"girl harmonising with the fan" No its about grieving for a childhood never you never had. Its about the years of trauma you are slowly healing from. Its realising that this world can be cruel but also beautiful. Its the memories of sitting under a tree in the middle of nowhere listening to the wind and watching the wildlife. Its knowing that you are enough and you are a special person and loved by many.
“It’s just a girl harmonizing to her fan” So close! It’s actually the sound of crying yourself to sleep each night, having to tell yourself everything will get better because no one else is there to tell you. It’s the sound of keeping thoughts to yourself so people don’t think your mentally unstable. It’s the sound of wishing you were never brought to earth. ♡.
“Its just a girl harmonizing with her fan” so close! Its actually the sound of watching your best friend slowly fall apart as years and years of trauma finally catch up to him and knowing you couldn't do anything to stop it from happening.
It's the sound of holding your little brother close as he sobs softly in your arms the night your mother broke the news to both of you that dad and her are gonna separate forever.
Suddenly it’s summer again. I’m playing in the backyard with my siblings. The cicadas are tittering and The air is humid. Im out of breath from running around. I still have my pink crocs. Soon it will be time for sleep, which we will complain about, and I will fall asleep listening to the old box fan. Safe in my bed.
thanks for making this 30mins extended, this song gives me nostalgia and unexplainable feeelings,rn Im at my lowest and idk what to do or what step should I take. Life is pressuring me and my anxiety is stacking up thank you so much for making this.
This is the feeling I get when I realize that while my life is good that I will never be a child again and that I’ve lost that and that I’ll never be able to live life without being worried about the future
Dang past me had no clue what was going to happen lol. Now when I hear this I remember how it felt to see my grandfather in his open casket and how When we were at his grave saying our goodbyes, dispite the fact that it was supposed to be cold, all I felt was the warmth of the sun on my back.
you are enough-you are ALWAYS enough-you always WILL BE enough. don’t try to fit in with the people who don’t like you-find the right people-the ones who will love you for who YOU are! not for what they make you. i love you so much
“It’s just a girl harmonizing with her fan!” No, it’s the feeling of waking up from a dream of having the most beautiful baby in the world, only to see the baby of your dreams isn’t there, and was only part of your mind, knowing you’ll never be capable of creating such beauty.
Hey dude, I sincerely don't know what you're going throught and just wanted to send some positive thoughts your way, I'm sorry you have to go throught that and I sincerely hope things get better for you, just hang in there, and if nobody told you this already, your presence around is much appriciated
“It’s just a girl harmonizing with a fan.” So close! It’s actually me crying over how innocent I was as a child, and I should’ve never had to have gone through the trauma I went through. That the trauma I went through as a child now actually affects me in the present day, and has now made me who I am. That the 4 year old girl who said rainbow was her favorite color, and her favorite animal were puppies, now has gone through sexual abuse, depression, an eating disorder, self harm, and a smoking addiction. How the trauma made me afraid to even look at men in the eye, but crave male validation. How the trauma made me hate shouting or confrontation, but I get mad easily and snap at my loved ones. How I will never be the sweet innocent girl I was, because of the generational trauma I went through. How it made me realize I became the thing I hated most.
“it’s just a girl harmonizing with a fan” it sounds like being 8 and crying in your mothers arms because you’ve just understood death for the first time, repeatedly whispering “I don’t wanna die” as she strokes your hair and does her best to comfort you even though she is also terrified
My mom telling me my father left, hugging her and telling her everything is going to be okay. Her saying, "No, nothing will ever be okay again." I've never been happier to prove my mom wrong. We're okay.
Brings me back to the day I found out the remains of my friend were found eight months after he went missing. If I would have searched a half mile more- he might have been alive. Or, if he had already been dead, his family would have had closure sooner. I still blame myself, it's something I'll never be able to get over.
Don’t do that to yourself. Dont blame yourself. It wasn’t your fault. It only makes things worse for you, and, even though I don’t know you and don’t know me, I do NOT want that for you.❤
“It’s just a girl harmonizing with a fan” no… It’s the feeling of walking into class the day after your teacher collapsed in class and hearing they died later that same day/that night. Happened 3x. Twice in the 2012-2013 school year, and once in 2014-15 school year when I moved schools. I had only known the 2014-2015 teacher for about 3 weeks. Maybe a month. It was my favorite class too. Astronomy. His mom came and taught the rest of the year. Bless her soul for stepping up I distinctly remember the day too. I wasn’t there for the morning announcement that he died, so when I walked into his class to see another teacher I was like “oh he must be still in the hospital. Is he ok?” The look on everyone’s face was like “weren’t you here?” Then i just started sobbing because I easily figured out that he was gone by the look on their faces
Suddenly i'm eight again, the sun peaks through the porch windows as i sit in my grandma's lap, wearing my favorite floral night gown she made. the Texas heat is brutal this summer, but she makes it bearable as she hums and explains how to crochet to me, i look at her in awe, how is she so good at this? Every time i mess up she just smiles and corrects me, god.. how i miss her smile.
''it's just a girl harmonizing with her fan'' No, its the feeling you get the morning after the night your mom overdosed, and you got taken away, and thought you were waking up in your room but soon remembered you were actually at your grandparents house.
This sound will forever play in the back of my head whenever I reimagine my childhood. Takes me back to when things were simpler, when I smiled and it wasn’t fake. This song feels like summer after a long year of elementary. When I was running down hills, riding scooters until I scraped my knees, laughing with my cousins and siblings, swimming in the neighborhood pool and eating ice cream/sandwiches after. The funny thing is it doesn’t even feel like that long ago. Yet, it’s so far, and I can never get it back. Only in my memories. I wish I could go back in time to tell my younger self, “Enjoy this, wholeheartedly. For both of us.” I just want to go back. At least one more time.
"it's just a girl harmonizing with her fan" No, it's the song that plays in my head when I look at my scars and realize that they're not going to go away, and I'll be ugly forever.
