One of my favourite pieces of advice: When someone says "I hate you." Or "I love you" or similar, they are telling you a piece of information about themselves. They aren't telling you anything about yourself. This perspective helped me detach from other people's views of me and stop defining myself by them
"Why does anyone deserve your love and respect more than you?" I said basically this to my niece years ago when she didn't want to "be mean" to her bully.
Eleanor Roosevelt said something like, “Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.” I think it’s really powerful. If you’re happy with yourself, what other people say doesn’t have to affect you at all, because you know it’s false.
I was also on the receiving end of "ew you like that music?" and it definitely affected me after that. I'm still not fully comfortable sharing y music but I've gotten better at it!
Not really a piece of advice but rather a saying that has got me thinking a lot lately is "There is a difference in needing someone and wanting someone"
When trying out for something like a job interview or audition I always tell myself "I don't have it now so if I don't get it I won't lose anything. Nothing will change if I don't get it." helps me not be so afraid of failure. Apply or try out for everything you want, the worst thing that will happen is your life will stay the same.
I can't remember who I got it from but I definitely took it to heart: if I see something I like (someone's hair color/style, their jewelry, their clothes, etc), I always try to tell them. Everyone likes getting compliments on things they have control over. I've found that people especially love telling you if they got a great deal on something or if someone they love gave it them. It's a great and easy way to spend positivity!
love what you're saying. i think you made a mistake, you said "everyone likes getting complaints on things they have control over" but i believe you meant "everyone likes getting compliments on things they have control over" just a tiny mistake, again, i love the message you have.
This has actually made me feel a lot better. Especially the peer pressure one. I'm a teenager (oof) and while my friends are all really chill, but some other people I know make me feel like I need to like certain things or act a certain way, but what you said makes me feel a lot better about just stuff in general.
peer pressure continues past school unfortunately, it just becomes about the car you drive or where you live... keep resisting it as you get older. I promise you will be happier for it. Not falling in with peer pressure is the single best thing I have ever done for myself.
Something I’ve been thinking about is when I heard someone say “anything worth doing is worth doing badly”. I think of it as a like, just do your best type of thing and it’s very comforting.
Never regret a decision. It's not catchy, but bear with me: If you decided for A agains B and then you are unhappy with A, don't regret deciding it for two reasons. First of all: you made the best choice you could have made with all the information that you had available at that time. There's no point regretting a decision if you couldn't have known better. Second: Who knows how B would have turned out!? You thought A was better, and now it's not like you thought it would be. Who says B would have been better? It might have been even worse. (This second point obviously doesn't apply for things like lottery numbers, where there is a clear answer of what's better afterwards, but in this case, focus on the first reason). My mum once told me that and I'm not sure she was aware of how profound this is when she said it. I think it's the best advice I've ever gotten in my life.
A Shaaba video, an OT video and a Jamie video that was posted tomorrow but I watched today all in one day?! I am blessed!!!! "Uncertainty, death and taxes!" Overly accurate. Also, isn't Death and Taxes a game? I think there's a song I like based on it.
You are all worth it, you need to keep going I know you can do it. You are all great people and deserve a amazing life. Remember there will always be someone there for you, you are loved.
Best advice I ever got is "You don't matter!" I had panic attacks about what people thought of me (triggered initially by a sudden medical hormonal imbalance that turned me from mentally healthy person into a depressed and anxious mess, so I was not used to feeling like shit before). I started having panic attacks about giving presentations at work which i never in my life had a problem with. I didn't eat, I didn't sleep, nothing. The only thing that helped me out this was realizing that I matter shit to other people (particularly everyone in that room listening to my presentations). I don't matter to them, they won't judge me as much as I think they do and they all have their own problems that are occupying their thoughts much more than my performance does. As soon as we walk out that room they will immediately forget about me, I don't matter! Kids remember: YOU DON'T MATTER SHIT TO 99.9999999% OF HUMAN KIND and that's awesome!
