PERSONALITY DISORDERS
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- Опубликовано: 19 окт 2024
- I wanted to say many of you guys have made great points in the comments so far such as not all of those diagnosed with antisocial PD are violent or hostile, borderline PD is mostly emotional instability, and these symptoms vary and does not mean you have a particular PD. this video was already extremely long and I left out some of the most important facts of all for which I am sorry. I am the last person to condemn or generalize those who suffer from these disorders, this was meant to be a very broad, educational video. but please please keep posting more information in the comments of your experiences to help educate all of us, myself included, and stay strong xx
aaaand I'm back. let me know what other videos you'd like me to do, I have a whole list going that I'm super excited about! hopefully I can bring you more psychology content.
if you're struggling and need help here are some resources:
try the method I use for counseling
www.tryonlinet...
national hotline for the US
1-800-273-8255
international hotline information
ibpf.org/resour...
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Psychology student here. Please, don't hate on us for hearing us, psychology students/psychologists, say "I'm interested in that mental disorder/personality disorder". It doesn't mean "I find it cool, it's really edgy". By saying that, we mean "I want to learn more. What are the mecanisms behind it ? What's that person experiencing ? How can I help them ?". It means we want to develop our knowlege in order to do our best for those who need help (or help scientific research progress).
Also, great video, Sarah !
Diane Young I love this comment!
bullshit your not studying psychology to treat people your doing it because you lack normal traits.
being a victim of a npd and having 2 sessions with a therapist i know psychologists dont give a fuck about victims but idealise people with personality disorders,
Victor Jones someone's salty. For someone who's been to a THERAPIST, you sure do hate on PSYCHOLOGISTS, which by the way, are two very different things.
yeah salty is a good description ........ regardless therapist or psychologist they are full of crap.
they know the world is run by narcissists and only contribute by listning to people and not judging them.
whilst knowing they cant cure any cluster a b or c disorder.
i suffered npd abuse went to see a psychologist after 2 sessions i realised they probably had a personality disorder.
after them telling me that npd's are great people and her tutor who was awsome has bpd.
i conclude that people who study psychology do so because they know they are damaged and are not normal.
hence my experience and in all honesty i find psychologist's full of shit
someone prove me wrong.
Victor Jones okay everyone is different. Not everyone is going to treat you the same. So, until you've talked to many psychologists/therapists, it's kind of hard for you to say that they're "all full of shit" and "damaged." Some actually do care and want to help.
I have borderline personality disorder and I must say that it isn't true that people with personality disorders don't see anything wrong with them. I begged my doctors for 6 years to find out what was wrong with me before I even got diagnosed. We see something is wrong and that makes us frustrated enough to act out even more. It's not manipulative.
Jessica Latham i can relate
I always felt like something was wrong with me as well but I do understand the point in the sense that until I started talking to a professional I assumed everyone saw things the way I did or thought the way I did. So while I felt like i had issues I didn’t realize that they were specific to any disorder (i was diagnosed with BPD as well), i thought they were just the struggles of living i guess.
Yes, and that’s great! You recognized it and wanted help, but the reality is many people with BPD refuse to acknowledge that anything is wrong. Those I know with it think they’re always right and others are wrong. So glad you’re getting the help you need!
i definitely agree
There are different personality disorders so although I'm sorry you had to live through 6 years of undiagnosed BPD, you technically can't speak for other personality disorders. Everyone brain and brain chemistry is different and some may think that the way they think is how everyone else thinks too- it depends on many different factors such as the personality disorder, environment, peers, etc. And all of these factors determine whether or not someone thinks that something is "wrong" (because nothing is wrong with a person with a personality disorder, they are just wired differently) and everyone has their own experience.
I've been diagnosed as BPD and honestly, this video was a little hard to watch because of that lol. I hope people take this as an actual illness and not just for entertainment value. Trust me, there isn't anything "glamorous" about any of these disorders.
I've been a subscriber for a few years now and I love you because you upload these psychology videos. No hate here at all. Just wanted to tell you that ❤️.
thank you so much for sharing and I apologize if this is hard to watch in any way. I definitely didn't make this video strictly for entertainment, rather education so I agree I hope others see it that way! xx
I have BPD as well and I agree that this was a little hard to watch. in fact it made me kind of anxious. I love these videos though, Sarah! thank you so much for educating people!
Shawndra Spears me too haha now bpd is more well known in social media i kinda dont like it bc theres people on tumblr reblogging bpd specific posts because its (quote on quote from personal experience) "relatable" and "cool". This isnt really to do with the video (although i do find this hard to watch as its hard to see my disorder as fascinating since i deal with it every day) but seeing people on tumblr call it relatable just makes me feel so nasty ya know? Like u think its cool or relatable to live with this? Like if they lived with this, they wouldnt last more than a few days bc its just not fun at all
Shawndra Spears same here! i have bpd and i usually love sarah's videos but i had to turn this one off because it was too upsetting
I was recently diagnosed with OCD and it's terrible but it irritates me when people think it's cute to claim they have OCD. It cost me my relationship, I lost a semester of school, and almost committed suicide. People should think before they use disorders as a trend
vianey Rodriguez I completely agree. At my job, one of my coworker's said that she's "so bipolar" and even though I am not diagnosed with any mental disorder, I don't think it's right to use a mental disorder to describe certain behaviors or as a joke.
Honestly wasn't aware that antisocial PD was... what it is. I guess I thought in all my ignorance that it was the "don't like hanging out with people" thing that it has "become" hehe. Or well, at least I didn't get how serious it was. Learned something new!
@Okwaho Valentine Hi fellow antisocial! XD
Don't really 'get' some of the comments below. If nobody found the study of mental illness, illnesses in general or simply just the human condition interesting, you would have nobody studying it/ writing about it/ researching it. It is fascinating. Humans are fascinating. I suffer from depression and find the study of it and other illnesses interesting. Reading studies based on MH or even watching videos like Sarah's, help me understand my MH further and it all makes me feel less "alone" through my struggle. Of all the people to criticise over MH discussion or specifically personality disorder info, Sarah would be the last. We need more RUclipsrs discussing "taboo" subjects and informing people.
You left out the fact that with BPD, a huge reason for the black and white thinking in relationships stems from an intense fear of abandonment, usually from childhood abandonment.