Yes, Your scars are permanent. They will never go away. They are also memories from a hard past. But they are reminders you have grown. They are reminders you’re still here. They are reminders that you are stronger then you think. My dear, this world has been unkind to you. But that will not always be so. Your scars are beautiful. You are beautiful. You are loved. And I know this may not help but in my opinion, scars are cool. Take care and may you be at peace❤ If I have said anything unhelpful or offensive let me know and I will delete this comment asap.
"It's just a girl humming to her kitchen fan," So close! It's actually the sound realizing that most new animated films would probably never replicate the same joy and wonder that you had as a child.
I just want to cry again. That feeling of sadness i miss it. I miss feeling emotions. I used to cry when i got sad , used to smile happily and laugh when life was good. Now it feels like i can't even feel all that. I feel emotionally burnt out. Tonight after a long day i was watching tiktok and stumbled on this voice. It sounded like comfort , like the girl in your dreams carresing your hair in her laps. So i searched it up and got here. I went walking on the roof and as i was reading the comments , i started relating , my eyes started to water and it suddenly vanished. I tried forcing my tears but it was nothing. I don't know what this is. If i have some mental desease or smth but i know if i was actually capable of crying , i would cry my eyes out. But I'm emotionally blank now and the sadness is immence and all i can do is cry internally. Amen to that i guess
“it’s just a girl harmonizing with her fan.” no, it’s the sound of a girl who is scared out of her mind and having a panic attack trying to calm herself down and get into the right headspace before performing in front of hundreds of people. this is the sound of her praying to god, “help me, please.”
“Its a girl harmonizing with her fan..” No. This is a woman that had a dream of having a child, longing for the sound of little feet pitter pattering across the house, the sound of laughter at a silly remark in the car, the sound of music blasting from her child’s room. No however. It was all a fleeting thought, a dream.
“it’s just a girl harmonizing into her fan” close! it’s actually the sound of me sitting behind my locked door crying and realizing that he’s never going to change. hope this helped!
Its the sound of waking up in a car alone at night at 5 years old. In a dark parking lot with no one else around. Feeling scared and abandonded. Its watching your dad die as you sit alone outside a hospital room begging for someone to save him. Its the sound now of knowing that i have children who always want to be around me, and a partner who will always be by my side. I will never feel alone again.
“It’s just a girl harmonizing with her fan” No it’s a 14 year old watching her papa go through icu, telling him it’s her birthday while he’s unconscious but “getting better” and losing him soon after RIP Papa 🕊️❤️
“It’s a girl harmonising with her fan” It’s exactly how I feel after miscarrying, imaging and mourning the life me and my baby would have had together. If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever. I’m so sorry.
I’m in my 20’s and had to put down one of our family cats today. We found him as a kitten when I was 8. He turned 17 sometime this summer. A few years ago, I had to put down our childhood dog from the time I was 7. There’s still one childhood pet alive and well. He’s a cat who’s 16 and has more life to live. I listen to this tonight and I imagine waking up one morning from a sleep so restful it only comes from death. I’ve awoken in heaven, in a bedroom kept cool by a fan. At the foot of my bed are my childhood pets, just waking up to greet me after all the years apart. I get to touch their fur again. Hold their sweet faces. Feel the light of their love again. The summer sun of morning is glowing through the window curtains and I can smell breakfast. Perhaps my siblings’ voices can be heard, whispering excitedly outside my door in anticipation of seeing me, or perhaps I’m there first. I know, for the first time in a long time, that I am home.
Idk if anyone will see this but I just wanted to let you know that, you are loved. You are so brave and so strong. I’m so proud of you. Keep going!!! You are needed now more than ever!!! Sending love and hugs to anyone who needs it. 💖🫂
“It’s a girl harmonizing with her fan!” Ohhh so close!! It’s actually the feeling of loosing everything, and relishing that you were so happy you forgot what this feeling was like. So you try to remember everything you loved about it, denying what is to come just so it won’t destroy you. But soon enough you will have to face it and you remember you might not make it out this time because it really is bad now. It’s going to be bad.
“It’s just a girl harmonizing with her fan” so close!!! It’s actually the moment after i left my last argument with my mother, deciding that I’d never see her again and the grief from the good times hitting me at the same time the relief that I’d never live in the bad times again does
Everyone arguing about what it means to them... Let's just all agree that it's the Nostalgia you get listening to thus, regardless of whether or not it's something you had but no longer do or something you WISH you had but never did. Be kind to one another.
"its just a girl harmonizing with her fan" So close! It's actually the winter of 2016, curled against my dog, Maru, as I stare up at the ceiling, the fireplace in the background as I stroke Maru's fur. He was the best dog I could've hoped for. I miss you bud.
when you listen to this and realize you've done probably everything wrong in life. This isn't the right way. But you cant turn back. You cant do anything about it so you lay down on your bed listening to this in silence staring at the ceiling and start silently crying while you rely on your pillows for comfort. man thats a lot of words.
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I know i do, so I’ll say it. I love you a lot. I don’t care who you are, where you are, what you’ve done today, im so proud of you. you deserve to exist. more than that, you deserve to live. take care of yourself. eventually, i promise you, you can be happy again. you could fall in love, if you’d like. travel, maybe. meet people, friends. keep going, okay? life’s fucking hard. it’s not going to be fair. time can’t slow for you, and god, I wish it could, but you can do it. push through, loves. I believe in you and I love you.
This sound makes me remember all the times I had with my beautiful mother. She died of cancer a month ago. Im too young to not have a mom. I miss her every day, it hurts so bad. I love you mom, and I'm sorry I couldn't save you, like you saved me so many times..
Im just wanted to know who was that girl everybody was talking about and now im connecting with A LOT of feelings i don't talk, this a generation of teenagers affected with everything by social media, everything its so fake but just gor a seconds this song make us feel a little alive again Thanks for this video
It’s not just a girl harmonizing with her fan. It’s the feeling of knowing that sometimes all you needed was the love mothers are supposed to provide .