I lost my mum not long ago and shaabas videos always cheer me up and feel better even at me darkest of times and truly never fail to put a smile on my face! So thank you shaaba :)
Shaaba's voice is literally the most soothing thing in the world. When I'm going through awful shit, Shaaba never fails to cheer me up, and it's really validating to hear that other people feel the same. It really sucks that you lost your mom and I hope your doing alright✨❤️
"You are not your intrusive thoughts" The more you cringe at your past self- the more proof that you've grown since then Your mental health affects everything, it is the most important priority in your daily life
It's less advice, more of a little information nugget for those like myself who experience hallucinations related to panic attacks/anxiety. For me they are a very regular occurrence and although relatively minor I found that they bothered me significantly less when I realised that they are just the result of your brain subconsciously trying to make sense of your anxiety. The anxiety/panic attack is telling your brain that you are in danger but your brain can't find a source of danger, it just knows that there has to be something so it invents something in the form of auditory or visual hallucinations. I explained it much better to the crisis team last time the police ended up taking me to the hospital and they said they would use the explanation I gave them in future to explainit to other people. I just wish I could remember my exact wording but that whole experience is pretty blurry for obvious reasons. Ive found that if you are able to recognise and rationalise what's happening in the moment sometimes (depending on the severity and the specific trigger if there is one) it can stop that spiralling in its tracks. You'll probably still have the adrenaline dump and associated physical symptoms and its not going to work for everyone but it might be helpful to someone so I thought it was worth sharing, especially since seeing/hearing things can be really terrifying and was something I was afraid to admit was happening to me for a long time for fear of being seen as a crazy person
Thank you for sharing this. When my anxiety is bad, I think I see cockroaches that aren't actually there (I have a bad phobia) and I have always felt a bit crazy about it. That is a great way to word it, I never realized what that connection might be before now. I feel a bit less crazy, and a bit less alone as well. I hope life is kind to you 💜
I love the ‘something not getting what you want’ advice! Me and my husband had put an offer in on a house that didn’t end up working out and a few days later we found our dream home that is is bigger, nicer and cheaper then the first one we put an offer in on!
I've felt that exact same way about liking types of music. I've had that exact experience. It's validating hearing you talk about it, honestly. Your videos are always amazinf Shaaba.
I am so happy with finding your channel tonight at 2 am in the morning... It's such inspiring place on the internet! You radiate such contagious positivity. I must confess I am working now with my psychologist on some stuff and today was a hard day. specially thinking of my future college/upper studies. So listening to your inspiring words made me ease my anxiety in some way. It's so amazing the impact you can have on us. But well, you already researched about that ;)
"Everything is survivable (except death)" - good for all your "oh no a catastrophe this is horrible I am going to die" moments that do not actually result in death, only undesired results. Confront the reality, not your imagined catastrophe. "It will get done, because it must get done" - best choice for any and all unsurmountable tasks that must be surmounted. Do not fall for peer pressure, it will not make you feel better (you will feel worse). Bonus life changing youtube video is Invocation for Beginnings by Ze Frank, but that might be a deep cut, YMMV.
Some life changing advice I have for potential writers (this could apply to anything but as a writer myself, it's something I needed to hear when I started out): 'Every great writer has written rubbish books.' Great writers weren’t born able to write good books instead they started out writing rubbish books and they developed their writing skills through practice. Every rubbish book u write is an opportunity to practice and don’t worry if ur writing rubbish books now as ur practising and learning from ur rubbish books.
Im a 27 yr old female and have olive skin on mum's side of my family and spanish blood on the bio dad's side and i have quite dark and rhick hair and a lot of it. I was bullied a lot as a kid for this even unintentionally by my own family and its left me with a lot of trauma. Like you, i have intense plucking fixations which actually causes a fair bit of damage. And when i was younger, id dream of laser hair removal and would even fantasise (trigger warning for burns victims, i am so sorry) but even as a child and a teen, i would fantasise about setting myself on fire because it would burn of the hair and "then i wont be gross and ugly" which is of course SUPER DUPER FUCKED UP. Im super aware and feel awful for having this mentality when i was younger when there are people who have struggled with life being a burns victim. Society is super fucked up and its a process to unlearn these things and come to accept yourself. Im getting there but its still hard. I hope anyone else in similar situations knows you are beautiful and loved just the way you are xx obviously do what makes you happy, but do it for you
The only profound advice I really have is that if someone (romantically) stops loving you, you shouldn’t blame them or yourself, the heart wants what it wants but is fickle and sometimes someone will stop loving you for no reason at all and it just happens.
tw// eating disorder so i have recently started recovery for an ed, and its been just,, so relieving?? to admit that i have a problem?? like i don't know, but it just kept feeling like 'oh i am not sick enough for this to be a problem' or 'but i can stop this whenever i want so i dont need help' and i just,, its really weird
Like, no advice will help if you don't know how to apply it... you need to figure out yourself first, but that's hard... personally I just don't get myself...
Any advice for me? I feel doom, i never have any dream or picture my own future. It is shocking i even made it till this year. I also am unemployed and currently the burden of the family. I feel like there os no more future for me if there was ever. I try to seek for mental health but nothing help and I can’t pay for the private one. 🗿 i maybe doom and have no other choices.
