HEARTBREAKING RESULTS…Infertility Just Hurts
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- Опубликовано: 13 сен 2024
- Infertility is such a painful road I wish no one ever had to face.
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Hi! We are Phil and Alex! After leaving California in an RV, traveling full time, and helping our littlest with an open heart surgery, we've settled down in Tennessee. We found our homestead land and are learning each day how to live a more sustainable life. We are a family grown through the miracle of Adoption & Infertility Treatments. Our precious daughters are Kinsley Grace (7 years old), Callie Jo (5 years old), and Cassidy Drew (2). Our passion is to encourage families through infertility, adoption and building stronger healthier families. Thank you for tuning in! We hope you are encouraged!
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/ alexcongelliere
/ philconge
philandalex
EMAIL US: PhilAndAlexC@gmail.com
PO Box: 810 Oak Meadow Drive 681808 Franklin, TN 37068
Music by Epidemic Sounds
I’m 65 years old and was never pregnant, but God blessed us with a beautiful baby boy through adoption.
We had low mobility and I didn’t ovulate. We did everything we could for five extremely hard years.
My heart aches for you and everyone going through infertility. Even now, I struggle with feeling like I’m not a real woman.
But God made me and He doesn’t make mistakes.
Hello Cindy, I'm 46 and it makes me so afraid that my time is up, and what makes my situation worse is that my husband is not supportive at all.
This is my story except we adopted a boy and a girl. We gave our heart and soul to our kids and our daughter decided she wanted her birth family and has cut us out of her life. I thought infertility was the worst pain, but now I know, that losing a child is even worse. Praying for light and love for all.
Were you ever able to stop grieving over not being pregnant?
Oh, sweet mama, I am so sorry! Prayers, love and hope for you always. 🙏💛🕯
@@marciawright2600 🌺💐🌼
praying for you so much today Phil & Alex. you hold such a special place in my heart. ❤
I was gonna mention you. Like: look at Rachelle and Justin. They had less than 1% chance and it still happened. It can happen to you too.
Guess they already know your story.
I had my first child at 18. I was devastated. On my way to college and there i was and I persevered. Then when he was 6 and I was 24 I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer on a fluke during a miscarriage when I didn't know I was pregnant. I signed my life away before surgery to remove a cyst(before knowing it was cancer) and woke up with half of my reproductive organs. When we were ready, pregnancy wasn't happening and I just knew it was because of my cancer. Years of fertility treatments, needles, meds, stalking my husband, lol all of it. After our first son was 18 and graduating high school, we found out we were pregnant. Now at 36 with a college bound son we were starting over. Years of trying and it happened. NO FERTILITY treatment at all. Then I turned 40 and found out I was pregnant again. Our first baby girl and she was stillborn at 7 months due to my blood pressure. At 42 her baby brother was born. All 3 of my other babies came after my cancer diagnosis, only with PART of 1 ovary and 1 tube, and while I was "old". Allll without treatments. Nobody can explain it. I am your hope. But you allow yourself to hurt. Me having my 3rd baby boy will NEVER take away the hurt of losing my daughter. I miss her every single day 5 years later. Yes we are blessed to have our families and we've experienced pregnancy and we are where TONS of women wish they could be, but your hurt still hurts. I just want to be your hope. Im 45 now and my husband still want another but pregnancy will never be the same anymore for me because of my stillbirth. But I also decided I don't decide this, God does. Until I go through menopause, we are open to another child. And im old as dirt now!🤣 But I want to be your hope. The biggest of hugs to you. Have your grief day, hell have a grief week! But let me be your hope.
Praise God!
What a kind story to share. Thank you for that! And blessings on your family!
This is a beautiful story. I’m so thankful for God’s provision in your life and the blessings you’ve received. I’m so sorry for the loss of your daughter. My mother didn’t suffer from infertility, but she gave birth to my oldest brother when she was 24, then almost 17 years later, she had me at age 41 and then another 6 years later she had my youngest brother at almost 48 years old. We both were born to her when she wasn’t trying or expecting a pregnancy. She calls her “change-of-life” children!
I’m so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful Angel 👼🏻. You are a beautiful walking miracle. God knew you needed those precious baby boys as well.
I had my 5th living child when my oldest daughter was 18 and a senior in high school. We started all over as well. We lost one Angel 👼🏻 between our two oldest. That’s a pain I don’t ever want anyone to experience!! It’s literally heartbreaking!!
You are in my thoughts and prayers ❤️🙏🏻✝️
I'm very sorry. I'm glad you have your other pregnancy's. I just had another baby at 44... out of no where. All boys never a daughter. I love my sons to death but I always thought I would have a daughter.
It breaks my heart to see Alex like this. Phil you have a heart of gold and you stay so strong for Alex. Praying for your journey 🙏🏼🙏🏼
Quoting one of my favorite RUclipsrs, Mama Doctor Jones - “You did the best you could with the information you had at the time.” Love and positive thoughts to you and your family! Love watching your girls and animals grow up!
Love Mama Doctor Jones!! 🥰
My cousin had her last baby at 44:) praying for another baby for you guys soon
Mama doctor jones is the best. And Natalie Crawford md she is a fertility specialist. Alex and Philip you should make a video with Natalie!
@@tinydancer7343 yes!!!
Concentrate on the blessings you HAVE. Not the story you don’t have. That’s helped me the most. Attitude of gratitude. All day. Every day. Cry yes. Be pissed, yes. God can take that. But bring yourself back to being grateful. You can’t control your story. None of us can. We can only be grateful for the good we are afforded in life. Your girls are beautiful and smart and perfectly complete. Concentrate on them. They deserve that. You deserve that. Philip deserves that. Infertility is a part of your story but it’s not your identity. Remember that.