This audio is the feeling of crying myself to sleep on my birthday because it’s storming really bad out and I’m scared sitting awake hugging a stuffy and crying but I can go sleep in mom and dads bed anymore because I’m 14 and I’m too old for that even though my parents have told me they don’t mind, it’s sitting up here alone in the dark knowing that unlike all those years ago no-one’s awake or hearing me right now, it’s knowing that regardless no-one will come and hug me or comfort me and tell me it will be ok because there’s no one there , I’m alone and that’s a scary thing to be .
When I need to go into the depths of my mind - if I need to process an emotion or event or decide what I need to do - I listen to something like this. It could be this exact song, or other relaxing music, or just ambience. I either do this outside in the garden or I turn my fan on: it helps with my concentration. And I go to a place in my mind that I like to call the Astral Realm. I start in the Central Space: a dark purple sky full of white and blue-white stars. I take out my spirit light, which in my case is a blue candle where the light is a tiny star. When I take out the candle, trails of tiny stars create paths for me to follow. Sometimes they lead me forwards, sometimes back, sometimes sideways. Sometimes there's more than one path and I have to choose which one to follow. It's a purely subconscious thing. Then I'm usually led to an object (often a book) or a door, which glows white. I go through it and it takes me to a place my brain wants me to explore: perhaps it's my old school, because it wants me to explore school memories. Perhaps it's a place I want to live. Often it's an island, or the sea. Sometimes there's a challenge I have to face there too, like facing a memory or something that I know I have to do soon. Sometimes there's a book. One time I found a book and opened it, but didn't understand it, but the more I explored, the more of the book I could understand. It was about me. I don't need anything from the outside to tell me when to leave the Astral Realm either; I just know when I'm done. I'm just posting this here in case anyone else wants to try this meditation technique. It doesn't have to be fully immersive and it doesn't have to be a purple sky or a glowing white door or a blue candle or anything. Your Central Space; your gateways, your spirit light can be anything you want it to be. It's surprisingly relaxing. You'd be surprised what your subconscious is trying to tell you sometimes.
This is the sound that played when going through a box of family pictures my dog ate in high school when i found pictures of my mom marrying my dad who she didnt know was csa her other children. its the sound that played when i saw for the first time her gorgeous wedding dress and a smile i'd never see in real life. its finding the pictures of my family as children and knowing how everything changes for them and myself. it makes me sob, it makes me nostalgic for a time that never was, for the happiness and love that was stolen from our lives.
She held her hand to her face as the blood seeped from the scratches left there from the swipes her father made at her. She knew he was just angry and intoxicated but what hurt most was the what he said. The words that left his mouth she knew to be his innermost thoughts, words that stung worse than bees. those words hurt mores than a broken arm. They were sharper than the sharpest knife and they pierced her more than his nails pierced the skin of her face and arms. The clock in the corner of her room had hit 5 am a few mins ago so she knew already sleep wasn't going to be an option. Her mind was suddenly filled with the silence that was her small room, her father had finally fallen asleep and could no longer be heard drinking and stomping around. All she could her was the old fan in the corner of her room. She began to hum as she put her hands down from her face and closed her eyes. the melody she found was comforting. she would always remember that melody because it's the melody she sung the night her father would hit her for the last time. She had piece again.
"Its just a girl harmonizing with her fan!" So close! its actually the sound of watching your heart horse start to go grey as they age, knowing one they they are going to leave you and you cant do anything about it.
Thank u for this.. its incredible that i can listen to this for hours while doing literally anything. This melody is my new favorite, no matter in what mood i am, i could always play this melody and not get tired of it. it gives me an amazing feeling that cannot be described in words
This is what it felt like driving home from the pet hopital at 12:20am, reeling from the fact that you’ve just left your best friend there of 6+ years, and that when you get home and when you wake up, you'll never hear the pitter-patter of his paws on the floor, you won't hear his barking at squirrels, you won't feel him jump on your bed, you won't see him when you get home from school, you won't take him on walks again... Fly high, Sam the beagle. You were irritating sometimes, but we loved you so much. [August 7th, 2014 - August 23rd, 2024]
"it's just a girl harmonizing with her fan" Wrong, it's sitting outside with a soft breeze as the sun sets thinking back on all the years you spent with your friends and all the decisions you've made. its accepting who you are and how far you've come even if some of the memories you have are bitter and sad. its resting in the hands of mother earth and enjoying the peace she brings even if its only for a moment. its reflecting on our mortal fatality and welcoming the changes that it brings even if it will end. its solemn peace.
"It's just a girl harmonizing with her fan". Yes, it is... but it's also the feeling I got when I realized I am not a kid anymore, and never will be again. It's the sound of my grieving, almost as if someone or something precious died, except no one and nothing did. However, it feels although my inner child has passed, and I am left with what I am now. This is me and my life is now, and nothing is the same, never will be. It's my longing for childish innocence and freedom, the ability to play outside all day, to climb trees and tie braids in the grass or make mud pies, my only true worry being the bees in the bush a few feet away from me or if my friend is home today, or wondering if dinner will be done soon. No bills, no responsibilities, no wondering if I'm going to eat that day, no weight crushing me day by day, no fear of the eventual inevitable. Just... a child. A child that is no more, leaving an adult, a new slave to an unfair society and a cruel life. I never should have rushed into being an adult. I want to go home. I miss it.
"It's just a girl harmonizing with her fan" So close!! Its actually the sound of clinging to an online figure to escape your abusive father only to find out the man you were using to escape is guilty of the same crime
“it’s a girl harmonizing with her fan” so close! it’s actually the hum of the engine in the uber that took me to the animal hospital the night my childhood dog had been stabbed
Anyone who listened to the 1 minute 40 second version on RUclips get weird vibes from it? I found it on tiktok and it made me feel a sense of sadness and happiness all at once so I looked it up and the version I found has freaked me out lol I don’t know why I just get evil/sinister vibes from it. It made me feel like I was being tricked with a lullaby. Maybe I’m just a crazy person reading into it too much but I didn’t like the feeling it gave me.