Totally not speaking from experience... (:
I was diagnosed with bpd a little over a year now and many people think the bpd people are ''liars''
oop same
@@alexsencion2749 I hope those ignorant 🤬@$$-holes DIE ugly deaths! 😠
Not gonna lie, reading the title made me very nervous. Watching the video, you sounded very straight forward and you didn't make any jokes or laugh which gave me relief because it's such a serious thing. But the base of bpd is the fear of abandonment, I think that's a huge thing to mention. Really great video and I love how you said people throw words around, they do and I wish people would realize that it's not okay.
I've scrolled through the comments and I can understand both sides of this argument. I feel like if Sarah was having an in-person conversation with some of you, you'd feel less upset about it. Sarah has many times admitted that she herself has mild depression and anxiety. She struggles with mental illness, but her fascination is not based on people suffering. When you study abnormal psychology, you learn about the classification of mental disorders and how they can be treated. Psychiatric nurses take these courses as does anyone else who is going to be a counselor or psychiatrist. Sarah is the last person that would ever glorify mental illness and she's used her channel to spread so much awareness about mental health. For those of you who were upset with her description of BPD, look into the quiet borderline. Watch Kati Morton's videos about BPD. Sarah did a good job explaining it, but as she said in the description, this video would be way longer if she kept going. I also saw someone insulting undergraduate psychology students and that isn't productive either? Most of us study it because we find it fascinating but not in the way you think. I have panic disorder with agoraphobia, OCD, and probably a lot of other stuff and I've spent years in treatment. When I took abnormal psychology, I changed my major because I understood the background of these mental illnesses because I lived through most of them. I watched people close to me go through them.. and if it weren't for psychology being a field of study, you wouldn't have counselors and psychiatrists available to treat you (which I saw someone mention, thank you). Sarah wants to be a school counselor and I'm an aspiring social worker so I hope some of you can understand that we know what it's like to suffer through a debilitating mental illness and we want to help people.
Sorry for the rant I just love Sarah so much 😭
guiltmenot aww thank you so much I seriously could not have said it better myself! xx
Sarah Hawkinson of course girl any time you need backup I got chu, especially related to this.. your vlogs grounded me this December ily so much thank you 💕
I would love to hear about mood disorders, depression, anxiety etc! All topics!
aliza goehner depression is a mood disorder.
That's what aliza said lol
A word of caution to those watching this video thinking "wow, I love psychology, this is so interesting, I want to be a psychologist" from a student studying: The brain is mesmerizing, there is no doubting that. However, being a psychologist/psychiatrist/therapist/counselor is a very emotionally and mentally demanding job. You have to listen to very troubled, incognizant people everyday and decide what the best method is to help these people get better. And unfortunately, sometimes, there's no way for people to get better. It's a very difficult job that requires much schooling. There is so much more to psychology than mood disorders and personality disorders, which are the two branches people are most curious about. Please do not think that just because you find this video and others like it interesting that you should go into psychology. You need to very carefully examine yourself and determine if you can even handle the stress of taking on others' issues. It is a very demanding profession. Surface interest in certain topics will not be enough to continue a lifelong career.
Nicole I don't know what to do now. I feel like I'm not good enough to be a psychologist
Very true. Ive always been very interested in becoming a psychologist but knew unless i really do some deep digging and deep healing, I wouldn't be of any good use to a patient, or myself. I already see myself crying in front of someone telling me about their trauma, and I'm gonna go ahead and say that's the last thing they need lol.
People who work under the psychology umbrella aren't "fixed", and don't have all their shit together, but you do need to have a pretty good grasp on your emotional health in order to do the job, and learn to separate your pain from your patients.
@@seignee I think this comment on it's own says a whole lot about you and how you feel about yourself. If you have self worth issues, start there. If you heal and you want to touch that dream, you can.
I have Dissociative Identity Disorder, it's a pain in the ass having about 5 very different people stuck inside your head, it has costed me a lot to handle it and not loose my mind in the process, so far so good, I got 5 friends in my head and 0 in real life.
Btw I identified my other 'identities' with all the clutters, intense af.
Hey Sarah, I know you learned all about this in school, but if you ever use any online resources for your videos, you should put the sources in the description! I really like learning about stuff like this and if you use any stuff outside of your knowledge from your courses, having any resources that are available to the general public would be really cool for anyone who wants to look into the topic more after learning about it in your videos
Being a language geek, I don't necessarily agree about not using words like 'narcissistic' or 'antisocial'. While I can recognise that they are used to describe personality disorders, their meanings are too broad and already existed prior to the recognition of the disorder (things like bipolar and schizophrenic have more specific, narrow meanings and as a result should definitely not be used lightly.) In specific and obvious relation to the disorder, 'narcissitic' etc. obviously shouldn't be used outside of diagnosed cases, but I don't think it's fair to assume the link between these words and the disorders they are in some cases linked to.
Bearing in mind I hate when people say 'that gives me anxiety' or 'ugh i'm depressed' when they are a bit uncomfortable or upset.
조슈아 i feel it's also necessary to acknowledge that you can be depressed/anxious without having a disorder. they're normal human emotions. obviously saying "i'm anxious" is different from "i have anxiety".
I love these videos, the human mind is fascinating. What you said about people throwing words around to others that are hurtful without knowing the actual definition is soooooo true.
we need to talk about kevin was one of those movies that made me so severely uncomfortable but i wanted to watch it over and over again because he was so interesting and i wanted so badly to get inside this kids mind and understand why he was the way he was
rachael t same!!
you should read the book too! the movie's great but the book goes more into the mother and how she could've impacted kevin's development
Same, I started watching the movie because of Ezra miller and I had no idea how amazingly disturbing it was (in a good way)
ive been wanting to watch it for a while and its a bonus that it has my baby in it (ezra miller)
a trailer for "split" played before this video
Julia Fletcher 🙄🙄 problematic movie trailer alert
problematic?
I've educated themself a lot on DID and yes it's definitely a problematic movie because it demonstrates false stereotypes about people with DID, like having an evil alter.
As someone with DiD I really think Split should have been pulled from theaters because it's portrays DiD as something to be afraid of as if everyone with DiD is a lunatic when really most people with mental illnesses especially like DiD are more likely to get taken advantage of.