Beautifully said 💛
“Maybe that could be our story” - that felt so true to me and just perfectly summed up my feelings these past few years trying to have a baby. Thank you for sharing this part of your journey.
I really needed this! I am struggling with infertility and Alex is absolutely right, sooo many pregnancy announcements right now. Your channel has really comforted me that I am not alone in this and it’s okay to grieve.
As this starts, just know your Family is on the top of my Prayer list each day, as I'm sure the same as many other Supporters here as well...You are loved ♡
I agree!
Amen
They have been blessed with three beautiful children. Don’t for get to pray for the millions of people with empty arms or stillbirths and miscarriages.
@@Tomas-major Agreed 👍...I know the feeling, all too well, and believe me, those hearts are on my list as well ♡
I’m sooo sorry you and Phil are going through this incredibly difficult struggle but you are DEFINITELY helping people with your story . You’ve helped me so much!!! Phil your words are also soo encouraging.
I’m a RN who works on a high risk pregnancy unit where I see moms who are on drugs and have babies that they don’t want and don’t realize what blessings they have . So many days I’ve left work heartbroken and feeling like I’m being tortured because I’m going through infertility (we’ve been struggling for 8 years) and would LOVE to be able to do IVF and experience pregnancy but because my insurance doesn’t cover it and the simple fact that we don’t have upwards of $30,000 I’m not able to experience pregnancy…..yet.
I trust God and his timing and I know my blessing is on the way .
I believe your blessing is also on the way 🙏 whether that be through IVF or naturally conceived , y’all are amazing parents and this is just a stepping stone to your destination !!!
Thanks again for sharing your heart and using this platform to help others 🥰
I'm so sorry that you and Phil have to go through these difficulties. Please know that your whole family is on my daily prayer list. God bless you abundantly and stand with you.
My heart breaks for you both. No one can ever say they understand because no one else is in your shoes. I do have empathy, however, as I had my own experiences. I'm 74 and was never able to have children. Even with fertility drugs available at the time, it just never happened. The hardest part was the things people said that were very hurtful to me. It still makes me sad. I'm crying for you and hope for only good things for you and your family. Hugs and prayers to you all.
So sorry to hear that! Sending you love!
Joanie 💖🌹
yes you can there is hope it can happen, my husbands test was worse then that for swimmers going forward {20,000total} and his motility was a 0 I also have very very low AMH
and I'm 14 weeks pregnant
Congratulations on your miracle :)
Congratulations!
Alex all of your feelings are valid! Just because you have your girls and you’ve been pregnant once doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to be sad at the thought of not experiencing it again or growing your family the way you thought you would. You are very brave and my thoughts are with u xx
I love how raw you are Alex!! My husband and I are still in the empty arms phase, we’ve been married 8 years and life feels so unfair most days. I don’t think I will ever understand the reason for this but I try my hardest to trust God’s plan and promise for us. We may not understand God’s hand in all things but we can surely trust His heart. Prayers and blessings to you and your beautiful family! ❤️
Thinking of you Alex. My husband and I were unsuccessful in our infertility journey. I want to share what my auntie shared with me when I was down and out during my struggles , she said , rest assured that one day you will be able to look back and be ok with what god has given you. It took me 11 years of infertility to be at the point where I was able to accept my life journey. That for me included being able to recognize my blessings, moving forward and enjoying gods plans. You too Alex one day will be at a point where you will feel happy and accept the path god gives you. Thinking of you all.
Brookemcc, you are amazing!
I know this deep guttural pain well.. Sometimes it’s so hard to not get stuck in the “why”. Because honestly there’s so much I don’t think I’ll ever understand until heaven.
When you were talking about how in infertility you have to press on and be proactive even in your pain. Wow..I’ve been feeling that lately but you articulated it so well. If one more person tells me to “just have patience and trust God” I might scream.
I know the heartache of infertility… I am a mother of a miracle , had him via treatments too..
As we tried for a sibling, we had two failed IVF treatments.. egg quality and sperm quality are factors.. in the midst of my pain, I had to take a step back and appreciate my son.
Truly thank God for allowing me to be his mother … I also had to reconnect with God and truly accept his will. I grieved my losses and ran with the pain and realized how blessed I am.
I know you may have wanted a baby “naturally” but at least you have the option of IVF . I will no longer be trying, as I can’t afford it. I’ve applied for grants and thought of using our savings , but we have a son and his future to think about.
You’re already one step ahead from many of us who can’t continue due to financial restrictions…. ❤
I’ve been following your infertility journey for years as I go through mine. 2 years ago I was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer and we rushed to save 2 embryos. Last month we finally were at a good point in my health to do my transfer. We found out it failed last Wednesday. It’s tough to be positive and have hope. It’s been hard and putting effort into doing something is difficult. My already broken heart is breaking for you. ❤️
Stage 4?
@@gaildubas8651 yes I have stage 4 colon cancer.
I am feeling everything you are expressing you feel right now after 3 miscarriages this year. I’ve had 8 total in the last 9 years.
Sobbing on the bathroom floor, Hobbies do nothing for me right now, a sliver of happiness maybe, some days all of the emotions, some days completely numb, some days functional and putting the smile on my face, some days smiles arise and stay longer and the eternal hope & joy runs deep.