One thing to look forward to soon. It can be small, but something that sounds nice in the next few days. Slowly building on that and intentionally planning those regular enjoyable things was a key factor in clawing my way out of the two worst points in my life. It's obviously not a cure all, but I hope it helps.
Sending you hugs, friend. A life-long lesson (I am still learning myself) is to accept that we all have inherent worth and value in this world. We do not need to earn love or our right to live. We just live and love... "Let me think about the people who I care about the most, and how when they fail or disappoint me…I still love them, I still give them chances, and I still see the best in them. Let me extend that generosity to myself." (Ze Frank, An Invocation for Beginnings). Try to believe your friends and family love and care for you the way you do for them. You are worthy of care and love. Your future will come as sure as the sun will rise tomorrow, it is okay if you aren't sure what the sunrise will look like just yet. Take it a day at a time, give yourself grace, and walk towards your own sunrise. It will become clear in time.
Thanks for the video Shaaba! I'm again not getting notifications for you, but at least I am still subscribed. Are you and Jaime going to react to the Dave Chappelle special like you did with Dave's hero, JK Rowling?
![[Full Story] My Husband Abandoned Me During Labor After Getting a Text About His Sister's...](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Idfb0QAzeas/mqdefault.jpg)
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![Lil Uzi Vert - Chill Bae [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/D7F42F_JM3U/mqdefault.jpg)
One of my favourite pieces of advice:
When someone says "I hate you." Or "I love you" or similar, they are telling you a piece of information about themselves. They aren't telling you anything about yourself.
This perspective helped me detach from other people's views of me and stop defining myself by them
"Why does anyone deserve your love and respect more than you?"
I said basically this to my niece years ago when she didn't want to "be mean" to her bully.
Eleanor Roosevelt said something like, “Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.” I think it’s really powerful. If you’re happy with yourself, what other people say doesn’t have to affect you at all, because you know it’s false.
I was also on the receiving end of "ew you like that music?" and it definitely affected me after that. I'm still not fully comfortable sharing y music but I've gotten better at it!
Yep same, also how i dress, or how I do my makeup gets alot of ppl judging me
Not really a piece of advice but rather a saying that has got me thinking a lot lately is "There is a difference in needing someone and wanting someone"
There are no "negative" emotions, we're all just humans with a full range of emotions. It's ok to feel any if them at any time.
When trying out for something like a job interview or audition I always tell myself "I don't have it now so if I don't get it I won't lose anything. Nothing will change if I don't get it." helps me not be so afraid of failure.
Apply or try out for everything you want, the worst thing that will happen is your life will stay the same.
I can't remember who I got it from but I definitely took it to heart: if I see something I like (someone's hair color/style, their jewelry, their clothes, etc), I always try to tell them. Everyone likes getting compliments on things they have control over. I've found that people especially love telling you if they got a great deal on something or if someone they love gave it them. It's a great and easy way to spend positivity!
This is exactly my sneaky way of teaching male classmates about sexism. I call it "how to give genuine compliments".
love what you're saying. i think you made a mistake, you said "everyone likes getting complaints on things they have control over" but i believe you meant "everyone likes getting compliments on things they have control over" just a tiny mistake, again, i love the message you have.
@Shakespeare's Reincarnation lmao that's exactly what I meant, thank you for correcting my dyslexic ass!
This has actually made me feel a lot better. Especially the peer pressure one. I'm a teenager (oof) and while my friends are all really chill, but some other people I know make me feel like I need to like certain things or act a certain way, but what you said makes me feel a lot better about just stuff in general.
peer pressure continues past school unfortunately, it just becomes about the car you drive or where you live... keep resisting it as you get older. I promise you will be happier for it. Not falling in with peer pressure is the single best thing I have ever done for myself.
@@CrossoverGenius That makes me feel both worse and a lot better at the same time. Thank you.
"it may not be their fault, but it's still their problem" =ooo
Something I’ve been thinking about is when I heard someone say “anything worth doing is worth doing badly”. I think of it as a like, just do your best type of thing and it’s very comforting.
Never regret a decision.
It's not catchy, but bear with me:
If you decided for A agains B and then you are unhappy with A, don't regret deciding it for two reasons. First of all: you made the best choice you could have made with all the information that you had available at that time. There's no point regretting a decision if you couldn't have known better. Second: Who knows how B would have turned out!? You thought A was better, and now it's not like you thought it would be. Who says B would have been better? It might have been even worse. (This second point obviously doesn't apply for things like lottery numbers, where there is a clear answer of what's better afterwards, but in this case, focus on the first reason). My mum once told me that and I'm not sure she was aware of how profound this is when she said it. I think it's the best advice I've ever gotten in my life.