“It’s just a girl harmonizing with her fan.” Almost. It’s July. I’m 20 and out of college for the summer, and I’m paying for community college credits out of pocket. I just got off my second double shift at the restaurant in a row, I come home to a tiny apartment covered in sweat and grease. My family always went out for July 4th, but here I am, out of state and off work, with no where to go to and no friends to hang out with. I take myself to the park and listen to the cicadas from the swing set while the sun sets. Perhaps surviving meant I had to grow up faster than I was meant to.
"it’s just a girl harmonizing with a fan".. no. it's me being called fat knowing it's an absolute true and anyone who'll ever touch me will be disgusted of me.
"Its just a girl harmonizing with a fan!!!" So close! Its actually the sound of the final moments with your best friend while you say goodbye. They are moving half across the country and its the last time you would ever see them! They will die in a car crash 2 hours later. (This didnt happen to me or anyone I know, just the vibes)
"It's just a girl harmonizing with a fan". No, it's the sound of my memaw pulling chicken nuggets out of the oven for dinner at 13, minutes before the tornado ripped the physical world apart and started the process of my family ripping apart. It's the sound of my regret over not keeping in contact with my brothers after.
On September 30th, my mother passed. She had extremely aggressive lung cancer that masticized to her brain. After her diagnoses we only had 3 months with her, and she went downhill fast. She ended up in a coma and was placed on life support just long enough for me to drive half way across the country to be there for my mommy. I promised her she wouldn't die alone, she was terrified to die alone. I made it, and talked to my mother one last time. She could hear me, they say, but couldn't respond. On top of her lung cancer she had diabetes which sent her into ketoacidosis because she couldn't take her insulin from the cancer being too painful. To add just another layer to it, my mother had a nasty infection in her arm that gave her septic shock. And if that wasn't enough, while my mom's was in her coma they found a hole in her GI tract that was secreting toxins into her body. This was fatal unless she had surgery. She was not strong enough to survive surgery. So I stood there, holding my momma's hand, feeling powerless and like I never had enough time. My mom was only 48. She never wanted to be on life support, so as a family we decided it was time. I got only 2 hours with my mother before hand to just talk to her and shower her with all of my love before her life support was removed. I stood at my mother's side, I held her hand, and watched her breathe less and less often while her heart rate slowly went down. For the 15 minutes it took for my mom to pass, this sound played in my head the entire time. I could not help it, it was just there flooding all my senses as I silently cried and told my mom I loved her, that it was okay, she could let go, soon she wouldn't feel pain ever again, that I would take care of all of her kids as the eldest child, and over and over again that I loved her so much. This song will forever haunt me, a stranger humming to a damn fan, but it would haunt me. I miss my mom so much y'all. Today is her celebration of life and I just want to cry.
This makes me realize I need to move on because he is hurting me and he’s been hurting me for a while and for the last two days it made me realize he’s tearing me apart I found someone else recently but now I’m scared to love scared to care scared to LIVE what if this ends up being like how me and my first love ended stuff i wanna move on to the other guy but im scared what if my life gets ruined again cause a boy if I have to go through this fucked up shit again I fear I will realize in relationship it’s not the best thing there usually not loyal usually dry ass texter usually cheaters ect I’m gonna like this new boy and I’ll come back on here in a few month or maybe a year and I’ll update you guys see ya.
So many broken people finding the negative outlook through soulful,meaningful, vocalization. I promise you, if you surrender your heart to Christ, you’ll be healed, and hearing something like this would soothe and pacify and relax you :) It’s beautiful
I've lost my friend due to a bike accident just yesterday and couldn't shed a tear until I put this song on.. for those who are going to read this don't take life for granted, call your friends and family while you still can cause you never know when it's time to go 🤍
Damn I just realized we are in fact 41k broken souls gathered together around that sweet grace ❤️🩹 may we all one day heal to always give the best ❤️🔥
Isn't it kinda crazy how this one random lady who was just having fun with singing is unintentionally healing a generation. This is beautiful.
yap but true 🙏
Not healing…,comfort
500 LIKES W BROOO
"Grief is just love that has nowhere to go"
WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT
Stealing this quote, thanks
"girl harmonising with the fan"
No its about grieving for a childhood never you never had.
Its about the years of trauma you are slowly healing from.
Its realising that this world can be cruel but also beautiful.
Its the memories of sitting under a tree in the middle of nowhere listening to the wind and watching the wildlife.
Its knowing that you are enough and you are a special person and loved by many.
This.
“It’s just a girl harmonizing to her fan”
So close! It’s actually the sound of crying yourself to sleep each night, having to tell yourself everything will get better because no one else is there to tell you. It’s the sound of keeping thoughts to yourself so people don’t think your mentally unstable. It’s the sound of wishing you were never brought to earth. ♡.
“Its just a girl harmonizing with her fan” so close! Its actually the sound of watching your best friend slowly fall apart as years and years of trauma finally catch up to him and knowing you couldn't do anything to stop it from happening.
It's the sound of holding your little brother close as he sobs softly in your arms the night your mother broke the news to both of you that dad and her are gonna separate forever.
dawg.
Suddenly it’s summer again. I’m playing in the backyard with my siblings. The cicadas are tittering and The air is humid. Im out of breath from running around. I still have my pink crocs. Soon it will be time for sleep, which we will complain about, and I will fall asleep listening to the old box fan. Safe in my bed.
thanks for making this 30mins extended, this song gives me nostalgia and unexplainable feeelings,rn Im at my lowest and idk what to do or what step should I take. Life is pressuring me and my anxiety is stacking up thank you so much for making this.
One step at a time, you my friend, got this
@@bjsnchz027 thank you bro thanks so much
It will get hard it will get easier it will be excruciatingly the same just enjoy the little moments
we see you. we send love & harmony
Keep your head up. There’s people in your life that truly care, reach out to them…they’ve been hoping you do.