Sending all of the hugs and prayers. 💕
Grieving with you guys and keeping you in our prayers! Love y’all so much 😘💞
I love that you are sharing your entire story with people who need to hear it. It helps them and it helps you, too. Keep faith and know that God will bless you with another little one in His own way and time. It may not be how you planned it, but it will be just as special when it happens. There is always hope.
I just want to say that my heart hurts for you and Philip. You both have helped so many of us through the hard times and we want to be here for you. We love you, we hurt for you and will continue to pray for you. ❤️
Seven years, 3 IUIs, surgery and tests, 5 euploid embryo transfers, 1 spontaneous pregnancy, and 2 miscarriages layer we still have empty arms. When you said “The wait, the wait, the wait” I heard myself in your voice. I’m so tired of waiting and watching so many have their babies and grow their families, some with ease and some with intervention. And now we wait as adoptive parents. And wonder how long that wait will be. Please keep praying for us with empty arms. I’m praying for you too ❤️
I found your channel about 5 years ago when we started our first round of IVF and I have followed your journey since.
After 7 years of trying, three full rounds of IVF that never progressed any further past egg collection, a natural pregnancy that ended in miscarriage last March and another miracle pregnancy early this year, I am 36wks pregnant and due to meet our miracle baby in a few weeks. I never thought it would happen, I never thought I'd be a mum... if I only get to be a mum to one baby I will be incredibly greatful, even though I want a whole hoard!
I hope that your dreams come true for another miracle baby, I hate that so many people struggle with infertility. Keep breathing and keep being hopeful xx
Congratulations 🎉 Love your story.
I've been watching your lovely channel for over 3 years and I have to say you both are the strongest godly ppl I know. You guys are going to forever be in my prayers. My husband and I have been trying to have our first baby for over 10 years and I must say it has been a struggle and still is. Watching your channel gives me hope🙏🏾
I have been watching your channel off and on since you adopted Kinsley. I am sorry for the hand you have been dealt. You have 3 beautiful girls. You have experienced pregnancy and childbirth. Instead of obsessing over what you do not have, why don't you turn your energy to being thankful for what you do have? My daughter was told by 3 different doctors that she would never be able to have children. God blessed her and she gave birth to a beautiful baby boy 2 years ago. We all thank God for him. We are content.
They are very thankful for the children they do have... doesn't mean they aren't allowed to feel what they feel....
Keeping hope alive is so hard when the struggles are so big. I am still in the empty arms stage. It helps to see you with your kids and seeing you with your struggles. Thank you for sharing it with all of us.
I waited 22 years for our second and last child. Doctors said no, God said yes. I'm so sorry this journey has been so hard. Phil you've been so strong through this too. Praying you're doing okay too. This video reminded me of those days I cried when I didn't think it was fair and just emotionally overwhelmed. We prayed, our church prayed for several years. It wasn't until I was 40 and I said Ok God I'm getting older.. if you think I can handle another child let it be so. If not, then I'll be okay too. A month after that, I found out we conceived naturally. Had a healthy pregnancy. My oldest son is 27, My youngest son started kindergarten this week. 1 Thess. 5:16-18 ❤🙏
Congrats on your second! What a miracle baby 💕💕💕👏🏻
I love your story with a happy ending! My DIL and son just had their first baby a few weeks ago, after 9 years of marriage and suddenly realizing they almost forgot to have kids, lol, in their early forties. You just never know what surprises life may bring, nor the timing.
Thank you for your story it gives me hope
@@mykeshiawaugh6471 how long have you been TTC?
@@sarah29880 5 yrs
57 and never got blessed with a child...so my perspective be thankful for whst you have..anyhing else..is a blessing
I had my pregnancy and daughter the same time as you with Cassidy. And now I feel the same way now. I’m dragging my feet to call the fertility clinic after another year of no success. To work up the courage and through the hopelessness is so hard. ❤️
My heart hurts for Phillip... he can't produce and has to watch Alex cry over it. I hope he doesn't get depressed caring that on his shoulders. Think of his pain that's talked about often. Adopt a embryo I'm sure there's people that donate those.
I agree. Phillip must be feeling terrible seeing the pain Alex is going thru.
I can say through the miracle of prayer I have 2 children with my husband after he was told he would never be a father, he was married before he married me and she never had children with my husband, it took us 2 years of trying and trying and today together we have an 18 yr old son and almost 17 yr old daughter! In his time! It's all in his time! Prayers! 🙏 🤲
I found your channel when I was 21/22. I couldn't dream of going through infertility but watching both of your strength through it was inspiring
Now I'm 26. I was diagnosed with infertility last year. I have spent so many tears over this. I hated my body for failing me. I was so, so jealous of my friends and family who had no trouble getting pregnant. I just want to be a mom.
It's taken a lot of therapy to get to a place of mostly peace. Something will happen someday and I'm so excited for that day to be here
I'm sending you some of my peace Alex. Feel better soon
Praying for you 🙏
Boy is ur husband such a good listener!!! He is a GIFT
This hits home. After having one child, I spent 10 yrs with failed cycles, IVF, Donor, and even failed adoption and multiple miscarriages. I often wonder if I tried too hard, when the universe consistently worked against my family. In the end, we got off the treadmill and live life as a family of 3. It is still hard, all these years later. I like to think that my experiences weren’t wasted. I pray for you and your family that your advocacy with others is your grief transformed. ❤
Me too. 47 now and still hoping. When does the yearning go away!!! 🥹
I just got off the treadmill myself. I feel painfully free.
My heart is hurting so much for your beautiful family. I admire you for allowing you to feel your feelings and also looking for positives and being hopeful. Sending you all love.