I love this!!
A Shaaba video, an OT video and a Jamie video that was posted tomorrow but I watched today all in one day?! I am blessed!!!!
"Uncertainty, death and taxes!" Overly accurate. Also, isn't Death and Taxes a game? I think there's a song I like based on it.
You are all worth it, you need to keep going I know you can do it. You are all great people and deserve a amazing life. Remember there will always be someone there for you, you are loved.
Aw thank you! And I hope you believe this for yourself too!
@Prickly_Cactus, I love your profile picture :D
The best life advice this channel has given me is purple brockley, it really helped 🥦💜
Best advice I ever got is "You don't matter!"
I had panic attacks about what people thought of me (triggered initially by a sudden medical hormonal imbalance that turned me from mentally healthy person into a depressed and anxious mess, so I was not used to feeling like shit before). I started having panic attacks about giving presentations at work which i never in my life had a problem with. I didn't eat, I didn't sleep, nothing. The only thing that helped me out this was realizing that I matter shit to other people (particularly everyone in that room listening to my presentations). I don't matter to them, they won't judge me as much as I think they do and they all have their own problems that are occupying their thoughts much more than my performance does. As soon as we walk out that room they will immediately forget about me, I don't matter!
Kids remember: YOU DON'T MATTER SHIT TO 99.9999999% OF HUMAN KIND and that's awesome!
I lost my mum not long ago and shaabas videos always cheer me up and feel better even at me darkest of times and truly never fail to put a smile on my face! So thank you shaaba :)
Shaaba's voice is literally the most soothing thing in the world. When I'm going through awful shit, Shaaba never fails to cheer me up, and it's really validating to hear that other people feel the same. It really sucks that you lost your mom and I hope your doing alright✨❤️
"You are not your intrusive thoughts"
The more you cringe at your past self- the more proof that you've grown since then
Your mental health affects everything, it is the most important priority in your daily life
The last one is really good to turn someone down... like "loving someone is easier than liking them, and I just really like you :)"
If someone bullies you for ur hobbies, don't change them, or quit anything.
It's less advice, more of a little information nugget for those like myself who experience hallucinations related to panic attacks/anxiety. For me they are a very regular occurrence and although relatively minor I found that they bothered me significantly less when I realised that they are just the result of your brain subconsciously trying to make sense of your anxiety. The anxiety/panic attack is telling your brain that you are in danger but your brain can't find a source of danger, it just knows that there has to be something so it invents something in the form of auditory or visual hallucinations. I explained it much better to the crisis team last time the police ended up taking me to the hospital and they said they would use the explanation I gave them in future to explainit to other people. I just wish I could remember my exact wording but that whole experience is pretty blurry for obvious reasons. Ive found that if you are able to recognise and rationalise what's happening in the moment sometimes (depending on the severity and the specific trigger if there is one) it can stop that spiralling in its tracks. You'll probably still have the adrenaline dump and associated physical symptoms and its not going to work for everyone but it might be helpful to someone so I thought it was worth sharing, especially since seeing/hearing things can be really terrifying and was something I was afraid to admit was happening to me for a long time for fear of being seen as a crazy person
Thank you for sharing this. When my anxiety is bad, I think I see cockroaches that aren't actually there (I have a bad phobia) and I have always felt a bit crazy about it. That is a great way to word it, I never realized what that connection might be before now. I feel a bit less crazy, and a bit less alone as well. I hope life is kind to you 💜
Thanks Shaaba! I needed these positive vibes this week
I love the ‘something not getting what you want’ advice! Me and my husband had put an offer in on a house that didn’t end up working out and a few days later we found our dream home that is is bigger, nicer and cheaper then the first one we put an offer in on!
I love your advice, "it's not their fault but it is their problem." Definitely very good for me to remember right now :)
Posted 18 seconds ago is a new record for me haha
I've felt that exact same way about liking types of music. I've had that exact experience. It's validating hearing you talk about it, honestly. Your videos are always amazinf Shaaba.
I am so happy with finding your channel tonight at 2 am in the morning...
It's such inspiring place on the internet! You radiate such contagious positivity.
I must confess I am working now with my psychologist on some stuff and today was a hard day. specially thinking of my future college/upper studies.
So listening to your inspiring words made me ease my anxiety in some way.
It's so amazing the impact you can have on us. But well, you already researched about that ;)
Yay! Love your videos Shaaba! Can't wait to watch!
