You cast “Vicious Mockery”. What do you say to hurt your opponent? part2

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  • Опубликовано: 8 фев 2025
  • You cast “Vicious Mockery”. What do you say to hurt your opponent?
    Put your stories in the comments below they could be in our next video! If you have your own video ideas submit them to us on Reddit at r/MrRipper
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Комментарии • 467

  • @shanepatrick6836
    @shanepatrick6836 11 месяцев назад +350

    (On passing my save against Vicious Mockery) “Careful there. Where I come from, it is considered bad luck to use your entire vocabulary in a single sentence.”

    • @fumikagetokoyami.
      @fumikagetokoyami. 11 месяцев назад +62

      I'm pretty sure you just forcefully cast power word kill with a cantrip

    • @Morbidity100
      @Morbidity100 11 месяцев назад +24

      Reverse UNO

  • @Blar408
    @Blar408 11 месяцев назад +40

    "If laughter is the best medicine, your visage must be curing all the ails of the land."
    "I'm not insulting you, sir. I'm describing you."
    "I'm jealous of those who have never seen you!"

  • @GlitchGhost1285
    @GlitchGhost1285 11 месяцев назад +115

    Vicious Mockery: I bet you carry milk in your water skin in hope of that it will give your father a reason to come back.

    • @yugijak
      @yugijak 11 месяцев назад +13

      You're supposed to mock them not murder them

  • @thanetastic5608
    @thanetastic5608 11 месяцев назад +355

    It looks like you’re being sued for plagiarism by multiple parties because of how unoriginal your backstory is.

    • @lexcentrique2554
      @lexcentrique2554 9 месяцев назад +12

      You didn't have to go that hard.

    • @chrisysk91
      @chrisysk91 6 месяцев назад +9

      This should be called murderous mockery

    • @waynemidnight7454
      @waynemidnight7454 4 месяца назад +1

      Almost any RPG final boss ever

    • @stormtendo
      @stormtendo 3 месяца назад +1

      Bro that’s just Verbal Murder not Vicious Mockery

  • @bryanfreet8205
    @bryanfreet8205 11 месяцев назад +125

    "Bloody hell, casting Feeblemind on you might *improve* your personality."

  • @astercat49
    @astercat49 11 месяцев назад +134

    “When you get to Hell, tell them I sent you. And then apologize for the inconvenience.”

    • @Oliver-Thyella
      @Oliver-Thyella 11 месяцев назад +12

      Is exploding a requirement for it to work?

    • @astercat49
      @astercat49 11 месяцев назад +10

      @Oliver-Thyella I see you understood what I was referencing.

    • @carebloodlaevathein6732
      @carebloodlaevathein6732 11 месяцев назад +14

      Where you see one guy, I C4~

    • @ApatheticGod0
      @ApatheticGod0 11 месяцев назад +7

      @@carebloodlaevathein6732he was a-

    • @zambekiller
      @zambekiller 11 месяцев назад +7

      I used this in my campaign and none of my players got it instead they just accused me of creating a dmpc

  • @thethirdolmak9061
    @thethirdolmak9061 10 месяцев назад +28

    “Fighting you is more disappointing than finding a cookie tin filled with sewing supplies. Because at least the sewing supplies have a purpose.”

  • @samanbouniady
    @samanbouniady 10 месяцев назад +34

    “I believe all beings are perfectly made to be themselves, but that does not mean I can’t be disappointed by what that perfection is.”

  • @SonicDestroyer12
    @SonicDestroyer12 11 месяцев назад +43

    "I hope you didn't plan on leading a virtuous life, otherwise after this there will be no heaven and _ten_ hells...the tenth being reserved for spending eternity with you."
    "Don't be mad that I'm insulting you, be grateful that I'm paying more attention to you than your parents ever did."
    "You know, tarrasques are only considered immune to being frightened because, apparently, none of them have ever seen your face."

  • @spartanhawk7637
    @spartanhawk7637 11 месяцев назад +99

    Shout in a French accent "YOUR MOTHER WAS A HAMSTER!"

    • @zambekiller
      @zambekiller 11 месяцев назад +11

      And you're father is an elder berry

    • @ESw0rdsman
      @ESw0rdsman 10 месяцев назад +16

      @@zambekillerit’s “smells of elderberries”

    • @RiderAEonRanger
      @RiderAEonRanger 4 месяца назад

      @@ESw0rdsman "Now; go away or I shall taunt you a second time!"