Diagnosed with Conduct Disorder & ASPD on multiple occasions... I could go on quite a rant on the subject of misunderstanding & misinterpretation. It's easier to take the extremes at face value & refuse to delve deeper in order to protect oneself from potential danger.
But dude... I spend waaaaaay more of my time bored than scheming & plotting ways to fuck people over. Exponentially more. Maybe my impulsivity has died down over the years? But I've been through a couple courses of therapy [relationship therapy for cheating, family therapy, therapy from school misconduct, etc] & it's gotten to a state where self-interest is priority. And oftentimes... That is inconsistent with acting on impulse -- stealing, property destruction, drug dealing, cheating. That's also inconsistent with screwing around with people you regularly interact with or keep around. And I'm definitely not going to murder one of 'em, hahahah.
Not to say I don't understand why the bad rap. No one likes to be exploited or disregarded -- I certainly don't enjoy being fucked around with or played or treated like my needs don't matter... However, that isn't typically the first thought that pops into your mind when you're feeling antsy & bored. Or in general. But I get something out of trying more often than not trying [or at least in a longer-lasting capacity], so I might as well. More effort to be an asshole than to just be lazy & not bother with others.
One book that was very interesting to me is "The New Personality Self-Portrait". It presents the personality disorders as extremes in the spectrum of different personality types -- it has a questionnaire to identify which types you present/think/feel most like & provides insight, as well as mechanisms of dealing with certain behaviours that are troubling to you. I think you'd enjoy that read.
And another huge pet peeve is the widespread belief that treatment is a lost cause or to just refuse treatment at all to someone is kind of ridiculous. Sure, there are some people that will keep doing what they do until it kills them. But there are people with enough intelligence to figure out that they're not invincible & that their life isn't working. Self-interest is a powerful tool. If you can convince yourself that you're better off & you get palpable rewards off that? It works. It's not fool-proof & you can't change a person 100% [I debate the ethics of that, regardless], but it's not a complete bust. But maybe they just don't want to put in the effort themselves. ;)
But yeah... I think that about sums up my thoughts/feelings on my disorder. I don't have a TL;DR to provide for anyone that's too lazy to read the entirety of it -- I don't think these sorts of thoughts & trying to understand the perspective of someone you can't identify with can be summed up, anyway.
But yeah, this was a really informative video. And I intensely agree with your point on not throwing around words like "narcissist" or "antisocial" all over the place. Especially because people use "antisocial" wrong, hahah. It's just overall damaging to public awareness but it's also appalling how we have such an enormous number of adjectives we could be using & they choose inappropriate ones.
I was diagnosed with Borderline years ago, but nowadays I don't even think about it, it's like my Aspergers; a part of me and how I think, live and behave.
That most people think of us as manipulative and "drama queens" is very sad, since I don't even get to explain myself.
But I liked this video, especially since you didn't make any comments about the facts :)
You would make a wonderful professor! I really learned a lot from this. I would love to see a video about your favorite psychotherapy techniques.
aw thank you that's a huge compliment I've definitely thought about becoming a teacher :) and that would be an interesting topic!
Princess Zelda I second this!
Your passion for your studies makes me want to work harder. Thanks for being so informative :)
I was raised by two people with personality disorders from cluster b. My father is a formally diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder and borderline personality disorder, and my mother while not having a formal diagnosis has screened for narcissistic personality disorder and she screened likely to have it. So I find these disorders very interesting but I also have a built in defense mechanism whenever I hear about or see people exhibiting these traits. And since you're studying psychology I thought you might be interested in hearing a first hand account of being raised by someone with a cluster b personality disorder, especially seeing as how you're so interested in that particular cluster.
Firstly, as a younger child I had no idea that my parents weren't normal. My mother was very neglectful. She never cleaned, cooked, watched us, washed our clothes. She seemed to lack the ability to care for us or be concerned for our well being. My father never helped either, as he was absent from my early childhood and when he did come live with us he essentially acted like an adult child.
So the main traits that mother exhibited was that she was extremely emotionally immature. I think this is in part do to her emotional trauma as little girl, and that she regressed mentally as a coping mechanism. The narcissistic traits that she exhibited were that she'd leave me alone in the house to go somewhere with no one to watch me. She took my blankets to keep herself warm. She would cry sometimes when I didn't do something for her and emotionally blackmailed me into doing it. She used to put my abusive father first and enabled his behavior. There are other behaviors that she did that probably aren't suited for a youtube comment, but they as well as everything else left lasting emotional scars on me.
She also had huge illusions of grandeur. While she is smart she believe that she was super intelligent. And through her belief in god she believed that she had special communication with him and would cry about how much he cared about her. She generally believes that she's a very special person, who smarter and better than everyone else. Yet she has a very low self-esteem. She would always second guess herself or tell herself how much she hates herself. Things like that.
But she was a saint compared to my father.
My father was extremely violent with little or no regard for our well being. He'd swing between a falsely caring façade to make us forget about his episodes. Back then I didn't realize that it was emotional manipulation as I was too young. He would take his anger out on us, especially me. Sometimes beating me violently if I did something wrong. Threatening to kill me or my siblings. Telling us we were too sensitive and not fit for this world and that we might as well die. Yelling at my mother, punching holes in the walls. One day he told me that he wished he could have lived a life legally killing people.
He would humiliate me around others, telling them I was a bad daughter. He lacked any remorse for what he'd done or empathy. I could tell that he believed that he was normal and we were the unwell ones. I realized that he lacked fully matured emotions, and that he too was emotionally regressed partially due to trauma. He also naturally lacked emotional depth as well. He has no capacity for emotions besides anger it seems.
I ended up having relationships with people who ended up exhibiting similar qualities because I didn't realize that those qualities weren't normal. The combined lack of attention from my mother and the extreme lowering of self esteem from my father ended up for lack of better words, screwing with me mentally. I think it's interesting how children will react to being raised in unhealthy environments, and how their behavior as adults can correspond with the disorders of the people they were raised by. For me it resulted in a severe lack of self esteem, self mutilation and severe and chronic depression. I don't have any personality disorders despite my genetics and being raised in that environment. While I used to exhibit behaviors related to them, it was found that they were taught more than natural so to speak.