This is the feeling I get when I realize that while my life is good that I will never be a child again and that I’ve lost that and that I’ll never be able to live life without being worried about the future
Dang past me had no clue what was going to happen lol. Now when I hear this I remember how it felt to see my grandfather in his open casket and how When we were at his grave saying our goodbyes, dispite the fact that it was supposed to be cold, all I felt was the warmth of the sun on my back.
you are enough-you are ALWAYS enough-you always WILL BE enough. don’t try to fit in with the people who don’t like you-find the right people-the ones who will love you for who YOU are! not for what they make you. i love you so much
“It’s just a girl harmonizing with her fan!” No, it’s the feeling of waking up from a dream of having the most beautiful baby in the world, only to see the baby of your dreams isn’t there, and was only part of your mind, knowing you’ll never be capable of creating such beauty.
It's not just a girl harmonizing with her fan. It's the feeling of realizing I will never be properly taken care of by my toxic mom.
Hey dude, I sincerely don't know what you're going throught and just wanted to send some positive thoughts your way, I'm sorry you have to go throught that and I sincerely hope things get better for you, just hang in there, and if nobody told you this already, your presence around is much appriciated
I listen to this while I'm at my grandparents old farm, watching the flowers sway in the wind. Feels like I'm a kid all over again.
“It’s just a girl harmonizing with a fan.” So close! It’s actually me crying over how innocent I was as a child, and I should’ve never had to have gone through the trauma I went through. That the trauma I went through as a child now actually affects me in the present day, and has now made me who I am. That the 4 year old girl who said rainbow was her favorite color, and her favorite animal were puppies, now has gone through sexual abuse, depression, an eating disorder, self harm, and a smoking addiction. How the trauma made me afraid to even look at men in the eye, but crave male validation. How the trauma made me hate shouting or confrontation, but I get mad easily and snap at my loved ones. How I will never be the sweet innocent girl I was, because of the generational trauma I went through. How it made me realize I became the thing I hated most.
“it’s just a girl harmonizing with a fan”
it sounds like being 8 and crying in your mothers arms because you’ve just understood death for the first time, repeatedly whispering “I don’t wanna die” as she strokes your hair and does her best to comfort you even though she is also terrified
My mom telling me my father left, hugging her and telling her everything is going to be okay. Her saying, "No, nothing will ever be okay again." I've never been happier to prove my mom wrong. We're okay.
Brings me back to the day I found out the remains of my friend were found eight months after he went missing. If I would have searched a half mile more- he might have been alive. Or, if he had already been dead, his family would have had closure sooner.
I still blame myself, it's something I'll never be able to get over.
Don’t do that to yourself. Dont blame yourself. It wasn’t your fault. It only makes things worse for you, and, even though I don’t know you and don’t know me, I do NOT want that for you.❤
i love you, i'm sorry
im sure your friend wouldn’t want you blaming yourself its not your fault angel
Mama, I just want your comfort please, don't hurt me again please, ma, just your comfort please, please I'm begging you
Ma please
@@lunala5987are you ok😢
“It’s just a girl harmonizing with a fan” no… It’s the feeling of walking into class the day after your teacher collapsed in class and hearing they died later that same day/that night. Happened 3x. Twice in the 2012-2013 school year, and once in 2014-15 school year when I moved schools.
I had only known the 2014-2015 teacher for about 3 weeks. Maybe a month. It was my favorite class too. Astronomy. His mom came and taught the rest of the year. Bless her soul for stepping up
I distinctly remember the day too. I wasn’t there for the morning announcement that he died, so when I walked into his class to see another teacher I was like “oh he must be still in the hospital. Is he ok?” The look on everyone’s face was like “weren’t you here?” Then i just started sobbing because I easily figured out that he was gone by the look on their faces
Suddenly i'm eight again, the sun peaks through the porch windows as i sit in my grandma's lap, wearing my favorite floral night gown she made. the Texas heat is brutal this summer, but she makes it bearable as she hums and explains how to crochet to me, i look at her in awe, how is she so good at this? Every time i mess up she just smiles and corrects me, god.. how i miss her smile.
''it's just a girl harmonizing with her fan'' No, its the feeling you get the morning after the night your mom overdosed, and you got taken away, and thought you were waking up in your room but soon remembered you were actually at your grandparents house.
This sound will forever play in the back of my head whenever I reimagine my childhood.
Takes me back to when things were simpler, when I smiled and it wasn’t fake. This song feels like summer after a long year of elementary. When I was running down hills, riding scooters until I scraped my knees, laughing with my cousins and siblings, swimming in the neighborhood pool and eating ice cream/sandwiches after.
The funny thing is it doesn’t even feel like that long ago. Yet, it’s so far, and I can never get it back. Only in my memories. I wish I could go back in time to tell my younger self, “Enjoy this, wholeheartedly. For both of us.” I just want to go back. At least one more time.
This is the sound of grieving the old but being excited for the new while lying awake in bed in the dead of a summer night...
"it's just a girl harmonizing with her fan"
No, it's the song that plays in my head when I look at my scars and realize that they're not going to go away, and I'll be ugly forever.
Me too.
Yes, Your scars are permanent. They will never go away.
They are also memories from a hard past.
But they are reminders you have grown.
They are reminders you’re still here.
They are reminders that you are stronger then you think.
My dear, this world has been unkind to you. But that will not always be so.
Your scars are beautiful. You are beautiful. You are loved.
And I know this may not help but in my opinion, scars are cool.
Take care and may you be at peace❤
If I have said anything unhelpful or offensive let me know and I will delete this comment asap.
The scars may never go away but the hurt that caused them to appear will
You are not ugly. You are beautiful and always will be. I hope that the sun shines on you for the rest of your life! ❤
"It's just a girl humming to her kitchen fan,"
So close! It's actually the sound realizing that most new animated films would probably never replicate the same joy and wonder that you had as a child.