    • @kuzeykavas3356
      @kuzeykavas3356 7 дней назад

      I FART IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION

    • @eternasapphiremoon81
      @eternasapphiremoon81 3 дня назад

      I fart in your general direction!

  • @nathanmarcano3171
    @nathanmarcano3171 11 месяцев назад +99

    "Your parents will never love you."
    It made the DM cry. I am no longer allowed to play a bard.

    • @sasha1mama
      @sasha1mama 10 месяцев назад +16

      God damn, musta struck a nerve. XD

    • @AzaloonyToons
      @AzaloonyToons 7 месяцев назад +7

      It is a simple, yet effective spell.

    • @justenoughrandomness8989
      @justenoughrandomness8989 7 месяцев назад +4

      maybe it was too irl?

    • @amberholt4412
      @amberholt4412 20 дней назад

      Please stop talking to yourself. It doesn't tell us anything we don't already know, but the constant reminders of how pathetic you are get depressing.

  • @MasterElements
    @MasterElements 11 месяцев назад +122

    In group it is a running joke that when you roll a 1 when casting Vicious Mockery all you can say is Deez Nuts.

    • @Morbidity100
      @Morbidity100 11 месяцев назад +6

      Do you mean for damage? The enemy rolls to save against Vicious Mockery, you don’t roll to attack.

    • @MasterElements
      @MasterElements 11 месяцев назад +8

      @@Morbidity100Ah the pathfinder 2 version is an attack spell and you roll to attack like a ranged attack.

    • @robinthrush9672
      @robinthrush9672 11 месяцев назад +3

      @@MasterElementsThat sounds so much more useful.

    • @MasterElements
      @MasterElements 11 месяцев назад

      @@robinthrush9672Pathfinder 2 is dope on so many levels, highly recommend

  • @blademon6
    @blademon6 11 месяцев назад +111

    Here's one, "Out of curiosity, did your birth cause your mom to be placed in the asylum, or was it your intelligence?"

  • @13thMaiden
    @13thMaiden 11 месяцев назад +108

    I had a friend who used southern lady insults:
    "Aw bless your heart, they're just _plain people,_ and there's nothing wrong with that."
    "Aw he's so confused, he doesn’t know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt!"
    "Hmmm. That form is a little like putting lipstick on a pig, isn’t it?"
    "I don’t care what anybody says. I think she’s pretty . . . in her _own way."_
    "It’s not their fault they weren’t raised right..."
    "You march to your own drummer, don’t you, sweetheart? Good for you. Good for you..."
    The passive aggressive mockery was perfect.

  • @BlackWolfessUSCM
    @BlackWolfessUSCM 11 месяцев назад +79

    My signature insult from my half-elf ranger is "I'm surprised you've never heard of the ugly tree since you hit every branch on the way down."

  • @dragonriderabens9761
    @dragonriderabens9761 11 месяцев назад +56

    friend of mine had a story that might fit here:
    BBEG is giving a speech about getting revenge for his brother, whom the party killed
    one player: "who?"
    DM: *spends 8 minutes IRL frantically searching for notes*
    BBEG: *canonically spends that same amount of time dying inside during that*

    • @keeganlafferty1395
      @keeganlafferty1395 11 месяцев назад +28

      bro pulled a "do you have the slightest idea how little that narrows it down?"

    • @gimmeyourrights8292
      @gimmeyourrights8292 10 месяцев назад +9

      Should've followed it up with "cares"

  • @adrianbrown3085
    @adrianbrown3085 11 месяцев назад +95

    "I'd describe your hideousness, but I'm getting really tired of the slander lawsuits I get from the things I compare you to."
    "Cthulhu said he won't wake up because he'll have to look at you if he does."
    "You're the only vampire ugly enough to scare away sunlight."

  • @evilauthor13
    @evilauthor13 11 месяцев назад +48

    I was having a disagreement with the party druid, so I told him "Your garden was overgrown and your cucumbers are soft." Dm asked me to roll vicious mockery.

  • @joshuawilliams8921
    @joshuawilliams8921 11 месяцев назад +18

    At 1st lvl against a Giant Rat, “Hey Ratatouille! Your five star Soufflé is just Five 1 star Yelp Reviews.”

  • @DHTheAlaskan
    @DHTheAlaskan 11 месяцев назад +39

    "At first I thought I would let you kill me to not have to see your face anymore, but I rather it not be the last thing I see."