I hope Phillip is handling all this ok, hopefully he’s not feeling like it’s his fault. I wouldn’t want him to get depressed
Alex, I feel you and I heart you. This journey is of Hope and Faith. The failures hurt real real deep. We went through 12 cycles of IVF. I am praying for you. Please know you are NOT ALONE. Hugs your way 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
Everyone's experience is different, you have the right to feel disappointed and grieve. Your journey and your pain is your own. Sending love and healing your way xo
Alex and Phil, you have 3 beautiful girls, you have a beautiful life but oh my days the grief of infertility hits hard! 😢
My husband and I absolutely hate walking the infertility journey that we have been on for 4 years now, we still have empty arms but watching you gives us hope for our future family.
God is fighting for you, you need only be still. That doesn’t mean to be stagnant but to take time and just rest in Him as you move forward in your journey.
Praying for you all 💛
I am praying for y'all! Question: Because y'all are open to adoption and Alex wants to be pregnant, would you be open to adopting embryos? I know using a different sperm donor may not sit well, but possibly adopting some embryos could be an option.
I have a friend that just gave birth to her snowflake baby (as they call it when you adopt an embryo). They now have a beautiful baby boy after years of infertility
I thought of this myself ..wouldn’t be an unreasonable idea? She’s open to adoption yet also desires to be pregnant again…it could be something to think about ? Great minds think alike! ❤️
I had thought sperm donation or embryo ?
@@Reddington073 sperm donation would be nice
I’ve never heard about this!! Amazing! Interested to see if they would be open to it. Like an adoption with benefits? 😉🤷🏻♀️💜
Thank you that even amongst your most painful moments you decided to share. So that people understand they are not alone or that we can all feel we all go through pain but we are here as a community to lift eachother through the despairing moments. We love you guys and I know we all will be praying for you. 💜
don't blame yourself nor anyone , do accept he knows what you have done and he would do ..... so much stress and keeping down emotions might be factor, there is time for everything....stay safe ....
In the middle of my second chemical pregnancy this year. Trying for baby #3. My heart is with you. I understand that some days and seasons are tougher than others.
Praying for you! 🙏
I am praying for you. I don't know your exact hurt, but I know the feeling of loosing hope when it comes to growing your family. it steals your breath and breaks your heart in new ways unexpectedly, sometimes daily. Yesterday, I had to remind myself that God is on my side, and today I am overwhelmed by His loving presence. Everyday is different, but keep seeking joy, Momma. If you keep looking, you can always find it.
Some people never have any Cassidy is a miracle you are so blessed
Exactly
Agree... and I say that with Love. Let go and Let God. Lots and lots of love and prayers to your family. xxxx
I agree. So blessed to be able to adopt also. Not everyone can afford that or treatments. They never get the chance to be parents.
I find it disturbing that she can’t appreciate the family she has when so many can’t even afford fertility treatment or adoption. She’s had both. No one gets all they want in life. Appreciate what you have
That doesn't make her sadness any less valid. Even though your comment was meant to be positive, when you are walking through it, it's freaking hard, both she and Philip have said how grateful they are for their 3 girls.
You can't heal if you don't grieve. There will always be heartbreak, but you are right, your faith will always get you through. It is said that God never gives us more than we can handle. I know that it doesn't always seem that way, but your faith, loyalty & strength will get you through. May God continue to bless you all.
So many comments here saying “I’m sorry you are hurting but be grateful.” Stop telling someone else how to feel. Clearly, they are grateful. They love their beautiful family. That doesn’t take away the pain of the helplessness of infertility, of this moment of hope being built up then crushed, of the immense effort and road of heartbreaks it has taken to build their family.
They are so compassionate and empathetic to every person experiencing this pain, no matter where those people are at in their journey.
We can do the same for them.
We’re holding space for your grief in this time, Alex and Phil. So many are praying for a miracle for you, and even if it never happens, we are praying for the grace of God in your pain.
Thank you for continuing to share your journey even with all the negative comments thrown at you.
Love you guys. Infertility is so hard and I credit both of you for helping me get through my IVF journey. I'll pray for you. ❤
My heart feels for you Alex😢. I see my precious daughter having these feelings. She’s 38, she’s still “waiting” for a good, loving, kind, trustworthy husband. She’s wanted to be married and to be a mommy for so long, but neither have happened for her. She has seen ALL of her friends find their “person” and be able to be mommies and it’s painful for her. She keeps praying and we keep praying for these life experiences for her. It hurts our hearts so very much seeing her pain. It hurts when she looks at me and says “Mom what’s wrong with me, why don’t I get my family?”. My momma heart hurts😢😢
I have a 34 whose greatest desire besides Jesus is to be a wife and mommy! She wants a husband who loves God and follows Him! She hasn’t found him! It is hard waiting!
@@Cathy-re2eo Yes, that’s my daughter!
She may want look into adoption or single motherhood by choice. I too waited for a long time as I wanted to naturally have a soul mate, but that other person didn’t show up and the clock keeps ticking. I’m a mother now solo and very happy. 🙂
I decided to make my own family. I got tired of waiting. Tell her to go get what she wants
@Lisa and @Cathy I understand where they are coming from. I’m in my 30’s as well and still waiting. It’s like you’re grieving a loss of the life you thought you would have by now. Praying for both of your daughters while they are in the waiting season.
You have 3 wonderful, beautiful girls. Find your joy, peace, and hope in their smiles.
