for a number of years, and even was a founder (with partners) in a major-city dance club that operated out of a CP hotel ballroom (in Canada; very romantic atmosphere there). After the first year at the university ballroom club (300+ guys and girls), I had a whole lineup of 10-30 women who _loved_ to dance with me because they enjoyed it so much. (I had a great lead, the moves, coordination, a fit body, etc.) But for all those years (maybe 6?), I only had one very short term relationship out of it. For relationships, I count those years as a total failure / disaster. I had dozens of women who wanted me for dancing, but none for horizontal dancing. Part of it was me, probably - I didn't game them all, and many were already partnered or married (hubbies never wanted to go dancing, of course). I also had a terribly hot long-term dance partner (happily married, of course). In the end, I quit dancing with her and with all the other hot women that I had chemistry with on the dance floor. It was too hard on me (haha) romantically and emotionally to have these babes in my arms or against my body but not being able to do anything about it. Maybe I should try it again; I'm older and wiser, but being old is not a good thing, in general. Thank you for your work!
Oh no, oh no, oh no no no no no.
Was it being super dorky looking, eh hoser?
Defo get back on the horse brother.
@@OxymoronicTonic Thanks for the encouragement Oxy, but I'm not sure it will help. :-) I meet many of the Unplugged Alpha high value guy indicators (fit, make bank, educated, can dance, etc, but not a 6' Chad), and am just finishing a 1-year project on the online dating apps. Easily 600+ women from western Canada (AB, BC, and a few from ON) viewed my profiles, good sporty fun pics, etc.) I got maybe 5 incoming messages, mostly from travelling women who wanted me to pull their suitcase and break their traveling boredom. What's that, less than 1% rate? I sent out probably 20 nice messages and got 18 ghosts and 2 no matches. I better buy a dog so I don't die alone, LOL. I think Rich doesn't talk about the *market* of available women (outside big cities) enough. I live in a smaller town/city (pop 50K-100K). Best regards.
@@kevinj5989 apps are dead i barely get any responses these days, 2025 is going to be the year if IRL events, weeds out all the bots then! And yeah you need to go where the girls are, living out in the sticks drastically restricts your picking pool.
Ill move tk tbe “country” if i ever find her lol
100% spot on about guys in committed relationships not allowing their wives/girlfriends to go to these places alone. I used to watch a lot of ballroom dancing competitions back in the 90s and it was obvious even then that it required a level of physical closeness that would make impossible for any straight guy to keep his distance OFF the dance floor. I imagine it's even more of a risk during classes/training because you're going through the motions of learning how to be that physically close and in sync with someone -- it's exactly as Rich said, like learning how to engage in softcore activities while slowly ramping up the pace. If she wasn't already stepping out on you before she was taking classes, she absolutely WILL be stepping out on you after she takes the classes.
Thank you for bringing up this topic. Dancing it's an important skill every man should gain
I do Latin Dance, and this has not been my experience at all. First off, I have more women dance teachers than men. Where I live and dance it's a fun community and I have not experienced women fawning for men as described here. Nor do the men take up dancing for the express purpose of meeting women. The women I know are happy to dance with men who are beginners just as much as the men who have experience, and are very supportive. Truth of the matter is that learning partner dancing is difficult and intimidating, so there are much easier ways for a woman to meet a Chad then to dedicate all of that time and effort to dancing. As for the Chad commentary, most of the men are not Latin nor overt Chads. Where I dance, the people are cool AF and many have become friends. In fact, I have made friends with a lot more men than women. And several women I have made friends with have introduced me to their girlfriends who don't dance. I have seen people meet and date through dancing, but it's not the "Honey Pot" as described. It's a really great group of people and a positive vibe, and beats the hell out of going out to bars and drinking.
Totally agree with your perspective here @michaelpalumbo4880. It's more of a community where you meet good people over time!
I’m glad you shared this. It really is all about the community and group,age/generation. One might have a totally different experience in one part of Miami( or NY, suburbs of Chicago , anywhere) and yet just around the corner there is a more wholesome less competitively “ sexually” oriented group.
But I’m sure there is a good fantasy in there if one is really really good . Say of entering one of the” wolves dens😉” as the handsome stranger that can dance like ( pick your favorite)understanding that there will be competitive“ expectations” if things progress to the next “venue” with the “ wicked city woman”
Just hold frame no matter the circumstances
I have a hard time doing latin dance especially bachata. LOL. Every bachata song is a dude with like an uber feminine voice singing about how he got cheated on again, his best friend took his girl, how he was too much of a kitty to ask a girl out and years later she's getting married to some other dude and he is obsessed over her and in denial. Seriously, I'm not making this up. Bachata is the most beta lyrics you'll ever hear.