  • @Jerrell7321
    @Jerrell7321 11 месяцев назад +26

    "You could drastically increase your net worth by merely becoming compost"

  • @kokonutz_1368
    @kokonutz_1368 11 месяцев назад +28

    "pandas mate more often than you" is the most cute yet the rudest insult i've ever heard !

  • @F1shyBab1shy
    @F1shyBab1shy 10 месяцев назад +12

    „Half the elf, twice the daddy issues!“ Antrius the Great

  • @mischake
    @mischake 11 месяцев назад +54

    "I'll pay you any amount of money if you don't sing"
    -seto kaiba, yugioh abridged

  • @ESw0rdsman
    @ESw0rdsman 10 месяцев назад +6

    Your existence is the funniest joke in the world (bonus points for anyone who gets the Monty Python reference, and the implications)

  • @ryanharper2898
    @ryanharper2898 10 месяцев назад +11

    Bob Ross will not call you a happy accident. He will call you a mistake.

  • @CheesyKnobby
    @CheesyKnobby 11 месяцев назад +24

    "I have eaten root vegetables I respect more than you."
    "Did you outsource your personality?"

    • @game84cube
      @game84cube 4 месяца назад

      Can I use the personality line? That's gold

    • @CheesyKnobby
      @CheesyKnobby 4 месяца назад

      @@game84cube all yours

  • @DietBuddah
    @DietBuddah 11 месяцев назад +19

    My centaur bard used vicious mockery on a snake-like creature last session. "You slimy, egg-laying salamander, I'm gonna make you into a pair of boots! And I don't even wear boots! That's how useless you are!"
    It got a great reaction from my fellow players.

  • @jakefrost7404
    @jakefrost7404 11 месяцев назад +39

    *_"Your mother was an elf!"_*
    *_~ Blit Sniksnik, Goblin bard_*

    • @minimalbstolerance8113
      @minimalbstolerance8113 11 месяцев назад +12

      ... And your father smells of elderberries...

    • @zambekiller
      @zambekiller 11 месяцев назад +9

      ​@@minimalbstolerance8113 now leave before I'm forced to insult you for a second time

    • @CJBolton83
      @CJBolton83 11 месяцев назад

      my current campaign character would of made a comeback saying "at least my mother was able to seduce a dragon than a ogre with an ugly face to whom you worship"

    • @sasha1mama
      @sasha1mama 10 месяцев назад +5

      "Yeah, well you're a blit."

  • @bomouth142
    @bomouth142 11 месяцев назад +13

    If your life was a book, it could only be sold as fire-starter.

    • @adrianbrown3085
      @adrianbrown3085 11 месяцев назад +5

      "You're so pathetic that when they tried to burn you at the stake, the fire got indignant!"

  • @ZombieDish
    @ZombieDish 11 месяцев назад +55

    I could have been your father but a dog beat me up the stairs.

  • @hogfry
    @hogfry 11 месяцев назад +13

    Is... is that a butterknife? The sword matches the manhood ya know.

  • @jakubtrapp3509
    @jakubtrapp3509 11 месяцев назад +16

    i got one
    (bard dwarf)
    "you khow in my country we say a dwarf is a dish prepared with the most care to make it as great as a dwarf can be BUT YOU WOULD TASTE SO BAD EVEN PIGS WOULDNT WANT YOU"

  • @charliejones7512
    @charliejones7512 11 месяцев назад +11

    We had quite a hilarious encounter in our last session. Our DM finished off the session before by saying ‘the black inky mass you see at the of the stone stairway turns out to be a Black Pudding. See you guys in 2 weeks.’ All of us groaned when we heard this and actually started to considering having new characters, since one of the other players (paladin) had experience of fighting against this creature in another campaign and it didn’t end well for one of her companions. Luckily, another of our players in game managed to identify what would help us. After we broke up for the session, we started planning for 2 weeks straight about what would be the best strategy. We had never been this concerned about any other creature in the game so far. 2 weeks comes and goes and we all meet up, eager to get this over with and hope for the best. Everyone rolled initiative. Ranger rolled high, so he went first. Both attacks miss. My Cleric rolled 2nd highest and instead of my first choice of using Beacon of Hope, I used Sacred Flame. I ended up doing critical damage. Next was Blood Hunter. He does crit damage as well. Paladin was after. Guess what? She used Guiding Bolt and that was a critical hit. In a space of 3 people, the Black Pudding was nothing more than a messy black sludge on the floor with the player playing as the Wizard a little upset he wasn’t able to get a Fireball in. The DM wasn’t certain what to say apart from ‘…well done’. As one of players put it best, imagine if the monster was doing nothing but chilling out at home, when suddenly, we come charging in, ramming down the door, and firing spells at it. After calming down, we continue on to the next part of our adventure.