I am sure this is very difficult for your family. Wanting something you can't have us so hard. Maybe it's time to focus on what you do have. So many people l e with infertility don't have children. You have three gorgeous girls, a strong marriage, a supportive extended family, a lovely little farm, you are so blessed. Enjoy the blessings in front of you, as a parent to only one child due to endometriosis your time with the children you already have. Before you know it they will be grown. No more tea parties, home schooling, sloppy kisses, or drawings on the fridge. You don't want to miss what is right in front of you.
I’m sure she knows that.
So well said!
Does she look like she is missing it?? FFS...
Oh, Alex. I am so sorry friend. Please don’t lose hope. God is in this. In the midst of it all. Wish I could give you a hug.
You have 3 beautiful children, enjoy them. Enjoy the life you have made.Don’t get stuck in this. Life is good.
I feel so bad for you having to get such a hard infertility journey... We got the easy one. 4 rounds of ivf, I have 3 kids now. And 3 frozen embryos. We are so blessed. I wish this blessing on you. Seeing you hurting makes me want to cry!
I found you guys a few years back when searching about adoption. I always had a feeling I would have a hard time conceiving and turns out, I was right. I also knew I was meant to adopt. Your vidoes prepared me for our adoption journey.) It took a year and half until we were chosen by a beautiful teenage birth Mom, named HOPE ( how beautiful is that?). Our little girl is a month younger than your Cassidy. Thank you for sharing your story. Big hugs from another infertile suffering Momma❤️
Hi
I have been watching you almost from the very beginning of your journey, not yet knowing that your story will be a reflection of my life in reality.
We are young marriage, but trying get pregnant almost 4 years now. My husband is on a wheelchair, has a problem with the mobility of sperm. I have insulin resistance and PCOS. I was hyperstimulating while preparing for IVF. We had 10 first-class embryos. We are after the second transfer and about a three-week miscarriage in the 7th week of pregnancy. Waiting for the results, for the transfer, for the beta hcg, waiting for the next test, now waiting for the opportunity to approach the next transfer .. This is the greatest hope I can have to become a mother. On the other hand, we sometimes go through the worst possible moments in our lives related to infertility. However, I believe that God will reward us all for moments of doubt with beautiful children. God with you, it will be beautiful.
I'm so sorry Alex that you're going through this. It's really though! We also did IVF and dealt with both sides of fertility issues (same as you on the male side, it's a varicose vein). We had the opportunity to see one of the best urologist in US and just want to bring forward some positivity if you ever will try the IVF path again:
- even though the surgeryhas not fully addressed all the issues, a big "unseen factor" is the chromosome part of the sperm. With the varicose vein, there is a high change that a high percentage of the sperm is impacted and it's DNA is not normal. This can really affect the fertilisation and normal embryos rate in IVF. The surgery, does help with fixing this. You can get a DNA Fragmentation Test on the sperm to look at this number.
- a big thing that is about 300$ and was recommended by our urologist and thing that it really made a difference in our IVF rates (beyond any expecations at all the steps up to normal embryos) is using the Zymot chip. This helps filtering the sperm to be used to fertilize the egg. Basically the sperm picked up has the best changes of being healthy and have normal DNA. There's many folks in the `infertily` reddit that used this and they've seen major improvements in their rates from one IVF cycle to another.
It's hard to be in the place... this whole journey is one of the hardest roller costers in life...
I'm more than happy to give you more info or answer any question or connect you with more people that used the Zymot chip, feel free to DM me if I can help you in any way
Thank you for acknowledging those still in the empty arms phase! Thinking of you Alex, infertility is truly heartbreaking 💔
Oh no Alex; I’m afraid to see this vlog!! I will be keeping you in prayer! 🙏🏽 Alex, I understand; my 1st pregnancy I carried to 5 months; they were twin girls. I lost them both, then I wanted a baby so bad & it took 2 years & I was blessed with a girl. I thought that was it but 18 years later at the age of 40 I was blessed with another little girl. I understand that is hard to stay positive!! I am sorry you guys are going through this. 💕💕
I'm so sorry you guys are going through this. My Husband also had this surgery and they told us 70% of couples get pregnant in the first year after that surgery. After three years of actively trying; no improvement. We were completely crushed. I understand having hope doing it naturally and not Ivf because IVF is not for the faint heart. Sending you love, hugs, prayers.
I’m so sorry Alex. I remember being there and even though your story is different, the pain is still there and relevant. I remember doing the “time math” b/c I wanted 3 or 4 kids and every month that I wasn’t pregnant I had to redo the math. I had my twins at 36 (IVF) and my last at 38. I want to say don’t let your age get to you, but that’s not the real world. I wish I could hug you b/c the pain is so powerful. I am praying for clarity, peace and discernment.
Alex, thank you so much for sharing so much of your journey. I have been a longtime viewer but have never commented. Watching your family has been so encouraging and helpful as I’ve walked through my own infertility and adoption journey. Thank you for putting your story out there. I am so incredibly thankful for you and your family. Praying for you!!
Hey Alex, you have been a true inspiration. I wanted to let you know your LH test videos have helped me find out I double surge, and have directly impacted me trying to get pregnant without you I wouldn’t have known. I’m not pregnant yet but your helping me get there. 💜
I feel all of this so much! We are in the same boat. Fertility treatments did a number on my body and they are so exhausting, so we are praying for a miracle. I will definitely be praying for your miracle too. Thank you for sharing, I really needed this video this month❤️
Alex, I just wanted to reach through and give you a big hug. You are strong and Philip is amazing! I sat and cried right along with you. Your words and actions are so encouraging. Wonderfully said Philip. I wasn't surprised to hear that Kinsley was concerned about your Alex, she is a very loving and empathic soul. Alex one observation I made while you were speaking was the passion you have in your eyes and your soul when you speak about medical terminology and situations. Aside from the garden, your babies etc I still feel in my heart of hearts that you will be able to grow your family and there is "time". You are only 35 and you both are such amazing parents. Maybe you should go back to your old IVF doctor....you both have amazing parents that I'm sure they would jump in and watch those girls while you travel back. Philip your words helped me intensely. I was blessed with 3 amazing daughters naturally and am very proud of them, but other than IVF, I am going through it and appreciate you. xo Stay strong Alex, you have a great man there and wonderful families. You Will Have More Children! I know it. God works in mysterious ways. Love you xo
This breaks my heart. The content you share is such a great tool to help others out there. Although you go through so much you show others that even through the down times there is still hope. Thank you for all you and your family do to help others out. Have you ever thought about embryo adoption?