@@murraysaucedo897 Usually men like salsa better while bachata caters to women
You must not listen to much bachata.
@@raularango3539 😄😄😄
You sure you’re not listening to Country music. Lol. Fortunately, I don’t understand Spanish very well so I just dance and have fun.
I knew a guy who was hopeless in the lounges clubs and bars due to how he looked. Dance halls were where he had some success
you definitely have better odds at a club asking a girl out to dance than "spitting game" especially where they dance hip-hop or reggaeton because you can literally brush up to a girl from behind, grab her by the hips and grind and sway like that and usually if the woman is in the dancefloor she'll at least go along with it until the song is up. that was my experience at least circa 2011. then again, I'm 6'4" so maybe that had something to do with it too.
I agree 💯 I think it's best for men to learn how to dance if you already don't know.
There are basic beginner lessons on YT if you don't feel ready to go to an actual in person class. Work your way up until you're feeling better to get out there. Trust that you'll have fun.
54, WM, 10 PERCENT BODY FAT, WORKOUT 5-6 DAYS A WEEK. DANCING SALSA, BACHATA, AND KIZOMBA FOR OVER NINE YEARS NOW, AND I TEACH A LIL AS WELL. as in life, all still applies with women in the dance scene. most women never see most men, period!!! they still go for the most handsome Latin guys and/or the guys that dance the best, status. the difference here is if you can step your game up a lil, and dance well, you have a chance. where as in life, you don't. i have literally had women stop me in the middle of the dance floor, in the middle of a dance and ask, " who the hell are you? and where did you learn to dance like that? " that is a huge compliment!! when i teach guys, i teach them, if your interested in a gal, dont necessarily talk to them to try to pick them up, learn to dance well, and let your dance do the talking. i have seen very out of shape men do well with women because they dance especially dance well. put muscles and a lil game on that, and your golden. dancing is the only exception to having money i have ever seen, but you will still need to get your cash up eventually if you are lacking there. also taking classes and socially dancing elevates a guys ability to speak to women exponentially, regardless of your skill level. i am in Florida, huge dance scene here ans i have many dating stories related to dance most not even related to the actually scene it self, id love to call in or talk to rich on the pod or somethin, lots of valuable stories that parallel everything he says but also a good way for men to meet women and more ways to vet them, hope rich reads this too, id love to have him hit me up, and let me tell my stories, invaluable for all!!!
Do a call. I would like to listen to those stories.
I would like to hear from you too, and I think others would as well.
Would be interesting to hear your experience, call in on his regular shows and if he finds it interesting he'll probably want to do a show with you.
What does "WM" mean?
@@cajampa white male. Took me a while to figure it out. He should have just written the acronym out.
Yes. I use to take daytime salsa and bachata dance lessons at a studio. At the studio, it was a more of a professional environment. On a Friday or Saturday evening , I would go social dancing ( salsa and bachata ). What’s cool about social dancing is you learn a dance pattern at the club with instructors ( lead and follow ) before the club kicks off with a bunch of first timers. In that one hour free dance lesson, you’ve already danced with 12 to 16 women. It’s a good ice breaker. I recommend it if you’re single and want dance with young and older women. Trust me. Women enjoy dancing with a man that knows how to lead in a close or open hand connection. Just so you know. All those really good dancers you see on the dance floor don’t drink alcohol. Let her get a drink from the bar while you dance with another. She’ll be back.
Started dancing 2 years ago. It’s a lot of fun as long as you’re there to have a good time. It’s a much better way to meet ladies and dance at these socials over a sleazy bar or nightclub. And if you get good enough, the ladies ask you to dance. Have fun.
Dancing classes are a devil's playground, I agree with what you said in the video, bachata is becoming very popular also here in Croatia, so many women are taking classes, maybe it is not a bad idea afterall 🕺💃🏻, keep up chasing excellence guys!
You won't find excellence in women.
Hahaha 100% agreed! I am doing salsa and bachata and can confirm most of the observations.
100 💯 agree. I was involved in it for a period of 3 years in my mid 30s and had hookups there but no woman there was worth a relationship. Just bad news all around. They are not keepers. It’s only your turn before some other dude.