  • @wesleythomas7125
    @wesleythomas7125 11 месяцев назад +11

    [Crying] "It's not the size that matters; it's how you use it!"

  • @batuarganda728
    @batuarganda728 9 месяцев назад +5

    The sirens stopped singing, bringing you aboard was a wise choice

  • @brianvance1178
    @brianvance1178 10 месяцев назад +3

    “Wow! I am profoundly impressed by how utterly incompetent you are”

  • @kevinthomas4064
    @kevinthomas4064 11 месяцев назад +16

    "You're a 3rd rate Dungeon Master with 4th rate dice" said Kaiba.
    Which was really said by our DM as we were roleplaying a dnd session in our yugioh themed dnd session.... Dnd Inception if you will

  • @redacted606
    @redacted606 11 месяцев назад +13

    Every breath you take without my permission sickens me, i request you stop.
    - bard taking out a bounty

  • @theforkedman3030
    @theforkedman3030 11 месяцев назад +26

    I gotta hit um with the "Your mother has a job and is a respected member of the community"

    • @greenapple9477
      @greenapple9477 11 месяцев назад +9

      "No one talks about my mom that way!" God, I love Billy and Mandy.

    • @theforkedman3030
      @theforkedman3030 11 месяцев назад +6

      @@greenapple9477 Hell yeah found a real one. It's cool that the show still holds up to.

  • @redbeard3574
    @redbeard3574 11 месяцев назад +15

    I got one!
    "This fight is so boring, I almost wish you'd just kill me and put me out of my misery... but we both know that's not possible."

  • @enderskunk7644
    @enderskunk7644 11 месяцев назад +12

    DM: how do you insult it?
    Bard: it's a wasp, that's not that hard

    • @Dualbladedscorpion7737
      @Dualbladedscorpion7737 11 месяцев назад +2

      Just bee thankful that it's a wasp and not a Japanese murder hornet hehe, 😅

    • @enderskunk7515
      @enderskunk7515 11 месяцев назад +3

      @@Dualbladedscorpion7737well, it was a giant wasp...

  • @TheBlackSquirrel
    @TheBlackSquirrel 11 месяцев назад +18

    I wrote several lyrics for my first bard to use for Vicious Mockery, so here's one of them:
    Good sir, I got som news for you
    And don't take this the wrong way
    Your face belongs inside a zoo
    Behind the bars on display
    But don't be sad I'll be there too
    But mostly just to laugh at you
    You smell like a hog
    That was shot on the sight
    It's a miracle if you can sleep at night
    (To the melody of ""Rövarnas visa" by Smatterbandet.)

  • @kanjigodomo9696
    @kanjigodomo9696 10 месяцев назад +6

    My current bard didn't pick up vicious mockery, but this has inspired me to put something down:
    "I see you're wanted dead or alive, so we flipped a coin to decide your fate. That's the only coin we'll see from this endeavor."

  • @gethriel
    @gethriel 11 месяцев назад +5

    "Here, let me help you achieve your greatest purpose in life: decomposing for the plants at your feet!"