Sweet Alex I just want to reach through the screen and give you a hug 💜 Your pain in this video is one I know well. My husband's semen analysis' have yielded much the same type of results as Phillip's. I also have PCOS so that made getting pregnant just next to impossible. My story was one where we couldn't do IVF and so we have our children through adoption. Since I'm turning 40 in four days I have made peace with the fact that I'll never have that joy. It doesn't make the hurt any less though. I love you guys and your sweet family-I truly do understand love. Give yourself grace and walk YOUR journey. Whatever that journey looks like honey is yours and Phillip's and how you navigate it is your way and you don't owe anyone an explanation. You all are in my prayers. I know I'm a stranger on the internet but reach out if you need anything. Much love to you, Phillip and the girls 💜
I just want you to know that there is a prayer chain standing behind you and your beautiful family. Keep trusting our lords plan and the prayers will keep being sent upwards
Thank you for being so open and vulnerable with us. I will include you both in my prayers tonight. 🙏🏻 The Lord is great. Always hope. Always Love, you are a inspiration to your community and friends I’m sure. Love to you and yours. ❤️
Prayers for y’all! Your day(s) will come! I cannot say I know how you feel, however, I have watched your struggle for years and can completely understand your heavy hearts. You guys have big hearts and have enough heart to share with as many as the Lord will grant you. You are amazing and remember God has a plan.
Please look into Embryo Adoption through the National Embryo Donation Center. There you can adopt multiple embryos and transfer up until your 46th birthday. We suffered from 13 1/2 years of infertility and our prayers were finally answered through EA. Feel free to message me with any questions you may have!
They are located in Knoxville, TN
I agree seems like it would be an amazing fit for them ❤️ praying
Oh Alex my heart breaks for you and your struggles. You’re such an amazing momma. Allow yourself to process. Allow yourself to grieve. It’s healthy. Don’t let yourself lose your faith. Miracles happen everyday and I pray your miracle comes soon
You are so strong, I’m so sorry you’re going through this xx
Alex when you say at 6:20 that it could be your story and that bird spoke; please know that it’s a sign . You will have your miracle story. Sending you love ! We love you so much.
Could you adopt a "snowflake" baby so that you could carry your next baby? My friend (age 40) and her husband adopted 3 embryos, 2 survived being defrosted & 1 implanted. Her son is now in 4th grade. Thank you Phillip for the reminder of our Eternal hope at the end of this vlog.
I’m sure they’ve considered every option obviously
@@jackielowrey3032 she didn’t ask if they considered it, she asked if they could or if they want to
Sending you tons of love and hugs as well as my prayers.🫂
I can feel your schedule pain and I am crying for you. We so wanted to grow our family. I brought 2 kids into the world and I was 24 wks when I went into labor with my 1st and 19 wks with my 2nd, who was a twin that I lost at 15 weeks..
Both were 7 wks early... After weeks in the hospital and weeks of bed rest. We tried and tried and tried to have a 3rd baby, and I did get pregnant and miscarried 3 times over the next year and a half.
I love Phillip's positivity and I adore you Alex. I pray for your family all the time. Your family is so precious to my heart.
God bless you all.
Did you guys color coordinate today?
My heart aches when I see your tears and hear how broken you feel. Praying for you. The love you two have for each other is so evident as we see Philip come to be beside you. The girls fighting gave me a giggle, so real. Having life around me has helped me keep going through some heartaches. I'm so glad you have such a beautiful life to get up to every day even though the struggle is very real. ❤️
Miracles are all around us. I am childless, but am blessed with my beautiful friends. It’s okay to feel the way we feel, but our feet face forward so we have to move that way. Take care 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
I feel this in a different way. I don’t struggle with infertility, but with financial struggles and now age as a barrier, having a second kid just doesn’t seem like it’s possible. I feel devastated and so guilty sometimes that I can’t give my son a brother or sister. I honestly feel like a failure as a mom. Why is this my story? I don’t know. But thank you for sharing your story. It helps to see we’re not alone and that even though the struggle is different, the pain is very similar.
I'm so sorry... Things will get better 🙏
Oh my stars (as Alex would say), you told my story too. My special needs daughter is 15 and lonely. When we decided to “try again”, I was 38. Never happened. Thank you for sharing and please know you are not alone. I’m crying writing this because your honesty and your beautiful vulnerability rings so true for me. Hang in there, Warrior Mama. 🥹
Praying for you 🙏
@@tinydancer7343 Thank you! Praying for you as well 💜
Thank you for being raw and real with your life especially after the negativity of what you have encountered. You are inspirational in hope in love in life and in Faith. I love your family and you are all in my prayers. I just wish I could hug you both. Sending only love, respect, and prayers your way to bring you peace joy laughter and love.
Why continue with something that makes you depressed and prevents you from enjoying what you have?