I just want to cry again. That feeling of sadness i miss it. I miss feeling emotions. I used to cry when i got sad , used to smile happily and laugh when life was good. Now it feels like i can't even feel all that. I feel emotionally burnt out. Tonight after a long day i was watching tiktok and stumbled on this voice. It sounded like comfort , like the girl in your dreams carresing your hair in her laps. So i searched it up and got here. I went walking on the roof and as i was reading the comments , i started relating , my eyes started to water and it suddenly vanished. I tried forcing my tears but it was nothing. I don't know what this is. If i have some mental desease or smth but i know if i was actually capable of crying , i would cry my eyes out. But I'm emotionally blank now and the sadness is immence and all i can do is cry internally. Amen to that i guess
“it’s just a girl harmonizing with her fan.” no, it’s the sound of a girl who is scared out of her mind and having a panic attack trying to calm herself down and get into the right headspace before performing in front of hundreds of people. this is the sound of her praying to god, “help me, please.”
“Its a girl harmonizing with her fan..”
No. This is a woman that had a dream of having a child, longing for the sound of little feet pitter pattering across the house, the sound of laughter at a silly remark in the car, the sound of music blasting from her child’s room. No however. It was all a fleeting thought, a dream.
“it’s just a girl harmonizing into her fan”
close! it’s actually the sound of me sitting behind my locked door crying and realizing that he’s never going to change. hope this helped!
Its the sound of waking up in a car alone at night at 5 years old. In a dark parking lot with no one else around. Feeling scared and abandonded.
Its watching your dad die as you sit alone outside a hospital room begging for someone to save him.
Its the sound now of knowing that i have children who always want to be around me, and a partner who will always be by my side. I will never feel alone again.
“It’s just a girl harmonizing with her fan”
No it’s a 14 year old watching her papa go through icu, telling him it’s her birthday while he’s unconscious but “getting better” and losing him soon after
RIP Papa 🕊️❤️
“It’s a girl harmonising with her fan”
It’s exactly how I feel after miscarrying, imaging and mourning the life me and my baby would have had together. If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever. I’m so sorry.
“it’s just a girl harmonizing on a fan” so close! it’s actually my inner child and adult me accepting we can’t heal from what happened to us.
I’m in my 20’s and had to put down one of our family cats today. We found him as a kitten when I was 8. He turned 17 sometime this summer. A few years ago, I had to put down our childhood dog from the time I was 7. There’s still one childhood pet alive and well. He’s a cat who’s 16 and has more life to live.
I listen to this tonight and I imagine waking up one morning from a sleep so restful it only comes from death. I’ve awoken in heaven, in a bedroom kept cool by a fan. At the foot of my bed are my childhood pets, just waking up to greet me after all the years apart. I get to touch their fur again. Hold their sweet faces. Feel the light of their love again. The summer sun of morning is glowing through the window curtains and I can smell breakfast. Perhaps my siblings’ voices can be heard, whispering excitedly outside my door in anticipation of seeing me, or perhaps I’m there first. I know, for the first time in a long time, that I am home.
Best version of this :)
It reminds me of a perfect place that I had in my mind where there is love and contentment. Feels like finally being home
Idk if anyone will see this but I just wanted to let you know that, you are loved. You are so brave and so strong. I’m so proud of you. Keep going!!! You are needed now more than ever!!! Sending love and hugs to anyone who needs it. 💖🫂
aw my unknown potato thank you
Thank you. I wish you peace, happiness and many blessings as well.
this is sum thing that will fix me fix my depression and anxiety and trauma
“It’s a girl harmonizing with her fan!”
Ohhh so close!! It’s actually the feeling of loosing everything, and relishing that you were so happy you forgot what this feeling was like. So you try to remember everything you loved about it, denying what is to come just so it won’t destroy you. But soon enough you will have to face it and you remember you might not make it out this time because it really is bad now. It’s going to be bad.
Thank you from making this lullaby my little baby cousin fall asleep immediately because of this song
“It’s just a girl harmonizing with her fan”
so close!!! It’s actually the moment after i left my last argument with my mother, deciding that I’d never see her again and the grief from the good times hitting me at the same time the relief that I’d never live in the bad times again does
Everyone arguing about what it means to them...
Let's just all agree that it's the Nostalgia you get listening to thus, regardless of whether or not it's something you had but no longer do or something you WISH you had but never did.
Be kind to one another.
This reminds me of my mom singing to me when i was younger, i want it back
Claire Boyer (the lady who made this song) made such a simple, sweet melody and had a lasting impact on so many people. An absolute BEAUTIFUL song. 🥹
"its just a girl harmonizing with her fan"
So close! It's actually the winter of 2016, curled against my dog, Maru, as I stare up at the ceiling, the fireplace in the background as I stroke Maru's fur. He was the best dog I could've hoped for. I miss you bud.
when you listen to this and realize you've done probably everything wrong in life. This isn't the right way. But you cant turn back. You cant do anything about it so you lay down on your bed listening to this in silence staring at the ceiling and start silently crying while you rely on your pillows for comfort.
man thats a lot of words.
This makes me cry and miss my mum, I’m 20. I just want to be a kid again bro
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I know i do, so I’ll say it. I love you a lot.
I don’t care who you are, where you are, what you’ve done today, im so proud of you.
you deserve to exist. more than that, you deserve to live. take care of yourself. eventually, i promise you, you can be happy again. you could fall in love, if you’d like. travel, maybe. meet people, friends.
keep going, okay? life’s fucking hard. it’s not going to be fair. time can’t slow for you, and god, I wish it could, but you can do it. push through, loves.
I believe in you and I love you.
“Oh it’s just a girl harmonising with her fan!” No, it’s the sound of my parents singing me a lullaby before sleep
Its giving "healing and letting go of the burden"
Tbh, she kinda sounds like a siren
I was thinking the same thing.
I think's that's what is making so addicted to this
This sound makes me remember all the times I had with my beautiful mother. She died of cancer a month ago. Im too young to not have a mom. I miss her every day, it hurts so bad. I love you mom, and I'm sorry I couldn't save you, like you saved me so many times..
its not a girl harmonizing with her fan, its the sound the trees made as i sat out on the back poarch, realizing my dad will never be the same.