For this reason I do tend to lack sympathy for abusers and such. Not that I'm saying if someone has any of these disorders then they will abusers, just abusers in general. I feel like despite what we're compelled to, or what help we receive we can all make choices not to hurt people. And in order to step past that line of hurting others, first you have to have a lack of regard for others. So yeah, usually I avoid topics like these because they bring up horrible memories, but I wanted to put this out there for anyone who's curious.
I liked the way you described BPD. I've been diagnosed myself and I was mentally preparing myself to hear something bad or "exaggerated" or something I'd have negative feelings about (black and white thinking, hah). Most people describe people who are diagnosed with BPD as "acting out" and I'm not like that at all.
Thank you for making this, it was really interesting to look outside of my BPD bubble (in the sense that I know a lot about it because I had/still have to educate myself on it) and learn more about other personality disorders :)
Evel have you heard of the "quiet borderline"? I never heard about it in my abnormal psych class or from a therapist but I think kati Morton might have a video on it.. she's a therapist who makes mental health RUclips videos. Quiet borderlines are known for taking out their feelings on themselves (SH, restriction, etc.) as opposed to damaging their relationships with others.
guiltmenot Yes, I have heard about it (actually found out about it on tumblr...) :) It's just something most people leave out completely when talking about BPD and I didn't really know how to word it when I was writing the first comment...^^'
I'll look Kati Morton up, thank you for recommending her, I'm always looking for more information. :)
Evel i also have bpd, but i (personally) do not like the use of "quiet" vs "loud" bpd. we can experience both internal and external reactions, the dichotomy serves to further stigmatize borderlines by labeling us as good (quiet) or bad (loud). i feel like those terms invalidate our emotions instead of making sense of them
also if you're looking for resources, the blog shitborderlinesdo on tumblr is great. all the mods have bpd as well
***** I can see why you think that way. I know sometimes I do act out, but it's so rare for me and since this acting out thing is what people most associate with BPD (in my experience) I do actually feel comfortable with the possibility of using the "quiet" label. I don't want to say that "loud" borderlines are bad people, but I can see how these labels might do damage...
Thank you for sharing that, I've never seen it from your perspective before!
I actually like shitborderlinesdo a lot! :)
(Sorry if I made a few mistakes writing this... my English grammar skills are the worst in the mornings)
I'm super late to this video, but I was diagnosed with BPD and NPD awhile back and I find all these comments interesting, it took me a bit to actual watch this video since it was a bit upsetting to watch. Especially since I see SO MUCH stigma around all the personality disorder. I've had to edit this comment like 4 times so I wouldn't come off as extremely rude. Rip.
I think talking about cults would be interesting! such as how anyone could become apart of one and such!
I love your psychology videos!! I'm consider studying psychology in the future and your videos really encourage me. :) Oh and this might be weird but I'd love to see a video about the unethical psychological experiments (Milgram, Zimbardo etc)
Pieta Yes! I would too ☺
I think when talking about personality disorders, esp BPD, its important to mention that many of those diagnosed have suffered trauma in the past. Such behaviour becomes more understandable when we realise that navigating the world and relationships while dealing with trauma is very difficult for some.
i'd love to hear something about anxiety or maybe something lesser known or heavily misrepresented in media in a future video :)
me too
I want/need more psychology videos!!!
a family member of mine was recently diagnosed with BPD and this was an extremely helpful video (i am 4 minutes in and it's already super informative) just wanted to say thanks for shedding some non-biased light on these mental illnesses!
I really enjoyed this video, I think its incredibly important to talk about personality disorders as I feel like they aren't being discussed or recognized in today's society as much as some other forms of mental illness. However I don't completely agree with saying that throwing around terms like "narcissistic" is the same as throwing around terms like bipolar. Narcissism is not only a form of a personality disorder, but it also can be used as a general term. Something like bipolar, or OCD where you're describing a person is where I believe it can be offensive. Thanks so much for making this video!
Sarah Lindsay I agree 100%. Narcissistic and antisocial are terms that can exist on their own besides a diagnosis whereas bipolar and OCD do not
I absolutely agree. Think using bi-polar in that manner is different to saying you feel depressed. Depression is an emotion too, and an incredibly valid one. You can be depressed an anxious without having disorders.
There's the term "asocial" -- which means avoiding social contact. So yeah, "antisocial" is a standalone term. It's just a result of people's ignorance. But I do see the point about acknowledging narcissism, anxiety, & depression as they exist in a great deal of people... However, I think we can use terms like "vain", "egotistical", "selfish", etc. to more effectively express the specifics about someone's personality without diagnosing them. I mean... I guess my issue is more a grammatical one than a "THIS IS OFFENSIVE" one. :P
i agree with you! i totally understand the need to be careful about ableism, but narcissism comes from the greek myth of narcissus and was a term waaaay before narcissism was used as a medical term, and many of the other terms like "antisocial", "depressed" etc have a strong language connotation outside of psychology.
True... True that. Maybe I'm just taking things too literally. Probably taking things too literally. Not even so much out of an "ableism" sense, though that certainly applies. Hahah :P
I've been diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder and your description of it was spot on, congrats m8
i have bpd, and according to my doctor, i may also be suffering from npd, but i didn't know the exact symptoms so i watched your video, and it really helped me understand more about npd. i appreciate how you explained bpd in a way that didn't make us seem like we're exaggerated, and i also appreciate how you didn't make people with npd look like they're self obsessed because it is much deeper than that. overall, it was a great video. keep it up! :)
i didn't realize that antisocial and narcissistic were mental disorders-- i thought they were just adjectives to describe a person. thank you for making this video! i didn't know very much about personality disorders at all and my eyes have been opened to what other people are dealing with
Hi Sarah! I enjoy your energy and thank you for the content you put out. I am diagnosed BPD. I have just graduated from a program called DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy), which was developed by a therapist who herself has BPD, Marsha Lineham. In DBT, we learn that people operate from three states of mind. Emotion, reason, and wise mind. Emotion mind is as it reads, your feelings, your creativity, etc. Reason Mind is the analytical, numbers, schedules, etc. And wise mind is a grouping of the best parts of those previous two states. My emotional reactions are intense, and last much longer than what would be considered normal, which causes me to primarily operate in my emotion mind. So losing my keys can feel like someone just punched me in the face. Increasing mindfulness skills has helped me tremendously with this. I understand what you mean by personality disorders being fascinating, they really are. Because most of us with personality disorders have intense human characteristics in one category (for BPD, emotions) . I think that's why it's easy to see yourself in these descriptions. There really isn't much information available to the general public about mental illness outside of depression, or anxiety so thank you for taking the time to make this video.