Aren't you afraid your girls will wonder why they weren't enough to please mom?
Believe me, I know how it feels and would be overjoyed if I managed to have three wonderful children!
Wishing you and your family all the best! Don't forget that life goes on while you are looking for something else or more..
I’m so glad I found your videos almost 5 years ago when I was about to go through IVF! I love how you share your emotions. I cry with you because I’ve gone through infertility and still do. I had one natural pregnancy in 2013 that ended in an early miscarriage. Then tried IVF the beginning of 2018 that also ended in an early miscarriage. I was devastated both times. I’m in my 40s now and we adopted 3 kids from foster care over 3 years ago. Even though we have these kids, it still hurts that I couldn’t have my own. So I know where you’re coming from (that even though you already have kids, you want more and it’s really hard). Thank you for sharing!
Heartfelt! I loved your comment because it speaks of the desire to have your own and there is nothing wrong with that.
I’m in a similar situation, me and my hubby just took a 2 year break from treatments and i just passed my mock cycle to do a donor embryo adoption! Idk if y’all have thought about that but look into it. You’ve always helped me when I’m down and I know you can get through this stronger than before!
as a mother of 5 and now many grandchildren my heart breaks for you guys. Right now my family is going throuh so much heart ache in different ways. But still heart ache. I have been so focused on our problems I feel led to just hand over my problems to God and put YOUR family and future family top of my prayers list. I love you 2, I love those girls, and I love those babies we haven't met yet.
Hearing your children in the background playing and being happy is HOPE! Look what you have accomplished having three beautiful girls! Know that there is a reason for this journey! Maybe your life as far as planing for your children is not only for you guys to have children but more to give hope to others that have never had the chance to be parents! Enjoy your family and the wonderful life you have!
I know this comment is shared with good intent but there is a lot of guilt that parents feel when experiencing secondary infertility, you are so grateful for your kids but that doesn't take away the dream and wish of having more children and when people tell you to be happy with the family you have it feels very hard to hear. I share that in hopes that you can understand that telling someone to enjoy their family can be hurtful.
@@mcgowanmoments2940 I have thought about that as well! Still, if you are not careful you lose what’s in front of you! Being people of faith, I am sure they know that everything happens for a reason. There is a reason and a season for everything. All I am saying is be great full for what you have and concentrate on that and less on the things you can not change! Many women would give everything to carry a baby just once but never get that chance. I feel for them specially!
Alex, I know how hard this is to share. I haven’t shared my story. But, you have the right to desire those children your heart wants to love so much.
I too have two girls. I know I am extremely lucky to have them. One was born 24 weeks early in 2002 and my second I was in complete bed rest for my entire pregnancy. My body failed me and I no longer could be pregnant. My heart longed for at least one more child. That is an empty spot my heart will always mourn and wonder what if. I also lost multiple pregnancies that were so very difficult.
My heart and prayers are with you. I truly hope God will answer your prayers. I hope that you can hear those small little answers and see the miracles that He provides.
I support you in so many ways! As a woman, mom, wife, sister, daughter, nurse, and so much more!
I found your channel because I have endo and my husband only had an extreme low count of 200,000. The infertility doctor said to my face, it was impossible. We have our son after the "impossible." I love your honesty, it's hard to be on this journey, God gets us through. But some days it's just dang hard. Grieve, as crazy as it sounds, after 2 miracle babies, we want to keep growing our family. Some people say be grateful for your 2 🙄 it's not that simple. Thank you for sharing 🙏🏼
Alex, there are so many people who have no children at all. You did get to experience pregnancy and this is God's way of saying, "You have a full quiver Alex. Be blessed and live this life without sadness anymore. Live your great life. There are chapters that have a period at the end. I know it is sad but I have 2 sons. One is going to be 27 and my oldest passed away 14 yrs. ago at 28 yrs. old. I spent 12 yrs. in a lot of depression and I realized my son, if he could talk to me would say, mom, you need to get on with life. I am with the Lord and will see you again. So I do get sad but don't stay stuck in it. You cry and then.... get on with it. Live that wonderful life you have made there in Tenn. Bless your family.
I don’t know how to explain it but I feel like from a young age I knew that starting a family wasn’t going to be easy. I started watching your channel and following your family before I even met my husband. We are now 2 years into trying and I want to say that you gave me strength to take action when no one would listen. I think from watching your story I know that I will be a mom someday and it may look different and be a harder journey than those around me but I know it will be worth it all once we get there. Sending you love and light in this season.
I know the feeling all too well, you will be a more appreciative mom one day, you will love better, And i believe you will be a mom soon. I went thru all of of those feelings and it's not not nice, but its what you truly believe to be true.. Trust and believe,,,, you will be a mom soon, very soon,
@@bluemoonspring8125 Telling someone to simply "trust and believe" is not helpful, IMO. It suggests that If infertility is never resolved, it's because that person wasn't faithful enough.
i’m so sorry you guys, this was incredibly heartbreaking to watch. i’ll be praying for you ❤️
Stand still turn a circle and look around yourself, at least for your husband and children.
My heart breaks for Philip, he must feel like crap and yet he stays so strong and positive.
That was really insensitive. It’s really easy to type words out and leave a comment when you’re not standing in front of the person and using a fake name on RUclips. God made men different than women, and yes they do stay strong for their wife. Sometimes our husbands need us to be strong, it depends on the circumstance. As a women the feeling of wanting to carry a child and not being able to hits a little differently than it would for a man. I’m not trying to be rude to you, I just hope in the future you think before you post comments that are not helpful at all to the situation. You can’t help the way you’re feeling sometimes, you have to make it through and heal, and part of that process is recognizing how you feel. That does not mean she’s ungrateful.