Im just wanted to know who was that girl everybody was talking about and now im connecting with A LOT of feelings i don't talk, this a generation of teenagers affected with everything by social media, everything its so fake but just gor a seconds this song make us feel a little alive again
Thanks for this video
This is magical, thank you ❤
“just a girl harmonizing with her fan.”
no. this is the day my friend decided to take my best friend
It’s not just a girl harmonizing with her fan. It’s the feeling of knowing that sometimes all you needed was the love mothers are supposed to provide .
This audio is the feeling of crying myself to sleep on my birthday because it’s storming really bad out and I’m scared sitting awake hugging a stuffy and crying but I can go sleep in mom and dads bed anymore because I’m 14 and I’m too old for that even though my parents have told me they don’t mind, it’s sitting up here alone in the dark knowing that unlike all those years ago no-one’s awake or hearing me right now, it’s knowing that regardless no-one will come and hug me or comfort me and tell me it will be ok because there’s no one there , I’m alone and that’s a scary thing to be .
When I need to go into the depths of my mind - if I need to process an emotion or event or decide what I need to do - I listen to something like this. It could be this exact song, or other relaxing music, or just ambience. I either do this outside in the garden or I turn my fan on: it helps with my concentration. And I go to a place in my mind that I like to call the Astral Realm. I start in the Central Space: a dark purple sky full of white and blue-white stars. I take out my spirit light, which in my case is a blue candle where the light is a tiny star. When I take out the candle, trails of tiny stars create paths for me to follow. Sometimes they lead me forwards, sometimes back, sometimes sideways. Sometimes there's more than one path and I have to choose which one to follow. It's a purely subconscious thing. Then I'm usually led to an object (often a book) or a door, which glows white. I go through it and it takes me to a place my brain wants me to explore: perhaps it's my old school, because it wants me to explore school memories. Perhaps it's a place I want to live. Often it's an island, or the sea. Sometimes there's a challenge I have to face there too, like facing a memory or something that I know I have to do soon. Sometimes there's a book. One time I found a book and opened it, but didn't understand it, but the more I explored, the more of the book I could understand. It was about me. I don't need anything from the outside to tell me when to leave the Astral Realm either; I just know when I'm done.
I'm just posting this here in case anyone else wants to try this meditation technique. It doesn't have to be fully immersive and it doesn't have to be a purple sky or a glowing white door or a blue candle or anything. Your Central Space; your gateways, your spirit light can be anything you want it to be. It's surprisingly relaxing. You'd be surprised what your subconscious is trying to tell you sometimes.
I would love to hear more about this I’ve been starting to meditate but I’m not sure how to get it down
This is what grieving for your mom sounds like
This is the sound that played when going through a box of family pictures my dog ate in high school when i found pictures of my mom marrying my dad who she didnt know was csa her other children. its the sound that played when i saw for the first time her gorgeous wedding dress and a smile i'd never see in real life. its finding the pictures of my family as children and knowing how everything changes for them and myself. it makes me sob, it makes me nostalgic for a time that never was, for the happiness and love that was stolen from our lives.
Im just listening to this song while remembering every part of my childhood
Ive been doing all my homework with this sound blasting my ears, really cool for adhders like me! xD
She held her hand to her face as the blood seeped from the scratches left there from the swipes her father made at her. She knew he was just angry and intoxicated but what hurt most was the what he said. The words that left his mouth she knew to be his innermost thoughts, words that stung worse than bees. those words hurt mores than a broken arm. They were sharper than the sharpest knife and they pierced her more than his nails pierced the skin of her face and arms. The clock in the corner of her room had hit 5 am a few mins ago so she knew already sleep wasn't going to be an option. Her mind was suddenly filled with the silence that was her small room, her father had finally fallen asleep and could no longer be heard drinking and stomping around. All she could her was the old fan in the corner of her room. She began to hum as she put her hands down from her face and closed her eyes. the melody she found was comforting. she would always remember that melody because it's the melody she sung the night her father would hit her for the last time. She had piece again.
this makes me need to hug my dog...
"Its just a girl harmonizing with her fan!" So close! its actually the sound of watching your heart horse start to go grey as they age, knowing one they they are going to leave you and you cant do anything about it.
Thank u for this.. its incredible that i can listen to this for hours while doing literally anything. This melody is my new favorite, no matter in what mood i am, i could always play this melody and not get tired of it. it gives me an amazing feeling that cannot be described in words
This is what it felt like driving home from the pet hopital at 12:20am, reeling from the fact that you’ve just left your best friend there of 6+ years, and that when you get home and when you wake up, you'll never hear the pitter-patter of his paws on the floor, you won't hear his barking at squirrels, you won't feel him jump on your bed, you won't see him when you get home from school, you won't take him on walks again...
Fly high, Sam the beagle. You were irritating sometimes, but we loved you so much.
[August 7th, 2014 - August 23rd, 2024]
"it's just a girl harmonizing with her fan" Wrong, it's sitting outside with a soft breeze as the sun sets thinking back on all the years you spent with your friends and all the decisions you've made. its accepting who you are and how far you've come even if some of the memories you have are bitter and sad. its resting in the hands of mother earth and enjoying the peace she brings even if its only for a moment. its reflecting on our mortal fatality and welcoming the changes that it brings even if it will end. its solemn peace.
This should be the new hunger games theme 2024
"It's just a girl harmonizing with her fan".
Yes, it is... but it's also the feeling I got when I realized I am not a kid anymore, and never will be again. It's the sound of my grieving, almost as if someone or something precious died, except no one and nothing did. However, it feels although my inner child has passed, and I am left with what I am now. This is me and my life is now, and nothing is the same, never will be. It's my longing for childish innocence and freedom, the ability to play outside all day, to climb trees and tie braids in the grass or make mud pies, my only true worry being the bees in the bush a few feet away from me or if my friend is home today, or wondering if dinner will be done soon. No bills, no responsibilities, no wondering if I'm going to eat that day, no weight crushing me day by day, no fear of the eventual inevitable.