I would really love a video about mood disorders. I myself have generalized anxiety/panic disorder as well as PTSD and It would be interesting to hear a description from someone who is educated. It sounds strange but it is validating to hear people talk about it in a matter of fact sort of way.
My father had NPD. One thing that is common with a person with NPD is they choose a person to push all their insecurities onto (this is usually a child or partner). When they lose the person that they out insecurities they talk bad about them a lot. My older sister was the original "scapegoat" when she reported his sexual abuse he started telling me and my little brother (we were 6 and 8 at the time) that her and my mother were liars and that they did him wrong. The lovely title of the scapegoat was then pushed onto me until I also came out about the sexual abuse he did to me (when I was 11). He started telling my brother (who was 9) that I was lying about it too. It is so important that people do not self diagnose themselves with personality disorders. NPD is not just being full of yourself or being vain or entitled--NPD is about them trying to push their insecurities on one person so that they don't feel insecure. People with NPD (in my opinion) are less discussed as bad but are probably worse than someone with antisocial PD (if they are not treated like my father).
Ooooo just clicked this so fast!! Haven't watched it yet, but thank you for bringing some attention to these disorders. I have STPD.
A couple notes though, as someone who has studied PDs as well as having one: most people with Antisocial PD never go on to become violent, legitimately harmful people, and it's really important to emphasize that when bringing it up, given the whole ~psychopath murderer~ stigma/assumption. Recommending just We Need to Talk About Kevin and The Good Son, without a more neutral reference alongside it, plays into that stigma. (I know you didn't mean harm. Just for future reference and anyone who reads this.)
Vee Doll do you know of any good neutral references ? I'd love to understand more about that 😊
Alexis Baker Only one off the top of my head is Tony from Skins UK. Definitely not a good person as far as examples of ASPD go, but at least he isn't violent like the other given examples.
ahh thanks so much !
yes thank you for pointing this out! definitely something I should have said in the video as I preach all the time that mental illness does NOT equal violence, so I do apologize for skimming over it so much :(
As someone with BPD, I really appreciate how you approached this. However, with the black-and-white thinking of Borderlines, it's not as "black and white" (lol) as you said. Like, I wouldn't say the world as simplistic, but I FEEL that way. I am aware of the shades of grey, but the trouble is convincing my emotions/reactions of that. This is the same in a of borderlines I know. However, as with all mental illnesses, everybody experiences different combinations of symptoms and ways of experiencing symptoms.
Can I just say two things: 1) I love that you film with no makeup, it’s so real and raw and I respect it so much. It gives me courage to bare my less than perfect skin 2) you’re so informative!! Thanks for making this kind of content.
Oh my gosh! thank you for continually telling people not to self diagnose! I know too many people who use these terms so flippantly and it's really frustrating when it isn't really what they mean or they lack a formal diagnosis. When people just self-diagnose or say they have something without a formal diagnosis or just say they have a mental illness/disorder, it minimalises people who really need treatment.
I clicked this video so fast. I am a psychology student and I am really interested in studying personality disorders and understanding the etiology of them. Loved this vid (even though I've learned this already)!
You've really inspired me to learn more about psychology, I'm actually taking abnormal psych this semester and I'm so excited to dive into it! This video was awesome :)
My mom is a narcissist and I would like to add that they are almost incapable of recognizing that they do anything wrong, tend to play the victim and put the blame on anyone but themselves. You're definitely right about the low self esteem.
Thank you so much for this video. I'm fairly certain that my biological father has narcissistic personality disorder but there isn't too much about it besides the stereotypes that exist in the media that show narcissists as people who stare into mirrors all day (which isn't my dad at all). As a kid I was so troubled by the things my dad would do that didn't make any sense to anyone but himself and always struggled to explain my father to people who didn't know him, but all I could say is that "my dad isn't really normal". Now that I'm a college student I have a passion for psychology and discovering what NPD actually was and learning about it more helped me explain my dad's behaviors. I feel so much more able to be at peace with my dad now that I know that there are reasons for his weird behaviors. So now anytime someone posts about NPD I am fascinated and have such an intense desire to know more. It's like my childhood confusion is being explained to me clearly! Thank you so much.
I just got out of a relationship with someone I loved very much who has bpd and listening to you describe it just made me start crying. It clarified so much and it helped hearing that certain behaviors are caused by the disorder, and not anything that we as bystanders can control. I really loved this video. Thank you.
Hey Sarah, as a person with diagnosed BPD and DPD (yes, such a "fun" combination) I wanted to say thank you. Thank you for helping get rid of the stigma around personality disorders. When I tell people I have Borderline they tend to freak out and they always seem suprised that I'm a functioning social adult eventhough I have a personality disorder. So providing the general public with information is one of the best ways to break the stigma and you're helping with this. So, thanks.
I’ve recently been diagnosed with BPD and when you said “The partner could forget an anniversary and they will think it means they don’t love them or they’re cheating on them” and I genuinely thought “Well yeah that’s the only logical explanation for forgetting an anniversary” cba with myself.
being friends with some with borderline personality disorder is really hard. I didn't really know what was going on with my friend when she would go from one extreme to the other. There was times she felt completely left out or depressed, even when we were all in a car laughing together, all because someone said something that bothered her. I would often fight with her, trying to keep her emotions down and really just trying to keep us in a healthy friendship. But after high school we just stopped talking like most people do and I realized that the times we had were fun and I enjoy the memories, but if she doesn't want talk to me anymore I'm fine with it and if she just wants to show up out of the blue and be friends again I'm fine with that too. I think I need to just let her do what she wants and show support when she needs it. Also you gave the best explanation of BPD I have heard so far. It makes a lot more sense now to me.