@@TheRealisticMama you are well and truly taken in aren’t you, they adopted two beautiful daughters, then they were blessed by a successful IVF pregnancy, Phillip has just had surgery to try and help, despite being blessed with three beautiful children and a husband that any woman would love to have, the constant complaining and the constant me, me, me situation, is not a good role for mental health in in fertility to all those women and men with empty arms!
Over the years, you tell me when she has ever been truly shown any happiness for more than a few months at a time.
It’s not easy to type words about someone that you have followed for years and years, but you can see depression or something much more than a infertility journey.
@@Tomas-major to others the answer seems easy, just be happy and stop complaining. However when you’re living that situation it’s difficult to not be upset at certain times, especially when you always dreamed of having a large family, any human being would have to mourn that and heal. No one is perfect, the only one that makes life bearable is Jesus Christ, and you will still face trials to walk through. She said she was grateful for her kids and phillip was amazing, you have to let people express how they’re feeling to heal and move on. I’m not really wanting to argue with you and I don’t think there is anything wrong with constructive criticism but there is a time and place for it.
@@TheRealisticMama I think we will have to agree to disagree on this, they are making a fortune from their you tube channel, I am leaving because it is just such a negative place to be.
Perhaps I may even be wrong about her, I see severe depression in her and a sense that she says one thing and means another .
@@Tomas-major I agree on she says things she knows she should be feeling while feeling deeply sorrowful at the same time. I just want to encourage having Grace, mercy and empathy for someone who is hurting even when to you it doesn’t seem like a valid reason to be sorrowful as long as she has been. This is real life, nobody’s life is free from pain and sorrow. I understand you feel it’s negatively impacting you now and that would be a good time to stop watching, but for me I can appreciate the realness and the true reality of what they’re facing because that’s life. If they tried to seem perfect it wouldn’t be realistic or relatable. I do agree there is a time in everyone’s life where you have to accept the facts of what your facing, and ask God to help you heal and move on. If we spend too much time being upset and hurt we lose out on a lot of precious moments. I speak from experience on that.
But I’m grateful for the Grace and mercy of Jesus Christ because if you’re born again and put your faith in Him, He is so patient and loving. “While yet we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
I felt this so deeply. We are going through the exact same thing after our IVF loss. It’s absolutely heartbreaking.💔 Our levels are around 1.9 Million as well. Some days it’s hard to even exist.
Have you heard of "Snowflakes"? It's an adoption agency that you can adopt embryo's from.
It’s so hard to go through heartache and trauma. Sometimes you feel like you will never heal. I am still pretty new at totally living my life for God, but when I hear others talk about The Lord and all he’s done for us, I feel bad for Bering so negative. I learned today that, if you’re questioning wether or not to say or ask someone something, listen to that whisper from The Holy Spirit, and don’t say or ask whatever it was. You sometimes can’t backpedal out of that of which you’ve said or asked. Please be kind to people who are grieving. Maybe don’t say anything and just listen. God Bless you all. I hope and pray that you get what you are yearning for. I love your family. It’s amazing!
I keep hearing you talk about infertility. Hope this doesn't sound insensitive but you guys are sooooo productive. 3 kids and farm full of garden and animals. SO PRODUCTIVE. So fertile.
stop.... just stop....
@@Sabouma28 no you stop this is social media people are allowed to have opinions etc
@@Sabouma28 can’t handle it? Get off social media
Agree 100%
You're not crying alone, praying for you all ❤️
Phil you have said some very wise words! I hope we were listening! I have 4 children, none biological. Two are my husbands from a previous marriage and we adopted twice. I have no regrets. I don’t grieve for a pregnancy and never have. My husband had a vasectomy after his second bio child so when we married we couldn’t produce biologically. Yes we could have tried various medical procedures and we did look into them. My husband was willing to do whatever necessary. One day, I realized it was not important to me how we got another baby just that we did. So we looked into adoption. First time around it just seemed out of our league, domestic and/or international. Later we look at adoption again. It was as if God just said YES! This is the path to growing your family. There were MANY bumps in the road. Once we actually applied to adopt, from China, we had to wait almost a full 3 yrs!! But finally we had a beautiful little baby girl. Again one night God let me know He had another baby girl in China for us! My husband was shocked by the news so we prayed. God let us know, YES! I’m in this! Nine mos later we had Dasha- perfect gift of God, the meaning of her name and we did not know that! Lol We just liked the name! Alex your life and times are in God’s hands. As you sometimes must tell your children “no” or “not now”, God tells us the same some times. I have no regrets. My children are now almost all grown! Dasha is 18 and just started her first year in a school of ministry. Trust God. Trust and accept His leading, His voice. You know NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD! ALL 3 of your girls are proof of that. He has been good. Very very good! You may understand later why He has waited now. If another child does not come into your home and you’ve done all you know to do then trust Him. He does all things well. I was diagnosed with leukemia recently. I believe this is the reason no other doors opened for us to have more children. God does all things well. His timing is perfect I’ll be praying for y’all. I’m going to watch this video again. I need to hear those words, God words, of wisdom Phil. Thank you for allowing the Lord to use you in your pain and disappointment. God is good even in the storms and especially in the storms!🧡orange for leukemia
It makes me sad to see you suffer but instead just try to focus on the three beautiful girls that God blessed you with. You have a beautiful family.
Take heart, your feelings are valid! It is freaking hard! I love how you work toward healing and progression! A way will be provided for you to grow your family! ❤️