I 100 percent agree, I do argentine tango and I realized less than 5 percent are couples...realized more it's just a hookup culture...
.the couples that soley dance together last....the rest dont for the vast majority very very very few do and I'm still questioning if they will.......a bunch of single people who choose to be or are depressed but like the excitement of partner dancing and still wonder why they still stay single.....isn't it obvious???!!! In general just people who are into the emotions and fantasy......which is a drug in of itself......nothing beats having your family that loves you.....of which I don't have one and I'm stuck kinda in this world until then.
Be careful what you wish for. Still I’m glad I have a daughter that is a fine adult, a EMT. I’m Widowed now, was good in the beginning, but my wife was damaged emotionally unbeknownst to me. Chose wisely. Good luck.
Great post. One thing you overlooked in this is the huge role “pre-selection” plays…girls want to dance with a guy other girls want to dance with. It’s what leads to the dram- from those 4 archetypes you correctly describe.
Me and my attitude.
1. Old guy. High level Argentine tango dancer. Can do nearly every dance well.
2. I took up dance because I was interested in the same and wanted a challenging exercise in which I could learn. It wasn't to do hook ups.
3. Yes, the letter is accurate that you read.
4. If a guy was only looking for hookups, he would have the same results if he took up tennis or joined the hiking section of the Sierra Club.
5. For me only, I enjoy going to a dance, and dancing with every woman. Doesn't matter whether she is a beauty or plain, young or old. The nice challenge is to immediately be able to adjust to her level and achieve a successful partnership within a few minutes. Her "dance" is the expression of her personality.
I took ballroom and Latin dance lessons with my wife at the time. We would go to Latin dance clubs, and I was amazed how many women would approach. Many times, the women would outnumber the men.
Always said I would marry the first woman who didn't smash on the first date. I'm 63 and I'm still not married.
@@bapam2 LOL you are doing humble bragging well
@ thanks but I never said I was still dating. At my age its too much trouble to deal with women. Occasionally a younger one will come up and tempt me, but all I ever think about now is the $$$$$ and time required and my calm. Don’t want to disturb my calm. They always bring trouble in one form or another.
if she didn't smash on the first date that means she didn't have GBD
A few years ago I was at work with this guy that was on POF, he was scrolling down this list of women that he had dated, as he was doing so he was telling of his conquest….
Every single one of them had “no hook ups”
Or “not doing it on the first date” in their bio.
He said every single one of them F’d on the first date. Every single one.
The coping lol.
I've met more women dancing than any other place.
I've had this thought about doing something very different, something I haven't done before, something to force my 65 year old brain to actively work out complex actions to keep from fossilizing from doing the same things for the last 40+ years. With that I've thought about learning to dance in some organized fashion. I'm also divorced and was wondering about socially approved arenas for meeting women. As such this video by Rich is quite insightful.
Yes do. Go take salsa classes. I'm 67 and taking salsa, bachata and kizomba classes. It is excellent for the brain. Good luck.
A good work out for the body & mind, but definitely not a good place to meet a decent woman... unless you like to share!
I started when I was very old. For men, age is not important as we don't have to flex our bodies as much while dancing; our job is to make the woman look pretty. So you will do well. Take all the lessons. I still join beginners' classes as I am always learning.
I was born an engineer; dancing opened my brain to different patterns.
Right@@rajeshkanungo6627! I'm a retired engineer. Still like thinking engineering stuff. In fact, I'll be taking delivery of an all aluminum cargo trailer to my specifications in April and will be converting it to an RV/toy-hauler. So that will be a fun project. But, and yet, I know I need to stimulate my brain with other works and in different ways. And it won't hurt to have some interaction with the ladies.
@@rajeshkanungo6627 Right with you. 7th decade, took 2 years of over-priced ballroom dance lessons from the big chain over a quarter century ago. Changed the way I think - plus lots of women in the scene. I don't go out much, but when I go to latin dance clubs, after a half hour on the floor, I always have women asking me to dance with them. I look harmless: sharp dressed grandpa, but wait until a tango song comes on (upper inner right thigh contact - I'm practically and sometimes actually dry-humping her right hip).
I can concur. I’ve gone out a few times and I know a guy who goes out all the time. They clean up.
Anybody in the GTA area, look up Dailyn Martinez for salsa dancing. She teaches Cuban salsa, also does the Lula Lounge Friday/Sat nights thing (or used to), and is an all-round wonderful person and teacher. And, once you learn, there are some regulars on the GTA scene that are just *chef's kiss.* Well worth your time.