I suffer from BPD and Bipolar Disorder (amongst other things) and I've been getting treatment in the form of therapy and medication for years. It's often hard to explain to friends and loved ones what I go through and exactly what BPD is and I think you did a really great job of explaining it in this video. I'll definitely be showing people this to help them further understand my diagnosis, thank you so much for making this. I'm looking forward to more psychology videos from you 😊🖤
I think the fact that personality disorders have such a stigma around them highly contributes to why people with them tend to deny the fact that anything is wrong, because you see a lot of people online talking about how disorders like BPD are such "attention-seeking" disorders. It gets to the point where a person would rather be diagnosed with anything but a personality disorder because of how badly stigmatized they are.
These kinds of things are indeed very interesting & as someone with BPD & Bipolar disorder it was also interesting hearing the information laid out like that formally & without judgement. I think the devastating fear of abandonment is a good thing to mention with BPD and also that (I have been told many times by my therapists) it can manifest as a result of childhood abuse. Great job and I would love to see more videos like this!
Thank you for posting about these! I was diagnosed with borderline at 18, and although it is the most diagnosed, many people know nothing about really any of the personality disorders. I had never heard of borderline when I was diagnosed and had to research it myself. Thank you for sharing information!
One small correction: grouping ODD, conduct disorder, and ASPD together as "all kind of the same thing" isn't entirely accurate. They overlap quite a bit, but they are distinct, especially ODD and CD. Regardless, I love this video and you're just great.
During ten months of in-patient treatment at a children’s psych hospital, I was diagnosed with borderline. Although I’m 17 my symptoms were really prominent. Understanding my diagnosis was key to me getting better. I did a LOT of CBT and DBT therapy and my therapist was amazing!! I’m so thankful I was admitted before I turned 18 because then I would have to go through the adult psych units. I hate the stigma surrounding BPD because most of us are trying so hard to cope and be good people. I’m two months out of the hospital now and my interpersonal relationships have been doing really well. Thanks for making this
As a person dealing with avoidant personality disorder (been diagnosed for three years now) it’s soo good to see someone taking about it because people doesn’t know about the different ones. People usually only think of borderline, antisocial and schizofrenia when they hear about personality disorders. So thank you for this video😊
Thank you for reminding people to be more empathetic when talking about mental illness. you're very professional about everything, and you still manage to let your quirkyness shine through. I wish u were my psychologist!!! best of luck in your career :)
Thank you for this video ♡ I have been diagnosed with EUPD which in the UK is another name for BPD and I feel you discussed the topic with respect for those of us who do suffer. My step brother also has Schizophrenia so it was nice to hear someone tackle both of these disorders with facts rather than opinion ♡ love you and your videos as always and get well soon ♡
Please make a video about mood disorders! I haven't been diagnosed but I feel like I'm dealing with some of them. I'd love to hear you brielfy talk about it :)
I am BPD as well, and I shared your vid on FB cause peeps need to know that BPD has nothing to do with bipolar disorder, we have mood swings but not like maniac-depressive way. Please more vids like this,it was short,concise, and painless. hugs Sarah!
Maybe the underlying reason why many people in society identity with these characteristics is because mental abnormalities are extremely common within the vast majority? I mean we can't really speak on behalf of every individual in regards to what psychological processes are running in their psyche, this is still a subject that we have very limited information about. Humanity is obviously pretty messed up and it's being reflected on a global level. But from my own experience while examining human behaviour, these "disorders" may simply be programs simulated by the subconscious mind to ensure survival, that would explain the link between childhood trauma and personality disorders. If someone grows up in an abusive household then their body will naturally react and go into a defensive state in order to preserve an element control and adapt to the chaos in the environment. Anyway, this was a really interesting video! Keep up the good work :)
My boyfriend has/had Borderline. The first year of our relationship was extremely turbulent. I suffered a lot personally because I was often manipulated, controlled, accused, blamed, and flat out insulted whenever he would get anxious and defensive. I would go as far as to say that he was emotionally abusive. I think the partners and family members of those with personality disorders feel a lot of pain.
My boyfriend and I even broke it off for 2 months, and during that time he decided to seek help. I am so proud of him for that - I can't imagine how difficult it must be to admit a flaw in personality. We eventually got back together (I always intended to if his treatment was working.) The first months back together were challenging, but now he is 99% recovered and I have never been so sure that he loves and cares about me.
Loving someone with a personality disorder is definitely one of the most difficult things I have faced in life so far, but it's important that we as friends/family/lovers be there for the ones we love who are struggling. Also, for the people in the comments who might be stuck with one of these disorders, this is me telling you that they CAN be cured or at least coped with. I've seen it! Much love
As a person who has been diagnosed with bpd I am so happy that this video exists, so thank you very much Sarah
I've been diagnosed with BPD and I'm also fascinated by mentall illness.
I personally find it easier to deal with something/someone when I exactly know what's going on.
I have NPD and what you say is true, I feel terrible when I realise that I have normal human abilities and that I can't take care of myself well without getting on with other people and compromising with all the average everyday responsibilities, I hate it, it's like the thing that gets me out of bed is the appeal of consistent productivity and unlimited potential and I've gotten into a lot of trouble with people through being emotionally abusive and 'gaslighting'/creating a false impression of reality and false accusations and mockery etc, that I've gotten into this position where I don't bother pursuing anything and just stay in my room, but am starting to try and talk to people more about it to build up trusting relationships and get help, I get some narcissistic supply from exhibitionistically waving the label around and others can feel that they're somewhat safe as I'm practising self awareness, so it's a win win for everyone. I don't set out to get anyone, it's more of just a reaction to false perceptions I have of the person being competitive and trying to challenge me, but what they're really doing is just refusing to validate my false self perceptions and wanting me to show that I'm okay with that, false self perceptions which are other people that I have seen in real life or off TV that I admire or see as attention worthy and so I by association try to behave to fit into and maintain those false self perceptions, which basically means that other people have to walk on egg shells with me, and of course I also lack empathy which means that even if they knock over my delicate and temporary 'mosaic' sense of identity by accident then I find it very easy to objectify and get angry with them and think that they're just being stupid and that their feelings aren't important, like it's really hard to value their feelings, like I understand what they're probably feeling but don't actually feel it to really care, and just want to keep those false self perceptions going, but then I hurt a lot of people as a result and don't even give it much thought, like I'm running people over in order to get somewhere 'better', but am getting better with support and a lot of kicks up the arse. :)
Oh and I tell a lot of BS, so like this big explanation would have been all about having depression or anxiety or some other personality disorder, and have done this thousands of times about people I don't like or don't trust and my suspicions... and the problem is that if it's not true but I talk about it like this, well then it distorts other people's perceptions and poisons their minds, even though to me I'm just explaining my perception. I'm just exhausted with it now though because it takes a lot of energy to keep those lies going and I've been trusting some people more who have reached out to me and given me help but have also confronted me about my manipulative behaviour, and it's such a huge relief to tell the truth and know that there is always a good possibility that you are not the only one of your kind and that there are people out there who will help you no matter how bad you think you are.