  • @noahwilson3809
    @noahwilson3809 10 месяцев назад +6

    “Vecna took one look at you and said you’re not a secret worth keeping. And the moment you were born, the entire multiverse stampeded to beg him for mercy.”
    “Your hideousness is so indescribable, it makes Cthulhu scream in horror.”
    “You know how the worst women can say is no? Even succubi would go ‘ew’ after one look at you.”
    “Did it hurt when you fell from Mount Celestia? Well, be grateful, because that was an improvement after they saw YOUR ugly as-sin mug.”
    “If a necromancer raised you from the dead, he’d be quick to convert to a priest after witnessing the horror he unleashed.”
    “You’re so ugly as-sin that the gods banned you from every temple and church to prevent their desecration. Yes, even the evil gods, because even THEY have standards.”
    “The Night Hag who kidnapped you demanded an apology from your parents when she returned your ugly mug to their doorstep. And even then your parents would take the changeling over you.”
    “Green Hags don’t need to do anything with you around. You already make the world a miserable place with your meaningless existence.”
    “A False Hydra would vomit mid-song if it ate you.”
    “Satyrs would need viagra to feel something again after one look at you.”
    “If a Forest Giant boasted about you, he’d instantly be disqualified from the boasting contest at the mention of your name.”
    “The tarrasque would rather go back to sleep than have to look at you.”
    “You actually make minotaurs look smart. In fact, they make fun of you for not being able to solve a maze.”
    “Sirens shut up immediately when they see you at sea. You’re not worth their time and voice.”
    “Asmodeus would add a 10th Hell if it meant you’re as far and away from him as infernally possible.”
    “Dendar would immediately become ouroboros upon seeing you. But that’s only temporary since she’ll be trying to eat herself from existence to get away from you.”

  • @entityofcreation1770
    @entityofcreation1770 11 месяцев назад +15

    Here's one I read a while ago and really liked "Your none of your best friends, best friend"

    • @Saidwhatisaid11
      @Saidwhatisaid11 11 месяцев назад +1

      I’ve seen that one too 😂😂😂😂😂

    • @adamschank7703
      @adamschank7703 11 месяцев назад +2

      That is good, but I personally think it's a bit too vague. What about, "All of the people you consider to be a best friend only think of you as an acquaintance!".

    • @Saidwhatisaid11
      @Saidwhatisaid11 11 месяцев назад +1

      @@adamschank7703 yeah, that would definitely be good for vicious mockery.

    • @entityofcreation1770
      @entityofcreation1770 11 месяцев назад +1

      @@adamschank7703 dang that shattered even my self confidence

  • @jondawson7911
    @jondawson7911 11 месяцев назад +9

    "I didn't know non-dragonborn got breath weapons."

  • @CopiumCentral1027
    @CopiumCentral1027 4 месяца назад +4

    “You didn’t live up to the potential Mr. Rogers saw in you.”

  • @Isleep1532
    @Isleep1532 4 месяца назад +2

    “Mr. Rogers wouldn’t want to be your neighbor”

  • @elijahhayter3026
    @elijahhayter3026 10 месяцев назад +6

    “Trust me, this’ll be over quick. If his lovers are to be trusted, it will only take a single stroke.” -my sword’s bard in a public duel, to the prince’s fiancé.

  • @anonymousfox4620
    @anonymousfox4620 11 месяцев назад +6

    I've been waiting to find a lich for this one: "I once met a hobo who learned magic all by himself and he could still cast better magic then you ever did in your entire lifetime."

  • @vagrantapartmentink1481
    @vagrantapartmentink1481 11 месяцев назад +6

    "The most _____________ part of you dried up on your mothers thigh!" (talented for a bard, faithful for a cleric, etc etc its a multipurpose burn)

  • @ace_r_ola
    @ace_r_ola 6 месяцев назад +8

    The one about intelligence below room temperature is even more devastating if you use Celsius, because that would be around 20 😂

  • @jamiealmenning-lland8805
    @jamiealmenning-lland8805 4 месяца назад +1

    Bob ross couldn't even say you were a happy little accident, he could only call you a mistake.

  • @Saidwhatisaid11
    @Saidwhatisaid11 11 месяцев назад +14

    I LOVE the vicious mockery videos 🥰🥰🥰😂😂😂

  • @joedepersiis9150
    @joedepersiis9150 10 месяцев назад +2

    "I envy everyone you've never met"

  • @arachineatzeer7478
    @arachineatzeer7478 10 месяцев назад +2

    4:31 I knew I heard this one before and it was extremely savage then, this time is still good

  • @maskednobody7906
    @maskednobody7906 Месяц назад +1

    "Even though clear instructions were made to your parents, mistakes still come out and one is facing me"

  • @vagrantapartmentink1481
    @vagrantapartmentink1481 11 месяцев назад +3

    Your successes in life make me feel good about my own failures

  • @silentshadow9983
    @silentshadow9983 10 месяцев назад +2

    3:03 the editor has earned my respect

  • @Traybobo
    @Traybobo 11 месяцев назад +1

    My players used vicious mockery to make a turtle necromancer scared of the word "Dinner" forever

  • @Saidwhatisaid11
    @Saidwhatisaid11 11 месяцев назад +12

    LAST THING YOU VANQUISHED WAS YO MAMAS RESPECT FOR YOU
    ANDDD the
    YOU ONLY COMMIT CRIMES ONE 😂😂

  • @_qwerty_3545
    @_qwerty_3545 10 месяцев назад +2

    "You're how old?! Damn, all that time and yet you still haven't amonted to anything."