I am not affiliated with her, but she was my first salsa teacher, and if I can kick some business her way, I will.
Salsa and Bachatainstructor here (over 7 years).
Half is true.
The other half :Man girls are dancing because it's their hobby. If they would be there for attention they could use Instagram or go clubbing.
Therefore at dancing there is a lot of potential to meet hot and good girls.
If you don't know how to vet them or set boundaries you will fail no matter where you meet them (dancing or other hobbies)
Plus : don't go for the over 30 years olds. Go for the students ;) (18-25)
Thanks for the shout out Rich :)
The letter written was excellent. I’m familiar with the social dance scene and agree with all that he wrote. Your feedback was very good also. Thanks 🙏
I signed up for dance lessons and found that the women liked to be close which was nice, however I'm not a good dancer so I quit. One of the regular guys chased me out into the parking lot to try to convince me to stick it out. He explained that he had hooked up with several of the girls and even had a dance cruise paid for him by one of the older ladies. In the end I didn't go back because I hated it and had other ways to meet women, but if you like dancing then do it.
I agree with most of your comments. Tango takes a lot of effort and expensive lessons for a lead to get good, so pre-selection is a real thing, however it is rare to find women under 40 or so in Tango. Blues dancing is great if you are willing to let it all hang out. The women range from 18 to 50+, and it is a very sensual dance. Make sure to try East Coast Swing and Lindy Hop! Easier to learn and it is rare to see women older than 45 or so. It is easy to hook up in Tango if you are a good lead. Also in Blues dancing. Swing is harder for me to hook up just because of my age (I'm in my 60s). If you are 20-40s, you'll do fine.
sheep in the pasture with no fence and the wolves waiting for the sun to go down...perfect.
Completely spot on! Been in the Latin dance scene since I was a teen and now entering my 40’s. Separated from a marriage of 5+ yrs cuz she wanted to go “dancing”again after having a newborn.
Oh, and some minor nitpicking: "latin dances" usually refers to the cha-cha, rumba, samba, paso doble and jive competitive dance categories (those are ghai af). Salsa (Cuban origin), bachata (Dominican origin), kizomba (African origin) are called simply social dances.
Bachata/Salsa is THE BEST ROI for meeting new girls. 2017-2019 I used to frequent the 7pm salsa/bachata classes in Central London after getting out the office. I've never struggled with girls but as the video says, it's a great training ground for awkward guys looking to break the touch barrier. Bachata specifically for reasons stated.
I'd take a few lessons whenever I wanted to find new plates to spin. It's fun, relatively easy, you spend a few mins with many girls. Great for naturally perfecting your intro with repetition and learning to properly present yourself to new women. I've been telling my Bros to pick up bachata for years. Salsa is good but more technical and less sexy. If you're looking for girls and have access to classes you'd be a fool to miss out.
It is true even in less western more conservative countries like India as well.
“Death before disco”.
And Rock keeps on Rolling!
I've been dancing for 11 years. You're going to find all the same things in the dancing scene that you find everywhere else.... Just attributed to the dancing since they're dancing.
If you are learning latin Dance. Learn the rhythm first. Its difficult because latin dance isnt 4/4 . In salsa its 1-2-3-rest-5-6-7-rest. That is difficult to get used to.
I dance, ladies taught me how to be a strong lead, that does get you in the door much more often, not just dancing, but being able to lead.
i think women in social dancing are less promiscuous than club girls, most guys can’t dance or won’t learn so the dance ladies just like to dance. It’s not always as romantic or sexual as people think, it can be, but doesn’t have to be, learn to dance and never worry again. 😂 🕺🏻
The dancing meet-ups are usually people who are just passionate about dancing, like car guys. I was a pro drummer in Miami, and the dancing was pro-level; everyone knew everyone else, and there was not a lot of blabbermouth. It is a good hobby if you love it. If not, the dancers will see you as a fake.
I agree; the pro-level dancers are just very serious about their art. Many men and women join just for the hookups, and they are not respected. I was very fortunate to have had many kind male and female dancers take me on as their project; I was that bad at dancing, but they realized I just wanted to learn. I absolutely respect people like that.
@rajeshkanungo6627 Spot on! There is nothing worse than a pickup artist at anything gym, dancing, etc. Anything you do with passion and emotion is contagious and people know. 100%
Best ROI I ever got from dancing :) Went to Salsa school for 1 year and met my wife future wife. The rest is history Haha..