Thank you for being so nice about BPD, it's rare to hear people being compassionate and understanding towards us. Usually we get the psycho ex girlfriend or serial killer analogy. What you said makes a lot of sense.
i learnt yesterday that the extreme good-bad thinking in ppl with bpd is called "splitting" and its a coping mechanism seen in infants and toddlers from like 18-36 months (or atleast it was called that in the book im reading).
I think they also mentioned that alot of adults with bpd get diagnosed with adhd in childhood and adolescence cause there are some similarities, and they compared bpd to a sustained attention deficit because of how they will act on the now and cant remember the past in order to make judgments, or something like that.
But anyway i really like these types of videos, thanks for making them!
I would love to see more videos like this: Little idea - it would be helpful for me (and I guess for some others too) if you could put little annotations, such as which personality disorder your talking about, and little bullet points in the video, so it will help to focus on what you're saying :) Kind of like a power point presentation. When watching this I found it to be a bit confusing which one you were talking about now.
I find personality disorders really interesting and it was one of my favorite subjects. There seems to be a further distinction in narcissism personality disorder between grandiose narcissism (self-centeredness, entitlement and limited capacity for empathy) and vulnerable narcissism (which is that presentation of low-self esteem and anxiety) which makes me wonder if there is a certain aetiology track driving the difference between the two.
Thanks for making this video!
Shaylee Lobb ooh that's a good point! I have ex's that belong in both categories 😭 did you think of this on your own or was this information you read about?
i have avpd and i'd say its main difference from social anxiety is that avpd is more rooted in feelings of insecurity because its not just in social environments but a constant "i'm awful and should never communicate ever" thing. while social anxiety is, more like, having massive panic attacks in social situations but you might act very chill and extroverted while with close friends etc but with avpd you don'T have 1 single calm moment lol because your self esteem is so low you can't form any relationships and start ruining the ones you already have because you avoid everyone. it's an unhealthy and uneffective coping mechanism for dealing with extreme anxiety. people with avpd tend to develop dependant feelings on few people whom they consider safe to be around. and this isn't an official sypmtom thing but from my experience & research maladaptive daydreaming is very common, to make up for your non existing irl social life.
also, i agree with others that it was kinda annoying to hear you call disorders interesting and fascinating over and over again throughout the video. i know you mean no harm but it's really upsetting that my biggest problem in life is "fascinating" to you. i hope all these comments make you rethink & empathize more.. otherwise the video was very informing and well explained :)
I appreciate this video, though for Borderline Personality Disorder (I have BPD) I think you should have put more emphasis on the fact that it is centered around emotional instability rather than black and white thinking (black and white thinking is a feature of it, but is not the basis for the disorder) and should have made a mention of extreme fear of abandonment that typically leads to instability in relationships (I say this because fear of abandonment is a key feature of BPD). In other countries BPD is called Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder, which I think is what it should be called in the U.S as well, because it is much more accurate. BPD is heavily stigmatized (the assumption is that we are inherently manipulative and abusive), and I wanted to thank you for not doing that in the video!
Around two and a half years ago, I read all I could find and dug deep in videos about personality disorders. Dependant personality disorder got me hard. I knew there had always been something wrong with me, and that was it. I just knew it. I cried heavily each time I heard another story about this disorder and people with it, because it was too much like my own story. In addition to this, I have always been really good at knowing myself/dealing with my problems and I have been almost too lucky with the people around me to ever have been diagnosed with this. The woman that helped me get better never said I had it, and maybe I didn't. But I was freaking close, and after having this in the back of my mind and constantly working with myself and having the best boyfriend one could ever have (especially for DPD's), I think I can finally see myself cured. Even though I may never have had a personality disorder in the first place, but it was definitely a problem of mine and all my previous relationships. Also, the end of this video: so much empathy and love sent towards you ❤ get well soon!
I was just going over my medical records last night looking for my blood type (so it's funny you uploaded this today) and they diagnosed me with personality disorder in 2007 but were not specific at all. I was not 18 yet until 2009. I honestly feel like it's bs that they diagnosed me with that as a teen because I wasn't even sleeping because school started so damn early and I would get physically ill when I would go there without enough sleep. I was literally just a tired, anxious teen and no longer experience these issues at 26.
I love your psychology videos so much. I've seen you do a video with Sam on Anxiety awhile back, but I was wondering if you could do a video on Social Anxiety? It is something a lot of people don't understand. I have had a lot of people walk out of my life because of closing myself away so I can hide from the constant fear of judgement. But I've tried talking to my once closest friend about it and she said, "I have anxiety so I know what it is like, what you have is not anxiety you're just insecure." It seems like people think Social Anxiety and Anxiety are the same thing. I wish more people knew about what it really is.
I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS. such a breath of fresh air from all the basic youtubers that post the same content
Honestly LOVING these phycology videos. So straight to the point and interesting, I need more!
Dear me, how come I haven't found you ages ago! All your videos are so great, but especially the psychology-related ones, I love your honest passion for the topics :) I understand the "fascination" undertone, as I have simmilar views on disability (both as being disabled myself, and also because I have done education and work in fields concerning disability) So now I'm just more or less bingewatching your channel and IT"S SO COOL.
Anyway I decided to finally comment on this vid because it's been educational, but also very, very creepy to watch. My father is diagnosed with NPD (among other things) - and I can easily see the hard line between the mild self-diagnosis you mention, the "oh, I sometimes do this or that" and someone who is actually suffering from the disorder. (Basically I'd just tickle every single NPD box for my father _to the core_ and this somewhat even scares me).