"Everything is survivable (except death)" - good for all your "oh no a catastrophe this is horrible I am going to die" moments that do not actually result in death, only undesired results. Confront the reality, not your imagined catastrophe. "It will get done, because it must get done" - best choice for any and all unsurmountable tasks that must be surmounted. Do not fall for peer pressure, it will not make you feel better (you will feel worse). Bonus life changing youtube video is Invocation for Beginnings by Ze Frank, but that might be a deep cut, YMMV.
Love this video sooo muuuch
Here to watch!
Some life changing advice I have for potential writers (this could apply to anything but as a writer myself, it's something I needed to hear when I started out):
'Every great writer has written rubbish books.'
Great writers weren’t born able to write good books instead they started out writing rubbish books and they developed their writing skills through practice. Every rubbish book u write is an opportunity to practice and don’t worry if ur writing rubbish books now as ur practising and learning from ur rubbish books.
Luv ur videos shaaba
“Live life for you” 🙏
Im a 27 yr old female and have olive skin on mum's side of my family and spanish blood on the bio dad's side and i have quite dark and rhick hair and a lot of it.
I was bullied a lot as a kid for this even unintentionally by my own family and its left me with a lot of trauma. Like you, i have intense plucking fixations which actually causes a fair bit of damage. And when i was younger, id dream of laser hair removal and would even fantasise (trigger warning for burns victims, i am so sorry) but even as a child and a teen, i would fantasise about setting myself on fire because it would burn of the hair and "then i wont be gross and ugly" which is of course SUPER DUPER FUCKED UP. Im super aware and feel awful for having this mentality when i was younger when there are people who have struggled with life being a burns victim.
Society is super fucked up and its a process to unlearn these things and come to accept yourself. Im getting there but its still hard. I hope anyone else in similar situations knows you are beautiful and loved just the way you are xx obviously do what makes you happy, but do it for you
‘We be for us’
Shaaba 2021
My favourite quote
The reaction v response thing reminded me of the therapist on the new season of YOU
The only profound advice I really have is that if someone (romantically) stops loving you, you shouldn’t blame them or yourself, the heart wants what it wants but is fickle and sometimes someone will stop loving you for no reason at all and it just happens.
OMG Black Veil Brides! They were my obsession when I was a teenager hahaha. Had the biggest crush on Andy
This is amazing been in a bad mental state of mind i appreciate you❤🙏
oh this is such a good lesson. it may not be their fault but it's still their problem. took me til my late 30s to fully sink in. :)
I love you Shaaba!!!! you are legit like my cool big sister
tw// eating disorder
so i have recently started recovery for an ed, and its been just,, so relieving?? to admit that i have a problem?? like i don't know, but it just kept feeling like 'oh i am not sick enough for this to be a problem' or 'but i can stop this whenever i want so i dont need help' and i just,, its really weird
Everyone likes Golddigger, it's catchy as hell.
Like, no advice will help if you don't know how to apply it... you need to figure out yourself first, but that's hard... personally I just don't get myself...
love this so much!!
I needed these advise today. I might move very soon.
You are never going to see this but I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU LIKED/LIKE BVB!! I ONLY KNOW A FEW THAT DID!! OMG BRB FANGIRLING RN 9:35
Any advice for me? I feel doom, i never have any dream or picture my own future. It is shocking i even made it till this year. I also am unemployed and currently the burden of the family. I feel like there os no more future for me if there was ever. I try to seek for mental health but nothing help and I can’t pay for the private one. 🗿 i maybe doom and have no other choices.
One thing to look forward to soon. It can be small, but something that sounds nice in the next few days. Slowly building on that and intentionally planning those regular enjoyable things was a key factor in clawing my way out of the two worst points in my life.
It's obviously not a cure all, but I hope it helps.
Sending you hugs, friend. A life-long lesson (I am still learning myself) is to accept that we all have inherent worth and value in this world. We do not need to earn love or our right to live. We just live and love... "Let me think about the people who I care about the most, and how when they fail or disappoint me…I still love them, I still give them chances, and I still see the best in them. Let me extend that generosity to myself." (Ze Frank, An Invocation for Beginnings). Try to believe your friends and family love and care for you the way you do for them. You are worthy of care and love. Your future will come as sure as the sun will rise tomorrow, it is okay if you aren't sure what the sunrise will look like just yet. Take it a day at a time, give yourself grace, and walk towards your own sunrise. It will become clear in time.
Thanks for the video Shaaba! I'm again not getting notifications for you, but at least I am still subscribed.
Are you and Jaime going to react to the Dave Chappelle special like you did with Dave's hero, JK Rowling?
Sukses selalu kawan