In my experience, going to dance lesson is a great way of socializing, and it is more than that, people who go there have a more positive view of life in general, so it is really good ;)
Latin dancing is easy mode for men. Learn it.
I have been in and out of the salsa scene in my town on and off for over 20 years. Salsa is a community. Like any community when you interact with people enough it is not sexy or sexual anymore and it is like dancing with your mom or your sister. I met my wife on the dance scene and I would allow her to go out any time because both of us know everyone and everyone knows us and if she was going to do something shady, Salsa Night would not be the place or the time to do it. I would trust her around guys in a regular night club less than I would salsa night 💃
Kinda like Tom Brady's ex wife and her judo instructor... LoL
Yeah. My sister did BJJ too for a while. And from what she was telling me, in most classes she would be the only girl in there. And this isn't a joke, but she told me the entire gym hit on her eventually ...
Some people love dancing.
I'm one of them. I've had magical moments dancing with women.
A mutual love of movement, the energetic polarization.
May be she just loves dancing. Many do.
Just know yourself first, and have good personal boundaries.
I've done ballroom (incl latin) semi-seriously for about a decade and would agree.
The funny-sad part is that the "Dancefloor Don Juan" type guys are really no different from the 10% Chadly Thundercocks of the dating world. They may do the "smexy movz" thing on the dancefloor that fulfills the fantasy notions of these women, but all-around they aren't very good dancers nor very good people.
Regardless, to be 'seen' in that world requires the same level of work and dedication needed to get more attention on dating apps or Instagrope.
My ex thought it was ok to tango.
I told her I don't approve of it.
Their bodies so close.
Anyway, she ended up not going to this school/club.
After a fling with another woman student.
That ended that issue.
This video is 100% true 😊
Always dropping the thruth!
As a guy that learned to dance salsa & bachata, I concur.
1. If you’re single go learn these. They usually have classes before the dancing starts. It will pay dividends for your confidence and for your game.
2. If you have a girlfriend or wife and she frequents the dance scene without you, more often than not, she’s kissing or hooking up with someone there. I’ve seen it way too many times.
Started dancing 3 months ago. Love the social aspect of it but have to admit dancing lessons in USA feel much more like dating events compared to here in Europe.
In Europe the people dancing are usually 40+. For reference i am mid 20s. Nobody of my generation seems to do dance anymore.
Dancing with bossy elderly woman that dont know how to follow while becoming touchy is not on top of my list.
Bachata and kizomba were trending in mid 2010's, salsa a bit sooner. Their popularity dropped since, altough there are still big dance festivals around the world, the average age in the dance scene dramatically increased.
Young girls get the attention from social media and don't want to put in effort to learn to dance.
@@istvanromai9603 people are so unathletic and avoid any scenario where they have to put in effort or set up to make mistakes.
I did Bachata, Salsa, Westcoast Swing, Discofox and Walzer. All at once to learn the basics in short amount of time.
Coming back to my original statement 2Step Linedance are on fire in the USA but not here in Europe. I miss my Honky Tonks and western clubs......
It’s a great place to learn social calibration and non verbal
Communication. It will make u more comfortable with women and ur ability to dance will give u points .
Hilarious :) Talking from experience, women in the dance scene need a lot, a lot, a lot of attention.
I had a lot of conversations with ladies with a boyfriend that doesn't dance. Let's say for most of them its like going to a candy store but not eating the sweets. It is possible for these women to stay loyal, but don't be surprised if all of a sudden they are not any more.
I have met a lot of couples that met in the scene and stayed together. So it is possible but at least both of them need to be dancing.
Def signing up...
Useful content. The 'my editor' comments are patronising and superfluous, get rid. No need to YT 'status' gloat beyond the cars.
Well said👍
Elaine from Friends 😂
He's Canadian, be gentle ....lol
I am a female. I have Latin danced for more than 15 years, and I do not go to dance because of meeting anyone or finding sexual encounters. I go to dance because I love it and never had any sexual relationships with anyone, and I have danced with thousands of dancers. Social dancers, especially men, do not understand their perspective and conduct because they are not serious dancers, and their motivation differs from those of serious dancers.
@@lartdelavivre1 nawalt
Stop talking.
Thanks for sharing your perspective, I’d love to see a feminine version of this video. I started dancing last year to build up my foot muscles, if you go in with the right intentions it’s fine. Saying that i did happen to see someone for a few months, it was great to meet organically to be fair. Can’t stand dating apps these days.