  • @SnowySabreToothedLeopard
    @SnowySabreToothedLeopard 11 месяцев назад +2

    Me to an Oathbreaker: "How does it feel to be Rejected by your Own Oath?"

    • @yugijak
      @yugijak 11 месяцев назад

      Oh my word

    • @kanjigodomo9696
      @kanjigodomo9696 10 месяцев назад

      "Don't even say that now you have nothing to lose. Three reasons as to why. One, and the most obvious of which, it's a cliche. Two, you had nothing to start with. And three, that just makes you an easier target."

  • @robmac2617
    @robmac2617 11 месяцев назад +1

    "I bet you can't make a starving succubus sign a pact with you. Bonus if she sends herself back to avernas via seppuku."

  • @OmegaDragonGaming
    @OmegaDragonGaming 10 месяцев назад +1

    "The beholder had to look away from you, or it would explode from the sight of your face."

  • @billcox8870
    @billcox8870 11 месяцев назад +2

    I say to the ork, thank you for that wonderful vegetable soup recipe.

  • @disableddragonborn
    @disableddragonborn 10 месяцев назад +2

    2:31 "Such a weird insult!" and yet upon looking at the First Edition beholder, I somehow recognized a few people I've seen in my life. 🤣

    • @trishapellis
      @trishapellis 8 месяцев назад

      The first edition drawings of just about anything look pretty bad these days.

    • @disableddragonborn
      @disableddragonborn 8 месяцев назад

      @@trishapellis True.

  • @juliusgarets9607
    @juliusgarets9607 10 месяцев назад +2

    "when you say your gonna school me, is that because you are delusional enough to think you can beat me, or because the public education system actually beat you."

  • @ZombieDish
    @ZombieDish 11 месяцев назад +6

    You were never weaned is my bards go to.

  • @lotsaspaghetticodejr.6488
    @lotsaspaghetticodejr.6488 Месяц назад

    "I mean I set the bar pretty low with you, but you still went and brought a shovel..."

  • @Dualbladedscorpion7737
    @Dualbladedscorpion7737 11 месяцев назад +4

    We need a part 3

  • @hokienshen9309
    @hokienshen9309 5 часов назад

    Santa Claus doesn't put you on either of his list so he could avoid seeing you

  • @russdarracott395
    @russdarracott395 11 месяцев назад +5

    Love that tabaxi line.

  • @thunderthunderstorms8828
    @thunderthunderstorms8828 8 месяцев назад +2

    4:32 May Jo-cat be remembered fondly.

  • @StormyTh115
    @StormyTh115 11 месяцев назад +1

    "By the gods, give me your weapon. At least then, it may actually get some blood on it."

  • @AzaloonyToons
    @AzaloonyToons 7 месяцев назад +1

    “With your build, we would’ve mistaken you for Themberchaud… but dear god you are so much worse.”

  • @golett0331
    @golett0331 11 месяцев назад +5

    "You used standard array and still got a 3 in intelligence?"

  • @InfernalBanana
    @InfernalBanana 10 месяцев назад

    “You’ve made me want to learn enchantment magic solely so I can make myself forget this experience”

  • @glitchminer7526
    @glitchminer7526 2 месяца назад

    “Oh boy this one is bad enough for everything because they want to die and don’t want to be listening for all this”

  • @LiamDaniels-np3vl
    @LiamDaniels-np3vl 2 месяца назад

    You look like you know what all the flavors of crayons are by heart and glue to

  • @Brendan1259
    @Brendan1259 11 месяцев назад +1

    "Please, Ive seen Galatians Cubes with more Charisma then you!"

  • @reddiamond2547
    @reddiamond2547 11 месяцев назад +2

    Just a few off the top of my head.
    "You look like you have a favorite crayon flavor."
    "They say it's nearly impossible to make a Golem out of dung, but here you stand."
    "You are the reason the fighter took blind fighting"
    "You are less dangerous than a paralyzed squirrel"
    "You are the reason your father went to market and never returned"
    "They say a life domain cleric can heal any issue, but I don't think even the gods can heal *gestures limply* whatever that is"
    "I bet you get this all the time, but you have the face of a writer"
    "Ahh, now I get why it smells like a Sewer in here"

  • @userunknown5322
    @userunknown5322 3 месяца назад

    "wow, you're so self destructive that Kirby's poison ability would likely be a heal for you."