Just... a child. A child that is no more, leaving an adult, a new slave to an unfair society and a cruel life.
I never should have rushed into being an adult.
I want to go home.
I miss it.
I want my mom to love me the way she was supposed to.....
Please don’t hurt me again “bestie” I just want to feel loved :(
"It's just a girl harmonizing with her fan" So close!! Its actually the sound of clinging to an online figure to escape your abusive father only to find out the man you were using to escape is guilty of the same crime
“it’s a girl harmonizing with her fan” so close! it’s actually the hum of the engine in the uber that took me to the animal hospital the night my childhood dog had been stabbed
it will never be the same again.
I love my mum and dad so much.
Its just a girl harmonizing with her fan, no ... its the sound of 3am, you cant sleep and everything is a struggle.
Anyone who listened to the 1 minute 40 second version on RUclips get weird vibes from it? I found it on tiktok and it made me feel a sense of sadness and happiness all at once so I looked it up and the version I found has freaked me out lol I don’t know why I just get evil/sinister vibes from it. It made me feel like I was being tricked with a lullaby. Maybe I’m just a crazy person reading into it too much but I didn’t like the feeling it gave me.
“It’s just a girl harmonizing with her fan.”
Almost. It’s July. I’m 20 and out of college for the summer, and I’m paying for community college credits out of pocket. I just got off my second double shift at the restaurant in a row, I come home to a tiny apartment covered in sweat and grease. My family always went out for July 4th, but here I am, out of state and off work, with no where to go to and no friends to hang out with. I take myself to the park and listen to the cicadas from the swing set while the sun sets. Perhaps surviving meant I had to grow up faster than I was meant to.
I miss my budgie so much... :(
"it’s just a girl harmonizing with a fan".. no. it's me being called fat knowing it's an absolute true and anyone who'll ever touch me will be disgusted of me.
"Its just a girl harmonizing with a fan!!!" So close! Its actually the sound of the final moments with your best friend while you say goodbye. They are moving half across the country and its the last time you would ever see them!
They will die in a car crash 2 hours later.
(This didnt happen to me or anyone I know, just the vibes)
This song reminds me of the hunger games
"It's just a girl harmonizing with a fan". No, it's the sound of my memaw pulling chicken nuggets out of the oven for dinner at 13, minutes before the tornado ripped the physical world apart and started the process of my family ripping apart.
It's the sound of my regret over not keeping in contact with my brothers after.
On September 30th, my mother passed. She had extremely aggressive lung cancer that masticized to her brain. After her diagnoses we only had 3 months with her, and she went downhill fast. She ended up in a coma and was placed on life support just long enough for me to drive half way across the country to be there for my mommy. I promised her she wouldn't die alone, she was terrified to die alone. I made it, and talked to my mother one last time. She could hear me, they say, but couldn't respond. On top of her lung cancer she had diabetes which sent her into ketoacidosis because she couldn't take her insulin from the cancer being too painful. To add just another layer to it, my mother had a nasty infection in her arm that gave her septic shock. And if that wasn't enough, while my mom's was in her coma they found a hole in her GI tract that was secreting toxins into her body. This was fatal unless she had surgery. She was not strong enough to survive surgery. So I stood there, holding my momma's hand, feeling powerless and like I never had enough time. My mom was only 48. She never wanted to be on life support, so as a family we decided it was time. I got only 2 hours with my mother before hand to just talk to her and shower her with all of my love before her life support was removed. I stood at my mother's side, I held her hand, and watched her breathe less and less often while her heart rate slowly went down. For the 15 minutes it took for my mom to pass, this sound played in my head the entire time. I could not help it, it was just there flooding all my senses as I silently cried and told my mom I loved her, that it was okay, she could let go, soon she wouldn't feel pain ever again, that I would take care of all of her kids as the eldest child, and over and over again that I loved her so much. This song will forever haunt me, a stranger humming to a damn fan, but it would haunt me. I miss my mom so much y'all. Today is her celebration of life and I just want to cry.
Korrasami.
What genre is this….. I need more
I miss you a lot Myra, wish we weren’t torn apart from each other. maybe we weren’t meant to be like we thought we were.
This makes me realize I need to move on because he is hurting me and he’s been hurting me for a while and for the last two days it made me realize he’s tearing me apart I found someone else recently but now I’m scared to love scared to care scared to LIVE what if this ends up being like how me and my first love ended stuff i wanna move on to the other guy but im scared what if my life gets ruined again cause a boy if I have to go through this fucked up shit again I fear I will realize in relationship it’s not the best thing there usually not loyal usually dry ass texter usually cheaters ect I’m gonna like this new boy and I’ll come back on here in a few month or maybe a year and I’ll update you guys see ya.
❤
22 july ill'be back
please someone ask me how i'm doing in 6 months since this comment.
To everyone watch this, Jesus loves you and you are not alone. He is here to heal you. God bless.
мам, пап, вы меня любите?
😅 everyone can do it
So many broken people finding the negative outlook through soulful,meaningful, vocalization.
I promise you, if you surrender your heart to Christ, you’ll be healed, and hearing something like this would soothe and pacify and relax you :)
It’s beautiful
I feel like I wanna be in heaven with him.
What a weak generation.
Lmao, edgy. Make sure to wake up on the right side of the bed next time, Zoey.
Are we weak for feeling?
Compassion is the leading characteristic of strong people. You got none.
i hope you wake to the abyss of your apathy
"Take my hand. Close your eyes. Now feel" haha hypocritical profile zo.
I've lost my friend due to a bike accident just yesterday and couldn't shed a tear until I put this song on.. for those who are going to read this don't take life for granted, call your friends and family while you still can cause you never know when it's time to go 🤍
Damn I just realized we are in fact 41k broken souls gathered together around that sweet grace ❤️🩹 may we all one day heal to always give the best ❤️🔥