The difference between calling someone narcissistic or antisocial and calling someone bipolar is that words like narcissistic and antisocial have dictionary definitions completely separate from these disorders. If someone is bipolar, they have bipolar disorder (or at least that's what the dictionary says), but if someone is narcissistic, that can definitionally mean that they are just full of themselves.
this was really interesting! but also made me a bit sad thinking about people in the past who must have suffered from these things, but were probably ignored or criticized because mental illness wasn't a 'thing'
I was diagnosed with BPD and HPD recently, and I do have to say, this is an amazing video. HPD, however, can use a bit of work, especially because uninvited sexual advances were not mentioned in this video, but I have admittedly done this to many of my friends, and even strangers, in order to get attention. This year, I lost nearly all of my friends to my extremely unpredictable emotions and self-destructive behaviors, including six suicide attempts. I read somewhere that they might be switching BPD to a mood disorder called emotion dysregulation disorder. I feel like BPD is more of a mood disorder, especially because we experience dramatic highs and lows all throughout the day. Also, about the stigmas surrounding personality disorders, I must say I've dated someone with ASPD (conduct disorder at the time) and it was probably the most loving relationship I've ever been in. The bipolar stereotype also kind of reminds me of BPD. I've been called bipolar by many of my ex-friends, and I think they have just been confusing the two.
I don't really feel like saying "i'm so narcissistic" or "I'm anti-social" is misleading because these were terms before they were attached to dissorders.
As someone who is a psychology major and has BPD, I'm fascinated by personality disorders too. Psychology can be a passion and the human mind is fascinating. Sarah I get you completely.
Really great explanation, Sarah. I wish you would have touched on how you can have varying levels of a maladaptive PD trait, though. Just because you have some of these traits does not mean you're crazy or you're doomed or anything like that, you can display PD traits and be highly functioning, meaning you can be just as successful in life as anyone else! Suuupposedly really successful, high level businessmen are more likely to display high functioning traits associated with antisocial personality disorder! Interesting stuff. (:
This was very interesting, it's difficult to not diagnosw yourself, so I'm glad ypu put the disclaimer in the beginning. Looking forward to seeing more videos on this subject and learning to view this topic even more objectively =)
i have been diagnosticated with borderline disorder and this video helped my parents understand a little bit more about how i feel and how i see things. thank you for that. have a nice day :-)
I'm studying psychology and I'm SO happy I found your channel!!! They're incredibly interesting and helpful! Keep it up! :)
Thanks for this video. My late Father was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and hearing about all of the other personality disorders as well was interesting. I could definitely see some of the cross over from one to another that he experienced.
thank you so much for making this video! this is so important I have boderline personality disorder and it's so hard sometimes, so thank you for talking about it ❤
You're the first person I've found who's a Psychology lover and a Metalhead like me and it's brilliant
I have bpd, I was diagnosed almost 3 years ago. And for me getting the diagnosis was a relief, I finally had a diagnosis that made sense. I mean I have other diagnoses that fit, but man it was such a relief I cant describe it. I also have quiet borderline, most of my anger is directed inwards versus outwards. But the splitting with people is real, I have to constantly step back and evaluate myself.
Sarah, I thought this was a great overview of personality disorders! Of course not all details or information was talked about, because it would be impossible to do so. I would love for you to do a video about the gender differences in diagnosis for personality disorders, as I think it is incredibly interesting and very telling about how we as a westernized nation socialize gender and how these gender roles are portrayed in normal vs abnormal psychology. For example, the heavy prominence of males with antisocial PD or the heavy prominence of females with borderline PD, and what may be the reason for such disproportions. And building off of that, the fact that the majority of serial killers or those informally diagnosed with "psychopathy" (which isn't in the DSM currently) are male.
When studying personality disorders in my psych 101 class this year, what I found interesting about them is how the textbook stated that skeptics noticed how these disorders are extremely rare, if not nonexistent, outside of the US! Thought? :) Great videos btw!!
I'm currently being tested for a bunch of mental illnesses ( including personality disorders) for reasons I won't get into and your videos are really nice to watch :D
Your videos interest me so much ! I've always had interest in psychology and just how the brain works etc and your videos/channel fit right in with me ! Super glad I found your channel ☺️💚
It's very true that some personality disorders are difficult to diagnose, well in my personal experience it has been. When I was 14/15 I was diagnosed with bipolar and depression because of my constant mood swings and suicidal thoughts from a young age and I was given medication for that, I went through many medications for about 3 years to treat the bipolar disorder and depression, but I never really felt like the medications helped but I took them anyways because I wanted to get better for my family and somewhat myself. A week after my 18th birthday I admitted myself to a mental institution where I spent a month, there doctor sort of experimented with different medications to see what worked, finally I was given some personality test, like drawing, describing pictures, that sorta thing by the end of my stay i was diagnosed with borderline personality with recurring depression. When i was finally diagnosed and I got out with no medication but obligatory therapy with someone specialized with borderline, I finally felt okay, I felt a lot more normal and good. And I tell this because there are a lot of people frustrated that they feel bad and they want to be okay or normal right away but from personal experience, but however long it takes at the end it is such an exhale of relief.
Can you tell us about your process of getting your degree?
Madeleine Moreland yes yes yes please sarah
Madeleine Moreland yes!!!
BPD person here, we actually often understand other people we just have waaay overexaggerated emotions, we see the tiniest things normal people ignore and we overanalyze everything but this usually comes from our fear of abandonment. We are hella dramatic and impulsive so it's hard for us to control our actions but than when I think about them god help me...:D Also I shouldn't speak for all of us cause everybody is different and this disorder doesn't sum up who you are, humans are way more complicated and mysterious...BTW love the video and spreading awareness as I often feel misunderstood
pleaseee do videos like these on anxiety and depression, also one on schizophrenia would be great so you can really contrast the differences
I've only ever been diagnosed with Borderline, however I've also been diagnosed with social and general anxiety, but I feel that I relate to many of these disorders.
Especially Antisocial, avoidant and paranoid. They all sound like me quite a bit.
But then again, It might just be social anxiety and hearing a brief summary of the illnesses might not be enough to assume that I have them... Lol BUT my mom does have schizophrenia too, so, totally possible.
Good job by the way, i think you described these all rly well :D
sometimes i spend a while without watching your videos and when i come back i realize that i love you ahhhh please more videos like this!