  • @theartificialidiot6276
    @theartificialidiot6276 10 месяцев назад +1

    "I think you're supposed to keep your sword smooth and your brain in your head, not vice versa."

  • @AgateRF
    @AgateRF 11 месяцев назад +8

    "Atrocious thing! I would pay any amount of gold to never gaze upon you again!"

  • @romeonoane1286
    @romeonoane1286 11 месяцев назад +1

    Love the club penguin dojo music 😂❤❤

  • @wafflemaster-vb5hb
    @wafflemaster-vb5hb Месяц назад

    "bob ross doesn't call you a 'happy little accident'. you are a mistake".

  • @cryptotech3463
    @cryptotech3463 11 месяцев назад +7

    Your mom was a terrasqe and your dad was a very brave goblin, But you got none of the good traits from either.

  • @SirPogsalotCreates
    @SirPogsalotCreates 11 месяцев назад +2

    "If I wanted to kill myself I'd jump from your ego to your INT score!"
    "You're denser than a black hole, and about as bright as one too!"
    "I take psychic damage every time I look at you!"
    "I'd cast Feeblemind but I don't think it would change anything!"
    "You look like you actually think True Strike is viable!"
    "I would have hit you just then but my sword recoiled in disgust!"

  • @CharlesGriswold
    @CharlesGriswold 11 месяцев назад +1

    My character once accused a fiend, in its native language, of having a loving consensual relationship with a celestial. Not, alas, as part of casting Vicious Mockery.

  • @dugbyfly
    @dugbyfly 5 месяцев назад

    "You're probably not the most oxygenated trout in the river, are you ?"

  • @westernjustice3824
    @westernjustice3824 10 месяцев назад +1

    "If raccoons are trash pandas what does that make you an otyughs crap after taco hell". (bell)

  • @robertsilvermyst7325
    @robertsilvermyst7325 10 месяцев назад +1

    "They say one should not speak ill of the dead. So to you I say: Nice try."
    ~Spoken to a group of bandits by the party Paladin.

  • @TheGrayAllay
    @TheGrayAllay 11 месяцев назад +2

    Here's this one: "This is a waste of a spell slot."

  • @CharrlesChervanik
    @CharrlesChervanik 10 месяцев назад +1

    I was a DM in highschool. Some of my favorites from my players or myself from the two campaigns I ran.
    "What kind of repugnant Swine do you believe yourself to be?" (BBEG Bard Taunting the party before demension dooring away)
    "I knew a Narcisistic Drug addict with a Temperment problem that I would put more trust in than you." (The quiet member of the group playing a Bard for the first time in a oneshot)
    'I'd say the barbarian bludgeoning you with his hammer would probably fix your face, but we are Adventurers not Plastic Surgeons."
    "What's the matter, seeing double?" (Has Mirror Image up, starting a fight at a Tavern with a drunkard in the Fight pit)
    "How many times do I have to say it: just because you have a shit eating grin, doesn't mean you should literally eat shit to have it." (After the monk crit twice on a stunned target and was pummeling the poor bastard in the dirt.)
    "I would say 'slow down', but if you were any slower, you'd have an IQ comparable to a Freshly salted snail." (The wizard had just cast slow after the party cleric Bane'd them)
    "Wait, what was that?" Followed by a "What?" Every round to heckle the hell out of them. (*Insert the Stone cold "What?" chant here.*)
    "Damn, that looked like it hurt. Hello? Is there anybody home" *proceeds to knock on their head narratively as a free action*
    There are more but some are vile and would definitely get banned.

  • @StinkerTheFirst
    @StinkerTheFirst 7 месяцев назад

    I wasn't expecting a "Weakest LInk" reference. That was a treat.

  • @malthungaming3466
    @malthungaming3466 11 месяцев назад +1

    "Who's this clown again?"
    "I'm sorry, were you speaking?"
    "You're not worth the breath needed for this spell."
    "Ah. So THAT'S where the last plain ham sandwich got off to! Now it's gone bad!"

  • @formerlyspade
    @formerlyspade 11 месяцев назад +1

    “Your parents clearly rolled a natural one making your face.”
    “You have the worth of a level one fiend.”