5) The married women who think their husbands should take dance lessons with them.
Yes to all that, our culture is very passionate on the dance floor and you can go up levels if you can dance. Also the car analogy is on point, ill leave my car running with a 20 on the seat , but best believe my woman will not be " out with the girls" It amazes me how many americans are cool with that.
My only issue w your advice is- if you meet someone in the dance scene but then you forbid her from going once you are in a relationship, that seems hypocritical. So either stay out of the scene or join it, but you can’t go enjoy it but then expect the dancer to change her habits. Right?
Dancing is the prelude to..........
A gentleman should remember, dancing is a very handy skill. It is not the say all be all. There is other skills which are quite handy too.
Most trust is given naively by those who don't understand the nature of those involved
100% nailed it
Can we talk about running club culture as well? lol
Decades ago "disco" dancing and then "ballroom" dancing was just starting up in the city I lived in. Just out of a divorce (ouch) but everything he said was true then and I'm sure it's true now. If you are an average guy it's the way to go if you are smart about your "market". Look for the "B" girls and just dance. Within a year you'll be asked to dance by the "new" less confident girls because you'll make them look and feel good. Money in the bank.
WTF! Waltz, Tango, Foxtrot As a ballroom dancer, I have found it a great way to get back into dating post-divorce
What if you're a shite dancer? Should you avoid or can the basics be learned? Asking for a friend.
Yes you can....but it will take longer
Definitely start and try it - might take longer but you will still have fun and make friends (maybe more) on the way
@@garethbuttery8996 I'm a shite dancer, took salsa and bachata lessons for a year. I was worse after than before.
But I saw first-hand how little competition there was for us men. Women were there for the taking, just waiting for a man to lead them. If only they could apply that mindset to other aspects of life.
I claimed that I had 2 1/2 left feet. If I could learn, anyone can. Just takes a lot of hard work. Practice, practice, practice. All those good dancers you see: they all worked hard. Both men and women. Anyone who claims that it is their blood is lying; they are the absolute worst dancers, and I have had a broken finger and a broken toe to prove it.
Those who grow up dancing "native" dances have to unlearn their bad habits.
@@RobertLopez-yx3co You are lucky; in Silicon Valley, the ratio of men to women is 3:1.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 cracked me up
I have really good 'insider' info on this scene
My mate from college is latin american and he got a gig as a DJ in one of these latin nights in a local club, lots of 'hens nights', the womento men ratio really high. He had two younger brothers, one of them above average looks and both really well versed in the salsa moves. They both used to to do really really well - Im talking dancing with 5-6 women a night (better looking one even more), feeling up tipsy women, getting numbers, taking them home. Even my mate the DJ got some and he was overweight and not a looker :)
Not a place to look for a wife thats for sure
Yoga is quite a different experience than dancing. There really isn’t much interaction at all with yoga.
What’s it like? Yoga women seem to be into their own self-care the most.
Add zouk to the dances. It's very popular in the UK scene the teachers are mostly black men from France.
In latin countries, dancing is a social pastime, and not necessarily sexual. Of course, leave it up to our repressed Anglosphere culture that got infected with the sexual revolution to mess it up. North American 304s find any excuse to do the horizontal samba.
Dancing sucks. Nothing is created. That's why women love dancing. Women are extremely uncreative. Who designed and built your car? House? Landscape? Men.
Remember guys: men create, women take.
@@GettingAlotDone Based
Men have been dancing for ever. Even the staid English had dances.
sexist BS. What did the late great Keith Flint of the prodigy do?!
@@OxymoronicTonic
You dance like a foolish puppet. It's all you. I work hard, learn and create.
At my dance class, it's 90% couples :(
Got to go to private lessons and actually get good enough to perform a showcase. Mainly in cha cha and swing or rumba. Do that and you’ll get more success in dating apps. Way more attractive women are looking my way now because of it.
Classes are formal. You learn a pattern. You have to be extremely focused. You try out with several partners. One class should be followed by 5 hours of social dancing. That is where you either hook up or don't. Your choice.
😈
J.cole already said that shit never save women
God bless.
My new wife is an instructor and actually represented her country, I am uncomfortable with it but also try to go with the King doesn't get fazed and I do trust her but yeah...
Bruv, you have confused "fazed" with "phased".
@kane_lives ha true, must have been thinking of a phaser guitar pedal.. 😎
One long rant while sitting in a car. Try writing thoughts down, and record in a home studio. More editing, too.